“What is Self-Regulation? What is Self-Reg?”

Autumn Winter 2020 | Issue 07

pedagogyDear Member,

So much has happened since the last issue of Early Pedagogy. In June, Early Learning and Care settings led the way as many education and care settings reopened. The pandemic is teaching us all many things, and front and center is the need for us all to watch out for one another.

For many of you, returning to your setting may have been exciting, but also daunting. You may have felt worry and anxiety and some children and families may have experienced increased feelings of anxiety too. We are living in extraordinary times, and it is important to remember that it is ‘okay to not be okay’. Understanding and dealing with stress in ourselves has never been more important. Early Learning and Care settings provide such an important community support. The caring relationships and love within settings are helping children and families to adjust to the many changes they are facing. Educators in daily practice are constantly having to adapt and change.

Of course, managing the spread of this virus brings so many unknowns for Early Learning and Care settings. While support needs to come from within settings - through the team and families - it also requires support from the wider community, and the government. We really are all in this together. A number of articles in this issue focus on self-regulation, with a range of thought-provoking theories and reflective thinking. They may influence your own pedagogical approach to reducing stresses for children and adults. Now more than ever, educators across the country are helping children and adults understand the many changes which have happened recently. They will continue to offer support as additional changes come into effect. Therefore, it is important to recognise our own stress load when things may feel more challenging.

Issue 07 – Reflections on Pedagogy Learning Together

The importance of stories and storytelling, using routines to develop predictability in times of uncertainty with the possibilities created through, play, and relationships are also shared in this edition.

We thank the children who have contributed examples of their artwork for this issue. Our front cover drawing was designed by Max (14), while the final two pages of this edition are dedicated to the creativity displayed by children during the period of lockdown.

So, take some time to relax, read and reflect.

Keep well and most importantly, look after yourself as best you can.

Milica Atanackovic Manager - Research & Professional Learning Team

early pedagogy supplement autumn winter 20202

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This is an exciting time to be working in the area of self-regulation. Every week sees some new advance in our understanding of how self-regulation relates, not just to children’s emotions and behaviour, and of course their physical health, but also to their intelligence and their capacity to

learn. Moreover, we are learning by leaps and bounds about the importance of the early years for robust self-regulation in later childhood and adolescence.

The starting point for all these breakthroughs is to get clear on what is understood by self-regulation. We were surprised to learn, from a study that Jeremy Burman conducted, that there are 447 different uses of “self-regulation” in circulation. These can be

grouped into a small number of clusters: variations on self-monitoring, self-managing, and self-control. But the original definition of self-regulation, introduced in the middle of the 19th century and developed by physiologists at the beginning of the 20th, solely refers to how we manage stress.

Shanker Self-Reg® is based on this original definition: for an extremely important reason. There is a tendency to treat self-regulation as what psychologists refer to as a “normative” concept. That is, something akin to a milestone that the majority of children will acquire by a certain age, like walking or talking. This is the thinking behind the common tendency to treat self-regulation as a matter of managing one’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviour. But the original physiological definition of self-regulation draws attention to the fact that infants and toddlers are already self-regulating. The problem is, they often do so in ways that are counter-productive: that are maladaptive as opposed to growth-promoting.

By “maladaptive” what is meant is that the child adopts a method of dealing with stress that serves to create even greater stress down the road. Take the case of the child who deals with his emotional stress by immersing himself in a video game. It is not uncommon to find that, when finally pried away from his device, he is even more dysregulated than was the case when he started. Compare this behaviour with the child who deals with emotional stress by talking with her parents, exercising, or reading. Or the case of the young infant who self-soothes when over-stressed. We refer to these latter modes of self-regulation as “growth-promoting” because of their positive impact on emotional, social, and cognitive development.

It is important to bear in mind that the moment of birth constitutes a veritable onslaught of stressors that the newborn did not have to deal with in the womb: e.g., ambient temperature, noise, light, hunger and digestion. Some infants – particularly those with a delicate nervous system – respond to this stress-load by avoidance, withdrawal, and in some cases, by shutting down. This type of response is the epitome of a maladaptive mode of self-regulation, insofar as it blocks those interactive experiences that are essential for language, emotional and social development, and as I have stressed, self-regulation.

“What is Self-Regulation? What is Self-Reg?”Dr. Stuart Shanker, Distinguished Research Professor Emeritus of Philosophy and Psychology, York University, CEO The MEHRIT Centre, Founder and Visionary, Self-Reg Global

Clodagh Kelleher (Age 3) This is me with Mammy and Daddy. They have curly hair. On top is me and my sister Aoibheann with hearts and writing

early pedagogy supplement autumn winter 2020 3

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It goes without saying, when we are dealing with cases of maladaptive self-regulation in infants, that we cannot explain to them why it is so important to remain engaged with us. Rather, we must become stress-detectives, searching for the stimuli that the infant finds overly stressful. We then set about to reduce these stresses so that the child will naturally seek out interactions with her caregiver: what in Self-Reg is referred as the Interbrain. The Interbrain is our primary resource for dealing with stress at the beginning of life and remains so at the end.

