What Is Effective Business Writing?

Sense of Audience: Anticipates reader’s needs

Right Tone: Is even-tempered

Informative Content: Has substance – says something

Movement: Goes somewhere and has a sense of order

Helpful Format: Looks good on the page, is easy to read, scan, and retrieve information from

Effective Business Writing (Continued)

Detail: Uses concrete, selective, precise words

Voice: Sounds like one human being talking to another

Originality: Says something new or something old in a new way

Rhythm: Sounds effortless, natural

Goods Mechanics: Observes conventions of spelling, punctuation, and usage; uses enlightened control by knowingly and occasionally bending the rules

Book: p. 7-11

Three Step Approach to Effective Business Writing

1. Determine objective and get ideas on Paper• Brainstorming/mind mapping

• Writing “Zero Draft”

2. Organize effectively• “Bottom-lining”

• Logically support bottom-line

3. Edit ruthlessly• Editing for Style

• Editing for Tone

• Editing for Grammar

Getting Started

Step 1: Getting Your Thoughts on Paper

Don’t worry about it, just get it on paper• Good writing is rewriting

Determine Your Objective

What is your purpose? Who will read it? What do you want to say?

Getting Your Thoughts on Paper

Brainstorming Mind mapping Loose outline (be flexible)

Mind Map

“Zero Draft”

Deadline writing• Time limit

• Bogus first sentence• “What I’m trying to say is that…”

• I’m writing to persuade you to…”

• *Let new ideas come out in the process• Don’t worry about order or brevity

Book: p.221Book: p.221

Step 2: Organizing Your Message

“Bottom-lining”• Summarize your major point or points at the

outset

–“If you have something important to say–please–start at the end.”

Journalism’s Inverted Pyramid

Present most important information early,

Then spend the rest of the time

supporting

It.

Common “Bottom Lines”

Summarize:

• The department agreed to allocate an additional $50,000 to the new project and to meet vendors who can support the 3Q due date. Here are the details of the meeting.

Move a reader to action:

• My visit on June 28 to the San Diego market revealed back-order problems needing your immediate response.

Announce Policy:

• To Accommodate those of you on flextime, the cafeteria will now be open from 6 A.M. to 3 P.M.

In Summary:

A bottom-line statement summarizes the main points of the message to get it out as clearly and quickly as possible

It may explain the action you advise taking

Or what action/response you hope the reader will take

• Bottom-line statements never tell the purpose of the communication

Purpose Statements VS. Bottom-line

“The following are comments heard from retailers and consumers, and my observations of industry and competitive performance.”

“The following is a summary of my recent market visit.”

Purpose Statements (Continued)

“This represents a response to your letter regarding the expansion of our promotion in Sacramento.”

“This report will recommend the action we should take against the competition.”

“John, this is a recap of the sales meeting on 4 April.”

Omit the first line for a more powerful opening statement

The enclosed data compare our status against the competition. Through the week of 28 June we have lost share in retail sales while our three major competitors have gained. A close look at the data will show our downward slide.

Enclosed please find attached Draft #3 of our Chug-a-lug™ National Relaunch Implementation Manual. We need your help to ensure that the information in the attached draft is one hundred percent accurate and up to date.

To write a strong bottom-line, ask yourself:

• “What is the most important point I need to make?”

Book: p. 26-27, Book: exercise: p. 35

Review: Getting Started/Organizing

Step 1• Determine your objective

• Determine reader’s needs

• Get thoughts on paper• Brainstorming/mind-mapping• “Zero Draft”

Step 2• Organizing your message

• Bottom-line statement instead of purpose statement• Journalism’s inverted pyramid

• Bottom-line followed by Who, What, Why.

Book: p. 225-227

Step 3: Editing for Style, Tone, and Grammar

What is Business Style?

“Basically to be, or, not to be, that, undoubtedly, is actually the vital question one has to consider for certain.”

Sentence Clutter vs. Brevity

Omit each and every single word for which you do not have a use.

or

Omit useless words.

1. Eliminate Heavy Sentence Starters

Sentences that begin with “It ”• Much of the clutter hangs in front of the sentence in

common phrases that begin with it

• It should be noted that my budget for next year is a 22 percent decrease from…

• It was found that the observed increase in sales was due to…

*Helpful in first draft. Should be edited out later

More Examples

It is worthy of note… It must be remembered that… It has come to my attention that… It is important to note… It is imperative that…

Eliminate Heavy Sentence Starters

Sentences that begin with “there ”• Much of the clutter hangs in front of the sentence in

common phrases that begin with there

• There were eight divisions that underwent audit.

