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THE: KIWI The Auckland University

College Magazine

OCTOBER, 1915.

VOLUME TEN.

NUMBER ONE.

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T. W. BROUGH Ladies' and Gentlemen's

Fashionable Tailor

170 K A R A N G A H A P E ROAD

Phone 1851. A U C K L A N D

Editorial

" I am escaped with the skin of my teeth."—JOB XIX-20.

THIS year the K iwi has not flourished. The Euro-pean Crisis, with the consequent departure of so many of our more prominent students for the Front, has been one of several causes contributimg to its inactivity. Indeed, had not one of our students come to its assistance when prospects looked black-est, the noble bird must surely have become extinct. Now that the crisis is over, and it has taken a new lease of life, it behoves us to see that it is not, in future, brought again into such straits. Though the question of funds has thus been satisfactorily dis-posed of—for the present, at all events there is another matter that has not been so effectually dealt with. W e refer to contributions. No maga-zine, even if funds are in a tolerably flourishing state, can hope to succeed without contributions. In the past this seems to have been an ever-recur-ring source of anxiety the skeleton ever haunting the inmost recesses of the Editorial cupboard. This issue has proved no exception to the rule. Contributors had to be stalked cautiously and per-sistently as big game; and, one having been caught, continuous vigilance was necessary to prevent its escaping at the first possible opportunity. " But then," someone may ask, " what is it that the K lWI needs ? " Well, to be comprehensive, we want any-thing that may be possibly of any real interest to students. W e want not only reports from the Secretaries of every Club and Society connected with the college, but also, little ancedotes of humourous happenings in Lecture and Common Rooms; personal items concerning the doings of ex-Students; terse, pointed articles on subjects that may interest the majority of our readers; reports of outside doings connected with the College; travel notes,—and poetry. W e do not know if Students are too bashful, or too full of the " stern realities of life " ; but few seem to woo the gentle Muse. A t all events, if they do, we seldom see the result. Most people of average literary ability can turn out a respectable verse of poetry if they give their minds to it: not powerful or artistic verse, perhaps, but nevertheless quite worth printing. If possible try to leave behind the old stereotyped forms of poetry that have appeared in so many for-mer numbers, and strike out in a new line. Be original: for, in poetry, originality is next to per-fection of workmanship as cleanliness to Godliness. Originality of subject matter, of course, we mean : for unless one is a Shelley or a Browning, it is best not to travel too far off the well-beaten Highway of recognised form. A t the sides of roads one often finds ditches—deep, muddy ones.

Sketches, too, we want. Out of some four hundred Students there are generally one or two that can wield the pencil with more than ordinary dexterity. One or two good, amusing sketches in

each number would be a great aid to the success of the magazine.

Finally, it is interest we want—real live, per-manent interest. In the past, when the KlWI has not been ignored by the majority of Students, it has been good-naturedly tolerated. They seemed to consider it as belonging exclusively to the few who happened to be interested in literary affairs, and whom they affectionately termed " book-worms." If each Student were fully alive to the fact that, as a member of the Students' Association, it was his Magazine as much as anybody else's, and that in assisting it he was benefitting himself and some hundreds of other Students, and not merely the un-fortunate officials who were responsible for its regular appearance, we should have fewer poor numbers.

A s regards contributions the ladies seem par-ticularly shy. Honestly we should like to see the lady students taking a more active part in Magazine affairs. A Magazine written entirely by men surely cannot be so interesting to the ladies as if it con-tained a fair quota of articles from the feminine pen.

It may also be pertinently remarked that in the KlWI there has always been a column reserved for Letters to the Editor: yet few seem to avail them-selves of it. It seems to us that this is quite the best method at College of making one's opinions known and felt—a kind of public Rostra which all may mount at will, and " rail aloud and in public " upon anybody and everybody from the Senate to the unfortunate Secretary of the T e a Club, (be-cause he forgot to wash your cup once about mid-term,) and all with equal freedom and impunity. It is a pity more do not make use of it : we scarcely think it is for lack of grievances.

W e cannot end without a word concerning the International crisis. The war has hit us hard. Of our Students or sometime Students over two hun-dred are at the Front. Of these, as nearly as we can ascertain, some fifteen or twenty have laid down their lives for us and ours. It is a sad thing to think that many of those who once sat near us during interminable lectures, or played beside us on the cricket and football field, men with whom we had formed firm friendships at school before we ever came up to College, should be left forever on a little arid strip of land eight thousand miles away that is yet richer with British blood than if it were pure gold. T h e y are creating an Epic infinitely greater than Homer or Virgil ever conceived. Our hearts go out to them across those eight thousand miles of sea. They are Britons! And having said that our admiration and gratitude can find no higher expression.—The Editor.

II

A.U.C. Roll of Honour

N O T E :—Where possible the rank of Member has been given.

KILLED

Astley, E. H. Sapper G. Barnard. H. Private Bayly, R. H. R. Major K. C. Dawson, A . D. G. Lieut. G. Darrow, L. R. Lieut. G. Dunlop, C. C. Sergt. G. Frater, R. A . Lieut. G. Kennedy, W. Sapper Northcroft, H. C. Lance-Corp. G. Richardson, H. G. Lieut. G. Ruddock, E. O. Sapper St. J. Tayler, E. H. Lieut. G. Wallace, A . Sergt. G. Webber, A. G. G.

12

MISSING

Commons, K. W . Sergt. G. Stuckey, F. Major G.

W O U N D E D .

Adams, F. H. G. Bridson, P. S. G. Brooks, J. C. G. Dawson, B. P. Gunner Dromgool, C. G. Fordyce A . B. G. Gasparich, J. G. G. Grierson, W . A . G; Hall-Jones, F. G. Lance-Corpl. V.C. Johns, W. H. Trooper Knight, C. L. Lieut. Lor king, S. E. G. Mason, R. G. G. Melville, R. H. Sapper G. Merrington, A. R. St. J. Newcombe, A . C. Private G. O'Brien, D. Rope, C. M. Steele, R. B. G. Stephenson, G. F. Thomas, A . W . Corp. G.

S E R V I N G

Armstrong, G. W. Lieut. G. Atkinson, R. V. G. Averill, W . W. Lieut. St. J.

• Barr, S. D. G. Basley, L. W . G. Bayliss, J. R. Beasley, F. L. G. Bedford, J. Best, C. C. G. Bassett, J. C. Capt G. Bilkey, E. E. G. Billington A. J. G. Bongard, A . G. Boucher, E. W. Corpl. G. Bowell, F. Boyes, R. D. G. Briggs, C. R. G. Broadgate, F. L. K. Buddie, G. A . Lieut. G. Bunkall, E. A . G. Burton, A . R. G. Burton, O. E. G' Butler, C. O. G. Buddie, Dr. R. G. Campbell, D. B. Campbell, F. A . Private G.

Carden, S. R. G, Christophers, H. H. Clay, G. E. G. Clayton, C. E. G. Collis, S. W. Collins, R. Y. G. Cox, H. W. G. Crickett, A . G. Cronin, T . M. G-Crook, H. L. Davenport, N. R. K. C. DeMontalk, A . S. G. Dinneen, J. D. Lieut. G. Dove, W . W. Lieut. St. J. Duthie, D. K. K. C. Elliffe, J. M. Sergt. G. Ellis, R. F. G. Ellis, S. H. Lieut. Fisher, R. J. G. Fitzgerald-Eagar, N. Forsdick, C. F. G. Gerrand, P. A . G. Goldstein, Doctor Goodfellow, E. H Lieut. G. Gordon, A . R. .

Gordon, K. F. G Doctor G. Goss, P. H. G. Goulding, F. S. G. Goulding, T . A . G. Gray, W. A. Sergt. G. Gribbin, C. R. G. Griffin, C. J. A Hall, H. F. Hanna, S. J. Lieut. Hammond, H. M. Harston, E. S. Lieut. G. Hayter, E. Hogwood E. J. L. G. Hutchinson, A. Jackson, A . B. G. Jack, D. L. Jacobsen, C. N. M. G. Jameson, A . B. G. Johnson, L. A . G. Jones, W. M. Sergt. G. Kayes, J. H. L. G. Kent, W. S. Laws, C. R. LeGallais, O. i Macdonald R. H. Lieut. G. Macfarlane, D. G K. c. Mackay, E. C. Marks, R. O. C. Sergt. G. Marsack, C. C. Sergt. G. Marshall, H. H.

Sergt. G.

Massam, J. A . G. Massey, F. G. McLean, N. C. K. C. McLeod, J. D. McFarland, R. D. Lieut. G.

13

S E R V I N G (Continued)

McGregor, A . G. Lieut. McKenzie, J. Sergt. Meikle, H. C. Lieut. G. Mogridge, S. J. G. Montague, J. F. Moore, A . E. Doctor G. Menzies, A . G. Murray, R. M. S. G. Murray, F. Doctor Murray, G. B. Nicholson, O. E. G. Ohlson, A . W . M. G. Ohlson, E. M. D. G. Olds, E. T . Oliphant J. Lieut. G. Pirrit, J. C. G. Potter, J. F. G. Rattray, C. M. W. Rees-George, A . K. C. Rice, S. D. Robb, M. G. Sefton, W. F. G. Senior, C. H. A. Lieut G. Senior, S. E. G. Sexton, A. C. A . G. Sheridan, G. B. Sergt. Smith, W. G. S. Snedden, C. A.-Spencer, N. B. Steadman, A. M.

Steele, T. I. Stewart, M. R. Stewart, G. M. Sutherland F. E. Taylor, A . B. Taylor, F. A . Vivian, J. A . H. Vickerman, N. L. Waddingham, C. E. Walton, R. H. Wells, J. F. Wells, W. S. Williams, O. W. Wilkes, T. M. Wilson, F. R. Wilson, G. S. Woodward, W. H. Worley, C. P.

Sergt.

Lieut.

Sapper

Doctor

Capt. Lieut.

G. G. G. G. G. G.

G.

K. C. G. G. G. St. J.

ENLISTED.

Bishop, T . A . Braik, L. G. Campbell, N. A . Clark, C. J. M. Clark, P. G. Olphert, J W. Rose, E. J. Wilson, J. V. Worsley, H. S.

St. J. G. K. C. St. J.

St. J.

14

Graduates for 1915

Palmam qui meruit ferat."—Horace.

MASTER OF ARTS

(Honours) A. R. Gordon (Honours) A. W. Heath N. Macky „ T. H. C. Partridge „ E. J. Salmon

F. A. Airey D. L. Algie W. T. Bishop G. S. Coldham E. Crosby K. M. Curtis

MASTER OF SCIENCE

F. L. K. Broadgate, (Honours) W.Caradus ,, E. J. Russell

MASTER OF LAWS

R. M. Algie (Honours) BACHELOR OF ARTS

B. M. Bell N. M. Carr L. J. Cotnrie H. R. Fell C. H. A Senior. W. G. Slade A. C. Tizard E. A. Watkin

E. M. Harris K. Hewson L. Matlieson J. M McKenzie J. F. Wells E. S. West F. Wilks F. P. de L. Willis.

BACHELOR OF L A W S

B. P. Cahill C. H. McKay F. C. Dromgool A. C. A. Sexton C. N. M. Jacobsen H. B. Speight. C. C. Marsack

BACHELOR OF SCIENCE

T. L. Lancaster

SENIOR SCHOLARS

B. M. Bell L. Matheson L. J. Conirie A. C. Tizard

1851 EXHIBITION SCHOLAR

K. M. Curtis

15

Easter Inter-University Tournament

THIS year the Annual Tournament—the Four-teenth—was held in Auckland, as usual during Easter week. The delegates appointed this year were Messrs. J. M. McKenzie and F. J. Cox, as Chairman and Hon. Secretary-Treasurer respec-tively. A s the former found, during the course of the year, that it was impossible to continue to act, Mr. C. F. Forsdick was elected as substitute.

A t the outset, there was considerable diversity of opinion as to whether, in view of the European crisis, the Tournament should this year be held as formerly. The Committee, however, finally de-cided that it should continue. A t that time neither did the war touch us so closely, nor was the situ-ation in Europe so grave: and so we consider it perfectly justified in its decision. In any case, the cessation of athletics, the very thing to render men hardy and virile—and when did the English race more urgently require hardihood and virility ? —seems to us not only unnecessary, but even fool-ish.

This year witnessed several important changes in the Constitution of the Tournament. Chief among these were :—

I. (Upon initiative of V.U.C.) That full Uni-versity Blues shall be awarded to :—

(a) Tennis Champions. (b) N.Z. University Football Reps. {c{ Winners of Athletic events in each

Tournament. Further that any competitor may receive not

more than one bronze medal in anyone year; and that the gold medal, formerly given for records, should be abolished, the bronze medal instead hav-ing " R e c o r d " engraved on it.

I I . (On initiative of A.U.C.) The rules gov-erning the Haslam Shield Competition, having be-come, as judged by British Musketry Regulations, practically obselete, were entirely re-modelled, and are now up to date.

The Tournament programme was arranged as follows:— Easter Saturday: 9.30 a.m. Civic Reception. 10 a.m

Commencement of Lawn Tennis. 7.45 p.m. Debate in Town Hall.

Easter Monday: 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. Athletic Sports in Domain. 7.30 p.m. Moonlight Picnic.