Interestingly, we often see teenagers regressing to the level of childhood when severely over-stressed. In this situation we are naturally inclined to lecture, given their age and overall comprehension; yet what they find most beneficial is the type of warm and soothing response that produces the same feeling of safety and security that they had experienced in childhood.

One of the most important patterns that we observed in our research was the case of infants who were referred to our Centre for an attachment disorder, yet when we observed them interacting naturally with their caregivers it was clear they were, in fact, securely attached. This led us to distinguish between robust and fragile secure attachment. In the case of the former, the child can enter the noisy world of daycare or kindergarten and engage with different adults without becoming dysregulated. But in the case of the latter, we were seeing children who regressed to earlier maladaptive behaviours because of the dramatic increase in stress-load or because the caregiver or educator lacked the parents’ nuanced understanding of the child’s sensory needs and thresholds.

We must be especially careful, in the case of fragile secure attachment, to distinguish between misbehaviour and stress-behaviour. That is, we must guard against seeing the child as engaged in some form of wilful or oppositional behaviour when in fact he is struggling to deal with a stress-load that he finds overwhelming. Here is a case where it is especially important to practice the five steps of Self-Reg:

Reframe the child’s behaviour

Recognize the different stresses the child is dealing with (across multiple domains)

Reduce the child’s stress-load

Reflect on whether the child knows what it feels like to be calm, what it feels like to be becoming over-stressed

Restore: The child’s energy for tomorrow and our Interbrain connection with that child today.

Shanker Self-Reg® is a process for enhancing self- regulation by understanding and dealing with stress: in ourselves as much as in the children we work with. If it has one overarching lesson to teach us, it is this:

There is no such thing as a bad kid.

For more information, see www.self-reg.ca; Stuart Shanker (2016), Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life; and Stuart Shanker (2020), Reframed: Self-Reg for a Just Society.

Harry Quinn (age 10) Loves brain teasing puzzles

Clodagh Kelleher (Age 3) My family. This is mammy and daddy. I’m on daddy’s shoulders. This is Aoibheann and Senan too


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Stories matter. Most of us can probably recall the magic of ‘once upon a time’ when, on someone’s lap, or tucked up in bed, we squirmed into a more comfortable position, secure in the knowledge that the world could wait for a while. In these strange

times of isolation and disturbed routines, it is even more important that we distract children and ease their fears. Storytelling is a perfect means for doing this.

All children love a story whether it is fact or fiction. Using non-fiction, parents can bring alive the world in which they grew up, their memories of their grandparents, toys they played with, holidays that went spectacularly wrong, times when they were naughty or nice. The wonder of the natural world, the story of the lifecycle of the

butterfly or the tree can become stories. Such narratives can be powerful as Barbara Hardy (1974) said, (quoted in Roche 2015 p149):

“…we dream in narrative, daydream in narrative, remember, anticipate, hope, despair, believe, doubt, plan, revise, criticize, construct, gossip, learn, hate, and love by narrative. In order really to live, we make up stories about ourselves and others, about the personal as well as the social past and future.”

There is ample evidence to support the idea that storytelling is important for learning. Student teachers are taught about the importance of narrative for engaging students with difficult scientific concepts, or as ways of recalling historical facts or geographical processes. Bruner (1991) explained why narrative was an important means of organising the structure of human experience.

Coping with the lockdown – the importance of storytelling and narrativeMary Roche, Author and Education Consultant

Aidan McLoughlin (Age 8) - Statue of Liberty - where he would like to go when he goes on a plane again


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A special thing happens when we are being told a story. We enter a unique relationship with each other, adult and child alike, rapt and wrapped in the magic of words. For that short time, we are the centre of someone’s attention. There is the emotional connection as we share our feelings – whether we talk about the fear we felt when we nearly fell from a tree, or the excitement of Christmas morning, or the delight at first seeing the sea, or the disappointment at not getting a longed-for birthday present.

We pestered my mother to tell and retell us about the first time she ate a tomato. I told my children about my first encounter with strawberry yoghurt. I walked miles back to the shop in Youghal on a hot day to return it, only to be told it was supposed to be sour. We loved my Dad’s tale of successfully catching a baby bunny only for his curious sister to lift the box and let it escape. My girls loved to hear about five-year-old me trying to persuade my three-year-old brother to eat snails - ‘because they were like smarties’. (A neighbour spotted what was happening and intervened, luckily).

We heard stories about our grandparents’ childhoods – a doll that came in a parcel from England; the sailor-suits and fancy clothes from America sent with ‘Ladd bacon’, which tasted lovely because it was shipped in port-wine casks, and how it flavoured the clothes too; the ‘yellow meal’ that our great-grandparents hated because of its connection to famine times. Such stories can lead to discussions involving history and geography, pre-digital communication, modes of travel, etc. Parents raised in rural areas have a host of stories of haymaking, turf-

cutting, milking and egg-searching. Urban townies like me can talk about playing street games, paddling in the river, catching gudgeons, and being allowed to go a-roving, unaccompanied by adults.

