Voices

1

Lasting, forever intimacy, is what I am in search,New developments, new discoveries; Will it ever work?My heart values pure, clean love,No one, no where, seems to be above.Betrayal, mistrust, violation; Is all I see;It’s all I can do, to be set free.Disrespected, suffocated, completely undermined;Trusting in authority has caused me to be left behind.Hiding in the darkness, just giving it all away;Not understanding there is brilliance and glory just at bay.Do they find me attractive? Will they look my way?Searching confused, distorted, each and every day.Who will love me lavishly, completely and whole?Not perversely, not co-dependently, not acting a total fool?Finding safety and ministering to my each and every need,Clean, healthy relations. Lord, I beg! Lord, I plead!

Learning to trust again, running to the light;Feeling safe and free again, this is my plight.Giving it all away, not realizing my life is priceless,Doing all I can each day, to keep my-self from crisis.I’ve wised up now. No longer trying to play it cool.Giving it all away, almost left me lone-ly, hard and cruel.Realizing life is dark sided as can be,I’ve been given the gift of a brighter life; Liberated, exhilarated, completely set free.

Lasting, forever intimacy, is what I am in search,New developments, new discoveries; Will it ever work?My heart values pure, clean love,No one, no where, seems to be above.Betrayal, mistrust, violation; Is all I see;It’s all I can do, to be set free.Disrespected, suffocated, completely under-mined;Trusting in authority has caused me to be left behind.

Hiding in the darkness, just giving it all away;Not understanding there is brilliance and glo-ry just at bay.Do they find me attractive? Will they look my way?Searching confused, distorted, each and every day.Who will love me lavishly, completely and whole?Not perversely, not co-dependently, not acting a total fool?Finding safety and ministering to my each and every need,Clean, healthy relations. Lord, I beg! Lord, I plead!

Learning to trust again, running to the light;Feeling safe and free again, this is my plight.Giving it all away, not realizing my life is priceless,Doing all I can each day, to keep myself from crisis.I’ve wised up now. No longer trying to play it cool.Giving it all away, almost left me lonely, hard and cruel.Realizing life is dark sided as can be,I’ve been given the gift of a brighter life; Liberated, exhilarated, completely set free.

L a s t -i n g , f o r -

e v e r i n t i m a c y , i s w h a t I a m i n s e a r c h ,N e w d e v e l o p m e n t s , n e w

d i s c o v e r i e s ; W i l l i t e v e r w o r k ?

M y h e a r t v a l u e s p u r e , c l e a n l o v e ,

N o o n e , n o w h e r e , s e e m s t o b e a b o v e .

B e t r a y a l , m i s t r u s t , v i o l a t i o n ; I s a l l I s e e ;

I t ’ s a l l I c a n d o , t o b e s e t f r e e .D i s r e s p e c t e d , s u f f o c a t e d , c o m p l e t e l y u n -

d e r m i n e d ;T r u s t i n g i n a u t h o r i t y h a s c a u s e d m e t o b e

l e f t b e h i n d .H i d i n g i n t h e d a r k n e s s , j u s t g i v i n g i t a l l

a w a y ;N o t u n d e r s t a n d i n g t h e r e i s b r i l l i a n c e a n d

g l o r y j u s t a t b a y .D o t h e y f i n d m e a t t r a c t i v e ? W i l l t h e y l o o k

m y w a y ?S e a r c h i n g c o n f u s e d , d i s t o r t e d , e a c h a n d e v -

e r y d a y .W h o w i l l l o v e m e l a v i s h l y , c o m p l e t e l y a n d

w h o l e ?N o t p e r v e r s e l y , n o t c o - d e p e n d e n t l y , n o t

a c t i n g a t o t a l f o o l ?F i n d i n g s a f e t y a n d m i n i s t e r i n g t o m y

e a c h a n d e v e r y n e e d ,C l e a n , h e a l t h y r e l a t i o n s . L o r d , I

b e g ! L o r d , I p l e a d !L e a r n i n g t o t r u s t a g a i n , r u n -

n i n g t o t h e l i g h t ;F e e l i n g s a f e a n d f r e e a g a i n ,

t h i s i s m y p l i g h t .G i v i n g i t a l l a w a y , n o t r e a l -

i z i n g m y l i f e i s p r i c e l e s s ,D o i n g a l l I c a n e a c h d a y ,

t o k e e p m y s e l f f r o m c r i s i s .I ’ v e w i s e d u p n o w . N o

l o n g e r t r y i n g t o p l a y i t c o o l .

G i v i n g i t a l l a w a y , a l m o s t l e f t m e

l o n e l y , h a r d a n d c r u e l .

R e a l i z i n g l i f e i s

d a r k

Lori Falabella .voices

L a s t -i n g , f o r e v -

e r i n t i m a c y , i s w h a t I a m i n s e a r c h ,N e w d e v e l o p m e n t s , n e w










m y w a y ?S e a r c h i n g c o n f u s e d , d i s t o r t e d , e a c h a n d

e v e r y d a y .W h o w i l l l o v e m e l a v i s h l y , c o m p l e t e l y a n d













d a r k s i d -e d a s c a n b e ,

I ’ v e b e e n g i v e n t h e

g i f t o f a


e r i n t i m a c y , i s w h a t I a m i n s e a r c h ,

N e w d e v e l o p m e n t s , n e w d i s c o v e r i e s ; W i l l i t e v e r w o r k ?

M y h e a r t v a l u e s p u r e , c l e a n l o v e ,N o o n e , n o w h e r e , s e e m s t o b e a b o v e .

B e t r a y a l , m i s t r u s t , v i o l a t i o n ; I s a l l I s e e ;I t ’ s a l l I c a n d o , t o b e s e t f r e e .

D i s r e s p e c t e d , s u f f o c a t e d , c o m p l e t e l y u n d e r m i n e d ;T r u s t i n g i n a u t h o r i t y h a s c a u s e d m e t o b e l e f t b e h i n d .

H i d i n g i n t h e d a r k n e s s , j u s t g i v i n g i t a l l a w a y ;N o t u n d e r s t a n d i n g t h e r e i s b r i l l i a n c e a n d g l o r y j u s t a t b a y .

D o t h e y f i n d m e a t t r a c t i v e ? W i l l t h e y l o o k m y w a y ?S e a r c h i n g c o n f u s e d , d i s t o r t e d , e a c h a n d e v e r y d a y .

W h o w i l l l o v e m e l a v i s h l y , c o m p l e t e l y a n d w h o l e ?N o t p e r v e r s e l y , n o t c o - d e p e n d e n t l y , n o t a c t i n g a t o t a l f o o l ?

F i n d i n g s a f e t y a n d m i n i s t e r i n g t o m y e a c h a n d e v e r y n e e d ,C l e a n , h e a l t h y r e l a t i o n s . L o r d , I b e g ! L o r d , I p l e a d !

L e a r n i n g t o t r u s t a g a i n , r u n n i n g t o t h e l i g h t ;F e e l i n g s a f e a n d f r e e a g a i n , t h i s i s m y p l i g h t .

G i v i n g i t a l l a w a y , n o t r e a l i z i n g m y l i f e i s p r i c e l e s s ,D o i n g a l l I c a n e a c h d a y , t o k e e p m y s e l f f r o m c r i s i s .

I ’ v e w i s e d u p n o w . N o l o n g e r t r y i n g t o p l a y i t c o o l .G i v i n g i t a l l a w a y , a l m o s t l e f t m e l o n e l y , h a r d a n d c r u e l .

R e a l i z i n g l i f e i s d a r k s i d e d a s c a n b e ,I ’ v e b e e n g i v e n t h e g i f t o f a b r i g h t e r l i f e ; L i b e r a t e d , e x h i l a r a t e d , c o m p l e t e l y s e t f r e e .

L a s t -

i n g , f o r e v e r

i n t i m a c y , i s w h a t I a m i n

s e a r c h ,





I t ’ s a l l I c a n d o , t o b e s e t f r e e .

D i s r e s p e c t e d , s u f f o c a t e d , c o m p l e t e l y u n d e r m i n e d ;

T r u s t i n g i n a u t h o r i t y h a s c a u s e d m e t o b e l e f t b e h i n d .

H i d i n g i n t h e d a r k n e s s , j u s t g i v i n g i t a l l a w a y ;

N o t u n d e r s t a n d i n g t h e r e i s b r i l l i a n c e a n d g l o r y j u s t a t b a y .

D o t h e y f i n d m e a t t r a c t i v e ? W i l l t h e y l o o k m y w a y ?

