What I BELIEVE about the situation is what causes my
Transcript of What I BELIEVE about the situation is what causes my
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Anger Insight
Situations Don’t Cause
Emotions –
What I BELIEVE about the
situation is what causes
my emotion
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Primary: motor running fast, or explosive.
>Biological: early, life-long, or injury-
related.
>Frustration of hyperactivity.
>Explosion of impulsivity.
>Brain injury or seizure disorder.
>Psychosis (PCP intoxication).
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>Psychological
>Social: usually event-related.
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>Manic-depressive, cyclothymia
>Major depressive disorder
>Drug and alcohol abusers.
>Attention deficit disorder
>Narcissistic disorder
>Intermittent explosive disorder
>Mental retarded, brain injured, seizure
disorder
Adjustment Disorder with Conduct
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Class of Disorders
>Manic-depressive, cyclothymia
>Attention Disorder
>Major depressive disorder
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>Lithium (Eskalith, Lithobid, Lithonate)
>Carbamezapine (Tegretol)
>Valproate (Depakote, Depakene)
>Topiramate (Lamictal)
>Gabapentin (Neurontin)
These are mood stabilizers/anticonvulsants
(baseline).
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Neuroleptics
>Thorazine (chlorpromazine)
>Haldol (haloperidol)
>Clozaril (clozapine)—Blood Count must be
done each week.
>Risperdal (risperidone)
>Zyprexa (olanzapine)
>Seroquel (Quetiapine)
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Antidepressants:
>Tricyclics
>Tofranil (imipramine)
>SSRI
>Prozac (fluoxetine)
>Zoloft (sertraline)
>Paxil (paroxetine)
>Luvox (fluvoxamine)
>Celexa (citalopram)
>Lexapro
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ANGER MANAGEMENT! ANGER MANAGEMENT! ANGER MANAGEMENT!
Get Your ANGRIES Out
And Those Mads, Bads and Grumpies...
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Do the mean awful angries keep creeping up on your family?
Everyone gets the angries and are really mean. We can learn how to release those mads in safe ways, so that no one gets hurt and we feel better.
Ask yourself, "How would the quality of your life improve if you used your anger in safe, acceptable ways?"
Yes! You can learn positive things to do with your anger! If you are human, then you have angry feelings. Sometimes they make us say and do things that we don’t like, such as stuffing it down or exploding with frustration.
The Anger Challenge is to learn ways to deal with your mads constructively! What a challenge! To learn about yourself and the person you are upset with rather than blowing up. What a novel idea! To do many creative things with your anger rather than hurting others or yourself. Take up The Anger Challenge and feel better about yourself and be happier in your relationships. Make choices to let go of those ugly mads and angries.
earning to See Things From Your Partner's Point of View
Fighting Fair -- The Best Way To Fight
Passive Aggressive Behavior -- The Boomerang Relationship
The Relationship Cure
When Destructive Anger Hits Your Family
Violence in Families
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Your Mad Baggage.
"Life is full of multidimensional possibilities. Once you get a
handle on your mads, your life becomes easier and easier.
Remember, you don't have to keep on doing the same-o, same-o.
Choices: Life is about choices. You have choices about what to do
when you get mad. One great thing about being a Human Being is
that you do get choices. We can use our choices about our mads
to become gentle, loving people.
What better option do you have to do with your lifetime? “Choose
wisely your Mads, Bads, Angries And Grumpies!”
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Anger Behavior
Grandfather
My Age: 7-10
Beat me with a strap
Brother
My Age: Baby to 15
Hit me / tied me up / shut me in the closet
Dad
My Age: 12-15
Ignored me / threatened to beat me
Stepdad
My Age: 17
Called me “good for nothing”/ refused to take me places but took my brother
Husband
My Age: 34
Verbal abuse / silence
WHAT IS YOUR STORY?
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It depends on whether I can get away with it. I should not be inconvenienced. No one should tell me what to do. I should be able to run my life the way I want to.
If we resist following the rules,
one of the rules we inevitably end
up breaking is the need to stay
sober. Our rebelliousness places
us in trouble with others. We are
out for our own good regardless of
the effect on others.
Our life lacks the harmony and
peace we seek.
