Unbiased News: The News You Want

8/14/2019 Unbiased News: The News You Want

1/3

Unbiased News: The News You Want

By John F. McGowan

Version: 1.0Start Date: July 22, 2009

Last Updated: July 22, 2009Home URL: http://www.jmcgowan.com/unbiased.pdf

Announcing the ultimate Internet news aggregator Unbiased News:The News You Want

The Problem

Are you a conservative outraged by Bill OReillys endorsement ofglobal warming?

Are you a liberal shocked by the New York Times blatantly pro-warcoverage of the illegal US occupation of Iraq and Afghanistan?

Are you a scientific rationalist appalled by the medias sensationalistcoverage of UFOs and other pseudo-scientific nonsense?

Are you a ufologist frustrated by the corporate mainstream medias

perpetual ridicule of UFOs and uncritical repetition of whatevernonsense the CIA and Air Force say?

Are you an investment banker tired of being vilified and demonized byjust about everyone just because that communist civil servant AlanGreenspan forced Wall Street to lose $8 Trillion speculating in housing?

The Cause

The simple fact is everyone else suffers from bias. Only you haveachieved the state of pure objective rational thought, seeing the world

as it truly is. Yes, the Internet now enables you to get your news fromenlightened web sites that are almost unbiased and usually speaktruth to power. But even your fellow conservatives, liberals,libertarians, socialists, and so forth will unfortunately report biasedand inaccurate news that you dont want to hear.

John F. McGowan Page 1 July 22, 2009


2/3


The Solution

Unbiased News: The News You Want is a new web site and RSS feedthat gives you only the unbiased news that you need. Simply sign upfor our free service and take our quick What Unbiased Means To Me

survey. Using state of the art data mining, search, and semanticprocessing algorithms, Unbiased News will ensure that you onlyreceive the unbiased news that you want to hear.

Wait! There is More!

As a member of the Unbiased News community, you can choose our IAm Specialoption to receive news and opinion articles that confirmyour membership in a special unique group unjustly persecuted for itsspecial unique virtues. For conservatives, our state of the artalgorithms can select and provide a never ending stream of articles onthe relentless persecution of white male conservatives by the NAACP,ACLU, and other liberal hate groups. For liberals, our unbiased newsselection engine will provide retrospective articles on the McCarthy erawhich will describe the victims of McCarthyism as apolitical averageAmericans, liberals, socialists, or communists depending on how farleft you are. For Jews, the engine will select retrospective articles onthe Holocaust, tsarist pogroms, and the Jewish War. For Palestinians,the engine can select heartbreaking stories of Israeli atrocities in theoccupied West Bank. For scientific rationalists, the engine will selectstories about the trial of Galileo and the Scopes trial. Whoever you are

Unbiased News will confirm how special you are, how much your grouphas suffered, and how much the ungrateful world owes you.

Wait! There is Still More!

As a member of the Unbiased News community you can also select ourTotal Ridicule option to receive articles ridiculing anyone who disagreeswith you. Our news selection engine will select articles that thoroughlyridicule and debunk the actual position of the other guys, not theirphony codedmessage but what you (and we) know they really mean,

the utterly absurd position they really have that no sane rationalperson would hold for five seconds. Yes, Unbiased News selects theunbiased objective articles and op-eds that cut through the code wordsand ridicule the real position.



3/3


Call To Action

Sign up now for Unbiased News: The News You Want and startreceiving the objective unbiased news that you want to hear today!

2009 John F. McGowan


Unbiased News: The News You Want

Documents

Transcript of Unbiased News: The News You Want