S e a r c h i n g c o n f u s e d , d i s t o r t e d , e a c h a n d e v e r y d a y .

W h o w i l l l o v e m e l a v i s h l y , c o m p l e t e l y a n d w h o l e ?

N o t p e r v e r s e l y , n o t c o - d e p e n d e n t l y , n o t a c t i n g a t o t a l f o o l ?

F i n d i n g s a f e t y a n d m i n i s t e r i n g t o m y e a c h a n d e v e r y n e e d ,

C l e a n , h e a l t h y r e l a t i o n s . L o r d , I b e g ! L o r d , I p l e a d !

L e a r n i n g t o t r u s t a g a i n , r u n n i n g t o t h e l i g h t ;

F e e l i n g s a f e a n d f r e e a g a i n , t h i s i s m y p l i g h t .

G i v i n g i t a l l a w a y , n o t r e a l i z i n g m y l i f e i s p r i c e l e s s ,

D o i n g a l l I c a n e a c h d a y , t o k e e p m y s e l f f r o m c r i s i s .

I ’ v e w i s e d u p n o w . N o l o n g e r t r y i n g t o p l a y i t c o o l .

G i v i n g i t a l l a w a y , a l m o s t l e f t m e l o n e l y , h a r d a n d c r u e l .

R e a l i z i n g l i f e i s d a r k s i d e d a s c a n b e ,I ’ v e b e e n g i v e n t h e g i f t o f a b r i g h t e r l i f e ;

L i b e r a t e d , e x h i l a r a t e d , c o m p l e t e l y s e t f r e e .

L a s t -



s e a r c h ,























3


e r i n t i m a c y , i s w h a t I a m i n s e a r c h ,N e w d e v e l o p m e n t s , n e w










m y w a y ?S e a r c h i n g c o n f u s e d , d i s t o r t e d , e a c h a n d

e v e r y d a y .W h o w i l l l o v e m e l a v i s h l y , c o m p l e t e l y a n d













d a r k s i d -e d a s c a n b e ,

I ’ v e b e e n g i v e n t h e

g i f t o f a


e r i n t i m a c y , i s w h a t I a m i n s e a r c h ,













L a s t -



s e a r c h ,























L i b e r a t e d , e x h i l a r a t e d , c o m p l e t e l y s e t f r e e .

L a s t -



s e a r c h ,























Lor

i Fa

labe

llaLor

i Fa

labe

lla

collection of words: 1995 - 2010

5

This book i s dedicated to myself!

07 Speechless09 Lasting10 Honest13 Juststupid15 Priceless17 LonelySoul19 Hungry21 Deception23 Bullied25 BlindFaith27 SkinDeep29 Exhausted31 MurderMe33 Destiny35 TrueFriend37 Laziness39 Voices

41 {LoriFalabella}

Voices

Speech lesss p e e c h l e s s

7

SpeechlessSpeechless,voiceless,quietlyscreaminginside.

Noonelistening,makespeoplecry.

Whispering,shouting,nooneevenlooks.

Tryingtomakeadifference,youhavetocreateahook.

Peoplelookingon,afraidtoinvolvecare?

Beingabletostandafar,withablank,andcold,hardstare.

Cantheyseethetruthoftherealsituation?

Doingnothingwithtruthandknowledge,ispurefrustration.

Listentotheinnervoiceonyourjourneyoflife,

Payingattentiontothetwingesinyourgut,notallowingstrife.

Capturinghearts,inspiringothers.

Challenging,rewarding,thesearemydruthers.

Standingup,reachingout.

Respectingwishes,erasingdoubt.

Findingstrength,eliminatingstress.

Runningawayfrombeingspeechless.

Lasting, forever intimacy, is what I am in search,New developments, new discover-ies; Will it ever work?My heart values pure, clean love,No one, no where, seems to be above.Betrayal, mistrust, violation; Is all I see;It’s all I can do, to be set free.Disrespected, suffocated, com-pletely undermined;Trusting in authority has caused me to be left behind.Hiding in the darkness, just giv-ing it all away;Not understanding there is bril-liance and glory just at bay.Do they find me attractive? Will they look my way?Searching confused, distorted, each and every day.Who will love me lavishly, com-pletely and whole?Not perversely, not co-dependent-ly, not acting a total fool?Finding safety and ministering to my each and every need,Clean, healthy relations. Lord, I beg! Lord, I plead!

Learning to trust again, running to the light;Feeling safe and free again, this is

9

LastingLasting,foreverintimacy,iswhatIaminsearch,

Newdevelopments,newdiscoveries;Williteverwork?

Myheartvaluespure,cleanlove,

Noone,nowhere,seemstobeabove.

Betrayal,mistrust,violation;IsallIsee;

It’sallIcando,tobesetfree.

Disrespected,suffocated,completelyundermined;

Trustinginauthorityhascausedmetobeleftbehind.

Hidinginthedarkness,justgivingitallaway;

Notunderstandingthereisbrillianceandgloryjustatbay.

Dotheyfindmeattractive?Willtheylookmyway?

Searchingconfused,distorted,eachandeveryday.

Whowilllovemelavishly,completelyandwhole?

Notperversely,notco-dependently,notactingatotalfool?

Findingsafetyandministeringtomyeachandeveryneed,

Clean,healthyrelations.Lord,Ibeg!Lord,Iplead!

Learningtotrustagain,runningtothelight;

Feelingsafeandfreeagain,thisismyplight.

Givingitallaway,notrealizingmylifeispriceless,

DoingallIcaneachday,tokeepmyselffromcrisis.

I’vewisedupnow.Nolongertryingtoplayitcool.

Givingitallaway,almostleftmelonely,hardandcruel.

Realizinglifeisdarksidedascanbe,

I’vebeengiventhegiftofabrighterlife;Liberated,

exhilarated,completelysetfree.

HonestGirlstoBoys,WomentoMen.

Compared,thenseparated,overandoveragain.

Doyoulead,ordoyoufollow?

Pity,shameandfury,willyouwallow?

Perceptions,deceptions,misguideyourlife.

Constantturmoil,sufferingandstrife.

TheyGuide,weseek,

Departureoflife’snever-endingcritique.

Playingthevictim,tryingtoclaimattention.

Accountabilityneeded,forthisintervention.

ListeningONLYtoauthority,isourancestorsways.

Thishasleadus,todarkanddrearydays.

Distortingthetruthinselfishfulfillment,

Confusion,insecurities,mentalillnesspresent.

Coveringup,makingup,forallthepoordecisions.

Notnecessarilyonarighteouspath,awaitingseriousrevisions.

Buryingoursecretsinaddictionsfindsuslonely.

Scramblingforhappiness.Peoplereachout,ifonly.

11

Livinginaccordance,isconsentingtotorment.

Realizingyouhavechoices,donotwastetimetolament.

Getstartedwiththehealing,getreadytodepart.

Protectingyourmind,yoursoul&especiallyyourheart..

Scandals,lies,andcontinuousdeceit.

Violationsthatonlyseemtorepeat.

Poisoningthemind,startingatbirth,

Mostofusneverknowingoursuccess,orourworth.

Overrunwithpain,torment,andresentment.

Pleasforforgiveness,truthandcontentment.

Trusting,respecting,havingfaithinlove.

WhenIfollowotherslead,Iammerelyaboxingglove.

Used,abusedandbrokendownfromwithin.

Evil,dark,sinfulexperiences,shockingfromourkin.

Walkaway,startingfreshandanew.

Leavingbehindbetrayal,deceit;beinghonestwithYOU!

Ignorant and stupid, is the w

ay of society.W

atching as life‘s wast-

ed, creates my anxiety.

Excuses, excuses, excuses! Enough of this crap already!Put your life together, peo-ple go get ready.

Just a little knowledge, m

akes som

e people dangerous.C

arelessly offering advice, not qualified to discuss.

People in positions that of-fer them

to lead.N

ot working their potential,

motivated only by greed.

Dependency, co-dependency,

it is sick, repulsive and vile.B

leeding you, draining you, grow

ing ever so hostile.

Will the stupidity ever end,

or will it last forever?

People pass on these traits; Oh, how

I wish it w

ould sever. W

orking and working for know

l-edge you so desperately deserve.

Ignorant and stupid, is the way of society.

Watching

as life‘s wasted, creates my anxiety.

Excuses, excuses, excuses! E

nough of this crap already!

Put

your life together, people go get ready.

Just a little knowledge, makes som

e people dangerous.

Carelessly offering

advice, not qualified to discuss.

People in positions that

offer them to lead.

