Week 2January 15th & 17th, 2008

Rebound Sports Therapy Centre (Surtees Gym)

10 hours per week Must be on OSAP Flexible with your schedule Opportunity to develop into Community

Leadership Placement or a job for next year!

There are also volunteer opportunities!!!

An act or means of conveying information Modes of communication – verbal & non-

verbal Types of information – cognitive & affective Levels of information – extrapersonal,

interpersonal, intrapersonal One-way versus two-way communication Why is two-way more effective?

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Receiving a message Listening skills Non-verbal messages

Sending a message Verbal communication Giving feedback

Barriers to communication

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Message

Sender Medium Receiver

Feedback

“Communication is not something that

people do to one another but a

process in which they create a

relationship by interacting with each

other.”

(Adler & Towne, 1987)

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1. I am a good listener when my friends have problems.

2. I prefer to be seen and not heard.3. I often ridicule others when I am

talking.4. I often ask “WHY?”5. I never interrupt another person

when he/she is talking.7

6. I am encouraging and supportive when talking to others.

7. I keep eye-to-eye contact when a person is speaking.

8. I frequently attack people’s ideas without apparent reason.

9. I talk too much when in a group.10. I tell people when they have made a

good point or have an interesting idea.11. I admit errors when they exist and I

can support the other person’s better idea.

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“I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.”

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What are you talking about?

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Pair up and sit back to back

When I say go, discuss a topic for several

minutes

Then, sit face to face and continue the

conversation

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1. How does this experience compare to a

phone conversation?

2. What are the advantages to face to face

conversation?

3. What are the disadvantages?

4. Hand in your work with all names on the

same sheet.12

Body language, gestures, posture, appearance, dress, eye contact, personal space, tone of voice, touch, etc.

How does a person receive a message?

7% verbal38% tone of voice

55% body and facial expressions

How do the following affect the message? Tattoos Piercings Clothing Hair style

Are these considerations for you as a sport leader? As a teacher? As a coach?

Emphasize what you are saying

Confuse what you are saying

Give opposite meaning to what you say

Smiles slightly Suddenly opens eyes wide Yawns during conversation Shrugs shoulders Sits rigidly and upright in chair Folds arms tightly over chest Starts to turn pale Wrings hands Fiddles Slouches Speaks hesitantly

Say the expression “AH” as it would be said by:

a) An audience seeing a puppy b) A girl picking up a big wormc) A student who hears a test is

cancelledd) A carpenter smashing his thumb

a) Count Draculab) An angry little boyc) A man on the street d) A whining little girl

1. I’ve had a wonderful time2. That was a really easy test3. I sure learned a lot in that class

......but how you say it

“I” messages versus “YOU” messages

I messages are constructive messages to be used in a situation when one person needs to let the other know he/she is being affected by the other’s behaviour

An “I “ message clearly defines the need of the sender and the behaviour of the other (It deals with the behaviour, not the person)

It goes on to describe the effect of the behaviour

“You “ messages are more common, and more destructive to relationships. They always address the person rather than the behaviour of the person.

Even when they are meant to be complimentary, they can be difficult to accept

Give examples of “YOU” messages, and an alternative “I” message

Intimate Distance: Contact – 18 inches

Personal Distance: 1.5 - 4 feet

Social Distance: 4 – 12 feet

Public Distance: 12 – 25+ feet

What cultural differences exist with respect

to our use of space?

How would you feel and what would you do in each of the following situations?

In what ways do you use touch on a daily basis?

What feelings do you express through touch?

Listening – the forgotten skill!!! Over 70% of our waking hours are spent

communicating: Talking 35% Reading 16% Writing 9% Listening 40%

Statistics show that only 25% of us are effective listeners! This is our least competent area of communication!

The BIG DAY! Active Listening

Observe and be aware of your communication with others over the next two days

Pay particular attention to: Body language Tone of voice Listening skills Feedback

Be prepared to demonstrate some of these skills on Thursday!

An active process during which the mind interacts with both the speaker and the incoming information (McCarthy, 1991).

Mental activities for active listening: Clear your mind Listen to non-verbal communication Mentally outline the message

Physical activities for active listening: Environment Full attention (body and mind) Signal support Empathize with speaker (listen with HEART) Paraphrase the speaker (one of the KEYS to

active listening)

You are feeling... I see. You are saying... You are really From what I’m hearing it seems you

feel... Let me see if I am understanding

correctly... So you are saying... It sounds as if you are feeling...

Groups of 3 Possible Topics of conversation:

Why I chose PHE at Nipissing The advantages and disadvantages of

residence Dealing with alcohol/drug abuse on campus Trista’s Core Strength class Other

Listening with your ears, eyes, and HEART

Listening with the intent to understand the person both intellectually and emotionally

Listen for FEELING Listen for BEHAVIOUR Try this....

Giving and receiving feedback plays a key role in communication.

Feedback is a way of seeing the impact on another of what you say and do.

Feedback on your behaviour, on how you come across, can help you consider some alternative ways of behaving.

If not given constructively, it can encourage defensiveness, or simply be destructive.

Asked for rather than imposed Well timed – immediate vs. Waiting Not accumulated Checked for understanding Checked for validity Intended to be helpful Specific rather than general

Leaves recipient free to choose whether to accept or reject it

Describes recipient’s behaviour and it’s impact on others, free of judgements about the person

Given in a climate of trust Negative is preceded by positive Focuses on things that can change Received non-defensively Recipient has a chance to express thoughts

and feelings about feedback

Distractions – external or internal

Feelings – emotions

Preconceptions – stereotype

Language – slang, clichés, jargon, etc.

Style – volume, rambling, etc.

Rank - patronizing

Insults Personal hostilities & needs Defensiveness Criticism Premature diagnosis of people Moralizing Logical argument

Complete the Gender Communication

Quotient

Discover your score

Complete the question on the back and

submit.

Please read the INTRODUCTION in your textbook (pg. xiii-xxvi)

Answer #1 under INTERACT, and bring that with you to class:

1. In your experience as a volunteer or a paid worker, have you found any conflict between volunteers and paid staff? Discuss the reasons and solutions for such conflicts.