E URYSSEYTUESDAY, JANUARY 12, 1960VOL. LXVII No. 34

New SportsFacilitiesPro lected

UBC could have a winter sports arena, a rowing and sailingcourse, and the University Golf Course within five years, pre-dicted MAA President Ian Stewart last week .

Other possibilities are a ne wwomen's gym or field house, and giv emore athletic fields,

said .

Greek gals compete for Mardi Gras Crown . They are (back row, left to right): Marie Karlsen ,Kappa Alpha Theta; Barb Salonen, Alpha Delta Pi : Elaine Bisset', Gamma Phi Beta ; MaryHudson, Alpha Gamma Delta ; Anne Kelly . K appa Kappa Gamma. (Front row, left to right) :Reni Lefohi1, Delta Phi Epsilon ; Pat Killy. Alpha Phi; Sandra Sheppard, Delta Gamma ;Theresa McNally, Alpha Omicron Pi.

King and Queen Candidate sHead Mardi . Gras Pep Meet

Thursday is the big day for the Greek Letter Societies .This is the day of the Annual vocal group from Vancouver will

Mardi Gras Pep Meet in the also entertain .Voting for both the Kings and

Queens will take place at th ePep Meet and the Mardi Gra sDance this year .

Twelve fraternities have en-tered hopefuls for Mardi GrasKing. They are: Nick Scharfe ,

Problems On Columbi aNoted By Willisto n

The development of the Columbia is a difficult problem tosolve, B. C. Lands and Forests Minister Ray Williston saidFriday .

oThe minister pointed out thatWilliston, co-chairman of the

Canadian delegation to the jointCanadian-American Commissionon the Columbia, told a packe daudience in Buchanan 100 thatcommission members had beenmisquoted and the problem mis-tated by the press .

He said he wanted to clarifythe issue as it stands now .

He stated that building dam sin Canada will give downstreambenefits to present U .S. instal-lations which have been engin-eered to provide for expansionwhen upstream control is ef-fected.

The United States will ge tmore benefit than we will out ofany dams we build, and "ver yfew people realize this fact," hesaid .

He spent most of the hourshowing slides of present devel-opments and future sites as wellas diagrams and plans for pro -posed construction .

Three plans for developmentof the system are under discus-sion, Williston said, and asidefrom a difference between U.S .and Canadian aspirations, thereare complications from interestgroups on this side of the border.

people who stood to be floodedout under one plan would nat-urally prefer to see aziotheradopted, even if, from a powerpoint of view, their displacementproved ultimately more profit-able to Canada .

In a question period followinghis slides and talk, Willisto nsaid it was polioy that the Co-lumbia in B .C. would be de-veloped by public power inter-ests rather than private power .In other words, the B.C. PowerCommission will develop theColumbia .

One problem that remains ,however, is whether downstreambenefits that accrue from suchdevelopment should be sharedby all the people of the province ,or by only those served by theB.C. Power Commission, he said .

A question from the audiencepointed out that the areas to beflooded by future dams are unexplored by archeologists andwill they be investigated beforeflooding?

The minister replied that B .C .has never had a program to in-vestigate for archeological arti,facts, but that the problem wasbeing considered.

Alpha Delta Phi ; Gary Brothers ,Alpha Tau Omega ; Gary Bruce ,Delta Upsilon ; Robert Squires,Delta Kappa Epsilon; TerryBrown, Beta Theta Pi; MikeMiller, Phi Delta Theta ; PhilTingley, Phi Gamma Delta ; DaveSpearing, Phi Kappa Pi; ChrisDavies, Phi Kappa Sigma ; AllanChernov, Zeta Beta Tau; AlSmith, Zeta Psi; Axel Doulis ,Sigma Chi .

Mardi Gras will be held at theCommodore, Friday and Satur-day, January 22 and 23 .

Tickets went on sale yester-day at the AMS Office at $6 pe rcouple and $3 single . Valuabledoor prizes, including a fur stoleand a wrist watch will be pre-sented .

Prizes for best costume wil lalso be given .

The number of tickets thatwill be sold is limited.

Reg i strati onNow On ForB. C. Election s

Over 800 students turned outto register yesterday, the 'firstday of a week-long provincia lelection registration campaign .

Those students who have no tregistered are reminded that, un-like federal elections, you mustregister yourself at a given timebefore elections .

To qualify for the election yo umust be 19 years old, a Britis hsubject, and have resided inCanada for 12 months and inB.C. for 6 months .

Naturalized citizens are re-minded that they must have thenumber of their naturalization

See REGISTRATIO N(Continued on Page 8)

The possibility that the uni-versity may be able io leasethe golf course at a moderaterate from the provincial govern-ment has brought these' otherprojects to the fore .

Plans for a winter sports arenafell through last year becauseUniversity Hill residents with-drew support. Apparently the yfelt that they themselves woul dnot derive . ' sufficient benefi tfrom it if it was built in con-junction with the university .

If the university controlledthe golf course an agreementmight be set up whereby Uni-versity Hill got a share in thegolf course for community use i nreturn for support and financia laid in building the arena .

Confronted with all thesediverse possibilities Student sCouncil has set up a committe eto make a comprehensive investi-gation of athletic and recreation-al facilities on the campus .

The committee consists ofStewart, Inge Andreen, secretaryof WAD, and John Goodwin ,first member. Additional mem-bers may be added later .

The committee will make astudy of the use_ to which allexisting facilities are being put .

They intend to pay special at-tention to recreational facilities .They want to tabulate the needsof those students who want t oplay occasionally just for fun.

"This is a difficult task an dwe will, need all the help we ca nget," said Stewart.

The statistics compiled' willform the basis for a report whichwill suggest methods of makingbetter use of existing facilitiesas well as recommending theconstruction of new ones .

The committee also plans tolist the new facilities needed inorder of importance so tha tthose most inadequate will ge tpriority .

For instance, Stewart felt thatrecreational facilities were sadlylacking. He cited the - bowlingalley as the only good recreation-al establishment on the campus .

The committee will study aneed for more tennis courts,squash courts, handball courts ,and a recreational swimmingarea .

"Some of the existing athleticfacilities, such as the women'sgym, are quite inadequate," hesaid .

It is believed the 'concretefacts and figures that the com-mittee will gather will back updemands for need improvements .

It should be noted that this i sessentially a community servicerather than an athletic project.The recreational angle will be

Secretary NeededFor Men's Athletics

Deadline for applications forthe position 'of secretary of theMen's Athletic Association isnoon tomorrow at the Men'sClub Room.

According to a council spokes -man the position is one of grea timportance .

The successful applican twould act as secretary to MAAand would also sit on MAC (withfaculty representatives and theMAA president) .

The new secretary will finishthis term and continue throug hnext year .

Applications should be writ-ten and addressed to the AthleticDirector .

NEWMAN CLU BThe four discussion groups are

meeting this week. The Mondayevening lectures have started.There will be a ski trip to MountBaker this Sunday .

* * *CONSERVATIVE CLUB

General meeting today inBuch 203 . All members are urgedto attend .

* * *EL CIRCULO

Professor Kobbervig will beshowing slides of Mexico in Buck204 at noon. Admission free.

* *i * IUNITED NATIONS CLU B

United Nations Club Generalmeeting Tuesday 12 :30 in Be,100. Important activities to bediscussed.

* * *NURSING

Students registered in First,Year Arts who are interested-in

See `~WEEN CLASSE S(Confirmed on Page 8)

Armouries .Featured will be. presenta-

tion of the Queen candidates ,skits put on by the King candi-dates, and the famous Professor' sSkit .

The "Four Winds," a popular

the most emphasis, Stewar t

'tween classesRAY SIKORATO PLAY HER EJAll SOCIETY

_ -Ray Sikora Quartette—in the

Jay Jay and Kai style—'Wed-nesday noon in the Auditorium ,25c. Members free.

* * *LECTURE

Professor Hans Heinrich Bor-cherdt of the University ofMunich will deliver a lecture on"Das Dichterische bei Scheil-ler" in Buchanan 217 on Thurs-day, Jan. 14 .

* * *

PAGE TWO

TH-E UBYSSE.Y . .

Tuesday, January 12, 1960

Authorized as second class mail by Post OfficeDepmtment, OttawaMEMBER CANADIAN UNIVERSITY PRESS

Published three times a week throughout the University year in Vancouverby the Publications Board of the Alma Mater Society, University of B .C .

itorial opinions expressed are those of the Editorial Board of The UbysseyLad not necessarily those of the Alma Mater Society or the University of B.C.

Teleephones : Editorial offices, AL . 4404; Locals 18, 13 and 14;'Surines$ offices, AL . 4404; Local 15. '

Senior Editor: Al Chernov

Reporters and Desk :

Morley Short, Art Powell, George Railton, Diane Greeall ,John Russell, Brad Crawford, Derek Allen, Fred Fletcher .

EDITORIA LIt seems necessary in the current state of internationa l

competitiveness to educate the greatest number of students in

the quickest possible time.

Everywhere quantity and speed is stressed . The number

of engineering graduates in the U.S.S.R. for a given year is

ompared to the number of engineering graduates in the U.S.A .The scientific achievements of the U.S.S.R . are the

objects of concern in the West and we are urged from all

sides to catch up with the greatest possible haste .

But our universities are too impersonal now without

The strain of bigger and bigger enrollments . If ever increasingquantity and speed is essential then this pressure must b e

off-set by some sort of personal student attention .

A university is an unsettling thing not only mentally

but emotionally . The student is introduced to a conglomeration

of ideas which conflict with ideas in which he has previously

felt secure .

Besides a probable conflict of idealogies, the college

student must face a number of conflicts in his relations with

other humap beings .

However, not only new concepts unsettle the student.

From the ages of 18 to 2.1 a great deal of character maturing

must take place, and each stage of maturing is an emotional

battle .

But there is little space or time in a quantity—orientate d

university to cater to emotional problems . The student is lef t

to find for himself, left to sink or swim, and for those that

sink there is too little concern or remedy.

It is unreasonable to the extreme-. to expect the student

to rely completely on .hirnself at such a difficult stage in his life .

The universities must shift their emphasis more towards th e

individual student, even with increases in enrollment, or else

they can expect more reoccurances of last weekend 's tragedy .

SIR THOMAS WOLFITT

PRESENTS HIS FAMOUS CHARACTE R

SKETCHES FROM- SHAKESPEAR E

ORPHEUM THEATR E

Special low price tickets for studentson sale in A.M.S: Office

WATCH FOR COMPLETE .LIST OF THE TERM'SEVENTS IN FRIDAY'S PAPER .