Not

working their potential, motivated only by greed.

Dependency, co-dependency, it

is sick, repulsive and vile.

Bleeding

you, draining you, growing

ever so hostile.

Will the stupidity ever end, or will it

last forever?

People pass on these traits; O

h, how I wish it would sever.

Working

and working for knowledge you so desperately deserve.

When you least

expect it, you are thrown another curve.

Do people believe it

’s okay living so unaware?

Lacking

basic knowledge, seems they do not

care?

Claim

ing ignorance in life, is absolutely no excuse.

Intelligence and knowledge, will we ever produce?

Just stupid: Ignorant and stupid, is the way of society.

13

Just stupidIgnorantandstupid,isthewayofsociety.

Watchingaslife‘swasted,createsmyanxiety.

Excuses,excuses,excuses!Enoughofthiscrapalready!

Putyourlifetogether,peoplegogetready.

Justalittleknowledge,makessomepeopledangerous.

Carelesslyofferingadvice,notqualifiedtodiscuss.

Peopleinpositionsthatofferthemtolead.

Notworkingtheirpotential,motivatedonlybygreed.

Dependency,co-dependency,itissick,repulsiveandvile.

Bleedingyou,drainingyou,growingeversohostile.

Willthestupidityeverend,orwillitlastforever?

Peoplepassonthesetraits;Oh,howIwishitwouldsever.

Workingandworkingforknowledgeyousodesperatelydeserve.

Whenyouleastexpectit,youarethrownanothercurve.

Dopeoplebelieveit’sokaylivingsounaware?

Lackingbasicknowledge,seemstheydonotcare?

Claimingignoranceinlife,isabsolutelynoexcuse.

Intelligenceandknowledge,willweeverproduce?

Ignorant and stupid, is the w

ay of society.W

atching as life‘s wast-

ed, creates my anxiety.

Excuses, excuses, excuses! Enough of this crap already!Put your life together, peo-ple go get ready.

Just a little knowledge, m

akes som

e people dangerous.C

arelessly offering advice, not qualified to discuss.

People in positions that of-fer them

to lead.N

ot working their potential,

motivated only by greed.

Dependency, co-dependency,

it is sick, repulsive and vile.B

leeding you, draining you, grow

ing ever so hostile.

Will the stupidity ever end,

or will it last forever?

People pass on these traits; Oh, how

I wish it w

ould sever. W

orking and working for know

l-edge you so desperately deserve.

H u g e ,

g a p i n g

w o u n d . T o o d e e p t o s e e .

E m p t y h o l l o w s o u l , w a n t i n g t o f i l l i t w i t h

g l e e .

Q u i e t i n g t h e m i n d , c o n t r o l l i n g m y e v e r y t h o u g h t .

F i g h t i n g t h e v i o l e n c e , r e v e n g e I p l o t .

H o p e , n o r h a p p i n e s s , l i v e s i n s i d e t h i s b e i n g .

H a u n t e d b y t o r t u r e , l o o k i n g f o r a m e a n i n g .

D e e p , d a r k s e c r e t s h i d d e n w i t h i n m y s o u l .

B u r i e d i n t o r m e n t , f i g h t i n g n o t t o l e t t h e m r u l e .

B e h o n e s t , d o n ’ t b e f e a r f u l , g o s e e k t h e t r u t h .

C l e a n s i n g t h e m i n d o f t e r r o r , e v e r s i n c e m y y o u t h .

W e a t h e r i n g o u t t h e t r a u m a s i s l i k e f l o a t i n g i n t h e o c e a n .

P u s h i n g , s h o v i n g w a t e r s , n o t r e s i s t i n g t h e m o t i o n .

R u n n i n g f a s t a s I c a n . L i v i n g i n d e n i a l .

T u r n i n g t o a d d i c t i o n s , o n l y w a s h e s a w a y y o u r s m i l e .

W a l l o w i n g i n s e l f p i t y o r w h i n i n g i s j u s t l a m e .

Y o u a n d o n l y y o u , d e c i d e s w h o t a k e s t h e b l a m e .

F o r g i v e n e s s i s n o t f o r g e t t i n g , o r a s i g n o f b e i n g w e a k .

A c c e p t i n g t h e t r u t h a n d h e a l i n g , i s c e r t a i n l y n o t f o r t h e m e e k .

P r o v o k i n g c h a n g e w i t h i n o u r s e l v e s i s n o t a n e a s y b a t t l e .

F i l l i n g t h e h o l e i n y o u r s o u l , f r e e i n g s e c r e t s , l e a r n i n g i t s o k a y t o t a t t l e .

Huge, gaping wound.

Too deep to see. Empty

hollow soul, wanting to

fill it with glee. Quieting

the mind, controlling my

every thought. Fighting the

violence, revenge I plot.

Hope, nor happiness, lives

inside this being. Haunted

by torture, looking for a

meaning. Deep, dark secrets

hidden within my soul.

Buried in torment, fighting

not to let them rule. Be

honest, don’t be fearful, go

seek the truth. Cleansing the

mind of terror, ever since

my youth.

Weathering out the traumas

is like floating in the ocean.

Pushing, shoving waters,

not resisting the motion.

Running fast as I can.

Living in denial. Turning

to addictions, only washes

away your smile. Wallowing

in self pity or whining is

just lame. You and only

you, decides who takes the

blame. Forgiveness is not

forgetting, or a sign of being

weak.Accepting the truth

and healing, is certainly not

for the meek. Provoking

change within ourselves is

not an easy battle. Filling

the hole in your soul, free-

ing secrets, learning its okay

to tattle.

truthtruthtruth

15

Lonely SoulHuge,gapingwound.Toodeeptosee.

Emptyhollowsoul,wantingtofillitwithglee.

Quietingthemind,controllingmyeverythought.

Fightingtheviolence,revengeIplot.

Hope,norhappiness,livesinsidethisbeing.

Hauntedbytorture,lookingforameaning.

Deep,darksecretshiddenwithinmysoul.

Buriedintorment,fightingnottoletthemrule.

Behonest,don’tbefearful,goseekthetruth.

Cleansingthemindofterror,eversincemyyouth.

Weatheringoutthetraumasislikefloatingintheocean.

Pushing,shovingwaters,notresistingthemotion.

RunningfastasIcan.Livingindenial.

Turningtoaddictions,onlywashesawayyoursmile.

Wallowinginselfpityorwhiningisjustlame.

Youandonlyyou,decideswhotakestheblame.

Forgivenessisnotforgetting,orasignofbeingweak.

Acceptingthetruthandhealing,iscertainlynotforthemeek.

Provokingchangewithinourselvesisnotaneasybattle.

Fillingtheholeinyoursoul,freeingsecrets,learningitsokaytotattle.

H u g e ,

g a p i n g

w o u n d . T o o d e e p t o s e e .

E m p t y h o l l o w s o u l , w a n t i n g t o f i l l i t w i t h

g l e e .

Q u i e t i n g t h e m i n d , c o n t r o l l i n g m y e v e r y t h o u g h t .

F i g h t i n g t h e v i o l e n c e , r e v e n g e I p l o t .

H o p e , n o r h a p p i n e s s , l i v e s i n s i d e t h i s b e i n g .

H a u n t e d b y t o r t u r e , l o o k i n g f o r a m e a n i n g .

D e e p , d a r k s e c r e t s h i d d e n w i t h i n m y s o u l .

B u r i e d i n t o r m e n t , f i g h t i n g n o t t o l e t t h e m r u l e .

B e h o n e s t , d o n ’ t b e f e a r f u l , g o s e e k t h e t r u t h .

C l e a n s i n g t h e m i n d o f t e r r o r , e v e r s i n c e m y y o u t h .

W e a t h e r i n g o u t t h e t r a u m a s i s l i k e f l o a t i n g i n t h e o c e a n .

P u s h i n g , s h o v i n g w a t e r s , n o t r e s i s t i n g t h e m o t i o n .

R u n n i n g f a s t a s I c a n . L i v i n g i n d e n i a l .

T u r n i n g t o a d d i c t i o n s , o n l y w a s h e s a w a y y o u r s m i l e .

W a l l o w i n g i n s e l f p i t y o r w h i n i n g i s j u s t l a m e .

Y o u a n d o n l y y o u , d e c i d e s w h o t a k e s t h e b l a m e .

F o r g i v e n e s s i s n o t f o r g e t t i n g , o r a s i g n o f b e i n g w e a k .

A c c e p t i n g t h e t r u t h a n d h e a l i n g , i s c e r t a i n l y n o t f o r t h e m e e k .

