Fall 2009 USATAA NET 1

Volume 25 No. 4 FALL 2009

In this issue... Important information on bylaws changes which will require a vote of the membership. Changes are inside

for your review. If you have any questions or input on the bylaws, please contact Bobbie Barry, Coordinator of Communications, at Coordinator@usataa.org. Thank you for your participation in the governance of your association!

We welcome your articles and thoughts about TA, TA practice, and the world we live in. Please send them to NET editor Angela Berquist at TA_Neteditor@comcast.net. Thank You.

Final Touches on New USATAA Website Coming soon to your email inbox: an invitation to browse www.usataa.org, our web presence in the world!

For the first time, our membership administration is web-based. If you have recently renewed or updated your professional listing, you have experienced part of it.

With this new platform we can offer more to the public and to our members.

• Articles and links provide TA background information and resources to visitors.

• You'll see listings of TA trainings and educational sites in the US. Members can send us course announcements at coordinator@usataa.org.

• We have a shopping cart with dvd's from us and our members. Requirements for product listings are that they are products authored by a member, from the US, and about TA, plus specifics about how orders will be filled. Thanks to Taibi Kahler for donating his History of the Miniscript DVD. We are also featuring Claude Steiner's Emotional Literacy DVD set along with our Theory and Practice of TA DVD's with an incredible array of presenters.

• Your membership year now runs a full year from the date you joined. (Please renew now if you haven't!).

• Council minutes and other organizational documents are posted in a members-only area

Working on the site has deepened our permanent gratitude to our former webmaster, Krysia Jacobs, and to all the USATAA people who developed our previous website. It is not an easy task to create or maintain one.

We have formed a new partnership with skilled web providers who are familiar with counseling association websites. Because we had not changed much of our site for some time, it took a few tries to move our data into the new site. Hooray for Sarah Kovich and her Provisions team for their resilience in working with us end-users who only partly understand what we are asking for.

You will soon receive a welcome letter inviting you to come in and tour, after we put on a few final touches.

If you think we might need your new email address, send it to coordinator@usataa.org. Make the site a part of your online world. Let's keep it populated with fresh ideas about the practice of TA in the US, and invite new, interested people to enter the USATAA portal.

A USATAA membership meeting will be held at the Mary Goulding Memorial Redecision / TA Conference, on Saturday, November 7, 2009, at the St. Charles Avenue Hilton Hotel, 333 St. Charles Ave., New Orleans, Louisiana, from 12:30 - 1:15 PM. At that time, a vote will be held to approve the USATAA bylaw changes proposed by the USATAA Council. See pages 4 and 5 for more detail.

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Fred Clark dies at home in Connecticut by Tom Nissley

Fred Clark, TA therapist, teacher, and Methodist minister, died at his home in Cheshire, CT on August 19, after a year-long contest with pancreatic cancer. He had practiced TA for 28 years, and was well known as the registrar and contact for the Eastern Region Transactional Analysis Association. Fred helped to organize and run every ERTAA conference and training event from 1986 through 2007. He was a precise and careful therapist, and wrote several articles for the TAJ, but he may be best remembered for a grand sense of humor and a willingness to tease results from confrontations. With a hand puppet he called Grover, Fred sometimes led a group session into happy and fun surprises. A favorite memory is Grover wheedling a repeated instruction out of Richard Erskine in a Gestalt training group, and then smirking “got-ya!”

Because he knew, for months, that he was a terminal patient, Fred wrote his own obituary, which said in part,

“Fred felt blessed to have time to both express his love and appreciation to others for their contributions to his life and to receive hundreds of messages expressing gratitude and love for him. He is remembered for his sense of humor, gentleness, wisdom, generosity, singing and playing his washtub bass, unconditional acceptance of all, and passion for justice. He was a raconteur with an extroverted personality that put even strangers at ease.”

Then he wrote a sermon, which he arranged to have preached (by Tom Nissley, a colleague and collaborator in

ERTAA) at a memorial service with lots of good music, shared with Jewish and Christian clergy and members of his beautiful family, on August 30. Excerpts follow:

“Rather than wait for someone to write my obituary to have the measure of my life taken, this gift of time allows me to ask myself, ‘What have I contributed? What have I done or said that has been of value to others and our world?’...

