What is friendship?Friendshipis a relationship of mutualaffectionbetween two or more people.[1]Friendship is a stronger form ofinterpersonal bondthan an association. Friendship has been studied in academic fields such associology,social psychology,anthropology, andphilosophy. Various academic theories of friendship have been proposed, includingsocial exchange theory,equity theory,relational dialectics, andattachment styles. A World Happiness Database study found that people with close friendships are happier.[2]Although there are many forms of friendship, some of which may vary from place to place, certain characteristics are present in many types of friendship. Such characteristics include affection,sympathy,empathy,honesty,altruism, mutualunderstandingandcompassion, enjoyment of each other's company,trust, and the ability to be oneself, express one's feelings, and make mistakes without fear of judgment from the friend.While there is no practical limit on what types of people can form a friendship, friends tend to share common backgrounds, occupations, or interests, and have similardemographics.

Friendship is a type of relationship between two people who care about each other. But such a dry definition doesn't do the concept of friendship justice. Consider these examples: A friend is the first person you want to call when you hear good news. A friend remembers that you don't like pickles on your sandwich. A friend will accompany you on the most boring of errands and make them seem fun.In other words, friendship is wonderful, and much ink has been spilled in citing the virtues of having friends. That's not to say friendship is easy, though. It demands time and effort, and it requires that people put someone other than themselves first sometimes. But in exchange for that work, a friend can provide an immense amount of support and comfort in good times and in bad.

Friendship is the most wonderful relationship that anyone can have. Ideally a friend is a person who offers love and respect and will never leave or betray us. Friends can tell harsh truths when they must be told. There are four different types of friends: True friends, Convenient friends, Special interest friends, and historical friends. To havefriendshipis to have comfort. In times of crisis and depression, a friend is there to calm us and to help lift up our spirits.Kind of friends,1.True frienda true friend issomeone who will stand by you, no matter what. Someone who keeps your secrets. Someone who knows you so better than you know yourself.A true friend is someone who has touched your heart and will stay there. Someone you care for, who cares for you. Someone you can do the stupidest things around and always be forgiven. Someone you'll instantly remember in ten years because they are in your heart and not just your mind. They have the ability to change you, even if they don't. They will be etched in your memories forever.A True Friend not only likes to hang out with you andpartyand have good times, but thinks about you when you're apart andwishesgood things for you. A True Friend may not talk to you every day or even every week, but cancatch upin a matter of minutes. A True Friend will come to youraid, even when you haven't talked to them in weeks. Time doesn't lessen a True Friend'saffinityfor you. True Friends also are mosthonestwith you, rather thanshining you on.2. convenience friendA person who is only around when it is easy and convenient for them. They are the people who, if not placed around us, (ex. dorm rooms), all the time, they wouldn't really be friends. They are usually used to do things for you, if you need a ride to and from school, etc. They are basically friends who need you around when they need a favor, or when they are just so bored out of their minds that they would rather hang out with you than sit around all day, but they'd never put you first.

