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Transcript of Unbeatable-Mind-2.0-Edition
Second Edition, 2014
© 2011–2014 Mark D. Divine www.unbeatablemind.com
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may
be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written
permission from the author/publisher. Copyright © 2014 Authored By Mark Divine All rights reserved.
ContentsIntroduction:ThisIsUnbeatableMind
TheEarlyYears MortalityKnocks TheEducationYears TheMentorAppears Teams'n'Shit YogaJitsu TheUnbeatableMindRoadMap Illustration:UnbeatableMindFramework
ChapterOne:FirstPremise
FirstWininYourMind WitnessProcess FishBowlGuidedVisualization FeedingtheWolf StarvingFear,FeedingCourage TheUnfetteredMind
ChapterTwo:TwoMetaDisciplines
Self‐MasteryDisciplines TheFiveMountains Illustration:FiveMountainsofSelfMastery Self‐Mastery’sSub‐disciplines ServiceDisciplines
ChapterThree:ThreeSecretsofMentalToughness
ThePowerofChoice UnderstandingStress Double‐BarrelPower:Breathing,andConcentration Illustration:BoxBreathing EmotionalResiliency Illustration:BigFourofEmotionalResiliency
ChapterFour:FourElementsofAwareness
ClearingYourBOO AligningwithUniversalBeliefs
OneThingandThreePs Three‐SphereAwareness Illustration:ThreeSpheres SheepdogStrong DogTraining
ChapterFive:FiveCriticalMentalToughnessSkillsforLeaders
TraintheZooKeeper ShortcuttheGladwellEffect UseMentalModels KISSPlanning SMART‐FITSGoalSetting Illustration:F.I.T.S. SMEACandPROP Illustration:P.R.O.P. OODALoop Illustration:OODALoop VisualizeSuccess BeaMoraleOfficer Illustration:TheBigFourofMentalToughness
ChapterSix:SixPowerVirtuesforCharacterExcellence
TrustworthinessandLoyalty HonorableIntegrity FollowToLead ResponsibilityandAccountability TheOnlyEasyDayWasYesterday FailureIsNotanOption TheNavySEALEthos TheSEALCode
ChapterSeven:Seven"ToughTeam"Tools
FunctionalTeamTraining MindGamesandChallenges PromoteFailureandRiskTaking ThereIsNoIinTeam GetReal UseStandardOperatingProcedures KeepItSimple,Again
ChapterEight:EightTraitsofMastery
Single‐PointFocus UncommonResolve PositivelyOffensiveAttitude Discerning ExcelinChaos EmbracetheSuck Humility KokoroSpirit
ChapterNine:Integration
IntegralTheory TheFivePlateausofConsciousness
Afterword
OneDay,OneLife TenSecretstoSuccess
TheBodyIstheFeelerofEmotionsandSensations
TheMindIstheThinkerofThoughts
TheWitnessIstheObserverofAll
—SenseiShanePhelps
Introduction:ThisIsUnbeatableMind
Whenamanisbeaten,tormentedanddefeated…Heisreadytolearnsomething.
—Emerson
BasedonmydiscussionswiththousandsofmySEALFITandUnbeatable
Mindtrainees,Ihavenoticedthatnomatterhowsuccessfultheyare,
theyfeelincompleteandthattheyhavemoretogive.Buttheyarestuck.
Sometimesanexistentialthreat,suchascancer,joltsthemoutoftherut
andtoahigherlevelofthinkingandacting.Butmytraineesdon'twantto
waitforanexistentialcrisistofindtheirfullpowerandtomakea
differenceintheworld.Ibetyoufeelthesameway.Thegoodnewsis
thatyounowhaveatoolinyourhandsthatwillhelpsolvethispuzzling
aspectofthehumanexperience.
The"bigidea"ofthisbookisthatyouarecapableofsomuchmore
thanyouthinkyouare,butyouhavebeenkeptinthedarkaboutthis
potentialyourentirelife.Icallthispotentialyour20XFactor,inthat
youarecapableofatleasttwentytimeswhatyourcurrentparadigm
allowsyoutobelieve.Itisnotasthoughyourfamilyorourculture
purposelykeptyouinthedarkaboutthisimportantfact.No,theywere
ignorantaboutitaswellandcan'tbeheldtoblame.Wecannotignore
thisunbelievabletruthanylonger.Notonlydoyoudeservetotapyour
fullpotentialforyourownsuccessandhappiness,butourcollective
mindsareneededtosyncuplikeaglobalcrowdsourcednetworkof
solutionfinderstopullusoutofthemesswehavecreated.Thisbook
isn'taboutthosemesses,though—thereareplentyofauthorswriting
abouttheperilswefaceonourabusedplanet.No,thisbookisabout
howyoucanbegintotapintothatvastpotentiallyingdormantinsideof
you—sothatyoucanachieveyourfullestexpressionofyourself,help
thosearoundyou,andsendpositiveripplesthroughouttheworld.
Einsteinsaidthatyoucan'tsolveaproblemfromthesame
paradigmthatcausedit.UnbeatableMindoffersanewparadigmofhow
touseyourmindasawholemindtoelevateyourselftowhatIcall“fifth
plateauconsciousness”byintegratingyourfivekeylinesofhuman
development,whichIcallthe“fivemountains.”Theyareyourphysical,
emotional,mental,intuitional,andspiritualintelligences.Itisalsoabout
learninghowtoavoidmentaltraps,developingnewmodelsofthinking
thatarepositiveandsupercharged,andworkingfromthe"we"
perspectiveratherthanyournarrow"I"perspective.Whenwecanall
accomplishthis,evenonasmallscale,Ibelievewewillensureour
children'sfuture.ThustheUnbeatableMindphilosophyandtrainingis
aboutdevelopingyourpersonalpowerfullysoyoucanbemore
successfulinyourjob,career,andlifeandthenuseyourgrowingpower
tohelpguideyourtribes,organizations,andthehumanracetoabetter
place.Soundslofty,right?Ifyouareonboardwiththisvision,thenlet's
getbusylearninghowtodevelopanUnbeatableMind!
TheEarlyYears
Letmebackupnowandgiveyouan ideaofwhere I came from
andhowIgothere.MyupbringinginUpstateNewYorkwassimpleand
groundinginmanyways.Wide‐openfarmcountryandsixmillionacres
ofAdirondackPark,withafewsmalltownsdottedhereandthere,gave
mealotofroomtoroam.Upstate,aswecallit,covers95percentofthe
realestateofNewYork—theother5percentissqueezedintotheNew
York Metro area. Aside from the occasional cow crossing the road or
drunkdriverpeelingoutofthelocalwateringhole,therewasn'tawhole
lotgoingonUpstate.
Inmyearlychildhood,Ilearnedtofindsolaceinthesilenceof
nature.Andgrowingupinthemountainsandvalleys,allIhadtodowas
stepoutdoorstofindit.Myfather'sconstantneedtotinker,hislovefor
thetrails,combinedwithmymother'sathleticism,keptusoutdoors.
TwiceaweekduringthesummerIwouldfindmyselfnavigatingthe
Adirondackpeakswithmydadandbrother,Brad.Ilovedthese
expeditionsthatarousedasenseofaweforthenaturalbeautyand
excitementofalwaysfindingsomethingnewaroundthenextcorner.
InawayIchoseMotherNatureasabestfriendbecauseofthese
experiencesandforlackofmanyothersuitableoptions.Ibecamevery
comfortablewithsilence,whichprovedtobeanimportantthemeinmy
life,unbeknownsttomeatthetime.Naturewasatrustworthyandloyal
friendwhoIdidn'targuewithandwhodidn'tdemandmuchfromme,as
longasIrespectedher.OftenIwouldjustsitinabsorption,notthinking
orstrivingforanythinginparticular,andallowthepeacetosettlein.
Onthehomefront,thingswereloudandoftenconfusing,andfor
reasonsIdidnotunderstandatthetime,Iwasshutdownandunsettled,
asiflockedinanemotionalprison.IcravedtheconnectionthatIfeltso
keenlywhenaloneinnature,butIhadnoluckfindingitinrelationships.
SoIkeptturningtomyfriendshipwithnature,anditwasthatmentor
relationshipthatpreparedmemostforwhatwastobemyfutureasa
warrior.Butbeforeanyofthat,Ihadtowakeup.
MortalityKnocks
"Sitdown,Mark."Thedoctorlookedwaytooserious.Iwasinthe
hospitalforaherniaoperation.AweekearlierIhadtriedtoimpressmy
dadbyliftingamassivelogontoasplitter.Egowasdrivingtheshow,and
asIhoistedthemonster,mystomachpoppedthroughmygroin.The
surgerywasnoproblem,andIwasupandreadytorollaftertwodays.At
seventeenIwasn'ttobediscouragedbyaminorsetbacklikethis.
MyparentsandIsettledinandwaitedforthenews.Ihadallbut
forgottenabouttheotherissueIhadnotifiedthedocaboutbeforegoing
undertheanestheticfog.Heclearedhisthroatandbegan,"Wetooka
lookatthegrowthonyourleg,Mark."Hissternlookchilledmyspine."It
ismelanomacancer…doyouknowwhatthatis?"Itriedtofindamental
footholdasIshiftedfromexpectinggoodnewstothesemoresinister
words."Weneedtoschedulesurgeryrightnowtoremovethelymph
nodesinyourlegs.Thiswillpreventthecancerfromspreading."
Whatthehell?Ithought.Mymomanddadnoddedinconcurrence,
butIsatquietly,takingitin.Mymindseemedtodissolveintoastateof
shockandpresence.Everythingseemedbrighter,andIfeltarushoflife‐
forcethatIalsofeltwhenabsorbedinnature.The"I"ofmeleftfora
moment,asifIwereinsuspendedanimation.Thiswasmyfirstaltered
stateexperience,anditfeltliketenminutes,butitmusthaveonlybeena
fewmoments,beforemyrationalmindclickedbackin.Whatdoesthis
mean?Isitreal?Iamtooyoungtodie.Inspiteofthestitchesinmygroin,I
feelprettydarngood.Wouldn'tIknowitifIhadcancerriddlingmybody?
MyinnervoicetoldmethatIwouldhaveknownandthateverythingwas
fine…butwhattheheckdidaseventeen‐year‐oldkidknowabout
intuition?
Thedocexplainedthatiftheoperationwassuccessfuland
followedbythenormalradiationandchemo,Ihadachanceat
eradicatingthecancer.Icouldleadanormallifewithonemajor
exception:Iwouldneverbeanathleteagain.Thelymphnoderemoval
wouldresultin"fattylegsyndrome"duetotheabsenceofthecleansing
workofthelymphnodes.Hedidn'ttellmewhathetoldmyfolks…that
hisprognosiswasthatIhadsixmonthstolive.
Strangehowthingscanbecruisingalongswimminglyone
moment,andthenthenextmoment,boom:youhavecanceroratree
fallsonyou.Beingignoranttothegravityofthesituationwasablessing
indisguise.
Thedoclefttheroom,andIlookedatmyparents,whoseemedin
moreshockthanme.
"Idon'tbelieveit,"Isaid."Idon'tbelievethisishappening,andI
don'tbelievethedoctor…shouldn'twegetmoreopinions?"Myparents,to
theirgreatcredit,agreedandinformedthehospitalthatIdeclinedthe
surgeryandcancertreatment,pendingfurtherresearch.
AsIattemptedtoreturntomylife,Iwassoonhitbyafloodof
sympatheticpeople,manyofwhomIbarelyknew.ApparentlyIwasthe
onlyonekeptinthedarkaboutthesixmonthstolivepart.Awkwardto
findoutthatway.Ikeptmyfocusonhealthandinsistedonattending
summerswimcampafewweekslater.Itfeltgreattogetbacktomy
trainingandtakemymindoffthings.Swimcamphelpedmeclearmy
head,andwhenIleft,Iwasfeelingmuchbetter.Thewholeepisode
seemedlikeamistake,andtwomonthslaterIgotword.Threeresearch
hospitalslookedatthebiopsy,andthescorewas:
Cancer:0
Notcancer:2
Uncertain:1
Thatreportputanendtothisstrangeepisodeofmylife.However,
itimpactedmedeeplyforafewreasons.First,itshowedmehow
preciouslifeisandhowquicklyitcancometoanend.Muchtomy
dismay,theillusionofyouthfulimmortalitywasgone—soIhadbetter
makethemostoutofeachday.Second,Ilearnedthatprofessionalsare
limitedandpronetoerror,justlikeeveryoneelse.Itisimportantto
questionauthorityandgetmultipleperspectivesonimportantissues—
thenmakeupyourownmind.Third,itshowedmethatmyparentswere
notinfallible,andthoughtheyhadmybestinterestsatheart,Iwould
needtochartmyownpaththroughlife.Finally,ittaughtmetolistento
thatlittlevoicedeepinsideofme,theonethatwhispered"no"whenI
heardthewordcancer.Ilearnedtoappreciateintuition,eventhoughI
hadnoideahowtotapintoityetfordeeperlevelsofinsight.
TheEducationYears
During my high school years, my siblings all got shunted off to
boarding school, butmymomdecided tokeepmeathome.Her logical
reasoning was that I was smart enough to get into a good college
without that fancyprepschool finish.The truthwas that Iwas justan
easy kid to have at home, and I added color and comfort to the home
front.SothereIsatatthepublichighschool,whereImadeletteringin
sports a pastime. Though I enjoyed the team sports, I was drawn to
endurance training for themental challenge and the simplicity. Endless
laps in the pool and running track were predominantly mental
endeavors. Through these sports I learned the importance of proper
breathingandmentalmanagement.Myswimtimesearnedmeasloton
theColgateUniversityteam,andoffIwentin1981.
Colgate is a considered a "lower Ivy League" school that prides
itself on academic rigor and football, neither of which I majored in. I
settledoneconomics,thinkingthat itwouldhelpwhenI landedbackat
DivineBrothers, Inc.,a legacy familybusiness inmanufacturingstarted
in1898.IquicklybecameasolidBstudentat"theGate"asotherpursuits
capturedmytimeandinterests.Socially,myworldburstwideopenasI
beganmyloveaffairwithbeerandwomen,inthatorder.IfeltasifIhad
beenacave‐dwellingasceticinamountainhamletwhohadfinallysnuck
awaytotastethehedonisticrealworld…mybrainexplodedwiththenew
experiences.
After a semester of craziness, I knew I needed to groundmyself
againor Iwoulddrown, so I reverted towhat I knewbest:natureand
sports.Therigorofmydailyschedulekeptmefocusedandlessproneto
participateinthenonstopparty:
6–6:30am:Wakeandrunthreemilestotheboathouse
6:30–7:30am:Rowcrewforagut‐bustinghour.
7:30–8:00:Runthreemilesbacktothefraternityforbreakfast
9:00–11:30:Classes
11:30–13:00:Hitthegymtoliftweights
13:30–15:30:Classes
15:45–18:00:Swimpractice—uptofivethousandmeters
18:30–19:50:Rowthedreadedergometer
20:00:Dinner
Dinneratthefrathousewouldbefollowedbyatriptothelibrary,
where Iwould end up facedown in drool, snoring like a big dog. Upon
finishingmy"studies,"Iwouldheadtothepubtoscanforgirlsandbein
bedbyeleveno'clock—dependingontheresultsofthepubvisit.
OK,Iadmitthoseweregreattimes,andIhavesomegreatfriends
fromthatera.However,IhadnoideawhatIwantedtodowhenIgrew
up besides the family business, which was my default. As senior year
groundtoaclose,though,Ifoundmyselfwithauniquejobofferfroma
Big 8 CPA firm in Manhattan. The firm, Coopers & Lybrand (now
PricewaterhouseCoopers), somehow thought it a good idea to sponsor
me to attend NYU Stern School of Business as part of a work‐study
program.Iwouldworkasanauditorfortwoyears,duringwhichtimeI
would get amaster's and pass the CPA exam. Sowithin fiveweeks of
graduatingColgate,IfoundmyselfbackinsummerschoolatNYU.Class
washeldMonday toThursday,and thenFridayswerespentatCoopers
with the other students. It was not too complicated, and I picked up
auditing quickly. For a few months, the newness of the challenge
motivatedme,butitwasn't longbeforeIdreadedthemonotonyof"the
"realworld."WasthisreallywhatIwasgoingtodofortherestofmylife?
Completelyonmyownnow,desperationovercamemeastheeducational
billspiledupandmyoptionsdwindled.Itwasn'tlongbeforeIstartedto
questionwhetherIhadmadeahugemistake.
TheMentorAppears
Walking home from the subway one evening, I heard spirited
shoutsexplodingfromasecond‐floorwindow.Lookingup,Inotedaflag
stating"SEIDOKarate,WorldHeadquarters."Interesting.Soundslikethey
arewhippingupastormupthere,Ithought.Icouldn'tresist,soIclimbed
thestairsandmetthemanwhowouldbecomemyfirstmentor,whoheld
thekeytounlockthedoortomyownUnbeatableMind.
Kaicho(Grandmaster)TadashiNakamurafoundedSeidoKaratein
theseventies.HewasbroughttotheUnitedStatesbytheKyokushinkai
founder, Mas Oyama, to head up the training. After a few years,
Nakamurabecamedisenchantedwith the tournament fighting focusof
thatstyle,desiringtoteachkarateincombinationwithZentrainingtoa
broader base. He believed that the inner development of the warrior
mustparalleltheouterdevelopmentortheartcouldbeusedimproperly.
In essence he felt that self‐mastery was equally important as fighting
prowess. The fighting strategies, tactics, techniques, and physical
conditioning were methods of the outer training, while meditation,
contemplation, and silence were the methods of the inner warrior
development.Incidentally,mostmodernmartialartshavelostthissubtle
artofwarriordevelopment,aiminginsteadatcompetitionorMMA‐style
training.KaichoNakamura'strainingandmentorshipcausedaparadigm
shiftinmyownconsciousness—meetinghimwasawatershedmoment
inmylife.EverythingafterSeidowasjust,well,different.
IreceivedmyShodanblackbeltrankinginNovemberof1989.
Incidentally,IalsoreceivedmyCPAandmyMBAcertificatesthesame
month.Butthemostsignificantthingthathappenedthatmonthwas
thatIhoppedonatraintoNewport,RhodeIsland,tobeginmysecond
careerasanavalofficer.ThementorshipIhadreceivedunderMr.
Nakamura'sguidancehadopenedupnewdoorsofpossibilitytome,and
Itookaleapthroughoneofthemoreadventurousones.TheZenand
warriortraininghadfinallygroundmyoutershelldownenoughthatit
allowedmyinnervoicetobeheard,tellingme,"Mark,youareoutof
alignmentwithyourpurpose.Yourpassionistobealeader,awarrior,
andtofindagrandadventure.Yourprinciplesarebeingcompromised
bychasingmoney,andyourpurposeisbiggerthanjustbeingin
businessforthesakeofacareer."Ihadalsobecomeenchantedwiththe
NavySEALs'sirencallto"BeSomeoneSpecial"andtookthebait.Into
thenavyIwentin1989andneverlookedback.
Teams'n'Shit
ItwaslateNovemberwhenIgotoffthetrainforNewport,Rhode
Island,leavingthesuit,thecorporateworld,andsadly,KaichoNakamura,
behind. Officer Candidate School (OCS) was four months of marching
from one class to another in formation, and I gutted through it, no
problem. InMarch I checked intoBUD/S, the sixmonth SEAL training
course, for Class 171 on a Friday and found that itwasn't starting for
another tenweeks. Iheard thatadifferent class,170,was rampingup
that coming Monday. I was determined to get started right away, so I
wentsearchingforsomeonewhocouldmakeithappen.
SoonIfoundmyselfsteppingontothedeckoftheCombatTraining
Tank (SEAL‐speak for pool) facing 180 scared‐looking students of class
170, lorded over by Lieutenant Rick May perched high on the dive
platform. The entire class went silent when this newly minted officer
(me)enteredtheirspace.
"What can we do for you, Enzyme?" was May's response to my
interruption.
"Sir,Ihaveordersto171butwouldliketoclassupwith170,"Isaid
withasenseofconfidence.
"OK,that'snotnormal.Provetousthatyouareready:swimfifty
metersunderwater inyourbootsandutes(utilitypants)rightnow,"he
said.
OK, I thought, this is going to be interesting, but it's rightupmy
alley.
The sea of candidates parted, likely wondering about my sanity
during this brazen stunt. I stood at the pool's edge, took a few deep
breaths,andjumpedin,bootsandall.Ipulledlikehellagainstthewater
andmadeit totheotherside,andthenIturnedandkickedagainst the
wallwithallmymight. Iglidedhalfwayandthenpulledmywaytothe
other side. Gassed, I could barely drag myself onto the deck to await
sentencing.
"See me Monday morning," May said. Then he went back to
hammeringtheclass.
On Monday I classed up with 170. May and the other SEAL
instructorswereadifferentbreedofmenthanIhadeverbeenexposed
to. Their confidence was born not of cockiness or the size of their
paycheck,butofextremecompetenceanda"beenthere,donethat"air
ofuntouchability.The legendwas thatLieutenantMay fracturedhis leg
onthethirddayofhishellweek.Hewasn'tgoingtoletthatdetailsideline
him,sohecontinuedtorunonituntilhepassedoutfromthepain…after
securingfromtrainingondayfive!
PeoplelikeLieutenantMayandLieutenantZinkeweremyheroes
andnewmentorsforthenextninemonths.Theydidn'tmessaroundor
wastetime,goingfromzerotoahundredmilesperhourondayoneand
not throttling back at all for the duration. The training standards kept
gettingharderand fasterwhile thequitting linegot longer.Thoseofus
who had spent several years preparing and cultivating our mental
toughness were ready. Those who had not…were not…and didn't
survive. Of the 180 who started in my SEAL training class, only 19
graduated,andIwastheHonorManoftheclass.