“What has your life been worth in terms of contributing to the healing of relationships and our world? Just by asking that question of yourself, you may find yourself motivated to get going on some different task or course. Let God’s love be your guide...

“However you look at your life, look for its purpose! Look for the meaning beyond yourself. How has your life made a difference in the healing process?... And how can I make my life a

part of the healing process now… and tomorrow? “So the time we have is now and tomorrow. Don’t let

yesterday drag itself into your life. Open your heart to God’s love for you, and then let it out again.

“I want to do my best to do my last task, that of dying, in the name of God. To do that, I need to love and be loved, just the way God set it up in the beginning.

“To love and be loved. That’s your task too. Don’t get lost on the way. -- Fred”

The United States of America Transactional Analysis Association (USATAA) is the association for the practice of Transactional Analysis in the United States. USATAA publishes the USATAA NET four times a year.

NET Newsletter Committee: Angela Berquist, Editor Email: NET@usataa.org Bobbie Barry, Coordinator of Communications Dianne Maki Lucy Freedman Jim Wrightsman

Mailing address: 7891 Westwood Drive, Suite 103, Gilroy, CA 95020. Email: coordinator@usataa.org

Advertising Rates Business card ad: $25; 4 times for $80. Quarter page: $50; 4 times for $160. Half page: $75; 4 times for $225. Full page: $150, one time only

THE TA PRIMER IS BACK IN PRINT

and at a reduced price (SECOND PRINTING, 2007)

INTRODUCE YOURSELF TO TRANSACTIONAL

ANALYSIS

1-2 COPIES, $4.50 3-9 COPIES, $4.00 EACH

10-24 COPIES, $3.50 EACH 25-49 COPIES, $3.00 EACH 50 OR MORE, $2.50 EACH

Order Form and bulk Price List Available from:

Leonard P. Campos, Ph.D. Sacramento Institute for Redecision Therapy

1606 Oakview Drive Roseville, CA 95661, (916-786 2290)

Or www.TA-doctor.com

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PERU: New Life From Old Roots by Phyllis Jenkins, MA, LMFT, CGP

“Nueva Vida desde Vieja Raices”: New Life From Old Roots!

Our South American colleagues started the conference with official welcomes, a blessing by an ancient South American medicine man, and celebration of traditional Peruvian dance by two children from a local dance troupe! Over 300 people attended this

wonderful conference in Lima, a city bustling with rebuilding: roads, apartments and the like. Our hosts placed us in an unusual hotel: a residential hotel for families visiting relatives in the military service! We were very secure with two armed guards overlooking the hotel all the while we slept and taxi service to the meeting site daily.

I arrived at 1am Sunday morning, greeted by David Rojas, conference administrator and psychologist, and driver…and Victor Maldanado, PhD, Mexico City, who had also just arrived. Victor was to be my new friend, guide, travel companion and translator throughout most of my stay in Peru. Instead of resting on Sunday as planned, I whisked away with Victor and John Oates (Steff Oates husband; Manchester, England) to charming markets and a truly, gourmet lunch in a tiny restaurant at one of the markets. Many such surprises awaited us in the days following.

Eventually, Felipe Garcia, Leonard Campos and Marilyn Marx became part of our travel group …the guys doing the translating while Marilyn and I said, “Si!...” and “Gracias” a lot! We made our way to Cusco, land of the Sacred Valley, and a resting spot before taking a train to Aqua Caliente, a home base to destination: Machu Picchu! It was just grand to be with people ‘from home’ in visiting the distant culture from the past in Machu Picchu; a dream come true! In spite of difficult climbs and thin air, this was a magical experience laced with groans when bags were misplaced, animated discussions over where or when to eat, laughter, awe-inspired sighs, and snores on the train…documented with many pictures.

During conference week, we joined colleagues from all over the world to tour Lima, weekends and evenings. One of my translators introduced me to Lindsey Buck, a Peace Corps worker from Pennsylvania who was serving as staff for a home for girls raped by their fathers; this in one of the poorest sections of Lima. Lindsey and I shared lunch with her friend, Andre, who was a terrific guide in this sprawling ocean-side city with so much history. Lindsey said that the girls were all so grateful to have a safe haven

and a place to heal and grow. The home was in the same desolate neighborhoods where the girls lived originally. It was discovered that if the girls were removed from the neighborhood, it was very difficult to reunite them with their original communities. When asked, why not let them move out of the area and on, the answer was obvious: the conditions were so desperate that it might encourage people to feign family incest to advance one or more children from the family out of the ghetto.

