Chris Heilmann (@codepo8) - SmashingConf, Oxford, England, March 2015

WELCOME TO PLANET FINTLEWOODLEWIX

@codepo8

Chris Heilmann

HHGTTG

THE WEB IS THE CLOSEST THING TO THE GUIDE I KNOW…

AND THE PEOPLE OF THE WEB WERE PEOPLE I FELT GREAT AMONGST.

FINTLEWOODLEWIX?

PRAGMATIC ENGINEERING OF THE MODERN WEB WITH FRAMEWORKS AND FULL STACK DEVOPS TOOLS.

NOT MY CROWD…

I FEEL LIKE I DON’T UNDERSTAND THINGS ANY MORE.

https://medium.com/@codepo8/i-feel-like-a-fraud-and-thats-a-good-thing-cc1fa338b902

FEELING INCOMPETENT IS NOT FUN.

OVER COMPENSATION

AGGRESSION

INTERNALISATION 

LETHARGY

ALAS, THAT WENT OUT OF THE WINDOW PRETTY QUICKLY…

ALAS, THAT WENT OUT OF THE WINDOW PRETTY QUICKLY…

ALAS, THAT WENT OUT OF THE WINDOW PRETTY QUICKLY…

ALAS, THAT WENT OUT OF THE WINDOW PRETTY QUICKLY…

ALAS, THAT WENT OUT OF THE WINDOW PRETTY QUICKLY…

THE WEB AS WE KNOW IT IS IN DANGER…

•Native apps on monolithic, closed systems

•Browser dependencies •Government control and

lockout •Corporate lockout •Walled content gardens

I FEEL WE’VE LOST OUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS.

TECHNO BABBLE AND GEEK SPEAK

BUILDING FOR A WORLD THAT MOSTLY EXISTS IN OUR TECH-PRESS HEADLINES.

FAKE CURRENCIES OF FINTLEWOODLEWIX

WE HAVE THAT, TOO!

…nothing but advertising. And we don’t even do it for money. We do it for likes. We do it for GitHub stars and we do it for hacker news and reddit upvotes. That’s dumb.

“

WE KEEP GOING TO OUR OWN, HAPPY PLACE.

REMEMBER ALL THE THINGS THAT NEVER GOT AS IMPORTANT AS WE MADE THEM OUT TO BE?

•Live reload •The realtime web •Web Sockets •Meteor •Comet •Microformats

IF YOUR WEB PRODUCT ISN’T RETINA READY, YOU WILL NOT HAVE ANY USERS SOON!

“

EVERYBODY ALREADY HAS A…

•iPhone •iPad •iWatch •iScream

NOT EVERYTHING IS SHINY AND NEW.

IT IS DAMN REWARDING TO GET PEOPLE CONNECTED!

WE NEED TO STOP GORGING ON TECHNOLOGY AND INNOVATION AND BUILD FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT US.

“MODERN WEB DESIGN”

http://gochat.us/

MAYBE I AM JUST A TAINTED, GRUMPY, AND OLD CODER

BACKWARDS COMPATIBILITY SHOULDN’T BE A NUISANCE…

FRAMEWORKS RESULT IN PERFORMING SOLUTIONS!

http://www.webpagetest.org/video/view.php?id=150314_Q2_DEY.1.0Tested From: Virginia USA - EC2 - Firefox - Cable

WELL, PROBABLY ON MOBILE, RIGHT?

http://www.webpagetest.org/video/view.php?id=150314_7R_DTG.1.0Tested From: Dulles, VA - Nexus 5 - Chrome

EXCELLENCE THROUGH REPETITION?

When I feel like a fraud, I just needle myself on to do better.“

OUR JOBS ARE NEVER BORING AND THERE IS SO MUCH TO DO!

AND…

THERE IS MORE TO OUR JOBS THAN MOBILE DEVICE USE CASES.

A LOT OF WHAT WE HAVE TO USE HURTS ME AS A WEB DEVELOPER…

LET’S PLAY “FIND THE NECESSARY ACTION”

OR “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?”

A LOT HAS TO DO WITH OUTDATED SYSTEMS NOT GETTING UPGRADED.

BY FAR THE #1 REASON I GOT FROM WEB DEVELOPERS NOT EMBRACING HTML5:

WE NEED TO SUPPORT INTERNET EXPLORER!

THIS EVEN BECAME A RUNNING GAG…

AND I GOT SO TIRED OF IT, I DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

ENTERPRISE INTERNET

HERE IS WHERE I NEED YOU!

LET’S MAKE THE WEB HOOPY FOR EVERYBODY AGAIN!

REQUEST FEATURES!

https://wpdev.uservoice.com/forums/257854-internet-explorer-platform

CHECK BACK FREQUENTLY AND BET ON INTEROP!

https://status.modern.ie/

UNBLOCK THE PIPES, PLEASE!

WEBSITE OBESITY IS NOT UNCOMMON…

SPEED UP YOUR PRODUCTS!

http://www.webpagetest.org/

Feeling like a fraud keeps you humble, it keeps you sane, it keeps you on your toes.

“

Use that annoyance and own it. Make yourself better by doing what makes you happy.

“

LET’S GO AND BUILD GREAT PRODUCTS FOR EVERYBODY

Chris Heilmannchristianheilmann.com @codepo8

Thank you!