Easter Tuesday: 9 a.m. Tennis Finals. Easter Wednesday: II a.m. Farewell to Southern

Guests in Piccadilly Tea Rooms. Easter Sunday : 3 p.m. Service at St. John's, Tam-

aki. Our Southern guests arrived on Easter Friday

morning in the Main Trunk and a perfect deluge of rain. In fact it rained on that unfortunate morning as it seldom can rain, even in Auckland. What the Southerners privately thought of our climate we can imagine ; for of course they were too polite to allow their thoughts utterance. Owing to the Tramway holiday—the only day in the year—there was some considerable trouble in conveying the

guests to those people who had generously offered to receive them for the week. The fact that the train was over two hours late did not improve matters. But they were all finally disposed of to everybody's satisfaction. A s there were some seventy visitors, all arriving en masse, we may con-sider it a great feat on the part of the Entertain-ment Committee, to have coped so satisfactorily with what was really a serious difficulty.

TENNIS.

OWING to the inclemency of the weather the Tennis Tournament was not commenced till Saturday afternoon. Even then the play was interrupted by showers, and the lawns, which were sodden to begin with, became worse as the afternoon progressed. The play, therefore, was not of a particularly brilliant order. Those visitors who had been accustomed to the fast play of asp-halt courts must have found the conditions extre-mely unsatisfactory. A s far as the Tennis itself was concerned, the afternoon was disappointing, the standard of play being somewhat low.

Play was recommenced on Monday morning, when the conditions were rather more favourable. The most interesting game was that between Gotz and Laurenson, which was contested stubbornly to the finish, Laureson winning by a narrow margin.

Tuesday morning saw all the matches brought to the finals, and ideal weather prevailed for the contests of the afternoon. In the Men's Singles, Laurenson, who had played a consisent game throughout, won the final by sheer persistency. He showed no weak point and thoroughly deserved his win.

Hawley, the runner up, played an extremely good game, and had he resorted more to attacking in the final the result might easily have been altered. Several times he was within a stroke of victory but failed, apparently through nervousness, to gain any decisive advantage.

In the Men's Doubles, Gotz and Hawley played good tennis throughout, and had no difficulty in coming through.

Miss Cumming was again the winner of the Ladies' Singles. She had no difficulty in getting into form after a protracted rest, and played her usual forceful and pretty game.

Duthie and Miss Cumming won fairly easy in the Combined Match, a result mainly owing to Miss Cumming's magnificent cross-court drives, which gave her partner the required chances at net. Duthie took full advantages of these opportunities, and gave a splendid exhibition of first-class tennis.

In the Ladies' Doubles, Miss Moore and Miss Miss Cumming proved too solid a combination for all comers. This was Miss Moore's first entry into University Tennis and she played a good, sound game-

Miss Cummings, as far as A.U.C. was concerned, was certainly the heroine of the day, and it was

16

wholly due to her efforts that A.U.C. regained the coveted cup.

This, by the way, is the first time we have had the privelege of entertaining a Vice-regal party at any Tournament function, in fact, as far as we know, we are the first of the Colleges to do so. We appreciate the interest of the Governor and his party in our doings, and hope that it is by no means the last time that we may have the pleasure of en-tertaining them.

A T H L E T I C S P O R T S .

THIS year as the sports were held in Auckland, travelling was obviated ; but unfortunately several of the team had rather much of the time that should have been utilised in training, taken up with Tournament affairs. From one point of view the Sports were very successful, in that six men out of the twelve secured points for us, viz: J W. Olphert, C. F Forsdick, N. C. McLean, C. J. Wily, N. R. W. Thomas, and F. J. Cox.

The weather was fair and the track good, so some fair times resulted.

The following is a summary of the events : — 120 YDS HURDLES

J. Bowden (C.U.C.) lst ,C. F. Forsdick (A.U C) 2nd. Time : 18secs. Forsdick led until the last two hurdles, but took five steps between the ninth and tenth, thus losing way, and allowing Bowden to shoot ahead.

880 YARDS FLAT F. W. Olphert (A.U.C.) 1st. H. S. Richards

(C.U.C.) 2nd. Time : 2min. 8secs. Olphert ran a good strong race, having the best of it all through.

THROWING THE HAMMER. J. M. Boyne (O.U.) 1st. N. C. McLean (A.U.C.) 2nd. Distance 123ft 3in. McLean threw well, but was outclassed by his opponent.

100 YARDS FLAT C. F. Forsdick (A.U.C.) and M. O. Barnett

(C.U.C.) 1st (dead heat). Time: 10 4-5secs. This was a most closely contested event, judging being very difficult.

MILE W A L K A. B. Seivwright (V.C.) 1st, N. R. W. Thomas

2nd. Time : 7inin 13 2-5secs. HIGH JUMP

J. Bowden (Y.C.) 1st, J. N. Waddell (O.U.) 2nd Height : 5ft 6J4ins. This created a record for N.Z. 'Varsity jumping, lowering J. N. Millard's (O.U.) record of 1911 by a quarter of an inch. Waddell also jumped splendidly clearing 5ft 5 l-8ins

440 YARDS FLAT

D. L. Muir (O.U.) 1st, F. J. Cox (A.U.C.) 2nd. Time : 55secs. Muir's performance was very good —one of the best track performances of the day. Cox unfortunately was run out coming into the straight, and could not make up lost ground in time.

THREE MILES FLAT H. Williams (V.C.) 1st, J. Hogg (O.U.) 2nd.

Time : 16min 10 2-5secs.

440 YARDS HURDLES R. T. Richards (C.U.C.) 1st, C. Blundell (O.U)

2nd, Time 66^secs.

LONG JUMP W. Findlay (O.U.) 1st, C. J. Wiley (A.U.C.)

2nd. Distance 21ft 9in. This was a splendid per-formance of Findlay's, who thoroughly deserved his win, defeating our man by some fifteen inches.

The 440 hurdles was the last event to count for the shield ; and at this stage Otago had obtained 1 1 H points and Canterbury lOJ/jj points. The con-test was therefore exceptionally keen. Richards (C.U.C.) won from Blundell (O.U.) by a fraction, and thus secured the shield for Canterbury. The points finally stood :

Canterbury 1 2 ^ Otago 12 Auckland Wellington 6

We congratulate Canterbury on their win; they deserved it.

A.U.C. as usual, carried off the Relay Cup, being respresented by A. R. Erickson, C. F. Fors-dick, C. N. Jacobsen, and J. W. Olphert.

D E B A T E . THE Debating contest was held in the Concert Chamber of the Town Hall on April 3rd. Mr. F. W. Lang, M.P., presided over a large attendance. The subject chosen was " Should the principle of an Elective Executive be substituted for the system of Party Government at present obtaining in New Zealand ? " The judges were Dr. W. C. W. Mc-Dowell, Mr. H. G. Cousins, M.A., and the Rev I. Jolly, M.A.

The speakers were as follows:—Canterbury : Messrs. A . O. Ponder, B.A., and H. G. Bell, B . A . ; Auckland: Messrs. R. E. D. Kinloch and L. Phillips; Victoria College : Messrs. L. M. Moss, B.A., and L. P. L e a r y ; Otago: Messrs. J. Johnson, B.A., and C. L. Bennett.

Mr. Ponder, who opened for Canterbury College, attacked the party system on the ground that it ex-cluded from the Cabinet men specially fitted for Ministerial office. Mr. R. E. D. Kinlock (Auck-land) said that to change to the system of Elective Executive was inexpedient and unnecessary. The present system ensued a continuity of policy and stability of Government, which the Elective Ex-ecutive would not give. Mr. Bell (Canterbury) con-tended that the Elective Executive, founded on a scientific principle, ensured administration which was fearless and firm. Mr. Phillips (Auckland) held that the elimination of Party would not follow the adoption of the Elective Executive system.

The Second Debate was opened in the affirm-ative by Mr. Moss (Victoria College), who said the Party system, when called upon in a National crisis, inevitably broke down. Mr. J. Johnson (Otago) contended that parties were necessary to put legis-lation through the House. Mr. Leary (Victoria College) said that public moneys were freely used to keep a party in office, and Governments too often entrenched themselves behind vested interests. Mr C. L. Bennett (Otago) said that under the present system half the members of Parliament did the business of the country, while the other half saw that it was well done.

The Judges held that Auckland and Victoria College had won their respective debates, and that

17

Victoria College had, in their united opinion, proved the better team. The result was therefore as follows :—Victoria College 1st, Auckland 2nd, Can-terbury 3rd, Otago 4th.

Of the individual speakers, Mr. L. P . L e a r y was conspicuously the best. The speakers were sub-jected to a considerable amount of " heckling" throughout the evening- Although allowance must be made for the well-known exuberance of spirits amongst a crowd of University Students at Tourna-ment time, yet this interruption must be regretted. It scarcely gives the speakers a fair chance, aad can hardly add to the enjoyment of our citizen-guests who, being interested in elocution, have come seriously to listen to the debate. W e can see little more excuse for this heckling of a speaker in a con-test of this description, than for a spectator to run out and jostle a man on the running-track. It may be said that all were treated alike in this respect. So they were ; the audience was certainly good natured and impartial; but an interruption that will scarcely ruffle one man may bring another to the verge of a breakdown. Of course anything that may tend to alleviate the extreme agony of the interminable, stricken hours of the capping-speeches may be welcomed as a gift of the Gods. Here the jus necessitas and the doctrine of self preservation intervenes. But students should recognise that the case of the debate is different It is not exactly fair play, and that being so, surely the argument is ended.

M O O N L I G H T PICNIC.

THE Moonlight Picnic took place on the Monday evening. The Entertainment Committee, who en-gineered the whole affair, chartered the Ferry Company's S. S. Kestrel, and punctually at 7.30 we left the wharf. For two hours or more some 250 Students with their friends, all bent on extracting the maximum amount of fun out of the evening, with a little extra if possible, cruised ab lib about the harbour. Then, after having gone round a "forty-devil way " — w e quote Chancer—we landed at Takapuna, where a tasty supper waited us in the Mon Desir Kiosk. During supper several musical items were rendered by Messrs. Luke (V.C.), C. F. Parsons (C.U.C.), and R o y A y l i n g (A.U.C.), who is now at the front. A s soon as space was available, we piled up tables and chairs indiscrimately in one corner, and started to dance in the supper-room, and on the wide verandah. W e wore boots, cer-tainly, and the boards were not as even as they might have been; but the propensity of 'Varsity Students en masse for enjoying themselves, is won-derful. A f t e r a time dancing began to alternate with strolls duetto in the charming moonlit grounds and [

(This part deleted by Censor)

.] W e " chased the glowing hours with flying feet," right enough, but we evidently did not chase fast enough, for they gradually drew away from us. The Ferry-boat's imperious siren suddenly and rudely cut short all our merriment, and we made our slow and regret-ful way on board. Al l , that is, except the chaper-

ones. Not that we barbarously marooned our in-nocent chaperones upon lonely Takapuna—far be such inhumanity from us!—but for the most excel-lent reason that there were none to take on board! No, of course we didn't do them foully to death. Wait till I explain. Chaperones among 'Varsity Students are distinctively out of place; they con-constitute an incongruity : they are an abomination in the sight of Man; of Woman too, I might say, but that Man naturally embraces woman—I speak generically of course; they are like unto the small boy that beareth a catapult, for there is neither, safety nor comfort when they are about. Ergo, dear reader, we brought none.

S E R V I C E A T ST. JOHN'S.

THE Warden of St. John's Ecclesiastical College the Rev. P. T . Williams, kindly extended an invi-tation to the local students and their visitors and friends to attend service at the College on the afternoon of Easter Sunday. This invitation was most gratefully accepted, and some hundred students were conveyed from the foot of Queen Street by means of special motor-'buses. His Lordship, Dr. Averi l l , gave a fine address to a packed congregation. A f t e r the service was over and the St. John's Students had dispensed afternoon tea, then followed a ramble over the old historic place, and the beautiful and extensive grounds. F e w Aucklanders, I think, realise what a charming and interesting spot St. John's is. The old chapel is probably unique in New Zealand. Its subdued half-lights softened and faintly tinged by the col-oured glass windows, the very atmosphere of seclusion and peace that hangs about it, recalls the " dim, religious light " of the past, as can few build-ings in this matter-of-fact New Zealand.

T O U R N A M E N T B A L L .

ON EASTER TUESDAY our visitors were enter-tained at a ball held in the Masonic Hall, Belgium Street, the proceeds going to the Belgian Relief Fund. The organisation was splendid, and a thoroughly enjoyable evening was spent. Just be-fore the climax of the evening supper the Athletic trophies were presented.

Canterbury received the Shield with the sol-emnity fitting such an occasion, and took the op-portunity of informing us in dulcet accents and var-ious keysthat "Canterbury can." Well, on the track they had showed us they could, which was more convincing. Owing to the vagaries of the English language, we are uncertain whether " c a n " refers merely to the present, or also to the future. We should like further demonstration next year. A t the end of the presentation when the wooden spoon should have been given to its winners—or would you call them losers ?—a sad and solemn announce-ment was made. The Wooden Spoon, the ancient historic symbol of so many lost Tournaments, had that evening breathed its last! It lay on the table in the Men's Cloak Room in solitary state and two pieces; covered with the glue, gloy, gum-arabic, and various other stickinesses that could be pro-cured on the spur of the moment; ample evidence of the feverish and futile attempts of a distracted Committee to restore it to its pristine grandeur,

18

Reader, ask not how it was broken; enquire not what envious hand cut it off in a hale old age.

" T o Phoebus was not Hyceinth so dear Nor to himself Narcissus, as to us Thou, Wooden Spoon. . . . "

And it will cost at least sixpence to get a new one.

ON Wednesday morning, at eleven oclock, we con-gregated in the Piccadilly Tea Rooms to take a last farewell of our guests. Mr. and Mrs. Newly-wed kindly provided the bulk of the entertainment. The tender leave-taking of the Southern visitors, greatly shocked our sense of decorum: very unfair indeed, we thought! They left by the Main Trunk : and thus ended a Tournament that was voted by all to be one of the best that had ever been held.