Presenters, beside myself, from the United States: Leonard Campos, Felipe Garcia, Steven Karpman, Robert Massey, Vern Masse, Marilyn Marx, and Claude Steiner. Presentations were well attended and met with enthusiastic audiences, high-level participation and authentic dedication to learning. There is high interest in Redecision Therapy in South America; it was great to share Redecision concepts!

Participants were well taken care of by Peruvian hosts – with good humor and genuine affection, evenings concluded with Pisco Sours, a specialty Peruvian drink!

There was much joking about who were the ‘old roots’ among the presenters. During the conference, the contrast between early, traditional TA practice and emerging TA concepts was the topic of lively discussions. A large student delegation attended conference offerings in exchange for volunteer work; identified by snappy neckscarves. I noted that this is something we could do here in the US as a way of engaging young professionals coming into the world of psychotherapy.

Another ITAA International Conference, punctuated with the change in leadership. Gianpiero was graceful in parting remarks, Rosemary energetic in assuming leadership. And I, energized by the experience of presenting with enthusiastic audiences, filled with new awareness of culture, warmed by friendship, enchanted with grand sights, and gawky in my landings as a gooney-bird (slipping, sliding, falling during tours). What could be better?

Next: New Orleans! Then, 2010 - Montreal!

Upcoming TA 101 in SF Bay Area

Senior TA trainers are joining forces to present a TA 101: Theory and Practice of Transactional Analysis on Nov. 14-15 in San Mateo, hosted by Fanita English.

Fanita, Lucie King, Carol Solomon, John McNeel, and Lucy Freedman will co-lead the course. Qualifies for 12 hours of CE credit. Contact gc@usataa for details.

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Bylaws Revisions by Bobbie Barry, Coordinator of Communication

Due to changes in the way organizational business is conducted, we are revising the Bylaws. The revisions require approval at our membership meeting in New Orleans and by proxy of those who are not present. Proposed changes include sending notices and voting by electronic means as well as by mail; changing notification deadlines to correspond to those specified in the California Corporations Code; allowing for proxies to establish a quorum; requiring meetings only once every three years; voting for Council members only when there are more candidates than positions. These changes will make communicating with our members and carrying out USATAA business more convenient and practical. Members may vote on the proposed changes by mail to the USATAA office before November 1 to be represented at the November 7 meeting in New Orleans. The current USATAA Bylaws may be found on our website, www.usataa.org. The exact changes are listed below.

ARTICLE IV

Meetings

OLD VERSION Section 1. There shall be an annual business meeting. The Coordinating Council shall announce the annual business meeting; the time and place will be announced to the membership, at least 30 days prior to the meeting, by placing a notice in the NET or by sending special letter, which will be sent to the member's address of record.

NEW VERSION Section 1. There shall be a regular meeting of members at least once every three years, at a place, date and time to be determined by the Coordinating Council. The Coordinating Council shall notify the membership of the place, date and time of the meeting, and of the general nature of those matters which the Council, at the time the notice is given, intends to present for action by the members. Other matters may be voted on only if one-third of members eligible to vote are present. If Council members are to be elected, the notice shall include the names of all those who are nominees at the time the notice is given. Notification shall take place not less than 10 nor more than 90 days before the date of the meeting, or, if by notice in the NET, at least 20 days prior to the meeting. Notice by first class mail shall be sent to the member’s address of record and notice by electronic mail shall be sent to their email address of record. Notice may also be sent by any other manner authorized by the then current California Corporations Code.

OLD VERSION Section 2. Special business meetings of the Association may be called by the Coordinating Council at the written request of a majority of the Coordinating Council or ten percent (10%) of the membership; time and place will be

announced in writing to the membership, at least 30 days prior to the meeting, by placing a notice in the NET or by sending a special notification, which will be sent to the member's address of record.

