Urban Parenting May 2014 Issue

MagazineUrban Parenting

WAYS TO REDISCOVER YOUR TRUE PASSION AFTER A DIVORCE.

7 GIRLS LIKE

THEM FAST & FURIOUS TOO!

THE FEMALE OBSESSION WITH FAST CARS!

CARINGloverWHAT KIND OF LOVER ARE YOU?

COUNTDOWN TO SUMMER:HOW TO GET FIT AND LOSE WEIGHT IN JUST SIX WEEKS!

Girl Power! Special Vanity Issue

FitnessChallenge

Weaving Thebrokeness

HOW YOU CAN FIINALLY HEAL THE WOUNDS OF

ABANDONMENT

04Girls Like Them TOO! The Fast & Furious

Publisher’s Note

Self Improvement

Mother’s Day

fitness

OTHERAre You a Caring Lover?What kind of lover are you? Are you all about your mate? Or is it all about you?

Coutndown toSummer!A six week challenge that will have you extremely satisfied with the results!

Love Thyself First!Taking the time to fall in love with yourself will benefit you in the long run.

Weaving The BrokennessHow to heal the wounds of abadon-ment.

Celebrating MothersSpecial gift ideas to show mom just how special she really is year-round.

Thanks Moms!A Celebration for Mother’s should be EVERY day!

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Rediscovering Your True PassionDivorces can be very hard. However, you don’t have to lose yourself in the pro-cess! Here’s how to redi-cover your true passions in life post divorce!

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10Are You a Caring

Lover?

14

Thanks!

W. ManigatPublisher, [email protected]

W e remember our Mother on Mother’s Day. That is not to say that otherwise we have forgot-ten her. But on Mother’s Day, we especially say thanks to our mother. This is the day to cel-

ebrate Motherhood. Let us talk about our mother and find out if one day in a year is enough to remember mother?

Celebrating mother’s EVERY day, not just Mother’s Day.

We are grown up today because of our mother. Right from the day we are born, mother’s take us under her protection. She feeds us, gives us medicines, looks after our growth and teach-es us to walk and play. Mother’s help us in our school studies and fights for us with others if required. Mother’s save us from every calamity. Watch a toddler in the lap of her mother and you will see a deep sense of peace on his/her face. A child feels totally safe when he/she knows that mom is nearby.

We thank our friends, our co-workers and every body who helps us. Well, what about our mothers? When shall we thank her for bringing us up? When shall we thank her for the sleep-less nights she had because of us/ when shall we thank her for cleaning us during our infancy? When shall we thank her for giving us birth?

A mother deserves much more than a single Mother’s day. She should be sent a Thank you card everyday. She should know that we realize what all shehas done for us and we are thank-ful for that. No thanks can ever repay a mother’s debt, but at least we can make her happy on this special day and every day moving forward!

Respectfully,

Urban Parenting Magazine

Published 11 times a year by Urban Parenting Magazine LLC., in West Palm

Beach, FL. Editorial submissions and reader correspondence are welcome. We reserve

the right to edit, reject or comment on any material submitted. We are not responsible for the return of unsolicited material. Urban

Parenting Magazine is available online and at numerous locations within diverse communities free of charge. Publication

and distribution of the magazine does not constitute an endorsement of information, products or services. The publisher reserves

the right to reject any advertisement or listing which is not in keeping with the

magazine’s standards.

Copyright 2014. All rights reserved. Any reproduction in whole or in part is prohibited

without written permission.

Publisher Wilson Manigat

Editor-in-Chief

Debbie Manigat

How to Contact Us

Website: UrbanParentingMagazine.com

Email: [email protected]

Office: (954) 560-8326

Correspondence: Urban Parenting Magazine

P.O. Box 222911West Palm Beach FL 33422

4 Stylish!

‘‘I NICKNAMED HER (THE CAR) BLACK BEAUTY, SHE WAS A GREAT CAR!’

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Fast & Furious

W hile today we have women racing in Indy, NASCAR and a variety of different racing venues,

years ago this wasn’t the case.