Editor-in-Chitef: R. Kerry Whit e

Associate Editor Elaine BissettManaging Editor Del Warre nNews Editor Bob HendricksonC .U.P. Editor Irene Fraze rClub's Editor . Wendy BarrFeatures Editor Sandra Scot tHead Photographer Colin LandiePhotography Editor Roger McAfee

t

list Minute Club m i s s Tonight

" . . . Filmsoc and its damn war pictures . . ! "

The Editor ,The Ubyssey .

Dear Sir :The implication made by Mr.

Mansfield (Letters, Ubyssey ,8th January) that people per-sue the Arts for purely ma-terialistic ends is a typica l"American" attitude . Blissful-ly Unaware that the programhe chose to criticize was butone of a series, he suggests tha tDr. Mackenzie only broadcast sto improve herself financially .

Dr . Mackenzie has set out i nher broadcasts to give an im-pression of a few poets and inthis she succeeds admirably .The purpose, if such a progra mneeds a purpose, is to remindof things once, read; to explainideas and methods and to sug-gest . to the listener other poetsand poems worth reading .

Money-minded cynics lik eMr. Mansfield all too oftentend to be the only voice thatis heard to comment. I hopeDr. Mackenzie realizes that he rprograms are appreciated bymany who are glad to escape ,for a few moments at least ,from the ever-growing worldof the Mansfields .

Yours sincerely ,Geoffrey Voss .

The Editor ,The Ubyssey ,Dear Sir :

Are we the graduating stu-dents interested in the Univer- ,sity? Are we proud of ourAlma Mater? It appears thatwe are not .

Today there was a meetingof the Graduating Class i nBuchanan 100 for the purpos eof hearing the election speechesof the Grad Class executiv enominees . Here is a list ofthose present :

1 .

LETTERS s TO THE EDITOR-

son for the poor attendance at The Editor ,this meeting. Perhaps theElection Committee can supplyus with a valid reason .

I

Ubyssey .

The Editor, 'The Ubyssey,Dear Sir :

In conjunction with yourverbal agreement of `ThunderDay 1959," May we ask your

:co-operation in fulfilling yourpromise : '

1 can of food per membereach for council and the Ubys-sey staff . The Hollenbergi ,owners of Thunder, have ver ygenerously donated a case ofcanned food to be given t oCentral City Mission . May wecount on you for your contri-bution by Wednesda, Jan .13th?

Thank you .Fran Charkow,

(on behalf of AWS )

STATEMENT OF POLICYThe Ubyssey is at all times

glad to print provocative edi-torial material as long as it i ssigned and typewritten . Thedeadline fol. such material i s12 :30 p .m . any day .

Opinions expressed in gues teditorials, letters to the edi-tor and editorial columns arenot necessarily those of theUbyssey .

The Ubyssey will not pub-lish letters to the editor un-less they are signed and type-written . Pseudonyms will beused on occasion, but not un-less the author's identity isknown to the Ubyssey .

—R. K. WHITE

Editor,The Ubyssey .Dear Sir :

Jahn Cum Maximum LaborisNorthfield has allowed us t ogoad him into desperate in-vective . Totiche' !

D. Sigurgeirson ,Arts III .

Don Munro ,4th Forestry

John Leesing ,4th Forestry

TUXEDO

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Dear Sir :

Is Canada a hation of weak-lings?-Have we striven to estab-lish a pseudo-humanitarianis m

by permitting a second rate

visitor to ignore completely ou rlegal and governmental insti-tutions? Are we overly lenientwith violators of our nationalboundaries? Yes! As a nationwe are soft-spined, we have n onational pride, nor have w erespect for any action thattries to maintain our Canadianunity . Is it not obvious that thewell - known infiltrator, Mr .Chan, upon obtaining a visitor' spermit to Canada, was not only

untruthful but treacherous idobtaining it? Under false pre-

tenses he entered Canada, an dthen established himself as "aman willing to help defendCanada." His reason was onlyto garner sentimental contactsto aid him in his quest to be-come a reputable immigrant .

Have we no faith in the gov-ernment that we ourselveselected? Do we not realize tha tthe Immigration Board know smuch better than we do whythe notorious Mr. Chan is notbeing voluntarily admitted t oour country? Obviously not formany Canadians force them -selves into a destructive con-formity because they feel tha tas soft-hearted sentimentaliststhey gain the respect of theworld .

—A Government Sympathize r

Some of the candidatesand seconders .Ten membersgrauating class .Two freshmen using Buc-hanan 100 as a lunchroom.

Since tradition shows tha tthe graduating students are in-terested in the University an dare proud of their Alma Mate rthere must be some other rea -

of the2 .

3 .

Forty UDC StudentsPerform For Blind

STORMOVE R

ASIADIRECTED BY V. I. PUDOVKIN

his film has been brought to UBC only with spec ipermission. It is an early Soviet film that is consj dered too shocking for British Columbia audienc e

TODAY

BY TH EB.C. CENSOR

BOARD

Future teachers are willin gto pay for males .

Here is a request for maleescorts at the Future Teachers 'Club's Dance in Brock Hal lSaturday .

The second annual conferencesponsored by the College of Edu-cation will be held on the cam-pus this coming Friday and Sat-urday.

The 120 delegates from 60 B .C .High Schools are mostly younggirls who hope to enter the Col-lege of Education next fall .

A request for 50 male escort sfar the large dance held in BrockHall Saturday evening has beenmade by the Education Under -graduate Society .

All interested male student sare asked to contact the Confer-ence Chairman, Bill Elliott, a tWA 2-1379 before Wednesda ymidnight .

All expenses incurred by th eescorts will be paid by the Edu-cation Undergraduate Council .

Refreshments, prizes, and aname band will add to the eve-ning's entertainment .

Funderal services fo rBernard Clarence Baron swill be held at the Nort hSurrey Funeral Home ,Wednesday, January 14 .1 :30 p .m .

Barons, who was a 4thyear science student atUBC, was killed in an autoaccident Friday, January8th, while on his . way toschool .

Coaching of French 116, 120 ,210 by experienced teacher .

Telephone RE 3-2664mornings or 8 to 11 p .m.

THE RIDDLE

F. JAN. 3 1

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INSTALLATION O FREV. M. JOHN Y. SHAVER

B.A .

asUnited Church Chaplain

in the Universityin

Union College ChapelSunday, January 10th

3:00 p .m.

By MARY SHAKSPEAR E

Last night, the Blind School Auditorium at 1101 WestBroadway echoed with the sounds of Broadway musicals, ba 1lads, jazz, classical music' and fraternity songs .

The programme, staged for musical tunes .members of the White Cane Other vocalists were fol kClub, was arranged by Patti singers Kerry Feltham and DaveDarling, president of Associated Sproule, the song teams of Phi -Women Students and Paul Hazell Gamma Delta and Alpha Gammaof the National Federation of Delta, a "Fiji" Quartet, and bal -

lCanadian University Students . lad singeer, Dr . Cox .MC was Jim Meekison .

Among the 40 UBC students i Because of the success of-lastwho took' part, .were Carol ,Stien night's programme, the posstplaying classical piano, • Brian ~ bility of a second concert unde rGalliford popular piano and San- I UBC organization, is now bein gdra Browning singing Briadway contemplated for early March .

• asubsidized university-educatio n• sun, er employment• the Queen's commission upon graduatio n

ot, can begin a career as a professional naval officer NOW and stil lcomplgts your present university course.

'rough the Regular Officer Training Plan (ROTP), the Royal Canadia nNavy Offers you a'ftilly subsidized university education leading to a bac-calaureate degree and a challenging career .

You are eligble to apply for a naval ROTP cadetship NOW if you

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APPLIED SCIENCE CEINGINKERlNG )SCIENCE ARTS or EDUCATIO N

• will graduate i96b ' 1961 dr Y962, with the requiredminimum of credits in Calculus and Physics .

Call at your University Placement office today and

• get your own copy of the Navy's brochure Careers& thethe Rua' Canadian Navy .

• make an appointment for an interview with the nava lUniversity Liaison Officers who will visit your campus£during this academic year.

OFFICER CAREERS,NAVAL HEADQUARTERS*OTTAWA, CANAD A

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PAGE FOUR.

THE UBYSSEY

Tuesday, January 12, 1960

' University NotFilling Functio n

By GRANT B. LIVINGSTONE

"The university does not fulfill its function unless itanswers basic questions—it cannot operate in a vacuum . "

the most basic question

Our manner of reckoningtime rightly centres on this manwho told His executioner, Pon-tius Pilate, the Procurator, of anobscure Roman province at th edividing of A .D. from B .C ., `Mykingdom is not of this world' . "

large,' the representative manGod intends man should be,"said the -Anglican College's. pro -fessor of New Testament .

Iles is the change He makes i nthe lives of His followers," sai dthe professor .

With too many people of Uni-versity level in other areas oflearning, their knowledge bfChrist ended at Sunday Schoo llevel . This childishness of un-derstanding could quickly b eremedied if they would star treading the New Testament fo rthemselves, , he said .

He commended a new pocket-book translation of the Fou rGospels at the bookstore, by anEnglish scholar, E . V: Rieu . Rieubegan the work of translation askeptic, at the urgence of hi sson, a lay preacher, but at it send, he declared it had changedhim .

"These (the Four Gospels )Son of man,

opens on June 27 and continue sto Sept . 17 .

In the Festival theatre, threeShakespearean plays will be pre-sented : "Romeo and Juliet," di-rected by Michael Langham an ddesigned by Tanya Moiseiwitsch ,with Julie Harris and BrunoGerussi as the "star cross' dlovers" ; "King John," directedby Tyrone Guthrie and designe dby Miss Moiseiwitsch; and "AMidsummer Night's Dream," di-rected by Douglas Campbell anddesigned by Brian Jackson .

A new production. of "H .M .S .

Once again an InternationalFilm Festival will be held inthe Avon Theatre (during th etwo weeks commencing Aug . 22)at which important new motionpictures from many differen tcountries will be shown .

"Butunanswered in today's university`What is man?' is `truly answeredin the New Testament," de-clared Prof . Geooffrey Parke -Taylor to over three hundre dstudents filling Buchanan 106 inthe first 1960 lecture of VCF' sFriday noon series .

"Jesus Christ was `man writ

Then, as now, people wer elooking for a revolutionar yleader who would radicallychange world conditions . But !bear the seal of th eHis revolution was to be in man I and they are the Magna Cart ahimself—a revolution of ,the of the human spirit," he testi-spirit . The greatest of His mira- € fied .

Stratford FestivalOffers Wide Variety

This year, the Stratford Shakespearean Festival offers asusual a wide gamut of entertainment both musical and dramatic .