P r o v o k i n g c h a n g e w i t h i n o u r s e l v e s i s n o t a n e a s y b a t t l e .

F i l l i n g t h e h o l e i n y o u r s o u l , f r e e i n g s e c r e t s , l e a r n i n g i t s o k a y t o t a t t l e .




M y h e a r t v a l u e s p u r e , c l e a n l o v e ,N o o n e , n o w h e r e , s e e m s t o b e

a b o v e . B e t r a y a l , m i s t r u s t , v i o l a t i o n ; I s a l l I s e e ;




a w a y ;N o t u n d e r s t a n d i n g t h e r e i s b r i l l i a n c e a n d g l o r y

j u s t a t b a y .D o t h e y f i n d m e a t t r a c t i v e ? W i l l t h e y l o o k m y

w a y ?S e a r c h i n g c o n f u s e d , d i s t o r t e d , e a c h a n d e v e r y

d a y . W h o w i l l l o v e m e l a v i s h l y , c o m p l e t e l y a n d w h o l e ?










L i b e r a t e d ,e x h i l a r a t e d , c o m p l e t e l y s e t f r e e


e v e r i n t i m a c y , i s w h a t I a m i n s e a r c h ,












R e a l i z i n g l i f e i s d a r k s i d e d a s c a n b e ,I ’ v e b e e n g i v e n t h e g i f t o f a b r i g h t e r l i f e ; L i b e r a t e d ,

e x h i l a r a t e d , c o m p l e t e l y s e t f r e e

PricelessPriceless

17

PricelessLasting,foreverintimacy,iswhatIaminsearch,

Newdevelopments,newdiscoveries;Williteverwork?

Myheartvaluespure,cleanlove,

Noone,nowhere,seemstobeabove.

Betrayal,mistrust,violation;IsallIsee;

It’sallIcando,tobesetfree.

Disrespected,suffocated,completelyundermined;

Trustinginauthorityhascausedmetobeleftbehind.

Hidinginthedarkness,justgivingitallaway;

Notunderstandingthereisbrillianceandgloryjustatbay.

Dotheyfindmeattractive?Willtheylookmyway?

Searchingconfused,distorted,eachandeveryday.

Whowilllovemelavishly,completelyandwhole?

Notperversely,notco-dependently,notactingatotalfool?

Findingsafetyandministeringtomyeachandeveryneed,

Clean,healthyrelations.Lord,Ibeg!Lord,Iplead!

Learningtotrustagain,runningtothelight;

Feelingsafeandfreeagain,thisismyplight.

Givingitallaway,notrealizingmylifeispriceless,

DoingallIcaneachday,tokeepmyselffromcrisis.

I’vewisedupnow.Nolongertryingtoplayitcool.

Givingitallaway,almostleftmelonely,hardandcruel.

Realizinglifeisdarksidedascanbe,

I’vebeengiventhegiftofabrighterlife;Liberated,

exhilarated,completelysetfree

I

a m

s o h u n g r y ; I

c a n n o t e a t .

R u n n i n g t o e s c a p e t h e

p a i n , f r o m m y h e a d , t o m y f e e t .

I a m s o h u n g r y ; A c h i n g f o r w h a t I n e e d .

F e e d m e , c o m f o r t m e , l o v e m e . D o n o t l e t m e

b l e e d .

I a m s o h u n g r y ; A c t i n g a t o t a l f o o l .

W e l c o m i n g s w e e t p l e a s u r e s . T h a t ‘ s t h e “ g o l d e n r u l e . ”

I a m s o h u n g r y ; F a i l i n g t o s e e t h e b o u n t y .

F e e l i n g s u p a n d d o w n . R e s e n t m e n t a n d a n g e r m o u n t i n g .

I a m s o h u n g r y ; N o t s h a r i n g f r o m i n s i d e .

E m p t y , h o l l o w b l a c k n e s s . F e e l s l i k e I h a v e d i e d .

I a m s o h u n g r y ; D o y o u h a v e e n o u g h t o s p a r e ?

H u n t i n g , l o o k i n g , s e a r c h i n g . W h o w i l l e v e r c a r e ?

I a m s o h u n g r y ; S o m e o n e f e e d m e p l e a s e !

G e n e r o u s l y g i v i n g . H e l p i n g m e w i t h e a s e .

I a m s o h u n g r y ; T h o u g h t y o u ’ d a l w a y s b e t h e r e .

L e a v i n g m e t h r o u g h s e p a r a t i o n , a b a n d o n m e n t , d e a t h , i s i t

e v e r f a i r ?

I a m s o h u n g r y ; I t h i n k I m i g h t s t a r v e .

B e a s t o f a y e a r n i n g . H u n g e r I c a r v e .

I a m

s o h u n -g r y ; I c a n n o t

e a t .R u n n i n g t o e s c a p e

t h e p a i n , f r o m m y h e a d , t o m y f e e t .

I a m s o h u n g r y ; A c h i n g f o r w h a t I n e e d .

F e e d m e , c o m f o r t m e , l o v e m e . D o n o t l e t m e b l e e d .

I a m s o h u n g r y ; A c t i n g a t o -t a l f o o l .

W e l c o m i n g s w e e t p l e a s u r e s . T h a t ‘ s t h e “ g o l d e n r u l e . ”

I a m s o h u n g r y ; F a i l i n g t o s e e t h e b o u n t y .

F e e l i n g s u p a n d d o w n . R e s e n t -m e n t a n d a n g e r m o u n t i n g .

I a m s o h u n g r y ; N o t s h a r i n g f r o m i n s i d e .

E m p t y , h o l l o w b l a c k n e s s . F e e l s l i k e I h a v e d i e d .

I a m s o h u n g r y ; D o y o u h a v e e n o u g h t o s p a r e ?

H u n t i n g , l o o k i n g , s e a r c h i n g .

W h o w i l l

HungryHungryHungry

19

Hungry?Iamsohungry;Icannoteat.

Runningtoescapethepain,frommyhead,tomyfeet.

Iamsohungry;AchingforwhatIneed.

Feedme,comfortme,loveme.Donotletmebleed.

Iamsohungry;Actingatotalfool.

Welcomingsweetpleasures.That‘sthe“goldenrule.”

Iamsohungry;Failingtoseethebounty.

Feelingsupanddown.Resentmentandangermounting.

Iamsohungry;Notsharingfrominside.

Empty,hollowblackness.FeelslikeIhavedied.

Iamsohungry;Doyouhaveenoughtospare?

Hunting,looking,searching.Whowillevercare?

Iamsohungry;Someonefeedmeplease!

Generouslygiving.Helpingmewithease.

Iamsohungry;Thoughtyou’dalwaysbethere.

Leavingmethroughseparation,abandonment,death,isiteverfair?

Iamsohungry;IthinkImightstarve.

Beastofayearning.HungerIcarve.

Q u i e t , d a n g e r , t r u t h a n d p u r -p o s e .

h u s h e d , b u l l i e d ; i s i t w o r t h i t ?

r e s t o r e s a l v a t i o n , f a i t h , p r o -t e c t i o n .

w e a k , a b s e n t & a n e m i c , a l l m e n t a l d e c e p t i o n .

l i b e r t i e s , r i g h t s , i n d e p e n -d e n c e . t u r n t h e t i d e , j u s t

m e n d o u r f e n c e s .s t a n d - u p , w a k e - u p ; c o l d h e a r t s

d i v i d e . a b s e n c e o f l e a d e r s h i p , d u r i n g t h e t i m e w e b i d e .

i n w a r d , u p w a r d , c o m f o r t , i n -s i g h t . d o n ’ t b e i n t i m i d a t e d t o

p u t u p a f i g h t .n o c a p t i v e s , n o f o r c e ; i s n o

d e f e n s e a t a l l . a c c o u n t a b i l -i t y , s t r e n g t h , p u r p o s e . i s i t

y o u r c a l l ?

I n -w a r d , u p -w a r d , c o m -f o r t I n -Q u i e t d a n g e r t r u t h a n d p u r p o s e L i b e r t i e s r i g h t s i n d e p e n d e n c e

i n w a r d u p w a r d c o m f o r t i n s i g h t L i f e L i b e r t y

a n d p u r s u i t o f h a p p i n e s s

21

DeceptionQuiet,danger,truthandpurpose.

Hushed,bullied;Isitworthit?

Restoresalvation,faith,protection.

Weak,absent&anemic,allmentaldeception.

Liberties,rights,independence.

Turnthetide,justmendourfences.

