|| VOLUME ONE

|| VOLUME ONE

chapteroNE ! She was dying slowly and painfully, regardless of the way Regina denied it with a genuine smile. The sight of her on the hospital bed, surrounded by IV lines and oxygen tanks, and with absolutely no energy to even flip the television channel was absolutely heartbreaking. Two years ago, when the couple learned of the cancer cells that have already started to spread amongst Regina’s vocal cords, Emma made a promise to herself to stay positive for her wife, and during the first year, Regina was showing signs of improvement. The thing about sickness, though, is that when things get bad, a chain reaction begins, and the woman once known as the independent mayor quickly becomes a fragile soul hanging by the thinnest string. Emma knocked slowly on Regina’s door before walking in with her coffee cup. “You’re drinking too many coffees, love” the brunette mumbled, but Emma could still sense her wife’s concern. “They taste good, not as good as the one’s you make though.” she answered with a light chuckle, unaware of the sadness Regina felt till slightly after. She threw the coffee away immediately and sat her usual chair, positioned right next to the brunette’s bed. “Come closer,” she could hear the need in Regina’s voice and quickly fit herself between her and the bed control panel. She felt her wife’s lips ghost over her ear, barely making out her plea to be held. Complying, Emma wrapped an arm around Regina, eliminating any space between them, and gently placed a kiss on her dry lips. “You are forever the most beautiful woman I know, Regina. Even in an odd-shaded green oversized hospital gown.” Emma smiled brightly as the woman gazing at her cried softly. Emma kissed her head and hushed her, “you should get some sleep, honey, the doctor said to get some rest.” “Really, Emma, that’s all he says.” She could hear the brunette sigh as she tightened her embrace around her. Regina was skin and bones, it pained the blonde to be able to identify each bone location so easily just by holding her. “Stay tonight.” “Honey, you know I would never leave. I absolutely hate the mansion without you bossing me around.” Regina smiled against Emma’s neck; the blonde could feel a flutter in her stomach. “I meant,” the brunette clarified, “sleep next to me tonight. I know there isn’t much space, but that couch is so far away from me.” “If you’re comfortable-“ she was silenced by Regina’s cold hand on her cheek and sooner a light kiss. “Have you forgotten when we were redecorating the mansion and we had nothing but each other to sleep on? Not that I ever complained, I loved the proximity.” She coughed heavily. “No sexy talk, Regina, please. Keep it for when we’re out of here.” They gazed at each other knowing deep down that regardless of what they hope for, this was Regina’s last stop. It was a matter of weeks, but they hadn’t even addressed the topic. “Sleep,” the blonde insisted as she reached for the thick duvet to cover them both. “Kiss me,” Regina whispered as she settled back into an embrace, their foreheads meeting. The kiss was slow and passionate; Emma was surprised. It had been so long since their contact laster over five seconds, and the blonde couldn’t find it in her power the pull away. They smiled at each other, reminding one another of the love they each carried for the other, and fell asleep to the sounds of the steady heart rate monitor.

It was five hours into the warm slumber that Emma awoke at four am. She felt Regina shift lightly and rest her hand on Emma’s heart. The light touch became suddenly heavy and the brunette stopped moving. “Regina,” the blonde whispered, but her response came from the sound of the dead monitor. Quickly calling for help, she shook her wife with urgency, calling her name as the tears streamed down her cheeks. “Regina, we had more days. Regina, don’t leave me. What about Henry? Regina, don’t leave me. Regina.” She kept screaming the words as the doctors quickly took her wife to the emergency rooms, promising to do whatever it took to keep the former mayor alive. At five twenty seven am, half of Storybrooke patiently waited for Dr Whale in the waiting room, praying for good news and worrying for the savior. David had been able to reach Henry; he had been up studying for an exam the next day. Though the young man had said he would drive home from Boston, Emma was determined that Henry would sit the test and come visit his mother when she was better. At 6 am, Dr Whale walked out the ER and was surrounded by Mary Margret, David, and Ruby. He looked the at prince, hoping he would understand the situation and slowly lowered his head and whispered, “We did all we could.” Mary Margret had rushed to her daughter, gathering her in an embrace as her father delivered the news. Emma could hear sounds, not words, could see colors, but not people. All she could see and hear was Regina’s bed being pushed back into the room, her face covered with a white sheet. !