The arduous BUD/S training has been exposed by many SEAL
authorsandHollywoodmovies,soIwon'trepeatdetailshere.ButIwill
sprinkleinafewanecdotalstoriestobackupaprinciplehereandthere.
BeforeIgoon,foryouladiesreadingthis,Iwantyoutoknowthatthis
bookiseverybitasmuchforyouasitisfortheguys.ThoughtheSEALs
andmartialartsaredominatedbyrough‐and‐tumblemen,Ihavetrained
alongsidemanywomenintheartsand,morerecently,inthedisciplineof
AshtangaYoga. InAshtangamostofmypeersarewomen,everyoneof
themasphysicallycapable,ormoreso,thantheirmalecounterparts.The
principlesofUnbeatableMindarenotaboutbeinghard‐corebutrather
abouthow toperformat yourpeak in anydomain,whether youarea
mom,dad,SEAL,student,orCPA.SomeoftheintriguinglessonsIlearned
duringSEALtrainingareworthstatingnowthough:
I. Getting through SEAL training is largely a mental exercise. The
physical readiness is certainlyaprerequisite,but it is themental
preparationandresiliencythatmakethedifference.Provingthat
isthekeytoprovingyoucansurviveandbea leaderinthemost
chaoticanddangerouscircumstancesknowntomankind.Applied
toanygoalinlife,thislessonwillserveyouwell.
II. SomeamazingindividualsmakeittoSEALtrainingbutfaildueto
"bad luck" injuries. But isn't it true that the more aware and
durableyouare,thelesslikelyyouwillfallpreytowhatotherscall
bad luck? Idon't subscribe to thebad luck theory.Murphy'sLaw
says that what can go wrong will. Destiny favors the prepared.
Awareness,sleep,recovery,anddurabilitytraininghelpwithinjury
avoidance and allow you tomaintain peakperformance over the
longhaul.Hardisnotalwayssmart,andenergymanagementisa
crucialskillwhetheryouareaNavySEALcandidateortopfemale
CEO.IntheSEALswelearnedhowtoputout100percentwhenit
paid to be a winner and then how to rest, even if that meant
sleepingcomfortablyonapointyrockwhengiventhechance.
III. SomeofthesmartestandfittestpeoplemadeitthroughBUD/Sbut
failed as SEAL leaders because they lacked emotional depth and
control. This is difficult for men but is a critical skill for
performanceatthelevelwedesirewithUnbeatableMind.
IV. Theself‐confidenceofaSEALisbothacharactertraitandaskill.
The skill is to rackup small,worthy, and achievable victories on
thewaytomissionaccomplishment.Inaddition,itrequiresbeing
abletoreframefailurestofindasilverlining.Withthesetwoskills,
youwillhavetheself‐confidencetoattackanychallenge,andyour
confidenceinyourdomainofexpertisewillgrowasyoursuccess
grows.
V. Trainingneverstops.IntheSEALs,BUD/Swasjustthebeginning.
ThetraininggotharderandriskierduringSQT(SEALQualification
Training), and then it was notched up by another large factor
when we got to the actual SEAL Teams themselves. It never
stopped, and it became the "main thing" in the life of the SEAL
operator.Thisconcept isa fundamentaldriverformylifeandfor
theUnbeatableMindprogram.
VI. Valuesarejustwords.SEALstakethewordsandmakethemhabits,
turnthemintovirtuesandeventuallytheircharacter,andsomust
you. When you do this, your actions will truly express your
character,whichwill forge your destiny. Youwill stand out from
theaveragelikealighthouseonastormynight.
VII. Navy SEALs solve problems in unique and unconventional ways
not obvious tomost people. Through trial and errorwe learn to
reframeallproblemsbylookingatthemthroughmultipledifferent
lenses.We turn themupsidedownand insideout;westepoutof
the box altogether to look at them from a new paradigm, or
dimension,orculturalperspective.ThisisaSEAL‐inspiredversion
of the science of creative invention called TRIZ, developed by a
Russianinventor,whichwewillgetintoabitinchaptereight.
VIII. SEAL training established the conditions for accelerated human
performance. This is due to the immersive nature of the
experienceandtheconstantexposuretonewskills, ideas,people,
places,andchallengesofahigh‐risknature.Wegrewfastandmade
learning to learn a passion. This same type of accelerated
development is my goal for you with this book and the online
UnbeatableMindAcademy.
AfterBUD/StrainingIwastoldthatastheHonorMangraduateI
couldchoosemynextdutystation.IwrotedownSEALTeams2,4,and8,
allon theEastCoast,onmydreamsheet. I liked the ideaof serving in
Europe with SEAL Team 2 and knew I would enjoy the cold weather
work. But I soon learned that the needs of the navy trumped their
promises, and I was ordered to SEAL Team 3 in Coronado, California.
There IwasassignedasassistantplatooncommanderofAlphaPlatoon
under Lieutenant Washabau. Wash was an excellent officer, and we
trainedtheteamhardfortwelvemonths.WewereslatedtogotoDesert
Storm when the war ended just as we were heading out the door, so
instead we deployed to The Philippines. In the "PI" we conducted a
mission confusingly called "Foreign InternalDefense" (FIDwas a term
usedtodescribeUSSpecialOperationsForcestrainingaforeignforcefor
theirinternaldefenseneeds)andotherspecialreconnaissancemissions.
FIDhadustrainanumberofnavalspecialopsforcesintheAsianrimfor
thepurposeofbilateralrelations,pointofpresence,culturalawareness,
and intelligence. I really enjoyed thesemissions, though they paled in
comparison to thehard‐coredirect actionmissions seenby theSEALs
since 9/11. Most of all I loved working with Alpha Platoon and SEAL
Team3, serving there for close to fiveyears.Theworkwas fast‐paced,
extremely challenging, and very rewarding. Some of the stories that
cameoutof thatperiod areoutrageously funny andmind‐blowing.We
chalkedallthoseexperiencesuptowhatwecalled"teams'n'shit."Most
SEALs who stick around for more than a single tour have crazy sea
storiesduetothenatureoftheteamandthemissionstakenon.
In 1995my Platoon Commander Tour ST‐3 was cut short, and I
was assigned to SEAL Delivery Vehicle Team 1 in Hawaii. I also got
married to a Coronado girl named Sandy. Learning how to drive and
navigate theminisubswasalmostas funas learninghowtonavigatea
marriage!When I checked into the team insteadofgoing intoanother
operatingplatoon,Iwasslatedtoheadupaspecialprojectthattookme
back toSouthKorea.At thispoint inmyactive‐dutySEALcareer, I felt
pulledinoppositedirections.Mywifewasnotthrilledaboutthemassive
amount of travel, and I did not want to be away from her for eleven
monthsoutoftheyear.IcertainlyunderstoodthetravelneedswhenIgot
married, but I wasn't prepared for the emotional challenge they
presented.Manypeopledealtwiththisbytreatingtheirmarriagelikea
business arrangement—it didn't bother them, and they enjoyed being
away. I, on the other hand, didn't like it one bit andworried that the
marriagewouldn'tsurvive.Inretrospect,IthinkthatbecauseIhadsuch
adifficult time connectingwhen Iwas younger,when I finally founda
heart connection with a woman, I didn't want to blow it. Therefore I
made the difficult life‐changing decision to leave the active duty and
transfertotheSEALReserves.
In April of 1996, I found myself a part‐time SEAL and full‐time
entrepreneur. I paired up with my brother‐in‐law to launch the third
brewery in San Diego, the Coronado Brewing Company (CBC). The
business is thriving to this day, and since that fateful decision I have
launched five more successful businesses, including NavySEALs.com,
Inasoft, US Tactical, US CrossFit, and SEALFIT. While busy as an
entrepreneur,IalsoservedatReserveSEALTeams1,3,and17,aswell
asNavalSpecialWarfareGroupONEandSpecialOperationsCommand
Pacific.Iwasmobilizedforone‐yearactivedutystintstwice,onetimeto
BahrainandAfricaand theother to Iraq.There I rana specialproject
withST‐1tostudywhethertheMarineCorpsshouldbecomepartofthe
special ops community. I was also hired as an adjunct professor of
leadership at the University of San Diego and helped launch an
entrepreneurial leadership institute there. Iwas very busy, but again I
feltlikesomethingwasmissing.
I thought back through the years and noted that Iwas happiest
andmostsuccessfulwhenIwasactivelyengagedindailycomprehensive
training.Inbusiness,whetherasaCPAinNewYorkoranentrepreneur
inCalifornia,thefocuswasallonwork.Therewasscantattentionpaid
to physical training or mental performance. For a second time I was
facedwith the prospect of a slide into physical andmentalmediocrity,
and I decided Iwould find away, ormake away, to train like I had at
Seidotenyearsearlier.
YogaJitsu
In1998IstumbleduponSaitoNinjitsuandAshtangaYogaandtook
themboth up. Throughmy ninjitsu training, Iwas able to tap into the
physicality and raw warrior spirit of the martial arts again. It was
liberating. But it was through the eight limbs of Ashtanga Yoga that I
finallyunderstoodwhatittooktomovefrombeingawarriorathleteand
leadertobecomingametaphoricalwarriormonk.Yogaturnedmeinside
out,slowedmedownandfirmlyplantedameditativepracticebackinto
mylife.ItwastheperfectcomplementtothehardphysicaltrainingthatI
wassoaccustomedto.Throughmyyogatraining, I foundthe following
insightstoaddtomygrowingknowledgeofhumandevelopment:
I. Yoga ismuchmore thanbending and flexing yourbody. It is the
oldestformofpersonaldevelopmentknown,spanning5,000years.
It isalsorumoredtobethesourceofmodernmartialarts,witha
fellownamedBhodidharmahavingtraveledfromIndiatowhat is
nowChinaandestablishingtheShaolinMonastery.
II. Yogaliterallymeansto"yoke"orunifyyourlimitedconsciousself
withyourexpansive,soulself.Thetrainingcomesinmanyforms,
but the one I foundmost intriguing is the eight‐limbmethod of
Ashtanga Yoga outlined by a fellow named Patanjali in his Yoga
Sutras.
III. Theeightlimbscoveracomprehensivedevelopmentpathwaythat
includes developing personal disciplines, cultivating an ethical
foundation for good living, developing the body, developing the
breath (or life‐force), deepening sensory perception, deepening
powers of concentration, releasing into presence and the void
through meditation, and finding bliss, union, or
enlightenment…which have existed all the time but need to be
discoveredpersonally.Whatapowerfulandmotivatingpath.
IV. What I love about Ashtanga Yoga is its synchronicity with the
warrior disciplines I learned from Kaicho Nakamura and Zen
training, and also the teachings of Christ from my Christian
upbringing (I distinguish the teachings of Christ from the rules
anddogmaofsomeoftheChristianreligioustraditionsthathave
evolvedovertheyears).BecauseofyogaIbegantostudyhowand
whythegreatspiritualtraditionsallcameathumandevelopment
with similar tools and methods but using different words and
culturalinterpretations.
V. Yoga reinforced the notion that daily training and practice was
more important thananyspecific teacherorskill.The journeyof
disciplining the body,mind, and spirit to still itself and focus on
higher‐ordernotionsofbeingandlivingisoneofthegreatsecrets
to development. Just as the body will atrophy without constant
training, the mind and spirit will not develop, and will atrophy,
withoutasimilarfocus.
I began to experiment by combining CrossFit, Ninjitsu and
Ashtanga into my training regimen. I found each to be rich and
rewarding,but alone theydidnotmeetmywarriordevelopmentgoals.
CrossFit lacked the inner development, Ninjitsu lacked the functional
fitness and meditation, and yoga lacked the strength, stamina, work
capacity, and endurance training I desired. So I cobbled together a
program with all three, but I found it difficult to handle three $150
monthly training memberships and juggle the schedules. So in 2006 I
finally decided I would figure out a way to integrate the best of each
system into one training model. The result, launched in 2008, was
SEALFIT.
Thetrainingworkedverywell.Infactitwassofun,effective,and
upliftingthatby2013SEALFITwasknownworldwideforourAdvanced
Operator Workouts, live‐in Academy, and fifty‐hour Kokoro mental
toughness camps. Along the way I had become a recognized mental
toughness expert. All of this came from my simple desire to create a
trainingprogramformyselfthatintegratedthemostpowerfulelements
ofphysical,mental,emotional,intuitional,andspiritualtrainingthatIhad
experiencedintheSEALsthroughthemartialartsandyoga.Cool.
TheUnbeatableMindRoadMap
Since leaving theactivedutySEALs in1996, Ihavewatchedhow
businessandlifehavebecomesomuchfaster,morecomplex,andmore
aggressive. The rules that I knew then have been shattered by the
Internetandthediffusionoftechnology—bothofwhichhaveseemedto
flatten the world and compress time. Entire cultures that were once
isolated arenowconnectedviamobiledevices, andvalues are clashing
and morphing. The business landscape now looks more like enemy
territoryonasecretSEALmission.YouandImustdevelopnewmethods
andbeliefstoeffectivelydealwiththisnewreality.
Inthefirstchapterofthisbook,westartwithwhatIcalltheFirst
Premise—that youmustwin in yourmindbefore setting foot into the
battlefields in life. Using visualization techniques I first learned from a
swim coach and then honed in Zen training, I planted the seeds for
success intomysubconsciousmind.This training,alongwithpositivity,
self‐talk,andpropergoalsetting,cementedthedealandensuredthat I
wasusingmuchmoreofmymentalpowers thanmypeerswhen I set
foot onto the BUD/S grinder. This brings us to the second chapter of
Unbeatable Mind. The Two Disciplines were gleaned from closely
observingmymentor Kaicho Nakamura. He taughtme that to live an
uncommon life, one needs to learn uncommon disciplines. He andmy
NinjitsuSenseiShanePhelpsinspiredmetodevelopthe"FiveMountain"
trainingmodelofUnbeatableMind,introducedinchaptertwo.
In SEAL training, and later in business, I learned that if we can
control stress and fear, we can focus and leadmuch better. In chapter
threeIdiscussthatmentaltoughnesshasthreesecrets—controllingthe
body, the mind, and the emotions. Win those three, and you win the
battle every time. Next, chapter fourwill get into the four elements of
awarenessandguideyoutoactivateanddeepenyourself‐awarenessand
the situational awareness of your surrounding environment. You will
become sheepdog strongwith this knowledge. In chapter five I discuss
the five critical skills for developing mentally tough leadership, drawn
straight frommy high‐risk days as a SEAL officer. Chapter sixwill get
into how to develop power virtues. A virtue is a value that you have
habituated until it becomes a character trait. Unbeatable Mind leaders
embody these virtues that help to propel them into new territory and
keep them on track to be uncommon. Since we all rely on teams to
accomplish worthy goals, I offer seven "tough team" training tools in
chapterseven.Youwillleveragethesetoolstotrainyourteamtooperate
atanelitelevel.Chaptereightdivesintotheeighttraitsofmasterythat
willstartshowingupinyourrelationshipsandactionsasyourtraining
progresses.Thesesignpostsareyourindicatorsthatyouareontheright
pathandalsoyourmotivatortostaythecourse.InchapternineIprovide
a glimpse into the five plateaus of consciousness so you can better
understandwhereyour centerof gravity lies, and to lay the foundation
foryoutoascendtothehighestlevels.
Letmesaythatyouarenotaloneonthejourney—therearemany
whoare following theUnbeatableMindprescription, includingathletes,
executives, moms, dads, teens, martial artists, yoga practitioners, and
spiritualseekers.Thisbookwillprovide thebasicphilosophyand tools
to allow you towin in yourmind, forge grit, and develop an offensive
attitude. It will help you to train yourself and your team to peak
performance, and,more importantly, to leadwithyourheart andmind
mergedinaction.Iencourageyoutoenjoythejourneyratherthanfocus
onthedestination.Foreverymountainyouclimbandplateauyourestat,
therewillbeanotherandmoreinterestingviewahead.
ChapterOne:FirstPremise
The roarof the chopper's rotorblades seared the stillnessof the
night'spitch‐blacksky.Thejumpmastergavethethumbsupandflipped
onthegreenlight.Shit;herewegoagain,Ithought.ThenItookadeep
breathandflewofftherampintotheinkydarkness.Thewindbuffeted
melikearagdollforafewmoments,andthenIfeltmybodyaccelerating
awayfromthebird.Iarchedmybackandleveledout,acceleratingto120
milesperhour.Itookalookatthehorizonandsawastreakofsunlight
penetratingthenight.Thiswasmyfirstpredawnfree‐falljump,andmy
SEAL instructor,MikeLoo,waswatchingmeclosely. Idida360‐degree
turn and then looked over at Loo for his next set of instructions. If I
hadn't been hurtling through the air at 120miles per hour, you could
haveseenmyjawdrop.Loowasstanding feet toearth,dropping likea
bullet, smilingcalmlyatme.Thenhe flickedhis fingersanddida180‐
degree flip, landing feet to earth again. His control over the air was
astounding,developedduring2,000‐plusfree‐fall jumps.Lootappedhis
altimeter,causingmetolookatmine.Fourthousandfeetaboveground
level…timetopull.Lookingatmyripcord,Ireachedandpulledforcefully,
deployingmyparachute.Itwaffledupandcaughtairwithapop.Idrifted
toasafelanding,andthemomentwasindeliblyburnedinmybrainasa
displayoftotalcontrolofbodyandmind.Ihadwitnessedmastery,andof
courseMikewasjustdoinghisjob.
Theyearpriortothatjump,whilegrindingawayasaCPAonWall
Street, I had finally been invited to test formy black belt test at Seido
Karate. A month before the test, I had embarked on a final tune‐up
retreat at the ZenMountain Monastery, where the Seido teamwent a
coupletimesayearfor"mentaltraining."Itwasn'tcalledthat,ofcourse,
but that was what it was. The monastery is a Woodstock, New York,
centerforZenpractitioners.Ourschedulehaduspracticingthephysical
aspects of karate and the mental aspects of Zen in a very yin‐yang
fashion: two hours of meditation followed by two hours of karate
training,twiceaday.
The meditation sessions were so much harder than I had ever
expected.AsItookmyseatonthelittlebench(whichwassupposedto
takethepressureoffourkneesandallowustokeepourbacksstraight),
Isnuckapeekaroundattheseriousstudents.Mostweremonkslivingat
themonasterythatwasniceenoughtosharetheirspacewithus.Ifyou
couldimaginewhataprofessionalmeditatorlookslike,theywereinthat
room. I felt like an intruder and wondered if they could sense the
charlatanintheroom.Afterabouttenminutesoftryingtofocusonmy
breathing, counting each inhale and exhale, I was exhausted, and my
back hurt like hell. Why did this suck so much? I thought it was
supposedtobeallpeaceandbliss.Whowouldhavethoughtthatdoing
nothingcouldbesopainfulandhard?
Iredoubledmyefforts.Tryharder;concentrateonthatspotinfront
ofyou,Itoldmyself.IgottothecountoftwobutrealizedIwasthinking
aboutbreakfast.Back tozero.Next time Igot to threebutrealized the
whole time I had been fantasizing about a girl I hadmet the previous
weekend. Shucks; back to zero again. Needless to say, those two‐hour
sessions were harder than much of my later SEAL training! The
experiencewasareal"eye‐opener,"anditwasn'tmythirdeyethatwas
opening. I could barely make it ten minutes before my mind, like a
monkey grasping for a banana, would race off in another direction. I
called it "concentration camp" because we were instructed to
concentrateonthecounting,butitfeltmorelikementalprison."Justsit
and count your breath," instructed Daido, the head monk. "When the
mindwanders,bringitbacktothebreath.Don'tbeatyourselfup;lifeis
too short." Life never felt longer…Iwas used to things being easy and
couldn'thelpbeatingmyselfupforsuckingsobadatthisnewskill.
Duringthislasttriptothemonastery,Ihadamajorbreakthrough,
though:eventhoughIkeptfeelinglikeameditativefailure,Inoticedthat
I felt better themore I did it. Maybe this type of internalwork didn't
require the aggressive goal orientation of sports or theWesternmind‐
set.Maybetherewasno"there"there.WhatIfoundoutwasthatevenif
Isuckedatsittinginsilence, itworkeditsmagicanyhow.Thesilenceof
the bench was not much different than the silence of nature I had
enjoyedinmyyouth.Whatasimpleyetprofounddiscovery!
Themajor lesson I gained frommy journey into Zenwas that I
couldgaincontrolovermymindifIpracticed.Thekeywastolearntobe
silent, truly, in your mind silent. When you are silent, you can then
witness the mind in action. In doing so you begin to separate your
identity from "the thoughts" and get acquaintedwith that part of you
watching the thoughts. That space between the thought and the
watcher—your witness—is where the magic is. Absent that space,
efforts to develop concentration, confidence, creativity, and spirit fall
short.
LikeMikeLoo,whospentyearsdevelopingtheabilitytocontrolhis
body andmind to such a degree that he could stand on air, youmust
approach mental training without goal orientation. Be patient, and
expect theunexpected.WhenI finally tested formyblackbelt, theZen
trainingtrumpedalltheyearsofphysicaltraining.Whenpressedtothe
edgeofdespairinfightafterfight,itwasmyabilitytoquietmymindand
tapintoaninnerreservoirofstrengththattippedthebalanceandwon
the fight for thebelt.Mr.Nakamurausedthecrucibleof thetest toget
meoutofmyheadandintomyheartandspirit.Ihadtosurrendertothe
unknown, where active thought mattered less than instinct and
unconsciouscompetence.Inthatspaceofsilence,agranderintelligence
than I had ever experienced could flow through me. This experience
pointedtoanentirelynewlevelofpotential,whichIwouldwitnessagain
hurtling to earth on that parachute jump, and in other moments of
extremecrisisthroughoutmySEALcareer.