Next year the Tournament is to be held in Otago : and though the war has greatly interfered

with us in the past, and probably will do so more in the future, yet we hope to be able to send good strong representative teams from Auckland.

Financially the Tournament was not a great success. Wartime is not a good time in which to attract spectators to our functions, and also much of our proceeds was diverted from our account to that of the Belgian Fund. Otherwise, the Tourna-ment, we think, left little to be desired.

Without making invidious distinctions—for everyone of the officials did really sterling work— we should like to mention the immense amount of time and labour expended both by the Secretary, Mr. F. J. Cox, and by Mr. N. R. W. Thomas. Oar heartiest congratulations and thanks are due to both these members for the smooth and efficient manner in which all Tournament affairs were carried out.

Ab Auctoribus Variis.

19

How We Held Up Auckland

BY " A BANDITT."

" While thronged the citizens with terror dumb."—Byron. " Motley's the only wear."—" As You Like It."—II.-y. " These times touch two-eyed worldlings with dismay."—Wordsworth. " Al l hope abandon, ye who enter here."—Dante.

DEAR MR. " K I W I . " In the middle of July—or was it in June ? I

was never much good at figures—the Law Students feeling frisky, and incidentally Patriotic, secured the co-operation of the J. C. Williamson Panto-mime Company, that was then touring New Zea-land, to hold a Mock Court in His Majesty's Theatre. Accordingly they bethought them of all the wealthy citizens, and in due time sent each a summons of the true legal shade of blue, wherein the victims were whereased, wherebyed, and wherefored, we should imagine.

" Till the dim brain whirls dizzy. . . " Then, when the day of hearing had arrived, some twenty bold and lawless spirits, having arrayed themselves in as many fantastic guises, sallied forth under the leadership of the redoubtable " Janey " — pro tem generalsssimo, (Generalissimo Janeysounds nice, doesn't it ?) to request the attendance of the aforesaid wealthy citizens. First came a prelimin-ary march down Queen Street to imbue the towns-folk with the serious and painful nature of our business. Strange to relate they scarcely seemed

" A s if they already stood aghast A t the bloody work they should look upon."

But an hour or so altered that considerably. Then we boldly set forth upon our quest, in

cars kindly lent by the Automobile Association. This part of the work was not without its humours, which is to say good humour on the part of the policemen, and bad on that of the victims. Some came along quietly enough : some seemed even pleased to come. But the privilege of being mulcted did not, in every case, appeal to their sense of humour. Many, again, were pursuaded to come vi et armis, by which—for the benefit of those who were fortunate enough to dodge Latin in their youth—I mean that we had them fast by the arms, while they vied with us to cscape. There; a child ought to have known that! A few did not come at all. One man got quite rude, and said many things that I should love to tell you if only I could spell them. But the Oxford Dictionary is silent on the subject—not that it's ever much given to chat-ing. One general manager, after we had carried him down three flights of stairs (dropped him twice by the way,, but he would kick so) we discovered to be not himself, but the chief clerk. Anyway by the language the man used we might have known he wasn't himself. One would-be (or at least would-not be) victim saw us afar off, and promptly evacuated the fortress from the rear. W e sat down in that shop, and admired the laces and bebe-ribbons, etc., until our charming hostess arrived to inform us that Mr. H a had gone to Stanley Bay, and that she wished we would go to

another spot which Shelley refers to as possessing " a hyper-equatorial climate." We had such a nice little chat with her, don't you know. Conversation never flagged for a moment. The crowd were so interested, and I say, you ask M. C. about the little lass on the doorstep. Another one of them we chased round and round his shop till the wax busts got giddy and had hysterics—but, coy as he was, we got him in the end.

Inside the Court the excitement was at fever-pitch. Jock McCardle and Barry Lupino, as Judge and Crown Prosecutor, were incomparable. Barry's flow of wit kept the house rocking. It was true spontaneous wit, too, such as is found only in your true comedian. When Jasper gravely stated that he did not bet, with what echo-like swiftness was flung back at him "You're no better for that." And, when a sporty defendant offered to " toss the Court double or quits," with what amazing promp-titude and engaging smile did Jock reply : " Exactly; that's double, and now its quits 1" Phil Percival's domestic revelations, too, were of a somewhat startling nature. And the side-ornaments of the Court; those benches-crosswise-placed—with their rich assortment of feminine alluringness; those charming oases in the arid Desert of Justice, that did duty as a jury! t Truly was the miserable cul-prit placed between Scylla and Charybdis. Scylla fined him five pounds " f o r wearing moustaches more than half-a-yard long, or, in that being a chemist you do live on 'the bottle,' and Charybdis, with the most charming of smiles—made it six! A few were enticed, decoyed, captured, or otherwise conveyed out of the audience, and fined in due form—a proceeding that seemed entirely fitting. As Goldsmith has adequately put i t :

" A n d those who came to scoff, remained to pay."

The first victim—the manager of a prominent city bank—came up " looking pale and composed," and was duly mulcted. He seem to think freedom cheap at the price. The unpardonable offence of having once undercharged a client, cost Percy £3 3s We can scarce believe it true. Such a thing hath not been heard of since the first lawyer got the neanderthal cave-dweller acquitted on the charge of assaulting his mother-in-law with a stone axe. Anyway, if he did absent-mindedly err in this fashion, he probably assuaged the pangs of con-science on the next client. Prof. W——'s well-known propensity to the illicit manufacture of " stinks " cost his £3 3s. Prof. O in consider-ation that, nominally, there was something owen by him, left £22sin our care. (Niceofhim, wasn't it?) Prof. J n, in that bearing such a name, he was yet not of a pugnacious disposition, also made a

20

little donation. Mr. L , a well-known dentist of this town, paid the penalty for " practicing gum-digging without the necessary licence ; " while P. H 's roadside amours cost him £6. Mr. R. Lxxb, in that he neglected to bespeak space for himself in the freezer, was also fleeced. Nay, sir, look not so sheepish ; we would offer a seasonable word of comfort. Is not the wind tempered to the shorn Lamb ? A well-known member of the hos-pital board, having once told a patient what was really the matter with him, was duly mulcted. We sympathise deeply. Remember, it was a first and only offence, and besides was a pure accident no doubt. Mr. F , Commissioner of Stamps, was charged with having "once sold a stamp, having omitted first to lick same." Well, perhaps he did; but even if a man is Commissioner of Stamps, you can't expect him to have a tongue as long as that of the great anteater. But I must make an end, or this account will be as long as the above-mentioned linginal-appendage, and not nearly as useful. Suffice it t o state that we made £900 clear, and gave the denizens of Auckland a little food for serious consideration. By the way, you may notice, my dear Apteryx, that I have prefixed a few little quotations. [If they are not quite right

you must blame the memory of my friend Mr. Wordsworth, who is the only literateur who so far seems to have found his way down to where I sojourn, except Milton and Dante, that is; who were sent down here for a while to see how erron-eously they had described this place in their poetry. Virgil and Homer,who didn't know any better were let off with a strict caution. You know books are so expensive here, owing to their being necessarily printed on asbestos, that only the very wealthy can afford them]. But to continue, the first quotation is for the populace: the second for ourselves. The third and fourth the " kind donators " may appro-priate. The audience! Why we've forgotten them. How silly. Nevermind: "With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come." Now we're all happy.

Well, I must fly, or I'll be late for an appoint-ment with my two bosom friends Cleg Kelly and Buffalo Bill, to rob the wraith of Solomon's temple this evening. They say there are a lot of gold cups and things there. (I say! not 'arf eh ?) Well, good-bye, old bird.—Yours very sincerely,

Richard L. Turpiti, Esq.—Shade

201, Inferno Avenue, Gehenna.

Clippings

The four following Advertisements appeared not long ago in a leading Auckland paper:—

" Man, able-bodied, capable, wants sanitary plumbing."

* * *

" Woman, respectable, wants washing." [Try the Secretary of the M.C.R.C., madam:

he's had plenty of practice in washing lately.] * * J

W e , the Milk Supply Co., do not need to water our milk our farms giving us plenty.

[The water main might be handier, we venture to suggest.]

* * *

"Please take notice that I will not be respon-sible for any debts she contracts from this time on."

Signed. John

For Sale a table, by a man about to leave the Colony, with mahogany polished inlaid top, six legs, convertible for billiards."

[Quite right not to stop they've started a zoo here.]

in Auckland, sir;

'•Mr. H was killed to-day by a horse an-noyed by flies smashing the vehicle he was driving. —Mirror.

[Truly a dangerous kind of fly! W e do not wonder the horse—sagacious animal—was annoyed]

Extract from recent Sermon in Auckland :— " No doubt was an excellent liver according

to his lights. . . . [No. Too anatomical for us.]

21

Traditur

That the mumber of the Rifle Club that prefer to go out on Wednesday afternoons has greatly in-creased during the past two months. We also hear that there is also a " beautiful hay-stack " out there. W e haven't heard of anyone hitting it yet. Most likely it is somewhere in line with the target. * * *

That many of the frequenters of the Men's Common-Room are learning to walk up the wall like a fly, and prambulate the ceiling inverted in anticipation of another hockey (?) match coming off. * * *

That the condition of a certain venerable building situate behind the Supreme Court, and at present suffering from aggravated senile decay, is causing some worthies in high positions a good deal of concern. We sincerely trust that its wraith will haunt them. • • *

That a chaperone is needed at the Scientific Society's star-gazing evenings. ["Honi soit qui mal y pense."]

• • *

That the monotony of those interminable stricken hours passed in the Latin room is occasion-ally relieved by the proceedings in the adjoining Common-Room.

* • •

That Khaki is becoming the fashion at Coll. nowadays. (By the way someone bright has said that the best key to unlock the feminine heart just at present is—Khaki.)

* * *

That the dredge, down the harbour, has set up an opposition shop during lecture time. More professional jealousy.

* * *

That overcoats, umbrellas, etc., have a habit of walking out of the Corridor, suo sporte on rainy nights. Hath not the great Spokeshave said ;

" W h o steals my coat, steals trash ; But he who filches from me my umbrella, Is fit for treasons, stratagems and spoils. . . ."

That we sympathise with Dr. Buchanan—after a certain incident he couldn't sleep for a week.

• * *

That " after a wire has been stretched exces-sively it doesn't return to its original length any longer.

"Most excellent wise young man." * * •

That " Order, please " is ambiguous. * • *

That you may distinguish a good chemist by noticing if he works in his best clothes.

* * *

That even the Devil isn't safe with fire. * * •

That limestone seems to have come to stay. * * *

That the Renaissance in the art of notice-writing was sadly needed.

* » »

That Epsom Salts are not so nice as choclates. (Mean trick, wasn't it ?)

• * *

That "spooning" in the Bio-Chemistry Lab. should be discontinued.

• • *

That a certain Prof, didn't go to the Cook Islands for his honeymoon after all.

* # «

That another certain Prof, did not advise his lecture-class to read Don Juan. We are surprised. From what we can gather, it is the first book that has come under discussion for years that they have not been strongly advised to read.

Binks : " They say old Prof. Dammitt has been airing his knowledge of Latin again."

Spinks : " Why, how's that ? " Binks : " Oh, he was hard up for another book-

case, so got an old Tea-chest somewhere, and put up over the top:' Ta Docet,' thou Teachest.

• * •

" I, Hermann von Adolphus, vos wish to ask Zose whom it may concern, zat I vos not be one Shermans mit mineself. Mine Vader vos Ameri-can, and my Mudder vas a Frenchman; and I vos be one Australian. Ach Gott 1 but I vos."—Advt.

Uncle Sam: (after North Sea Engagement) " Waal, I guess you've had some scrap, old 'oss. They tell me you have had to tow one of those new spitfire battle-cruiaers of yours home."

John Bull : '" Oh I yes : we towed the ' L i o n ' home, alright ; and while we were about it toed the rest of the German Squadron home as well."

[The German-subsidised press in America is mak-ing a good deal of capital out of the temporary disablement of the 'Lion.'—Daily Telegraph.]

22

Student Summer Conference

THE New Zealand Summer Conference of the Australasian Student Christian Movement will be held this year in the Auckland Province, and in all probability, at either Te Kuiti or Te Awamutu.

Many Auckland Students have been awaiting their opportunity of attending a Conference to be held nearer home, and our turn has at last come round again. Student Conferences have been held in Australia and New Zealand during the past seventeen years. Gatherings of this sort have proved of such high value to University and Col-lege students, that wherever in the world there is an organised Student Christian Movement, we find regular Summer Conferences.

" Conference " as it is popularly so called is a meeting of keen and happy students—keen on mak-the very best out of their lives—happy, as students always are happy when brought together in large numbers for a common purpose.

The man who has attended one Conference needs no invitation to go a second time, and to many this week of the year has always been one of the brightest, happiest, and most inspiring periods in their life. It is not a long way to Te Awamutu, so, in making plans for the Summer vacation, make them to include the week at Conference. You will not regret it.

We Should Like to Know

IF the member of the Literary Club who read:—" I trust my master be not gone in the wind," was thinking of next day's hockey.

* • *

If it is true that the members of the Ladies' Common-Room cannot refain from talking scandal even at Literary Club meetings.

* » •

What the little lass said to Policeman Melton on the step of the drapery shop. It was really a most touching episode.

• • *

Whether, in view of a certain Prof.'s serious announcement that Charles Lamb was very fond of John Fuller, Charlie's well-known weakness for roast pig was also extended to Pig's whistle: or whether the worthy Prof, had merely been taking some harmless relaxation at the Vaudeville the night before. Quien Sabe ?

* * *

Whether the Men's Common Room is not finding the demands for butter from the Common-Room across the way, becoming a trifle expensive. (By the way Margarine makes a tip-top butter to jend.)