• There are two options available for us to consider.

Eliminate Heavy Sentence Starters

Other sentence starters

• Enclosed please find…

• Please be advised that…

• As you are aware…

• Attached please find…

*All possibly helpful in first draft. Should be edited out later

Book p. 86-92, exercises p. 91-92

2. Eliminate Wordy Sentence Midsections

“Who”, “which”, and “that”• When edited from sentence midsections many other

lazy words go with them

• Wordy: John Jameson is a manager who is held in high regard by the chairman of the board.

• Revised: John Jameson is a manager highly regarded by the chairman of the board.

*Helpful in first draft. Should be edited out later

More Examples with “Who”

• Wordy: Karen Strong is the type of a woman who always arrives on time.

• Revised: Karen Strong always arrives on time.

• Wordy: Fred Jones, who is our choice for the position, arrives on Friday.

• Revised: Fred Jones, our choice for the position, arrives on Friday.

Examples with “Which”

• Wordy: Old Navy, which is a subsidiary of Gap Inc., handles its own marketing.

• Revised: Old Navy, a Gap Inc. subsidiary, handles its own marketing.

• Wordy: An e-mail, which is an electronic piece of business writing less formal than a business letter, serves to speed communication.

• Revised: E-mail, less formal than a business letter, speeds communication.

Examples with “That”

• Wordy: All I can say is that he admitted to being late three times last week.

• Revised: He admitted to being late three times last week.

• Wordy: ....agreed to write all advertising that will go into the program.

• Revised: ....agreed to write all program advertising.

Book p. 94-96, exercise p.96

3. Omit Overloaded Nouns

Avoid using nouns as adjectives and piling them up in front of one another

• Her job involves fault analysis systems troubleshooting manual preparation.

vs.

• Her job involves preparing manuals to help troubleshoot fault-analysis systems.

Stan is an integrated third-generation software engineer.

vs.

Stan, develops integrated third-generation software.

More Examples

Global Positioning Interface Module Communications Processor Hardware Design Specification

vs.

Global Positioning Interface Module: The Hardware Design Specification for the Communications Processor

Book: Systematic Buzz-Phrase Projector p.98

4. Get Rid of Lifeless Verbs

Reduce lifeless verbs which add wordiness• Be• Make• Have• Go• Get• Come

• Wordy: According to a recent poll it was revealed...

vs.

• Improved: a recent poll revealed...

More Examples

• Wordy: The manager will make a decision next week.

• Improved: The manager will decide next week.

• Wordy: I have a suspicion that the VP will resign.

• Improved : I suspect that the VP will resign.

• Wordy: The product manager will go to meet the marketing consultant next Tuesday.

• Improved : The product manager will meet the marketing consultant next Tuesday.

More Examples

• Wordy: The Sales Rep of the Year will get to have a meeting with the CEO.

• Improved: The sales Rep of the Year will have a meeting with the CEO.

• Wordy: The division manager came to the conclusion the incentive would work.

• Improved : The division manager concluded the incentive would work.

Book: p.101

5. Delete Dull Intensifiers Dull intensifiers may weaken rather than intensify

business writing

• These words basically add very little to really distinguish your writing from other rather poor examples. If you cannot utterly reject these words before they hit paper, strike them out as you revise. Instead of somewhat intensifying your meaning, these words sort of bloat your sentences, probably diluting the essence of the word that follows each intensifier.

Dull Intensifiers

• Very

• More

• Rather

• Really

• Utterly

• Somewhat

• Mostly

• Totally

• Extremely

• Slightly

• Basically

• Probably

• Sort of/kind of

• Quite

Basically, taxes are figured in the same manner.

The manager was really concerned when John was so extremely late this morning.

Dull Intensifiers (continued)

Often intensifiers are used as a substitute for using the “right word”.

Try removing the intensifier to see if the word can stand on its own. If not turn to a thesaurus.

• Very hard = Strenuous, difficult

• Very loud = Thunderous, deafening, emphatic

Book: p.109

6. Eliminate Prepositional Fillers

Look for prepositions and the phrases they’re attached to and eliminate them if possible

• Prepositions: with, on, under, over, by, in, at, near, etc.

• …a copy of your check in the amount of $338.00.

vs.

• …a copy of your check for $338.00

Eliminate Prepositional Fillers (Continued)

Too Many Words

• …on an annual basis

• in the course of

• for the purpose of

• in many cases

Improved

• annually

• while

• to

• often

Book: p.110

7. Eliminate Imprecise and Ambiguous Language

Imprecise

• We have your recent letter.

• Please send us a supply of pamphlets for distribution.

• You can count on our quick turn around.