Later, as my twenty‐year SEAL career unfolded, I sought to
understand those seeds that Mr. Nakamura had planted during those
formativeyearsinNewYorkCity.Inotedthatduringlongtraininghikes
and numbingly long dives, my mind began to drop into the same
meditativestateIhadexperiencedontheZenbench.Hourswouldslipby
as a calmness and sense of confidence penetrated my awareness. I
learned to feel my way, rather than think, my way through crisis
moments. I noted how excessive thinking and analysis paralysis got
peopleinjuredorkilled.Ichoseinsteadtosurrendertomyintuitionand
seekpresencewhenpossibleover constant rationalization.Over time I
became hyperaware of what was going on in and around me. This
presentmomentmind‐set broughtmy rationalmind under evenmore
controlandallowedforcreativitytoflow.Theseexperiencespiquedmy
interestintrainingtheinnerskillsevenmore.Iwondered:
HowcouldIdeepenmyintuition?
CouldIlearntoactivatethatpreciousflowstateatwill?
CouldIintentionallyslowdowntimeandensureIwascalminthe
midstofacrisis?
How were deep breathing, internal visualization, positivity, and
effectiveplanningpracticeslinked?
Whatimpactdidthesetoolshavefor long‐termgoalactualization
versusspotperformances?
HowcouldIdevelopmycreativity?
Whatwerethelimitstomyperformanceasahuman?
The articulation of the answers to these questions, and their
presentationinatrainingformat,wouldhavetowaituntilSEALFIT.
In 2006 I was hired by the navy to train and mentor all SEAL
candidates nationwide. This program was the business driver behind
puttingmy integrated trainingprogramtogetherand teaching it to the
public.Thattrainingbecamethepetridishfordevelopingtheprinciples
discussed in these pages. That iswhere I developed the tactics behind
theFirstPremise.
Victoriouswarriorswinfirstandthengotowar,whiledefeatedwarriorsgotowar
firstandthenseektowin.—SunTzu
First,WininYourMind
IthinkbynowIhavemadeitclearthatSEALsoperateatanelite
level because they learn to control their minds and establish the win
internallybefore theyenterthe fight.This is theFirstPremise,andwe
mustgorightintothebellyofthisbeasttotacklehowtodevelopmental
control now. You don't have time or the luxury to join amonastery or
spend twenty years as a SEAL as I did (unless that is your goal, of
course!). For many of you, it will be the first time you have been
challengedto thinkabout themind in thewayIwillpresenthere.Stay
withme,andtrustthatwhatIamofferingworks.Afteryouestablisha
foundationformentalcontrol,thenyoucanmoveontomore"practical"
concepts in the ensuing chapters. Consider this high‐level process for
mentalsuccess:
Step1:Thefirststepistofocusyourmindandpreventitfrom
runningallovertheplace.Theundisciplinedmindcanbeafeistyfiend,
wreakinghavoconyourplansandaspirations.TheBuddhistscalledthis
aspectofmindyour"monkeymind."Themonkeymindisyourenemy.
Thedisciplinedmind,ontheotherhand,isyourcalm,clear,focusedally,
readytolendahandwhenyouneedit.Theprocessofdevelopingmental
controlisnecessarybeforeyoucanmoveontostep2.Evenslight
progressinthisstepleadstoaradicalshiftinawarenessandgrowth.
Step2:Asyoudisciplineyourmonkeymind,youwillbegintolearn
toconnectwithyourinternalwitness.Thisisthatpartofyouthatis
untetheredfromyourego.Asyouconnectandidentifywithyour
witness,versusyourego,youwillbegintoprotectyourmindfrom
negativeanddefeatinginfluences.Thoseinfluencesincludefear‐based
thoughts,negativeinternalfeelings,andnegativeexternalinfluences.
Rootingoutnegativeemotions,beliefs,andbehaviorsthatwillholdyou
backcantakemuchtimeandeffort.Thisstepiswheremanyfalloffthe
path.Assumingyoudonotstray,youwillfindtherewardstobe
monumental,andyouwillpushthroughtostep3.
Step3:Thisstepistofeedyourunfetteredmindwithsuper‐food
forsuccess.Thisfoodisintheformofpowerful,positiveimageryaswell
aspositiveemotionsdirectedtowardyourdesiredfuturestates,skills,
andvictories.
Step4:Inthisstepyouactivateadailytrainingplantonurture
yourinternalvisionthroughrepeatedpracticeandtoprepareforthe
fifthandfinalstep,whichisto…
Step5:Takemassiveaction,andrecruitlike‐mindedteammatesto
alignwithyourvisionandhelpyouwinyourmissions,everytime.
There is a lot of nuance packed into this simplified five‐step
process.Wewillcoveritallinthisbook.ButwheredowestartonStep1
if ourminds are like runaway freight trains? Formost of us, sitting in
silentmeditationcanseemimpossible.Withgreatintentionswegiveita
trybutare immediately frustratedby thebusynessandrandomnessof
ourmentalmachinations.Attemptstosettlethemindbyjustsittingand
tryingnottothinkcanleadtofrustrationandfailure.AsateenagerIdid
TranscendentalMeditation™(TM)withmydadforafewdays.Sittingina
nice,comfortablechair,Itriedlikehelltofocusontheirmantra.Mymind
conspiredtoturnthiseffortintoadisaster,asafterseveralsecondsmy
inner dialogue started chattering like a schoolgirl about anything and
everything:What'sfordinner?Gottagomowthelawn.WishIhadn'tsaid
thattoSally.Boy,Ihavealotofhomeworktodo.WhattheheckamIdoing
thisforanyway?Thissucks…Ihavetoomuchtodo…I'moutofhere!
Theonly consolationprizewas thatmydad failedmiserably too,
andwebothgaveitup.OnlylaterdidIlearnthattheproblemisthatwe
are bred to identifywith our thoughts.We findmeaning by constantly
thinkingofourbody,beliefs,success, failure,rules,androles in life.We
havefewmechanismstoshutthemdownexceptforsleep.Asweageand
developourrationalmindfurther,thehumblewitnessgetsevenweaker.
Wearenotencouragedtospendtimeinsilenceorgettoknowourown
depth of character, and our souls cry out for attention. But controlling
our thoughts can seem counterintuitive; after all, aren't they (our
thoughts) us? Heading down this path can be downright scary. What
would you become if you disassociated from your thoughts? Fear,
frustration,andtimedemandssidetrackmanyofus,andwequitbefore
weexperiencethesurrender.
Ifthishasbeenyourexperience,pleaseknowthatyouaren'talone.
Mymessage to you is this: forget about thepast and the failedefforts.
Now is the only time that matters. Getting to the terrain of elite
performers requires that you learn to tap into the 90 percent of your
mentalpowerthat liesbeyondtherational, thinkingpartofyourmind.
Let'sbreakthisdownandgobacktoStep1.
WitnessProcess
Haveyoueverbeenknee‐deepinanargumentwhenyousuddenly
had the experience of separating from the dialogue and watching the
absurdityofwhatyouandtheotherpersonweredoing?Youmayhave
brokenoutlaughingasyouinstantaneouslyshiftedfromidentifyingwith
thethoughtsandwordsspewingoutofyourmouthtowhat Icallyour
witness.Yourwitness isnotattachedto the thoughtsandknows itwas
all bullshit anyhow. This is a very liberating moment. Then the more
often you surrender to your witness, the wiser you become. You will
eventuallyallowyourwitnessanequalpositionwithyourrationalmind.
Youcanbeginnowtoconnectwithyourwitnessbytakingtimeto
pauseinconversation,inadditiontofindingtimetobecompletelysilent.
Thesilencedoesnothavetobewithanyspecialformofmeditation.Most
meditationpractices(aswiththeTMandZen)comefromaculturewe
arenotfamiliarwith.TheyaredifficultforthecontemporaryWesterner
to wrap their steel‐trap heads around. To solve this challenge, I offer
somesimpleguidedvisualizationsthatfocusandclearthemindquickly.
Oneiscalled"TheFishBowl"andtheother"StillWaterRunsDeep,"both
of which can be used as a jumping‐off point formental control. I will
describe the Fish Bowl technique here. ("Still Water Runs Deep" is
describedinmybookTheWayoftheSEAL,andallthepracticesinthis
bookhavewrittenandvideosdescriptionsintheonlineUnbeatableMind
Academy).
FishBowlGuidedVisualization
Findacomfortableplacetositinachair,onacushion,oronastool.
Thekeyistokeepyourspinestraightandtoavoiddiscomfortthatwill
captureyourmind.Beginthepracticebyclosingyoureyesandscanning
yourbodyfromtoestohead.Thisisasensitivityawarenessdrillthatcan
alsobedoneasastand‐aloneawarenessdeepeningexercise.Itwillbring
yourmentalattentiontopartsofyourbodyoneatatime.Asyoumove
up your body, linger for a breath at each of the six energy centers
(knownaschakras inyoga),andimagineaglowingwhitelightateach.
Theyare,inorder:
1. Root:locatedatthebaseofyourspine
2. Sacral: located about three inches above the root in your lower
abdomen,belowthenavel,nearthespine
3. SolarPlexus:locatedjustbelowtheribcage,nearthespine
4. Heart:locatedbehindtheheartinthecenterofthechest,nearthe
spine
5. Throat:locatedinthethroatbehindtheAdam'sapple
6. Brow:inthecenterofyourbrowbutacoupleinchesbehind(also
called"thirdeye")
When you get done with that intro, expand your awareness all
aroundyouforafewmoments.Trytosensetheenergyaroundyouand
inside of you and to feel connected to it. If yourmindwanders during
this phase, don't sweat it…just bring it back to feel the body and the
spacearoundyou.
OK,nowyouarereadytoclearyourmindcompletelyusingthefish
bowltechnique.Inyourmind,imagineyourskullasafishbowlandyour
thoughtsarethecloudy,murkywater(nottoofarfromthetruth,Imight
add!).Yourbreathingisthefilter.Eachdeepbreathyoutakeinandoutis
a cleansing breath that begins to clear themurkywater of yourmind.
Youbegintosensethewaterofyourmindgettingcleanerandcleareras
youbreathe.Aftertenbreathsitismostlyclean;aftertwentyitisaspure
as a natural spring on a sunny day. As you imagine the clarity of your
mind,yourealize thatwhatyouarewitnessing isa "nomind"state. In
thisstateyourmindisunspoiledbythinking.Youmaintainthatstateas
longasyoucan.Ifyoustartthinkingagain,yourfishbowlgetsdirtyand
youcanrecommittocleaningit.
Fish Bowl and Still Water are super‐effective because you are
combining concentration, awareness, andguidedvisualization intoone
powerfulpractice.Thereareothertoolsyoucanuseaswell.Youcanjust
sit and observe your breath going in and out. Don't force things; just
observe the breath and any thoughts that arise. Another is a
concentrationpractice, such as Zen,where youwill count each breath
cycle,tryingtogettoten,whilewatchingforanyerrantthoughts.Ifthey
arise, you note them, release them, and go back to zero to count the
breathagain.Spendingmoretimeinnatureisanothergreatwaytostill
your mind. If you are an athlete, you can practice "no mind" on long
endurance runs, swims, or hikes.A final tool Iwill discusshere is the
elegant practice ofmindfulness. Mindfully savoring every morsel of a
meal, ormindfullynotingeverydetail onawalk, is alsoa greatway to
train yourmindwhile participating in everyday activities. A favorite of
mine is mindful dishwashing. Washing dishes was such a distasteful
chorewhenIwasakidthatIdecidedtoturnitintoameditationpractice
as an adult. Soap on, soap off. In fact, any routine chore or task that
doesn't requirehigher‐order thinking isagreatopportunity topractice
theartofmindfulwitnessing.
FeedingtheWolf
Now that you are on yourway to being in control of yourmind,
let'sconsiderwhat'snext.Haveyouevernoticedthatwhenweget"stuck
in our heads" we can veer toward negativity quickly? We judge, get
attachedtoouropinions,areimpressedwithourbrilliance,andtendto
shutothersout. Inthesemomentswemakelousyteammatesandtend
to sabotage success.Negativitydestroysperformance in the short term
andprecludessuccessandhappinessinthelongterm.
Itturnsoutthatforsurvival'ssake,ourrational,thinkingmindis
wired with a bias for negativity. It must decide and act on life‐
threatening influencesdaily,and it isconditionedtobepessimisticand
scaredasaresultofthebarrageofnegativeinfluences(Wewillgetmore
into just how themindworks in chapter five).NativeAmerican elders
said that a wolf of fear resides in your mind, ready to pounce at the
slightestdanger.
Howdoesthisrelatetomentalcontrol?Verysimply;wehavesaid
nothingyetaboutthequalityofwhatgoesoninourmindswhenwedo
think.Oneof themainreasonstodevelopmentalcontrol issothatyou
canalsoimprovethequalityofthecontentofyourthoughts.Asyougain
control over theworkings of themind, youwill alsowitness negative,
flawed thinking. Then you have the opportunity to vastly improve the
contentofyourmind.Attheriskofbeingredundant,youcanapproach
thisasatwo‐waystreet:Whenyoustillyourmind,youwillnote(maybe
for the first time)howoftenyouharbornegativeorweak thoughts.At
thispointyouhaveachoicetochangethemimmediately.Also,youcan
learntonoticenegativitywhenitcreepsinduringconversationoraction.
Thenyoucanuseitasatriggertoquicklybringyourmindbackunder
controlandredirectyourselftopositiveperformance.
Nodoubtyounoticethatthosemomentswhenyouactfromyour
heartfeelverydifferentthanwhenyouarestuckinyournegativemind.
Inthosemomentstheheartoverridesthefear‐basedmind,andyouact
out of love and courage. Seeing a crying baby in need or an injured
puppy immediately takes us out of our fear‐based monkey mind and
into our courage‐based "heart‐mind." The wolf of fear is subdued in
thosemoments; youactwith apureness and senseof connection.You
arenowconnectedtothewolfofcourage.Thenextstepofyourtraining
is to starve fear (negative thoughts and energy) and to feed courage
(positivethoughtsandenergy).
StarvingFear,FeedingCourage
WhenIcheckedintoSEALBUD/SClass170,Iwasalittlenervous.
The instructors seemed almost superhuman and the students like little
antsrunningaround.Myclasshad180,andthenegativechatterintheir
mindswas revealed in their anxious faces. Iwas picking up a lot of it
myselfandnoticedtensioninmystomachasfearsettledintotheclass.I
begantotalktomyself:"What'sup?Ihavetrainedhardandmadeitthis
far.Manyhavegonebeforemeandmadeit.Iftheydidit,socanI.Quitting
isnotanoption;theywillhavetokillmetogetmetoquit!"
AsIsaidthosewordstomyself,Ifeltthefeargraduallymeltaway,
replaced by courage. I was grateful that I had spent four years
meditating and training my mind so I had the control to witness and
dialoguewithmyself inthismanner.WhatIdidinthatmomentwasto
witnessmythoughtsandfeelingsandthentakeactionwhenInotedthe
negative creep in. This is what I mean by "starving fear and feeding
courage."Itisacombinationofself‐talk(whattheSEALscall"attention
control") and emotional management (more on that later). As I said
earlier,negativitydestroysperformance,soit iscrucialtotraintomove
from witnessing negative thoughts to starving them and feeding the
positive.Thisisthespecificprocess:
I. Witnessnegativity.
II. Interdict,orstop,thenegativethoughtswithapowerstatement.
III. Redirect your mind with self‐talk and imagery to something
positiveandproductiveforyourcurrentgoal.
IV. Maintainyournewmentalstatewithajingleormantra.
Let me break this part down further as well. When you note
(witness)anegativethoughtpatternorfeeling(theyarecloselyrelated),
you will interdict it to prevent the negativity from spreading like a
cancer. If you fail to interdict the negative energy, it will drive you to
failure.Let'slookatafamiliarexample.TheotherdayIwasdrivingdown
Route 5 in San Diego when suddenly a maniac driver cut me off. I
narrowly avoided a dangerous accident and felt an upwelling of
negativity with an impulse to react with outrage. This is a normal
response you have no doubt experienced. It is common to allow that
negative influence to take you down a dark rabbit hole for some time
untilanothereventchangesthings.Thethoughtthat idiotcutmeoff, if
left unchecked, could ruinmuch of your day and impact everyone else
you come in contact with. In the scenario I was able to interdict the
reactionwith apower statement and then redirectmymind to anew,
positivethoughtpattern.Iforcedmyselftoletgooftheanger,forgivethe
unwittingdriver,andensurethatthenegativedidn'twin.
Interdictionpowerstatementsarewordsthatshockyourmonkey
mindbackintocontrol.Wordslikenoorstopworkwell,thoughIprefer
usingpositivepowerstatements,suchas"I'vegotthis,""pieceofcake,"
"stepitup,Mark,"ormyfavorite,"feedthecouragewolf!"Youwillwant
todevelopapowerstatementthatresonateswithyouandpracticeusing
it daily. Practicing power statements until they become second nature
will, over time, make the interdiction process automatic. Power
statementsblowupnegativementalchatterandallowyourmindtostill
itselfandawaititsnextsetofinstructions.
Power statements temporarily interdict negative thoughts but
don't ensure they will stay away forever. Negativity will likely return
unless you redirect your mind to a new, positive thought pattern.
Essentiallyyoumusthaveacontingencyplantopreventbackslide.Isee
thiswithKokoroCamptraineesallthetime.WhenInoteastudentgoing
negative,mystaffandIwilldoaninterdictionforhimorher."Whatwolf
are you feeding, Joe? Feed the courage wolf!" The interdiction
temporarilystopsthestudentinhisorhertracksasheorshenotesthe
negative state and the degradation of performance caused by it. The
student has a moment of presence and choice for a new direction, a
positiveone.Butifheorshelacksasolidredirectstrategy,heorshewill
revertbacktothenegativerut.
The secret for a successful redirect is to inject a new positive
thoughtpattern intoyourstilledmindthatalignswithyour immediate
goal. You will infuse these new thoughts with positive imagery and
feelings.Youwillkeepyourmindfocusedonthenewinternaldialogue,
imagery, and feelingsuntil you arewell intopositive terrain. Typically
theentireprocessisdoneinaninstant.Asanexample,sometimesduring
mySEALFITdaily trainingwithmy team I find itnecessary to shout a
verbalinterdiction,followedbyredirectinstructionswhenIwitnessthe
whole team suffering from a defeatist attitude. "Hooyah, team; we got
this. Focus on the next round…see it happening…let's crush this."
Instructionstothiseffectshocktheteamoutoftheirslumpandgetthem
focused on a new, positive direction. The final step is to maintain an
unfettered,positivelychargedmind.
TheUnfetteredMind
Thisisagoodtimetoremindyouthatourculturehasamultitude
of negative and intrusive triggers pounding our brains at all times. An
hour of television news and a barrage of negative people everydaydo
untolddamagetoyourfertilemind'sattempttoperform.Negativepeople
andnegative interpretations of everyday events destroy confidence and
"bringyoudown."Further,negativesubconsciousprogrammingisready
tostrikewhenyouaren'tpayingattention.Withthetoolsinthischapter,
you cannowblock external negativity, similar to pruning theweeds in
yourgarden.Yourmindgardencanthenbeplantedwithpositiveseeds
and maintained in a pristine, unfettered state—where you will have
room for spontaneous intelligence, creativity, and acceptance of new
ideas. The last step is tomaintain your positivemental state over long
periodsoftimewithajingleormantra.
The jingle (aka mantra) is a song, rhyme, or saying that is
positively charged and has a strongmeaning to you. The jingle is like
background music that keeps negativity at bay by engaging your
consciousmind in its positive words, images, feelings, andmeaning. I
must reiterate that these coded messages must be charged with
meaningbeyondtheirsimplewords.Forexample, the jingle"Everyday,
in everyway, I'm getting better and better"was coined by the French
doctorÉmileCoué.Thismanwasahundredyearsbeforehis timeand
was able to heal his patients by having them changenegative thinking
andemotionalstates.Theychangedtopositivebysayingandbelieving
that one statement. I use it daily myself, along with a couple others.
Whenthegoinggetstough,IreverttotheoneIusedexclusivelyduring
SEALtraining:"Feelinggood,lookinggood,oughttobeinHollywood."To
thisdaythatjinglekicksinthemomentIstartsufferinginaworkoutor
whenanyseriouschallengecropsupinmylife.Itworkslikeacharmto
starve fear and feed courage.With practice your jinglewill run in the
backgroundofyourmindwithlittleornoprodding.Itwon'tpreventyou
from using your mind for problem solving; rather, it is like the
gatekeeper for yourwitness, ever present toward off negativity. Your
mind remainsunder control andunfetteredby thoughtsorbeliefs that
sapyourenergyanddegradeyourperformance.
You should experience immediate results with this four‐step
mentalcontrolprocess.However,pleasedon'tbediscouragedifyoufeel
like it is taking too much time. Like the practice of silence, you are
making progress just by paying attention to this vital skill. My
recommendationistosettle intoyoursilencepractice(FishBowl) fora
few weeks and then implement the four‐step process of Witness,
Interdict,Redirect,andMaintaintostarvefearandfeedcourageinyour
life.Payattentiontowhichwolfyouarefeeding,andyouwillbeonyour
waytodominatingthisskill.Easyday,right?