When the Secretary of the M.C.R.C. is going to take steps to have all those Magazines, Carnival Programmes, etc., at present blocking the door-way, removed to a more suitable place.

* * *

Exactly how fast those molecules were going. We didn't quite catch the adjective, Professor.

Why the patient didn't " respond to the stim-ulus " the other evening. You weren't using the head ot the pin by accident were you, Professor ?

* * *

What a certain quintet of Policemen would have done to the student they pursued through the boarding-house that Saturday afternoon. Also whether the lady's room that Constable X , got into by mistake was tenanted or not.

* * *

Whether Mr. and Mrs. Newly wed really en-joyed our company at the Piccadilly that Wednes-day morning as much as they pretended they did.

» • *

Who is the Auckland legal light whom certain unkind people have named " Old Necessity" be-cause he " knows 110 law ? "

23

Ars Poetica

V O I C E S O F T H E N I G H T .

Semi-Chorus of Witches:— " When the flaming, blood-red ball From the west doth noiseless fall Deep into the night's black bowl; When the daylight creatures flee, And the owl from out her hole In the aged, moss grown tree, Silent flits into the night; In fantastic company Flock we out in unblest rite, A nd unholy revelry : Thro' the fever-struck morass, Where the muffled death-bell tolls, And the heavy, foetid breath Of the pestilential fog, Slowly rotting leaf and log, Fill the very air with death : And the Thing coiled in the grass Closer shrinks into its folds, Softly hissing as we pass."

Semi-chorus of Elves— " Lightly we tread thro' the Summer eve,

Singing, Singing And mysterious mazy fancies weave While the echoes of woodland song we leave

Ringing, ringing. Thro' the sombre glade, o'er the moonlit lawn, Across the brook, thro' the nodding corn, Where the poppies red are springing : And the old owl moans in the swamp forlorn, And the beetle winds his tiny horn On his homeward way awinging, Till the silken curtains of the dawn, Aside are softly swinging. Then the paling stars and the saffron skies, And the East Wind's caressing warning, Say the burning sun is about to rise : Haste Home ! Haste home e're the morning,

Beware 1 Beware of his fiery glare ; For 'tis death to be caught in the dawning."

Semi-chorus of Witches— " Shun we e'en the lifeless beams Of the pale moon, as she gleams From the rift in yon dark cloud : Thro' the voiceless night we flee, That the darkling night fogs shroud 'Neath their sable canopy . . . What hast found ? A snake ? A toad ? Add it to the charmed load.

Semi-chorus of Elves:— " But when hoar Winter wraps the land

In its still, white shroud of death ; And fetters the world with an icy band And majestic wave of his awful hand,

And the blast of his frosted breath ; In the sleeping heart of the Earth below We pixies hide from the numbing snow,

Marble-cold : a Life in Death

And the flame of his eyes darts down thro' the skies

To our darkling caverns under ; And like ghosts in the tomb at the Trump of

Doom We crouch from the roaring thunder ;

As, between the flashes, his hammer crashes, Riving the rocks in sunder.

Till with flowers at her feet, blushing soft and sweet,

Like a maiden from her bower, With ringing laugh, Spring strews his path

With many an op'ning flower: And at that fair token, his terror broken,

He bows to her subtle power. Then up, up we go from our vaults below;

And the carol we gaily sing, Flitting two and fro like a shadow-show, Now in mazy whirl, now in stately row,

Or in fantastic fairy ring ; While the weird, sweet elfin-no^es throb and

flow, Is the harmony of Spring."

Semi-chorus of Witches:— See ! The walls of Night are riven ! We can hear Dawn's phantom steps A s she treads the floor of Heaven."

Chorus: Elves and Witches— The silken streamers of the Dawn, With hues of pearl and rose unfurled, Stream out across a sightless World Where the Night's dark robe is torn. Swift towards us leaps the Day : 'Ere the morning-billow breaks, 'Ere the sleeping Earth awakes,

We must be away, away !

Elves alone " We in the air, you on the ground,"

Witches—

" Whirl we madly round and round."

All— " Huge upon us strides the Day ; Thro' th' abysses of the Night, Swifter, swifter be our flight ; Haste, A h ! Haste away ! "

Echo (in the distance)— " Haste away . . . away . . . *'

— W.

BOMB PROOF.

We are far from the Infantry Line We are out of the enemy's reach

But still we contrive To keep safely alive

In our little Boom-proof on the Beach.

24

P R O P A T R I A .

It's only a hole in the hill Each day we dig out a bit more

With bags that we steal We're beginning to feel

We are keeping the shells from the door.

The work is a labour of love And now it is finished at last

The shrapnel may s h n p But we don't care a scrap

The " Bomb-Proof Kings " all will " Stand Fast."

There are shells that will hurry us in And Lyddite will lovingly screech

But little we care With our heads hiding there

In our little Boom-proof on the beach.

Our home is a dwelling of joy Uutil a shell comes within reach

When sad to relate We e—vacuate

Our little Bomb-proof on the Beach.

We come back to our haven of Peace To lie down and thankfnlly rest

But we find with dismay That it's all blown away

Our Little Clay Home has gone West. —D.S.C.

P O L A N D .

Fair Poland ! How two centuries of war And desolation have enshrouded Thee In mourning? Thro' the hand of Tyranny Struck Thy defenceless head and laid Thee low, Thou sank ; yet didst not cringe beneath the blow. Awake I The night of sorrow is o'erpast : Fierce in thine ear a joyful trumpet-blast— Yet terrible—is blazoning, " Liberty."

Awake ! Arise ! It is a trump of Doom : The doom of Tyrants. It is Freedom's morn. Fresh buds burst forth from Liberty's cold

tomb. Lo ! In th« East a glorious day is born : For o'er Thee long in Terror and Gloom The " Darkest Hour " has hung i but now—

The Dawn. —Androvitcli Revetskir

The call catne forth : 'twas the call to arms, To leave their all for the Empire's sake ;

To strive for the Right mid war's alarms. They heard the call: 'twas their's to forsake

Whate'er they enjoyed—the sweet pleasures of L i fe—

For the Camp, and the Field, and the merciless Strife.

The call has come : 'Tis the call of Death. For some are laid in a lonely grave

In Egypt's sands,—with softened breath Breathe a prayer—and the gently-heaving wave

Rocks some in sleep, Not theirs the fame Of glorious feats—the remembered name.

For some, a name in a hurried hand, A wooden cross, or the rough-piled stones ;

A mound of clay in a far-off land ; A soldier's coat and the whit'ning bones,

Where they fought and fell for Liberty On the shell-scarred steeps of Gallipoli.

—R.S.R.F.

T O C E L I A .

The old days are gone forever, With their sentimental fever,

With their fervid love of flirting, and their trusting faith in men:

When her heart was soft as butter, And was always known to flutter

When the fellow that she looked at turned and looked at her again.

And that tender side-long glance At the Picnic or the Dance

Is now bestowed thro' spectacles on Cicero and Skeat :

And that tantalizing hair That once fluttered everywhere,

Is now screwed up behind her head in a bob severe and neat.

For the Prosy and Pedantic Have extinguished the Romantic,

And her heart is void and empty as a used tomato can :

She is now so far from tender That she seems to have lost gender,

And to be as unsusceptible as any married man. —Flamma Pristina

25

Not Understood

[BY TOM B. RACKEN]

With heart palpitating 'neath Cicero's stern precepts on morality, (half of which we are sure he never practised,) and a mind saturated with the spirit of the classics, is it any wonder that my old friend Gravissimus found something very unseemly in the following conversation overheard in the Library one sleepy afternoon.

" Have you seen Quin about to-day ?" [" A h ! Quin—Quominus, never could distinguish

accurately between them. But I've seen both about often enough. Let's see; Quin-etiam . . . Qyin immo. . . ."] " No there was hardly any-one about this morning. Algie was down for a while, though."

[" Alga—algae: a seaweed. Used proverbially of anything of little value. . . . yes."]

" You know, I'm sick of this beastly swat; aren't you ? "

["Sic. . . .sic ut. He ought to know an . adverb can't qualify a pronoun! Sic ut, what ?"]

" Was Outram down to-day ? " " Yes by him-self."

[" This is too much! You hardly ever get Utrum without an an, and then only in indirect questions.]

" Anne! Indeed ! I've never seen them to-gether. Anything doing ? "

Gravissimus, who had this time uttered his thoughts aloud, got up and strode down the Library in his most dignified way. "Crass ignorance! Im-possible crowd! Di meliora ferant!" The listener heard as the door closed magna cum clamore behind him.

" Before the introduction of coined money in Greece,', says a learned writer on antiquities, ' spikes of iron and copper were tlie currency."

" I'll cut you off with an obolus, sir ! " roared the irate father, as he stabbed his heir in the back with all his available small change.

* * *

Science Student: " I say, Jack, when was Prof. Worley Owen ? "

Law Student: " When was he Owen? I don't know."

Science Student: " When he was a Dettermann of course."

[Prompt decease of S.S.]

* * *

A certaii- A.U.C. Student had a peculiar ex-perience the other day. He was called up on the 'Phone and when he got there a masculine voice said: " W i l l you please remove the body of your dead child from the General Hospital."

" What !" gasped the Student. " Y o u r kid's died : we want it taken away." " What are you talking about ? " " Oh ! aren't you Number so and so ?" "No, I'm such-and-such a number." " O h ! sorry. Got wrong number. Ring off,

please." [How tactfully and gently these Hospital

Authorities must break the news in such cases.] " A N D S T I L L H E R E A D S ON !"

26

Clubs and Societies

C H R I S T I A N UNION.

THE activities of the Union throughout the year have been directed mainly to the organising of Bible Study Circles and of addresses by prominent speakers and Ministers of the city.

The text-book adopted by the Study Circles was Oldham's " Teachings of Jesus," which proved a very helpful and profitable study.

The first general meeting of the year was ad-dressed by Prof. Dettmann on the subject of " University Life." These meetings have been con-tinued throughout the year, the various speakers being: "Christianity and the War," (Rev. Monck-ton), " Sin and Redemption," (Rev C. H. Laws), " Our Belief in Immortality," (Rev. Dr. Scott), "Daylesford Conference" (Miss Wilson), and "Social Service," (Messrs. H. R. Urquart and K. J. Dellow).

On Easter Sunday a special service for students was held in St. John's Chapel, Tamaki.

In June, Miss Wilson, lady travelling secretary for New Zealand, paid us her annual visit. Many opportunities to meet her were given to students during the three weeks of her stay.

T w o enjoyable Conferences were held this year, one at Waikowai Park, and the other at Three Kings.

In common with other Societies the Union has suffered serious losses through the war. Many of those who have left us were taking a very active part in the work of the Union. We trust that our loss will prove a great gain to those among whom they will be found fighting for their King and Country—N. A Jory, Recording Sec.

L I T E R A R Y CLUB.

IN 1914 the Literary Club was revived after a year's liberation. With the finances of the Club in a healthy condition, everything pointed to a suc-cessful future. This promise has been amply ful-filled. A Club of this nature should play a large part in College life. Specilisation in one or two subjects, particularly scientific subjects, tends to induce narrowmindedness. For a " complete and generous education" some literary and social re-laxation is indispensible. This the Literary Club supplies. We read selections from standard English authors: and papers on various literary subjects are read before us by different members. The pro-grammes this session have been very varied. The business of the Annual General Meeting was fol-lowed by readings from Carlyle, Emerson, Jane Austen, Stevenson, and Sheridan.

On April 30th scenes were read from " T w e l f t h Night," providing a most enjoyable evening. A t the beginning of the first term vacation, an evening was devoted to the proposal scenes from Hardy, Lowell, Richardson, Goldsmith, Dickens, and Sheridan Knowles.

Early in the second term critical papers were read on : " Elizabeth Barrett Browning," by Mr. A .

B. Tay lor ; " Parody in the Early XlXth Century," by Miss Hames; and " Patrick MacGill," by Mr. Arden. A rather too generous supply of rain un-fortunately limited the attendance.

Perhaps the most successsul reading of the year was Scenes from Sheridan K n o w l e s ' " T h e Love-Chase." These were brilliantly rendered.

The Second Term was concluded by a miscel-laneous evening, selections being given from Ben Johnson, Francis Thompson, Sheridan, and Charles Kingsley.

In spite of the loss of members through the war, the season has been eminently successful. Generous support has been given by all classes of students, and the attendance has been excellent. A most pleasing feature has been the general willing-ness to take part in the readings. The Club should, in the future, be a great factor in College Life. —Fred W. Baxter, Hon. Sec.

A.U.C. D E B A T I N G S O C I E T Y . " C h o i c e word and measured phrase above the reach of

ordinary men." . . . . —Wordsworth. WE are pleased to report that in spite of the gen-eral depression caused by the war, when everything seems to be at a standstill, the Debating Society has had a most prosperous year, and is in a flourish-ing condition. The Society this year has taken a new lease of life. The roll of members is almost as high as it has ever been in the history of the Society, and, what is of more importance, the mem-bers have been regular in their attendance, and the speakers have never experienced the calamity of addressing their carefully prepared eloquence to a row of stolid wooden benches. We feel that a great deal of this success is due to the interest taken in the Society by the first-year students. This is very gratifying indeed, for it assures the prosperity of the Society for many years to come. This year we have been more than usually fortunate in gaining the interest of the new students, and among them some talent of a very high order has been unearthed. Mr. Ryburn has secured a place in the Society's Senior team, in the Athenaeum Cup debates. He has shown himself a very keen and able debator. Mr. Davis, another first-year student, was success-ful in winning the Oratorical Contest held during the second term. He also spoke well in the Ora-torical Contest in the Athenaeum Cup Competition. Mr. Reynolds has taken a prominent part in the Society during the year, and is a very promising speaker. He has spoken in the University B team in the Athenaeum Cup Competitions. A consider-able number of other first-year students have at-tended the meetings, and have joined in the debat-ing during the year. We have also noted with pleasure the interest taken in the Society by the ladies of the College. They have attended the de-bates regularly, and in good numbers, and their presence has been a source of inspiration to many a wretched debator in sore difficulties upon the plat-form. Four of the ladies have spoken in the de-bates during the year, Miss Battersby, Miss Brendel,

27

Miss Egerton, and Miss Garrard. They are to be congratulated on the able way in which they de-bated. We wish that more ladies would follow their example.