The Stratford Festival of 1960

—Pinafore," a continuation of ti eMusicians' Workshop, concert sby the National Festival Orches-tra with Glenn Gould, OscarShumsky and Leonard Rose asresident artists, and an interna-tional conference of composer swill be among the features ofthe Music Festival .

ANNUA LSAL E

CASUAL JACKETS, SPORTSH I RTS ,TOPCOATS, SUITS, SPORTSCOATS ,

SWEATERS, ETC . ETC.

Annual Exhibition Of Architectur eTo Be Displayed At UBC Art Gallery

RICHARDS & FARIS HMENSWEA R

802 Granville Street, Vancouver ,and the

COLLEGE SHOP, BROCK HAL L

A Fine Selection

of Wonderful Values

Ghana's Varied Cultur eDiscussed By Oberlande r

By GEORGE RAILTONUbyssey Staff Reporter

Ghana is trying to accomplish in one generation what therest of the world has done in 200 years, according to Dr . Ober-lander, a member of the Faculty of Agriculture . .

Dr . Oberlander, who was sent'to Ghana in West Africa by the 1 The films shown were mainlyUN as advisor in the establish- on architecture, cities and towns .

ent of a town planning school,

"Africa is the continent whichmentgave a noon-hour lecture yester `n e will hear more of in the nex t

day in Buchanan 106 .:

-10-20 years," he said .

He compared Ghana with B .C .,

He gave a piece of its pasthistory in showing pictures of

saying that it is one quarter the 17 or 18 century buildings nowsize with a population of five holding up to 100 people .to six million .

He said that the buildings tel l"It is trying to catch up in the fullest story of what is talc,

,one generation 'what the rest of ing place just now .

.

the world has done in 200 years,"

Ghana has great hopes of be-he said .

coming a leader in the aluminu mHe described the country as a production with the discovery of

conglomerate of people, climates, Bauxite near a hydro powerbackgrounds and cultures,

potential, he said .

The UBC Art Gallery willopen the spring term on Jahuary19 with the annual edition ofarchitecture and a Smithsonia nInstitution display of Finnis hrugs .

Two winning models submitte dby UBC students will be in-cluded in the Pilkington awards

. in the architecture exhibit .Forty-one designs shown in

painted sketches and hand-woven samples will be repre-sented by nine leading Finnis hweavers .

The rugs were assembled fo ra competition in Finland .

The work of the award win-ners will be shown in deep-piledrugs handicrafted in brilliantcolours .

Viewing 'hours of the exhibi-tion, which will continue unti lFeb. 6, will be from 10 :30 a .m .to 6 p.m., Tuesdays throug hSaturday, and from 7 p .m . to9 p .m., Tuesday.

BARBER SHOPHEADQUARTER S

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Special Attention forUniversity Functions2723 West 4th Ave .

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1960 and 1961 Engineering or Honour Science Gasses

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has openings for permanent employment for Graduatin gand

-openings for summer employment for those in Class of '6 1

n

PRODUCT RESEARCH – DEVELOPMENT – PRODUCTION SUPERVISIO NENGINEERING–TECHNICAL PACKAGING–QUALITY CONTROL AN D

INDUSTRIAL ENGINEERING

Company representatives will be present for campusINTERVIEWS: January 18, 19, 20, 21, 1960

Personal interviews may be arranged through your Placement Office

Tuesday, January 12, 1960

THE UB.Y.SSEY

PAGE FIVE

Annual Symposiu mAgenda Announced

The topics f o r AcademicSymposium discussion groupsand panels are as follows .

1. The role of extra-curricu-lar activities in the tota l"education" of the student .

2. The abolishment of th e"7/8 rule . "

3. The instigation of a fullweek without lectures be -fore final exams .

4. The replacement of th eFreshman Year on campu sby province-wide seniormatriculation in h i g hschools .

There are places for 90 stu-dents in the group of 140 whichwill hold the fourth annualAcademic Symposium at Parks-ville, Vancouver Island, startin gFeb. 5 .

The other 50 delegates will bechosen from among the facult yand alumni .

Student delegates do not haveto represent any particular clubor organization, but will bechosen on a basis of a goo dscholastic record, general in-terest and activity in student andacademic affairs .

A second class average is- de -sired: of applicants .

The : Acedemic Symposiu mgives students a chance to dis-cuss and make suggestions con-cerning the academic programOf the university, to meet people

from other faculties, and tofreely exchange views withmembers of the faculty .

If interested, tear out the ap-plication farm in today's Ubys-sey and turn it in to the AM Soffice .

The cost of the weekend wil lbe $6 per delegate, other ex-penses being met by the spon-soring Faculty Association, AMS ,and , University Administration .

Participants will leave Van-couver at approximately 4 p .m .Feb . 5, and will return by 7p .m. Feb . 7 .

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE LECTUREHow spiritual awakening of The Christian Science Boar d

of Lecturship . She will speak inBuchanan 106 under the aus+ ,pices of The Christian ScienceOrganization of UBC. Her sub-ject will be "Christian ScienceReveals the Door to Life MoreAbundant . "

OPPORTUNITIES FOR

-PERMANENT EMPLOYMENT A T

IB MTo learn about the extremely desirable caree nopportunities available at International Busines sMachines besure to hear a

Short Talk With Color Film

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 13th, 196 0

at 12:30 p .m., Buchanan 162

IBM INTERVIEWIN GENGINEERING - MATHEMATICS - PHYSIC S

CHEMISTRY and COMMERC E

JANUARY 19th AND 20th

STUDENTS INTERESTED

Please arrange an interview through thePlacement Office, Hut M-7

THIS IS IMPORTANT !

Literature available at departmental officesand Reading Room in Personnel Offic e

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BUGHANAN 106

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Here is an opportunity to gain first-hand infor-

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a good banking connection at . `1111 BAN

BANK OF MONTREALeaxadaa 7vcae Vasa '-e S deeste

R. D. GARRETT - Provincial Manager619 Burrard Bldg.

Phone MU 3-3301

a big step on the road to success is an early banking connectio ntins.

U .B .0 DEPARTMENT OF THEATR Epresents

"ARMS AND THE MA NBy GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

January 21st, 22nd, 23rdUNIVERSITY AUDITORIUM — 8:30 P.M.

Reserved seats — Students Tickets $1 .00 and 50cAuditorium Box Office, 10 :00 a.m. - 4:3G' p .m .

APPLICATION FORMNAME

ADDRESS AT UNIVERSITY

YEAR AND COURSE OF STUDY TELEPHONE

SCHOLASTIC AVERAGE LAST FULL YEAR OF STUDY YEAR

SCHOLARSHIPS, etc

EXTRA-CURRICULAR ACTIVIT'IES

NOTE: Applications must be turned in to BOX 8, A.M.S. OFFICE, or to th eRECEPTIONIST, A .M.S. OFFICE, by 4 :00 p .m. on FRIDAY, JANUARY 22nd.

NOTE: Only those selected to participate will be notified .

brings freedom will be the topi cof a free lecture for UBC stu-dents to be given on Thursday ,January 14th by Sylvia N . Pol-ing of Phoenix, Arizona .

A Christian Science teacherand practitioner, Miss Poling i son extended tour as a member

,, T . H E U.- B Y S Sig* Y

Tuesday, January 12, 19fi1I ,

By ERNIE HARDER(Ubyssey Sports Editor) -

UBC 's youthful Thunderbirds dropped a 79-78 cliffhanger.to Alberni's pace-setting Athletics Saturday night—but not be -fore convincing over 600 enthusiastic onlookers that this univer-sity 's senior hoop contingent could be the most respected cre win the inter-city circuit by playoff time .

Though sharp shooting Gary Panton sparked the fast -breaking A's to a 28-19 first-quarter lead, Jack Pomfret's clos echecking blue and gold hosts narrow the visitors' edge to four .points by halftime .

UBC sailors Doug Helmer and Sandy Robinson sail by th eUniversity of Washington crew in weekend regatta .

Crawford think

Sailing Cup StaysIn UBC Trophy Case

by BRUCE TAYLO R

: The U.BC . Sailing Team re-tained their lead in Inter-col-legiate sailing competition thi s'weekend with another amazin g'series of victories .

Competing against stron gii ,:,teams from the University o fI

Washingtoh ; Seattle University ,„ and, the University of Puget' i Sound the local tars won allfour races. Season's recordstands at 11 first and 1 second .

FIRST REGATT AThis was the first regatta that

the U.B .C. team had sponsored .Final standings in the double

knockout event was UBC, first ,followed by U. of W., U. ofSeattle and University of PugetSound .

In the first race U.B.C. de -

feated the team from UW by anarrow three . .-.point marginwhile UPS beat SU. UWbounced back in the next racewinning against SU. UBC de-feated UPS in another closevictory .FINAL TO UB C

The semi - final draw sawUniversity of Washington tak eUniversity of Puget Sound . TheU of W team met U .B .C. in thefinal . UBC swept the final eventto take the Regatta Perpetua lTrophy .

In the consolatidn round SUdefeated UPS to finish third .

Sailing conditions were idea lon the Saturday meet Wind helda steady southeast ten for th ewhole series. There was only on erace in which U.B,C : . .slid . notdominate .

by ALAN DEFOE

(Ubyssey Sports Staff)

Varsity consolidated its holdon. first place in the men's gras shockey A. Division with a 7-0win over North Shore A at UBCNo. 1 Field on Saturday afte rnoon .

Scoring for the winners wer eVic Warren with four goals ,Gordie Forward with two goals ,and Nelson Forward with asingle goal.

According to • Dr . MalcolmMcGregor, Varsity played to-getheras a team. particular ,he praised the combination ofGordie F,"orward, Art Temple ,and Ronnie Lee's by calling_- it'brilliant” in attack, Further-more he added that the entireVarsity defence wes "impreg-nable." Dr. McGregor noted ,however, that _ next -week' Vat scity will face much stiffer op:position from the second placeGrasshopper A eleven in a gamescheduled for Saturday on UB CNo . 2 field .

The 'Hopper A squad defeate dUBC Blues 3-1 at Cannaugh tPark on Saturday.

The former team now has awon-lost record of 8-1 and trail sVarsity only by virtue of an in-ferior goals-for-and-against aver-age .

In the latter game, Blues heldthe Grasshoppers to a 1-1 half-time count before bowing in thesecond stanza . Mike Gerry firedthe losers' lone goal .

hl a final A Division en -counter on UBC No. 2 field, theUBC Golds came from behind t odefeat West Coast Rangers 5-3 .Sparked by the three goal hattrick of Peter St . John, theGolds , took firm command o fthe contest in the second half.Peter Buckland and John Kerreach scored a goal for the win-ners .