Nowthatwehavesettledthat, let'smoveontothenextprinciple
thatiskeyforourgrowthasawarriorandleader.Itistodevelopthetwo
meta‐disciplinesofself‐masteryandservice,alongwiththeirassociated
sub‐disciplines.Thesedisciplineswillprovidethecontextandfocusfor
youreffortsasyoudiveintodevelopingyourUnbeatableMind.
ChapterTwo:TwoMeta‐Disciplines
Kiai,Kiai,Kiai!Theshoutsrangoutforalmostthreehoursstraight
as two hundred karate students and I shouted at the top of our lungs
duringtheannualKagamiBaraki(ringingintheNewYear)celebration,
atSeido.Thefloorhadaninchofsweatcoveringit;thewindowshadlong
ago foggedup.Overa thousandkicksandpuncheseach followedbya
multitudeofpush‐ups,sit‐ups,andfightingsequences.Thetrainingwas
arduous but exhilarating. The intense physicality of these sessions
appealedtomyathleticselfandleftmeinanalteredstate,similartowhat
I felt after a good two‐hour yoga session or a long ocean swim. The
reasonforthis,Ilaterlearned,isthattherepetitivenatureoftheworkin
thistypeoftrainingallowsyourthinkingmindtoshiftintolowgear.The
braingoesintoanalphabrainwavepatternsimilartoameditativestate.
This explainedwhy I felt like Iwasmeditatingwhile doing the intense
physicalrepetitionsofkarate,yoga,andendurancesports.Buttherewas
moreto theequationthan justhoningthemindso I feltgood. Ihadto
learntoactinmorepowerfulwaysalso.
Through the contact of man‐on‐man (or woman) fighting and
workingwith a close team, Iwas forced into uncomfortable emotional
situations that Ihadavoidedmywhole life.Thisup closeandpersonal
work with others exposed weaknesses in my social‐emotional
development. The work of the warrior extends beyond her nose and
requiresthatshealsomastersheremotionsandlearnstocommunicate
honestlyandfranklyintheteamsphereaswell.Thispartofthemartial
artsandSEALtrainingposedastarkcontrasttomyathletictraining.
Like the code of conduct for the sport athlete espoused by great
coachessuchasLouHoltzandUSOlympicHockeylegendHerbBrooks,
themartialartsalsohaveauniquecodeofconduct.Theircodeisdistinct
fromtheathleticcodeinseveralways.First,themartialcodeisn'tabout
winning.Victorymustbehonorable,andthosemartialartsthathavelost
sight of this truth have lost the way. Second, humility is placed above
accomplishment and ego. Finally, though individual performance is
valued,theteamismoreimportant…andseniorityoftrainingisgivenits
due respect. The elders aren't thrown out to pasture but train side‐by‐
side the younger generations to serve as examples, mentors, and the
occasionalbuffertoyouthfulegoclashes.ThisBushidocode(absentthe
moreradicalculturalnuancesofthecodethatwewillnotaddresshere)
washandeddownbytheSamuraiandNinjitsutraditionsandcantraceits
roots all thewayback to the fightingmonksof theShaolinMonastery.
Thesamecodeisfoundamongelitewarriorculturesofthepast,suchas
the Spartans, and exists to some extent within the modern special
operationsforces.Becausewarriortraininghasaverydifferentpurpose
than athletic training, it emphasizes a lifetime effort by the committed
warrior.Theultimategoalwas,andremains,tobecomethebestpossible
versionofyoupossible.
My commitment to lifetime warrior training required me to
developdisciplineaswellas interpersonal"disciplines" that ledtonew
behavior and habits. Over time these new disciplines penetrated my
subconsciousmindandbegan to influencemybehavior in all areasof
life.Theybecameaspectsofmycharacterbecausetheyshiftedmydaily
focusof effort and improved thequalityofmymindand relationships.
They also required me to look back upon my underlying beliefs and
throwoutwhatwasn'tsupportingmeanylonger.
Self‐MasteryDisciplines
Let me backtrack a little to talk about some of those underlying
beliefsthathadtobethrownoutformetoleaptothenextlevel.Priorto
theSEALs,mycareerasafledglingaccountantatCoopers&Lybrandwas
driven in the short term by my goals of earning an MBA and CPA
(showinganeedforsignificance)andbymylong‐termgoalsoffinancial
independence (displaying a need for certainty). I was cruising along
towardthesecommongoalsbutdidn'tfindtheworkveryinterestingor
rewarding.Thosesixletters,"CPA‐MBA,"becamemyfocus,andIwasn't
goingtoquit,nomatterwhat.Myfamilyandfriendswouldsaythatmy
futurelookedbright:Iwasmakinggreatmoneyinaprestigiousjoband
hadacareerpathlainoutinfrontofme.ButIbecamemoreandmore
miserableandbegan to feel likea fishoutofwaterasmyZen training
exposedmetomyrealself.
ThedeeperIwent, themoredisdainIbegantofeel forthegreed
andbackstabbingbehaviorIwasobservingintheoffice.AndIwasafull
participantinthecharade.Thiswasdisorientingtomeasmyunderlying
beliefs from my family and upbringing contrasted with what I was
experiencing in person. Themessage from the home front was that I
was kicking ass in this professional business career, and other
professions,suchaslaw,academia,andmilitaryorbluecollarworkwere
forothers…theDivineswereabusinessfamily,period.
IcontinuedinthequestbutfoundmyselfseekingrefugeatSeido
up to twiceaday. Itwasmyhangoutwhen Iwasn'tatworkor school,
fillingasimilarrolethatnaturehadinmychildhood.Butitwasthereon
the training floor and bench that I was slowly awakening to my true
purpose.Soonenoughthedilemmawasmadecleartome:stayandplay
thesecurecorporategameandbemiserable…ordive intoanunsecure
butboldnewlifewiththeSEALsandfindoutifIcouldbefulfilled.
After one of our Zen trainings, Kaicho gave a lecture titled "One
Day, One Life."He explained that awarrior experiences a lifetime in a
singleday.Yousee, thewarriordoesn'ttakeanythingforgranted.Heor
shelivesontherazor'sedgeofexperienceasifeachdaywerepotentially
thelast.Eachmomentislivedasifone'shairisonfire—withafullness
andpurpose.He or she avoids getting caught up in the dramas of life,
preferring to avoid regrets and desires by keeping things simple and
practical.Inordertoexperienceonelifeinonedaythewarriortrainshis
body,mind,andspirittobeattheready.
Iwasverymovedbythelectureandthoughtdeeplyaboutitover
the next few weeks. What would I be like if life had a deep purpose
beyondcareeror job?Howmotivatingthatwouldbetowakeupevery
day with that hair‐on‐fire passion to fulfill a deep purpose! This
awakening allowed me to finally drop the old beliefs about work, the
corporate ladder, and success and to accept awholenewphilosophyof
life.TothisdayIcontinuetotraindailytoupholdthestandardsetbyMr.
Nakamura's "One Day, One Life" speech. The discipline this concept
represents is called Self‐Mastery. It is developed by travelling The Five
Mountains.
TheFiveMountains
WhenIfinallyfoundthecouragetostepoutofthecorporategame
tojointheSEALs,IlearnedthattheSEALsembodiedasimilarapproach
to life, albeit itwas expressed through their unique cultural lens. Both
theSeidoandtheSEALculturesaidthattooptimizepotentialwemust
trainourselvesinawhole‐person,balancedmanner.Ibelievethatthere
are five primary domains of intelligence thatmust be developed to be
trulysuccessfulinlife.IcalltheseTheFiveMountainsandtheyare:
I. ThePhysicalMountain:methodicallydeveloping theability touse
your body fully and functionally. This builds confidence and self‐
esteemandmakesyoumoreusefulinlifeandtoyourteam.This
includes the physical skills of strength, stamina, work capacity,
endurance, and durability, as well as properly fueling the body,
sleep,andrecovery.
II. The Mental Mountain: cultivating mental control for a positive
contributiontotheworld,thementaltoughnesstostayinthefight,
andthecreativityformorepotentwork.Thisincludeslearningto
tapintoandrewiresubconsciousprogrammingandtomasterthe
skills, knowledge, and expertise necessary to your personal or
professionalcalling.
III. TheEmotionalMountain:understanding,harnessing,and
controllingyourvastemotionalpower,transmutingnegative
emotionalbaggageintopowerfuldrivers,andforgingresiliencyin
thefaceofgreatchallenges.
IV. TheIntuition(andAwareness)Mountain:becominganawareand
intuitiveleaderbylearningtolookwithinanddevelopyoursixth
sense,tolistenwithyourbelly,andgetsheepdogstrong.
V. TheKokoroMountain:thewordkokorohasJapaneseoriginand
meanstomergeone'sheartandmindinaction.Thismountainis
aboutlearningtoleadandactwithheart,authenticallyconnecting
withothers,andstrivingforanintegratedworldviewandinclusive
consciousnessthatbenefitsallmankind.Kokorocanalsobe
The physical mountain is covered in detail in my book 8 Weeks to
SEALFITandalsointheonlineUnbeatableMindAcademy.Wewillnotgo
intophysicaltraininginthisbook;ratherwewillexaminetheotherfour
mountains.ThekeyconceptIwanttoleaveyouwithistolookattraining
your"wholeperson"inanintegratedmannerfromnowon.Thiswillset
you on the path to mastering yourself at all levels and accelerate you
towardhigherplateausofconsciousness…whereyouwillexperiencelife
atitsfullest.
Self‐Mastery'sSub‐disciplines
During my classroom lectures at the SEALFIT Academy, I often
beginbyaskingtraineeswhethertheyarethe"subject"orthe"object"
oftheirlifestory.Inotherwords,dotheywritetheirownscriptsorare
they, like Iwas inmy"pre‐Seido"youth, reacting toascriptwrittenby
someoneelse?Irelatethestoryabouttwinbrotherswhosefatherwasa
heavydrinkerandabusedthembothterriblyaskids,asadscenario.A
reporterwaswriting a story about the achievements of one twinwho
clawed his way out of the poverty and depression to achieve great
success. The reporter asked the man, "To what do you attribute your
accomplishments?"Heresponded,"Ihadnochoice,yousee.Ihadtofind
awayupandoutbecausemyfatherwasahorriblealcoholicandabused
meandmybrother—IknewthatifIdidn'tworkhardandseekabetter
life, I'dbecomejust likehim."Curiousaboutthe fateof theothertwin,
thereporter trackeddownhimdown.He foundhimdestitute, livingon
the streets. The reporter asked him the same question. The response
was,"Ihadnochoice,yousee; Iwasdoomedbecausemyfatherwasa
horrible alcoholic who abused me and my brother. I didn't stand a
chance."
Thepointofthisstoryisthatyouobviouslyhaveachoicetobein
control of your life. How you use your mind, body, emotions, and
intuition and connect with your spirit is a choice. Do you leave it to
chance, letting the preconditioning of life write your script, or do you
takecontrolandwriteyourownbestseller?Theanswerisclear.
No maritime journey of importance is ever achieved without
disciplinedshipbuildingandadisciplinedcaptain,crew,andnavigation
system. As you set out to tackle your Five Mountains, so too will you
need disciplines as powerful as those. To use a different metaphor,
disciplinesare like railroad tracks foryour life: theykeepyouon track
whiledirectingthewayforward.
The word discipline should be defined before we go further.
Commondefinitionsinclude:
I. Training to ensure proper behavior:the practice or methods of
teachingandlearningbehaviorpatterns
II. Order and control: a controlled, orderly state as in a classroom
settingoramilitaryunit
III. Calm,controlledbehavior:theabilitytobehaveinacontrolledand
calmwayevenduringadifficultorstressfulsituation
IV. Conscious control over lifestyle: mental self‐control used in
directingorchangingbehavior,learninghowtoexecuteanew
taskoridea,ortrainingforanevent
Thefirstdefinition,"trainingtoensureproperbehavior,"isclosest
tomymeaning here. To be disciplined is literally to be a "disciple" to
something larger than you. In this context you must be a disciple to
mastering yourself and your personal Five Mountains. The first sub‐
disciplineofself‐masterytoguideyourchoicesissimplicity.
When I was in the corporate world navigating the political and
social scene, life seemed complex. I note that many people gravitate
towardthecomplexbecauseitmakesthemfeelimportantandprovides
distraction from other, truly important, things. While distracted they
don'tneedtofocusonthemoredifficultworkofimprovingthemselves
orservingothers.WhenI jettisonedthatworldand landedintheSEAL
Teams,lifesuddenlygotverysimple.Mymissionwasclear:huntandkill
the bad guys, and protect the life we had back home. Personal
possessions often got in the way so were discarded. Communications
betweenteammateswaskeptSpartanandauthentic.Thefocusofmylife
collapsed to training and conducting missions around the world. I felt
liberated by the simple life of the warrior. I try to live by the same
standardtothisday.
Let's break this down to the practical level. In the context of
everyday life choices, simplicity can mean to be content with your
present situation. Though it is important to work toward the best
possiblefuture,remainingcontentatthesametimekeepsthingssimple.
Infact,whereyouarenowisanecessarystepinyourevolution,andit
wascreatedbyyou.Itdoesn'thelptobeatyourselfupifyouaren'thappy
with the current state of affairs. Keep it simple, and be content:
obsessing about what you don't have accomplishes nothing. Remain
contentwithwhereyouarewhileexecutingasimplestrategyforgetting
towhereyouwanttogo.
Simplicity also offers the deeply liberating opportunity to reduce
the number of commitments, material possessions, and unsupportive
relationshipsweencumberourselveswith.All thesetendtoclutterthe
mindandweighyoudown.Lighteningtheloadlightensthespiritaswell.
This principle extends tomoderation in speech, food, drink, and other
habits. Toomuch of a good thing turns it into a bad thing.Moderation
helpsusremaincontentwithwhatyouhaveandwhereyouare.Oneof
the two statements at the Greek temple at Oracle was "everything in
moderation."Theyunderstoodthepowerofthisdiscipline.
SometimesIallowthingstoclutterupinsomeareasofmylife:my
closet, office, and car trunk, to be specific. Maybe you do the same in
otherareas.Ihavefoundthataperiodicunclutteringofthesespacesis
anexcellentway to experience simplicity and contentment.Beginwith
yourmostclutteredspace.Cleanitandthenkeepitcleanquarterly.De‐
clutteringwillhelpyouavoidaccumulatingunnecessarypossessionsand
commitments, keeping things simple. Always be asking yourself these
twoquestions:
I. DoIreallyneedthisnow/Can'tIdowithoutit?
II. WhatcanIgetridof/letgoofnow?
Thissimplesimplicitypracticeleadstolessattachmenttomaterialthings.
Nonattachmentisapowerfulattitudecloselyrelatedtocontentment.Itis
extremely liberating to know that though you can't take your
possessionswithyou…youcandietrying!
Thenextsub‐disciplineisdedication.Ifyouarecommittedtoself‐
mastery, then youmust be dedicated to your training. After I endured
two years of continuous training to become a Navy SEAL, I was
somewhatsurprisedtolearnthatmynumberonefocusasa"Teamguy"
wastotrainmoreandharder.Itneverended,andithastransformedmy
life in several ways. First, training was not optional; rather, it was
elevated to the same level as eating and sleeping. Second, trainingwas
toocriticalforittoberandomorhaphazard.Mostpeoplehavearandom
approach to physical training andwonderwhy they don't get very far.
Random training would be a disaster for any elite team, as it is for
individuals. Trainingmust be planned and purposeful and approached
witha"crawl,walk,run"methodology.Dedicationisrequiredtoshowup
andputouteveryday.
AfewyearsagoIwasvisitingfriendsinManhattananddecidedto
visit the Seido dojo. As we entered the building, a flood of memories
rolled intome. I recognized some of the students I had trained twenty
yearsearlier,whowerenowfifth‐andsixth‐degreeblackbelts.Leading
the class was none other than Kaicho Nakamura. He noticed me
immediatelyandstoppedtheclasstowelcomemyfamilyandme.
"Mark,sogoodtoseeyou!"hesaidwhilegivingmeabighug."Is
this your beautifulwife and handsome son?"He introduced himself to
my family.Thenhe turned to the classandsaidproudly, "This isMark
Divine,numberoneNavySEALandaverygoodKarateka too!"First, I
wasawestruckbyhismemory(hehadn'tseenmeintwentyyears)and
tobegreetedlikea long‐lostson.ThenIwasawestruckbytheshowof
disciplinethismanhad.In1989Ihadleftthatsamefloorwherehestood
and taught a class, just like today.Nothinghad changed except his age
andthesizeofhistribe.IknewIwasinthepresenceofamaster.
A note of caution: dedicationmust be balancedwith humor and
reality checks. What I mean is this: be serious and dedicated to your
training, but balance it with humor and let "real life" flow. I often see
thosewho embark on this path get really serious, as if being serious
would move them along faster. It won't; trust me. Having a sense of
humorandbalanceismorefunandeffectiveforthelonghaul.Basedon
whatyouhaveseeninpopcultureandthemovies,youmayexpectthat
Kaicho Nakamura andmy SEAL brothers were a stern lot. Nothing is
further from the truth. Though they are all dedicated and intensely
seriousaboutmastery, theyarealsohilariousand lighthearted.Trynot
totakeyourselftooseriously,andkeepinmindthatthejourneyismore
importantthanthedestination—soyoushouldrelaxandenjoyit.
Thethirdsub‐disciplinetolookatisauthenticity.Authenticitywill
evolvenaturallyasyoufocusonself‐mastery,butitisalsoimportantto
groove it into your being. The values that underlie authenticity of
character include integrity,honor, andhumility.Wewill look closely at
these values in chapter six. Living with integrity begins with mental
controlanddirectingyourthoughtstowardpositive,powerfulintentions.
Then youwork to align yourwords and deedswith those thoughts. In
this way your character begins to display authenticity because you
becomeintegrated.Iprobablydon'tneedtostresshowuncommonthis
has become in our world today. Your relationships going forward will
largelybedefinedbythelevelofauthenticityyoubringtothem.Alackof
authenticity leads to diminished trust, creating a transactional
relationship. An abundance of authenticity leads to enhanced trust,
fosteringatransformationalrelationship.Whichwouldyouprefer?
ServiceDisciplines
Medal of Honor recipient LieutenantMichaelMurphywas killed
during a SEAL mission in the mountains of Afghanistan. The riveting
story was told by his teammate Marcus Luttrell in his book Lone
Survivor. Heroics aside, the behavior of the late LieutenantMurphy is
interestingtolookatinthecontextofourdiscussionofdisciplines.First,
"Murph," as hewas known to his teammates, demonstrated incredible
compassion for his team during the failed op. When the team was
discoveredbyashepherdandhisson,Murphhadtoquicklyweighthe
militaryrulesofengagement,thelocalthreatofaTalibanresponse,and
hiscompassioninmakingadecisiontokillorreleasetheunarmedlocals
toprotecthisteamandmission.Heultimatelyletthemgo,leadingtothe
disastrousconsequencesforhimandhisteam,aslocalsindeedinformed
theTaliban.Itiseasytosecond‐guessthedecisioninthecomfortofour
living rooms (many special operators believe he made the wrong
decision);however,thefactthathisconsciousnessledhimtoactoutof
compassion,notviolence,iswhatIfindintriguing.What'scleareristhat
hediedaheroandwithaclearheart.
ThebiglessonwecanlearnfromMurphy,though,ishowheserved
histeammates.AfterbeingoverrunbyhundredsofTaliban,Murphand
theteamfoughtlikelions.Butthesituationwasgrim,sohereachedout
for help. Unfortunately the radio did not work in the mountainous
terrain, so he resorted to a satellite phone. To get an uplink to the
satellite, he exposed himself to the enemy fire, knowing full well he
wouldnotsurvive.Isurmisethathissenseofservicetohisteammates
made this an easy decision for him. There was no hesitation, no self‐
preservation.Hesteppedintotheopentocallforbackup,andthatwas
theend.
Thereismuchadoaboutserviceinthephilanthropicandreligious
communities.Thedoingofgoodworks inthenameofservice isanice
gesture.However,thisisnot"Murph‐level"service.Toomanycompanies
andindividualsdoitbecausetheythinkitwillmakethemlookgoodor
becausetheircompetitorsaredoingit.Oftensomeonewillprovidesome
service through his or her church but then be a self‐serving jerk at
home. Service has taken on the role of an obligation to check the "do
good, feel good"box.The typeof service thatMurphmodeled involved
serving your team (family) before yourself at all times. This is a
discipline that requires three supporting attitudes: compassion,
generosity,andabundance.
Compassionevolvesfromself‐respect.Self‐respectisdevelopedby
forgiving oneself and letting go of all regret. When you have cleared
regret, you can then turn your eyes toward others with respect and
compassion.Inoursocietycompassioncanbeseenasweaknessinmen.
But in warrior traditions it is a strength and even extended to your
enemy, asMurphdisplayed. Truewarriors are the last ones topickup
theweapontofight.
Generosityisanabundancemind‐setdirectedtowardothers.You
don'tneedtohoardorcutothersofffromthebounty;infactthe
universallawofgenerositystatesthatthemoreyoushare,themore
plentyyouhaveinlife.Thismentalityishardtofindtodaybutisa
powerfulchangeagentforyourgrowth.Ifyouareconcernedaboutthe
futureoftheplanetanditsdwindlingresources,IrecommendPeter
Diamandis'sbook,aptlytitledAbundance.Inithepaintsanoptimistic
pictureofourfutureplanetbasedonacceleratingbreakthroughsin
technologythatarechangingtheworld,startingwiththebottomfour‐
fifthsofthepopulation.
When you truly believe that there's enough to go around for
everyone,regardlessofthesituation,thentheworldstopsbeingazero‐
sumgame.Generosityoftime,support,andloveallowsabundantenergy
toflowfromyoulikeariverconstantlyreplenishedbythewellspringof
universal energy. Abundance and generosity can be developed through
awareness of your daily impulses toward scarcity and then redirecting
thosethoughts:
Doyoutip20percent?