• The sampling was a huge success.

Specific

• We have your May 2 letter.

• Please send us 500 pamphletsfor us to distribute.

• You can count on our 24-hour turnaround.

• The sampling served more than 3,000 people.

Book p.112-116

Strive to be precise. Your writing will reflect confidence and knowledge.

8. Banish Pretentious Language

Jargon

• Viable alternatives

• Commensurate

• Facilitate

• Scenario

• Optimize

Plain Language

• Alternatives, possibilities

• Equal to

• Help

• Possibility

• Enhance, improve

Avoid the temptation to pad your writing with language of jargon, foreign phrases, Multi-syllabic words, legalese, and vogue words.

Banish Pretentious Language (continued)

Foreign Terms

• Bona fide

• Carte blanche

• Joie de vivre

• Modus Operandi

• Nonpareil

• Sans

• Raison d’etre

• Per se

Plain Language

• Genuine

• Authority, full rein

• Joy of/zest for life

• Method

• Without match

• Without

• Primary reason for

• As such

Book: p. 118 (box) -125, exercise: p. 126

9. Reduce Redundancy “The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two

words where on will do.” Thomas Jefferson

• Knowledgeable experts advise never, ever using

redundant words and verbiage. Redundancies are

unnecessary and useless. They clutter your writing by

repeating over and over again what you’ve already

said. Eliminate completely these needless goofs.

Remember, your ultimate goal is to write clearly and

concisely.

Reduce Redundancy (continued)

Redundant

• Continue on

• Cooperate together

• Count up

• Courteous and polite

• Definitely interested

• Depreciate in value

Concise

• Continue

• Cooperate

• Count

• Use just one

• Interested

• Depreciate

Make every word work in a sentence. If it doesn’t contribute, remove it.

Book p. 128-131, exercises p. 131-132

Review: Business Style

• Eliminate heavy sentence starters

• Eliminate clutter from sentence midsections (who, that, which)

• Omit overloaded nouns

• Get rid of lifeless verbs

• Delete dull intensifiers

Review: Business Style (continued)

• Eliminate prepositional fillers

• Get rid of imprecise and ambiguous language

• Get rid of pretentious language

• Reduce redundancy

Tone

What is Business Tone?

“Life is not so short that there is always time for courtesy.”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Things to Remember

Establish common ground with reader• State message in a tone and with a personality that

won’t distract the reader from your message

Don’t write up or down to a reader but rather to that reader

Avoid the negative by accentuating the positive

Use Antonyms to Remove The Negative “Not”

Instead of

• He did not accept the help.

• The office will not be open then.

• They were not present during the conference call.

• The meeting did not start on time.

Write

• He declined the help.

• The office will be closed then.

• They were absent during the conference call.

• The meeting started late.

Use Synonyms to Avoid Wordy, Negative Sounding Phrases

Instead of

• not acceptable

• not important

• does not like

• did not pay heed to

• did not have much faith in

Write

• unsuitable, unfit

• minor

• prefers

• avoided

• doubted

Negative Neutral Positive

obvious clear notable

confrontation discussion meeting

roly-poly heavyset substantial

defiant independent self reliant

infamous well-known famous

foreign non-national international

getup dress/apparel ensemble

calculating clever astute

Be Alert to Shades of Meaning

Foster a Supportive vs. Defensive Climate

DefensiveReaders tend to become defensive toward people who seem to be:

• Evaluating their behavior

• Trying to control them

• Trying to manipulate them

• Indifferent to their welfare

• Considering themselves superior

• Knowing it all

SupportiveReaders tend to communicate openly with people who seem to be:

• Describing their behavior

• Cooperating in solving problems

• Acting spontaneously

• Concerned with their welfare

• Considering themselves equal

• Open to others’ ideas

Delivering Unpopular Messages

Do

• Do state your purpose up front

• Do opt for neutral words when you can’t be positive. Be courteous.

• Do allow your reader to save face. That is, minimize attack on the person. Focus on the issue. For example, “An out-of-stock condition has developed” is preferable to “you’ve created a problem.”

• Do focus on what you have done and what the reader can do to resolve the problem. If possible give the reader a choice. State what actions you’ve taken to remedy the situation.

• Do inject people’s names and use contractions to warm your writing and sound natural.

Don’t

• Don’t start with a once-upon-a-time detail.

• Don’t use hostile or inflammatory words (failed, refused, must, should, imperative, etc.)

• Don’t “scream” in print. (Don’t misuse capital letters or bold effects)

• Don’t belabor your assault. (Also don’t use overblown apologies if you are at fault)

• Don’t be stuffy, inflated, or adorned even when bearing bad news.