Stand-up,wake-up;Coldheartsdivide.

Absenceofleadership,duringthetimewebide.

Inward,upward,comfort,insight.

Don’tbeintimidatedtoputupafight.

Nocaptives,noforce;Isnodefenseatall.

Accountability,strength,purpose.Isityourcall?

Notdefendingandmindingthegate?

Divinepurpose,findourfate.

Shock,awe,intimidation;

Withnochange,there’selimination.

Life,liberty,andpursuitofhappiness.

Dedicatingourworth,

Executingthemadness.

Freedomcostsus;Soreal,sotrue.

Whatareyourtreasures?Whatwillyoudo?

Q u i e t , d a n g e r , t r u t h a n d p u r -p o s e .

h u s h e d , b u l l i e d ; i s i t w o r t h i t ?

r e s t o r e s a l v a t i o n , f a i t h , p r o -t e c t i o n .

w e a k , a b s e n t & a n e m i c , a l l m e n t a l d e c e p t i o n .

l i b e r t i e s , r i g h t s , i n d e p e n -d e n c e . t u r n t h e t i d e , j u s t

m e n d o u r f e n c e s .s t a n d - u p , w a k e - u p ; c o l d h e a r t s

d i v i d e . a b s e n c e o f l e a d e r s h i p , d u r i n g t h e t i m e w e b i d e .

i n w a r d , u p w a r d , c o m f o r t , i n -s i g h t . d o n ’ t b e i n t i m i d a t e d t o

p u t u p a f i g h t .n o c a p t i v e s , n o f o r c e ; i s n o

d e f e n s e a t a l l . a c c o u n t a b i l -i t y , s t r e n g t h , p u r p o s e . i s i t

y o u r c a l l ?

A r e y o u r u l e d b y f e a r ? D o y o u k n o w

h o w t o l i v e ?

T a k i n g , t a k i n g , t a k -i n g . P a s t t r a u -m a s w e r e - l i v e .

I n s p i r e o t h -e r s t o r e a c h o u t -s i d e t h e i r f e a r s .

D o i n g w h a t t h e y c a n n o t a l o n e t o g e t

t h r o u g h t h e y e a r s .

N o t b e i n g s o a f r a i d t o l i v e , t h i s

i d e a w e f o r g e t .

L i f e e n d i n g w i t h -o u t p e a c e , t h i s i s

a t r u e t h r e a t .

F e a r i n g h u r t , d i s -a p p o i n t m e n t ,

s h a m e o r l o s s .

T a k e c o n t r o l , s h o w t h e m a l l w h o ’ s b o s s .

D i s t u r b e d m i n d s , a g -g r e s s i v e a c t i o n s , i n -

s e c u r i t i e s , t h e r e i s ‘ D a n g e r ’ !

M a y b e p e o -p l e y o u k n o w , m a y

b e a s t r a n g e r .

S o m e k i n d s o f s t r e s s o f f e r s f l a v o r , s p i c e

a n d c h a l l e n g e .

A n o p p o r t u n i t y t o m o t i v a t e , w e n e e d

t o f i n d b a l a n c e .

S t r o n g - m i n d e d , c l e a r h e a d e d ; P r e s e n t i n

s o u l a n d s p i r i t .

L i v i n g w i t h o u t r e -g a r d s t o f e a r , a d o p t i n g c o u r -

a g e , I i n h e r i t .

23

BulliedAreyouruledbyfear?Doyouknowhowtolive?

Taking,taking,taking.Pasttraumaswere-live.

Inspireotherstoreachoutsidetheirfears.

Doingwhattheycannotalonetogetthroughtheyears.

Notbeingsoafraidtolive,thisideaweforget.

Lifeendingwithoutpeace,thisisatruethreat.

Fearinghurt,disappointment,shameorloss.

Takecontrol,showthemallwho’sboss.

Disturbedminds,aggressiveactions,insecurities,thereis‘Danger’!

Maybepeopleyouknow,maybeastranger.

Somekindsofstressoffersflavor,spiceandchallenge.

Anopportunitytomotivate,weneedtofindbalance.

Strong-minded,clearheaded;Presentinsoulandspirit.

Livingwithoutregardstofear,adoptingcourage,Iinherit.

FAITHblind

25

Blind FaithPuttingfaithinotherswasmyfirstgravemistake.

Believing,trusting,giving,lookingforabreak.

BelievingtheycoulddowhatIknowtheyareable.

Leavingituptothem,leftmeconfusedandunstable.

WhyIplacedmyeffortsinbackingtheirpotential?

Seeingandgraspingmyowngreatness,is100%essential.

Acquiringfaithinselfagain,Iwillnolongersubdue.

Addressingmyneedsandwants,thislifeIwillConstrue.

Justbecausepeople“don’tmeantohurtyou,”doesn’tmakeitanylessdestructive.

Makingexcuses,placingblame,makeslifeunproductive.

Inolongerhavefaithinthehumansthatexist.

Watchingthemsteal&robmeblind,hasleftmeangeredandpissed!FAITH

Looking in the mirror will never be the same,Lumpy, bumpy, frumpy; I want some one to blame.

Deformities, scars, sag-ging, “but wait, there“s more,““Aging graceful“ my ass; Using po-tions to settle the score.Life will catch you too, my friend,

The mirror always shows the truth in the end.Inner “ beauty, is what I“m looking for,

Sure as hell can“t rely on this body, to get me through the door.You never know how de-formed your body can be,Taken with grace, hum-bly; You too can be set free.

I know my beauty is deeper than my skin,What“s most valuable about each one of us, lies only within.

I hope my “beauty“ will truly inspire, Warming hearts, stirring a fire.

L o o k i n g i n t h e m i r r o r w i l l n e v -

e r b e t h e s a m e ,

L u m p y , b u m p y , f r u m p y ; I

w a n t s o m e o n e t o b l a m e .

D e f o r m i t i e s , s c a r s , s a g -

g i n g , “ b u t w a i t , t h e r e ’ s m o r e , ”

“ A g i n g g r a c e f u l “ m y a s s ; U s i n g p o -

t i o n s t o s e t -t l e t h e s c o r e .

L i f e w i l l c a t c h y o u t o o ,

m y f r i e n d ,

T h e m i r r o r a l -w a y s s h o w s t h e

t r u t h i n t h e e n d .

I n n e r “ b e a u -t y , i s w h a t I ’ m

l o o k i n g f o r ,

S u r e a s h e l l c a n ’ t r e l y o n t h i s b o d y , t o

g e t m e t h r o u g h t h e d o o r .

Y o u n e v e r k n o w h o w d e f o r m e d y o u r

b o d y c a n b e ,

T a k e n w i t h g r a c e , h u m b l y ; Y o u t o o

c a n b e s e t f r e e .

I k n o w m y b e a u -t y i s d e e p e r

t h a n m y s k i n ,

W h a t ’ s m o s t v a l u -a b l e a b o u t e a c h o n e o f u s , l i e s

o n l y w i t h i n .

I h o p e m y “ b e a u -t y ” w i l l t r u l y

i n s p i r e , W a r m i n g h e a r t s , s t i r -

r i n g a f i r e .

L o o k i n g i n t h e m i r r o r

w i l l n e v e r b e t h e s a m e ,

L u m p y , b u m p y , f r u m p y ; I

w a n t s o m e o n e t o b l a m e .

D e f o r m i t i e s , s c a r s , s a g g i n g ,

“ b u t w a i t , t h e r e ’ s m o r e , ”

“ A g i n g g r a c e f u l “ m y a s s ;

U s i n g p o t i o n s t o s e t -

t l e t h e s c o r e .

L i f e w i l l c a t c h y o u

t o o , m y f r i e n d ,

T h e m i r r o r a l w a y s s h o w s

t h e t r u t h i n t h e e n d .

I n n e r “ b e a u t y , i s w h a t

I ’ m l o o k i n g f o r ,

S u r e a s h e l l c a n ’ t r e l y

o n t h i s b o d y , t o g e t

m e t h r o u g h t h e d o o r

Skin Deep

27

Skin Deeps k i n D e e p

Skin DeepLookinginthemirrorwillneverbethesame,

Lumpy,bumpy,frumpy;Iwantsomeonetoblame.

Deformities,scars,sagging,“butwait,there’smore,”

“Aginggraceful“myass;Usingpotionstosettlethescore.

Lifewillcatchyoutoo,myfriend,

Themirroralwaysshowsthetruthintheend.

Inner“beauty,iswhatI’mlookingfor,

Sureashellcan’trelyonthisbody,togetmethroughthedoor.