Doyousmileatpeopleyouwalkby?
Doyougrabthebiggeststeakoffthegrillorallowsomeoneelseto
haveit?
Doyouhelpsomeonewithoutbeingasked?
What would you do for your family or teammates in a time of
need?
Often it is the tiniestof things thatbetraysascarcitymentality—
suchastheoddsteakquestionabove.Ialmostlostafingeratabarbeque
byascarcityguywhohadhismindfocusedonalarge,juicysteakthatI
wasabouttoremovefromtheBBQ.Hisknifecamedownhardbetween
mymiddleandringfingerasheexclaimed,"Mine!"Ouch.Pleasedon'tbe
likethatperson.
The Golden Rule describes the abundance mentality, a version of
which exists in every spiritual tradition. "Dounto others as youwould
havethemdountoyou"istheChristianversion.Theinterestingaspect
ofthisruleisthatthereturnisgreaterthanthegiving.Althoughitmay
come back at a later time, or from another source, or in a different
manner than that in which it was given, it will come back to you in
greatermeasure.Ontheotherhand,ifyou'reastingyhoarderwithyour
money, time, or energy, you will dry up like Ebenezer Scrooge. Your
energywillstagnateasyoubecomemorebrittleandinflexibleinthought
andbody.
UnbeatableMind training requires personal discipline aswell as
cultivating the interpersonal disciplines of self‐mastery and service.
These disciplines develop the foundation for an ethical life, whichwill
allow for growth toward higher stages of consciousness and a more
fulfillinglife.Let'snowmoveontothenextchapterandlookatthethree
secretsofmentaltoughness.
ChapterThree:ThreeSecretsofMentalToughness
Nowthatwehavecoveredthecriticalconceptsofdeveloping
mentalcontrolandestablishingtheethicaldisciplinesofself‐mastery
andservice,let'slearnhowtostaythecourseandsticktoour
commitments.SooftenIseepeoplewithgreatmindsandalltheright
stuffforsuccesstorpedothemselvesontheone‐yardline.Theydothis
becausetheylackthefundamentaltoolsformentaltoughness.Sointhis
chapterIwillsharethreeofmytopsecretsofmentaltoughness,which
are:
I. Mentaltoughnessisachoice.Firstyoumustchoosetocontrol
yourmindandturnittowardsuccess,andthentheskillsfor
mentaltoughnesscanbehoned.
II. Stresskillsmentaltoughness,soitmustbeunderstood,harnessed,
anddirectedintoapositiveforce.Breathingandconcentrationare
thebest‐keptsecretsforestablishingtheconditionsformental
toughness.AsimpledrillIuseandcallBoxBreathingutilizesboth
andwillchangeyourlifeifyouuseitdaily(moreonBoxBreathing
later).
III. Mostofwhatweconsidermentaltoughnessisactuallyemotional
resiliency.Learntobeemotionallyresilient,andyouwillbe
mentallytough.
Solet'sgetrightintothefirstofthesebytalkingaboutchoice.
ThePowerofChoice
Asyou learn to control yourmind, lifeopensup to choice rather
than being buffeted by the winds of chance and fate. Prior to your
mentally controlled life, things seemed to happen to you. Life was
random,andyouoftenfeltoutofcontrol,becauseyouwere,anditwas.
Nowthatyouarelearninghowtocontrolyourmind,youarebackinthe
driver'sseat.Youwillbeabletocreateexactlywhatyoudesireandavoid
what you need to. You are writing the script of your own
masterpiece…yourlife.
Note that your entire life ismade up of thousands of very small
choicesmadeeveryday.Wetendto focusonthe fewbigchoiceswhen
we look forwardorreflectonour lifeexperience.However, isn't it true
thatthebigchoices,thelife‐alteringones,areavailableonlyasaresultof
thesumtotalofallthesmallchoicesyoumadeuptothatpoint?Hereare
someexamples:
As a kid you chose to embrace school rather than resist it. You
sought to learn, did your homework, and got decent grades. The daily
commitment led toa choice togo toa topuniversity.Alternativelyyou
chosetoresistschoolandhaveanegativeattitudeaboutbeingforcedto
sitinclassesyouhadnointerestin.Then,asyouapproachedtheendof
theprocess,youhadadifferentsetofchoices—suchas todropoutor
finishandstartatthebottomofthe ladder inahard‐luck joborgotoa
community college to fix the damage. Very little had to do with
intelligence,exceptasithadtodowiththelittlechoicesthatdefinedthe
bigones,whichimpactedtherestofyourlife.
Or try this: Inyour formativeyearsyouchose toembrace fitness
andgoodnutrition.Everydayyouaskedyourselfwhether this foodor
thisactionwouldmakeyouhealthierorlesshealthy.Youmadeahabitof
training your body and eating well. Then, in your mid‐twenties, you
decidedthatyour lifewascallingyoutobeaNavySEAL.Becauseyour
choicestothatpointwereinalignmentwiththebigchoiceofbecoming
a SEAL, you sailed through the program. The alternate universe is
obvious,andIdon'tneedtodescribewhathappenstothevastmajority
ofpeoplewhomake"lessgood"smallchoicesintheareaoffitnessand
nutrition.Ourhealthcare,medical,andinsuranceindustriesaretrillion‐
dollar industries as a result of several generations making poor small
choicesinthoseareas.
OK,whereamIgoingwiththis?Itissimple:stressandsuccessare
definedbychoice,anditisthesmallchoices,notthebigones,thatmake
thedifferencebetweengoodandexcellent.Sincestressissooftencited
asthecauseforpoorhealth,breakdowns,and lackofsuccess, itmakes
sense that we seek to understandwhat stress really is andwhy it's a
myth that stress is your problem. It is that belief that is really the
problem. The prevailing view in society is that stress acts on you
insidiouslyandyouareitshelplessvictim.Howoftendoyouthinkthese
thoughts,orsaythemoutloud?
"Iamsostressedout."
"Thisjobiskillingme."
"Ineedadrink."
Iwasthereinmyearlytwentiesandknowhoweasyitistofall
intothistrap.Nowthatyouunderstandthatyourmindcanbeeithera
feistyfiendorfriendlyally,youcanseethathowwereacttostressis
actuallyastorywetellourselves.Changethestory,andyouwillchange
howstressorsaffectyouandyourlife.Tochangeourstoryaboutstress,
let'susetheprocesswelearnedinthelastchapter:
I. Step 1 is towitness the adverse stressor as it impacts you and
beginstoaffectyourpsychologyandphysiology.
II. Step2 is to interdict theresponse to thestressandthenredirect
yourpsychologyandphysiologytocountertheimpactofthestress
andtransmuteittopositiveperformance.
III. Step 3 is to use breathing and concentration techniques to
maintain performance and eliminate the stress from yourmind,
body,and life.With thisprocessyou takebackcontrolandmove
fromstresstosuccess!
The three steps work whether we are talking about a one‐time
acute stress, like in a crisis, or long‐term chronic stress, such as the
crushingloadofcommitments.Incidentally,themainstressexperienced
in our lives is time stress, and it is entirely self‐induced. After all, isn't
timealsoastoryandsocialconstructthatallowsushumanstoorganize
social life?Redefiningyourstoriedrelationshipwith timewill reducea
bigsourceofstressinyourlife.Takeonfewercommitments,focusmore
positiveenergyontheworthycommitments(thatarealignedwithyour
purpose),andwatchyourperformanceskyrocket.
Taking control of stress and transmuting it to courageous action
allowsyou to leadwithgracewhileunderextremepressure.Thereyou
display the mental toughness traits of confidence, clarity, and solid
decisions.Butbefore I dig into the twomain tools formanaging stress
andtransformingitforyourbenefit,itwillbeinformativetounderstand
stress'seffectataphysiologicalandpsychologicallevel.
UnderstandingStress
Forty‐nine hours and forty‐five minutes into Kokoro Camp, the
instructors descended on the trainees, some who we sensed had held
backduringthearduousweekend.TheSEALcoachesarelookingnotfor
superhumaneffortbutratherforsuperdeterminationandafire‐in‐the‐
bellyattitudetowardchallenge. Ifsomeonetries toskateandsitonthe
sidelines,theyareeventuallyexposed.KokoroCampisavoluntaryevent,
sowedon'tdropnon‐performersunlesstheyareadangertothemselves
orwillholdtheclassbacksignificantly.Typicallyevensomeonewhoopts
out is transformed by the totality of the experience. But occasionally
someoneletsusdown.
Thatdaywewereon the vergeof securing the classwhen some
unspokenurgestruckustopressharder.Weratcheteduptheintensity
level and put the class under a whole new level of mental duress and
uncertainty. They had thought therewere only a fewminutes left and
that if they could endure forty‐nine hours and forty‐five minutes of
pressure,theycouldhandleafewmoreminutes.Butasweturnedupthe
heatandconvincedthemthatweweregoingforanotherfewhoursuntil
theygot itright, tooursurprise,a traineeupandquit.Thenewstress
had unhinged him, and he stepped aside and said hewas done, game
over.Thechoicewassimply tokeepgoingashehad for the last forty‐
ninehoursandfifty‐fiveminutesorgiveuponachallengehehadupto
thatmomentfoughthardtocomplete.Wesecuredtheclassasplanneda
fewmomentslater,andhewatchedinstunneddisappointmentfromthe
sideline.
Stress is neither good nor bad—it just is—but it gets a bad rap.
Mostfolksthinkthatthesecrettohealthandhappinessistoeliminate
or avoid stress. There are amillion courses out there that propose to
eliminate financial stress, work stress, relationship stress, everything
stress. Good luck with that…it is like peeing into the wind; it doesn't
workverywell.Everyonefacesamassiveamountofstresseveryday,but
hewhomanagesitwellwins.
Stressissimplyatermforresistanceorpressure,bothofwhichwe
need inour lives to growashumans. Let's use strength training as an
example.Weight introduces an external resistance stress to our bodies
whenweattempttomanipulate it.Thechallengerequiresusto learna
newskillandthendevelopthemuscularstrengthandstaminatoliftand
movetheloadsafely.Toaccomplishthisthebodymustbreakdownold
tissuesthatwereprogrammedforthepreviousskill leveland loadand
buildnew tissuesprogrammedwith thenewreality (weight limitsand
skill).Mostpeopledon't react to that formof stressnegatively—in fact
scientistsevengivethattypeofstressatitle:"eustress."Eustressisgood
stress,but in reality it ishowwementally frameandhandle the stress
thatisgood,notthestressitself.Thestressjust"is."Backtothestories
wetellourselves.Thestorythatstressisbadisnotagoodone.Stressis
stress;howwelearntorespondtostressanduseittogrowisthebetter
story.
When stress is not intentionally invited, we consider it distress.
Again,thestressitselfisn'tbad;itisourrelationshipwithitthatcauses
ustolabelitandexperienceitas"distress"ratherthan"eustress."How
we dealwith the stimulus is influencedby factors such as expectation,
fatigue,preparation,andresiliency.Whenwedon'texpectthestress,are
fatigued,aren'tpreparedtohandleitwell,andlackresiliency(theability
tobouncebackfromstressquicklyandstrongerthanbefore), thenthe
stresswilladverselyimpactperformance.
Ourbrainsarewiredtoprocessincominginformationthroughthe
amygdala, which puts the information through a test for threats and
opportunities. The amygdala interprets many modern influences as
threats(suchastimepressure),eventhoughthesearebenigncompared
tobeingchasedbyalionlikeourancestors.Theamygdalatriggerswhat
wecall the "fight, flight,or freeze" response.The response (also called
thehyperarousalandacutestress response) isaphysiological reaction
toaperceivedharmfulevent.Theresponsefuelsahormonalonslaught
fromglandsincludingthehypothalamicandpituitaryglandsandadrenals
that release hormones, such as adrenaline. These cause a plethora of
physiological andpsychological reactions, includingelevatedheart rate,
rapidbreathing,dilatedpupils, andbloodvessel constriction invarious
partsof thebody.Eachsymptompreparesbothmindandbodyforthe
inevitablereactiontotheimposingthreat.
The autonomic nervous system, which controls the sympathetic
andparasympatheticnervoussystems,stepsupto takecontrol in fight
or flight. The sympatheticnervous system originates in the spinal cord,
anditsmainfunctionistoactivatethephysiologicalchangesthatoccur
duringthefight‐or‐flightresponse.Theparasympatheticnervoussystem
originatesinthespinalcordandmedullaandworksinconcertwiththe
sympathetic nervous system. Its main function is to activate the "rest
anddigest"responsetoreturnthebodytobalanceafterfightorflight.
Ifyouareabitnerdyandwantevenmoredetails,keepreading.If
not,thenskipaheadtothenextsection.Asmentioned,thefight‐or‐flight
response begins in the amygdala, which triggers the hypothalamus,
which then activates the pituitary gland to secrete
adrenocorticotropichormone(ACTH).Simultaneously theadrenalgland
isactivatedtoreleaseepinephrine.Thesechemicalsconspiretoproduce
thehormonecortisol,which iswhat leadstothephysiologicaleffectsof
fightorflight,suchas:
Increasedbloodpressure
Elevatedbloodsugar
Boostofenergy
Thecirculationoftheadditionalcortisolfunctionstoturnfattyacidsinto
newenergy,whichpreparesmuscles throughout thebody to rock and
roll. The hormones adrenaline, epinephrine, noradrenaline, and
norepinephrine work on the nervous system to prepare the body for
violentaction,towit:
Accelerationofheartrateandinhalationcycles
Palingorflushing,oralternatingbetweenboth
Inhibitionofdigestion
Constrictionofbloodvesselsintheextremities
Dilationofpupils
Lossofhearingandperipheralvision
Shaking
The physiological changes give the body increased strength and
speed in anticipation of fighting or running. While the fight‐or‐flight
responseisanadaptivereaction,prolongedincreasesinstresscancause
avarietyofnegativeeffects,suchas:
PhysiologicalEffects
Headaches
Muscletensionandpain
Chestpain
Fatigue
Changesinsexdrive
Upsetstomach
Problemswithsleeping
Urinaryproblems
PsychologicalEffects
Anxiety
Restlessness
Lackofmotivationorfocus
Irritabilityoranger
Depression
Behavioraleffects
Over‐orundereating
Drugoralcoholabuse
Socialwithdrawal
Prolongedstressresponsesmayalsoresultinchronicsuppression
of the immune system, leaving the body open to infections. However,
there is a shortboostof the immunesystemshortlyafter the fight‐or‐
flightresponsehasbeenactivated.Thismayhavefilledanancientneed
to fight the infections in a wound that onemay have received during
interactionwithapredator.Thesesamesymptomscanresultfrompost‐
traumatic stress and panic disorder, in which the stress response is
activated by memory of an event and/or a catastrophic
misinterpretationofbodilysensations.
Enough with the tech speak, and back to the practical issue of
what to do about a human body that has not reset itself for modern
times. Through my own training and by helping thousands of special
operations candidates, I have found that stress is easily managed
throughbreathingandconcentrationtools.Thisknowledgecametome
initiallythroughmymartialartstraining,andIusedittonavigateSEAL
training.ButitwasmydeeptraininginAshtangaYogawhereIfoundthe
experientialdataanddeepunderstandingofwhybreathingpracticesare
so effective at developing control over your mind and body. Yoga
practitioners have used breathing and concentration techniques for
thousandsofyearstoeliminatestress,developoptimalhealth,anddrive
toward spiritual advancement. It turns out that breathing is free
medicine, and the daily practice of breath control will lead to optimal
health and a longer life. Concentration and breathing techniques have
beenpartofmydailyregimenforoverfifteenyears,andtheimpacthas
beenextraordinary.Let'slookathowandwhy.
Double‐BarrelPower:BreathingandConcentration
TheSEALDeliveryVehicle(SDV)wascruisingalongattwenty‐five
feetbeneaththewatersoffOahu,Hawaii.Iwasinthenavigatorseat;the
moreexperiencedenlistedSEALwaspiloting.Wewere twohours into
ourfive‐hourdivemissionwhenithappened.Waterrushedaroundmy
faceandfilledmywraparoundbreathingapparatus.Icouldbreathebut
couldn'tseeathingandbecamedisoriented.IfumbledthroughtheSOPs
(standardoperatingprocedures) to clear themask,but tonoavail.The
facemasksealhadrupturedandwasuseless. I reached formybackup
mask,butitwasnowheretobefound.Dang—somehowIhadlostiton
insertion. I immediately understood what the old‐timers meant when
theysaid, "two isone;one isnone"when itcametoequipment.NowI
wasuselessasanavigator,yettherewasnoturningaroundoraborting
the mission. So for the next three hours I dealt with the misery of a
floodedfacemaskandofbeingauselessbystanderinthemissionasthe
otherSEALtookovernavigationaswellasthepilotingjob.
After the initial fear and frustrationwore off, I settled in for the
longanduncomfortableride.Iknewthattheonlywaytogetthroughit
wastogobacktothetraining.SoIslowedmybreathingdownandbegan
toholdmybreathatthe inhaleandexhale. Ialsostartedtoconcentrate
mymind deeply on the breathing cyclewhile saying a positivemantra
and maintaining a positive attitude. I was just getting good at all this
whensuddenlytheSDVcametoahalt,andIgotasqueezefromthepilot.
I thoughtwehadaproblem,buthesignaledmetoexit theSDV.Tomy
surprisewehadarrivedatourdestination!Threehourshadpassed in
whatfeltlikeforty‐fiveminutes.Ratherthanadisastrousandmiserable
threehours,Iactuallyfeltapeaceofmindduringthedeepbreathingand
concentrationexercise.Itwasanotherpowerfulanchoringforjusthow
valuabletheskillsare.
Without the breathing and concentration skills, I could have
panickedandcompromisedthemission,orataminimumbeenmentally
tortured for the duration while I struggled to see. I don't recommend
waitingforacrisisbut learningtobreathproperlynowfortruemental
toughness to be experienced. Before I get into details on proper
breathing,let'slookatitssisterskill,concentration.
Weallunderstandwhatitmeanstoconcentrate,butcanwereally
concentratewithenoughdepththatalldistractionsareeliminated?Can
we concentrate on our one thing (the most important thing) for long
enoughperiodsoftimetogetthejobdone?Canwedoitwithahair‐on‐
fire intensity? Deep, long, unbroken, and inspired concentration is a
hallmark skill of super‐successful people. Yet the onlyway to improve
concentrationisbypracticingconcentration.
There aremanyways to practice concentration; in fact we have
discussedafewalready.Theguidedvisualizationdrillsintroducedinthe
firstchapterareconcentrationpractices,asisthebasicZenpractice.Any
endeavorwhereyoutakededicatedtimetofocusonaverynarrowrange
of things, or just one thing, canbe classified as concentrationpractice.
Most of what passes for meditation in the West today is actually a
concentration practice. The concentration practices that I use include
Box Breathing, yoga, Qigong, and mind games. Box Breathing is my
personal favorite; as we develop our breathing skill, we are also
developingourconcentration.Itisadouble‐barrelpowerpractice.
When we begin concentration practice, our goal is to maintain
focusononethingwithoutdistraction.Overtimeyouwillexpandyour
focus tobeable tobeawareofall that isgoingonaroundyou(and in
you)whileyoufocusonthatonethingwithoutdistraction.Focusinglike
alaserbeamonataskwhilesimultaneouslybeingawareofwhatisgoing
oninsideandaroundyouisanadvancedskillthathasgreatbenefitfor
authenticleading,communications,andcreativework.
Over time additional benefits will accrue from your deepening
powers of concentration. Youwill be able to learn new and important
thingsveryfast,andyouwillbeabletopenetrateyourowninnernature
to understand greater truths about our lives, human nature, and the
natural world in general. The yogis say that with enough deep
concentration one can know the nature of all things, allwisdom. Let's
settleforthepracticalbenefitsofimprovedconcentration,suchas:
Becomealeaderwhoisnotfazedinacrisis
Beamorepersistentandpositiveproblemsolver
Finisheverythingyoustart,assumingyoudeemitisworthyof
yourtimeandfocus
Bethego‐toguyorgirltosolveinterpersonalconflicts
Feelmoreconfident,withhigherself‐esteem
Gainmore insightandself‐knowledge,developinghumilityand
grace
Concentrationtrainingrequiresdailyeffort.Thegoodnewsisthat
youcandoenjoyablethingstodeepenconcentration,suchasbreathing,
yoga, and reading. Further, the better you get, the easier it is to
"practice"concentration inotherareaswewouldnot typically thinkof,
suchasinphysicaltrainingsessionsorwhenplayingasport.
In a crunch situation, I recommend you collapse your
concentrationtoyourbreathingwhilemaintainingrelaxedawarenessof
the surroundings. Breathing deeplywill greatly reduce the stress, slow
yourheartrate,andbringyournervoussystemback intobalance.The
mindwill remain focusedasyourbodycomesback intobalance.Then
youcanmakebetterdecisions in themidstof thechaos,danger,or the
debilitatingeffectoffear.Thisiswhybreathawarenessandcontrolisthe
numberonetoolforUnbeatableMindstudentswhochallengethemselves
and push the envelope. But it is equally effective to enhance your
performanceintheboardroom.Thelevelofcontroloveryourphysiology
and psychology I am talking about must be practiced and habituated
untilitbecomesaroutineskill.