NEW VERSION Section 2. Special meetings of members may be called by the Coordinating Council at the written request of a majority of the Coordinating Council or ten percent (10%) of the membership. The Coordinating Council shall notify the membership of the place, date and time of the meeting, and of the general nature of the business to be transacted. No other business may be transacted. If notice is not given within 20 days of receipt of the request, the persons entitled to call the meeting may give the notice. The meeting shall be held not less than 35 nor more than 90 days after receipt of the request. Notification shall take place by placing a notice in the NET at least 20 days prior to the meeting, or by first class mail or electronic message sent to the member’s address of record or email address of record at least 10 days prior to the meeting, or in any other manner authorized by the then current California Corporations Code.

OLD VERSION Section 3. A quorum at such annual or special meetings shall consist of 10% of the membership of the association. Ballots by mail will be made available on request to those members unable to attend the meeting. . A quorum is necessary at any annual or special meeting before a vote may be taken.

NEW VERSION Section 3. A quorum at such regular or special meetings shall consist of 10% of the membership of the association present in person or by proxy. Proxies will only be used to establish a quorum. Ballots by mail will be made available on request to those members unable to

Fall 2009 USATAA NET 5

attend the meeting. A quorum is necessary at any regular or special meeting before a vote may be taken.

ARTICLE V Governance and Structure

OLD VERSION Section 2. Final decisions about governance are made by the membership in a business meeting.

NEW VERSION Section 2. Final decisions about governance are made by the membership in a meeting of members or by written ballot. The ballot may be sent to members and returned to the Association by electronic transmission, as specified by the then current California Corporations Code.

OLD VERSION Section 3. The Coordinating Council shall consist of five (5) members elected by the general membership in a business meeting and serving for a three-year period on staggered terms. The Council shall designate a General Coordinator from among its members.

NEW VERSION Section 3. The Coordinating Council shall consist of five (5) members elected by the general membership in a meeting of members or by written ballot and serving for a three-year period on staggered terms. When there are not more candidates for the Council than the number of vacancies, no vote or written ballot is required. The Council shall designate a General Coordinator from among its members.

OLD VERSION Section 5. When a vacancy occurs on the Council, the Council members may select a designee to serve as a full Council member pending a vote of the general members in an election at the next business meeting.

NEW VERSION Section 5. When a vacancy occurs on the Council, the Council members may select a designee to serve as a full Council member pending a vote of the general members in an election at the next meeting of members or by written ballot.

ARTICLE VII Amendments

OLD VERSION Amendments to these Bylaws shall be recommended by the Council and ratified by the USATAA membership in a business meeting by a simple majority of the total of the members present and the ballots mailed in by absent members. Amended Bylaws shall take effect immediately unless otherwise stated in the amendment.

NEW VERSION Amendments to these Bylaws shall be recommended by the Council and ratified by the USATAA membership in a meeting of members or by written ballot. Amendments shall pass in a meeting of members by a simple majority of the total of the members present and the ballots mailed in by absent members. Amendments shall pass by written ballot when the number of votes cast by ballot within the time period specified equals or exceeds the quorum required to be present at a meeting authorizing the action and the number of approvals equals or exceeds the number of votes that would be required to approve at a meeting at which the total number of votes cast was the same as the number of votes cast by ballot. Amended Bylaws shall take effect immediately unless otherwise stated in the amendment.

ARTICLE IX Dissolution

OLD VERSION Section 1. Motions for dissolution shall be evaluated by the Coordinating Council but must be ratified by a majority of the USATAA membership in a business meeting or by mail.

NEW VERSION Section 1. Motions for dissolution shall be evaluated by the Coordinating Council but must be ratified by a majority of the USATAA membership in a meeting of members or by written ballot.

6 USATAA NET Fall 2009

How We Say What We Say by S.J. Mackenzie, CTA

how we say

what we say

with words and sounds with faces with eyes with hands with our whole body

is how we are understood

even we not knowing all we say.

words

come out

fast slow loud soft

jerky smooth and

sometime not at all!

only one part of what we say.

simple sounds secretly say to the listening ear what we hope to hide . . . messages provide protection - - - - no confrontation.

faces

visible to all, are traitors to our deception and mirror our emotions.

if our inner states are to remain . . . . unobserved; a mask we create for our protection.

eyes

peer deep and say what is deepest. to look away not to see or be seen to get away.

look away and you say

“I don’t want to hear what you say.”

or

“what I want to say I am afraid to say.”

hands

strong limp rough smooth warm cold

can show others how we meet the world.

movement and position

how we move how we sit or stand is the picture of how we feel.

how close our bodies are is how close we want to be.

we speak

to all who see us who hear us and to whom we make a difference.

what we say

with words . . . . . with eyes with body . . . . . with face with movement . . with hands with closeness . . . with distance

will mean nothing,

unless someone cares, wants to know or tries to understand. what we . . want to say . . . or . . . try not to say.

to connect

there must be

a you and a me.

look . . . . . . see hear . . . . . . listen

all of you all of me

then we will understand

ourselves and each other!