Then there are the scary stories about the boy who cried wolf; the three little pigs; the goat and the seven little kids; Red Riding Hood, the Salmon of Knowledge, Finn McCool. There are endless stories residing in our memories, just awaiting awakening.

There are also the stories we can make up, the characters we can invent – for that is how classics like The BFG, Pippi Longstocking, Winnie-the-Pooh, The Hobbit and many others began, after all. You can engage your child’s imaginative powers by encouraging them to create a story with you. This can turn bedtime into an extraordinarily rich experience. But be aware that they will recall every detail next night and your next retelling had better be accurate!

Megan Cox Gurdon (2019 p20) tells us that the story of humankind is the story of the human voice, telling stories. She reminds us that “we are taking part in one of the oldest and grandest traditions of humankind…the long and rich lineage of reading aloud stretches back to the days before anything was written down” (p23). Humankind has flourished with the sharing of stories from its earliest days and “…we can reclaim an old pleasure, one that has an amazing capacity to draw us together” (p39). Storytelling can engage us, transport us to a different time and place, and decrease anxiety. Time spent telling stories, creates a special magical place. And it’s irreplaceable (p61).

Harry Lawlor - Age 7 - Page from Harry’s bookHarry Lawlor - Age 7 - Front cover of Harry’s book


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Self-regulation, the ability to understand and manage your emotions and behaviour, is a critical developmental process which occurs across infancy right through to early adulthood. Brain maturation plays an important part in this process, but a child’s relationship with their caregivers

also plays a vital role in helping them achieve self-regulation through a process called co-regulation.

The human brain is a complex, evolving structure which develops over time from the bottom up. It consists of the brainstem (in charge of basic survival functions), the limbic system (in charge of emotions), and, on top, the cortex (in charge of a wide array of sensory, motor and cognitive functions). The pre-frontal cortex, just behind the forehead, is responsible for higher level cognitive skills such as planning, mental flexibility and impulse control, though it is not fully formed until the mid-twenties (think about teenage behaviour)! The period of most rapid brain development is the first three years of life, during which time a child’s brain will grow to 80% of its adult size, and has twice as many synaptic connections as it will have in adulthood. These synaptic connections are important as they help different areas of the brain

Developing self-regulation: The role of the caregiverBy Dr Victoria Page, Senior Clinical Psychologist

to integrate, or work in a co-ordinated way. They are stimulated and strengthened when we engage in activities in which those particular synapses are used, which means our brains are literally shaped by our experiences. For children, the experiences they have within those early years are therefore hugely important.

Knowing about brain development helps us to understand that whilst infants and young children experience emotional arousal, their brains are not yet capable of managing this. They need an attuned caregiver who can respond to, and externally regulate, their emotions for them. Through this the child’s ability to recognise, understand and manage emotions in the self and others is developed, and refined over time. This iterative process is what we call co-regulation, and the way it is played out will change according to the child’s stage of development, as their capacity for self-regulation increases.

Infants are dependent on adults to be sensitive and responsive to their cues and manage their regulatory needs for them eg. feeding and soothing. As a baby or toddler develops motor and language skills, they learn that they have some control over their environment. Their emerging skills are not always sufficient to achieve their desires, and because their

Anna Quinn (Age 8) Anna loves Rainbows, they’re her favourite things to draw


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brains are not yet fully developed or integrated, they can become easily overwhelmed. This may be expressed as behaviours such as shouting, crying, or hitting. Looking for the emotion that underlies behaviour in these difficult moments provides a wonderful opportunity for co-regulation, where caregivers can name and validate the child’s feelings, and scaffold their learning by supporting their emerging skills eg. giving them language to better communicate their needs, or offering just enough help to facilitate the achievement of their goal. If however, we respond directly to the behaviour by using punishment (eg. telling off, or ‘Time Out’); dismissing (eg. distracting); or rescuing (eg. fixing the problem for them), we simply extinguish the unwanted behaviour but miss the opportunity to address the emotional and developmental needs of the child. During the preschool years, as a child’s verbal skills develop further, they

Lauren Quinn (Age 6) A dream garden...treehouse and a swimming pool

Aidan and Ollie McLoughlin (Age 5 & 8) Rocket

may start to express their needs more clearly and identify basic emotions. Their brains are also continuing to develop and they become able to learn concepts such as problem solving, perspective taking, and strategies to calm. Their capacity to self-regulate is strengthening, and whilst they still require support to understand and manage their emotions, the caregiver’s role in co-regulation moves towards providing an environment conducive to supporting the child’s emerging self-regulation skills eg. structure and routine, clear rules and expectations, and caregiver modelling of self-regulation skills.

Co-regulation continues well beyond early childhood, indeed the use of co-regulation with older children and adolescents provides a rich opportunity to support the development of complex cognitive and emotional skills as they face new transitions and challenges in life.


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As our children return to their early childhood settings, it is now more important than ever to think about how to support their overall wellbeing. A good sense of wellbeing is being able to self-regulate your own emotions, to have the ability to calm and soothe yourself before you act. Children

need to be able to express, understand and manage their own emotions and behaviour. Children learn to self-regulate over time with the help and support of parents, early childhood educators and their peers.