Breathing practice doesn't just reduce stress and enhance
concentration—it has some other powerful benefits aswell. First, it is
important to understand that breathing works on two levels in our
bodies.Itstrengthensandmakesourphysicalbodieshealthier.Second,it
chargesandbalancesourenergybody,makingthathealthierandmore
powerfulaswell.Theenergybodyisthatsystemofenergeticpathways
thatincludeschannelsoneachsideofthespinethattransmitenergyup
and down the spine (nadis) and points where the energy channels
intersectastheyspiralbackandfortharoundthespine(chakras).The
energybodyisquiteelaborateandhasbeenmappedingreatdetail,yetit
is mostly out of reach of Western scientific instruments at this time.
There are three steps to breathing for optimal physical and energy
health:
1. Relearning how to breathe deeply through your nose into the
diaphragm
2. Trainingtodothisnaturallysoitbecomesyournormalbreathing
patternwhenawake
3. Learning to direct the breath to anchor and trigger razor's edge
performance; when triggered you will easily increase energy,
reduced stress, deepen concentration, reduce fear, and tap into
greaterwillpower
To say that learning breath control is the most important
component of forging mental toughness would not be an
understatement. During drown‐proof training at BUD/S, many people
dropbecausetheyhavedifficultycontrollingthestressandfearcaused
bythatseeminglydangerousevent.Withhandsandfeettied,theywould
panic and flail, throwing their energy down the drain. However, those
whohavelearnedtocontroltheirbreathingsailthroughtheevolution.
Whenyouwereababy, youknewhow tobreatheperfectlywell.
For someunknown reason, that knowledge is lostwith age.Today it is
likely thatyouuse justasmallportionofyour lungcapacitywitheach
breath.Theaveragepersontakesfourteentofifteenbreathsperminute
andutilizesaboutone‐thirdofhisorher lungcapacity ineachbreath.
This leads to increased blood pressure, carbon dioxide buildup, and a
hyper‐stateofmonkeymind.Thetrainedwarriorwill takethreetofive
breathsperminute,greatlyreducingtheamountofcarbondioxideinhis
system while maintaining a calm body and mind. There are three
problemswithrapid,shallowbreathing:
1. Youaretakingtoomanybreathsandwastingpreciousenergy.
2. Youarenotbringingintheoptimalsupplyofoxygenandlife‐force
ineachbreath.Youareleavingenergyonthetableandshortening
yourlife‐span.
3. Youarenotexpellingallthestaleairfromthedepthsofyourlungs,
leadingtosluggishness,toxicity,andlong‐termhealthproblems.
Learning the three‐part relaxation breath and doing it daily
eradicates theseproblems, freeingyouup toperformbetter.Here it is:
Begintoinhaledeeplythroughthenose.Oneachinhale,fillthebellyup
withyourbreathandexpandthebellywithair likeaballoon.Thenon
theexhale,expelalltheairoutfromthebellythroughyournose.Draw
thenavelbacktowardyourspinetomakesurethatthebellyisemptyof
air.Repeatthisforthreetofivecycles.Onthenextinhale,fillthebellyup
withairasinstepone,butwhenthebellyis"full,"drawinmorebreath
withyourdiaphragmintotheribcage,causingtheribstowiden.Onthe
exhale, let the air go first from the ribcage, letting the ribs slide closer
together,andthenfromthebelly.Staywiththis forthreeto fivecycles.
Finally,fillupthebellyandribcageasdescribedabove,andthendrawin
evenmoreairintotheupperchest,allthewayuptothecollarbone.You
willnoteyourupperchest risingandexpanding.On theexhale, let the
breath go first from the upper chest, then from the ribcage, and then
fromthebelly.Youwillfeelarelaxing,settlingfeelingasyoureleasethe
pressure. This three‐part breath focuses you on the three areas to be
filled with air and then released in sequence. The goal is to train to
breathethiswayunconsciouslyandnaturallyinonebreathmotion(that
is,youwillnotconsciouslybreakitintothreeparts).Icallthisbreathing
patterntherelaxationbreath.Pleasenotethattheinhaleandexhaleare
done solely through the nose in as slow and controlled manner as
possible.Infact,unlessyouaresmokedinaworkoutandgaspingforair,
the nose is the organ for breathing. Breathing through the nose
stimulatesthenervesthatactivatetheparasympatheticnervoussystem,
countering the fear response of the sympathetic nervous system. The
nosealsowarmsorcoolstheairandcleansesitofunwantedelementsin
theair,suchasdust.
Nowlet'sturntomyfavoritetrainingtool,whichdevelopsthe
relaxationbreathandconcentrationsimultaneously.ItiscalledBox
Breathinganditissimplyaddingaholdattheendofeachinhaleand
exhale.Startbyexhalingalloftheairfromthelungs.Nowinhaletoa
countoffive,andthenholdyourbreathtoacountoffive.Next,exhaleto
acountoffive,andholdtheexhaledbreathforacountoffive.Fora
profoundimpact,reciteapowerfuljingle/mantraoneachhold,suchas
"gettingbetterandbetter,strongerandunfettered."Thispracticeis
describedindetailinmybookTheWayoftheSEALandintroducedin
audioformatinthefirstlessonoftheUnbeatableMindAcademy.Doing
thepracticeseveraltimesadayisapowerfulwaytogreasethegrooveof
yourrelaxationbreathanddeepenyourmentalpoweratthesametime.
Nowthatwehavelearnedthecriticalityofproperbreathingfor
health,stressmanagement,andconcentration,let'slookathowthethird
secrettomentaltoughnessallowsustostayinthefightwhenthingsgo
bad.
EmotionalResiliency
TherewasajuniorofficerinoneofmyplatoonsatSEALTeam3
whoworehisemotionsonhissleeve.Attheslightestsignofcriticismor
honestfeedbackofhisperformance,hewouldflyoffthehandleand
ensurethateveryonewithinearshotknewhowscreweduptheofficer
waswhohadstraightenedhimup.Needlesstosayhiscareerwasshort.
DuringKokoroCampInotehowtheinabilitytobouncebackquickly
fromfailureoftencripplesatraineeemotionally.Doyouwonderhow
manytimesyouhaveletyouremotionstorpedoarelationshipor
stressfulproject?
Emotionalresiliencymeansthatyoucanbouncebackquicklyfrom
asetback.Itisaskillthatcanbetrained,justlikementaltoughness.The
processissimplystatedbuttakestimeandpatiencetodevelop:
I. Witnessthenegativeemotionalreaction,andtheninterdictitto
observetherootemotionbeneathit.
II. Leanintotherootemotiontoexperienceitfully,ensuringthatyou
areavoidingdenialortransference.
III. Transmutethenegativeemotiontoitspositivesister;forexample,
fearbecomescourage,angerbecomescommitment,jealousy
becomesappreciation,shamebecomespride,anddespair
becomessurrender.
IV. Engagethenewemotionwithimageryandself‐talkthatsupports
itandblockstheoldemotion.Thengetmovingagainbytaking
actionortakingyoureyesoffyourselfandputtingthemona
teammate.Thepositivemomentumwilltakeyoutoanew,more
positive,emotionalplace.
Letmewalkthroughapersonalexample.DuringOperationIraqi
Freedom,Iwasquotedinanewspaperarticlethathadaprovocativetitle
abouttheSEALs.Theauthor,withoutmyapproval,usedmyreserve
officerrankinthestory,makingitlooklikeasemiofficialstatement.Igot
calledonthecarpetquicklybyaSEALcaptainwhoreadmetheriotact.
AsIstoodtallinfrontofthisman,whoclearlylackedemotionalcontrol,I
feltmyownangerrisingtowardhim.Myinstinctualemotionalresponse
wastolashoutandfightback.ButIwasabletointerdictwiththisself‐
givencommandto"stop"andthenbegantoobservemyinneremotional
statewithoutlosingcontrolwhileIwasgettingrailed.WhatInotedwas
thatbeneaththeangerwasfearoftherepercussionsanddamagetomy
reputation.Ileanedintothatrootemotion(mybodyreactedwithanger,
buttherootwasafearofloss).Iexaminedit,kickeditstires,anddecided
thatthoughthefearoflossIfeltwasreal,Iwasblowingitoutof
proportion.IsawthatIhadanissuewithauthorityandthatthiswasa
valuablelearningmoment.Allthishappenedwhilethecaptainrattledon
abouthowbadapersonIwas.SoImadetheconsciousdecisionto
transmutethefearofthisauthorityfigureintoadeepcommitmentto
maintainmypositiveandprofessionalattitudetowardhim.Afterall,he
wasjustdoinghisjobandworkingwiththetoolsthathadsupported
himwellinthatsystem.Ibegantoenvisionmyselfasawell‐respected
officer,admiredfornotbeingafraidtospeakhismindandfordoingthe
rightthingregardlessoftheconsequences.Asyouprobablypredicted,I
gotthroughtheincidentwithouttoomuchbloodloss,andIwasableto
refinemyemotionalresiliencytoolkit.Ultimatelymyreputationwas
enhancedbytheincidentwiththosewhomatteredtomemost.
ItismucheasiertoberesilientwhentheFourAttitudesof
EmotionalResiliencyareburnedintoyourcharacter.Thefirstattitudeis
tohaveself‐esteem.Self‐esteemistheemotionalstateoffeelingworthy
andrespectedbyothers.Lowself‐esteemcancomefromchildhood
abandonment,volatileenvironmentswhereyourvoiceisnotheard,or
outrightabuse.Iftheseattributesexistinyourconsciousness,thenitis
imperativethatyougetsometherapeutichelpandgodeepintothe
silencepracticestotastetheunderlyinggoodnessinsideofyou.
Second,resiliencyisassuredifyouhavetheattitudeofbeing
orientedtowardothersversusjustyourself,asourseconddisciplineof
serviceseekstodevelop.Inotherwords,ifyouareserviceoriented,then
youtendtobemoreemotionallyresilient.Thischaractertraitshowsup
atthefifthplateauofconsciousnessdevelopment(seetheafterword),
associatedwithaworld‐centric,service‐orientedview.VictorFrankl
describesthisattitudeinhisbookMan'sSearchforMeaning,which
chronicleshisexperiencesinaJewishconcentrationcamp.Victor
survivedbyfindingmeaningthroughtendingtoothers'needsoverhis
own…andthenteachingthepowerofthissimpletruth.
Thethirdattitudeisholdingapositivemind‐setandoptimistic
outlook,whichwehavealreadydiscussedatlength.Itshouldbeno
surprisethatapositive,optimisticattitudeimpactsone'semotional
resiliency.
Finally,resiliencyisensuredwhenyouhaveanattitudeofself‐
controlinformedbyadeepcertaintyofyour"why."WhenclimberAaron
Rothfoundhimselfaloneinthedesert,literallystuckbetweenarockand
ahardplace,hefinallycuthisownarmofftosavehislife.Hedidit
becausehis"why"wastosurvivesohecouldbethereforhisunborn
daughter,showinghisorientationtowardothers.SEALLieutenant
Murphyshowedhisemotionalresiliencywithoptimismandloveforhis
teammates,maintainingself‐controlunderahailofgunfiretocallfor
back‐up.Hewasdeeplycertainofhisactions,eventhoughthedeadly
outcomewasvirtuallyassured.Tobeemotionallyresilientanda
survivor,itiscrucialtoknowtheanswerto"whatisyourwhy,andwhat
areyouwillingtodotomakesureitcomestofruition?"Thenbackitup
withself‐esteem,apositiveattitude,optimismthatyouwillsucceed,and
afocusontheothersinyourteam.
Nowthatwehaveabetterhandleonthesecretsunderlyingmental
toughness,stressmanagement,emotionalcontrol,andemotional
resiliency,wecanexpandourinnerandouterawarenesstobetteravoid
danger,andtapintoopportunities,whileonourjourney.
ChapterFour:FourElementsofAwareness
Ifyouknowtheenemyandknowyourself,youneednotfeartheresultofahundred
battles.Ifyouknowyourselfbutnottheenemy,foreveryvictorygainedyouwillalso
sufferadefeat.Ifyouknowneithertheenemynoryourself,youwillsuccumbin
everybattle.—SunTzu
WhilewithSEALTeam3,IdeployedtotheMiddleEasternnationof
Bahrainforanextendedmission.OnedayIwaswalkingonthenaval
basewithaBahrainiofficerwhenhereachedoverandheldmyhand.It
wasanawkwardmomentbutmadeevenmoresobecausehemadeno
movetoreleaseit.Infacthekeptholdingitwhilewestrolledthebasefor
aboutforty‐fiveminutes.Asatwenty‐eight‐year‐oldstraightguy,aNavy
SEALwithastrongdoseoftestosteroneflowingthroughme,everycellin
mybodywasscreaming.Tosaythisactrequiredemotionalcontrolfor
meisanunderstatement.Irealizedthoughthatthiswasnormaltohim
anditwassimplymyownbackgroundbeliefthatmadeitawkward.Who
deemedthatholdinghandswithamanwaswrong?Mostofyoureading
thisareprobablycringing,anddependingonyourplateauof
development,youmayhavesomechoicewordsforme!Doweexpectour
normstobethenormsofothercultures?No;theywillhavetheirown
normsandbeliefsthatwemaynotunderstand.InBahrain,holdinghands
withanothermaleisashowoffriendshipandloyalty.Whatisobviousto
otherswemaybecompletelyblindto,andviceversa.Wearequickto
judge,andforthatreasonJesusadmonishedusto"firsttaketheplank
outofyourowneye,andthenyouwillseeclearlytoremovethespeck
fromyourbrother’seye.”(Matthew7:5)
ClearingYourBOO
Thepointisthatweeasilyseetheshortcomingsofotherpeople's
beliefsandbehaviorswhileremainingignorantofourownlimitations,
whichareequalorworse.Icallthisblindnesstothepatternsandhidden
beliefsthatdrivebehaviorourbackgroundofobviousness,orBOO.This
BOOislargelyamemory‐inducedphenomenonofyourpast‐orientedself
anddeep‐rootedbeliefsystems.Itincludesthingssuchas:
I. Hiddenassumptionsaboutyourlifebaseduponthefamilyand
placeyouwereraised,whichshowupasrelativerulesandbeliefs;
amorepowerfulorientationistoalignwithuniversallawsand
hangyourbeliefsonthose
II. Amindprimedtothinkacertainwaybythedominantmyths,
stories,andlanguageofyoursociety
III. Anemotionalbodycorruptedbynegativeemotionsdeniedor
transferredatanearlyage
IV. Anovertrainedrationalmindfullofcommonconceptsandideas
fueledbypopTVandnewsculture
Imentionedthattheseattributesliedeepinyoursubconscious
mindandemotionalbody.Buttheysurfaceinyourconsciousmind
wheretheyshowupasbeliefsandpatternedresponsestothestimuliin
yourlife.YourBOOcantripyouupinsomanywaysthatitisamajor
reliefwhenyoufinallybegintorootoutflawedBOO,thatshadowpartof
ourselvesthatwedragaroundlikeakettlebell.UnderstandingBOOwill
leadtomoreclarityandbetterdecisions,helpingyouavoidfutureregret.
Butdoingshadowworktakesguts,andmanywell‐intentionedpeople
backoffwhenconfrontedwiththeirBOO.Why?Becauseitisscaryto
admitourweaknessesandflaws,andmanylegitimateobstaclesstandin
thewayoflong‐termsuccesswiththisimportantwork.Thebiggerthe
shadow,thebiggertheobstacle,whichcancomeinfourflavors:
I. Nothavingthetoolsorperhapsfinancialmeanstohireatherapist
orattendtraining
II. Aninabilitytomustertherequisitemotivationandenergyforthe
task
III. Fearoffailurefromdiminishedreputation,lossofjob,etc.(afterall,
youwouldhavetoadmityouaren'tperfect!);thesisterobstacleto
this is fear of success, which would disrupt one's comfortable
statusquo
IV. Not having the courage to do the deepwork, or simply blaming
someoneelseforyourflaws
AlignwithUniversalBeliefs
Theouterconditionsofaperson'slifewillalwaysbefoundtoreflecttheirinner
beliefs.—JamesAllen
As James Allen's quote suggests, you can't hide from your own
beliefs.What you believe in colors every thought you have and action
youtake…andtheverypersonyoubecome.Likesanddislikes,opinions
ofotherpeople,careerchoices,andeventhe foodyoueatareallaby‐
product of your beliefs. If your beliefs are working for you, then you
shouldbehugelysuccessful,peaceful,andcontent. If thatsounds likea
pipedream,thenperhapsyourbeliefsneedtobechallenged.Butwhenis
thelasttimeyouexaminedandchallengedtheverybeliefsyouholddear
in your life? Typically this only happens when we hit a wall because
things justaren'tworkinganymore. Inthesemomentsyouareopento
examiningnewbeliefs.
Socratesmadethiscommentlongago:"Theunexaminedlifeisnot
worthliving."Butwhatdoesitmeantoexaminealife?Ithinkitisclear
thathemeanttoexamineyourbeliefsbeforeatrainwreckforcesyouto.
Really,doesitmakesensetogothroughlifeassumingthatalltheideas
that we have ingested are unassailable? That would be leading an
unexamined life. Examining beliefs will lead to new levels of resolve
because you find deeper meaning and clarity about the nature of
existenceitself.
Beliefscomeintwoprimaryforms,relativeanduniversal.Relative
beliefs,suchasIbelieveinAmericanexceptionalismorIbelieveIwillbe
met by a bunch of virgins in heaven are formed through human
interaction and are relative (meaning they change) based upon the
values, expectations, and centerof gravityof the individual and society
heorsheisfrom.Theyincludenormssuchasreligiousbeliefsandideas
about things such as success, health, andmorality. Relative beliefs are
heavily influencedby familiesoforiginandpopculture.Thedisparate,
murky, and changing nature of these beliefs is what leads to such
disparityoflivedexperienceonourplanet,forbetterorworse.
Universalbeliefs,suchasIbelieveintheGoldenRuleorIbelievein
the lawofabundance,arefixedandexistoutsideoftherealmofhuman
interactions. These beliefs are beyond discrimination or judgment of
race,class,orcreed.Whatisuniversallytrueformeisalsoforuniversally
trueforyou,regardlessofwhetherwebelieveitornot.Philosophersof
all ages have noted that goodness comes from aligningwith universal
laws/beliefs, while the potential for weakness, even evil, comes from
moralrelativism.Theyhavehadendlessargumentsaboutwhethergood
and evil are part of the human condition, leaving it a choice tomove
towardoneortheother,orexistindependentofthehuman.
OurapproachatUnbeatableMindistotestatheoryonourselves,
implement what works, and then discard what doesn't. My personal
experiencehasledmetobelievethattheworlditselfdoesn'tcaremuch
aboutme,butwhenIalignedmybeliefsandactionswithUniversalLaws
then my life experience improved dramatically. This requires an
examinationoforiginalunderlyingbeliefstoseewhicharerelativeand
whichuniversal.Ifabeliefisrelative,thenIrecommendyouexamineit
morecloselyandbepreparedtoupgradeordiscardit. If it isuniversal,
thenaskwhetheryoufullyunderstandandappreciateitspower.Alsoask
whetheritispossibleyouholdacompetingrelativebeliefthatcancelsit
out.
Hereisanexampleofacancelingbelief:Youholdauniversalbelief
inabundance,thatthereisenoughtogoaroundandthereisnoreason
tohoardorseescarcity.However,youcouldsimultaneouslybelievethat
you are notworthy of the abundance youdreamof because youwere
bornpoor, lacktherightopportunities,didn'tgototherightcollege,or
arestuckinadead‐endjob.Inthissimpleexample,itisclearthatthough
youcouldbelieveintheconceptofabundance, therelativebeliefabout
yourself‐worthcontradictsandcancelsitout.Notgood.
The confluence of your beliefs, values, expectations, and level of
consciousnessformsthefoundationforyouroverallbeliefinyourselfas
a person. This impacts yourwillpower. Thus, if you hang your hat on
yourrelativebeliefs,thenyouareatriskofrelyingonweakoroutdated
beliefstopropupyourwillpower.Ifyourbeliefsareuniversal,thenyour
resolvewill be strong because you have the universe backing you up!
Deep belief in yourself and your mission will come from acting in
alignmentwithuniversaltruths.
Withthisapproachtolivinganexaminedlife,youmayaccelerate
your growth toward a multidimensional and integrated perspective,
leaving absolutism and rigidity behind. Only then will you find
uncommonresolvebyyoursidetobackyouuponworthypursuits.
Here are someuniversal laws to reflect upon. Youwill recognize
manyofthesefromyourSundayschoolclass,andyoumaybeabletoadd
otherstothelist:
I. The law of cause and effect: this law states that for every cause
there is an effect. It is also known in the East as karma. Your
resourceistostudyPatanjali'sYogaSutras.
II. Thelawofabundance:thislawstatesthattheworldhasenoughfor
everyonewho abides by this law. Your primary resource for this
lawistheBible.
III. Thelawofwinninginyourmindfirst,beforeacting:thislawsays
that youwill achievevictoryevery time if you first see it, say it,
andbelieve it in yourmind. Your primary resources for this law
areUnbeatableMindandSunTzu'sTheArtofWar.
IV. The law of attraction: that what you fix your mind on you will
attract in life.Yourprimaryresource forthis lawisTheSecretby
RhondaByrne .
V. The lawof receiving: that you receive in proportion to the value
you deliver in life. Your primary resources are to studyWarren
BuffettandBillGates.
VI. TheGoldenRule:dountoothersasyouwouldhave themdounto
you.YourprimaryresourceistheNewTestamentsofJesus.
VII. The law of surrender: this law states that instead of pushing
against the tide, surrender to it, and youwill find enlightenment
and peace. Your primary resources for this law are to study
BuddhaandtheTaoTeChingbyLaoTzu.
VIII. The law of forgiveness: this law says that if you forgive yourself
and others, you will release negativity and find happiness. Your
resourceistostudythelifeofNelsonMandela.