The debating during this year has been gener-ally of a very high standard. The sesson opened with an evening devoted to speeches and readings relating to the war. A number of short ten-minute speeches were made, and several of the best poems written during the war were read by members of the Society. The Parliamentary debate, held shortly after, was a pronounced success. Rangitoto, Oio, Drunken Bay, Waimangu Geyser, and several other large centres of population were ably represented. The Premier very suitably commented upon the mud-slinging propensities of the member for Wai-mangu Geyser. A number of general debates were held during the year, but space does not permit our reporting them in detail. It will suffice to say that they were all keenly and ably debated. The Ora-torical contest, as mentioned above, was won by Mr. Davis. There were eleven competitors in all. Mr. Shove gained second place, and Mr. Kerruish, and Mr. Taylor, were placed equal for third. Al l the speeches were good, and Mr. Davis is to be con-gratulated on his win. We must here thank the Executive of the Students' Association which allotted us a grant of two guineas to provide a medal for the winner of this competition. The Inter-Faculty debate was won after a very close contest, by the Arts team. Teams from Arts, Science, Law and Commerce, competed in the con-test.

W e would here like to thank the gentlemen who have acted in the capacity of judges in the debates held during the year. W e realise that the position of judge is not a very easy, and often a very thankless one. We desire, therefore, to offer our warmest thanks to those who have given up their time to help us in this way.

We would also like to express our appreciation of the services of our Honorary President, Professor Maxwell Walker. He has acted as judge in two of our debates, and has offered a very handsome prize of books for the winner of the Competitive Debate. For the subject of his Presidental Address he choose the dramatist, Bernard Shaw. He secured the services of several friends who read scenes from the different plays to illustrate his address. There was a large attendance of members, and the address was keenly enjoyed by all present.

The Society has taken a very prominent part in the Athenaeum Cup Debates. T w o teams have been entered for the competition, one in the A grade, and the other in the B grade. Both teams have so far been very successful. Mr. Kinloch was placed in both the Impromptu Speech Contest and the Oratorical Contest. The Senior team defeated the Ponsonby club representatives in a debate on the question " T h a t Poverty is a question of Edu-cation rather than of Government." The Junior team has won both the debates in which it has been engaged, against teams from Y.M.C.A. and St. Luke's.

On the whole we have good reason to be pleased with the work done by the Society during the year. But although our roll of members is large, we would like to see it larger still. The faculty of speaking well in public is so important to every-

body, that it seems a pity that anyone should miss the chance of learning to speak with confidence, which is offered by a Society such as ours. We hope that next year still further progress will be able to be reported.

A.U.C. SCIENTIFIC S O C I E T Y .

FEW Societies in this College can claim to have made such phenomenal strides, or to have enrolled so many—75—members in the first year of their ex-istence as this Society has. lis formation was not the outcome of any sudden happy inspiration ; for amongst those most insterested the matter had been under consideration for twelve months. A t a general meeting called in the third term of last year the Society was officially inaugurated, and a committee consisting of Miss Tizard and Messrs. Gray, Vickerman, Caradus and Comrie was estab-lished to drsw up a provisional constitution. This constitution, with a few slight alterations, was adopted at another general meeting held in March last. The Society aims at the introduction of papers of general scientific interest, and at the dis-cussion of the subject introduced by the paper.

The meetings of the Society have been con-spicuously successful. The first was held on April 17th, when about seventy students assembled in the scientific atmosphere of the Chemical Theatre to hear Professor Segar's Presidential Address on " What the Telescope Reveals." By a series of lantern slides the Professor showed the influence of the telescope in extending our knowledge of the sun, moon, planets, and stars. A fortnight later, on May 3rd, sixty people assembled to hear the first papers read by students. An "attempt was made to show how inseparable from science is the principle of Conservation of Energy. Mr. G. H. Battersby took up the cudgels on behalf of Chemistry, Mr. E. J. Russell on behalf of Physics, while Miss Batters-by's illustrations were from Biology, and Mr. W. A. Gray's from Engineering. The discussion which followed centered round the question " Whence does the sun gets its energy ? " the theories of comets falling into the sun, and of the contraction of the sun being put forward.

An excursion to Nihotapu was arranged for May 8th, but owing to rain had to be postponed. The members of the society were to have been the guests of Professor and Mrs. Dettmann at their summer residence—Tipperary.

A t this point we were unfortunate in losing our Student Chairman, Mr. N. L. Vickerman, who left to join the 6th Reinforcements. Mr. Vicker-man was one of the original movers in the format-ion of the Society, and although we miss his tactful wisdom and business-like management, we cannot but commend his noble spirit which induced him to offer his services to his country at a time when he was fully conscious of the dangers to which he would be exposing himself. Mr. M. J. Gilbert has been elected to fill his position.

A t the next meeting, held on June 14th, Miss K. M. Curtis, the New Zealand 1851 Exhibition Scholar for this year, read an ideal paper on " Orchids," illustrating her subject by lantern slides. Miss Curtis was congratulated on her achievement in winning such a coveted Scholarship. The meet-

28

ing then adjourned to the General Lecture Room to see and hear Mr. G. W. Wilson's exposition of Hypnotism.

On July I2th, Miss Tizard read an interesting paper on " Hybrids," and Mr. M. G. Pezaro gave a condensed account of the different theories regard-ing the " Age of the Earth."

On the following Thursday afternoon the Society held its first excursion, when about six-teen men visited the Colonial Sugar Refining Com-pany's works at Chelsea. The manager, Mr. Mil-ler, conducted us over the works, and spared no pains to explain the details of each process. The cleanliness and economy with which the various operations are carried out made the visit partic-ularly interesting, and our best thanks are due to Mr. Miller for his kindness.

The Society held on August 9th a most suc-cessful Social Evening, attended by seventy or eighty members. Mr. V. R. Browne, by a series of well selected and well explained experiments, en-abled us to dip for a while into the mysteries and beauties of " Soap Bubbles." After this a smelling competition provided amusement for the company, and then a "spoon-feeding" competition, which created endless laughter, was arranged. Finally we concluded a most enjoyable evening by par-taking of what is known in College phraseology as a "petit souper." On the following Wednesday, August nth, some twenty-five members paid a visit to the Auckland City Council's Power House; Mr. Wylie, the manager, and Mr. W. Wilson acted as guides. The Society hopes to be able to hold its excursion to Nihotapu in the week foiling the Term's Exam.

The College Telescope has been open to mem-bers of the Society every Thursday evening, but few have availed themselves of the privilege of using it, except on June 19th., the occasion of the visit of Mellish's Comet.

The Society has elected two Life-members viz, ex-Professors F. D. Brown and A. P. W. Thomas; we feel that this honour is due to these two worthy men who for over thirty years were connected with the Scientific Department of our College.

The remaining meetings for this session are fixed as follows :— Sept. 20. The Auckland West Coast

Mr. M. J. Gilbert Explosives - Mr. L. J. Comrie

Oct. 4. Coal and Its. Products Mr. W. Caradus Modern Electrical Developments

Mr. N. A . Jory —L.J. Comrie, Hon Sec.

• - —

T H E C O L L E G E T E L E S C O P E .

" T h e n felt I like some watcher of the skies when a new planet swims into his k e n . " — K e a t s .

A U C K L A N D U N I V E R S I T Y C O L L E G E r a n k s w i t h Canterbury College in the possession of a six-inch equatorial telescope, though perhaps only a small proportion of the students are aware of its exist-ence. I have made many attempts to unearth the early history of this instrument, but have encount-ered great difficulties. It appears that it was first brought to Auckland in 1874 to observe the Transit of Venus in that year. It was set up in the outer

domain on a site which was marked until recently by a little heap of stones ; lately a wooden erection has replaced the stones. I have seen the site marked on old Survey maps as "Transit of Venus Pillar." The next ten years of the telescope's his-tory are obscure, but in 1884 when the late J. McCosh Clark retired from his three years term in the Mayoral chair, the public of Auckland pur-chased the instrument from Mr. Gillies, of Dunedin, and presented it to him, as a silver inscription plate testifies. It was set up at his residence (now King's College) where it remained till after his departure for England in 1889. Professor Thomas, who was a personal friend of Mr. Clark's, used to give lectures and demonstrations at the Observatory. A few years later the instrument, which was suffer-ing from neglect, was brought to College, where it has remained ever since. The thanks of the Col-lege were tendered to Mr. and Mrs. Clark, for granting the use of the telescope to the College, by resolution unanimously passed by the Council on the 20th December, 1894, and similar thanks were given on the 16th November, 1896, to Mr. and Mrs. Clark for granting the College the use of a celestial globe. Mr. Clark died in England in 1898, while his widow returned to New Zealand in 1900. A few weeks ago Mrs Clark presented the instrument to the College; the best thanks of all students are due to her for her generous gift.

It is now housed in a little room with a sliding roof at the top of the brick tower above the room that served as a strong room in the days when the House of Parliament met in our College Buildings. A strong iron pillar rigidly connected to the brick walls supports the barrel, which is about eight feet long. The method of mounting is that known as equatorial, i.e. the instrument is free to move in two planes one of which is fixed perpendicular to the earth's axis. This enables an operator to follow a star when once it has been found by arresting the motion in one plane, and swinging the instrument in the other plane only. There is a graduated circle with verniers connected with each plane, one circle being divided so as to read to minutes of arc, and the other to four seconds of time. With the aid of these one can easily find a bright star in the daytime, or locate a faint object whose co-ordin-ates are known. A driving clock attached to the instrument, and designed to compensate for the rotation of the earth when one is following a star, is in a very unsatisfactory condition, and can be used only occasionally. The objective itself is a six-inch glass, but cannot be made to yield results better than a modern four-inch. This is partly to be accounted for by the vibrations to which it is subjected. As for the eyepices, there is a range covering magnifications from 40 to 300, but it is seldom that atmospheric conditions permit the use of any magnification greater than 200.

With an instrument such as this at our dis-posal it seems to me remarkable that more students do not take an interest in Astronomy The mar-vellous rings of Saturn, the lunar mountains, the spots on the sun, the belts and satellites of Jupiter, the great nebula in Orion, the clusters of the Milky Way, the dazzling twins of Alpha Centauri, all un-fold their glories to it. Yet W . M. Jones M.Sc., our 1913 Rhodes Scholar was the first student to take an active interest in the subject. This term

29

there will be opportunities of seeing the new moon, and the ever changing aspect of Jupiter and hissatel-lites.lt is hoped that these words will stimulate a new interest in an historic instrument and its uses.

—Astros.

L E C E R C L E M O L I E R E .

M. le Professeur Maxwell Walker Mile Nutsford, M. Matheson M. W o r k e r M. Senior Miles Dobbie et Kenderdine, M. Dugmore.

Cette annee le Club est dans un etat plus florissant que jamais. Peut-etre l'assistance a toutes les re-unions n'a pas ete aussi nombreuse qu'elle aurait pu l'etre (malgre les annonces pleines d'attractions) mais du moins les membres ne sont pas obliges d'etre a la fois acteurs et auditoire, ce qui arrivait bien souvent dans les annees passees. Cependant, si l'assistance n'est pas tres considerable l'enthousi-asme nous console, un des membres meme se pass-ant de son dinrt pour prendre part a une lecture. Pourtant une fois lui suffit.

Comme notre reunion general fut un pen en retard nous ne pouvions avoir qu'une seule seance avant la fin du premier trimestre. Cette seance fut consacree a une soiree litteraire oil furent lus ou declames quelques-uns des plus beaux morceaux des ecrivains du XVIII ' ' siecle. Mais pendant le second trimestre nous avons reussi a avoir les reunions regulierement tous les quinze jours.

Nous nous sommes generalement bornes a la lecture de comedies, principalement de celles de Moliere, tandis que nous avons aussi represents " Crispin, Rival de son Maitre," farce de Le Sage. Apres la lecture, on chante L a Marseillaise a l'accompagnement du violon, et quoique l'harmonie et la mesure ne soient pas les meilleures du monde, neanmoins il y en a assez pour montrer notre pat-riotisme.

Alors le souper. Tous ceux qui n'apprecient pas les charmes de la partie litteraire du program-me peuvent en tout cas jouir du souper. Le souper sert bien a stimuler la conversation frangaise et sous son influence le temps passe vite en causeries divertissantes jusqu 'a dix heures quand au regret de tout le monde, la seance est levee.

Nous avons termine les activites du Club pour l'annee par un Grand Concert de Cloture qui eut lieu le 4 Aout. Un beau programme musicale et litteraire fut donne dans la presence d'environ soixante-dix membres et visiteurs qui sans doute voudront bien s'assurer l'avenir de notre cercle en participant a nos efforts pendant l'annee prochaine. —Le Secretaire, R V. de R. Worker.

R I F L E C L U B .

CONSIDERING that the past season was the first season of its existence, the Rifle Club has reason to congratulate itself on its progress.