With the pandemic, many children have not been in an early childhood setting for six months. They may no longer have a predictable, yet flexible routine that includes getting up in the morning, going to a setting/

Routine, Predictability, and Interactions Help Children to Self-regulateMichelle Harte, Síolta Manager/Early Education Advisor, National Children’s Network

childminder, navigating all the different situations that arise naturally with peers in everyday moments and having a good bedtime routine. Children’s body clocks and rhythms may be a little off at the moment, as are ours. Having a routine that is predictable and consistent helps children know what is coming next and can be really important. Helping children to navigate all the different situations that arise every day is part of what early childhood settings and home do best and when parents and early childhood educators do this together it has really positive outcomes for children.

Different situations occur naturally every day and this gives children chances to practice self–regulation as and when they need to. When children practice managing and successfully mastering their emotions and behaviour, they are better equipped to cope with situations that may arise. Children learn quickly that if

Naoise Forde (Age 3) The new big beds


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they share toys, play can go on for longer, going to new and exciting places. Children receive feedback from other children and adults about their behaviour all the time and in observing others, they imitate and adjust their own responses and behaviours. Children begin to understand how their bodies are feeling when they are angry, sad, happy, disappointed, or frustrated. We help children to recognise the difference in these feeling states and sensations by supporting and teaching them how to cope with these at different times.

The routine of the day provides lots of opportunities for self-regulation such as: meeting and greeting, energetic play indoors and out, providing down time, long periods of uninterrupted play, supporting children to learn to self-regulate and adapt to new situations. Providing for self-care routines help us to understand how we are feeling if we are tired, hungry or thirsty and how this affects our moods and behaviour. Children need to see the link between their feeling sensations and states. Helping them to do this through our conversations with them is important “I see you are a little tired today, maybe we will have our sleep early?” It is important that our routines are carried out in a way that is special for the child. Routines are important up to a point, but become less important and special if they become a tick list exercise only.

Responsive, reciprocal interactions with children are incredibly important for self-regulation as they provide warmth, affection, security and trust for the child. Children learn that adults will respond quickly if they get into difficulty. Children learn the back and forth in the dance of interaction, how to begin waiting a little, make friends, share toys, control emotions and impulses during play, being mindful of other feelings, independent and successful problem solvers. Early childhood settings naturally create spaces to enable situations to arise that become learning opportunities, helping children navigate their feeling states and emotions. Early childhood educators have such an

important role tuning into children and narrating what is going on around them to support their self-awareness and help manage their emotions, even when the child is struggling, they are learning in that moment. Making comments, for example “Good job waiting for the timer to finish Fíonn, now it’s your turn.” “You are moving a lot today Abby (restless) are you ready to play with something else?” “Sean you seem to really want to climb a lot, why don’t we see what we can

find for climbing?” “Daíthi, (modelling yawning) “You look tired, why don’t we get ready for our nap” “I see you are frustrated that boat keeps sinking Emer, maybe we could think of another way to make it work”. Naming children’s emotions and feeling states in the moment is a very powerful tool in supporting their understanding. By reading cues and gestures, and narrating together with the child, we help to respond sensitively and consistently and this in turns supports self-regulation.

Some children may need additional support to practice these skills; sometimes children have difficulty reading their own body sensations, concentrating on tasks and controlling their impulses. They may need help and support on reading cues on how to recognise all different types of emotions,

both positive and negative. Positive emotions are easy to talk about, but what about children who feel angry, sad, scared, or lonely? We need to help young children understand that feeling all emotions is ok and that feelings should not be hidden. Being responsive towards children, narrating in the moment, and modelling sharing are good ways to support younger children.

For preschool children, providing a range of holistic play opportunities through stories, circle time, prop boxes, social stories, music, movement, and sensory play are some important ways to support self-regulation. A curriculum that facilitates kindness to others teaches children to be compassionate and leads to really wonderful outcomes for everyone.

Max (Age 14) – I’m really missing boxing. It is an outlet for me and I look forward to be being able to practice again soon.


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During this pandemic, children missed their playmates. Adults in their lives done their best, but it’s difficult. They manage playing ball or chasing, board games or even painting but not pretend play. They say, ‘When my little one greets me with a toy to talk to, I just want to scream’. And yet for

children it’s often the most attractive play. They have a compulsion to pretend. Why this difference? As adults, we like structure, predictability and rules. We like to know what to do and what we will produce. We are in doing mode. We can engage if it’s about competition, exercise, making things, teaching but pretend play isn’t like that. It’s all about the process – the involvement, the pleasure, the suspension of reality, the freedom to be in another’s shoes. Children just want to be the dog, the baby, the rescuer or whatever comes to mind today. Pretend play is open-ended, responsive and all about the experience. According to Gopnik, children are in the research phase while adults are in

‘Play with me’Dr. Carmel Brennan

production. Children are trying to figure out what is going on, how to present as powerful and capable and

how to manage rules, relationships, ideas and things.