IX. Thelawofnonattachment:thislawsaystoletgoofattachmentto
material things, your ideas, andultimately to life itself for lasting
contentment. The resource is to study the writings of the Dalai
Lama.
X. Thelawofnonresistance:thislawissimilartononattachment,but
it specifically applies to nonviolence. Fighting violence with
violenceshouldbealastresortandonlydoneinself‐defense.Your
resourcesaretostudythelivesofGandhiandMartinLutherKing.
XI. The law of focus: this law says that what you focus on with
intensity anddurationwill come topass. Your resources for this
lawareUnbeatableMindandNapoleonHill'sbookThinkandGrow
Rich.
Nowlet'sturnourattentiontothepracticalmatterofhowone
goesaboutexaminingbeliefstoclearthemuptoalignwithuniversal
laws.Iproposethreeawarenesspractices,whichIprovideabrief
descriptionofbelow.Itislefttoyoutoinvestigateeachandintegrateinto
yourtrainingasyouseefit.
I. Insightmeditation
II. Contemplation
III. Recapitulation
Insightmeditationhasyouselectaninternalaspectofyourselves
tomeditateupon,suchasanemotion,aparticularbelief,orasticky
thoughtpattern.Ratherthanobsessingaboutadetailofyourlifewith
yourcognitive"monkeymind,"(moreonthatinthenextchapter),with
insightmeditationyouwillcallyourattentiontotheissueandjustlet
yourawarenessrestonit,tryingtopenetratedeeperanddeeperintothe
objectofyourattention.Don'ttrytoactivelythinkaboutit;rather,just
observeitandnotewhatcomesup.Whatcomesupwillbeinsightabout
theissuethatyouhadn'tconsideredbefore.Asanexample,aftergetting
miredinseveralbadbusinesspartnerships,Iusedthispracticetogain
insightonwhyIkeptrepeatingthepattern.AfterseveralsessionsIhad
thedistinctrevelationthatIwasoverlytrustingofthosewhocameinto
mylifeatabusinesslevelbecauseIhadlearnedtotrustmyteammates
withmylifeintheSEALs.Thisledtomistakesofentrustingthatpartners
wereatthesamelevelonlytobeburnedwhentheycouldnotmeetthat
highstandard.SothoughIwasdiscouragedbythisuncomfortablefact,I
hadtolearntoverifyandthentrust.
Contemplationisamoreactiveprocessthaninsightmeditation.
Withthispracticeyouwillchooseasubject(suchasabelief)oran
object(suchasaBibleverseorRumipoem)andthinkdeeplyaboutthe
meaning.Contrastyouractions,integrity,andstandardswiththeobject
ofyourcontemplation,andreflectuponhowwecanmoveinthe
directionsuggestedorthedirectionthatyourwitnessknowstobebest.
Thiscanbeverymotivatingandleadtoastrongdesiretogrowtoward
theideal.
Finally,recapitulationisanincrediblypowerfultooltouncoverand
eradicateBOO.Theprocessofrecapitulationistogobacktoreviewyour
lifeatmomentswhereyouthinkandfeelyougotstuck.TheUnbeatable
Mindeveningritualisaformofrecapitulation.AncientToltectradition
requiredyoungwarriorstorecapitulatetheirentirelivesbeforebeing
promotedtofullwarriorstatus.Needlesstosaythattooksometime,
patience,andcourage—likelyimpracticalforourpurposes.
Letmeprovideapersonalexampleofhowpowerfulrecapitulation
canbe.IrealizedafewyearsagothatIhadepisodesinmyyouthwhereI
wasemotionallystunted.Theemotionalblockagewascausingmetofeel
anxietythatwasunwarrantedandcausinganuncomfortablestrainin
meetingsatwork.Ididn'twantthisaspectofmyBOOtocontinueto
influencemenegatively,soIcommittedtogoingbackinmymindto
relivetheseepisodesvisuallyandemotionally.Thisrecapitulationhada
powerfulimpact,asIwasabletoseewhatcausedtheproblemtobegin
with,toforgive,andtoreleasetheemotionsthathadbeenblockedor
transferredtosurvivalmodefeelings.Itisapowerfultoolthatisbest
combinedwiththeothertwo.
Journalingisanexcellenttooltocomplementthesedrills.When
youjournalthoughts,ideas,fears,desires,andotherthingsthatcomeup
ininsightmeditation,contemplation,andrecapitulation,youwillobserve
patternsinyourthinking.Thosepatternspointtotheveryhabitsof
thoughtsandbehaviorthatyouareseekingtounderstandandperhaps
change.
Nowthatyouarefullyreadonhowtodeepenyourawarenessto
understandBOOandalignwithuniversalbeliefs,let'smoveintofuture
timetodiscoveryourOneThingandyourThreePsofpassion,purpose,
andprinciples,andthentoalignyouractionswiththem.
ONEThingandThreePs
Self‐awarenessofyourBOOwillkeepyourlimitingbeliefsfrom
causingyoutorepeatthesamemistakesoverandagain.Butitisself‐
awarenessofyouridealfuturethatallowsyoutocreateseriousforward
momentum.Thetwoprinciplesworktogetherlikeahandandgloveso
thatyoucanperformoptimallyinthepresentmoment.WhenIwas
youngerIwasagreatdaydreamer,butifyouhadaskedmetodescribe
whatmyfuturelookedlike,whatmypurposewas,whatmyprinciples
were,orwhatIwassupposedtodoaboutitall,Iwouldhavegivenyoua
blankstare.Tobefair,mostpeoplearenotveryclearonanyofthat
either.Thisinabilitytoseeandarticulateafuturefullofpurpose,
passion,andprincipleswascuredbymydeepinsightandcontemplation
sparkedbytheZentraining.Inretrospect,thelackofawarenessinmy
youthcausedmemuchhand‐wringingandlosttime.Ioftenwonderhow
manypeopleareinthesameboatorevenmakeittotheirforties,fifties,
andlaterinlifelackingtheclarityIspeakof?Ibelieveitiscrucialtobe
self‐awareenoughtobeabletoarticulateourOneThingandThreePs.
Let'slookatthesebyaskingafewquestions:
I. WhoamIandwhatamIherefor?WhatistheOneThingIam
supposedtoaccomplishinmylife,andwhatdoesthatmeanfor
merightnow?Thatis,whatistoday'sOneThingconnectedtomy
bigOneThing?
II. WhatismyPurpose?HowdoItakemyOneThingandactivateitin
theworld?
III. WhatamIPassionateaboutandhowcanIdomoreofthat?
IV. WhatdoIvalue,andhowcanIdevelopthesePrinciplessothey
definemycharacterfortherestofmylife?
Masteryovertheselfissomewhatdifficultifyoudon'thaveclarity
onthesequestions.Theanswertothesequestionsiswhatgivesyou
directioninlife.Ifyoudon'tknowyourself,whatareyouaresupposedto
dobesidesjustgetby?Lackofmeaningandpurposeisamajorcauseof
despairanddespondencyintheworld.Somewillstumbleuponavague
senseofpurposeintheirprofessionallives.Othershavetheirpurpose
showntothemearlyinlifeandarewellintofulfillingitintheirtwenties.
Ihavefoundthatthevastmajorityofmystudentscannotclearly
articulatetheirpurposeandaredeeplymovedwhentheyuncoverit.
Let'sstepbackandtakealookatyourOneThing.Itishighlylikely
thatyouhaveasenseofyourownuniqueness,thataspectofyouthat
setsyouapartfromothers.ThisuniquenessiscodedintoyourDNAand,
Ibelieve,putthereaspartofyoursoul'syokingtoyourphysicalbody.
Regardlessofyourphilosophicalorreligiousorientation,youmaysense
thatyoursoulwhisperstoyourmindyourdeepestyearningsandhas
propelledyouinsurprisingdirectionsinlife.Ifyouignoredthewhispers
inthepast,myguessisthatyoufeltoutofsortsandmisaligned,likeIfelt
asaCPAinmyearlytwenties.Listeningtoyourinnervoicewillleadyou
toyourOneThingandhelpyoudefineyourThreePs.Thenyoucanalign
theminyouractionsandmarchforthwithconfidenceandpeaceof
mind.
OneofthefinestwaystocultivateinsighttoyourOneThingand
ThreePsistheaforementionedinsightmeditation,contemplation,and
journaling.Youwillstartbyaskingdeeplypersonalquestionsinlayers.
Thisislikenedtocleaninglayersofdustoffamirrorinyourmindto
revealtherealimagebeneath.Lookinginwardandwritingdownwhat
comesupinafree‐flowingmannergetsyouintoanidealstateforthe
intuitiveandcreativeaspectsofyourmindtobeheard.Youwilltrain
yourmindtoentertheseintuitivestatesondemand,andasyoudoso
yourinsightswilldeepenevenfurther.
Iamgettingaheadofmyselfabitthough.Fornow,letuslookat
somedeeperquestionstogetyoustarted.Thesearegoodlayered
questionstoreflectuponandjournalabout:
YourPassion:
Whatareyoupassionateaboutinawaythatdefineswhoyouare?
Whatmakeyoufeelasifyourhairisonfire(besidesafire)?
Whatuniqueskillsortalentsdoyouhavethatyoulovetouseand
thatmakeyoufeeldifferent?
Ifyouwonthelotterytoday,whatwouldyoudodifferently?
YourPrinciples:
Whatisitthatyoutrulyvalueinyourlife?
Howcanyoumovetowardthosethingsyoutrulyvalueandaway
fromthethingsyoudon'tvalueasmuch?
Whatdothesevaluessayaboutwhatyouarepassionateabout?
Dothesevaluespointtoanoverarchingpurposeinlife?
Canyoumakeahabitofthebig,positivevaluessotheybecome
partofyourcharacterandthenyourdestiny?
YourOneThingandPurpose:
Whathaveyoubeenconditionedtothinkyouaresupposedtodo
withyourlife?
Whatdoyouthinkyouarereallysupposedtodowithyourlife?
Whatdoyoufeelyouarereallysupposedtodowithyourlife?
Isthereatinyvoiceofdoubtdeepwithinyousuggestingyouare
onthewrongtrack?
Isthatsamevoicenudgingyouforwardwiththesensationthat
youareontherighttrack?
WhatOneThingdoyouthinkyouareherefor?WhatOneThing
wouldyoufocusonifyouhadnothingholdingyouback?
Whatwouldyoudodifferentlyifyouknewyouhadoneyearto
live?
Writeyourepitaphfromtheperspectiveofhavingfulfilledyour
OneThingandlivedyourpurposeinlife.
WhenAlfredNobelreadanobituaryoneday,hedidnotlikewhat
he saw. It was written about him! Of course it was a mistake by a
reporterafterhistwinbrotherpassedaway.ThereporterberatedAlfred
intheobituaryasthemanwhointroduceddynamitetowarfare,leading
tomillionsofdeathsinWorldWarI.Appalled,Alfredusedthiseventto
findanewpurposeandOneThingforhislife…whichwenowknowwas
thefoundingoftheNobelPeacePrize.
Don't blow off the obituary exercise; it is very powerful. The
assignmentistowritetheobituaryasyouwanttoberemembered,not
as you are now. The person writing the obituary "knew" the major
impactyouhadonothersandtheworld,aswellasall thegoodthings
about you. This may be uncomfortable at first, but focusing on your
legacy canbe very enlightening. Itwill expose the gapbetweenwhere
youarenowandwhereyoucanbeattheendofyour life…ifyoualign
withyourOneThingandThreePs.Onceyoucanclearlyarticulateyour
One Thing and Three Ps, write them down someplace where you can
review them daily (mine are in my smartphone notepad). The new
awarenessofyourdeepestselfmustnowextendtoallthreespheresof
yourlife:theI‐Self,We‐Team,andIt‐Organization.
Three‐SphereAwareness
ThedayafterIlefttheactivedutynavy,Iwassomewhatsurprised
bythechangeinmymentalstateandsenseofself.AdayearlierIhad
beenpartofaneliteteamandacomplexsystem,bothofwhichhada
profoundinfluenceonmythinkingandbehaviors.Myteaminfluenced
mymentaltoughness,mysenseofpurpose,andmyconfidence.My
teammateshadgonetohellandbackwithme,andItrustedthemwith
mylife.IhadforgottenthatIwouldbehard‐pressedtofindthatlevelof
trustinthecivilianworld.Thesystemofthenavywasrigidandclear:I
knewhowmuchIwastobepaid,whattowear,wheretogo,andhowto
acteveryday.Thenjustlikethat—boom—itallchanged.ThatdayIdidn't
havetogotothenavyanylonger,Iwasleftwithoutmyteam,withno
directionsastowhattowear,wheretogo,howtoact,andwhattodo.It
wasanewblankslate,whichwasbothliberatingandscaryasheck!
Anyonewhohastransitionedoutofarigidorganizationalstructure
(evenprison)knowsexactlywhatIamreferringtohere.
Asyoureflectuponyourownlife,youcanseethosemoments
whereyouwentthroughamajorchangeofjob,careers,orevenfrom
schoolintotheworkforceandsufferedasimilarfate.Thebig"aha"for
mecamewhenIstudiedtheIntegralTheoryofAmericanphilosopher
KenWilber.Irealizedthenthatweliveinthreespheres,eacharising
simultaneouslyandeachimpactingtheother.Theyarethe"I,""We,"and
"It"spheres,whichIalsorefertoastheSelf,Team,andOrganizationin
thecontextoftheprofessionalrealm.Thesethreeareallinterdependent
andhavecausaleffectsoneachother.Changeone,andtheyareall
impactedorcollide.Let'stakeacloserlook…
TheIsphereistherealmofyourindividual,subjectiveself.Itis
yourconsciousness,worldview,beliefs,anddesires.Itincludesyour
senseofwhatisright,wrong,beautiful,andugly.Everyoneofusis
utterlyuniqueinourIspheres,andweareintimatelyconcernedwith
thissphere.Whenwesayweareworkingtowardmastery,itisprimarily
inthisspherethatwedoourwork.Thisisespeciallyimportantbecause
itisherethatwedeveloptrustworthinessandauthenticity,whichmust
precedemasteryintheWeorItspheres.
TheWesphereisyourintersubjectivemeaning‐makingspace
sharedbetweentwoormorepeople,alsocalledculture.Wecanbe
experiencedwithinafamily,aworkteam,oratribeoflike‐minded
people.ItisintheWespherethatethicalcodesofconduct,
communicationsstrategies,andleadershipauthenticitydevelop.This
sphereisalsowhereseparationcanbeexperiencedbaseduponthe
disparatedevelopmentalplateausfoundinothermembers(moreonthis
inchapternine).Ifyouhavewonderedwhythereissomuchconflictin
theworld,thenyoucanlookattheintersectionofIandWeatvastly
differentstagesofhumandevelopmenttofindtheanswer.
ButtheIandWespheresdon'texistinastructurelessvacuum.
Bothareboundedbysystems,rules,roles,andbehavioralaspectsofan
organizationanditsmembers.ThesearereferredtoastheItor
organizationsphere.Thisisthebureaucraticorganizationaswellasthe
familysystemanditsbehaviors,ortheteam'sorgchartandthetechno‐
economicsystemit'sembeddedin.
ThisdistinctionofI,It,andWeseemsobviouswhenwereadabout
it,right?Butitisnotreadilyapparentbecauseweareinsidethebottle
andcannotreadthelabel.Itcanbeapowerfulmentalmodelto
understandwhatisgoingonwithourselvesandothersatanygiven
pointintime.Youcanputyourselfinthemiddleofthethreespheresand
askyourselfwhatisrightorwronginyourownI,We,andItspheres.Or
youcaninsertateammateintothemiddleandseehowtheyfarewith
thesamequestion.Themodelgivesusinsightintothenatureofthe
individualandcollectivehumanexperience,whichhelpsusbebetter
peopleandmakebetterdecisions.IbelievethatforUnbeatableMind
performanceweneedtowinallthreespheresbyaligningforoptimal
resultsinallthreesimultaneously.Let'suseanexampleofaphysical
altercationtomakethispoint.
IwaswalkingdownadarkalleyinKualaLumpur,Malaysiaduringmylife
intheSEALs.Isuddenlyfoundmyselfwalkingpastthreeruggedlocals
whopausedwhattheyweredoingtosizemeup.Crap,Ithought,what
amIdoingonthisroute?Itwaslate,andthiswasanotedareaforcrime,
andIhadjustbecomeaWe.IknewthatIneededtomaintainmycool
andprojectstrength,notweakness.IcommittedtowinningmyIsphere
bybreathingdeeply,feedingmycouragedog,andseeingmyselfas
powerfulandincontrol.Thentheyapproached,andonemadeamove
towardme.Isidesteppedhim,turned,andconfrontedtheothers."Big
mistake—Ihavenomoneyandamnotafraidtofightyouall—andIwill
win."Isaidthosewordswhilemaintainingacalmstateofmindand
picturinghandilydefeatingthem.Theysimplygaveeachotheralook,
turned,andwalkedintheoppositedirection.Theyhaddecidedthatthe
WemomentofanaltercationwasnotworthinjurytotheirindividualI
selves.Theirroughandtoughculturefadedintothebackground.A
momentlaterapoliceofficerdrovedownthealleyandgavemeaglance
thatsaid"badidea,American."HadIengagedinafight—theWemoment
ofconflict—thentheItsphereofthelocallegalsystem,aswellasthe
culturalnormsandrulesoftheUSNavy—wouldhavecollidedintomyI
spherereality,makingmylifemiserableeventhoughIhadnotinstigated
thealtercation.ThekeywasthatIwoninallthreespheresbecauseI
understoodthemall.Iwoninmymind(theI),Iwonagainstthecriminal
culturalnormofviolenceandtheft(theWe)byavoidingbeingavictim,
andIwonintheItbynotcrossinganylegalstructuresandboundaries,
whichwouldhavegottenmeintroublewithItauthorities.Whenyoucan
alignandwininallthreespheressimultaneously,youwillcomeouton
topallthetime.
Letmetryanotherstory.Youmeetagirlonanonlinedatingsite
andagreetomeetheratabar.Bothofyouarenervous,andyourI
spheresareexcitedabouttheprospectsandthenewnessofthe
situation.YourWesphereinteractionisgoingfine,untilsuddenlyabeefy
mancomesuptothegirlandstartsgivingherarationofshit.Turnsout
he'saboyfriendshehasn'tbrokenupwithyet.SuddenlyyournewWe
spherecollideswiththisnewcharacterandtherulesandnormsshared
betweenhimandsoon‐to‐beex‐girlfriend,causingyourIsphereto
ratchetuptoawarenesslevelorange(wewilldiscussthatinthenext
section!).Theguyslapsyourdate,soyoujumponhim,andabarroom
brawlensures.Thecopsshowup,andthenextthingyouknowyouare
inthebackofapatrolcarastheItspherenowhasitswaywithyou.You
reflectthatyourIsphereisnowneitherexcitedabouttheprospectsof
thenewfemalerelationshipnorfearfulofthefightwithherthug
boyfriend,butwonderinghowtheheckyouaregoingtogetoutofthis
mess!Howquicklythingscanchange.Whatifyouhadgoneintothis
wholeeveningensuringthatyouwouldwininallthreespheres?Would
youhavedonethingsdifferently?WewilllookatIntegralTheoryagain
inchapternine;untilthen,learninghowtobesheepdogstrongwillhelp
answerthatquestion.
SheepdogStrong
I learnedintheSEALshowtoavoidthreats liketheabovewitha
three‐sphereattitudeandwhatIcalla"sheepdog‐strong"offensivemind‐
set.Today'sworldisevenmoredangerousandchaoticthanwhenIwas
with theactiveSEALs, and itwill likelygetworsebefore it getsbetter.
Becomingsheepdogstrongisanimperativetoprotectyourselfandyour
lovedones in theeventofacrisis.YoumayhaveheardDr.Grossman's
(authorofOnCombatandOnKilling)descriptionofthevastmajorityof
theworld'spopulationassheepgrazing in ignorantblissofany threat,
oblivious, with no situational awareness of what surrounds them. A
smallpercentageofthepopulation,though,iscomprisedofwolveswho
makeittheirbusinesstopreyuponthesheep.Thewolvesareproneto
violence and comfortable taking without conscience. The wolves tear
into theweaker sheepwhile theothers, andsocietyat large,pay scant
attention. However, there is a third, even smaller, percentage of the
populationwhostraddlethelinebetweenthesheepandwolves.Hecalls
them (us) sheepdogs, those individuals who keep their eyes on the
wolvesandprotectthesheep.Thesheepdogisthesoldier,sailor,marine,
coast guardswoman, police officer, and Good Samaritan. During quiet
timesthesheepwantlittletodowiththesheepdogs,feelingtheyarebest
outofsight,outofmind.Sheepdogsmakepeoplenervousbecausethey
sense that the sheepdog is comfortable with violence. Even my own
neighbor, when he doesn't see me for several days, assumes that I've
beengallivantingthroughforeignlandsrollingupthebadguys.Heloves
thataSEALishisneighbor,butmyknowledge,skill,andconfidencemake
himnervous.Perhapshefearsthatinmid‐conversationIwillloseitand
rip his head off. Sheepdogs carry a heavy burden: though trained for
violence,theyareoftenthemostdisciplinedandwell‐adjustedmembers
of society. The sheepdog knows his One Thing and Three Ps and is
committedtomakingadifference.Hisviolencediffersgreatly fromthe
violenceofthewolf.Boundbyastrictcodeofethicsandadutytoserve,
thesheepdogistrainedtocontroltheapplicationofviolencelikeafaucet
meterswater.Itismybeliefthatitisyourresponsibility,armedwiththe
knowledge and tools in Unbeatable Mind, to step up to be sheepdog
strongifyouarenotalready.