SJ Mackenzie, CTA is an active member in the Southwest region..

Fall 2009 USATAA NET 7

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Jamaica 2010 15th Annual USATAA Gathering

January 30 – February 6, 2010 Frenchman’s Cove, Port Antonio, Jamaica

Fee $750.00 USD includes: 7 nights stay, room, breakfast, luncheon on the beach, 2 evening meals, gratuities, Gathering Registration and USATAA 2010 Membership

This popular Gathering welcomes anyone interested in TA, be they luminaries or novices. Everyone participates as leader and follower, teacher and learner. We create the daily program as we go along, without pre-arranged workshops. Ask for a topic you’d like to learn about, offer a workshop you’re working on, try an article out on your peers, or simply join in. Think of what you want to share and bring the materials with you to make it happen.

Frenchman’s Cove (www.frenchmans-cove-resort.com) is a rustic rain-forest property with a Great House, villas dotted throughout the 45-acre property, and a cove where the sea splashes onto white sands. Roads from the Great House to the villas and to the beach are great for walking and birding under a lush forest cover.

For general information contact: K. Dianne Maki / 908-234-1873 or dianne@makisethi.com Pre-register with a non-refundable $50 deposit before November 1, 2009. Balance due December 15, 2009.

Registration Form

Name ...................................................................................................................................................................................

Address ...............................................................................................................................................................................

Phone (Home) ................................................................ (Work) ................................................................................

E-mail ..................................................................................................................................................................................

Accommodations: I am interested in the Great House ........................ I am interested in a villa ............................

I wish to have a roommate: ................................................................................................................................................

* I will need accommodations before and/or after the Gathering: ..................................................................................

I am enclosing $50.00 pre-registration fee ............................. I am enclosing $750.00 registration fee: ................... Housing will be filled on a first come, first served basis. We will attempt to honor requests. * Frenchman’s has been filling up fast: Plan Ahead.

Make checks payable to: USATAA Jamaica 2010 and send to: Ravi Sethi – 110 Daly Road, Far Hills, NJ 07931

Note New Dates

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SPECIAL NOTICE: The Hilton St. Charles has extended our conference room rate until October 11, 2009. Granting requests to contain costs, early full conference fees are now frozen at $325/members; $340/non-members! Take advantage of these great rates! In addition to this very special conference, you will enjoy great New Orleans cuisine by Chef John Besh without leaving the hotel. Winner of the respected James Beard Award; named Best New Orleans Restaurant & Best Executive Chef 2007 & 2009; Food Arts Silver Spoon Award, January 2009 and too many other awards to name here. This acclaimed Chef grew up in Southern Louisiana and learned the essentials of Louisiana’s rich culinary traditions at an early age, which he brings to all of his four outstanding New Orleans restaurants. Of course, there is a lot to explore and enjoy a few blocks away in the French Quarter; you won’t want to miss that! Anne Teachworth, Southeast Regional Rep, lives in New Orleans, and has chosen local musicians to entertain us. The historic hotel itself is fascinating; the

meeting and sleeping rooms feel luxurious and are well appointed, New Orleans style. And that’s just the beginning…. We have top notch Presenters and Keynote Speakers, a one of a kind conference in a one of a kind setting! We will have great fun learning and growing together professionally, rekindling old acquaintances, making new ones…a fitting tribute to Mary Goulding. Check out the updated conference website: www.redecisionconference.org. If you have further questions, email Dianne Maki at makisethi@aol.com or me at phyllisbjenkins@aol.com.

See you in New Orleans

USATAA - NET 7891 Westwood Drive, Suite 103 Gilroy, CA 95020

Address Correction Requested

Save the Date

www.usataa.org

Jamaica Gathering

Jan 30 – Feb 6, 2010