UN-

INGDOMESTIC

ABUSE

FACT:  ABUSE CAN COME IN MANY FORMS, SUCH AS SEXUAL, PHYSICAL, VERBAL, AND EMOTIONAL. WHEN A PERSON REPEATEDLY SCARES, HURTS, OR PUTS DOWN THE OTHER PERSON, IT IS ABUSE. IT INCLUDES HARASSMENT, INTIMIDATION, STALKING, FORCED ISOLATION, HUMILIATION, THREATS OF HARMING YOU, YOUR FAMILY, PETS OR THEMSELVES, INVASION OF PRIVACY, OR LIMITING FINANCIAL RESOURCES.

MYTH: If you are not physically injured, it is not abuse

FACT: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS ABOUT DOMINANCE AND CONTROL. MOST BATTERERS DO NOT HAVE ANGER MANAGEMENT PROBLEMS. FOR EXAMPLE, THEY DO NOT BEAT UP THEIR BOSS OR CO-WORKERS WHEN THEY ARE UPSET. MOST BATTERERS DO, HOWEVER, HAVE BELIEFS CONSISTENT WITH ENTITLEMENT.

ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASS IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE INTERVENTION FOR BATTERERS.

MYTH: Batterers are abusive because they cannot control themselves & have anger management issues.

MYTH: Abuse happens when a woman pushes a man’s buttons. Women are responsible, too.

FACT: NO ONE CAN MAKE ANYONE CHOOSE ABUSE OR VIOLENCE. VIOLENT EPISODES ARE NEVER RATIONAL OR REASONABLE. VIOLENCE IS A BEHAVIORAL CHOICE, MADE BY ONE PARTNER TO CONTROL THE OTHER. SOME PEOPLE MAY TRY TO FIGHT BACK OR DEFEND THEMSELVES, BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THEY ‘ARE AS BAD AS THE ABUSER.’

ABUSE INCLUDES INTIMIDATION, MANIPULATION, VERBAL, EMOTIONAL, MENTAL AND FINANCIAL ABUSE AND SOMETIMES SEXUAL ASSAULT. IT IS NOT AN INSTINCT OR REACTION.

FACT:  DOMESTIC ABUSE IS A PUBLIC MATTER BECAUSE IT’S A CRIME, JUST LIKE ASSAULTING A STRANGER IS A CRIME. EVERY YEAR, 1 IN 3 FEMALE HOMICIDE VICTIMS IS MURDERED BY HER CURRENT OR FORMER PARTNER.

IT’S A PUBLIC MATTER BECAUSE 1/2 OF ALL HOMELESS WOMEN AND CHILDREN IN THE U.S. ARE FLEEING FROM DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

IT’S A PUBLIC ISSUE BECAUSE EVERY YEAR, VICTIMS LOSE ALMOST 8 MILLION PAID WORK DAYS DUE TO ABUSE.

PEOPLE EXPERIENCING DOMESTIC ABUSE VERY RARELY EXAGGERATE; RATHER THEY MINIMIZE AND UNDER-REPORT THE EXTENT OF THE ABUSE.

MYTH: Domestic abuse is really a private matter. Every couple goes through things. They’ll work it out on their own.

FACT:  BATTERING HAPPENS IN DATING RELATIONSHIPS, TOO! LAST YEAR IN MICHIGAN, POLICE RESPONDED TO 21,500 CASES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WITH NON-RESIDENT COUPLES AND 11,120 EX-DATING COUPLES COMPARED TO 10,700 MARRIED COUPLES!

EX-SPOUSES MADE UP 2,280 CASES.

MYTH: Domestic abuse only happens to married or cohabitating couples

FACT:  FEMALES BETWEEN THE AGES OF 16 AND 24 ARE ROUGHLY 3 TIMES MORE LIKELY THAN THE REST OF THE POPULATION TO BE ABUSED BY AN INTIMATE PARTNER.ONLY 33% OF TEENS WHO WERE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP EVER TOLD ANYONE ABOUT THE ABUSE.

FACT: ANY WOMAN WHO CONSIDERS LEAVING HER ABUSER FACES RISKS. 65% OF BATTERED WOMEN WHO ARE KILLED ARE MURDERED BY THEIR ABUSERS WHEN—OR AFTER—THEY LEAVE.A VICTIM SHOULD DEVELOP A SAFETY PLAN BEFORE BREAKING UP WITH AN ABUSIVE PARTNER. THE BEST WAY TO SUPPORT IS TO GATHER RESOURCES, DOCUMENT WHAT YOU NOTICE, AFFIRM YOUR LOVED ONE, AND LET THEM KNOW YOU SUPPORT THEIR DECISIONS.

MYTH: It’s a good idea to try and convince a friend or relative to leave their abusive partner immediately.

FACT:  AT LEAST HALF OF THE CHILDREN OF BATTERED WOMEN ARE PHYSICALLY OR SEXUALLY ABUSED BY THEIR MOTHER'S ASSAILANT. 68% OF CHILDREN WITNESS THE ASSAULTS; MORE THAN 90 % KNOW ABOUT THE ASSAULTS.60% OF THE BOYS WHO WITNESS DOMESTIC ABUSE, BECOME BATTERERS.

MYTH: He’s a good dad so she should stay for the sake of the kids.

FACT:  EVERY YEAR IN THE U.S., ABOUT 3.2 MILLION MEN ARE VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC ABUSE. MEN CAN BE ABUSED BY WOMEN OR THEIR HOMOSEXUAL PARTNERS, BUT BEING ABUSED DOES NOT MEAN HE IS WEAK. ABUSED MEN OFTEN CHOOSE NOT USE THEIR SIZE OR STRENGTH TO HURT THEIR ABUSIVE PARTNERS.

WOMEN WHO ABUSE DO SO FOR THE SAME REASONS AS MEN, USING PHYSICAL, VERBAL, EMOTIONAL. OR FINANCIAL ABUSE, AS WELL AS MANIPULATION OR STALKING TO GAIN CONTROL.

MYTH: Men can’t be abused because women can’t really harm men?

FACT: ABUSERS DON’T LET GO EASILY. THEY OFTEN CHARM, PLEAD, PROMISE TO CHANGE OR STALK, THREATEN, KIDNAP OR HARM.

WOMEN ARE IN GREATER DANGER WHEN THEY ARE TRYING TO LEAVE. HOMICIDES OFTEN HAPPEN AFTER THE WOMAN HAS LEFT. 70% OF ALL VIOLENCE OCCURS AFTER THE WOMAN LEAVES.

MYTH: If she really wanted to, she would leave. There’s no point in helping because she’s just going to go back

FACT: LEAVING AN ABUSER CAN MEAN LEAVING A JOB, PETS OR BELONGINGS AND TAKING KIDS FROM THEIR DAD AND SCHOOL.

LACK OF ALTERNATIVE HOUSING OFTEN LEADS WOMEN TO STAY OR RETURN.

74% OF FEMALE VICTIMS STAYED WITH AN ABUSER FOR ECONOMIC REASONS.

MYTH: There’s nothing we can do to stop domestic abuse

FACT:  YOU JUST DID! YOUR DONATION HELPS PROVIDE SUPPORT FOR VICTIMS WHO CHOSE TO LEAVE ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS.

CONTINUE TO SUPPORT GREAT ORGANIZATIONS LIKE HOPELINE FROM VERIZON, HANDBAGS OF HOPE, AND THE YWCA.

PICK UP RESOURCES TO SHARE & VISIT WWW.APUREMOVEMENT.COM TO LEARN ABOUT RESOURCES FOR SURVIVORS