In fact, during the era I grew up in women were looked upon in a very different light. If you deviated from the norm you were labeled as a “tomboy”. However, there were many, like myself who loved to drive, work on cars and got a lot of satisfaction in do-ing so. Just because we did however, didn’t mean we weren’t women, girls, ladies, whatever you wish to be called.

Many of us so called “tomboys” were the product of being first born girls with dads who wanted the prodigal son first, but got a daughter instead. My dad and I watched sports together, baseball, football, basket-ball. In fact, my dad was the neighborhood dad (those who grew up when I did will understand) and played with all the kids in the neighborhood. We would have touch football games, kickball, baseball, t-ball and even badminton and volleyball games.

I developed an avid interest in cars, because my dad worked for Rolls Royce and was always bring-ing some great cars home. He brought home Joe Namath’s Jaguar, a Silver Cloud Rolls Royce (owned by one of the builders in the area I grew up) . In fact I got to drive it, which was a thrill to say the least.

Cars had character back then, you could tell them apart. While my dad for years drove a Ford Station wagon (for business), he also owned Dodge’s and some Chevy’s. My mother loved the Mustang and got one in 1965. I liked them bigger, so my first car was a 1962 Chevy Belair (2 door). I nicknamed her ìThe Black Beautyî she was a great car.

My dad showed me how to change my oil and filter, and to take care of my car. We also worked on the brakes and much more together. I would spend a whole day, cleaning, washing and waxing that car. It was the perfect car for my “lead foot”. I can’t count the number of cars that would pull up next to me, and reeve up their engines thinking “It’s a girl, she’ll never beat me off the line”! Well, how wrong they were. I can count on one hand those that took me off the line!

Girls also get a lot of satisfaction driving, restoring, andworking on cars too!G

Jessica W.

I hung around with a group of friends, mostly guys, but some girls also. The cars were varied, Mustangs, Vettes, Chargers, Chevelle’s and a multitude of street cars. We all loved cars and driving them, and especially driving them to their limits. Which we did! Did us girls always beat the guys, nah, but it was sure fun when we did!

So remember, next time you come up next to a lady driver, Girls like them Fast and Furi-ous Too!

6 Stylish!

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8 Urban Parenting

Weaving THE brokeness

MMy daughter puts her arms around me, her brown eyes soft and beckoning. Her rounded belly and motherly curves rest

against me, and for a moment I choke up. She is pregnant with a girl baby whose middle name will be Joy like mine. She will be my first grand-daughter, and my second grandchild.

How you can go about healing the wounds of abandonment and breaking the vicious cycle.

‘‘CREATE JOY AND BEAUTY IN YOUR LIFE NOW!’’

My grandmother and mother didn’t want grand-children either. My children were not welcomed, and my mother made it clear the few times she saw my children, they were to keep their identi-ty a secret too. Her passing on the poison to my children woke me up to how cruel and heart-less she was. Over the years, I had adjusted to her rejection of me, but when I saw her teach my children not to call her grandmother, and to

lie to the people at her apartment about their identity, I snapped. I never tried to get her to ac-cept us again after that. I had to accept that she never would.

This was another pattern. When my grandmoth-er received the telegram announcing my birth, she threw it aside saying, “So the brat is born.” Later, she took me in and raised me, but the feel-ing that I was living on the edge of societal and familial acceptance settled deep into my bones.

There are many thousands of such stories in the world, people who were abandoned as children. However, If you recognize your story in mine, here are a few healing suggestions:

Healing Abandonment

1. Remind yourself of these things:

a. It was not your fault

b. You were not a bad child

c. Your mother may not have realized how deeply this affected you

I was named Joy by my great-grandmother, Blanche, the mother of my grandmother Lulu, who spent much of her childhood living with Blanche’s mother. When Lulu was a young woman, she abandoned her daughter Josephine. Josephine abandoned me when I was four years old, leaving me with her mother. What a heritage!

When I look at my daughter, I see the images of my foremothers in my mindómy beautiful but insensitive mother, my intelligent, break-ing-the-rules grandmother. I remember their terrible fights and broken dishes that went flying when my mother came to visit, and I think of my grandmotherís deathbed, where there was no forgiveness between them. I think of how my mother didn’t want anyone to know she had a child, and how I tried to win her love until she died.