The world collapsed.

chapterTwo ! Under the preservation spell she learned from Mr. Gold, Emma kept Regina safely in a glass coffin in the mansion. Henry had driven back from Boston right after his exam expecting to find his mother stable in her hospital bed, but after hearing the news, he had asked to spend some time alone with his now deceased mother. They had emptied a room just for her and Henry insisted that the room overlooked her favorite apple tree. The room smelled like her, and with the enchantment, Regina looked healthier than he remembered. She was still skinnier and hollow-cheeked, but there was a hint of red in what used to be pale skin. Henry immediately regretted not telling her just how beautiful she was more often. He sat next to his mother, the light from the window growing dimmer as the sun set, and the silence taking over every thought rushing through his mind. “I’m mad at you,” he finally said, “I’m mad at you for leaving me. I’m also mad at Ma for not saving you.” His voice became weak, “But mostly, I’m mad at myself for not reminding you of how much I love you. I was such a horrible son.” He rose to his feet and rested his forearms on the glass his forehead over Regina’s face. He sobbed as he repeatedly whispered his apologies. When Emma walked in, the sight of her son asleep on the chair with his head rested against Regina’s glass coffin formed a silent sob in her throat. She had to be strong for her son, and right now, she had to be an adult and comfort him. “Henry,” she called softly and he woke instantly. She hurried to him, setting herself on the armrest and holding him close to her. She murmured words of comfort to him and reminded him that Regina was at peace now. She looked over his shoulder at her wife’s face; she died with a feathered smile on her lips. “Ma,” he asked quietly after his second round of tears, “I think I’d like more time before the funeral. I mean, before people start coming to visit and pay their respects and before we move her to the mausoleum.” Knowing her son, Emma could tell he was going to spend the time trying to find some sort of reversing spell to bring his mother back or a teleportation spell to warn his past self of future events, but the blonde knew better. She looked at her son and said, “Henry, if it’s because you need more time with her, that’s fine, but death cannot be undone by magic.” His answer was quick, “you don’t know that.” “Honey, I do. Don’t you think mom would’ve brought back Daniel if such a spell existed?” Henry stood up and looked his mother in the eye, obvious rage bouncing in his own, “Why won’t you even try, Ma? Look at her!” he yelled before his tears ran down his cheeks again, “Look at her and tell me you wouldn’t at least let me try. I feel it in my guts, Ma, and for the last god knows how many years, my guts got you here and got us all through everything. I need you to trust me.” Emma looked over at her wife then back at her son, “Henry,” she stood to embrace him before he stepped back, “I trust you, of course I trust you, I just don’t want you getting hurt, kid. Hope is great to have, it’s a Charming trait,” she stressed the sarcasm on the mention of her family name, “but sometimes, you’ve got to know when to stop.” “Then help me, Ma, and tell me when to stop.” He hugged his mother hoping she’d agree to his plan and couldn’t help smiling when he heard a hushed, “okay.” Emma had asked Mary Margret, Mr Gold, and Mother Superior to meet her at Regina’s mayoral office a couple of days later; she had promised to tell Henry all that would happen when she came back. Henry didn’t negotiate much, the young man was too tired to argue.

Emma sat in Regina’s leather chair, her palms pressed against the mahogany desk. Leave it to Regina to over organize absolutely everything; Emma had once joked about Regina using a ruler to place her pens equally apart. The blonde took a moment to sit back and breathe. Fact: Regina, mayor of Storybrooke, mother of her child, and owner of her heart was gone. Yes, the corpse was still at home, but it was a hollow group of cells. Keeping her under the preservation spell was initially her own idea, but Emma started to wonder if keeping Regina at home was actually a good plan. Why couldn’t she just bury her? Regina wouldn’t have wanted to be kept as a constant remembrance of pain; she wouldn’t have wanted her family to go through what she had gone through. For a second, Emma felt like she was the world’s most horrible mother, leaving Henry with Regina alone. She pulled out her cellphone to call her son only to find that she had forgotten to charge it. Emma then remembered that her wife always kept an extra charger for her at her office in the second desk drawer. Emma smiled at the gesture; Regina’s love went down to the details. After plugging in her phone, Emma returned to the desk to close the drawer only to find a turquoise envelope with her name written on it in perfect handwriting. The date signed was the night before Regina was admitted to the hospital a month ago, the night Regina insisted on spending her last night as mayor at the office. Ever since David took over, he promised the Regina’s office would stay hers and that he would just work from the station until his extension was built. Emma ran her finger tips over the loops of her name, feeling the indentation left by the pen’s run. She let out a sigh before completely giving in to reading it.