Banishing Bias Biased

• adman

• anchorman

• bellboy

• businessman

• chairman

• common man

• fireman

• foreman

• freshman

• mailman

• man-hours

Alternative

• ad executive

• anchor

• bellhop

• professional, executive

• chair, coordinator, head

• common person

• fire fighter

• supervisor

• first-year student

• mail carrier

• hours, time, labor

Gender Bias

Banishing Bias (Continued)

Biased

• mankind

• man-made

• manpower

• men working

• policeman

• salesman

• spokesman

• stewardess

• waiter, waitress

• workman

Alternative

• humanity, human beings

• synthetic, manufactured

• personnel, staff

• roadwork

• police officer

• salesperson, sales rep.

• spokesperson

• flight attendant

• server, wait staff

• worker

Gender Bias

PC Language (Use with care)

Non-PC

• old

• stupid

• nearsighted

• lazy

• disorganized

• short

PC

• chronologically gifted

• differently logical

• optically inconvenienced

• motivationally deficient

• non-traditionally ordered

• vertically challenged

Review: Business Tone Avoid the negative by accentuating the positive

• He did not accept the help. Vs. He declined the help.

Foster a Supportive vs. Defensive Climate• Evaluating their behavior vs. Describing their behavior

Banish Bias• Mankind vs. Humanity

Be Aware of PC Language• Old vs. chronologically gifted

Book: p.149-155

Grammar and Spelling

Grammar

Misusing grammar can hurt your personal image as well as your companies image.

But don’t feel badly!

Were going to address the most frequent grammar mistakes by examining grammar’s 5 deadly sins.

Five Deadly Sins

Incorrect pronouns Subject-verb disagreement Lack of parallel structure Run-on sentences with the word “however” Confusing word pairs

1. Incorrect Pronouns Using myself incorrectly

• Incorrect: They shipped the order to Tom and myself.

• Correct: They shipped the order to Tom and me.

• RULE: A reflexive pronoun is used when the object of the verb is the same person, place, or thing as the subject. The verb’s action is reflected back on the subject.

• I burned myself. vs. I burned me.

• She gave herself a raise vs. She gave her a raise

• *Correct: The king himself was there. (Used for emphasis)

Incorrect Pronouns

Using I for me• Incorrect: They shipped the order to Tom and I.

• Correct: They shipped the order to Tom and me.

• Rule: I is always the subject of the verb.

Me is always the object of the verb.

• Debra and I headed the committee. vs. Debra and me headed…

• Send your invoices to Luis and me. vs. Send them to Luis and I.

Incorrect Pronouns Switching from singular to plural pronoun reference

• Incorrect: Each employee must punch their time card before leaving.

• Correct: Each employee must punch his or her time card before leaving.

• Rule: Pronouns need to agree in number and gender with the nouns to which they refer.

• All division managers will address their wholesalers at the conference. vs.

• Each division manager will address their wholesalers at the conference.

Incorrect Pronouns (continued)

*Beware of gender bias:*Beware of gender bias:

• Each division manager will address his Each division manager will address his wholesaler at the conference.wholesaler at the conference.

vs.vs.

• Each division manager will address a Each division manager will address a wholesaler at the conference.wholesaler at the conference.

2. Subject-Verb Disagreement Intervening phrase between subject and verb

hinders proper agreement

• Incorrect: The boxes containing the missing information is being delivered Friday.

• Correct: The boxes containing the missing information are being delivered Friday.

• Rule: The subject and it’s verb must agree.

• Each of the managers agrees with the decision. vs.

• Each of the managers agree with the decision.

Detect the Problem in Agreement

The consensus of past conference attendees were positive.

Multiple production environments, although offering business flexibility, has caused us to decrease output.

Supply the Correct Form of the Verb

1. Excessive layers of packaging (induce, induces) consumers to buy another company’s product.

2. The use of styrofoam by fast food chains (have, has) come under vocal attack.

3. Guidelines for the safe disposal of industrial waste (are, is) being more carefully enforced.

3. Lack of Parallel Structure Creating confusion by not conforming to parallel

grammatical forms

• Unparallel: This project is tedious, difficult and makes me very tired.

• Parallel: This project is tedious, difficult and tiring.

• Rule: A parallel sentence is one in which elements of equal weight are expressed in equal grammatical forms.

• Acting, singing, and dancing are Maria’s strongest talents. vs.

• Acting, singing, and to dance are Maria’s strongest talents.

Detect Error in Parallel Structure

I see one third of a nation ill housed, ill clothed, and not getting any food.