The object of the Club has been to foster and encourage rifle shooting at the College, and so secure the best representation possible in the New Zealand Inter-University Haslam Shield Compe-

tition. That the object of the Club has been car-ried out has been clearly demonstrated by the number of enthusiasts in the College, and also by our success in the Haslam Shield Competition. In this Competition the Auckland team won by a handsome margin, with Otago second, and Victoria third.

Apart from the team shooting, we have had two individual competitions. The first of these was for the Club Championship in which event Messrs. M. Clark and F. R. Combes tied with a score of 270, with Mr. F. L. Beasley next with a score of 254.

In the Handicap Competition the same two members were again successful, but according to the rules of the Competition the trophies go to the next two members, Messrs. R. E. D. Kinloch with a score of 259, and F. L. Beasley 257. In con-nection with these Competitions we are indebted to Messrs. Briscoe and Professors Worley and Owen, and also to Mr. Bartrum for the trophies they have presented to the club.

Owing to Mr. Combes' generosity in offering the Club the use of his miniature range and rifles, we have been enabled to hold a miniature com-petition which is still in progress. The news of this competition raised a spirit of emulation in the fair sex at the College who set enquiries on foot as to the eligibility of ladies. A f t e r due con-consideration it was decided to change the consti-tution of the Club, in order to admit the ladies and the result is, that the Club now has twelve or fifteen lady members, who are firing a competition among themselves.

Several of the ladies have shot very well right from the start, and there are evidences of a very keen finish in the competition, although the scores registered by some of them have been of such an order as to cause some of the committee to discuss the advisability of petitioning the Tournament Delegates to allow ladies to fire in the Haslam Shield team.

It may not be out of place to mention here that there are several members of the Club either at the Front or in training with the Reinforce-ments, and if every man in the New Zealand forces could shoot, as can many of these lady members, they would be far more valuable to their country. —F. R. Combes, Hon. Sec.

A T H L E T I C CLUB.

The Athletic Club lnis this year, in Common with the other 'Varsity Clubs* suffered greatly by the enlistment of many of its members. Thirty-nine of our members are either serving in Gallipoli or have enlisted.

A t the Annual Meeting, presided over by Mr. Milnes, there was a fair attendance, and consider-able interest was displayed. The officers for the year are as follows :—-

Exec. Pres . :—H. A. E. Milnes, Esq. Pres. :—Prof. Johnson. Vice Presidents : —Profs. Egerton, Dettmann,

Walker, Owen, Worley, and Segar, Dr. McDowell Bro. Clements, Canon Nelson, Messrs. J. P. Gross-man, T. W. Leys, S. E. Lamb, T. U. Wells, W. Wil-

President -Vice-pres -Sec. Tres. -Comite

30

son, S. Cory-Wright, D. Chnmers, J. A. Bartrum. Delegates to Auckland Centre :—Messrs. H.

W. King, and L. J. Mark. Committee:—Messrs. Errickson, Grice, Jacob-

sen, Olpliert, and Wily. Hon. Auditor :—B. W. Beaumont, Esq. Hon. Treasurer :—F. J. Cox. Hon. Secretary :—N. R. W. Thorax..'. Interfaculty Sports :—These were held on

Nov. 30th 1914. Heavy rain delayed the start for a short while, but after that all went smoothly. The competition was at first very keen, but in the last five events Education drew well away, event-ually piling up 40^ points, and thus retaining the shield. Law scored 26^, Science and Arts

points. The two best performances of the day were registered by Law men, C. J. Wily winning the Long Jump ? itii 19ft l l in . , and N. C. McLean the Hammer-Thro wing with 91ft 6in. Detailed results are as under :—

One Mile:—J. W. Olphert 1st, A. R. Erickson 2nd, A .Fletcher 3rd. Time: 5min. 16 3-5secs.

100 Yards :—F. J. Cox 1st, C. F. Forsdick 2nd, E. Harper 3rd. Time : l lsecs.

Long Jump:—C. J. Wily 1st, W. Perry 2nd, C. F. Forsdick 3rd. Distance : 19ft l l in .

120 Yards Hurdles:—E. Barker 1st, W. Perry 2nd G. H. Driver 3rd. Time: 20 1 5secs.

'880 Yards Flat :—J.- W. Olphert 1st, C. J. Wily 2nd, A. R. Erickson 3rd. Time: 2min 16sec.

Hammer Throwing :—N. C. McLean 1st, C. M. Bathgate 2nd, A. Fletcher 3rd. Distance: 91ft 6in.

220 Yards :—C. F. Forsdick 1st, F. J. Cox 2nd, E. Barker 3rd. Time : 25secs.

One Mile Walk :—N. R. W . Thomas 1st, C. E. Jenkins 2nd, N. Carr 3rd. Time 7min. 54secs.

Putting 161b Shot :—A. Fletcher 1st, W. H. Worsley 2nd, N. C. McLean 3rd. Distance: 29ft 9in.

Relay Race :—Education 1st, Law 2nd. Time lmin 41 4-5secs.

High Jump :—C. F. Forsdick and G. B.Murray 1st. Height: 4ft

440 Yards:—J. W. Olphert 1st, F. J. Cox 2nd, C. N. Jacobsen 3rd. Time: 56 2-5secs.

Three Miles :—J. W. Olphert 1st, F. M. Price 2nd, O. E. Burton 3rd. Time 18min 20secs.

440 Yards Hurdles:—E. Barker 1st, W . Perry 2nd, N. R. W. Thomas 3rd. Time 78secs.

The finances of the Club are very satisfactory, being over £36 to the good. It was decided some months ago to discontinue the Cinderella Dances in view of the war. They were a great source of revenue, £29 odd being derived from them last year.

The thanks of the Club are again due to Mr. Milnes for presenting their blues to our winning men this year. As yet the local men are the only ones who possess them.

F O O T B A L L CLUB.

THIS season has not been what one would call highly successful from a normal point of view. Of last year's team all but one are at the front, and so we had necessarily to rely altogether on promoted juniors. But they have given all they could, even to life itself, to their country—and what could we

wish better? No one was more grieved than were his fellow-students at the death of that gallant soldier and gentleman, Roy Lambert. Others, too, have suffered, and our sympathies go out to their friends and relations.

Under these conditions it was thought that this years' team must be weak, but with promoted juniors and new members an auspicious beginning was made in that we were runners-upin theseven-a-side tournament. In these matches the play, though not of a high order, was thoroughly inter-esting, and gave the team valuable training. In the Competition matches the standard of play was excellent, but the team's combination was fre-quently spoiled by absence of various members— mostly through enlistment. The forwards were inclined to be light, and lacking in experience of senior football, but the backs played well through-out, and Maguire, Prussing, and Swaffield are to be congratulated on gaining representatives honours.

The Junior team deserves much credit for the way in which it stuck to its work under adverse conditions.

The result of the matches are as fol low:— v. College Rifles (lost 28 0). This was played

on No. 1 ground as a keen contest was anticipated. The scores, however, do not adequately show how the game went, In the first half we could do noth-ing with the ball when chances came, and our de-fence was weak. But in the latter halt we easily held our own, and were unlucky in not scoring on several occasions.

v. Marist Bros. Old Boys (lost 8 6) This game was played in pouring rain, yet it was a close and exciting contest. Our backs and forwards worked well together. During the first half Forsdick scored with some fast and pretty play, beating two opponents badly. Later, McLean kicked a penalty goal. The spell ended 6-3 in favour of 'Varsity. During the second spell play was very fast. Prus-sing showed up to advantage in consistently mark-ing a wet ball from high punts. Later he " drop-p e d " what seemed to everyone to be a goal. The referee, however, disallowed it. Marist immed-iately obtained possession, carried the ball down the field with a fine rush, and scored in the corner. The game ended 8-6 in favour of Marist Bros.

v. Parnell (won 13-0). This was our first win for the season. The game was fairly even during the first half, but in the second we had the upper hand. Dignan and Milliken both scored for us, both tries being converted by Prussing, who also kicked a penalty goal.

v. City (lost 35-0) There was a certain inter-fering element of chance in this game, for we be-gan with a full team and ended with twelve men. In the first half, play surged back and forth down the field ; and City making use of opportunities had scored nine points by half time. Inkster, who had been injured did not appear at all in the second half. Soon after recommencing both Prussing and Holland retired with injuries. The game then de-generated into a series of scores by City, who con-sistently failed with the kick.

v. Ponsonby (won 12-8) Mud was the main feature of this game, the field being in a verv bad state. A t the outset we got relief by a force, and a long kick ' took us into hostile territory, and Milliken, securing from a line out, crossed their

31

line. The kick failed. Immediately after Ponson-by scored from a forward rush and converted, and scored soon after again. Just before half time our backs gave Forde the opportunity to place a goal. There was no score in the third quarter, but in the last we livened up, and Dingan crossed their line. The kick failed. Another attack by 'Varsity, when Forde, picking up smartly, passed to Fowler, who scored. The game ended 12-8 in our favour.

v. College Rifles (lost 31-9). College scored at the very outset, and shortly after Holland scored for us rather cleverly. At half time the score stood 22-3 against us. On resuming play,Holland again distinguished himself by kicking a good penalty goal. The game ended 31-9 in favour of College.

v. Marist Bros, (lost 12-9). Marist kindly consented to allow Wilson and Ross, two ex-members upon leave from Trentham, to play for for us. These two greatly strengthened our team. Though the ground was wet, and tended to stifle back play, our backs certainly played a brilliant game. Play was extremely fast. Ho'land scored two tries for us, and Wilson kicked a penalty goal.

v. Parnell. Won by default. v. Ponsonby (lost 9-8). This game was very

even, play being of a high standard. Ponsonby scored first, and soon after McGinley scored for us. Ponsonby again scored, and half time sounded with the points 6-5. In the third quarter we attacked strongly, and Prussing marked and kicked a penalty goal. At the beginning of the final quarter we were still leading and seemed likely to win, but Ponsonby scored again just on time ; and the game ended 9-8 in favour of Ponsonby.

C R I C K E T CLUB.

THE Cricket Club entered two teams in the Dis-trict Championships. In view of the fact that players would be scarce it had been decided not to enter a Third Grade team.

The Senior team succeeded fairly well but owing to the Second Round of the Championships not being completed, the exact position of the team cannot be determined, but out of 9 matches played, 5 were won and 4 lost. The best batting average was gained by Mr. Taylor with an average of 37.1 for 14 innings with a highest score of 100. Mr. Caradus came second with an average of 23.5 for 13 innings with a highest score of 65. The most consistent bowler was Mr. Player who bowled 168 overs and obtained 28 wickets for 435 runs—an average of 15.9.

The Junior team was continually short-handed, and the days on which they had eleven men were conspicuous by their absence. Ten matches were played of which one was won and 9 lost. Its one win was against the Grammar School team, whom they defeated after a very close and exciting con-test. In the Juniors, Mr. Vickerman gained highest batting average, and Mr. Senior took most wickets and obtained best bowling average.

Although the University Tournament was held in Auckland, the Southern Colleges brought so few players that it was deemed advisable to drop the match this year. We hope at the next Tourna-ment, this match will be revived, as it provides a

great deal of enjoyment and interest to both players and spectators.

A Roll of Honour has been drawn up containing the names of all members and ex-members who have enlisted for active service. There are already 29 names on the list—a number of which any club might be proud, and shows how well the College Cricket Club is doing its part in supplying men for the Defence of the Empire and for the Cause of Right.—S.E S

H O C K E Y CLUB.

LAST year was, on the whole, a very successful season. The Senior Grade team was "runner up" in the Competition, the Second Grade team suc-ceeded in gaining the victor's laurels, which carried with it besides the Association's caps, the handsome Coleman Cup, now adorning the College Library. The Third and Fourth Grade teams, while not so successful, had a good season and generally enjoyed themselves. The Fifth Grade team commenced well, but seemed to lose enthusiasm as the season progressed.

From the Senior team the following gained representative honours: Messrs.Speight,Robinson, Rennie, Rowe, Jacobsen, Mahony, and Jones ; Mr. Speight captaining each of the Rep teams. T w o of our members, Messrs. Speight and Mahony, gained North Island Rep. honours, and Mr. Speight captained the North Island team.

Trophies presented to the Club by the Presi-dent, Mr. J. P. Grossmann, and Messrs. S. W. Collis G. N. Pierce, E. N. Blake, and H. B. Speight for competition were won by Messrs. J. Mahony, E. S. West, S. E. Senior, S. D. Rice, and H. E. Reynolds.

The Club is compiling an Honours Roll of the names of all its members who have enlisted, from which it may be seen that the Club is doing its share in supplying men for the defence of the Em-pire.

This year the success of the Club has been even more marked. The Senior team has suffered but one defeat and one draw in ten matches, and has now a substantial lead in the Competition.

The Junior team has also done well but, dogged with bad luck, has failed to win matches which it should have.

The Third Grade team, despite its constant changes,(no less than twenty-two different members have played for this team in various matches,) and despite its frequent trips to the country to play its matches, stands but a few points below the leading team. The Fourth Grade team has also suffered from frequent changes in its personnel, but stands third in its Grade. The Fifths, commencing with a win, have done little since, and show but little of that enthusiasm and keenness characteristic of the other teams.—5 E. Senior, See.

T E N N I S CLUB.

IT may be knowledge to many in College to learn that there is a properly constituted Tennis Club in existence here. Its activities have been hampered for the last two years by the fact that there are no courts available. The Club had at one time the privilege of using the Government House courts,

32

but since the advent of Lord Liverpool this privi-lege has been withdrawn. W e had also the use of courts in Stanley Street, but of late years these courts have fallen into disrepair, and are unusable. A t the last annual meeting, held in March 1914, no regular officers were elected, but a provisional committee, consisting of Misses Curtis, Garrard and Battersby, and Messrs. Duthie, A . Ohlson, E. Ohlson, Kinloch, Whitelaw and Comrie was ap-pointed to look after the Club's interests tempor-arily. Four members of this committee have since left New Zealand. The only work that has fallen to the committee's lot was the selecting of the team for the recent Easter Tournament.