Meanwhile, in an early BDivision game on UBC No . 1pitch, the second place Grasshop-per B eleven shutout the .seven-th place UBC Pedagogue crewby a 2-0 score . Still undefeated ,India B with a won-lost-tied re -cord of 8-0-2 continues to leadthe eight team circuit .

STUDENTS!LEARN THE . FUNCTIONS OF PROVINCIA L

GOVERNMENT DEPARTMENTS BY GETTING YOUR

FREE SUBSCRIPTIONto the

"BRITISH 'COLUMBIA GOVERNMENT NEWS "

WRITE TO :

,B.C. TRAVEL BUREAUParliament Buildings,Victoria, B.C .

SAMPLES ARE ON FILE WITH YOU RUNDERGRADUATE SOCIETY

Jack Pomfret's playoff hungry'Birds held a shaky 59-58 com-mand .

Ahbotsford NighBrats Braves . .

UBC Braves split two week-end exhibition basketball game swith local high school teams .

The Braves dumped Gladstone58-41 Friday at the War Memor-ial Gym, but were shocked 61-50by a sizzling Abbotsford Hig hfive. The Braves are UBC'sthird team .

HALFTIME LEA DScore at the half was 43-39 .

_ Throughout the contest UB Cmissed chances from close in ,but steady performances fromthe field ,by rookie Bill Berar-dino and veteran Ken Winslad eput 'Birds ahead for the firsttime la the third . quarter .

Alt the end of the third frame ,

'Ov''Afte'' ammo'

*a' zcsao.resvIcoo

TUESD'AXBadmihton — UBC Second

team vs: Point Grey, Memoria lGirls, 8 :6e p.m . "

WEDNESDAYThunderette Basketball vs .

Richmond at Churchill .

FRIDA YThunderbird Basketball a t

University of Sask .Thunderettes vs. Hastings at

Memorial Gyro .Globetrotters at Memorial

1 Gym, 8 :30 .

SATURDA YWomen's Hockey hostess event

Afternoon .Globetrotters at Memoria l

Gym;-8:34.Swimming .Women's Hockey, Varsity vs .

Alums, 2 :00, Connaught .Squash Tournamentt at Van-

couver Rackets Club.UBC vs. North Van, 2:30 at

called timeout.Mainstay Barry Drummond

drove in toward the opposition' shoop officials called "charging "—and that's how it ended .

UB.0 IMPROVINGThough the- Pomfret- men ar e

making defensive .mistakes andmissing oportunities on the at-ta4, they are noticably gainingconfidence and co-ordinationwith each outing. Saturday's dis-play at the gym was high-scor-ing, crowd-pleasing basketball .

The loss left UBC tied forthird spot with. Cloverleafs .However, the Leafs have two,games in hand .

OPEN WCIAU PLAY _ _UBC, who travel to Saskat-

chewan next weekend to opentheir WCIAU schedule, wil lmeet second place Dietrich-Col-lins and Eilers in their remainsing games in the, coast league.SCOREBOARD

Alberni - (79) - Williamson 7 ,Brown 9, Gailloux 4, Kootne-koff 8, Grisdale 8, Brinham 14 ,Bisset 13 Panton 12, Radies 4 .UBC - (78) - Lusk, Drummond 9 ,Way 2, Berardino 6, Hartley 6 ,Gushue 4, Osborne 10, Pedersen8, Dumaresq 3, Winslade 17,Martin 13 .

CONTROL BOARDSWith the experienced A's con-

trolling the boards and Thunder-birds counteracting with . an ef-fective display of defensivechecking, the game went intoa dramatic, fourth quarte rfinale .

The 'Birds, who did a fine joball evening of handcuffing shift yJohn Kootnekoff, couldn't de-fend against the outside shoot-ing of Gary Panton and DougBrinham .

PANTON SCORES

__Panton fouled out with jus t

over a minute remaining, butnot before he had sunk, wha tproved to be the winning bas-ket .

The final three minutes werestrictly strategy. It saw A's- g ointo an effectiv e . two-minute stal lWith just eight seconds remain-ing, UBC gained posession and

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The Braves' loss was only thei rfourth in 17 games . They hadpreviously defeated such tophigh school teams as Lord Byng ,Magee, and Courtney . Abbots -ford was led by Mike Penneywith 16 points . Braves' leaderswere Pete Hewlett with 10, an dDal Lansdell with 9 points .

In Friday's win, Al Ross ledthe scorers with 11 points. To-morrow the Braves take o ntheir league-leading adversaries ,YMCA, at the Lord Byng Gymat 8:30. Come and support UBC ' swinningest basketball team.

SPORTS DEPARTMENT

NEEDS MORE WRITERS

If your great ambition isto write for this page (whatan ambition . . . ) then comedown to the Ubyssey office seither Thursday or Mondaynoon .You don't have to get a firs t

class in that English 100 essayas long as you can run ove rto the Gym and back wit hnews .

FILMSOC PRESENTS . . ." O U T " . . The U.N. Film on the Hungarian

Revolution .

'"I'87day-12.30

Auditorium 15c or Series Pass , Iill .

e

Tuesday, .January 12, 1960

THE UBYSSEY

PAGE SEVEN

Co-Editors Ann Pickard. Ernie Harder .

Staff __es. Mike Hunter, Fred Fletcher, Alan Dafoe

The B.C . Lions have jumped into the race for Thunderbirdlineman Bill . Crawford ' s signature . .

The New York Giants of the National Football League-alsowant Crawford .

The race began late last week, <)when Crawford stunned

B .C . LIONS? -- NEW YORK GIANTS ?

University of B.C. swimmerssplashed to a 59-36 win over U.of Puget Sound in Tacoma onSaturday .

Thunderbirds were victoriousin their first meet of the seasondespite the late arrival of several.UBC competitors due to car,trouble . '

This development forcedCoach Peter Lusztig to use un-trained swimmers in severalevents . Diver Peter Pellottplaced second in the 200 and 400Metre- free-style events despitebeing unprepared. He alsocopped second in the diving, be -hind a team-mate .POUR RECORDS FAL L

Four tlBC swim records fellin the meet .

The medley , relay of B. Gil-christ, D . Page, B . Petersen, an dB. Bagshaw trimmed 23 .3 sec-onds from the 400 metre record ,swimming the distance in 4:50 .6 .

Bert Petersen beat the 200metre butterfly record by 12.6seconds. His time was 2:54 .5 .BACKSTROKE RECOR D

B. Gilchrist took 1 .8 secondsfrom his own 200 metre back-stroke record .

The 200 metre breaststrokerecord also fell .

Dennis Page grabbed this andone other win to lead the UB Cpaddlers who 'took six of elevenevents .

.aeie

' SportsShorts

SQUASHU.B.C. Squash team lost a

close 3-2' decision to the `Y 'last Thursday .

Winning IJ .B .C . players wer eIan Campbell and Chris Scott .Bill Whitelaw, Terry Wolfe an dPeter Hermant dropped matchesto the victorious competi-tors .

This weekend the Squash teamplays in the Pacific Coast Cham-pionships at the VancouverRaquets Club, Twenty-fifth andOak . Finals will be Sunday after-noon.

Badminton Team TakesStrathcona in League

The first Badminton tea mousted a- Strathcona ,squad 11-1in a Friday Night match .

`'Only losing team was the

Men's Doubles pair of Warre nBell and Ed Auld . They lost aclose three game match to th eStrathcona number one double spair .

In Women's Doubles ShirleyMcKelvey and Sid Shakespear ewon in close matches . SharonWhittacker and Lynn McDougal leasily took their matches .

In other Men's Doubles playKeith Tolman and Les Traber ttook two easy matches .

All teams won mixed doublesevents .

This team is still unbeaten inleague play. The second teamplays their first league matchtoday at the Memorial Gymstarting at 8:00 p .m .

MIKE AND STU SCOR ETop scorers in Saturday' s

game were Mike Chambers wit htwo tries and Stu Smith wit ha try and three converts . BobMcKee, Ralph Bagshaw an dNeal Henderson, who , has justreturned from the injured list ,each contributed one try .

Also in Miller ' Cup actionSaturday UBC Braves edge dTrojans 6-3 .

Braves are also showing u pwell in the race for Mr . Miller' strophy .

Their scoring was handled byTerry Culling who made a try ,and Benny Gilmore ,' who booteda penalty ,goal .

In the Carmichael Cup seriesUBC picked up a pair of vic-tories; both in ' the "A" division .

The Frosh "A" Squad white -washed West Van BarbariansSeconds 24-0 at Aggie Field .

Totems, a group 6f convertedfootball players competing forthe first time this season, brush-ed. past Meralomas Seconds 16 -12 .

UBC PE 'was - scheduled to .meet Wanderers at Douglas Par kin the same division ; however ,the game was postponed .WORLD CUP FEATURE

Birds-should be at the peakof their game when World Cuptime rolls around again .

This is an annual home an dhome series with the Universityof California .

Coach Howell will send hismen against U of C on Februar y25 and 27 in Berkeley .

UBC hosts the 'southerners intwo games at UBC stadiumMarch 31 and April 2 .

The winner will 'be decided bytotal points on the series .

GNUPS WORD SThunderbird Coach Frank

Gnup said that Crawford "ha sall the attributes, both physicaland mental, that go to make agood pro prospect . But Bill hasto want to make it ." Gnup em-phasized the words "want" and"desire" throughout the inter-view . "He's as good a prospec tas any player the Giants coul dget —he's as big (230 pounds)and as fast (Crawford ran wit hthe Bird's backs) as most' N .F .L.offensive linesmen."

Ubyssey Sports Editor ErnieHarder talked'with Crawford onthe . phone Sunday. Crawfordsaid that the Giants had sent hi ma letter earlier' in the' year ask-ing him if he would be intereste din playing with them if he wereoffered a contract . Bill sent theGiants a lettter ' saying he wasinterested, and he was 'sent a"standard N .F .L. contract . "

However, contrary to rumoursCrawford said he had been as-sured by Capozzi that if he missed with the Giants, he wouldbe given a tryout here .

BILL LINEMANBill, a fourth year Engineering

student, is graduating this yearand 'plans to play football"-which indicates he has some ofGnup's "desire ." He was a stand-out lineman. this year, and wa sinstrumental in. the Birds fineseason in which they won theW C I A U championship. Billlearned his football at Duke o fConnaught, and with the Van-couver Junior Blue Bombers . .

This interest in Canadian Col-lege talent is not new. CoachGnup say that every year h egets letters from , many of theAmerican pro teams, requestinginformation on outstanding Bir dplayers . ' He said that he hadgiven the Giants the names ofsome Birds several years ago-s =including Crawford's .