Dorothy Carin was happy about her promotion and getting a pay raise.

The sales manager advises employees to work hard and against relying on luck.

The service center promises to sell us the truck parts and that the cost will be reasonable.

Detect Error in Parallel Structure

1. She offered him a job as a salesperson, with an attractive starting salary, commission structure, and the benefits were also good.

2. Steve was concerned about income, security, and to be able to advance on the job.

3. With experience in sales, public relations, and the ability to supervise others, Jane sought a position as a store Manager.

4. Instead of using resumes, agencies, or even answering help wanted ads, he personally visited every major store in his community.

4. Run-On Sentences with the Word However

Wrongly joining two independent clauses with however and other words of transition

• Run-on: I wanted to go out, however we stayed at home.

• Correct: I wanted to go out; however we stayed at home.

or

I wanted to go out. However, we stayed at home.

Rule: Words of transition (adverbial clauses) cannot join two independent clauses with only a comma.

More Run-On Sentences with However

Run-on: Our Promotion was successful, however the competition also lowered its prices.

Correct: Our Promotion was successful; however the competition also lowered its prices.

• or

• Our Promotion was successful. However, the competition also lowered its prices.• or

• Our Promotion was successful, but the competition also lowered its prices.

But is a conjunction so it can link independent clauses

5. Confusing Word Pairs

Similar words meaning entirely different things

• Already vs. all ready

• Already… adverb, before this time

• All ready… adjective, all prepared

Confusing Word Pairs (examples)

He’s only humane. Its almost time for our meeting. The loyal servants prostated themselves

before the king. It’s so quite in here you can almost hear a pin

drop. Now that we’ve finished dinner, what is for

desert?

Book p.186-194

Spelling

Ghoti

• Enough = f

• Women= i

• Fiction = sh

Most frequently misspelled words

Book: p. 208-213

Review: Grammar (Five Deadly Sins)

1. Incorrect pronouns

2. Subject-verb disagreement

3. Lack of parallel structure

4. Run-on sentences with the word “however”

5. Confusing word pairs

• Frequently misspelled words

Writing It! (3 Steps to Success!)

Three Step Plan for Effective Writing Step 1: “Zero Draft” (quick)

• Getting started techs• Determine objective• Mind mapping/outline• Bogus first sentence

Step 2: Organizing• Bottom-lining

• Find main point and place it first

• Strong headline/subject line• Original closing line

Step 3: Ruthless Editing• Style (Sentence clutter)• Tone• Grammar• Spelling

E-mail

E-mail: Advantages and Disadvantages

E-mail: Writing Guidelines

Bottom-line your message

• Start with a strong subject line

•Create headlines

Subject Lines

Bland Title

• Section 2.3

• Pricing Analysis

• Marketing Meeting

• Account Information

Informative Headline

• 33 Ways to Cut Costs

• Pricing Analysis Suggests Status Quo

• Marketing Meeting Schedule Change

• Two Top Accounts Change Management

Create *headlines which provide the outcome (bottom-line) of your message.You’ve got to tell your reader something. A good headline can stand alone.

*Headlines work best when they contain a verb!

Subject Lines as Headlines Ways to entice, invite, and encourage the reader to find out more

• Explain: • “How to Increase Productivity”

• Use numbers:• “Five Steps to Increase Productivity”

• Use an ”ing” verb• “Increasing Your Productivity”

• Create a need• “The Need to Increase Productivity”

• Use a whole sentence:• Declarative:

• “Increasing Productivity Decreases Costs”

• Imperative:• “Increase Productivity Before our Competitors Do”

• Interrogative:• “How Can We Increase Productivity?”

Email: Formatting Guidelines Try to limit it to one topic per email.

Limit sentence length and keep paragraphs short for easy reading.

Use bullets or numbers whenever possible.

Use an *asterisk* around a word to emphasize a point

Do not capitalize whole words that are not titles. Capitalizing is generally interpreted as SHOUTING to your reader.

Reread before sending

BTWBCNUFWIWFYIIMHOOBOROTFLTNSTAAFLTTFNTTYL

by the waybe seeing youfor what it's worthfor your informationin my humble opinionor best offerrolling on the floor laughingthere's no such thing as a free lunchta ta for nowtalk to you later

Abbreviations (use sparingly!)

Emoticons

:-);-):-|:->8-):-D:-/:-(:-P:-Q:-@:-O:-*:-{}

Smiley faceWink (light sarcasm)IndifferenceDevilish grin (heavy sarcasm)Eye-glassesShock or surprisePerplexedFrown (anger or displeasure)Wry smileSmokerScreamYellDrunkWears lipstick