Dearest Emma; If you’re reading this, you’ve probably forgotten to charge your phone last night… Again. As for why you’re using the charger at the office, that would probably go back to the fact that by the time you read this, I would be dead. (That was meant to be funny, don’t you pout, Mrs Swan Mills) Tomorrow I’m being admitted to the hospital, and we both know the likeliness of my return is quite thin. I’m writing this knowing that I’m coming home to you and to Henry in an hour, and I find it hard to imagine not having you both to return to. I find it hard to even write down a proper farewell, so please excuse my horribly constructed letter. Emma, my love, know that I love you with every cell in my body, every grain of sand on the planet, every star in the galaxy, and every solar system in the universe. (yes, I have read Henry’s Star Wars’ comics) To many, I was married to the Savior, the White Knight, and the Fairest of them all, but, darling, to me, I was married to Emma, the mother of my child and the lumberjack who tried to cut down my tree. You came to me with all the flaws that you thought would push me away, and I fell in love with every imperfection, every little quirk. I fell in love with your eyes when they were bright with happiness, dimmed with sadness, and black with lust (those were my favorite, in all honesty) I fell in love with your smile, every curve your lips formed, and the smile I felt on my lips. I fell in love with your voice, how it rose when we argued, how it hushed when you soothed me, how it rang when you laughed, how it cracked when you were emotional, and how it husked when we… You know. I fell in love with your mind, how innocent it was for someone who had seen so much, how wise it was at my time of need, and how intelligent it was. I fell in love with your heart and how pure it was. Mostly, how it carried so much reason to push me out yet had space so warm I could call it home. Darling, I know you are in pain, and I know the hurt is the worst you have felt in a long time. I know it is also unfair of me to ask you to be strong, but Emma please, be strong for our son. Show him that true love is eternal, how a loss could slowly turn into something positive. Remind him that I will always love him and that I will always be listening if he needed to talk to me. Encourage his studies and push him to be the great man we both knew he would always be. Emma, please, do not blame yourself for this. Do not give up on life, and do not give up on happiness. I will not insist that you love again, but laugh again, and smile again. Know that a part of me will always be alive with you. Thank you for showing me what love actually is, what passion really feels like. Emma Swan Mills, you are the love of my life, always have been, always will be. I’m so sorry for how tragically our fairytale has to end. I am so sorry. Forever yours, Regina