I was able to break the chains of aban-donment, but I still carry within me the memories of these passionate but disturbed women whose genes I carry.

2. Create joy and beauty in your life now.

a. Gather supportive friends and loved ones around you

b. Feed yourself good food, and treat your body well

c. Give yourself birthday par-ties and moments of celebration

3. Find the help you need to heal your wounds

a. Find a therapist who be-lieves that the past affects the present and can help you work through it

b. Write your storyófrom your point of view all the way through

c. Illustrate your story with family photos

d. After you write your story, write the story of your motherís life. Research her life as best you can. Illustrate it with photos. And

FInally-

4. Use visualization, meditation, and prayer to get in touch with the life you want to live, and the blessings of your life

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10 Urban Parenting

Are You Acaring lover?W

hat kind of lover you are? Do you care for your beloved? Or you are more concerned

about what you get in love? Those who care in love always win at the end. Because their care shows in their character and they feel good that they care about someone.

Unless your love is not a synonym for physical relation, your love must transcend ordinary relationships. Let me give you an example. A mothers relation with her children is beyond and different from every other rela-tionship. Similarly, if you truly love, you will care, because to love means to care. What about you? Are you a caring lover?

Let me ask you a simple question. Your darling has not bothered to call you for few days. What kind of ideas do you get? Your answer to this question will tell you a lot about your love.

11Urban Parenting

‘‘IF YOU TRULY LOVE, YOU WILL CARE, BECAUSE TO LOVE MEANS TO CARE.’’

Do you suspect that he/she might have fallen in love with somebody else/ or that they are not bothered about you? Or that there may be something wrong, otherwise it is impossible that your lover will not call. Unless your answer is the last one, you need to rethink about your relationship and you may not call it as love.

To love means to give. Love de-mands that you keep your beloved happy. You forgive them for major blunders. You be with them through everything. Love means to become one with your sweetheart. Unless that happens, it is not love, but a pretense of love. If you love, you must care.

To really get your love for your self flowing this beautiful day, go ahead and make an

official list on a piece of paper that has the heading “I love myself because” Then make another list that begins “I love (what) about myself.” Of course, you then have to add to those lists. Make a long loving list of things that can show you all the wonderful things

you love about your self.

This is just the start to finally loving your-self.

Liking and loving comes from having a true sense of self-acceptance; we do not

have to be perfect model citizens. Your liking for yourself will increase once you

know more about how you function and learning to accept yourself as you are, even

if you do have issues or foibles every now and then.

Love Thyself first?

To focus your love on someone else, you must first love yourself.L“TO LOVE

MEANS TO GIVE. LOVE DEMANDS THAT YOU

KEEP YOUR BE-LOVED HAPPY“

For mor information on how to be a better, caring lover or just tips and secrets to please your mate visit www.UrbanParentingMagazine.com

12 Urban Parenting

FitnessChallenge

“FRUITS AND VEGETABLES

WILL HELP WARD OFF

CANCER AND OTHER

DISEASES.”

H ow about those fabulous bike rides in the park! What about grilling barbeque on the deck? Are you down for

a little surfing and tanning on the beach? Summer will be upon us in less than a few weeks. Not only do we want to enjoy the warm months that are rapidly ap-proaching,

A six week challenege that will get you right not only for the summer but for the rest of your life!

cereal, or yogurt, you will probably find yourself 10 pounds lighter on breakfast alone. Do the same for lunch and dinner and lose an additional 10-20 pounds. Wait until you add exercise into the equa-tion.

Exercise for thirty minutes per day, four to five times a week and watch additional pounds drop.

Of course, this takes determina-tion and discipline. Yet, habits are habits. Once you get used to a routine of eating certain foods, it becomes second nature. Weight management not only helps you look better, but helps you feel better. You will begin to notice an increase in energy and an improvement in health.

It is important to monitor the amount of cholesterol you consume.

