8/12/2019 WAKE TO NOTHIN

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WAKE TO NOTHIN

Just driftin thru dog days in that trailer park. Dont seem to come awake for long.When I do its tv an movies. Read some. Stare out at the hills. Used to lie theresometimes, just smokin an starin out the window, breeze ripplin the curtains.

Darkness in my head. Finished.Got a Vets pension from Naman my Marines pension. Scrapes me by. Dont

need big supplies. Smokes an beer an park rent. Own the trailer.Dont mix all that often. Family long since gone or buried. Meant to be gettin

married a while back but she left me half way thru my tour.Only real friends I ever had were left in Nam. In bits. Think I left the best part of

me out there as well cos nothin much came back.An there wasnt much to come back to. Hardly any work round here an I aint got

no trade cept killin. An Im done with that.Do some work now an again for the guy that owns the park on his Harley. Take it

for a spin sometimes up into the hills. Like it when it rains. Pull up under the same

oak. Sit an have a smoke an look out at the rain an the woods. Can still see Charlieflittin thru the trees. They were never endin. Like ants. Didnt matter how many youkilled, was always hundreds more. All that death. For what? All seems kindapointless now.

Sometimes head down to Sams Waterin Hole on friday nites. Just to break uptime. Sit at the same spot. Have a few beers an watch the action. Pool games. Slots.Dancin. The odd brawl. Some folks would say Hi an Id nod back.

She walked over one nite. Kinda pretty. Carryin two beers. Sat down next to me.These are mine, she announced, layin the beers on the table.I shrugged.She laughed an slid one over. Seen you herea few times, she said.Most friday nites, I told her.Youre always sittin on your own.Dont bother me none.Wanna come over an join us?Maybe next time.We chatted some more then she went back to her friends. Kept glancin over.

Knew it would happen. She tagged after me when I was leavin.Outside we stopped an lit smokes.Where you headed? she asked.Canyon Creek Trailer Park.

Whos waitin there?Nobody.She smiled. Be back?Next friday, I replied an strolled off into the nite.Only I wouldnt. I had got used to it. The big empty. Knew it could never be filled.

Had stopped tryin.Swept by the tide to this point an turnin to look back on the best days. Read that

somewhere once. Stayed with me. Kinda summed me up.One hour walk back in the rain an the dark. Six beers waitin at the trailer. Drift off.

Then wake to nothin.

8/12/2019 WAKE TO NOTHIN

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