chapterThree !“You’re wrong about one thing, dearie.” Emma looked up at Henry’s grandfather, Mr. Gold. Over the past years, he has changed completely, becoming the grandfather Henry always wished he had. Sure, David was a great grandfather, but it was Mr. Gold who shared his interests. Emma and Regina had him and Belle over for dinner almost once a week, and the former enemy quickly became one of the closest family members. With the passing of Regina, he was the only one who could get through to Henry, the only one who could comfort him; Emma trusted the guy with her life. “What am I wrong about, Rumple?” the blonde questioned, “Death cannot be undone by magic, right? Otherwise, Regina and Daniel would’ve been together.” Mr. Gold looked at Mary Margret and Mother Superior as if asking permission to share his knowledge. Emma noticed Mary Margret’s slight shake of the head, her eyes widening, “It can?” “Emma, Regina did know a spell to bring back someone loved.” Mary Margret spoke up as she reached out for her daughter’s hand. “Regina probably didn’t share it with you because she was aware of how far you’d go for her, and the price of this spell was a price even she couldn’t pay for the one she loved most, at the time,” the fairy explained to the blonde, her tone warning. Emma turned to Mr. Gold, her eyes practically begging him for an answer. “Ms Swan, the price of this spell- I cannot say it makes anything better in your case. In Henry’s, though,” he looked up at the concerned women then back to the blonde, “It brings back his mother.” “What’s the price, Rumple. As Henry’s grandfather, you know that boy needs his mother.” “And Henry has a mother, Emma.” Mary Margret interrupted. She quickly added, “Honey, you know how much we’ve all grown to love Regina and how saddened we are by her departure, but Henry will be alright with time. If you give your life for hers, Henry will still only have one mother.” “No,” the blonde spoke back, “Regina is different, mom, and you know that. Henry will be able to survive without me, but Regina… It’s impossible.” “Mrs Charming, Emma will not have to give up her life literally. Henry will have both his mothers,” he directed his gaze to Emma, “the idea of giving up a life can be understood in many ways, Ms Swan. The price of the spell does indeed require the caster to give up their life, but that could be another way of say it requires a shift.” He stayed quiet as he watched the blonde digest his words then continued, “If you were to cast this spell and it did work, Regina will come back with full and updated memories of everyone in town, except for you. She will know of you, meaning, she will know Henry is adopted, but she will not remember your name or your appearance.” “She could remind her then, right? Surely, it will take time, but-“ the fairy’s words died as she saw Mary Margret’s saddened face. “She will not be able to remind her of anything. Emma will have to give up her life in Storybrooke altogether if Regina were to be brought back. The price of the spell is never being able to live or to exist in the life of the one you love. That’s why Regina never brought back Daniel,” Mary Margret explained to her daughter. She could see the conflict in the blonde’s green eyes but, overall, she could se pain. “This sounds more like a curse rather than a spell, Gold.” she tried to sound light hearted, but the three knew how much Emma was suffering to make the right decision.

“It is, Ms Swan. Of course, every curse can be broken, but in this case, though possible, the odds are very unlikely. To break this curse, Regina must find you without any external interference.” “And, of course, Regina can’t go finding someone she doesn’t even know.” She blew out the air in her lungs, standing up and walking up and down the office, trying to clear her mind. The three followed her with their eyes, staying quiet mostly because they didn’t know what to say. “Emma, why don’t you discuss it with Henry?” Mary Margret suggested. “And put him in a situation where he has to pick a mother over the other? Of course not.” Emma’s stress was getting the best of her, but she couldn’t contain her anger at the station. “May I remind you, dearie, that Henry and you will not lose your relationship if you were to go through with this. He would still be able to see you; he does study in Boston, why not move there?” At that thought, Emma walked to Mr. Gold’s side beaming with tears forming at her eye tips. “Do you think it would work, Rumple?” Henry’s grandfather stood up, leaning on his cane, and smiling warmly at the fatigued blonde. “I’m positive, Emma. If you are ready to pay the price of never seeing Regina again-“ “I’d know she would be alive for Henry, that’s… That’s good enough for me.” The blonde looked back at her mother; she knew leaving Storybrooke would hurt her and her father, and she was worried Mary Margret would not support her decision. To her surprise, Snow White looked up at her daughter and smiled for supportively saying, “I would have done the same, Emma. And I have a very good feeling Regina will find you. True love always finds its way.” The blonde looked back at Mr. Gold, confirming her decision. “Tomorrow, we’ll gather the people of Storybrooke and explain the situation. We’ll have to get rid of any evidence of my existence and make sure everyone understands that they cannot mention me around Regina. When will you be able to prepare the spell, Mr. Gold?” “Right away, Ms Swan, but I suggest we hurry, the closer the time of death, the better.” “Let’s say tomorrow evening? I’ll meet you at the pawn shop.” After walking her guests to the door, Emma turned back the office desk then fished out the letter from her pocket. She brought it to her lips once again and whispered,

“I am so sorry.”