IT DOESN’T MATTER IF IT’S TEN, TWEN-TY...OR SEVENTY

POUNDS, JUST GET STARTED!

It doesn’t matter if it is ten, twenty, forty, or seventy pounds, just get started!

Weight loss should be slow and steady, while focusing on cutting calories and increasing exercise. It is important to re-frain from overexerting yourself. Weight loss takes time.

I have never been one to acknowledge or accept the idea of dieting. The true meaning of dieting is counting and managing your calories for a specific amount of time in order to reach a target weight goal. This concerns me because it is temporary. What happens when you resume your normal eating habits? You gain weight!

I believe in making a complete paradigm in the way we think about food. You can do this by establishing good eating habits.

Why not establish a habit of consuming 500-600 calories for breakfast instead of 1,500? If you replace muffins, bagels, pancakes, sausage, grits and bacon with fruit, turkey bacon, cottage cheese, grain

13Urban Parenting

It is a good idea to make a list of different ways to incorporate walking into your daily life. If you live near a metro transit sta-tion, drive there, park your car and ride the train and walk to work. If you are a new mother, get a stroller that will enable you to burn calories while you are walking your baby. Why not take the stairs, instead of the elevator? u are walking your baby. Why not take the stairs, instead of the elevator? You would be surprised at how many calories you can burn by gardening, swimming, skating, hiking, and dancing.

Believe it or not, you can have fun while losing weight. Exercise, along with a positive attitude, and a healthy diet will help you to manage your weight and improve your health. Exercise does not have to be rigorous to be valuable. You will probably do yourself a disservice by exercising too hard. Take it easy. Always remember that if you can not talk and walk at the same time, then you are walking too fast.

Check out UrbanParentingMagazine.com for more info!

A diet high in fruits and vegetables will help you ward off cancer and other diseases because of the cancer-fighting agents contained in them. They contain a lot of fiber and a diet high in fiber decreases your risk of developing colon cancer and other types of cancer.

People have asked me how exercise can give you energy. It seems as though it takes your energy away because you utilize so much energy when you exercise. This is the farthest thing from the truth. The more you exercise and lose weight, the more energy you get and keep be-cause you are carrying less weight, which takes less energy. The more you exercise, the more you are able to exercise.

After you get your weight to a manageable level, monitor or keep a close eye on it. Weigh yourself everyday. That way, you can take mea-sures or do things to nip sudden weight gain. If you find yourself five or ten pounds heavier than your target weight, you should cut back immediately. It becomes a problem when we wait until we are 30, 60, or 100 pounds overweight. It can feel like you’re fighting a losing battle when your weight gain has become too extreme.

14 Urban Parenting

“Many times we put out own wants and need on hold to keep our families and jobs running smoothly. “

15Urban Parenting

7 ways toredicoveryour passion

G oing through a divorce is a very challenging time in a person’s life. It is hard to adjust to being single again, as well as living “out of the habit” of being married, especially if you have been married for many, many years.

J. White

Eventually, you begin to think about dating, but it is suggested that you take your time. Use this precious opportunity to rediscover yourself. Think of this time in your life as an adventure to explore the real you. If you have worked outside the home combined with being a mom and wife for the last ten, fifteen or twenty years, you may have lost yourself along the way. Certainly not on pur-pose, but as most women try to do it all as “super” moms, many times we put our own wants and needs on hold to keep our families and jobs running smoothly!

Take a deep breath and let’s start to rediscover our true passions and say- Will the Real Me Please Stand Up!

1. Treasure Your Gifts WithinRealizing we are all born as “gold nuggetsî is a hard concept for many women to believe about themselves. Think about how magnificent you really are! Over time, you might have forgotten your unique gifts and are only thinking of what you don’t like about yourself or your life. Set a new intention, starting today, to list all of your great qualities and read that list everyday. Keep reading it until you believe it. Examples: beautiful smile, kindness, generosity, loving, caring, intelligent keep going. Your list is endless, when you start focusing on your great qualities. Allow yourself to see the shining gold within. It’s already there!