On a pre-Coronavirus day, Tom came to play. We spent some time playing tabletop foosball, deciding which teams we represent, which heroes play for us, and negotiating rules and fairness. I’m gobsmacked by his knowledge and football terms. He’s just beginning to engage with rule-bound games so we’re on a tricky journey by times. Negotiations can be charged with emotions; watching the wrong team score is hard for everyone, not least adults.

Suddenly he spots a toy steering wheel. ‘Pretend I’m Dad and I’m collecting you from playschool’ he says. With that, he immediately enters the pretend role. Everything changes. He addresses me in gentle, loving tones. ‘Would you like to go to the zoo or the beach?’ he says. I opt for the beach; he decides the zoo. And so, begins the adventure. I’m the scared child, he is the competent, caring and fearless Dad. We see snakes,

Aaron Quinn (Age 8) Memories of his time during the Corona Virus


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kangaroos and giraffes. He assures me there’s no need to be afraid. We are totally immersed. I’m always amazed at how totally transformed he becomes. We move to another room for the tigers. There’s an emergency. A tiger and lion are fighting. He enters and armed with a stick, fights both animals and recaptures them. ‘Was I brave?’ he asks. I assure him I think he’s the bravest Dad in the world. He beams with pride.

The two episodes exemplify many of the reasons why pretence is important to children. In the game of football, they are obvious. I’m impressed by his fast-developing skills. Counting scores, football knowledge and tactics are involved. Skills of manipulation, coordination, predicting, responding and scoring are required. Alertness, attention, self-control and emotional regulation are key; but the motivation to play is huge and the difficulties are masked by the fun and togetherness.

But why play Dad and daughter? For me, it is the most important form of play. This is how children make sense of their experiences and who they are. Switching instantly into pretence is the amazing skill of children. Tom is not just acting; he’s being and living in a different world. I pretend but I don’t lose myself, he does. In this world, children rule, adults follow. Coming to know the human, animal, and material world in all its intricacy is a huge job – it takes time, repetition, practice, and re-experiencing in multiple scenarios. That’s play. Fortunately, Trevarthen reminds us, nature equips babies with a compulsion to playfully explore and master the job; and these drives leap into action in the caring companionship of loved ones. Never again, in life, will they be so well resourced for the work of childhood.

Tom has a baby brother, so very often he wants to be the baby animal, the one that everyone admires, comforts and pleases. Now he wants to be the Dad. I am the little girl, who looks to the Dad for expertise and protection. He experiments with caring, guiding and explaining. He’s the competent, brave and strong Dad. Everything about him changes, his walk, his voice, his language. There is no hesitation or embarrassment.

It’s only pretence, so it’s safe. Gopnik reminds us that imagining differentiates us from other animals and technology. Animals come to know their worlds, computers can be programmed, but only humans can imagine other ways the world can be. We need it to progress our world.

More than anything else, the time we spend playing with children communicates the message that I like being with you. From this, children come to see themselves as enjoyable companions, who belong in family and community, whose ideas and contributions are valued. This is then part of their lifelong identity. It gives them a confidence and ease in the world. The NCCA early childhood framework ‘Aistear’ prioritises this playful learning as the core of curriculum. Everything else can be learned later.

Play with children is hard but we get better with practice. Try to relax and let it happen for an hour whenever you can. Be attentive and authentic for that hour. Make a den, suggest play props, follow their ideas. Reconnect with your inner child. You can’t fail, it’s only pretend…!

The art of play is the art of living http://artsineducation.ie/en/2017/07/27/guest-blogger-carmel-brennan-head-of-practice-early-childhood-ireland-blog-2/

Ralph’s Marvellous Medicine

Grace McLoughlin (Age 11) Diorama


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As a practitioner, I know that wellbeing, in relation to a child’s behavior, comprises of children feeling healthy, secure, happy and content within themselves, and in their environment. These feelings, that are the core elements of wellbeing, enable each child to be an active participant in their

own learning journey, and I am very aware of the importance of self-regulation in this process.

Previous to completing the first Síolta QAP, the setting I work in used the ‘Time Out’ method as a way of enabling a child time to self-reflect and to see how his or her behaviour was not acceptable. The child would be removed from the situation and placed on a chair near their Key Worker for three to four minutes depending on their age. The reason why they were sitting there was explained to them by

Moving from time out to supporting self-regulationKarina Murphy, Fermoy Community Preschool Ltd, Co. Cork

their Key Worker and that they were to think about how they behaved and how did they think the other child/children felt? The child was encouraged to feel empathy, and this would be followed on by supporting the child in his or her apology to the others involved after their ‘Time Out’ was over.

However, since completing the Síolta QAP, I learned that self-regulation in children needed to be a more meaningful process. Therefore, the setting evaluated and reviewed all our existing policies and procedures, and after discussion, we eliminated the ‘Time Out’ chair from our classrooms. Instead the child’s Key Worker will sit with the child in a quiet area and discuss why the behaviour happened, explore how the child feels, and what is their thought process on the situation whenever the child felt ready to do so. From this, the educator can create positive strategies and opportunities with the children to express themselves freely and to enable them to make sound age and developmentally appropriate choices and decisions, thus supporting and enabling self-regulation.