Rugg by WhaliopsEx-Brittanig 24-0

By FRED FLETCHER(Ubyssey Sports Staff )

UBC 's rugby juggernaut rolled over Ex-Brittania 24 toat UBC Stadium Saturday in their drive toward the Miller Cup.

The victory, t heir tenth .CRMICHAEL CUPagainst one draw and no de-feats, gave the Varsity squad atwo and one half game lead oversecond place Kats who lost atight 8-5 game to a strong Row-ing Club side at Brockton Oval .

Coach Howells club is now i nan excellent position and shoul dbe 'hard to dislodge from topspot now that they have jelledinto a team.

nil

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the

local sport world with the an-nouncement that the Giants hadsent him a contract for the 196 0

N.F .L . season. It is believed tha t

this is the first time that anAmerican pro team has offereda Canadian college player a con -tract .

B .C. Lions G .M. Herb Capozz iPhoned Crawford soon after thenews broke . Crawford met withCapozzi Saturday, and talke d

.with him again yesterday . Hemay possibly be offered a dea lwith the Lions .

"° Crawford himself said hewould rather play in the States

i because the football is betterthere :" .But of course, moneywil be a big factor in Bill's deci-sion .

-

The Cgliforniatandar4 Company

CALGARY, ALBERTA -

offering careers in

PETROLEUM EXPLORATION AN D

PRODUCTION

will conduct campus interviews on

January 13, 14 and 1 5

FOR POST GRADUATES, GRADUATE SAND UNDERGRADUATES IN :

Mining Engineering Permanent positions only

Mechanical Engineering __ Permanent positions only

Geological Engineering Permanent and summer

Honours Geology Permanent and summer

Physics and Geology Permanent and summer

ARRANGEMENTS FOR PERSONAL INTERVIEWS

MAY BE MADE THROUGH, THE UNIVERSITY' S

NATIONAL EMPLOTMENT OFFICE .

1 4 . .

' f t i H

. Vet lees !

f

. .1 i .B s 3 i R?' t' # 1 .s I .4 `J t#,

PAGE EIGHT

THE UBYSSEY

Tuesday, January 12, 1960

'TWEEN CLASSE S(Continued from Page 1 )

SHAKESPEARE INTER-NATIONAL HOUS E

The. first 200 UBC studentsasking for free passes to theSir Donald and Lady Wolfittpresentation of scenes fromShakespeare will get them ifthey say they were sent by Ka yRolinson of International House .Show up at the Seymour box of-fice of the Orpheum Theatre at8 tonight .

* * *

CARIBBEAN S.A.General meeting to presen t

revised constitution Jan . 14 at12:30 in Bu . 102 .

* * *VARSITY DEMOLAY

Meets noon Wed. in Bu . 219 .

N.V.C .Executive Meeting Wed . noon

in clubroom; General meetingThursday noon in Bu . 205 .

* * * .JAll SOCIETY

Jazz Week comes up in Feb-ruary. •

* * *STUDENT WIVES CLU B

Monthly meeting in the Mild-red Brock Room, Brock Hall ,Wed. at 8 p.m. Film on aspectsof child -psychology-Prof. Bel-yea speaker .

* *FILM SOCIETY

_"The Red Badge of Courage "

noon today in the Aud. Admis-sion—series pass or 35c .

* * *M.A.A.

All managers must atten dMAA meeting Wed .

* * *LIBRARY

"How TO USE The Library"one hour' lectures in rooms 85 2and 859 of the Library: Jan. 11to 15, 9 :30, 11 :30, 1:30 and 3 :30 .Jan. 16, 9 :30 and 11 :30.

* * *LIBERAL- CLUB

_General meeting noon Ieday ;

Bu. 22 . Outline for second ter mto be presented .

* * *FILM SOCIETY

U.B.C. RADIO BROADCAST SCHEDUL EU.B.C.Time Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday

8:30 Eye OpenerEye Opener

Eye OpenerEye Opener

Eye OpenerEye Opener

Eye OpenerEye Opener

Eye OpenerEye Opener

9:00Music Room Music Room Music Room Music Room . Music Room

10:00 MusicalShowcase

Musica lShowcase

MusicalShowcase

Musica lShowcase

MusicalShowcase

10:30 MusicalShowcase

MusicalShowcase

MusicalShowcase

Musica lShowcase

MusicalShowcase

11 100Works ofMasters

Works ofMasters

Works ofMasters

Works o fMasters

Works ofMaster s

A • Open House Open House Open House Open House Open House

12:30Open House Open House Open House Open House Open Hous e

1 :00Searchlight . ~.

MatineeSearchlight

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MatineeSearchligh t

MatineeSearchligh t

Matinee

1 :30Matinee Matinee Matinee Matinee Matine e

2:00 UpbeatMatinee

UpbeatMatinee

UpbeatMatinee

UpbeatMatinee

UpbeatMatine e

2:30 OpenMike

Latinos Latinos Latinos InternationalHouseparty

3:00 JazzUnlimited

JazzUnlimited

JazzUnlimited

JazzUnlimited

JazzUnlimited

3.30 Dixieland i sMy Beat

Dixieland isMy Beat

Dixieland isMy Beat

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4:00 Carnivalin sound

Carnivalin sound

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4:30 Carnivalin sound

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News on the Hour - Headlines on the Half-Hour

bgoeo gBat f~rnpan .INCORPORATED RK MAY 1670.

Opportunity Knocking !

Train for an executive career in DepartmentAdministration and Buying, Display, Person -nel Management in one of the Hudson's Ba yCompany's six large department stores locatedat Winnipeg, Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton ,Victoria and Saskatoon.

Male graduates in Commerce, Business Ac -ministration and Arts are provided a thoroughTraining Program consisting of :

• 4 month induction period covering all maja lstore functions .

• 2 year lecture course in merchandising .

• Training under an experienced Departmen tManager in Sales Management, Buying, De.partment Administration.

Retailing with the Bay offers the opportuii .ity to move ahead quickly to positions of re.aponsibility.

Make an appointment now through yore'Placement Officer to see our RepreseatatiWfor full details.

CAMPUS INTERVIEWS ONJANUARY 27 and 28th

m. ►rtta "amaugi'edea saw Ise.; .iq Haut tads .haooes . re -pes5zoggny

Summer Positions 120 0FOR

UNIVERSITY STUDENT SWITH THE

Public Service of Canada

$245 to $305 a Month

Up to $500 a MonthFor Under-Graduates

For Graduate Students

Plus travel allowances to and fro mpositions and, where applicable ,

subsistence in the field

Most positions are for students with a background i nEngineering or Science, notably Forestry, Geology andAgriculture, but some will be drawn from other facultiesas well.

POSTERS, DETAILS and APPLICATION FORMS at

UNIVERSITY PLACEMENT OFFIC E

CIVIL SERVICE COMMISSIONOFFICES

CLOSING DATE FOR APPLICATIONS JAN . 30th

"Storm over Asia" bannedin B.C.—noon today in Aud . ad-mission series pass or 75c . Also3:30 6 and 8 p.m .ALPHA OMEGA SOCIETY

Ukranian dancing today inroom 2, Education basement .

* * *

ing for information concerningthe program in Westbrook Build-ing, room 201, on Monday, Jan .18, at 7 :30 p .m .

* * *OBNOV A

The first meeting of this termwill be held on Wednesday t,

J

FOR RENTTwo nice individualnear West Point Grey shop-

Thursday : North Brock, Cafe

ping area are sitting waiting .

teria .

Breakfast optional .Why not, investigate?'

Friday : North Brock, Engin-

AL 2052eering, Education .

CANADAY

Employment° Opportunities1960

Representatives of our Company will be conductingemployment interviews on the campus 20th, 21st and -22n dJanuary and will be glad to discuss our requirements forregular and summer employment with graduating studentsand undergraduates .

Regular Employment—We have a number of interestingopenings in process, development, maintenance and designengineering,. technical service, financial and control, .person-nel, traffic and research, for graduates in chemical, mechani-cal and other engineering courses, chemistry, physics, science ,arts, economics, commerce and business administration .

Summer Employment—As assistants to Process, Develop-ment and Design Engineers and for vacation relief in account-ing, sales and production departments and the chemicallaboratories . Applications for employment are invited fro mmale students-in the courses and years listed below :

Class of1961 1962 1963

Chemical Engineering x

x

xMechanical Engineering x

xElectrical Engineering x

xEngineering Physics xChemistry (Honours or Major) _ x

x

xCommerce or Business Admin. _ x

xApplication forms, details 6T actual openings and inter -

view appointments can be obtained through Colonel J . F.McLean, Director of Personnel Services .

DU PONT OF CANADA LIMITE DPersonnel Division

P.O. BOX 660

MONTREAL, P . Q.

entering First Year Nursing , noon in Bu . 216 .next year are invited to a meet- All Ukranian Catholi c

dents are urged to attendimportant meeting .

* * *PRE-MED SOC

Presents Dr. M. Evans, speak-ing on the magnitude of theproblem of Cancer and the new-ness,of the solution Wednesday ,January 13, -in Wesbrook 100 a t12 :3.0 .

Stu-this

certificate as well as the court ~date and city in which the paperswere issued .

You may be registered at th efollowing booths set up dail yfrom 10:30 a .m. to•1:30 p .m. bythe UBC CCF Club !

Tuesday: South Brock, Bu-chanan, Library .

Wednesday : Cafeteria, Engin-eering, Education .

rooms

REGISTRATION(Continued on Page 8)

ROOM FOR REN TA large warm upper doubleroom, single beds, privat e

washroom': Bed and break -

fast . ALma 0751 .

IN A MOOBYSSEY PIG'S EARVANCOUVER., B .C . . TUESDAY, JANUARY 12, 1960

Frolic Frid aThat's the word of the week . It's thethis coming Friday .

If you've been here before you don't have to be told what it's like — but if yo uget a hold of the little woman and bring her to the Armories this Friday night .

You won't .regret it and neither will she. Look at the following features :

Dancing from 9.00 p.m. to 1 .00 a.m .

A swinging 6-piece orchestra .

The West Indian Limbo Dance at half time.

Refreshment counter -- and an opportunity for a really good time .

word for the year. It's the big annual Farmers'

Farmer s

WhitherTwong

By J ; PIERY

Ten thousand students and no ta single Twong Pouch. Whathas happened to UBC's owntrademark, the one that madeUBC famous before the EmpireRowing Crew in 1954 ?

Gone are the days when a tthe General Meetings, 3000 stu-dents, tears streaming down thei r

-faces and their throats choke dwith emotion, would sing theold UBC hymn, "There'll Al -ways be a Twong Pouch . "

But UBC has forgotten an dnow the Twong Pouch is nomore .