2. Give Yourself A BreakDuring and after a divorce it is common to have the feeling of grieving, similar to that of the loss of someone. Many women feel the need to stay busy to keep their minds off of this stressful time, such as working overtime or cleaning the house from top to bottom, but let this time also include pampering yourself. Barter with a friend or neighbor to watch your children or leave work a few min-utes early so you can stop to sit on a park bench long enough to get that sense of the unique and special YOU. Take this time to experience life even for only 10 minutes without feeling like a wife, mother, sister or daughter... simply you!

3. No regrets! No bitterness!Holding onto regrets and bitterness will only keep your life from moving for-ward. Is your inner voice working overtime with all the ìwhat ifsî and ìif onlysî? This is normal for a period of time, but ask yourselfÖare these thoughts serving me or helping me feel better? Will thinking about them over and over again change anything? To move your life forward, it is important to acknowledge your feelings and to learn from your past experiences to prepare yourself for the next exciting chapter of your life. Yes, there is life after divorce. Learn to let it go! Just, let it go!

A quote from Buddy Hackett, “I never hold a grudge because while I am being angry, the other person is out dancing.”

Continue on Page 18

16 Urban Parenting

Mother’sDayCelebrating mother’s daily. Here are some great gift ideas to show you care.

01

For the new mom, this makes a great gift. Children grow up so fast, catch-ing those fleeting moments are im-portant. With scrap booking becom-ing so popular, digital cameras also make a great gift for the scrapbook lover.

Digital Camera02

We at Urban Par-enting Magazine cherish all of our mother’s, not only

on Mother’s day but year-round. Being a mom is not for the faint at heart, yet mom’s get up every day and make the best out of any situation. Because of that it is only fitting that we show our mother’s how much we care and appreci-ate all of their efforts. Here are a few great gift ideas for that special mother in your life!

“MOTHERS NEVER STOP

GIVING...“

A weekend retreat to a ski lodge could be great for the mom who needs a weekend to unwind. Or maybe you reside in the sunny cli-mate, how about simply giving mom a nice weekend out at a nice resort on the beach. She does so much, give her the oportunity to kick her feet up, relax and exnjoy the beauti-ful weather.

A Getaway

Charitable Donations03For the mom who never stops giv-ing, she would be honored to know that a donation was given to her fa-vor charity in her name. This is truly a gift that keeps on giving.

17Urban Parenting

New mothers would surely appre-ciate a night out of the house with some adult conversation and atmo-sphere. It’s a simple request, yet such a grand gesture for those moms who just want an evening as an adult. This works well with the morning and afternoon spent with the children. That is what Mother’s Day is about in the first place..

A Night Out04

Most mothers I know could use a spa day. Whether her children are at home or have long since moved out, a spa day is great choice. Spa Days range from a whole package of all the goodies like mud baths and lunch or just a half hour of massage

A Spa Day05 You can find Gift baskets that con-tain any and everything. There are baskets that are specifically de-signed for Mother’s Day, but other choices include gourmet and fruit baskets, spa bsakets and candle bas-kets. Many places also make custom baskets.

Gift Basket08

“BEING A GOOD MOTHER IS THE HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD. OFFER MOM THAT SPECIAL STAR TREATMENT. “

Digital Camera

Being a good mother is the hardest job in the world. Offering that spe-cial mom the star treatment for a day is a great gift. Start with allowing her to sleep in. As if that weren’t gift enough, breakfast in bed and clean-ing the house is just what the mom ordered. Lunch and dinner prepara-tion should be included along with bathing, feeding and dressing the children.

Basically don’t allow her to lift a fin-ger. Supply a good book or time for her to do what she wants. What mother wouldn’t want a day to recu-perate?

Star Treatment09

Pearl Dropsof Wisdom

-Be silent when others coward-ly speak; Speak when others are cowardly silent.

-Refrain when others foolishly give, Give when others fool-ishly refrain.

-Wise men see divinity in every face when, Fools see demons in every one.

-Wise men respond to attack with love in their hearts when, Fools react with fear and anger.

-Be not like fools who judges others, But be wise in judging thyself foremost.