The result is that I am now more aware of the importance of how a child feels and thinks about themselves, and how that impacts on their social and emotional wellbeing. This reflects on how a child copes and reacts to situations, such as conflict resolution and how they can empathise with others. This is enabled and supported fully by encouraging and fostering positive emotional relationships, by encouraging open communication, and by providing children with opportunities to self-reflect and to build resilience. This resilience provides a child with the ability to learn from mistakes and to accept feedback and move forward from it. It is promoted by educators using empathy, patience and consistency. All these elements combined will enable a child to feel empowered by promoting self-awareness, by managing their feelings, and by making responsible decisions based on their emerging social awareness and empathy. They will also develop further relationship skills, and this is something that will stay with them throughout their lives.

Our mission, as early year’s educators, is to build a community of reflective learners who are passionate, caring and responsible contributors in the world they live in. Self-regulation and reflection is crucial to this and we will strive to enable and support this in our setting.Anna & Lauren (Age 6 & 8) planting seeds


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Aistear supports children’s holistic learning and development and one aspect of that is self-regulation, which is the ability to manage our behaviour, emotions, thoughts and attention (Robson, 2016; Elliot and Gonzalez-Mena, 2011). It helps us get along with others and be successful learners.

Aistear’s themes of Identity and Belonging and Well-being are particularly helpful in thinking about supporting young children’s ability to self-regulate. While self-regulation keeps developing as we mature, the first 5 years are particularly important in laying the foundations. The development of self-regulation is closely related to opportunities for problem-solving, creative thinking and making choices and decisions. No surprise, then, to find that play is widely identified as particularly supportive, with pretend and socio-dramatic play being powerful contexts (Whitebread et al., 2009). You can watch a short video by David Whitebread on the Aistear Síolta Practice Guide (ASPG) explaining how play supports children’s development of self-regulation as they create challenges for themselves and develop strategies to solve problems. Aistear’s own guidelines on play talk about its potential for ‘developing skills and abilities, providing opportunities to co-operate, developing friendships, taking turns, resolving conflicts and solving problems …’ (p.56). You will find resources in the ASPG Play pillar

Aistear and self-regulationDr Jacqueline Fallon, National Council for Curriculum & Assessment (NCCA)

to support you in effectively providing for play and achieving its potential.

Play and relationships with others not only support the development of self-regulation but are also where the child gets to practice it. For example, to keep playing together, children need to adapt their behaviour and thinking to get along with others, which is important for forming friendships. Babies need playful partners as they gradually learn ‘to pay attention, concentrate and connect with others’ (Eliot and Gonzalez-Mena, 2011, 29). Identity and Belonging highlights the importance of secure relationships and in videos on the ASPG, Wendy Lee speaks about how adults can help the child manage behaviour and feelings in positive ways in safe and secure relationships. Self-regulation has also been closely associated with successful learning, especially where the children have choice and control in their play. While the research shows that both adult- and child-led play can support self-regulation (Robson, 2016), when the child is in the driving seat, the opportunities for the development of self-regulation are richer. Aistear’s guidelines on interactions demonstrate how adults can provide for a balance between adult- and child-led play. The theme of Well-being is very clear that an important part of the adult’s role is to help each child to ‘… be able to make choices and decisions’. The secure relationships and high-quality play that are central to Aistear and that you provide are just what children need to flourish, and in the process to develop positive self-regulation.

Aistear Síolta Practice Guide ResourcesWendy Lee: https://www.aistearsiolta.ie/en/planning-and-assessing-using-aistears-themes/examples-and-ideas-for-practice/the-power-of-play-in-building-empathy-and-social-competence.htmlWendy Lee: https://www.aistearsiolta.ie/en/planning-and-assessing-using-aistears-themes/examples-and-ideas-for-practice/supporting-positive-behaviours-through-documentation-1-.htmlDavid Whitebread: https://www.aistearsiolta.ie/en/play/examples-and-ideas-for-practice/how-can-play-support-self-regulation-3-6-years-.html

Dylan Gorman - Age 3 - Playing at the Beach in brighter times


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In our book ‘Supporting Positive Behaviour in Early Childhood Settings and Primary Schools’, Noirin Hayes and I reflect upon the key lessons we have drawn from our work and observations in early childhood theory, research and practice over the years. We identify commonalities

across a range of approaches, including the importance of warm, caring relationships, the need for approaches based on agency, reciprocity and respect, and the value of reflective practice. As I, like many of you, try to negotiate the ‘new (ab)normal’ in this coronavirus-dominated reality, balancing competing demands of virtual work as an educator while taking care of a young family, and as I try to imagine a post-COVID world, I find myself reflecting again on relationships, reciprocity and reflective practice.

