Why Do We Form Relationships? Professor Tamara Arrington COM 252 University of Kentucky.
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Transcript of Why Do We Form Relationships? Professor Tamara Arrington COM 252 University of Kentucky.
Why Do We Form Relationships?
Professor Tamara ArringtonCOM 252
University of Kentucky
Attraction Social attraction
Desire to belong to a group, person, or society
Physical attraction Strongest
predictor of initial interaction
Task attraction Desire to have
something done
We Like People Who Are Similar To Us… …Usually Common ground – interests,
experiences Attraction is greatest when
we are similar to others ina high % of importantareas
We Like People Who Are Different From Us… …In Certain Ways Complementarity Balance and adjustment
are key
We Like People Who Like Us… …Usually! We are attracted to people
we believe are attractedto us
People who approve of us strengthen our self-concept
We must see their interest as sincere
We Are Attracted To People Who Can Help Us We seek out people who can give
us rewards – either physical or emotional
Healthy relationships seek outequitable exchanges
We Like Competent People… …Especially when they’re “human” We want their competencies
to reflect well on us BUT – we don’t want to
look bad in comparison
We Are Attracted To People Who Disclose Themselves To Us…
Appropriately! It suggests respect and
trust Needs to be
appropriate inbreadth & depth
Sometimes timing iseverything
We Feel Strongly About People We Encounter Often Proximity leads to liking Chances are we will choose
a mate whom we crosspaths with often
Of course, familiarity can also breed contempt!
Personal Relationships and Physical Attractiveness
Physical Attractiveness Important in mating behavior Appreciation for beauty may be
biological (based on studies of infant and children’s preferences)
Though the ideal changes over time and across cultures, there is basic agreement on who is and is not considered physically attractive.
Evolutionary Perspective Physical attractiveness in a partner
generally more important to males. Cues to female’s health and
reproductive potential Females prefer partners who show signs
of physical ability, intellect, ambition, and status – ability to generate and control resources.
Height in males given a high rating by females.
Sociocultural Perspective Effect of female’s beauty seems to
transfer to some extent to the man she is with. The same does NOT apply to women.
Likewise, when with physically unattractive persons, we are perceived as being less physically attractive ourselves.
Attributes Assigned to the Physically Attractive Warmer More sexually
responsive More sensitive More sociable More nurturing Assumed to have
more prestigious occupations
More masculine (men) or feminine (women)
Kinder More interesting Stronger More poised More outgoing More exciting on dates Seen as happier Seen as better
husband/wife potential
Benefits of Physical Attractiveness
More likely to get offers of assistance in times of need
More cooperation in conflict situations Elicit more self-disclosure More effective at persuasion More likely to be hired, and seen as more
effective on the job Less likely to be found guilty by a jury (with a
few exceptions) Mental health connection – for both clients and
therapists
Communicative Implications of Physical Attractiveness More social options & can be more
selective Self-fulfilling prophecy in social
situations Rated as more social, sexually
warmer, more permissive and interesting.
Relational Implications Dating The Matching Hypothesis Friendships Marriage
More stable when matched We “aim high, but are tempered by a
bit of realism”.
http://students.usm.maine.edu/klande71/during,html
The Downside As a group, seen as egotistical, snobbish,
and vain Not viewed as high in integrity or having
concern for others Less physically attractive are seen as more
honest and moral Men and women later in life – better to have
been an attractive young male than a female
Those less attractive more likely to “make up for it” in other ways
Discussion Questions Research suggests that we often
underestimate the influence of physical attractiveness in our personal relationships. Why do you think this is so?
What are the major relational advantages and disadvantages of being physically attractive?
How do you account for gender differences in the emphasis on physical attractiveness? Do you favor an evolutionary or a sociocultural approach?