Westminster Veterinary Group

Conflict Resolution TrainingOctober 14, 2010

Define Conflict-when someone’s behavior is bothering you or offends you.

Conflict resolution- is teaching people new ways to work through and resolve disputes without escalating the situation.

The real causes of conflict-system problems, ethical issues, differing work habits and HURT feelings.

Conflict Resolution

If I am not part of the problem, there is no solution…

Maravelas, 2005

Gossiping, enhancing your status, blaming

others creating cliques…

The avoider, complainer, pretender, bully,

shout and displace?

Self -Assessment

How are you communicating that is causing conflict?

Reasons Complain Avoid Pretend Bully Shout Dis-place

They must know

Hurt others

I can tell someone

Afraid

Aggressive

Blow-up

Had it coming

Why don’t people resolve their conflicts

You think the other person knows better

Fear, still need to work together, it may be the boss

You allowed it- you deserve it

Afraid of what may happen

Afraid of becoming aggressive

The Reality- You are unskilled at Conflict Resolution

Learning Conflict Resolutions

Instead of attacking the competence and character of someone – seek a dialogue…

Benefits- physical health, effectiveness, relationships, productivity and personal happiness.

Uncomfortable Conversations… can be the most productive

Three ways we deal with conflict

1. Ignore2. Aggressive3. Appropriately- Assertive

We learned to communicate as children

Conflict is neither good nor bad

Conflict is inevitable

Conflict does not have to result in winners and

losers

In conflict both parties tend to believe that their

opinion is fact

Too often both parties see themselves as innocent

victims who represent the side of truth and

fairness

Key Messages about Conflict

1. What ‘s bothering you? Be specific Don’t label the person’s behavior

2. What do you want the other person to do?3. What are you going to do?

A Climate of Respect and AppreciationAssume Positive Intentions

Kind, Clear and Concise Communication

Thinking patterns- reflexive

Word choices

Body language- non-verbal messages

Listening

Eye contact

Facial expressions

Voice

Gestures

Choices we make…

The essence of conflict resolution and conflict management is the

ability to communicate effectively. People who have and use effective communication will

resolve their conflicts with greater ease and success.

Communication skills

Choices we make…words we use•I would appreciate•Can we•Several times we have talked about this--- I am_________ feeling inserted•It has been brought to my attention•I am concerned•I am confident we can find a solution•I think•I need•I disagree•I didn’t know

Rude tone of voice Having people ask you to do something “

right now” Employees respond negatively Too busy

Let’s break into group

Vignettes

You only have control of one of the two

parties involved in the conflict and

resolution. Set ground rules, find common interests,

listen, brainstorm and discuss.

Train your brain- STOP !!! Think and react

slowly- know your triggers

It takes two !!!!

Unresolved conflict to resolved communication

Something happens

Your body reacts- how does that feel – explain

Breathing changes

Thinking skills

Listening skills

A visual and auditory memory occurs explain

What does it remind you of?

Physical reaction

You cause conflict with your reactions!

Stop What are the true

needs? Ask new

questions Can you tell me

more? Begin to negotiate Statements like;“I

need” or “I would like”

What will it take to move forward?

Are you willing to communicate?

What would you like to see happen?

What will it take?

Brainstorm

Agreement/solution

Implement What can I learn? What is possible if

people communicate kindly, clearly and concisely?

Re-evaluate

Contact

Reaction

Feeling

Past

experience

CONFLICT!!

New choices

Negotiate

Questions

Brainstorm

Understanding

Agreements

Follow- thru

Benefits to good communication and conflict resolution skills- relaxed conversations, cooperation increased, gossip decreased, willingness to address problems and agreements met and kept.

People listen to different ideas Increased participation Increased ownership and commitment

Westminster Veterinary Group

Gain awareness of how you present yourself- your confrontation style

Assume positive intentions Have a confrontation – when necessary – be kind, clear and concise

Learn how to reduce conflict in your life- use humor correctly, be polite, be considerate, don’t interrupt, be sincere, eye contact,

Where do we go from here…

Westminster’s Communication Contract

The real causes of conflict-system problems, ethical issues, differing work habits and HURT feelings.

Practice-Practice-Practice

Communication/Confrontation