How to be a good friendIf you want to do all or many of the things listed above for someone you care about, youre already a good friend. Its also common though, to not know exactly what to do or say to be there for someone. Some practical things you can do to be there for a friend include:Listen.Listening is so important not to underestimate, but it can be hard to do. The best way to listen is to try and understand the situation from your friends point of view. If you aim to do this, youll naturally find yourself beginning to ask the right sort of questions and they will appreciate having someone who really cares about how they feel and what theyre going through. You dont have to have all the answers, and you shouldnt assume your friend wants advice they might just want to talk so that they can work out what theyre going to do themselves.Ask them what they need.If youre worried about someone and you want to be there for them, just ask them what they need- that way you know what they find helpful during tough times, and you can be there in a way thats most useful to them.Get physical.Smiles and hugs are a great way to show friends that theyre not alone, that youre there for them, and that they are important.Keep in touch.Even if you guys arent nearby each other, making an effort to keep in touch through facebook, emails, texts and calls will show your friend you are there for them.Tell them how you feel.You dont have to make a big deal of it all the time but sometimes there are moments where letting someone know that theyre important to you through something you say, can make a big difference to how someone is feeling.Get the facts.If your friend has a medical condition, or a mental health issue, a good way to offer support is to learn about what theyve been diagnosed with. Taking an interest in what theyre going through shows that you care, and that youre planning to stick around no matter whats going on.Be willing to make a tough call.If you think the safety of your friend is at risk, you might need to act without their consent and get help (see the sidebar for where you can seek help). It can be a hard choice particularly when youre worried about their reaction, but remember that you are acting because you care and you dont want them to be hurt. Make sure theyre okay the moment you sense something wrong.Its easy to go overboard, but when tactful it can mean the world to them when you show youre concerned. Send them a text, a phone call (even better,) or surprise them by showing up at their front door. Make an excuse to spend time with them. This doesnt mean you have to shove advice down their throat. It just means showing you want them to be okay.Unfortunately, theres no universal method to being caring without being too pushy. Instead, youve got to figure out what works best and adjust as needed.Some people are very good at hiding their negative emotions. Hopefully youve learned when theyre wearing a mask. Masks get heavy when you wear them for so long and sometimes you forget how to take it off. I used to put on a brave face when I was going through rough times. It sucked but having good friends around who knew when I wasnt really okay helped a lot. Know when to be serious and when to be goofy.When its time to be serious, you get down to business. No goofing off. No cheap attempt at being funny to avoid the real issues. You may argue from time to time and thats alright. Its natural. Be mature and aim at finding common ground instead of trying to divert the attention elsewhere.There are times to be messing around, but it gets tiring for others if you dont know how or when to turn it off. If you cant then how can others trust you enough to share important things with you? Go the extra mile when they ask for help.When they ask for your opinion or help on something that means something. It means they value what you think. If someone hands you an essay asking for you to help proofread or revise it then go the extra mile. Bust out a red pen and start marking it up like crazy. Show them youre as invested as they are.This means never half-ass things when it comes to your friends. These are your friends were talking about here. Its a committed relationship and it sucks when the other person doesnt put in effort to help when needed. Dont give up on them during their darkest hours.Going hand in hand with the first point, you dont give up. If theyre going through really difficult times then they may begin to close themselves off from you and your other friends. Theyd say no to going out and hide from the world. This annoys some people and eventually they give up, but good friends keep trying.Sure, it sucks to be the one trying to pull a friend out of rough times and it does get difficult to not throw my hands up in the air with frustration, but damn it, I know theyre not going to be able to get out on their own. Make them feel wanted.This means you listen to everything they say intently. You show you like being around them. Hell, sometimes even say it outright. Youre an awesome friend, Its not as fun when youre not there, or I like hanging out with you, you know? You should be comfortable enough together to be blunt about it without feeling weird.Insecurity kicks in even when it shouldnt. It doesnt take a lot to show you care and re-assure them from time to time. Tell them, Ive always got your back, at least once (and mean it.)Remind them that youre friends for life by making sure they know youll always be there. This means keeping in touch or being there to cheer them up when theyve got it rough.If youve never