It is a deplorable pity, when A.U.C. holds the Easter Tournament Tennis Cup, that a College Tennis Club should not be in a more flourishing condition, but until some arrangements can be made for the use of courts the Club must preforce remain inactive. Perhaps during this coming sea-son som6 solution of the difficulty may present itself.—L.J. Comrie, Hon. Sec.

L A D I E S ' C O M M O N R O O M CLUB.

THIS year has been an uneventful one in the Ladies' Common Room. We understand that several members of the College staff have expressed their appreciation of the " academic calm " which pre-vails in our Common Room, even our football matches being conducted in a " lady like " manner. We must thank the M.C.R.C for their delightful moonlight picnic. We all enjoyed it very much, the moonlight having a most exhilerating effect on the younger members.

The energetic members of the Club—under the leadership of Miss Cozens—were kept hard at work during the Easter vacotion. Tournament dance was only a small one but all the work of preparation was done by the students themselves. Tn addition to this members of the club presided over the tea urn at the tennis championships. On the occasion of the United Sports Carnival, the Ladies of the Club decorated a lorry, and during the Mock Court held in His Majesty's Theatre, spent a strenuous day selling sweets for the Patriotic Fund.

W e must take this opportunity of publicly congratulating Miss K. M. Curtis, M.A. on her splendid success. W e wish her every success in her future College life. Her influence is very much missed in the Common Room.

—Bessie Battersby, Hon. Sec. L.C.L.C.

MEN'S C O M M O N R O O M C L U B .

SINCE the beginning of the year important changes have taken place in the Executive. Much to our regret we lost Mr. Vickerman early in the year. He takes with him our best wishes for success and safety. His successor, Mr. Comrie, a former vice-president, resigned his position last term, and Mr. Baxter was elected to fill it. Messrs. Piatt and Combes were elected to fill positions on the Exec-utive. A successful moonlight picnic was held at the end of the first term, to which the L.C.R.C. was invited. W e were pleased to welcome them in forcc. W e regret to say we missed a spoon on that

occasion. Better luck next time. The Library is flourishing, and the habit of interposing volumes in the mixed bathing arears of the Round Table is growing apace. The mid-day hockey practices were abandoned owing to the intervention of an irate referee who feared for the safety of his pre-cious subjects.—G.H.B.

M U S I C A L S O C I E T Y .

THIS is not an obituary notice. The Musical Society is not dead: it only sleepeth. Last year the Society was undoubtedly flourishing ; the re-turn to College had infused new blood into an almost lifeless body. Under the capable and enthusiastic conductorship of Mr. S. K. Phillips, the Society soon regained its ancient prosperity. Several very successful concerts were held, at which, if the per-formances of the Society were sometimes marked chiefly by good intentions, the soloists were always of a high standard. It was particularly pleasing to find that we were more and more able to rely on members for the solo items.

But last year's feverish energy seems to have exhausted itself by the beginning of this year. W e were faced with many difficulties, not the least of them that of obtaining another conductor, Mr. Phillips being unable to accept office for another year. T w o general meetings were held, and after considerable discussion and negotiation, it seemed that we were to have the good fortune once more to secure the services of Mr. W . J. Bellingham who had conducted the Society with much success for several years. W e then had to meet the difficulty of membership, and it was here that we really broke down. The male side of the choir had been sadly reduced, most of the members having volunteered for service with the Expeditionary Force. Still, we were determined to carry on, even if it were only as a glee club of twenty to twenty-five voices. Mr. F. E. Sutherland was good enough to accept the conductorship, and a practice was held—marred it is true, by the absence of tenors, but still a prac-tice. Almost immediately, however, nearly all our remaining men, including our newly-appointed and essential conductor, went off to Trentham, and we were compelled to disband for the year.

It is to be hoped that the present and future generations of students will not allow the Society to die. During the past four years the chief difficulty has been the indifference of younger students, who, without trying, say they cannot sing. The second failing has been that the work of organization has been left to one or two older members, because, forsooth, they know the working of the Society. The knowledge is not instinctive, and is always capable of being acquired by any student who takes some slight interest in the welfare of the Society.

W e gladly take this opportunity ©f recording our gratitude to Mr. Bellingham and Mr. Phillips, who ungrudgingly devoted much time and trouble to the work of the Society. W e are doubly ap-preciative of their services, because music is their profession, and it is no light thing for a man to give up his Saturday evening—perhaps his only free evening—to professional work for which he receives nothing, sometimes, indeed, less than noth

33

ing, for members have too often been casual in at-tendance and enthusiasm. T o Professor Johnson we would also tender our thanks. Since his arrival in Auckland he has always taken the keenest inter-

est in the Society, and he did a great deal in organ-ising the programmes. If all had shown hiskeeness the Society would not have fallen on such evil days.—Anyone.

The Haslam Shield

A FEW words about this shield will not come amiss at a time when an Auckland team has for the first time succeeded in wresting it from Southern Col-leges. The Shield was presented by Professor Haslam, then Professor of Classics at Canterbury College, for competition among the Officers' Train-ing Corps of the four University Colleges. The first competition was held on March 26th, 1910, at the Redcliffs range, near Christchurch, between teams representing Canterbury College and Victoria College ; the latter team was successful. The top scorer was Mr. T . H. Oram, M.A., of Victoria Col-lege, and now of Palmerston North, who compiled the respectable total of 96 out of 105.

It was originally intended that the match should be fired at the Easter Tournament centre, but this was found inconvenient, and now each team fires on its own range. In 1911, when the Tournament was held in Auckland, the match was not fired; this may perhaps be accounted for by the fact that the Training Corps were abandoned on the intro-duction of the Territorial system in May, 1910. The match is now open to teams of eight students from each College.

In 1912 Auckland did not put in a team, but in the following year decided to compete. Unfor-tunately the match had to be abandoned at the last minute owing to the illness of the team's captain. Victoria College fired, and continued to hold the Shield.

In 1914 however, we managed to make a bigger effort, but met a run of bad luck. In the first place after firing the match and recording a respectable total, it was found necessary, owing to an unfor-tunate oversight on the part of the Tournament Delegates, to re-fire. A s Fate would have the day we chose for the re-firing yielded continual showers all the morning, but as it was the last day on which the match could be fired, we stuck to it and did our level best. The names of the members of the team are:—A. B. Jameson, E. S. Harston, K. W. Com-mons, C. P. Worley, R. E. D. Kinloch, F. J. Cox, G. E. Downer, E. G. Hudson, J. W . Olp-hert, and L. J. Comrie. Of these the first four are now using their skill at markmanship in the Dard-

anelles. Up to this time no other team had fired, but Canterbury College obtained special permission, and fired after the expiry of the time allowed for the competition. They were successful in taking the Shield.

This year our efforts have been rewarded with success. The A.U.C. Rifle Club team, after a course of training throughout the summer, carried off the coveted trophy on May 1st. The Otago Uuniverity team was runner up, while Victoria College was placed third ; Canterbury College did not compete. Our best thanks are due to Mr. Morgan, the range caretaker, and to Mrs. Morgan for the numberless kindnesses shown throughout the season ; and to Mr. S. Cory-Wright, of the School of Mines, who superintended the firing of the match. Some idea of the enthusiasm which has led to the acquisition of this trophy may be gathered from the fact that it was no uncommon thing for a dozen people to go to Penrose on Friday nights, camp in the barracks, and commence shooting at sunrise.

The names of the winning team and their scores are :—

200 yds. 500 yds. 600 yds Total Clark, M. 31 Combes, F. R. 33 Kinloch, R. E. D. 33 Beasley, F. L. Wily, C. H. J. Hudson, E. G. Erickson, A . R. Comrie L. J.

28 29 25 25 33

28 3o 22 26 26 23 17 26

31 29 28 22 20 24 28 10

92 92 83 76 75 72 70 69

Grand Total 629 The Shield, which is a very large and hand-

some one, comes to Auckland next Easter, after which we hope to act up to the British Bull-Dog's motto " what we've got we'll hold." It is pleasing to note that at the last meeting of the Tournament Delegates, the conditions governing the match were, at the instigation of the Auckland Delegates, radically revised so as to bring them in accordance with modern Musketry Regulations.—Lee-Enfield.

34

Personal Notes

M R . J . M MCKSNZIE, B . A . ; L .L .B . is n o w Travelling Secretary for the Presbyterian Bible Class Society.

Mr. J. T. Mackie is still pursuing his studies at Knox College.

Miss Phyllis Haddow, and Messrs. J. M. Allen, and R. Cashmere are now studying medicine at Otago College.

The engagement is announced of Miss D. Timewell and Mr. John Johnson, M.A., of Otago. We offer them our heartiest congratulations.

Mr. K. Sisam, sometime Rhodes Scholar, has recently married Miss Gibbons, of Kopu, and Mr. H.H. Marshall was married some few weeks ago to Miss Hill, of Maungatinoka, Mr. S. J. Mogridge and Mr. W. S. Smith acting as Best Man and Groomsman. As will be seen by the Roll of Hon-our, (Ante) Mr. H. H. Marshall is now serving in the Expeditionary Force.

Messrs. F. A. Airey, M.A., G. S. Coldman, M.A., W. Caradus, M.Sc., F. W. Lang, and E. A. Watkins, B.A.. are at present on the staff of the Auckland Grammar School.

J. McMurray Cole has passed his second pro-fessional in the Medical School at Edinburgh, and has been awarded several prizes.

Miss S. A. Robertson, at the same Collpge, has also been successful with her exams, and is a prize winner.

Mr. W. A. Gray, M.Sc. recently won his Oxford Blue for Lacrosse. The latest news of him is from Flanders.

Mr. S. H. Ellis, L.L.B,, holds a commission in the Northumberland Fusiliers.

Mr. E. H. Goodfellow holds a commission in the R.F.A., 28th Battery, 9th Brigade, Meerut Division.

R. H. MacDonald is stationed at Karachi as Lieutenant in 1st Battalion, South Lancashires.

Lieut J. D. Dineen, has been obliged to resign his commission in the Royal Flying Corps 011 ac-count of his eyesight.

Frank Wilson captained the Trentham Team in the recent football match against the Auckland Reps.; A. C. A. Sexton also played in the same team.

F. L. K. Broadgate, B. Sc. has been in the New Zealand Geological Survey Dept. until a few weeks ago, when he enlisted for the Front.

E. Bond has a position in the Dominion Laboratory in Wellington.

E. de C. Clarke, M.A., who was formerly as-sistant in the Biological and Geological Depts. here, is now in the Geological Survey Dept. of Western Australia.

Misses E. Dickenson and E. K. Golding, B.A., are teaching at St. Cuthbert's Presbyterian College Mt. Eden.

N. R. Jacobsen, M,Sc., is teaching in the Hamilton High School.

E. T. Cronin, M.Sc., who was teaching at the Grammar School for the first term this year, is now at Dunedin, studying medicine.

Miss M. E. Freeman, M.A. is at present teach-ing at the Pukekohe High School, and Miss H. J Adlington, M.A., at Wanganui High School.

Miss Nora Macky M.A., is now on the nursing staff at the Auckland Hospital.

Doctor M. A. Hunter, M.A., paid a visit to New Zealand last year. He is a professor of Electro-Chemistry at the Russell-Sage Labatory in U.S.A.

H. E. P. Quinn, B.A. is on the teaching staff of the Sacred Heart College.

Miss F. J. Taylor, B.A., is at present enjoying a holiday in America.

E. J. Russell, M.Sc., has been appointed as-sistant to the Professor of Mathematics at Canter-bury College.

C. P. Worley received an appointment at the end of last year to the staff of the Nelson College. He is leaving for the front shortly.

H. R. Fell, B. A., is at Knox College, Dunedin. Miss E. M. Harris, M.A., and Miss M. Neal

have been appointed to the staff of the Girls' Grammar School.

W. G. Slade, B.A. who was with us at the be-ginning of the year studying for Honours, has left to take up duties in Wellington.

M A J O R F. S T U C K E Y .

MAJOR F . STUCKEY ( V I H a u r a k i R e g i m e n t ) w a s an old boy, of Nelson College, who later having obtained his M.A. here, accepted a position on the staff of King's College. Here he remained until the outbreak of the war; having been first assistant for some five or six years. He was re-ported as wounded at Gallipoli some months ago, and later as missing. Hope had practically been given up when about a month ago, a letter from a Captain-Chaplain in Egypt arrived with the follow-ing information : " Major Stuckey is here and doing well; he is a particularly fine character." A short while afterwards we heard that Col. Plugge; who was then convalesent in England, had had a cable-gram from Major Stuckey, (of which the place of origin was unascertainable,) stating that he was improving. It is altogether most mysterious, but we incline to the belief that Major Stuckey is not killed. And yet why he should not have communi-cated with some one in New Zealand seems a mystery.

Major Stuckey was universally liked, respected and admired by all who knew him. He was an ardent sportsman and athlete—a splendid example of " mens sana in corpore sano." Those of us who were under him at King's need nothing to be said in his favour. W e need scarcely say how sincerely

35

We trust that we may yet see him amongst us again. His Mother, Mrs. Bamford, of Nelson, has our

sincerest sympathy in the trying suspense in which she must be placed.

M A J O R R. H. B A Y L Y .