Youneverknowhowdeformedyourbodycanbe,

Takenwithgrace,humbly;Youtoocanbesetfree.

Iknowmybeautyisdeeperthanmyskin,

What’smostvaluableabouteachoneofus,liesonlywithin.

Ihopemy“beauty”willtrulyinspire,Warminghearts,stirringafire.

T i r e d , w e a k a n d e x h a u s T e d a T T h e e n d o f e a c h d a y . r u s h e d . h u r r i e d , w o r k i n g , n e v e r s e e m s e n o u g h

T i m e T o p l a y .

e x T r e m e d e m a n d s a n d p h y s i c a l p r e s s u r e s , l e a v e s u s d o w n i n T h e d i r T .

n o T u n d e r s T a n d i n g p r i o r i T i e s , l e a v e s m e e x h a u s T e d , f r u s T r a T e d a n d h u r T .

k n o w i n g “ e n o u g h ’ s e n o u g h , ” i s a v a l u a b l e l e s s o n i n l i f e . g o i n g a b o u T i T a l l w r o n g T h o u g h , j u s T

c u T s y o u l i k e a k n i f e .

b a l a n c e w h i l e p r o T e c T i n g y o u r T i r e d a c h i n g b o n e s . Q u i e T l y e x i T i n g T h e s i T u a T i o n ,

c a r e f u l n o T T o T h r o w s T o n e s .

o f f e r i n g a r e a s o n i s a p e r s o n a l c h o i c e i f T h e y a s k .

o T h e r w i s e , e n j o y i n g a p e a c e f u l e x i s T e n c e i s m y l i f e ’ s o n l y T a s k .

T i r e d , w e a k a n d e x h a u s T -e d a T T h e e n d o f e a c h d a y . r u s h e d . h u r r i e d , w o r k i n g ,

n e v e r s e e m s e n o u g h T i m e T o p l a y .

e x T r e m e d e m a n d s a n d p h y s -i c a l p r e s s u r e s , l e a v e s u s

d o w n i n T h e d i r T .n o T u n d e r s T a n d i n g p r i o r i -T i e s , l e a v e s m e e x h a u s T e d ,

f r u s T r a T e d a n d h u r T .

k n o w i n g “ e n o u g h ’ s e n o u g h , ” i s a v a l u a b l e l e s s o n i n

l i f e . g o i n g a b o u T i T a l l w r o n g T h o u g h , j u s T c u T s

y o u l i k e a k n i f e .

b a l a n c e w h i l e p r o T e c T i n g y o u r T i r e d a c h i n g b o n e s .

Q u i e T l y e x i T i n g T h e s i T u a -

Exhausted

29

ExhaustedTired,weakandexhaustedattheendofeachday.

Rushed.hurried,working,neverseemsenoughtimetoplay.

Extremedemandsandphysicalpressures,leavesusdowninthedirt.

Notunderstandingpriorities,leavesmeexhausted,frustratedandhurt.

Knowing“enough’senough,”isavaluablelessoninlife.

Goingaboutitallwrongthough,justcutsYOUlikeaknife.

Balancewhileprotectingyourtiredachingbones.Quietlyexitingthesituation,

carefulnottothrowstones.

Offeringareasonisapersonalchoiceiftheyask.

Otherwise,enjoyingapeacefulexistenceismylife’sonlytask.

T i r e d , w e a k a n d e x h a u s T -e d a T T h e e n d o f e a c h d a y . r u s h e d . h u r r i e d , w o r k i n g ,

n e v e r s e e m s e n o u g h T i m e T o p l a y .

e x T r e m e d e m a n d s a n d p h y s -i c a l p r e s s u r e s , l e a v e s u s

d o w n i n T h e d i r T .n o T u n d e r s T a n d i n g p r i o r i -T i e s , l e a v e s m e e x h a u s T e d ,

f r u s T r a T e d a n d h u r T .

k n o w i n g “ e n o u g h ’ s e n o u g h , ” i s a v a l u a b l e l e s s o n i n

l i f e . g o i n g a b o u T i T a l l w r o n g T h o u g h , j u s T c u T s

y o u l i k e a k n i f e .

b a l a n c e w h i l e p r o T e c T i n g y o u r T i r e d a c h i n g b o n e s .

Q u i e T l y e x i T i n g T h e s i T u a -

Murd

erI a m b e I n g m u r -d e r e d , y e t , I a m s t I l l a l I v e ?H o w I s t H I s p o s -s I b l e ? ? t H I s d o e s n ’ t e v e n j I v e .I l o o k t H e s a m e , e x c e p t I ’ m n o l o n g e r r e a l l y m e … …w H o I s t o b l a m e f o r t H e c H a n g e s I s e e ?w H a t ? w H e r e ? s o m a n y , m a n y q u e s t I o n s … . .n e v e r a n y a n -s w e r s , j u s t n u m b s e n s a -t I o n s .l I f e ; d e a t H ; m u r d e r … . . I t a l l c H a n g e s w H o y o u a r e .m a y b e y o u ’ r e s e t f r e e ? m a y b e , y o u a r e l e f t s c a r r e d ?“ b e s t r o n g , ” “ H a v e f a I t H . ” “ b e H o n e s t , ” “ w o r k H a r d ; ”n o c o m p r o m I s e

31

Murder MeIambeingmurdered,yet,Iamstillalive?

Howisthispossible?Thisdoesn’tevenjive.

Ilookthesame,exceptI’mnolongerreallyme…

WhoistoblameforthechangesIsee?

What?Where?Somany,manyquestions…

Neveranyanswers,justnumbsensations.

Life;Death;Murder…..Itallchangeswhoyouare.

Maybeyou’resetfree?Maybe,youareleftscarred?

“Bestrong,”“havefaith.”“Behonest,”“workhard;”

Nocompromiseequalsnoholdsbar.

Wordsofwisdom,allmetwithgoodintensions.

Nonecomfortthesemaddeninginventions.

Whendeathforcesitselfuponyou,figuringoutwhattodo.

Islonely,dark,scaryandblue.

It’storturouspain,unbearably,insane!

Areyoulivinginfearorsimplylivinginvein?

“It’sokaytobescared,”“justbebrave,”

Re-inventa“newyou.”

Doyougivein?Oh,whattodo?

Whatareyoumadeof?Howmuchpainwillcausedeath?

Willitcostyouyourlife?Whatwillbeleft?

Willyougiveintothedarkness?Or,willyougotothelight?

Doyouhavethestrengthtostayalive?Willyoutryandfight?

desi

tinyBloody and lifeless, gasping for air……

People all around, do they even care?Yelling, screaming, pleading for help.Reality slipping. Attempting a yelp.Life or death, teetering on the ledge.Pushing, fighting, keeping clear from the edge.It is closer than you may possibly imagine.Are you prepared, or are you lagging?Today may be the day you meet your maker.Will you play along, or are you a faker?You choose. Your choice.What will becomes your final voice.Yesterday, tomorrow, or today.Be prepared, be ready. If you go, or if you stay.

B l o o d y a n d l i f e l e s s , g a s p i n g f o r a i r … …p e o p l e a l l a r o u n d , d o t h e y e v e n c a r e ?y e l l i n g , s c r e a m i n g , p l e a d i n g f o r h e l p .

r e a l i t y s l i p p i n g . a t t e m p t i n g a y e l p .l i f e o r d e a t h , t e e t e r i n g o n t h e l e d g e .

p u s h i n g , f i g h t i n g , k e e p i n g c l e a r f r o m t h e e d g e .

i t i s c l o s e r t h a n y o u m a y p o s s i B l y i m a g -i n e .

a r e y o u p r e p a r e d , o r a r e y o u l a g g i n g ?t o d a y m a y B e t h e d a y y o u m e e t y o u r m a k -

e r .W i l l y o u p l a y a l o n g , o r a r e y o u a f a k e r ?

y o u c h o o s e . y o u r c h o i c e .W h a t W i l l B e c o m e s y o u r f i n a l v o i c e .

y e s t e r d a y , t o m o r r o W , o r t o d a y .B e p r e p a r e d , B e r e a d y . i f y o u g o , o r i f

y o u s t a y .

33

DestinyBloodyandlifeless,gaspingforair……

Peopleallaround,dotheyevencare?

Yelling,screaming,pleadingforhelp.

Realityslipping.Attemptingayelp.

Lifeordeath,teeteringontheledge.

Pushing,fighting,keepingclearfromtheedge.

Itiscloserthanyoumaypossiblyimagine.