While different theoretical and curricular perspectives may suggest alternative practical strategies for

ECEC, it may be that it is not the strategies in themselves that are effective, but rather the relationships underlying them. Many theories, like attachment theory (Bowlby, 1969), humanist/student-centred theories (Rogers, 1995), sociocultural theory (Vygotsky, 1978) and bioecological theory (Bronfenbrenner and Morris, 2006), explicitly name the power of relationships to support children’s learning and development. In reality, relationships are complex, messy and multi-faceted, involving not just educator and child alone, but embedded within the contexts, cultures and times in which they develop.

‘Social-distancing’ provides a disconcerting illustration of this; our traditional ways of engaging with children – face-to-face, within encircling embraces, through shared play, through gentle touch – have in many cases been wiped out overnight. While as adults we find virtual ways to connect with our friends, for many children the shut-down meant complete and sudden loss of contact with peers. Early childhood educators provide a significant ‘secondary

attachment’ (Bowlby, 2007) for children and for some, the abrupt closure of ECEC settings may even represent the loss of their only safe spaces. It is not over-dramatisation to say that this is traumatic, for children and for adults; and yet the solution to this trauma may lie in these very relationships. According to the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard (2020), responsive relationships help buffer us against the potentially toxic effects of ongoing stress like that caused by the pandemic. Building such relationships in ECEC settings does not happen of its own accord and maintaining them in these challenging times will not happen without focused effort. Across society and within our sector specifically, we have seen heroic efforts to maintain our

Relationships, reciprocity and reflective practice in challenging timesDr Leah O’Toole, Froebel Department of Primary and Early Childhood Education, Maynooth University

Dylan Gorman - Age 3 - Drawing a picture of playing at the beach, looking forward to brighter days


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human connections; grandparents mastering video-chat to see their grandchildren while they ‘cocoon’, communities playing balcony-bingo, and creative efforts by early childhood educators to keep in touch and support children and families.

One of my wonderful students on the BA in Early Childhood Teaching and Learning in Maynooth University asked me this week, “How can we support positive transitions back to early childhood education?” Perhaps the answer is “who knows??”, considering the unprecedented nature of what is happening, and the lack of clarity about the future, but I suspect that the key lies in the life-defining, life-changing power of nurturing relationships. Recognising the trauma caused by COVID-19 and prioritising relational, safe spaces for children will be far more important than misguided attempts to ‘catch up’ on lost learning. This will be particularly important for children like my little boy who have had their ECCE year suddenly cut short, only to return to their early education in ‘big school’. The fat tears rolling down his 5-year-old cheeks as he realised that he would not be returning to the preschool he loves are not something I’ll soon forget. There is extensive research evidence that preschool-primary school transition can be stressful at the best of times (O’Kane, 2016) and this is not the best of times.

The most effective relationships are reciprocal. Listening to children and the needs they express through behaviours, moods, sleeping and eating patterns, etc will be crucial to supporting them while the crisis persists and in the transition back, requiring strong reflective practice. These are extraordinary times, and we won’t always get it right. Like many educators from early years to third level, I was eager to provide plenty of ‘content’ to support students’ learning online, only to

discover that the support they actually needed was (unsurprisingly) relational, and piles of content just caused stress and distress. We need to be truly open to hearing the needs of those we work with and for, and to reflecting on and changing our practice where necessary.

In thinking about the new beginnings for ECEC that will from the pandemic, as we emerge from the devastation there could be an unique opportunity for positive change. I am not the first commentator to note that we cannot, or should not, go ‘back to normal’ when all this ends. Things that seemed impossible a few short months ago, like early childhood educators’ pay being directly state-funded, are now happening. A new sense of social solidarity has emerged, and COVID-19 has left us under no lingering delusions that what happens to others somehow does not impact us. This pandemic has offered a clear illustration of ties that bind us together as humans - that we are all dependent on each other. Early childhood educators have a profound, crucial impact on children, and realising this can be daunting. However, right now they need you more than ever, and a focus on relationships, reciprocity and reflective practice may be the key to getting it right: as Bronfenbrenner, famously put it, “In short, somebody has to be crazy about that kid” (2005, p. 262).

Luke Quinn (Age 7) Playing during Lockdown


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The Bilberry PathPaul Duffy

‘How long is two months, Dad?’ he asks after the announcement on easing the Covid 19 lockdown restrictions is made. The ins and outs are being discussed on the Saturday morning radio show that we usually have playing as a background to our weekend breakfast. But at four and a handful of months old, he has never paid much attention to the dialogue except when someone says a name that he recognises - ‘Mam, you have a Rachel in your work too’, or a word that sounds like a cartoon title. But now, in the silences between the chat and spoonfuls of scrambled egg, he has been listening. He now knows, without anyone telling him that Covid 19 and the Corona Virus are words for the same thing. And he has just heard someone say that children might be able to see their grandparents in two months’ time.

We put down our mugs and give each other the look – the look of gentle worry mixed with unrestrained admiration common, no doubt, to all parents in lockdown. We think about how to explain two months to him. How to frame it as something he will understand.