MAJOR R . H . BAYLY w a s an old K i n g ' s B o y , his period dating from the early days of the school. After some years here, during which time he ob-tained his B.A., he returned to that College, and accepted a position on the staff, having charge of the Lower School. He, too, was a keen athelete, playing until quite recently in the 'Varsity fifteen, and taking considerable interest in the football at the College. His bouyant and jovial nature, un-failing good humour, and strong personality made him a great favourite with those who knew him.

Enlisting at the beginning of the war, he served in the Dardanelles for some weeks, being finally killed by a bursting shell. His loss is a serious blow to us all. W e would wish to extend our sincerest sympathy to his family in their bereave-ment.

S E R G T . W A L L A C E .

IT is with the deepest regret that we learn of the death of Sergt. Wallace in action at Gallipoli. By courtesy of Mr. Wallace we are enabled to publish the following information as to the cir-cumstances of his death :—

Extract from letter by Lieut. G. B. Devereux,

3rd Auckland Regiment.—1' Sergt. Wallace was badly wounded in the head and shoulder by shrap-nel about May 7th. He lived for three days, but did not regain consciousness. He was buried near the Island of Imbros."

"To the relatives of Sergt. Wallace, N.Z. En-gineers :

I should like to write a line to express the deep regret of myself and of all the officers and men of the N.Z. Engineers, at the diath of Sergt. Wallace. It may be some consolation, and at any rate a matter of pride, to know that he had done the most excellent work, and shown the greatest gallantry ever since his arrival at t! e Front. His name is being forwarded to the General Command-ing the Division as one of the N.C.O.'s who did specially good work during the arduous fortnight we have been on shore. He died a soldier's death on duty. —G. R. Pridham, Lt Col. R.E. Comdg. N.Z. Engineers."

Sergt. Wallace, after a brilliant career at the Auckland Grammar School and University, went Home as a Rhodes Scholar for 1912. Last year he obtained the B.A. Degree at Oxford, and was studying Education when the war broke out.

As a man, Sergt. Wallace approached closely to the ideal Rhodes Scholar. He was a splendid athlete, a brilliant scholar, and a popular favourite Had he not chosen the higher path, a brilliant career lay before him.

It will be noticed that he was mentioned in despatches as foreshadowed by Col. Pridham. His relatives and friends have our sincerest sympathy.

Obituary

HECTOR K. BURNS, B.A.

Another ex-student has passed away in the person of Hector Kenneth Burns, B.A., Inspector of Schools under the Auckland Education Board. After passing through the Grammar School, Hec-tor Burns obtained his B.A. here, and, entering the teaching profession, was on the staffs succes-sively of the Newton West and Waiokaraka Schools. He then became Headmaster of the Newmarket School, and in 1914 he was appointed Inspector of Schools. Later, however, he devel-oped a serious heart trouble, which carried him off at the early age of 37. His death is a great loss to the Teaching profession, as he was a man of sound and high education ability. His widow and children have our sincerest sympathy.

W I L L I A M C O L L I N S TIDMARSH.

It is with the deepest regret that we learn of the death of W. C. Tidmarsh, which occurred at Mangere on May 11th, at the age of 21. After passing through the Grammar School with great credit, he won the ninth University Scholarship for 1912, and started on a University career. In his first year he won the premiums for Latin, Eng-lish, and French—showing considerable brilliancy in these languages. He proved also a debator of some ability, his speeches being characterised by considerable vigour and wit.

We extend our sincerest sympathy to his parents in their loss of their gifted son at the moment when a brilliant career seemed opening before him.

36

Answers to Correspondents

BRUTUS—"Et tu Brute ! " as Caesar once re-marked with much less reason. No, we are afraid it is quite out of the question. Try the "Triad."

IRAS—No ; you would never evolve a respect-able verse of poetry if you lived to survive Reg-narok. But why don't you give us some prose ? Y o u write good, solid, sensible prose, we happen to know.

NERO—Your ancient namesake never com-mitted such an atrocity.

L .V .—Fair ly good verse, but not treated with that delicacy of touch that is neceesary to make such things convincing. Try again ; you can do considerably better. Read Shelly's " Witch of At las . " Y o u might reveal your identity.

CAIUS—Its the first time we ever discovered a sonnet with fifteen lines. Y o u sn®uld patent the idea. Further you cannot rhyme " wine " and " q u i n i n e " together ; not in the KlWT, a n y w a y . Though we have heard of them being mingled to make rather a nasty concoction. There you are more orthordox.

A.B.T.—Yes, we believe that gardening at St. John's is, like " Johnnie Walker," still going strong.

PHILOSAPHIUS—[I] Your contribution far too long for us even to consider. Moreover, its interest is doubtful. [II] Y o u might gather from what we print the sort of stuff we want, but if you must have a suggestion, try " A n Enquiry into the Religions and Ritualistic Tendencies of Amphibians" Judging from your previous contribution, this should suit you rather well.

R.B.T.—Unfortunately lack of space prevents our publishing your contribution. It was awfully long-winded, too, and must have been sincerely pruned before it was readable.

NAMELESS—Your Lat in quibble rather clever — w e got that all right. But in your accompany-ing effusion re the delinquent schoolboy and the

ferrule, etc., etc., we could discover neither rhyme nor reason. A n y w a y , tender memories of such episodes in long-departed school-days make us rather shy of talking of such atrocities. " Let me not think on't." A s W. S. Gilbert s a y s :

" I can feel the place in frosty weather still 1 "

NAMELESS—We almost printed your parody, but decided that even a parody must have some poetic worth, " f o r a' that." As a parody it is scarcely close enough. But if you care to polish it a bit we will consider it next issue.

LEANDER—Not bad—but hardly enough point. We cannot afford space for it.

SUMMER CLOUDS—Not bad at all, in fact rather prettily handled : but the sentiment scarcely rings true. The things you see in the clouds are too tangible —they smack of the fairy-tale. There are several lines obviously adapted from the Romance poets. The beginning is good—decidedly so. Y o u must try again. Note Shelley's treatment of imagery of this description.

H — W e cannot possibly open our columns on religious controversy. You might have known that.

FUNICULA, MENTOR, ETC.—" Too late, too late, ye cannot enter now." Try the next 'bus.

THE BUXOM DAMOZEL—The first verse good parody—but it deteriorates as it goes on. If it were all like this, now :

" The buxom damozel leaned out From the blazing bar so gay ;

Her cheeks were redder than the rose, And her hair like new-mown hay.

She had some ' Three Star ' in her hand, And seven glasses on a tray."

[N B.—If contributions will come in with neither title nor nom-de-plume, it makes it rather difficult for the Editor to answer them. The writing (?) is, in the majority of cases, unrecognis-able.—ED.]

38

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T H E ' V A R S I T Y " B L U E . "

THE EDITOR " K I W I . "

SIR—I crave space in your organ to put forth my humble opinions—opinions, I think shared by a great many of the A.U .C. Students—concerning the N.Z. 'Varsity " Blues.,' I believe that it has been decided in Committee that this • • Blue " shall take the form of a scarf, worked in a suitable design, in preference to a blazer bearing the badge of the College. I confess that I cannot see the reason for such a decision. I think there is scarcely a big 'Varsity in the Empire that does not give blasers to its representatives. A scarf, which is generally worn almost hidden, can surely not, Sir, be a suit-able substitute for the Blazer that custom has de-creed should denote a 'Varsity representative. The difference in cost between a scarf and a blazer should not be great, and the difference in value to the wearer, would, in my opinion, be very consider-able.—I am, Sir, yours etc.,

" CURSOR."

R E S C I E N T I F I C S O C I E T Y

T o THE EDITOR,

DEAR SIR—About a week before the end of the Second Term appeared the Scientiffc Society's notice announcing a Social Evening at which a paper on " Soap Bubbles" would be contributed. So far so good, But further on came the startling statement " Members of the Society Free, A l l Others I/-."

This is the first time to my knowledge that any charge has been made for a College entertainment and it either seems that the Executive of the Scientific Society endeavoured to use their Social Evening as a bait in order to " tout " for subscript-ions or else they are anxious to keep their Society a select little body high above the heads of non-members.

Their Social Evening was announced for August 9th and on August 4th the C e d e Moliere gave a musical and literary evening to which the whole College was cordially invited, of course free of charge. I happen to know that the Cercle Moli-ere went to a good deal of trouble and expense to put on a really good programme, which I am sure the considerable number of students that attended thoroughly enjoyed. Y e t in the face of the lead given by the French Club,the Scientific Society had the unparalled audacity to charge a shilling to those not members of the Club for an evening which en-tailed comparatively no expense.

On tackling one of the Executive about the matter he informed me that the reason a charge was made was because the Society had not sufficient funds to give an entertainment free to all students. On asking how many financial members there were belonging to the Society he told me 60. Now I suppose the Cercle Moliere has at most 30 members, yet the latter body can give the College a fine literary and musical entertainment for which no

charge was thought of being made, while the Scientific Society asks all other students exclusive of its own members to pay a shilling for a Social evening. I heard a certain student remark as he read their notice: ' By gum, I think its the meanest, society on earth."

I think he just about summed it up.—I am, etc. —D.R .V.

DEAR MR. EDITOR,

I'm in an awful hole : I think I'm one of the most miserable men alive. I wonder if you can help me with a little advice ? The fact is, I'm in love. She's the sweetest girl you'd find anywhere, —tal l and willowly, with the loveliest eyes and hair. She's called Una. Remember her name: its important. Her mother is fair and fat and sixty, and as deaf as a table-leg. That's important too. Wel l I went to Una's place one miserable afternoon a fortnight ago, to take her out for a motor-drive. While she was " getting her hat on " — y o u know what that means—her mother was boring me, as usual, with her perfectly inane gossip. Well , Una was looking simply stunning that day, and—Heaven only knows w h y : I wish now I'd cut my throat first 1—I plucked up courage to broach a question that had been running in my mind for months. "Mrs. H , I began in my best manner, (I can be awfully ingratiating when I like, you know;) "Mrs . H — — y o u must be aware that for some considerable time I have entertaiued a pas-sion for Una——er , Miss H , that is " The lady suddenly became aware that I was talking, and stopped rambling on about the Scott-Templers and Lady L 's ball, and said freezingly, (she doesn't like to be interrupted) " I beg your pardon?" " I was saying," I began again, " that you must by this time be aware that I ; " " E r — w h a t ? " I started Joff a third time. Still a blank uncompre-hending look. I got desperate. I placed my lips— oh fatal moment!—close to her ear, and yelled into it like a skipper down his speaking tube: " I love Una ! " The plump face beamed. T w o fat arms came round my neck like a vice, and she cooed into my ear: " M y dearest Algernon! What a charming way to propose ! " I gasped weakly and sat down — o n her knee. Shej kissed me fondly. Making a great effort I extricated myself, and got my breath. It was just begining to dawn on me: the old hag had thought I said: " I love you, dear." I broke out into a cold perspiration. " I 1 " I be-gan weakly; but she cut me short. " No, no: that's alright you dear boy." I had tremblingly started out on another attempt at explanation ; (I'm rather a nervous man at the best of times) when a mocking voice came from the door-way : " O h , very pretty; very pretty. Pray don't let me disturb you." I turned just in time to see Una disappearing up the stairs. Of course I ran after her to explain matters —and the creature, her mother, ran after me. I attempted explanations ; and the creature attempted

41

blandishments. Finally Una ran upstairs and left me—with It.

Why make a long story ? Una has entirely thrown me over—that's enough to make a man mad isn't it ?—but the creature clings to me like a lim-pet. She has already taken me to two charity bazaars, and an afternoon at Lady L 's' and showed me off as her " second." Of course the people smiled and tittered. I thought I should have died of mortification ! Twice I have attempted explanations ; but the first time she cauldn't under-stand me, and the second time flung her arms round my neck and burst into tears. " Oh! Algie, I thought, for one dreadful moment, that you said you didn't love me. Tell me I didn't hear you rightly." What could I do? I live in a perpetual night-mare: sleeping, or waking she haunts me alike. I think I shall soon go mad. Oh please, dear Mr. Editor, if you could give me some advice, you would earn the undying gratitude o f —

Algernon Percy Biggs.

T o THE EDITOR.

Dear Sir—Through the kindness of the Editor I have been permitted, on behalf of the Scientific Society, to reply to the above in this issue. D.R.V. —the initiab somehow sound familiar even if per-muted—has hit the right explanation of the Society's action; it does wish to keep itself a " select little body." I can remember distinctly the words of Mr. N. L. V. Vickerman, who was perhaps the chief mover in the formation of the Society, " this Society must be a select one, above the run of ordinary Societies." In keeping the

Society select the Committee, on behalf of the 75 members whom it represents, is only acting up to one of its fixed ideals. The Executive did not " tout " for subscriptions, nor did it " ask all other students exclusive of its own members to pay a shilling for a Social Evening." No one, duri.ig the interval preceeding the Evening, was asked to be-come a member; those who wished to simply paid their subscriptions and came. Consequently no-body was charged a shilling.

A s for the Cercle Moliere ; well we use the words of a well known author " Comparisons are obvious." Although I have a great respect for the Cercle Moliere and attended its Musical Evening 011 Mr. Worker's invitation, yet I fail to see that such a Society is going to set the " lead " for all other Societies in this College. It may interest. D.R.V., who thinks that our Evening "entailed comparatively no expense," to learn that it cost us over £3, and we think that the amount of plea-sure we derived from the Evening justified the expenditure of this amount.

The Cercle Moliere, if in financial difficulties can fall back on a substantial donation from its President. The Treasurer of the Scientific Society is not allowed to receive more than one shilling from any one individual.

The Scientific Society is holding seven meet-ings this year ; six of these are open to all students. Is it not fair that the members of such a large Society should have one Evening to themselves, at which the spirit of friendship and good-will among students of kindred feeling may be propa-gated ?—I am, etc.

—L. J. C.

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