Areyouprepared,orareyoulagging?

Todaymaybethedayyoumeetyourmaker.

Willyouplayalong,orareyouafaker?

Youchoose.Yourchoice.

Whatwillbecomesyourfinalvoice.

Yesterday,tomorrow,ortoday.

Beprepared,beready.Ifyougo,orifyoustay.

True FriendI love your beauty and your amazing smile.Getting togeth-er from a dis-tance, may take us a while.We can never give in. We can never give up.Staying close in heart, lifting each other up.Being “a friend” seems highly un-derstated.Living to love forever, nev-er underrated.You will never push me away, or make me dis-like you.I am here by and by, loving, listening, stand-ing beside you.Being a part of your life, wheth-er young or old.This role in your life, I re-main to hold.

I l o v e y o u r b e a u t y

a n d y o u r a m a z i n g s m i l e .

G e t t i n g t o g e t h e r f r o m a d i s -

t a n c e , m a y t a k e u s a w h i l e .

W e c a n n e v e r g i v e i n .

W e c a n n e v e r g i v e u p .

S t a y i n g c l o s e i n h e a r t ,

l i f t i n g e a c h o t h e r u p .

B e i n g “ a f r i e n d ” s e e m s

h i g h l y u n d e r s t a t e d .

L i v i n g t o l o v e f o r e v -

e r , n e v e r u n d e r r a t e d .

Y o u w i l l n e v e r p u s h m e a w a y ,

o r m a k e m e d i s l i k e y o u .

I a m h e r e b y a n d b y , l o v -

i n g , l i s t e n i n g , s t a n d -

i n g b e s i d e y o u .

B e i n g a p a r t o f y o u r l i f e ,

w h e t h e r y o u n g o r o l d .

T h i s r o l e i n y o u r l i f e ,

I r e m a i n t o h o l d .

35

True FriendIloveyourbeautyandyouramazingsmile.

Gettingtogetherfromadistance,maytakeusawhile.

Wecannevergivein.Wecannevergiveup.

Stayingcloseinheart,liftingeachotherup.

Being“afriend”seemshighlyunderstated.

Livingtoloveforever,neverunderrated.

Youwillneverpushmeaway,ormakemedislikeyou.

Iamherebyandby,loving,listening,standingbesideyou.

Beingapartofyourlife,whetheryoungorold.

Thisroleinyourlife,Iremaintohold.

True FriendI love your beauty and your amazing smile.Getting togeth-er from a dis-tance, may take us a while.We can never give in. We can never give up.Staying close in heart, lifting each other up.Being “a friend” seems highly un-derstated.Living to love forever, nev-er underrated.You will never push me away, or make me dis-like you.I am here by and by, loving, listening, stand-ing beside you.Being a part of your life, wheth-er young or old.This role in your life, I re-main to hold.

Laziness

a r e w e b o r n w i t h a p e r s o n a L i t y

o r d o w e c r e a t e i t ?

b e i n g L a z y a n d u n m o t i v a t e d , n o o n e s e e m s

t o d e b a t e s i t .

w a k e u p , g e t t o w o r k , y o u L a z y b a g o f

b o n e s .

f i n d i n g a r e a s o n , a p u r p o s e , t h i s n o o n e

o w n s .

c o m m i t t e d t o f i n d i n g a n i n t e r e s t , o r e n -

t h u s i a s m i n s u c c e s s .

f i n d i n g o t h e r s e L e v a t e d i n t h e m i r e ,

L o o k s i m p o s s i b L e i c o n f e s s .Laziness

a r e w e b o r n w i t h a p e r s o n a L i t y o r d o w e c r e a t e i t ?b e i n g L a z y a n d u n m o -t i v a t e d , n o o n e s e e m s t o d e b a t e s i t .

w a k e u p , g e t t o w o r k , y o u L a z y b a g o f b o n e s .f i n d i n g a r e a s o n , a p u r p o s e , t h i s n o o n e o w n s .

c o m m i t t e d t o f i n d i n g a n i n t e r e s t , o r e n -t h u s i a s m i n s u c c e s s .f i n d i n g o t h e r s e L -e v a t e d i n t h e m i r e , L o o k s i m p o s s i b L e i c o n f e s s .

L i v i n g i n a c o r p s e t h a t i s u s e L e s s w h e n y o u ’ r e f r o z e n .t h a t ’ s t h e d e c i s i o n y o u h a v e o b v i o u s L y c h o s e n .

a r e w e b o r n w i t h a p e r s o n a L -i t y o r d o w e c r e a t e i t ?b e i n g L a z y a n d u n m o t i v a t -e d , n o o n e s e e m s t o d e -b a t e s i t .

w a k e u p , g e t t o w o r k , y o u L a z y b a g o f b o n e s .f i n d i n g a r e a s o n , a p u r -p o s e , t h i s n o o n e o w n s .

c o m m i t t e d t o f i n d i n g a n i n t e r e s t , o r e n t h u s i a s m i n s u c c e s s .f i n d i n g o t h e r s e L e v a t e d i n t h e m i r e , L o o k s i m p o s -s i b L e i c o n f e s s .

L i v i n g i n a c o r p s e t h a t i s u s e L e s s w h e n y o u ’ r e f r o z e n .t h a t ’ s t h e d e c i s i o n y o u h a v e o b v i o u s L y c h o s e n .

a r e w e b o r n w i t h a p e r s o n a L i t y o r d o w e c r e a t e i t ?b e i n g L a z y a n d u n m o t i -v a t e d , n o o n e s e e m s t o d e -b a t e s i t .w a k e u p , g e t t o w o r k , y o u L a z y b a g o f b o n e s .f i n d i n g a r e a s o n , a p u r p o s e , t h i s n o o n e o w n s .

c o m m i t t e d t o f i n d i n g a n i n t e r -e s t , o r e n t h u s i -a s m i n s u c c e s s .f i n d i n g o t h e r s e L e v a t e d i n t h e m i r e , L o o k s i m p o s s i -b L e i

37

LazinessArewebornwithapersonalityordowecreateit?

Beinglazyandunmotivated,nooneseemstodebatesit.

Wakeup,gettowork,youlazybagofbones.

Findingareason,apurpose,thisnooneowns.

Committedtofindinganinterest,orenthusiasminsuccess.

Findingotherselevatedinthemire,looksimpossibleIconfess.

Livinginacorpsethatisuselesswhenyou’refrozen.

That’sthedecisionyouhaveobviouslychosen.

LazinessLaziness

N o i s e a n d m o r e n o i s e i n s i d e m y h e a d . T h i n k i n g , t h i n k -

i n g , t h i n k i n g , w i s h i n g f o r d e a d . I n s o m n i a , n i g h t m a r e s ,

e x t r e m e n i g h t t e r r o r . N o t a b l e t o h e a r s i l e n c e , d e a f -

n e s s I d a r e . W h e n a l o n e m y t h o u g h t s b e c o m e l o u d a n d a n -

n o y . S o u l s w a n d e r i n g , m u r m u r i n g i n t h e d a r k n e s s , s t e a l -

i n g a l l j o y . A w a i t i n g d a y b r e a k , s e e m s t i m e i s c r a w l i n g .

D a r k v i s i o n s a n d v o i c e s , l i k e I a m f a l l i n g , f a l l i n g ,

f a l l i n g . F e a r f u l , t e r r i f i e d , l o o k i n g f o r c a l m n e s s w i t h

t h e s e t h o u g h t s . S o m e w h e r e b e t w e e n d e n i a l a n d t r i t e a d -

v i c e , e v e r s o c a u g h t . T u n i n g i n t o t h e c h a o s m y s u b c o n -

s c i o u s b i n d s . P e a c e a n d s e r e n i t y , p l e a s e f i l l t h e m i n d !