chapterFOUR ! To say the town was supportive was an understatement. After holding the town meeting, everyone rushed out and started helping getting rid of evidence. “Who ever thought the town would actually do anything to bring Regina back?” David asked, chuckling lightly to his wife. “They love Emma, David, and they would do just about anything to help her. Plus, Regina did grow on them; she’s good.” “Do you think we’ll ever see Emma again?” Mary Margret could see the concern in her husband’s eyes; he knew Emma had to do it but still wished she wouldn’t. “In good time, we will, love. We just have to trust that Regina’s love for her wife would guide her back to Emma,” she smiled confidently, “now, we should go to the mansion; she’ll probably need help moving Regina.” After a long day of ridding the house of their photos together, her belongings, and even the scraps of paper she scribbled on, the house almost looked like it had when Emma first came to Storybrooke. After loading the last box of clothing into her beetle, Emma returned to bedroom she shared with Regina; Mary Margret and David already waiting there. Regina was delicately moved back into her bed, and her medication was put on her side table. “Now, it’s very important that you all remember that to Regina I do not exist, alright? When she wakes up, she’ll still be the Regina you all grew to like.” “What about the cancer, Emma?” David asked as he studied Regina, “will she still be sick?” “She’ll be recovering,” she gave in to a teary smile s she stroked Regina’s cold forehead. “The tumor would be gone, she’ll just have to keep up with basic medication for a while and she’ll be back on her feet.” Emma was embraced by her mother before she admitted, “it hurts everywhere.” “I know, honey, but keep the faith. She will find you.” “What will you do in Boston?” David’s fatherly concern was understandable. “I’ll find a job, maybe go back to my old job organizing art exhibitions. Henry and I will live separately just to be safe, but we’d spend the day together.” Just on cue, Henry walked into the room, smiling from ear to ear, “Mr. Gold just called; he’s ready.” “Alright, sweetie, why don't we give your mother some time with Regina? Emma, we’ll be downstairs.” The blonde nodded and returned to Regina’s side. She held her cold hand between her own two, bringing them to her lips. “I wish I could leave you a letter to make you feel all crappy and full of love like you did. Damn it, Regina, why does it have to be so difficult?” She stroked her wife’s palm lightly, taking in every cell and burning it in her memory. She stood up to kiss her wife’s lips for the last time and whispered, “Please don’t find another love when I’m away.” Emma kissed Henry’s head, reminding him that she would see him soon. “Kid, remember, when your mother wakes up, text me and let me know she’s okay. Mary Margret, David, and Mr. Gold are no longer your grandparents, at least when Regina’s around.” “Alright, alright, I’ll also eat my vegetables and do my homework,” he chuckled lightly before hugging Emma tightly. “Thank you so much, Ma. Thank you.” Emma carried her heavy heart to the pawn shop where she greeted Mr. Gold, Belle, and Ruby. Henry’s grandfather helped the blonde through the steps, finally saying, “alright, Ms Swan, in this bottle is the last ingredient you need to add; True love, created out of a combination of both your DNA.

When you add this, think of Regina, think of bringing her back. Your magical energy will spread through the town in combination with the ingredients in this cauldron.” Emma took one last look at her friends and family, closed her eyes, and poured in the last vile. Emma felt a freezing sensation spread through her body followed by a warmth. She opened her eyes to see that she was surrounded with turquoise smoke. Breathing it in, the blonde could smell a hint of spice and apples. Emma whispered Regina’s name one last time before she felt a magical surge in her body. In seconds, the smoke was gone and the blonde collapsed on the ground. In the background, she could hear Mr. Gold assuring her parents that she was alright just magically drained. His magic restored some of her energy, enough to help her get off the ground and slouch on the closest chair. “Now what?” Ruby asked Emma, “All that smoke and white magic worked, right? Are you leaving now?” “Hold on, Henry has to send us a message first,” David reminded his daughter, “If it didn’t work, you are not leaving.” “Would anyone like some tea while we wait?” Belle chimed in, her smile lifting everyone’s spirits. Emma’s phone buzzed with a notification and the room went silent. Emma pulled out her phone, taking a deep breath before reading the message. “It’s from Henry,” the blonde’s tears escaped her eyes as she brought the phone to her forehead. “What does it say?” Mary Margret was anxious to know, but something about Emma’s tears held bad news. Belle slowly walked to the blonde, crouching next to her, and reaching for the mobile. She read out the words slowly,

“She’s alive.”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will love you Unconditionally