told your closest friends this then make sure you do next time your friends tell you about a problem theyre hung up on. Understand and respect boundaries.Know that you dont have to be together 24/7.I need my space to recharge and I dont always feel like hanging out with others. That doesnt mean I dont like them. Good friends arent pushy and dont get upset because of an occasional no. In fact, good friends know how to pick up right where they left off no matter how long its been since they last saw each other. Be honest and constructive when needed.Theres a difference between being conscious of their feelings and letting them ruin themselves in the long-run. If theyve developed a bad habit then kindly point it out and show youre concerned. Theyre picking up smoking? You care about their lungs. Drinking too much? Let them know youve noticed.For less serious examples, imagine their breath smells and theyre going on a date. Do you want them to crash and burn later or would you rather let them suffer an ego hit, fix their act, and get out there in full confidence? If you feel like criticisms are harsh, offer them tips on how to improve. Introduce them to others.Your social circle might be tightly knit, but theres always room for expansion. Introduce them to people they dont know just to show youre not afraid of being seen with them. Remember, you want to be proud of being in public with them.Its up to them to decide if they want to start hanging out with these new people in the long-run. In fact, it doesnt even matter if they do. Fun is what youre aiming for here. Jump to the rescue when asked.We all get in unexpected trouble and its good to know people who would jump to your rescue. My cars battery died in a parking lot at 3 in the morning last month. I called people I knew would come to my aid because they were the type to help. Guess who I didnt bother calling? Those who I knew would have an excuse. Dont bring up uncomfortable subjects they dislike.This doesnt mean avoiding subjects that are important and possibly life-changing. Im talking about bringing up things that serve no constructive purpose but to annoy them or to just fill the silence. Which brings me to my next point Be okay with gaps in conversation.Silent gaps will naturally occur in a conversation. Be comfortable with them. Dont feel like you absolutely have to fill every single second with a sentence. Its okay to be comfortable and just enjoy each others company.Especially as an introvert, I need time to recharge after spending time with a lot of people. I really enjoy my time, but I need to recharge my batteries on occasion. With that in mind, learn the realdifferences between introverts and extroverts.You may have the wrong idea. Be dependable (punctuality and keeping promises.)When you say youll do something, be a person that sticks to your word. That means being punctual, not going back on your promises, and ensuring that youre viewed as a reliable friend.Being unreliable will make your friends think twice before asking you for something. Learn how to apologize.It takes a lot to admit you did something wrong. Dont be afraid of admitting to your friends that you messed up. It happens to the best of us. Someone who can swallow his or her pride and admit theyre in the wrong is a great friend.Dont know how to apologize? Check outthis article,courtesy of The Art of Manliness. Know how to show youre happy for them.We all get too caught up in our own lives and forget how to show appreciation. Sure,weknow we care, but its difficult for the other person to know you do if you dont show it.Its easy to tell when someone is dishonest. Wow, Im so happy for you, with an non-eager face isnt very convincing. Be invested in their successes and show in your facial expressions that you really are happy. Show small gestures on occasion.It can be as simple as buying them something you thought they might like. Id be thrilled if a friend of mine bought me a Sonic Screwdriver fromDoctor Who.That would tell me a lot of things. First, I know they remember what I enjoy. Second, they were thinking of me. Third, they spent their hard-earned cash to let me know they like me. Awesome feeling. Start saying yes more often to your friends and make time for them.Its not a good feeling to be turned down by your friends. Sometimes life gets in the way and thats okay. After all, remember the point about boundaries. However, I know how easy it is to say no. It becomes habitual. Its just so easy when youre not feeling it. Make it a point to say yes more often to your friends when you can.Youre not that busy. Unless youre absolutely certain there is no possibility of making room for your friends, you have no reason to have no time for your friends. Its easy to convince yourself youre too busy. Dont buy into your own stories. Always make time for them because its easy to drift apart. Keep in touch and make sure you dont drift apart.Life goes on and everyone has their own thing to do. Sure, picking up where you left off may be easy for you, but its just as easy to completely lose contact. It takes effort, especially when theres a lot of physical distance, to maintain a good friendship. Its a relationship that takes both sides to work.How to choose a friendThink you don't get to just choose who you'refriendswith? Absolutely not. You get just as much say who your friends are as they do. Making friends is one thing, but choosing who your friends are is incredibly important, because your friends are your guides in life as well as the people who help define who you are. In some ways, they