There isn't even a TwongPouch in the Museum of Anthro-pology !

Not even the once gallan tPubsters have accepted the chal-lenge to return the almightyTwong Pouch to it's rightfu lplace: into the hands of ever ystudent and the memories ofevery graduate.

The time once was when prac ,tically every student wouldshoulder his trusty Twong Pouchand set off to good old UBC eachmorning .

The Twong Pouch carried th eEngineer's beer, the Lawyer'sbooks, the Artsman's lollipops ,even the Pubster's typewrite rsafe and sound through thick andthin with never a bit of trouble .

For years the Twong Pouchwas compulsory equipment on

Continued on Page 4See WHITHER.

diet . apples .— Most important evidence to

date is the fact that Barf inci-dence is sharply reduced at UB Cfor a short period in the winter.after Aggie Apple Day, and tha tcompulsive apple munchers sel-dom contract the disease .

Aggie investigators in coop-eration with the Siam School o fMedicine are attempting to de-velop a test for Barf by passingstomach gasses through a ge tchromatograph .SPECIMENS NEEDE D

At present the research hbeen hindered by a lack of tes tmaterial . Persons who with toassist this research progr rn areasked to present themselves athe Animal Nutrition Lab be-tween 4:00 a .m. and 5 :30 am .any Sunday morning .

The only reliable treat±ne:L tfor Barf is a constant diet o fapples .APPLE CURE

UBC's Barf sufferers will bethankful to -know that Aggi eApple Day is at hands Applesmay be obtained for a small do-nation towards the CrippledChildrgn's Hospitals .

The price is - a reasonable$2 .50 per couple .

The music is superb, the atemosphere friendly and informal.

The dress is hard times . Altthat is necessary is that youcomply with the laws of the

I land regarding decency . of exposure at a university function.

Please do not expect admit-tance at the regular rateunless this condition is met.Prizes are awarded for .the

most original dress (or lack of it)and for the most comical attire .

SPIRI'T'ED FUNEveryone including Artsmen ,

Engineers . Foresters and Corn-mercemen (to name only a few)enjoy the frolic . Former ani-mosities are forgotten and rival-ries disappear (well, almost), aseveryone rises to the spirit(s)(liquid?) of the occasion .

The occasion demands onlyone thing — that you "get inthere" and enjoy yourself .

The big new feature of thefrolic this year is the inclusionof the Trinidadian dance groupknown as ' "TRINIDAD PRIMI-TIF." These fellows put on areally tremendous show . Atribute to their showmanship isthe fact that they have donerepeat performances at thehotels Vancouver and .Georgia,as well as many other notableplaces. They do such intricatedances as the LIMBO, BONGO ,DANCE OF STRENGTH . Themusic is provided by their owndrummers . -

The Farmers' Frolic in consjunction with Aggie week is al-most a traditional function. oncampus. Ever since 21 B.C .this campus has had a Farmers'Frolic dance .

. 4

HAIRY TIM EIt is during this week that the

Aggies are host to the rest ofthe campus.

How long is it since you have"let your hair down" and reallyhad a good time?. Why not cometo the Armouries Friday nightfor a truly fantabalous time .

Tickets can be obtained-fro many Aggie and at various pointsthroughout the campus .

See you at the frolic onFriday night .

Aggie scientistscomponents o f

Aggi~s Rampant F l olic

Rom pi n Campus HThis is Aggie Week.All this week Aggies in Stetsons and Boots will be rompin g

en the campus .Tuesday will bring the Moobyssey, the Aggie paper .

Wednesday will see the Aggiesselling apples to help the crip- kpled children .

Don't forget : an apple a day-keeps the doctor away but ifbought from an Aggie on Wed-nesday it will bring neededmedical aid to those-who at pres-ent have little hope of runnin gor playing .

At noon on Wednesday is th emonster Machinery Parade wit hthe Aggie Band. Get free milkwith your apple, only a limited 'supply Wednesday noon .. Dance or listen to the Aggie sBand. Remember, this bandWON'T be playing at FARMERS 'FROLIC . even we could notstand 64 guitars and a mouth or -gan .

On Friday Nite is the giganti cFarmers' Frolic . Anyone who ha sbeen to it, whether they be En-gineers, Artsmen, or what hav eyou, will tell you that it's th ebest dance on campus.

Dress is hard times with prize sfor the -best-dressed couple . Seeyou all on Friday at the Farm-ers . Frolic .

WHAT AM I ?The answer to that questio n

can win one of the tremend-ous prizes to be given awayat ta:e frolic . Come and see

the above object. Guesswhat it represents. . and winar,e-fsf the big prizes.

THE TRINIDAD PFIMATrF, will be the half time entertainment at the Farmers'Froli con Friday the 15th of January . The members of this group from the British , West Indiesare students at the University . Drummers are, Felix Assoon and Rudy Richards. Notshown Ron Rodgers . Dancers, Clinton Solomon and Lawrence Douglas .

Scientist Needs Your . BestSufferers burp For :ar t

Beef, an insidious disease of the stomach, and a common malady of studentat UBC, is under intensive study at the Animal Nutrition Laboratory here .

at UBC believe that it is caused by a deficiency of onethe human

of the

residences

necessary

vhaven' t„ -

4

Prayer Of A Faithful AggieNow-I lay me down to stee pI pray the Lord my soul to keepIf I should die before I wak eI've only five requests to make .Physiology books — put at my head,yeh Dr. Kitts I died in bed .Po .: l t r ti diseases — put at my feet,Ted Prof. Biely they had nee beat.Agecnocny — put across my chest,Tell Dr. Brink — I'd have passed. the test ,And beer stained pages put beneath one arm,'Tell my Prof's I meant no harm..Put Chem 300 the other side ,And. -tell the Dean "I'rn, glad 7 : died".

(ANON.).

MEMBER BETTER BARNS ASSN .

(Permissable as (w) rapping for L.C .B . water )

Published once in a blue moon by those higher men on

campus — theft AGGIES . Opinions are not necessary . Bornand raised on the second floor of the beef barn over a twongpouch of jungle juice . Do not telephone .

Business office: Poultry 2000 .

EDITOR, MIKE (The Sheriff). RAYNOR

Assistant Editor, Harold Steves . AUS President, A . Cornwal lReporters and Desk :—Pat Gibney, Jerry Pine, Sue March ,

Bernie Papkie, Ross (the Rock) Husdon, Tom Nisbett .

science . to AgricultureFood has always been the primary necessity of life. In the

present rapid evolution of an industrial world society, adequat e

attention to the problems concerned with food production and

distribution is essential to the achievement of social stability .

We must accelerate the pace of scientific development in agri-

culture if we are to meet this challenge.

' Industrialization is a vita l

and ever growing part of th e

pattern of agriculture .

Agriculture must be ad-apted 'to play its role as apart of a very dynamic, high-

ly technical, rapidly changin geconomy .

,supply, farm production and food processing than we have ye tbeen able to evolve . More attention must be paid to tie inte-gration and management of. our resources . We must placegreater emphasis on the education of highly skilled farmers ,farm technicians and agricultural scientists .

The increasing complexity of modern agriculture requiresthat increasing attention be given to problems of human rela-tions within the agricultural industry .

Modern agriculture requires highly trained personnel t o'put into practice the new industrial dimensions provided byresearch . We should never permit ourselves to be diverted.from emphasizing the research challenge .

-The pace of progress in agriculture, is in the last resort, set

by the quality of the people who work in it and for it .

. BLYTHE A. EAGLES ,

Dean of Agriculture

Western democracies have pondered for the last four dec-ades whether or not the Soviet Union posed as great a threat totheir existence as it would often have them believe .

PRAIS EThe VANCOUVER SU N"B.C.'s Home Newspaper "

Dear Aggies :Glad to hear there are stil l

people devoted to intellectua lresearch who are pursuing th eelusive twong pouch legend .As far as I remember, its birt hcame as one of those little fill-ers used - to plug tiny holes i nthe Ubyssey, in the "goon "edition of 1954 .

This paper was a satire onthe (then) 'three Vancouve rdailies and the fillers were als osupposed to be take-offs on' th etype of "Statistics show 45,67 8torts of bauxite was mined inBritish Guiana in 1876" typeof thing you find in a paper .

The twong pouch item read,in its entirety : "Twong pouchesused by Elsodome natives, ar efashioned from rhinocerou sscrotums by the village elders . "

This, for some reason, wasgreeted with cries- of deligh tand hysteria by a goodly por-tion of the populace and soo nwe were running features suc has "How to Build Your Ow nTwong Pouch," advertisement sfor Twong Pouch Weavin gClasses . etc. Authors SandyRoss and Rod Smith arrive dat that year's Mardi Grasdressed as twong pouches, andlooked about as obscene as i tsounds .

Rod is still in the medica lfaculty at UBC and could per-haps enlighten you further .

Sandy is presently scrougin gin garbage cans in Paris andno doubt spreading the twon gpouch gospel further afield .

Hope this provided some in -sight into this important field .

Yours for research ,ALLAN FOTHERINGHAM ,

PROGRESSEditor ,The Moobyssey ,Dear Sir :

Is it me or has the campusundergone a subtle change . Afew short years ago pubsterschased pretty girls around thecampus quaffing beer as theyran, or took delight in swim-ming the lily pond . Now allis quiet in the North Brockbasement . Even Jim McFar-lan no longer dwells there . Theghosts of Sandy Ross and other

'PAGE TWO

THE MOOBYSSE Y

The pattern or progresscalls for a combination of theapplications of science to th epractical problems of produc-

tion in order to_ give assuranceof performance and to gain a

greater voice at the marketplace .

There must be an eve ngreater integration of farm

EXODUSPeriodically we hear a great hue and cry from the Pres s

that Canada is losing it's best men and women to the U .S.A.We would like to know why they shouldn 't leaye this countryif they see fit .

Anyone who delves into the subject will soon discove r-much to his patriotic indignation that Canada just isn't abl eto support its intelligensia .

Just how many backwoods bushwhackers are intereste din "a bunch of educated fools " ? We'll wager not many .

No one in his right mind can condemn an intelligent per -son, who has probably beat his head against Canadian indif-ference to education far too long to have much remainin gappetite for it, for heading south of the border where he willat least be appreciated .

On a strictly dollars and cents level, there are not to omany critics who would still be here if they could hire ou tfor more somewhere else . Patriotism wears mighty thinwhen money is involved, and why shouldn't a person get mor efor his talents. elsewhere if he can? People who would gaginitiative by stuffing a flag down someone ' s throat are doingsociety a disservice .