T a k e n b y s u r p r i s e , t h e d e m o n s w e c a r r y . V o i c e s s c r e a m -

i n g a n d s h o u t i n g , c a n w e e v e r b u r y ? H e a v y , h a r s h c h a t -

t e r s p e a k i n g t o t h e s o u l . C h a n g i n g t h e t u n e o f t h e n o i s e ,

t h i s i s t h e g o a l . T u r n i n g o f f e v i l , s h u t t i n g d o w n h a -

t r e d t o a w h i s p e r . M y n o i s e , m y v o i c e , n e e d s t o b e

c r i s p e r . I g n o r i n g t r a g e d y a n d v i o l e n c e , w h e r e v e r c r e -

a t e d . V o i c e s s t e a l i n g j o y , m u s t b e e l i m i n a t e d . C l a i m -

i n g t h e p e a c e t h e s o u l d e s p e r a t e l y d e s i r e s . S t o m p i n g

o n w o e s , p u t t i n g o u t f i r e s . K n o w i n g y o u d e s e r v e a q u i -

e t e x i s t e n c e . T h e m i n d s t o r m i n g w i t h i n t e r r u p t e d r e -

s i s t a n c e . O p e n i n g t h e g a t e w a y o f p a s t a n d p r e s e n t . T h e

l e g a c y o f t r a d i t i o n s , b u i l d i n g r e s e n t m e n t . H e s i t a t i n g

t o a c c e p t r e s o n a t i n g d i s r u p t i o n . J u s t i f y i n g l i e s , n o r -

m a l i z i n g c o r r u p t i o n . A r e w e t r a p p e d , d o w e c h o o s e h a v -

o c i n o u r h e a d ? M e d i t a t e , r e l a x , v i s u a l i z e . T h i s i s

w h a t i s s a i d . E a s i e r s a i d t h a n d o n e , u n l e s s y o u t r a i n .

Noise and more noise inside my head. Thinking, think-

ing, thinking, wishing for dead. Insomnia, nightmares,

extreme night terror. Not able to hear silence, deaf-

ness I dare. When alone my thoughts become loud and an-

noy.Souls wandering, murmuring in the darkness, steal-

ing all joy. Awaiting daybreak, seems time is crawling.

Dark visions and voices, like I am falling, falling,

falling. Fearful, terrified, looking for calmness with

these thoughts. Somewhere between denial and trite ad-

vice, ever so caught. Tuning into the chaos my subcon-

scious binds. Peace and serenity, please fill the mind!

Taken by surprise, the demons we carry. Voices scream-

ing and shouting, can we ever bury? Heavy, harsh chat-

ter speaking to the soul. Changing the tune of the noise,

this is the goal. Turning off evil, shutting down ha-

tred to a whisper. My noise, my voice, needs to be

crisper. Ignoring tragedy and violence, wherever cre-

ated. Voices stealing joy, must be eliminated. Claim-

ing the peace the soul desperately desires. Stomping

on woes, putting out fires. Knowing you deserve a qui-

et existence. The mind storming with interrupted re-

sistance. Opening the gateway of past and present. The

legacy of traditions, building resentment. Hesitating

to accept resonating disruption. Justifying lies, nor-

malizing corruption. Are we trapped, do we choose hav-

oc in our head? Meditate, relax, visualize. This is

what is said. Easier said than done, unless you train.

voic

es

39

VoicesNoiseandmorenoiseinsidemyhead.Thinking,thinking,thinking,wishingfordead.Insomnia,nightmares,extremenightterrorNotabletohearsilence,deafnessIdare.Whenalonemythoughtsbecomeloudandannoy.Soulswandering,murmuringinthedarkness,stealingalljoy.Awaitingdaybreak,seemstimeiscrawling.Darkvisionsandvoices,likeIamfalling,falling,falling.Fearful,terrified,lookingforcalmnesswiththesethoughts.Somewherebetweendenialandtriteadvice,eversocaught.Tuningintothechaosmysubconsciousbinds.Peaceandserenity,pleasefillthemind!Takenbysurprise,thedemonswecarry.Voicesscreamingandshouting,canweeverbury?Heavy,harshchatterspeakingtothesoul.Changingthetuneofthenoise,thisisthegoal.Turningoffevil,shuttingdownhatredtoawhisper.Mynoise,myvoice,needstobecrisper.Ignoringtragedyandviolence,wherevercreated.Voicesstealingjoy,mustbeeliminated.Claimingthepeacethesouldesperatelydesires.Stompingonwoes,puttingoutfires.Knowingyoudeserveaquietexistence.Themindstormingwithinterruptedresistance.Openingthegatewayofpastandpresent.Thelegacyoftraditions,buildingresentment.Hesitatingtoacceptresonatingdisruption.Justifyinglies,normalizingcorruption.Arewetrapped,dowechoosehavocinourhead?Meditate,relax,visualize.Thisiswhatissaid.Easiersaidthandone,unlessyoutrain.

Lasting, forever intimacy, is what I am in search,New developments, new discoveries; Will it ever work?My heart values pure, clean love,No one, no where, seems to be above.Betrayal, mistrust, violation; Is all I see;It’s all I can do, to be set free.Disrespected, suffocated, completely undermined;Trusting in authority has caused me to be left behind.Hiding in the darkness, just giving it all away;Not understanding there is brilliance and glory just at bay.Do they find me attractive? Will they look my way?Searching confused, distorted, each and every day.Who will love me lavishly, completely and whole?Not perversely, not co-dependently, not acting a total fool?Finding safety and ministering to my each and every need,Clean, healthy relations. Lord, I beg! Lord, I plead!

Learning to trust again, running to the light;Feeling safe and free again, this is my plight.Giving it all away, not realizing my life is priceless,Doing all I can each day, to keep my-self from crisis.I’ve wised up now. No longer trying to play it cool.Giving it all away, almost left me lone-ly, hard and cruel.Realizing life is dark sided as can be,I’ve been given the gift of a brighter life; Liberated, exhilarated, completely set free.

Lasting, forever intimacy, is what I am in search,New developments, new discoveries; Will it ever work?My heart values pure, clean love,No one, no where, seems to be above.Betrayal, mistrust, violation; Is all I see;It’s all I can do, to be set free.Disrespected, suffocated, completely under-mined;Trusting in authority has caused me to be left behind.

Hiding in the darkness, just giving it all away;Not understanding there is brilliance and glo-ry just at bay.Do they find me attractive? Will they look my way?Searching confused, distorted, each and every day.Who will love me lavishly, completely and whole?Not perversely, not co-dependently, not acting a total fool?Finding safety and ministering to my each and every need,Clean, healthy relations. Lord, I beg! Lord, I plead!

Learning to trust again, running to the light;Feeling safe and free again, this is my plight.Giving it all away, not realizing my life is priceless,Doing all I can each day, to keep myself from crisis.I’ve wised up now. No longer trying to play it cool.Giving it all away, almost left me lonely, hard and cruel.Realizing life is dark sided as can be,I’ve been given the gift of a brighter life; Liberated, exhilarated, completely set free.












m y w a y ?S e a r c h i n g c o n f u s e d , d i s t o r t e d , e a c h a n d e v -

e r y d a y .W h o w i l l l o v e m e l a v i s h l y , c o m p l e t e l y a n d













d a r k

I do not consider myself a poet or a writer per say. I just enjoy expressing myself and found myself using the time I had to en-tertain the thoughts being created in my brain. I experienced a serious life change in 2006 when I had to leave my full time career of 10 years as Registered Nurse, due to a life threatening heart condition. I went through a gamet of changes as any-one does in these circumstances, and in the end as I was recovering from the inside out I created these collection of words. I have been blessed to have healing of the body and also the soul in the transition of the life experiences since then. I avoided the need for a heart transplant, however I have transformed my soul forever in the process. I have been surrounded by amaz-ing people that have inspired me in ways they never realized. I love each and every one for the assistance in my healing and personal growth on this journey of life. Many thanks to my children, my friends, my family, and the new acquaintances that have come into my life to push me to strive for greatness every day.

contact:[email protected]

collection of words

41

I do not consider myself a poet or a writer

per say. I just enjoy expressing myself and

found myself using the time I had to enter-

tain the thoughts being created in my brain.

Iexperiencedaseriouslifechangein2006when

Ihadtoleavemyfulltimecareerof10yearsas

RegisteredNurse,duetoalifethreateningheart

condition. I went through a gamet of changes

as anyone does in these circumstances, and

in theendas Iwas recovering from the inside

out I created these collection ofwords. I have

been blessed to have healing of the body and

alsothesoulinthetransitionofthelifeexperi-

encessincethen.Iavoidedtheneedforaheart

transplant,howeverIhavetransformedmysoul

foreverintheprocess.Ihavebeensurrounded

byamazingpeoplethathaveinspiredmeinways

they never realized. I love each and every one

for the assistance in my healing and personal

growthonthis journeyof life. Manythanksto

mychildren,myfriends,myfamily,andthenew

aquaintancesthathavecomeintomylifetopush

metostriveforgreatnesseveryday.

contact:[email protected]

concept + design:©2010byHarald-M.Lehnardt,dolceVita:FineArts&Communicationwww.dolcevita.net808.779.8289

Lori Falabella .voicescollection of words: 1995 - 2010

concept + design: www.dolceVita.net

Voices

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