-Seek not short-lived pleasures which cause thee to die as a mortal, But seek eternal values that thou may transform into an immortal.

-Be wise, live and act with soul purpose, Unlike fools who live and act carnally.

-Thoughts bring pain, thoughts bring pleasure, Transcend such ambiguity by transcending thoughts.

-Fools flee problems only to face them again, Be wise, face problems that thou may rise higher.

-Fools are slaves to Nature; Wise men are her handmaidens. W.Manigat

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A great idea would be give her a pen-dant with picture of her child/ren in it or a bracelet, ring or necklace with the birthstone/s of children or grandchildren.

Jewlery06

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18 Stylish!

5. What Makes Your Heart Sing?What really matters to you? What do you feel is your true purpose in life? If someone asked you that question, how would you answer them?

Why is it so important to be clear on what your life’s purpose is? Knowing your purpose, will give you a true sense of who you are and why you were put on this earth. It gives your life direction and helps you make clear and easy decisions concerning that direction. Itís your compass! Without a pur-pose, can your life be compared to a piece of driftwood; Floating endlessly in whichever direction the tide decides to take it and ending up on any beach with no will of its’ own?

When you live your life based on your purpose you are living in integrity with yourself and are in alignment of who you really are in all aspects of your life - body, mind and spirit. Take this time to focus on what really matters to you. Feel the true passions that exist in your heart and write them down.

6. What Are Your Vibes Saying About You?Are you familiar with the Law of Attraction? Maybe you have heard the expressions, ìWhat you think about, you bring aboutî or “The more attention you give to something, the more attention it will give to you.” When going through a divorce, your emotions can be compared to a roller coaster ride. Use this time to become reconnected to your inner awareness of who you are. Learn to sit still and quiet until you understand what emotions you are feeling. Realize that your feelings and sensations are okay, then learn to listen to what your mind and body are telling you.

7. Be True To YourselfDuring and even after a divorce, we are often filled with doubts. We ques-tion ourselves about what is right, what to do or how we feel. Should I or shouldn’t I? It seems difficult to make a decision. Listen to your heart. What feels right? What doesn’t feel quite right? If a situation does not feel right, honor your resistance by pausing or waiting. Sometimes waiting is the best thing to do. By waiting you may have allowed the situation to unfold more easily without having to worry! If a decision feels good or right, usually that means you are heading in the right direction. When we listen to our hearts, we are in integrity with ourselves. When we are in integrity with ourselves, we learn to say NO more easily.

Has this ever happened to you? You are asked to be on a committee or to volunteer for something and you say yes, even though you know it will make your schedule even tighter or you really don’t want to or have to?

How do you stop this from happening? Next time you are in this situation and you are ready to say yes, yet, find yourself having doubts, try this-STOP! Take a breath or even take a step back (this action will prevent you from say-ing yes). Pause! Thank the person for thinking of you, but let them know you will have to check your calendar and get back to them. When you do have time to think about it, focus on how you are feeling. Are you excited to vol-unteer or do you feel some resistance? If in a day or two you are still feeling doubtful, realize the timing might not be right for you. If you are still excited, join the committee and have fun!

Divorce is not easy or fun and you can make it through this time of your life by realizing you WILL make it! Also, honor yourself and listen to your heart! Your true purpose and passions are waiting to be rediscovered within you! When you have discovered the ìgold nuggetî you already are, you will start to live your life with more ease and enjoy the feeling of peace. “You are truly free!”

4. Enjoy the Little ThingsLife after divorce usually means added responsibilities. If you are a single parent or are now the one responsi-ble for the once shared to-do list, how do you handle it all without being totally stressed out? To start, learn to laugh more, especially at yourself. Learn to let things go and not take life so seriously. Lighten-up! Learn to live in the present moment. Living in the present is where all the “good stuff” in life happens. Yesterday’s worries are gone forever and tomorrow’s to-do list can wait. Think of it this way, when one is missing this mo-ment in time, one is missing out on one’s life.

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Urban Parenting May 2014 Issue

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Transcript of Urban Parenting May 2014 Issue