Let's face it. Canadians are going to seek greener pas-tures elsewhere .as long as their, countrymen only providethem with existences .

Perhaps a continued exodus of university graduates willeventually wake up this country into realizing that highe reducation must be provided for, and liberally .

M O O B Y S S E Y

PastelsBrown horse waits for deat heyes closed and head dow nhead down and weight of bonesshifting after a timefrom hoof to tired hoot'.Eye lids down and rump t oBiting snow .

- The last old horse on the Iastpiece of earth .

Give it up and turn your fac einto the weather-and die .You stand on valuable land .We are the pastels of progresswe have come to watch you diewe are the pink houses an dthe blue houses .and theyellow houses 'and the beam-and-raftersand the hard-tops and th esplit-levels and the '

RISE AND FAL L

Only fairly recently has it be-come apparent that the Com-munists have shifted the empha-sis from the military to the so-cial and economic attack .

The longer we associate Com-munist strength with militarymight the longer we will over-Iook their actual advantage ove rus, that of an over-riding senseof. responsibility to the state .

This sense of responsibilityhas enabled the Russians an dnow the Chinese to lift them-selves_ - up by their own boot-straps . Education and researchreceive attention that is astound-ing by North American stand-ards .

From an economic standpoin tthe Soviets have it made . Whil ewe strike and squabble ove rwages, scream for efficienc ysapping subsidies and invite in-flation, the Communists adhereto planned economies whichhave and which will likely con-tinue to enable them to captur eour markets .

In our democracies we ar efree to pursue our pleasure an da higher standard of livin gwhile we sink deeper an ddeeper into a cesspool of mate-rial greed . The Iron and Bam-boo curtain countries on theother hand are girding themsel-ves for the eventual conflict, b eit military, economic or social .

Observers in China have note da frightening degree of indivi-dual obedience in the interest o fnational policy . It is inconveiv-able that the Chinese with thei renviable persistence will no tsomeday become a major if no tthe primary . world power i fgiven able leadership and West -ern indifference to their accom-plishments .

Since a democracy places th eresponsibility for financial wel lbeing, government -participa-tion, and acceptance of differin gsocial or religious groups large-ly up to tile - individual, there islittle or no concrete policy i nthese areas of conduct .

It is a tribute to , the master -minds who patterned the Corn-unist means of attack in a man-ner so subtle that the Wes tcould sabotage itself withou tbeing aware of its dange r

At "present we show no inter-est in being taken advantage o fin this Way. We are too busygetting more money, leisure andflaccid . The parallel betweenus and the Roman civilization isshocking .

We may see tor ourselvesStalin's belief cpme true— tha tthe West would fall from innercorrosima.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 12 . -1960

There are more than twenty -

seven fields of study open to th eStudent of Agriculture .

past Editors have shrivelledand died. Now even a dog isnews .

On the other side of thecampus there is another death-ly stillness .

No longer do we hear thescreams from the EngineeringBuilding. In the CommonRoom of the Forestry Under-grad Society, CHESS has takenthe glace of Stoke . In the AggieBuilding where the halls for-merly echoed with "I'll seeyour 10 and raise you twobits" : they now listen as someburley cowboy whispers, "I bi dthree no trump" .

No longer does the turf seethwith wrestling, shouting, grin-ning foemen in the blue, gree nand red sweaters .

Even in the cafes we seefraternization among the for-mer foes . The Pub office doesnot know what a Redshir tlooks like. Soon the formerMEN of the campus will be-come as the Artsmen .

I do not know whether thi sis a blessing or a curse . Truewe are fast on the way to be-coming one of the "Halls ofIvy", but are we losing ourEspirit de Cour ." Would itnot be better to see a full gen -eral meeting than gentlemenwith filter tipped cigarettes. Ican only end with a quote : —"My god we're civilized . "

— A REBEL

COMPLAINTSDear Sir :

I've 'been hearing about thishorrid affair that you Collegepeople call the Farmers' Frolicfrom my little girl who is i nH. Ec. If it is anything like itis reported to be, I think theFaculty of Agriculture shouldbe moved to Dawson Creek ,where people are supposed togo in for that sort of thing.

Such a move would protectinnocent little girls like myJoanie from these drunkenfarm people . I will have youknow that my little darlingmade her debut at Lord Nel-son's Ball, last year and I won'thave her social standing ruin-ed by such an obscene spect-acle .

Yours intiidrrantly ,Miss I . D. Loveto .Dawson Crik .

Dean Blythe Eagle sB.A., M.A ., Ph.D ., FC .I .R .

F.R.S .Dean of the Aggie Faculty

pink and powder blue .

We have come creeping an dcrowding, crawlin garound your last fieldto see you die .

Tail to wind-whipped sno wyou dream your dreamsin the 'horning with the su nit will be warm and green again .But we surround your fieldto see you die .You are standing on expensivebuilding lots old horse an dany way you can't turnyour tail to us .So be a good fellow anddon't stand around too long .(This poem is by an Arts frien d

not an Aggie )

fetters .to flu Editor

' TUESDAY, JANUARY 12 . 1960

M O O B Y S S E Y

PAGE THREE

IWasAn AggieAgent On Counci l

I wasn't interested . I knew she(God! What a woman!) was work-ing for the councillors . She hadbeen properly brainwashed—a tone time she would have mad ea good Aggie, or maybe severa lgoodd Aggies—but now she wa sa real party girl (what a doll )so I wasn't interested .

By ROCK HUDSO N

I have always been a good Aggie. That 's why it gets me . I can't speak to my frienes(because they won't talk to me.) Even my family thinks I'm a dirty Council Member . Butreally, I 'm a good Aggie .

-

yEach Monday, when I go to our little U.S.C . cell meeting, I shudder when I think ff

what would happen to the campus if these diabolical, fanatic, greedy, cheating, etc ., etc., etc . ,people took over.

! "Alt

_re_ ern_

_ea _a

, Marge, I see you have

"Shurtainly, doll, thish eidLike last week, when comrade Comrade Rock with you . Is he 'Rock c o'manage aw right . "Marge Magothellofattofski came ready to undertake the opera-

I decided to find out what co-up to me and breathed `'Hello, , tion y,, .,

• eration Z was—butt I had to beComrade Rocky ." (God! What

"plany,,

I repeated in my careful, she must not suspect Ia woman. If we only had wo -men like that!)-I returned her dull monotone, not letting on i am really the hero .

burning gaze with my silent cold that I didn't know what plan y"ti'4'hash oprashun Z, Doll?" I

eyes . In a flat monotone I an- was

asked in my dull, flat monoton e

swered, "Good morning, Coin

"Yes . Plan Y—the extermina- (stnilling with my pepsodent

raded ." (God! What a woman!) tion of Bill Rodent-chuck . He's teeth hpt not with my cold fish ydangerous to our cause ."

'eyes . )BRAINWASHED

"O .K ., but how do I fit in?"

"Oh, Rocky . honey, you're soShe stunk up ' to ine and put Your job is to get him into silly . Operation Z is getting th e

her arms around my neck—but the north basement and then : councillors into the Farmer'sthe Provda writers will see to Frolic . "it that he is run through the

"Tiiash O.K., just wanned se eProvda presses and if that if you knew. Thash all . "doesn't impress him with the

Armed with this vital info ,truth, nothing will ." !which I had carefully extracted

"O.K.," I said and with Marge from Marge . I slid her off my lapin hot, hot, pursuit, I set out land started out at a fast craw lto lure Rodent-chuck to the base-' for the Brock. It would Navement. I knew his usual haunts . I taken hours if Marge (God! What

She breathed into my ear I checked the nurses' residence, a woman!) hadn't insisted on car-(that's why my hair is singed on the girls' dorms, the Belmont, I rying me .one side) "Rock, honey, can

the Dufferin, and I finally found

My crafty brain was formuiat -call you Comrade,"

' him on the steps of the Mary

a plan—at all costs, I had t oStill in my flat monotone .

Boilert Hall .

He was sitting stop this invasion of our sacredsnapped (but she got away) .

there holding a shepherd's crook, orgy. My plan had to work ."Sure, Marge ." (I decided to and serenading the girls with a

Marge dragged me into theplay -along with her—the doll) . harmonica blending the Engi- back room again . She held me

While she was chewing on my ;veers song and Mary Had a Lit- on her lap while I made my re-ear, she asked me to come with tie Lamb .

port . She was sure helpful con-

esidering she was so drunk .

I "Rock. honey , what about op-eration Z? "

"Oh, that ." I said in my usualmonotone, and turning my un-smiling eyes on the assembleyof councillors added, "be myaway in the north basement of guests . "

the Brock .

Marge turned out to be a Hom eI managed to catch up with Ec . girl in disguise and althoughhim just as he entered the Pra - I am still not interested, we arevada office and I turned him

I

getting married . We have to,over to the press head, Comrade for the sake of the seventee n

WPlan Y was complete. Marge little monsters we are going to

congratulated me for several 'have .

hours, but I wasn't interested s oI got up and went back to the fmeeting .

The councillors were chuck- ;ling as I broke into their regu-lar Monday night joke session .I made my report and Marge l

REDBEARD, one of the master spies employed by theAggies, shown in his usual habitat . Jerry is famous fo rhis quick change ability . He can change from Artsman toEngineer at a moment ' s notice. Not shown is Jerry' sbeautiful partner, Gail, who has milked more out .of UB Cthan any other of her type.

Two Years In EUSAgent Tells Al l

By BERNIE PAPKE(From the Secret Files of the A .U.S . )

Now it, can be told. For two long years I have lived in

have a tough assignment for

planted anotl?er burning kiss on

3. Top capacity for engineers !my lips . (I took her cigaretteis 3 .5 pmts of beer. Any more ! away after that . )is water tinted with caramel .

