What is Love?
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Transcript of What is Love?
What is Love?Baby don’t hurt me …
Hello My Babies I miss you. I’m sorry I’m away today. I will be
back tomorrow. You will find instructions on the next slide. If you have questions, you can email me or get Izzet to text me.
Make sure you do this assignment first. If you have time afterward, you can do your personal ad from last class (see the Relationships Power Point for instructions). You can put a picture of yourself on it if you’d like too to make it like a real personal ad.
INSTRUCTIONS: Follow the PowerPoint and Answer the
questions from the WORD document. You can print it out and write out the
answers by hand our you can type them out.
When you are done either give them to the teacher or email them to me [email protected].
Loving and Liking Love is essential for human survival. Self love is an important basis for self-
esteem. Eight qualities of friendship include:
› Enjoyment› Acceptance› Trust› Respect› Mutual support› Confiding› Understanding› Honesty
Loving and Liking Love includes the eight qualities of
friendship plus:› Sexual desire› Priority over other relationships› Caring to the point of great self-
sacrifice
What is Love? Love is multifaceted and has many
dimensions. Love is based on respect. Love is often demanding and may be
neither exciting nor thrilling. Rules of attraction are governed from
an early age by socialization.
Functions of Love and Loving
Love ensures human survival. Love prolongs life. Love enhances physical health. Love improves the quality of our lives. Love is fun.
A Global View Evidence of romantic love has been
found in 89% of 166 different cultures, which makes it a “near-universal” human phenomenon.
In many countries, arranged marriages are the norm because respect for parents’ wishes, family traditions, and kin group are more important than romantic love.
How Couples Change: Romantic and Long-term Love
Characteristics of romantic love include:› Lovers find it impossible to work, study, or do
anything but think about the beloved.› Their moods fluctuate wildly.› They find it impossible to believe they could ever
love again.› They fantasize about how their partners will
declare their love.› They are willing to sacrifice anything for love.› Their love is “blind” and they idealize each other.› They believe in love at first sight, and in fate.
How Couples Change: Romantic and Long Term Love
Characteristics of long lasting love include:› Lasting love is more complicated than romantic
love.› Long term love is altruistic (putting the other first).› Love changes over time.› Long term love grows and develops, whereas
romantic love is immature.› Companionate love is more common in long term
relationships.› Demographic variables play a role in sustaining
love.
Romantic and Long Term Love
Love vs. Infatuation
- “Love at first sight” is not love.
- Infatuation: a passion not based on reason; being in love with love.
Love vs. Infatuation Grows slowly Long lasting Trust More realistic More thoughtful
Happens quickly Short-lived Physical thrills Jealousy Rush to marry
Theories about LoveBiological and Sociological
Theories about Love Biological perspectives argue that love
is grounded in evolution, biology, and chemistry. The focus is on physiological responses caused by natural amphetamines in the body.
WATCH THE VIDEO but PUT IN HEAD PHONES if you have them.
Helen Fischer - Love and the Brain Sociological perspectives claim that
culture is key to love.
Theories about Love Sociological theories include:
› Attachment theory› Reiss’s Wheel Theory of Love› Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love› Lee’s Styles of Loving› Exchange theory
Theories about Love Attachment theory
› suggests our primary motivation is to be connected with other people.
› Researchers have identified three attachment styles and the percent who fit them: secure - easy to get close to others and
comfortable in interdependent relationships (56%)
avoidant - somewhat uncomfortable being close to others (24%)
anxious/ambivalent - others are reluctant to get as close as s/he would like (20%)
Wheel Theory of LoveFour stages of love Rapport - rests on mutual trust and
respect Self-revelation - sharing intimate
information Mutual dependency - developing
interdependence Personality need fulfillment -
developing emotional exchange and support
Reiss’s Wheel Theory of the Development of Love
Theories about Love Sternberg’s
Triangular Theory of Love has three elements.› Intimacy› Passion› Decision/
commitment Different degrees of
the three elements form different types of love relationships.
Triarchic Model of Love
Three aspects of love (Sternberg, 1986):Intimacy: Closeness two people feel psychologically, how well partners understand each other.Passion: The amount of physical/sexual attraction and romance.Commitment: The cognitive factors such as the decision to maintain the relationship.
Theories about Love Lee’s Styles of Loving
› Eros is the love of beauty and usually encompasses a powerful physical attraction.
› Mania is obsessive love characterized by jealousy, possessiveness and dependency.
› Ludus is carefree and casual love that is playful.› Storge is peaceful, affectionate love that focuses
on mutual trust and respect.› Agape is altruistic love which is self-sacrificing,
kind and patient.› Pragma is practical love which is sensible and
realistic.
Theories about Love Exchange theory
› focuses on the costs and rewards to each person in a relationship.
› is useful for explaining how love relationships change over time. adolescence: Love is usually intense and
self-centered, romantic love is short-lived adulthood: perception of costs and rewards
change, for example, nurturing and patience may outweigh looks
later life: moral values, personality, and good humor may take precedence
Ladder of Love Mature love for
others Love for children Love for the
opposite (or same) sex
Love for someone the same sex, older
Love for same sex friend
Love of peers Love of other
relatives Love for secondary
caregiver / entertainer
Love of Nurturer Self-love
Love for humankind, very unselfish love.
Unselfish love with ability to love without expecting anything in return.
B egins with interest in the others and continues throughout life.
Role model and exemplified what you wanted to become.
Close friend of the same age and sex.
Other children of same age. Love of a relative which brought a
special sense of security. This person met your needs and
cared for you. Who kept you happy Your primary caregiver. Until you love yourself, you cannot
truly love another.
Types of Love Romantic Love
› Puppy Love Sexual Love
› The intimate expression of love.
Pragmatic Love› A rational, reasoning kind of
love. Platonic Love
› The spiritual and intellectual relationship between a man and a woman.
Companionship Love› A love typically found
in good friendships. Altruistic Love
› Selfless love or concern for the spouse.
Manic Love› A crazy, possessive,
jealous kind of love. Self-Love
› An egotistic, narcissistic kind of love.
Lust and Love Lust and Love
› Sexual arousal is a physiological response.
› Sexual desire is a psychological state.
› Sexual desire and/or arousal may or may not lead to romantic love.