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AVOIDING (Passive approach)-withdrawing from the conflict.
ACCOMODATING approach)-one person resolves the conflict by giving in to the other person.
COMPROMISING (Passive approach)-both people gains and looses in order to resolve the conflict.
FORCING (Aggressive approach)-Both attempt to serve their own needs regardless of the other.
COLLABORATING (problem-solving approach)
ATTEMPT MADE BY BOTH PEOPLE TO FULLY SATISFY THE NEEDS OF EACH.
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Expectation…..
You have your fantasy world
built in your mind.
Self-Interest…..
Your self-interest override the
interest of others.
Pride……
Inflated Ego
Above the law…
Rules do not apply to me.
My Way or the Highway…
Lacking empathy or low EIQ
(emotional intelligence quota)
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1. Inability to check aggressive drives.
2. “Control” ego personality—PRIDE
3. Interference with person’s goals
of self-interest.
WE ALL
HAVE > > >
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Self-indulgers view the world from the
vantage point of infants, and toddlers about
their way expecting to find a crib or breast
around every corner.
The self-indulger proceeds on the assumption
that his/her own welfare must be of primary
concern to others.
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A propensity (largely resulting from limited
interpersonal skill) to explode in situations
with which one is unable to deal.
The pressure of your world is too much. Just like a
pressure cooker without the gauge, you explode to
release the pressure within.
You are a walking time-bomb.
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The individual is deficient in verbal and other
social skills with interpersonal relationships.
This individual wants to tear up the game and be
the winning player.
His/Her interpersonal strategies are limited.
The dominant feeling tone is one of irritation,
helplessness, pain, or blind rage.
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A self-image promoter is an individual who
works hard at manufacturing the impression
that he/she is not to be trifled with—that
he/she is formidable and fearless. This
individual goes out of his/her way to make
sure that people understand how important
he/she is and how important it is to him/her
that he/she is important.
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The self-image defender is an individual who
is extremely sensitive to the implications of
other people’s actions to his integrity,
position or worth. The individual’s violence
arises in the form of responses to challenges,
retaliations to slights, or reactions against
aspersions to his/her advertised self-
conception.
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Feeling like GOD and controlling all the
people interacting with you.
Individual secures momentary peace by
coping with specific threats upon his/her
victim.
Individual becomes enmeshed in extreme
violence in a effort to handle his/her panic.
Management by Intimidation.
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You are the one who talks to you, all day,
every day. What kind of friend are you? Are
you actively creating a toxic environment for
yourself, contaminating your experience of
the world?
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1. Lying by omission or commission (passive
and active lying)
2. Being deliberately vague
3. Minimizing (trivializing)
4. Pointing out the faults of others.
5. Magnifying (exaggerating significance).
6. Deliberately trying to confuse.
7. Arguing
8. Sarcasm and teasing.
9. Splitting staff.
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Lying by commission
Make up stories to cover yourself and put off task.
You distort, invent, turn upside down, or deny facts.
LYING BY OMMISSION
Believe only you know what is
Important to disclose
Disclose information that only
Benefits you.
―I don’t know.‖ ―I don’t remember.‖
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Talk and talk and talk about yourself
without revealing any relevant
information.
Try to conceal something through
Your careful choice of words and
phrases.
Avoid giving direct answers to direct
questions.
Say ―I’ll think about it‖ when you
are pinned down, though you
never bring it up again; when you are
challenged, you say, ―I forgot.‖
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*PLAY DOWN THE IMPORTANCE OF A SITUATION.
*VIEW YOUR OFFENSES AS LESS SERIOUS THAN OTHERS.
*MINIMIZE THE HARM OF YOUR ACTIONS
*CLAIM YOU DID NOT INTEND TO CAUSE HARM.
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**MAKE A MOUNTAIN
out of a MOLEHILL.
**POINT OUT THE
SMALL
INCONSISTENCIES
Of others and
THEN DWELL ON
THEM. REDIRECT YOUR FAULTS.
**Exaggerate the fault of the other person
In a conflict in order to make your role less
Significant.
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Double talk.
Fancy Words.
Street Language.
Personal slang.
*Jump quickly from point
to point.
*Offer inconsistent
versions of an event.