are family. There are some friends who are closer to you than others, but who you choose to share important parts of your life with matters.Choose a Friend Who is HonestAfriend that is honestis one of the best friends you can have.Trust and honestyare cornerstones in any relationship. Choosing a friend who can tell you how it is will be something you'll appreciate greatly (albeit, you may not always appreciate it in that particular moment, you'll look back on it and appreciate it later...really). An honest friend will keep you from walking out of the house wearing that awful green shirt or tell you that the girl you're going to ask out isn't interested. They're supportive in their honesty, and you should choose someone you know will not lie.Choose a Friend Who Gets Your Quirks, Oddities, and Weird Sense of HumorFriends need to laugh together. We like our good times in life, and sometimes the best times come from our own odd character traits. Choose a friend who gets those quirks and can laugh with you rather than at you. After all, if you choose a friend who gets your odd sense of humor, it's likely they have one, too. Look for someone who will laugh with you at a look or a glance. Those people will be some of your best friends. They don't put you down for the things that make you different, they embrace them!Choose a Friend Who Stands By You in the Tough TimesIt's so easy for us to be good friends in the fun times. There's all kinds of laughter and joyful moments, and those times make relationships easy. But who are the people who stand by you when times turn tough? Those are your true friends. Those are the people that get that life doesn't always go the way we plan. It's much harder to stand by someone that's having a tough time, so choosing a friend that is strong enough to be the shoulder to cry on or hold your hand when it's needed is a wise choice.Choose a Friend Who Gives as Much as They TakeWe've all had friends that only want things from us, but they never seem willing to give to us when we need it. Relationships involve compromise. Sometimes you're going to do what your friend wants to do, even though it's not quite your thing, and sometime she or she is going to do what you want to do, even though it's not quite their thing. When a relationship is one-sided, we just end up feeling resentful and angry. It's not healthy. Choose a friend with whom you feel a balance of give and take.Choose a Friend Who Gets Your Faith is ImportantYour faith is important to you, so why choose a friend who puts it down at every chance they get? If your friends are pulling you away from God, are they really your friends? Not likely. A true friend, whether they believe what you do or not, will support your choice to be a Christian. It tends to be why Christians often choose otherChristian friends, because they want to be with people that help them stay on a Christian path.Choose a Friend Who Likes the Things You DoWhile friendship is full of compromise, it helps if you choose friends who share in a lot of your interests. It gives you things to talk about or share. It makes deciding on stuff to do easier. You don't have to choose a friend who likes every single little thing you do, but you should have some shared interests.

The effect of friend1. Friendfluence affects you in more ways than you realize.Flora made up the word "friendfluence" to capture the effect that friends have on our lives: Friendfluence is the powerful and often unappreciated role that friendspast and presentplay in determining our sense of self and the direction of our lives (p. 6). Whether you realize it or not, your friends have shaped who you are today. You are even the product of the friends who are no longer your friends.2. Friends can give you vital life skills. Friendfluence gives you vital life skills; the very abilities one generally needs to be successful in life (p. 6). There are many perks of friendship include sharpening your mind, making you generally happier, knowing yourself better, becoming inspired to reach yourgoals, advancing yourcareer, helping you meet romantic partners, and living a longer and healthier life.3. Childhoodfriendships start your learning process.Early friendships play a vital role because they occur while key developmental changes are taking place. They help teach us some of those important life skills but also shape our life narrative. Flora advocates forparentsand teachers to give kids unstructured time to work out their own social relationships rather than to over-program them into restrictive activities.4. Teen friendships shape your later romantic bonds.Though parents spend much of their time worrying about who their teenage kids are with, these relationships are a training ground for the later long-term bonds that will evolve through adulthood. Flora advises parents to recognize that peers will trump them every time, and so instead of fighting with your kids about spending too much time with their friends, or who their friends are, you can help your children more by inviting their friends over to your home.5. Friends can help you define your priorities.People tend to pick friends who are similar to them. This fact falls under the general proximity rule of close relationships, in that like tends to attract like. Because we fall prey so easily into this similarity trap, it is important to try to stretch yourself to learn from some of those opposites. Flora points out the many ways in which Birds, feather, flock. Knowing this can help you grow by expanding your range of friends and trying out some new