The weather, of course, has been our saviour. A tremendous sunlight pouring down on all of the brightly painted planters and the bench the neighbours have come together (keeping apart) to set up at the head of the cul de sac. We keep an eye out and take our slot on the road with his bike as soon as the other kids have been and gone. The first week he got rid of the stabilisers – a huge step and something that would probably, in the normal course of events have taken weeks of chipping away and grazed knees and tears of frustration. The resulting confidence seeming to give him an extra few centimetres. Then his vocabulary seems to have doubled - his spoken register changing (with a few choice missteps from too much time around working Mam and Dad!).

That first week was full of a giddy, incredulous look. Every morning, half-awake and with a fuddled urgency, he would test the new normal with the words ‘are we going to creche today?’ And when we said ‘no, not today,’ a dreamy smile spread across his face as it lowered, eyes already closed, back to the bliss of the pillow. That was before he could remember the words Corona Virus, before he would say it daily, usually framed in the question ‘when will the Cronaviris be gone?’ Or as an answer to the question I would


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counter with again and again:

‘Can we go to the playground today?’; ‘Can we go to Nana and Grandad’s house?’; ‘Can I go into the shop?’.

‘No.’

‘Why not?’

‘You tell me.’

‘Because of the Cronaviris’. And in doing so, maybe I was wrong. I made it part of his day, perhaps introducing more worry than was needed. He doesn’t ask anymore.

The time has been precious in countless ways, many of which will surely only become clear once the lockdown is over. And despite the cycling, the leaps in vocabulary, the maturity he’s been showing in the garden helping out with DIY, handling paint brushes, loppers and hammers and the little pick axe his Grandad got him, with confidence – all has not been a forward trajectory.

Other behaviours have crept in also. Things we had thought had passed and other things we had not previously seen. More outbursts than before and now and again sustained defiant behaviour. Some days there is a little sadness to him and others, as we both work to deadlines in front of our computers, his frustration and boredom cannot be contained with the Lego or the school hub and nothing will do but binge-watching Chip and Potato or My Little Pony. On those days we approach the off button on the TV as if approaching a wasps’ nest with a broom handle. He now sleeps with a worry-stone under his pillow. A smooth, green dished piece of Connemara marble and he knows that if he rubs this magic stone with his thumb, he won’t be thinking about bad guys or germs or of not seeing his family as he lies in his bed waiting for sleep.

Above everything else, we have plunged into nature for a cure. We are very lucky to live in an area surrounded by lakeside walks and woodland. So much so that we have enough choice to rotate between many routes - the one with the horses, the one with the heron, the one with the castle, the one with the bridge, the oakwood, the secret valley, the river bank... The more we are out rambling, running, cycling, exploring, the less time or energy there is for the other behaviour.

In the out of doors during this time of waking and abundance, we have seen things we never expected. A woodpecker drumming in the valley. A red kite ushered away on the up draught over our house by a riot of


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rooks and jackdaws. Red squirrels in the Scots Pine. Pheasant in the ditches and, most recently, the house martins back to our eaves, repairing last year’s nest with their spit balls of mud, getting all ready for the clutch of eggs.

‘All the way from Africa,’ I tell him, flying high over all of the other countries, flying back to Ireland over the sea and coming to find us at the end of the terrace to set up their home right outside your window.’ We follow their route on Google Earth to make the world a bit bigger.

In the oakwood on the hill, a quiet, greenlit place covered with an understory made up almost entirely of thigh-high bilberry, we stop and examine the globular pink flowers. They hang like frosted glass lanterns beneath the tightly bunched leaves. He knows them well. He knows they will, with time give way to bilberries – blueberries he calls them, or fraocháin when we are trying to keep the Irish going. He knows that we will be in amongst them in July or August picking hundreds of the tart tasting purple spheres, him leading the way, pushing on ‘here Dad – over here. Look at the size of this one! Look how many are on this bush.’

He runs on ahead, stopping now and again to pick up the husk of a beech nut or to look at a slug

or to point out a bird or some hanging lichen, telling me all about them from his books, or asking questions difficult to answer. And I know, even as we live the moments, him looking back with the light of discovery radiating from his face, that each line is being engraved on a glass slide in my memory – things I will pull out years from now with immeasurable care and look at from a great distance, something indescribably precious.

He licks his lips and rubs his belly theatrically.

‘I can’t wait to eat all of these berries,’ he says before running on again. He understands that we need to wait. That the berries will grow and that it will be worth it. ‘Come on Dad.’ He calls and I jog on behind. ‘When will the berries be ready?’ he asks.

‘In about two months,’ I say without thinking. He stops in his tracks and turns around.

‘In two months the Cronaviris will be gone,’ he says, his excitement huge – too big for his small frame. It shoots out of him as wild movements of his hands. ‘You know what,’ he says, ‘In two months, we can bring everyone here to pick berries.’

‘Great idea,’ I say, and all I can do is throw my arms around him.


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Thank you to the children who have shared examples of the artwork they created during the period of lockdown


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“What is Self-Regulation? What is Self-Reg?”

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Transcript of “What is Self-Regulation? What is Self-Reg?”