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Stopping angry outburst does not change
negative attitudes and unhealthy behavior.
These ways of thinking and behaving have over
time become subconscious habits.
They are learned traits and defense mechanisms
we have used to deal with uncomfortable people
and situations.
These negative traits help us to avoid responsibility or to escape unpleasant emotional feelings.
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These automatic reactions are
powerful, and we are apt to see
them as simply part of us.
We may believe that they are
unchangeable, but changing
these beliefs is possible.
We need to change our actions
and our thinking. This is a long
process.
We need to practice healthy
actions and responses
frequently before our deep-
seated beliefs start to change.
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No. 1: I should never be uncomfortable—physically or emotionally.
No. 2: I should never be inconvenienced.
No. 3: Life should be fair!
No. 4: Unrealistic expectations of Life set us up for disappointment.
No. 5: I should never have to ask for help.
No. 6: Rules are for others.
No. 7: Other people, places and things govern how I feel.
No. 8: I focus on external things to feel good.
No. 9: Everyone should respect me and approve of me.
No. 10: I can avoid responsibility. I boast about how clever I am for taking the easy way out.
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#1: Authoritarian
Individual who demands
obedience to a set standard of
conduct. The rules are clear
and inflexible.
Punishment is often
severe on the backside.
Their apologies are few
to none.
This approach tends to produce lower self-worth. Disrespect of others, rebellious or indecisive.
My Way or the
Highway!
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You are passive aggressive and feel like you are a
―Victim‖. YOU ARE A TIME BOMB READY TO
EXPLODE!
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Feelings And beliefs
Decisions
BEHAVIORAL RESPONSE
And the EVENT
OCCURS
REMORSE
Specific Thoughts
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When you have the same types of thoughts over and over,
you create thinking patterns. Thinking patterns are habits of
thinking and responding becomes automatic.
Don’t say ―That’s just the way I am.‖ That self-talk is wrong.
You have just come to believe that it is the way you are. The
problem is, once your thinking responses are automatic, you
don’t question whether those thoughts are the most effective
way to deal with things.
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Our culture is being overwhelmed by: *Road Rage *Child Abuse *Spouse Abuse *Conflicts on the job *Violence at the Workplace *Violent outbursts at sporting events *Assaults on students *Assaults on teachers *Assault on Family Members We want to find ways to identify anger before it gets out of
hand. Which one of the above aggression situations have you seen
or been a part of the situation? If you want to discuss the event with Mr. or Mrs. Gregory, please call us at 832-257-4550 or 832-257-5996. Confidentiality is respected in everyway inaccordance with CFR 42, Part 2, the Federal Law.
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• If you are tired of getting what you have always
gotten, this is the best opportunity you may ever
have to learn how to do some things differently,
and get better---MUCH better ---results.
• How tired of you with your life being full of
irritation or chaos?
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American Psychiatric Association, (1994). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorders, 4th ed. Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Association. 1994.
Beck, R. and Fernandez, E. (1998). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in treatment of anger, Cognitive Therapy and Research, 22, 63-74.
Edwards, Henry (2000). Psychopharmacological Considerations in Anger Management. Springer Publishing Co., New York.
Edmondson, C. B. and Conger, J. C. (1996). A review of treatment efficacy for individuals with anger problems, Clinical Psychology Review, 10, 251-275.
Ellis, A. (1979). Rational-emotive therapy: Corsini, R. (Ed.), Current Psychotherapies (pp. 185-229). Itasca, II: Peacock Publishers.
Nadler, Ruby, Anger Management Relationships, Psychological Science 2010; 21: 1770-1776.
Reilly, P. M.; Shopshire, M.S.; Durazzo, T. C.; and Campbell, T. A. (2002). Anger Management for Substance Abuse and Mental Health Clients: Rockville, MD: Center for Substance Abuse Treatment.
Robinson, T. R. Smith, S. W. & Miller, M. D. (2002) Behavioral Disorders, 27(3), 256-271.
Straus, M.; Gelles, R.; and Steinmetz, S. (1980). Behind Closed Doors: Violence in the American Family. Garden City, NY: Doubleday.
Walker, L. (1979). The Battered Woman. New York: Harper & Row.
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