points of view.6. Having friends can help you get more friends.People tend to like others who have a reputation for being nice and helpful, and they like people who like them. If you want to be the type of person who attracts new friends, these qualities will help get you on your way toward building your social group. Once you have more friends, youll be able to enjoy some of those perks of friendship.7. Close friends support you through thick and thin. To take the most advantage of friendfluence, put effort into your closest friendships. Although being friendly can get you more friends, you dont need hundreds to help you through life. You may have toprune your friendship treeas you get older to be sure that you give enough attention to the ones who will really matter for your well-being.8. Friends can make you miserable too.There is a dark side to friendship. The people who know you the best are also the ones who have the most power to betray you, should the relationship sour. Friends can also get you into trouble. If your friends are doing something bad or harmful, you tend to be more likely to do so as well, a fact to which many drinking buddies can certainly attest. Friends can also cause youstresswhen they get in the way of other important goals or relationships. Be ready to say no to friends who disappoint, betray, or stress you and youll be more likely to get the full friendfluence effect.9. Youre less lonely when you have friends.The worst kind of friendfluence, according to Flora, is a complete lack of friends.Lonelinessis painful, especially when you are living with loneliness for a prolonged period of time. This is yet another reason to put time, energy, and attention into finding and cultivating a close circle of friends.10. Your online friends can steer your thoughts and behaviors.Although online friends are qualitatively different than your in-person friends, they shape you nevertheless. They can also be your source of life support. Flora shows us how Toni Bernhard, author ofHow to be Sick(link is external), and confined to her home, has maintained a lifeline to the outside world through her closest online friends. Of course, your online friends can also make you miserable too, especially if you get caught in the friendship paradox (the fact that most people onFacebookhave fewer friends than the average number). If you can avoid havingFacebook envydominate your life, youll have more rewarding connections with your extended friendship community. 11. Friends matter to you, regardless ofgender.Although much is made of the difference between male friends, female friends, and male-female friend pairs, all share the qualities of having the potential to influence your life. If you restrict yourself to one certain type of friendship, you may be missing out on bonds that transcend gender boundaries.12. Couple friendships can help your own relationship.People experiencing similar life events can often provide the most valuable support to each other. Unfortunately, some couples withdraw from their friendships when their relationship turns serious. You can benefit both from maintaining your separate friendships, but also from sharing with the couples who are experiencing transitions such as becoming parents, raisingteenagers, and helping older family members. Friends can also help you alleviate your work-related stress. Even though you may be stretched to the limit time-wise, the investment you make in these friendships will be worth the psychological benefits.13. Friends can give you a reality check.Who but your closest friends will tell you that your new outfit is ridiculously garish? What person you meet on the street will let you know that your latest romantic interest is going to bring you heartbreak? Because friends know us so well, they are able to see things that we cant, and arent afraid to share their dose of reality with you. Of course, as we saw earlier, friends can also make you miserable. However, the ones who care about you have a perspective on your behavior that no one else can completely see. As Flora points out: friends are better at describing our behavioral traits than we are (p. 132). Incidentally, this is one reason whypersonalityresearchers ask for other reports to compare to the self-ratings that participants themselves provide. These other reports can come closer to the mark, especially for individuals whose personalities ironically make it hard for them to see themselves in a realistic light.14. Banding together with friends can help you effect social change.Its difficult, if not impossible, to fight for a cause, raise money for charity, or even just make a few small improvements in your community on your own. Friends are the first step, Flora points out, to building successful social movements. Facebook provides one way to enlist the support of thousands of people. At a less grandiose level, people are more likely to engage in helping andaltruisticbehavior at the urging of their close friends.15. Being a friend helps your friends.Friendfluence works in two directions. Not only do you benefit from its many perks, but by being a good friend you are helping those closest to you. Being a friend is a great honor and responsibility, so treat your friends carefully (p. 235). If you are aware of how youre affecting your friends, youll work harder to stay close to them which, in turn, will benefit you as well. Being a good friend also includes asking them for help when you need it. Giving someone the gift of being influential can be one of the greatest joys you pass on to your friends.