I HEADQUARTERS -4. Engineers without a corn- We got to the big meeting

plete set of blueprints, a about 7 o'clock . It was a grubbyslipstick, and without a pre- looking joint on the East side ,formed kit, cannot build any- called Brock Hall . (They werething (e .g . chariots for the last f fronting as a college shop an d

My clothes consisted of jeans, four years). greasy spoon diner.) Marge led

tee shirts, and that (ugh!) red! 5. The only engineer with at me to a back room but it mus t

sweater . My posture was to be - least half a brain was Sultanne, it been the wrong one becaus e

slumped, my gait shambling. who when realizing what type it was full of people . I couldn' t

and I was forced to consult that of crowd he was in, called them ;recognize anybody. because theywere all wearing black robes (i tgod of those aboriginees, the all SHEEP .

looked like a chapter of the Kl uslide rule, before every move . ! At last, now I'm free, I can Klux Klan that didn't use Tide . wanted to congratulate me again . IIGNORANT RALLIES

walk upright in that proud blue The big guy at the end of the but there were too many peopl eThese ignorant' savages are sweater, drink 63 beers before table, Comrade Meekison, I think around and, anyway, I wasn't ,

forced to attend gigantic rallies breakfast and father great quan- they called him, looked at Marge, interested .every so often for the purpose I tities of children . Now -- then at me, then back at Marge

I was then assigned to carr y(God! What a woman!)

out plan Z. I decided to fin dout more about operation Z so '

I I steered Marge out of the meet-I ing and into a little "speakeasy "located under the, auditorium .(One flight down and ask forNorm.) This joint was in th eGreek Quarter and was a Conn . ',cil stronghold . It's so strong, infact, that most of the comrades !go by two or three `letters in- !stead f names .

RYE ON ROCKSI ordered a couple of drinks

at the bar and brought themback to the table. "Well, here' smud in your cup," said-Marge . 'downing her drink in one gulp .I got her another drink, I fig-ured a few more and she woul d

!reveal everything (even opera- 1tion Z). I was playing it cool—while Marge was kissing I'll

I old disinterested me, I was trad-ing my cups for her empties . Shehad 67 to my four and was be-coming talkative . "Rock, honey ,do you really think you can han-dle operation Z?"

- -

her to the big wheel counci ldisgusting part of the campus inhabited by ungodly apes in red

RATCATCHINGmeeting that night ."R'Iummmm, you're so nice,

"Hi there, Bill," I said, flash -

Comrade," she murmured . ing my pepsodent teeth. "Come

had her eating out of my hand .) quick, come quick, there's five

Then she (God! What a woman!) cases of beer, a bottle of etho-nol and three nurses stashed

sweaters .The chief knew of my strong stomach and that 's why I was

given the job.

`CENSORED and she lives in

"Bernie," he told me, "we I CENSORED .

you. For the next two year syou must live with the engi-neers . "

For two long years I was onlypermitted to go out with (ugh! )nurses . I had to simulate pass-ing out along with the rest ofthe redshirts after four beers .

of hearing the Godiva hierarchy I'M AN AGGIE .present their twisted version of ----the campus news .

The official newspaper of thi sheinious crew further distorted !the facts .

After two years my assign- Iment was complete . I foundout the terrible secrets of theRed Bunch . In my report the : -are as follows :

1. The great demand for en-gineers comes from a shortag eof supply, in the mysterious East .Great quantities of them areemployed as harem guards. Asthe personnel officer for th egreat potentate, the Myoptic sMaharaja said : "We don't eve nneed to operate on them. Theydon't know anything about th e

'subject anyway . "2. Godiva, the goddess of th e

-Engineers, was so disgusted'with them that she escaped-on enight and became a member o fthe Aggie women. She is at

.present ..marr-ied to an Aggie andhag -13 . children. Her name is

SCRATCH PAD

FO R

NARROW 'MINDE D

ARTSMEN

PACE FOUR M O 0 U B Y S S E Y

TUESDAY, JANUARY 12, 1906

A freshman came to the campus ,To get a higher learning,He dreamed of campus cuties ,For beer his heart was yearning.

The photos show the reclamation work being carried ou tby the A.U.S. Bill Skerrett, a refugee from .war-tornOntario was found in pain and suffering under the librar ystairs. After calming his fears they took him in and gav ehim a home. The photo on the left shows Bill as he wasfound. The photo on the right shows Bill well on the roadto moral recovery .The method used to remove the brainwashing that he re-

"Yes, Mom, I had a wonderful time at the frolic last rite "

First he was an artsman ,But Arts he found was dead.Then engineering was his goal,But he loathed that body red .

Then Forestry, the woodenheads ,His heart was full of splinters ,Then commerce with its Ivy League ,Then Law, its heart of winters .

But in all of these dead facultiesHis heart was sorely troubled ,Heads they need, not brains he found.And his problems he redoubled .

Booze And Broads At UBC

Rubber Cheq eounces ;ac

wanPouchound

Professor Beely . UBC'snowned poultry scientist, recent -ly found an ancient twong pouchwhile he was sorting feed bags

ceived in the East is that of making him feel at home .

in the Poultry Buildings.This was accomplished by teaching him how to play bridge

"I thought it was a small duf-fe

l introducing him to girls. The last proved most difficultas in Ontario the frigid weather has caused all to dress i

bag until I saw it in the

alike in mukluks and parkas . Bill has now reached the } light ." he said ,stage where he can drink 10 glasses of nourishment befor epassing out, but he still has a tendency to trump hi spartner 's ace .

r

For women loathed these weaklingsAnd he drank his beer-alone ,For none of them would drink the stuff'Cept redshirts with a moan .

Then his eye is' gladdenedAnd his cup he quickly drains ,For Blue sweatered and Stetsoned AggiesHave beer and dolls and brains .

For here he found his kindred 'Sharp and tough and wiseWith their beautiful companion sOf the soft and limpid eyes .

And beer then was no problemFor if it was not strongThey left the pub in angerThey'd brought their own along .

Dr. Beely stated that it wa sthe first twong pouch he hadseen for seven years and that hebelieved it had originally

,been

used for collecting eggs.

"I have already been offere dmore than a month's salary forit," he chuckled .

Negotiations are in progressto have the twong pouch display-ed at the Farmers' Frolic, an.Aggie council member stated,

re-

I was a Teamster for the AggiesPart Four of aSeven Park Seria l

(Synopsis)

Our hero has got a job at the UBC Dairy barn as a manure

spreader operator and has successfully infiltrated the Team-

sters, Although in the foreman's disfavour the first day, he i s

now well liked.Part IV

"Say kid, like to come- to aparty?"- the boss said .

I said, "Okay by me .He said, "meet me at the barn

at eight tonight . "• I arrived at the barn on time

and found him shuffling about,repeating, "I just can't wait . "

Shortly, a huge tractor trailerdiesel marked Royal CanadianShrews pulled into the yard .Tiny rushed over to the trailer ,yanked a lever that opened adoor, let down a ladder, an dtumbled a semi-naked babe intohis arms . .

She screeched, "I just lean onthis door and the damn thingvies open, Thieee, your open, "

(To be continued)

The new Coat of Arms forUBC shows a .Twong Pouch Rant-pant -on . a field pf blue . It wasproposed by" Cal -Drier.,

All of a sudden the rubbe rplantation workers went onstrike, and it looked as thoughour friend was in for a longstretch of bad luck. The work-ers were incensed over the fac tthat Rubber Cheque's perfectlygood rubber cheques began t obounce at the bank as a resultof the rubber recession .

It never rains but it pours i nBrazil and one day Rubber wasflooded out by a tropical deluge .A month later, there was a bigdrought and to top it all off thePubs closed and as Rubber said"it was really dry . "

The war ran out and so didthe money, but then a wonder-ful thing happened ; termites un-dermined Rubber's house and itfell down.

Just as Rubber's legs were a ttheir rubberiest he happened tonotice that the termites wereinvading his beloved rubberplantation . _Upon- close . obser-vati.cm he 'happened. to notice

five times as much rubber .Things were looking up and

so did Rubber only to find tha this trees had contracted Twongpouch gall, a strange fungi thatforms a mycelium in the shapeof a pouch. Far from gettin gworried he simply had the treesinfected with Twong pouch gallimmediately below the' termiteholes with the result that thelatex ran into the pouch .

Not only did Rubber produc ea completely new product, rub-berized Twong pouches, but h ewas able to lay off half of th erubber gathering crew that hadnever really forgiven . him forthe bouncing cheques .

Rubber became wealthy ver yrapidly and is now an honoredmember of the Rubber Club, apliable Brazilian society .

Moral: Don't be afraid t ostretch your imagination

— J. PIR.I E

CLASSIFIED

WANTED Room at NewWestminster, small, comfort -able, Phone Al-ma 4600 . Loca l600, ask for AIL

WANTED — Lessons in beerdrinking. We supply beer . Ap-ply EUS office.—

FOUND—One purple twongpouch with '51 Austin inside .Owner can claim by identifying .

LOST—Small article at Aggiebanquet . Finder please con-tact . B . Willoughby, Esq . beforeFriday. '

MURDERBut something terrible hapiten..

ed .

Admittedly the Twong Pouchwas surrounded by a leery aura .Some people even said that thewitch doctors of Southern Rho-desia had hexed them .

They became increasingly un-popular after the Vice-Presiden tof the A.M.S . was found stran-gled one night in the stringsof his Twong Pouch, held fastby a mysterious knot that coul dnot be undone .

The case was never solved .Then somebody discovered

brief cases, newfangled contrap-tions that snapped closed on un-suspecting wrists at the drop ofa Frat pin .

Somehow people also thoughtbrief cases looked more digni-fied .

LAST STANDFearing student hysteria and

the loss of revenue from theTwong Pouch sales monopolyheld by the College Shop, theA.M.S. president sent an emis-sary to Southern Rhodesia toconfer with the distributors,.

He was , if possible, to havean audience with the tribalchiefs who manufactured thePouches and retained the secretwaterproofing formula whichhelped make the Twong Pouchfamous .

The emissary apparently suc-ceeded but, alas, brief cases hadbecome the rage during his ab-sence and remain so to this day .

WHITHER TWONG ?Shall we ever see the intrepid

Twong Pouch once more on cam- ,pus ?

This writer thinks so . for whobut the most fainthearted canresist the allure of the TwongPouch legend' Their call of thewilds of the Dark Continent ?Their pungent aroma that noteven the chemical engineerscould duplicate, and most im-portant their low price, only £ 13s at any Central African postof the British East India Com-pany.

A gold poke is not necessarilya twong pouch, but ., ,a twon gpouch is ;a, goat poked.

Rubber Cheque, the only rubber tycoon from' Brazil to

graduate from Agriculture at UBC, was recently featured in

the Manoes Rubber Planter for his exceptional success a t

growing rubber .

i that when termites drilled holesWhen Rubber attended Aggie in his trees the trees yielde d

everybody knew him as the in -ventor of the prophylactic guar-anteed to be unsafe every time .It was Rubber 's answer to Bra-zil's unpopulated jungles .

Rubber returned to Brazil andset about planning the largestrubber plantation in the world .As luck would have it WorldWar II broke out and the pric eof rubber stretched like a wornout girdle. Rubber was on topof the world until the price sag-ged during the great rubber re-cession, Synthetic rubber wa smaking its inroads .

WHITHER TWONG(Continued from Page 1 )

the Football Teams . Maybe that'swhy the Birds don't win anymore,