RecentlyIreadthefollowingheadline:"LostinSmartphones,San
FranciscoTrainPassengersDidn'tNoticetheGunmanuntilHePulledthe
Trigger."Scary,right?Thesmartphone is justthe latest ina long lineof
externalstimulithathaveallowedustoactlikesheepbytakingoureyes
off the important things in an endless distraction of noise and
entertainment. TV started the trend, web surfing and social media
acceleratedit,andnowtextingandgameplayonsmartphonesisputting
thenailinthecoffinofhumanawareness.Thesheepdoghasnoticedthis
trend,andhedoesnotgetstuckonhissmartphoneinpublic.
Herearesomerulesofengagement:
I. Stop being passive. Commit to being a sheepdog and making a
difference. Pull your head out of the sand, and pay attention to
whatisgoingonaroundyou.
II. Activateyour internal radar.We all have internal radars that can
sense danger, but most people have them switched off. Marine
ColonelJeffCooper'scolorsystemishelpfultolearnthis:
a. Complete ignorance iswhite. Your internal radar is off; you
areintheflockofsheep.
b. Passivealertness isyellow.Thisiswhereyourinternalradar
isswitchedonandpassivelyscanningforthreats.
c. Super‐heightened awareness is orange. This is when your
radar pings a threat and goes active, searching for
information as to the threat level, potential action plans,
resources, escape routes, weapons, etc. You are escalating
yourenergysystems,gettingreadyforafight.
d. Actiontocounterisred.Yourradarisredlining.Thisiswhen
youtacklethejerkwavingthegunbeforehepullsthetrigger.
III. Initiate sheepdog tactics. As a sheepdog you can keep your
smartphonetoconductbusinessandtextforhelp.However,learn
touseitinasheepdogmanner.Herearetheguidelines:
a. Alwaysoperateinyellowwheninpublic.
b. Neverbeonthesmartphonewhilewalking,driving(duh),or
inconversationwithanotherhumanbeing.
c. Whenonpublic transit, scan theenvironmentand sitnear
the backwith a good view of the entire scene. Keep your
smartphoneoffuntilyouarecertainthereisnothreat.Each
time the bus/train/whatever comes to a stop to pick up a
passenger,youturnitoffandrepeattheprocess.
d. Inarestaurantorotheropenpublicspace,enterbyscanning
the surrounding area outside and inside for any potential
threats. If you detect any potential threat, then tune your
radar to actively (but discreetly) scan in that direction. Sit
withagoodviewoftheestablishment,andenjoyyourmeal
or experience. Only check your smartphone in the
bathroom, or, if you must, then request permission from
yourguests.Makeanotherscanbeforeusing,andthentext
awayforafewmoments.
e. Don'tbecomeaparanoidnut.Thesearerecommendations—
Iamnotrecruitingavigilanteforce.Mypurposeistoprod
youtostepitupandbepartofthesolution.Asweworkon
becoming better people every day, let's also step up to
becomesheepdogs.Thatwaywecanprotectthelessaware,
weakerelementsofourwonderfulsocietyfromthewolves.
The sheepdog will develop a mental "binary switch" that turns
controlledviolenceonandoffatwill.The"bambooparty"ofmymartial
artstrainingisagoodexampleofhowItrainedthisbinaryswitch.Four
black belts place large bamboo poles over the ankles, hips, chest, and
finallythethroatofthebrownbeltcandidate.Withinsecondsthemental
lightsgoout…yetananosecondlater,thestudentbreaksfree,shattering
the bamboo poles and sending the black belts rolling. The trainee is
standing,withno ideawhatsoeverhowhe got there. This is "offensive
mind training," where we learned to switch from orange to red in an
instant and then to throttle it back down. My Ninjitsu Sensei, Shane
Phelps,usedto tellmethat Ihadtoalwaysbethe"subject"andnever
the"object"ofthesituationsIenterinlife,especiallyviolentencounters.
Thismeansthatwecontroltheframeoftheexperience,createthelens
thattheotherpersonlooksthrough,andthenwritethescriptofwhatis
unfoldingbeforeourveryeyes.Inthiswaywecontroltheoutcomeand
remainthevictors.
Sowhatifyoudon'tclassifyyourselfasasheepdognowbutwant
tostepuptobesheepdogstrong?Tostartyouwillneedtoelevateyour
awarenesstothe"yellowzone"ofpassivealertnessatalltimesinpublic.
Begintotrainyourselftoseethethreatsbeforetheyescalate.Igaveyou
somepracticalrulesofengagementearlier;nowlet'sstepupour
training.
DogTraining
Sheepdog‐strongtrainingstartswithtrainingyourawareness,but
itquicklymovesfromthat"I‐Self"sphereofpersonalmasterytothe
"We‐Team"sphereofteammastery.Nosheepdogoperatesalone,you
see;ateamisrequiredtotipthebalanceagainsttheviolentelements.
Contrarytopopularbelief,itisteamsoflike‐mindedindividualswho
changetheworld.Thefollowingsetofrecommendationsisofferedto
helpyougrowyoursheepdog‐strongteamanderadicatefear.
Tip#1:Buildasheepdogfamilybystartingimmediatelytomakeyour
familysheepdogstrong.Havethecolorsystemdiscussion,andpractice
awarenessdrills,suchastheKeepinMemorygame(theKIMgameis
describedindetailintheUnbeatableMindAcademyandisawaythat
SEALsusetotraintheirmemoriesandenhanceawareness),travelmind
games,andsensoryawarenessdrills.Havefunwithit,butensurethat
theyunderstandtheimportanceoftrainingthetribe.Ifyoudon'thavean
immediatefamily,thenthisextendstoyourclosestfriends.
Tip#2:Buildasheepdognetwork.Atmytrainingheadquarters,wehavea
networkofsheepdogswhomIwouldalertandrallyintheeventofa
crisissituation.Further,wetalkaboutbeingsheepdogstrongandtrain
foritdaily.
Tip#3:Becomeasheepdogcommunicator.Ifyouobservesomeonewho
isobviouslyapotentialthreat,takenoteandcommunicateittoyour
familyandothersheepdogsinyournetwork.Don'tbeoverlyparanoid,
buterronthesideofcaution,andreportthingsthatyournetwork
believestobeaclearandpresentdangertotheauthorities.Don'texpect
themtodoanything,though;justkeepwatching,andbepreparedtoact
ifnecessary.
Tip#4:Preparemorethanothers.Forinstance,whenyoutravel,takethe
followingactions:
1. Reviewthetravelrouteonamap,andcommitittomemory.
2. Printitoutjustincase.PhoneGPSfeaturesaregreatuntilyour
batterydiesorthesignaldisappears.
3. Picksomegasandfoodstopsalongtheroute.
4. Fillyourgastank.
5. Checktirepressureonallfivetires(don'tforgetthespare).
6. Havea"justincase"bagreadywithsnacks,tools,LEDflashlight,
rags,andmedicalkit.
Tip#5:Beanundesirabletarget!Thisisano‐brainerbutwillrequireyou
tosituateyourselfandactdifferentlyinpublic.Thiscanincludecarrying
yourselfmoreconfidentlyandavoidingareasthatmakeyouvulnerable,
thatarenotwelllit,aredesolate(suchaslargeparkingstructures),or
justmakeyoufeeluncomfortable.Carryahigh‐powerLEDflashlightin
yourcar.Theflashlightshouldbeabletoblastabout1,000lumen,andif
someoneyoudon'trecognizeapproachesatnight',youcanblindthem
withthelightanduseitasaweaponifnecessary.Thelightwillwardoff
99percentofwolvesandgiveyoutimetoescapeastheirnightvision
willbeshotforagoodfiveminutes.
Tip#6:Mentallypreparetodothingsyoupreviouslythought
unthinkable.Thisistoughforsomepeople,andyoudon'thavetogo
crazywithit.Simplyvisualizeyourselfdominatingafightbykickingthe
groin,gougingeyes,andthumpingtheevildoerintheneckwithyour
pipearm.Ifyouwantsomeself‐defensetraining,IrecommendKrav
Magaorattendingourthree‐weekSEALFITAcademy.Whenyoucansee
yourselfwinningthefightinyourmind,thenyouwillbemorelikelyto
respondoffensivelyandnotfreeze.
AveryrealbutextremeexampleisprovidedfromoneofmySouth
Africanfriends.There,carhijackerswouldstoppeopleintheircars,just
shootthem,andthentakeoffwiththeircars.Inthatenvironmentyou
wouldnotwaitforthethugtocometoyourcarbutwoulduseyourcar
asaweaponandgetoutofdodge.Thisisoneofthoseextremecasesthat
wehopewon'thappenintheStates.OnceIwasinKenyaonamission
travelingonahighwaywhenwepassedabuslyingonitsside.Afirewas
burning,andthereappearedtobeinjuredpassengersinside.Ourfirst
instinctwastostopandhelp,buttheKenyanSpecialForcesdriver
skirtedaroundit.Helatertoldusitwasahoneytrapwherethe
perpetratorsweretryingtobaitsympatheticforeignerstostopsothey
couldmugthem,orworse,kidnapthemforransom.Theworldis
dangerousandchaotic…destinysurefavorsthepreparedinbodyand
mind!
Afinalnote:beingsheepdogstrongrequiresthatyousetaside
worryaboutwhatothersthinkofyou.Manymaythinkyourtrainingand
preparationtobeextreme.Don'tmakeabigdealofitbecausethose
samepeoplewillberunningtowardyouifsomethinggoessouth.Atthe
sametime,beverydiscreet,buthavefunwiththetraining.Itisnotmy
intentiontoturnyouintoanoutlier.Quitetheopposite:Iwantyoutobe
aleaderandtobeviewedastheonewillingtogothedistancetotrain
andpreparebody,mind,spirit,andteamforsomeseriouskick‐assifthe
wolfcomesaround.Thisisadmirableand,frankly,necessaryifweare
goingtomaintainorderinaworldgoingslightlymad.Inthenextchapter,
wewillfurtherdevelopmentaltoughnessskillssothatwecanaccelerate
ourperformanceasleadersandwarriors.
ChapterFive:FiveCriticalMentalToughnessSkillsforLeaders
Togettotheheartofdevelopingmentalstrengthandclarity,itis
importanttofirstunderstandtheworkingsofthemindandits
limitations.Withthisknowledgeyouwillbeabletobypassfaulty
thinkingwithtoolssuchasKISSplanning,mentalmodels,and
visualization.Whetheryouleadamultinationalcorporationora
classroomofactivekids,asaleaderyouneedtobementallytoughto
makegooddecisions.Butthatiseasiersaidthandonebecauseyour
mindistrickyandpronetoleadingyoudownthewrongpath.Youcould
saythatitiseasytobecleverbutmuchmoredifficulttobewise.
Wisdommustbetrainedorattainedthroughmuchtrialanderror.The
fivekeystomentallytoughleadershippresentedinthischapterwill
allowyoubreakoldpatternsandmakebetterchoices.Youwilllearnto
avoidthementaltricksandtrapsthatmessyouupandaccessadeeper
levelofwisdom.
Let'sstartbytakingalookattheactualorganofthebrainby
examiningtheevolutionofthethreecomponents,ormini‐brains,that
makeupourwholebrain.Thenwewilllookathowthesepartsofour
brainscauseustobehavethewaywedo.Nextwewillintroduceseveral
mentalmodelsthatwillhelpyouavoidtrapssuchasgroupthink,
procrastination,andanalysisparalysis.Finallywedoadeepdiveinto
howtouseyourmindmorepowerfullythroughvisualizationand
positivity.Tokickoffthisjourney,let'stakeafieldtriptothebrainzoo.
TraintheZooKeeper
I'dbewealthyifIhadadollarforeverytimeIputmyfootdeeply
intomymouthbyjumpingtoaconclusionutterlydevoidoftruthor
operatingoutofsomeBOO‐inspiredbias.Sowouldyou,I'mwillingto
bet.EvenCharlieMungerandWarrenBuffett,whorunBerkshire
Hathawayandareconsideredthesavviestinvestorsintheworld,don't
trusttheworkingsoftheirminds.Instead,theyrelyonmentalmodelsto
helpthemframebetterinvestmentdecisionsandavoidthetrickstheir
mindsplayonthemwhichcanleadtopoorchoicesandflaweddecisions.
Researchoverthelastdecadehaspeeledbackthecurtainonhow
thisbrainzoooperates.UsingMRIandsensitivebrainwave
measurementequipment,scientistshavebeenabletoseewhathappens
chemicallyandelectricallyinyourbrainwhenyouperformcertain
actions.Differentareasofthebrainlightupwithchemicalandelectrical
activitywhenyoudrive,havesex,orreacttostress.Thebrainhasbeen
mappedbaseduponfunctionandcomparedtothebrainsofother
species.Thisinformationistobetakenwithsomeskepticismbecauseof
thecomplexityofthehumanbrainasanorganandtheinabilitytotruly
understandtheworkingsofthemindasconsciousness.
Generallyspeakingtherearethreemini‐brainsthathaveevolved
overtime,eachbuildingontopoftheothertoformthebrainwehave
today.Thesemini‐brainsdevelopedalongourhumanchronological
timelineandhavedifferentroles.Myzoometaphorcomesfromthefact
thatscientistsfavorlabelsrepresentingwhattheybelievetobeour
animalisticpast.Itookthelibertytocontinuethetrendsoastonotfeel
leftout.
TheReptilianBrainisformedfromthebrainstemandcerebellum
andisouroldestbrain.Itisalmostidenticaltoareptile'sbrain,henceits
name.Thereptilianbrainregulatesbasiclifefunctionslikebreathing,
heartrate,andrespiration(fromthebrainstem)andbalance,posture,
andmovementcoordination(fromthecerebellum).Itisalsoresponsible
forhardwiringbehaviorsfrommemories—sothisiswheredeeply
rootedtraininginformationisstoredandretrieved.Itmayalsobesafeto
assumethatthisbrainisacomponentofthesubconsciousmind.
TheMammalianBrainevolvedsome300millionyearsago,soyou
probablydon'trememberithappening.Itiscalledthemammalianbrain
becauseitissimilartothemostevolvedpartofallmammals'brains.The
prominentbehaviorsitregulatesarethefight,flight,orfreezeresponse
andourneedtofeedandreproduce.Itisalsoresponsibleforemotional
behaviorandregulatingchemicalandhormonalactivity.Whenyouget
depressed,youcanblamethemammalianbrain.Butyoucanthenthank
itforregulatingyourbodytemperature,bloodsugarlevels,digestion,
hormonalbalance,andotherimportantthings.Themammalianbrain
housesthepituitarygland,whichisthemasterhormonegland,andthe
pinealgland,whichregulatessleep.Italsoincludesthehippocampus,
whichisyourmemorysortingandstoringtool,andtheamygdala,which
siftsandfiltersincominginformationforthreatsandopportunities.This
sub‐brainislargelyresponsibleforthenegativitybiassoprominentin
thehumancondition.Thefearwolfspendsmostofhistimelurkinghere
andsendingfearsignalstothethirdsub‐brain.
TheMonkeyBrainisthemostrecentadditiontothezooandisthe
seatofawareness,cognition,problemsolving,andcreativity.Itiscalled
theneocortexandisthe"commandcenter,"wherewereason,plan,
intellectualize,analyze,verbalize,andlearn.Itallowsustointerpret
eventsandreacttothemaccordingly.Thisnewbrainofoursisso
complexthatitwoulddoitaninjusticetotrytosummarizeithere.When
someonesaysyouareoperatingoutof"rightbrain"or"leftbrain"
thinking,theyarereferringtothehemispheresoftheneocortex.This
partofourbraindifferentiatesusfromothermammalsandisoneofthe
reasonswehavesuchenormouspotential.Thefrontallobeofthe
neocortexisyour"executiveoffice,"whereintent,focus,andwillpower
conspiretobringyougreatnessormisery.Inyourteensthisareaisnot
fullydeveloped,whichexplainswhyyoumayhavemadepoordecisions
fueledbyyouremotionalmammalianbrain.
Now,itmakessensethatthesemanyanimalsinyourheadneeda
zookeepertokeeptheminline,butwhodoesthatjob?Ihavean
idea…howaboutourwitness?Let'sconsiderthatminditselfexists
independentoftheorganofthebrain.Manyscientistsliketoreducethe
mindandconsciousnesstocorrelatesofchemicalreleasesandelectrical
firingsinthebrain.Don'tbelievethemforaminute.Thosearesimply
by‐productsofthemindperformingtheprocessesofthinking,sensing,
perceiving,dreaming,andfeeling.Yourexperienceofaconsciousmind
certainlyhaschemicalandelectricalcorrelates,butitisamistaketo
conflateconsciousnesswithmerebrainelectrochemicalsignaling.
Studiesofnear‐deathexperiencesandout‐of‐bodyexperiencessupport
thisidea.TheyogisandotherEasternspiritualtraditionsbelievethatthe
mindexistsoutsideofthebrainandevenincludestheheart,belly,and
spinalcolumn,aswellasaconnectiontoauniversalintelligenceofsome
form.Ibelievethatconsciousnesstranscendsyetincludesthematterand
functionsofthebrainitself,thoughitrequiresthebraintofunctionin
ourhumanform.
Toconnectwiththismind,whatIhavecalledthewitness,youmust
trainyourneocortextoacknowledgeandcomplywithit.Onlythencan
yourwitnessbecomethezookeeperanddirecttheactivitiesofthe
animalisticbrain.Theproblemisthatwehavelargelydeniedthewitness
inourculture,insteadidentifyingalmostexclusivelywiththoughtsinour
brainasbeingthemainthing.Theneocortexdoesn'twanttogiveupthe
powerwehaveanointeditwith.Moreover,theneocortexislikeawild
monkey—itispowerfulandfullofpotential,butitisalsodangerousand
notveryproductiveuntilitistrained.Itisconstantlyrunningfrompain
andfeedingonpleasureandgreatlyresistsanyattempttosettleitdown
fortraining!
Wediscussedearlierhowmartialartists,yogis,andmonkslearned
longagothattheycouldtrainthemonkeymindthroughsacredsilence
andmeditation.Whentheydidthis,theyachievedamergingofthe
witness/soulwiththethinkingmind/ego.Thentheycouldoperatefrom
theirwitnesswhilefocusingtheirthinkingmindswithprecisiononthe
selectedsubjectorobjectofattention.Lestyouthinkthisistooesoteric,
thismergingIspeakofisnotunliketheexperienceyouhaveina
momentofflowwhenyouarehighlyskilledinaspecificdomain,suchas
aSEAL,firstresponder,oreliteathlete.Inthemomentofintensity(the
playorcrisis)themindmergeswiththewitness,suchthattime
collapsestojust"now,"andyouarethrustintowhatyoufeelasastateof
flow.Inthesemomentsthefrontallobeoftheneocortexissofocusedon
theobjectofattentionthatanythoughtsareforcedout,allowingthe
directperceptionofthewitnesstooffertherightresponse.Timeand
spaceloosentheirholdandslowdownorwarp.Inthismannerthe
frontallobebecomesyour"flowactivator"toallowthemerge,dissolving
pastandfutureintothemoment.Trainingsothatyoucanactivatethe
flowstateatwilldoestaketime.Thewitnessprocessandsacredsilence
practicesarethebestwaythatIknowoftoactivatethistraining.As
soonasyoubegin,youwillnotethattheanimalsrunningamokinyour
mindtakenoticeandlineuptosupportyouinsteadoffightyou.
Asifthedistractingchatteroftheuntrainedmonkeymindisn't
enoughtomakeyouanxious,thewaytheneocortexinteractswiththe
mammalianandreptilianbrainsisalsoacauseforconcern.In2011
economistandNobelPrizewinnerDanielKahnemanwrotean
intriguingbookabouthowthemindworksindecisionmaking.The
book,Thinking,FastandSlow,providesgreatinsightintothetricksour
animalbrainsplayonus.Kahnemanwonderedhowmuchcontrolthe
neocortexreallyhadoverourthoughtsandactionsorwhethertheolder
brainshadasay.HisworkbasicallyprovesthatourBOOhasabig
impactonourthinkingprocesses.Hiscentralthemeisthattherearetwo
primarymodesofthought;hecalledthemSystem1andSystem2.The
first(System1)isthefast,instinctual,andemotionalthoughtprocess
drivenbyyourmammalianandreptilianbrains.Thesecond(System2)
isthedeliberate,rational,andlogicalcognitiondrivenbytheneocortex.
KahnemannotedthatSystem1isconstantlymonitoringthe
environmentaswellasourinnerspacetoformdown‐and‐dirty
impressionsofthings.Itprobesforinformationimportanttosurvival
andreproductionandwillcalmlytakecareofroutinebusiness—untilit
detectsathreatoropportunityrelatedtoboth.Thenitperksupand
mobilizestheexecutiveofficesintheneocortextostepupandfigure
thingsoutwithmoredetail.
Thechallengearisesinthisinterplaybetweenthetwosystems.
Duetothemassiveamountofinformationflowinginfromexternaland
internalsources,System1mustmakeassumptionsandtakeshortcuts.
AddtothistheinherentlazinessofSystem1(afterall,itmustsave
energyfortheinevitablecrisis),andyouendupwiththeknee‐jerk
reactionsandhair‐triggerresponsesweallmakethatturnoutdead
wrong.Theshortcutsandguessesmadesenseintheolddaysofdetecting
anddefendingagainstthetiger,orcapturingtheheartofthecavegirl
nextdoor,butnowadaysitcangetintheway.Oneinterestingwaythis
playsoutiscalledtheprimingeffect—whereinthebrainwillassociate
newinformationtotheclosestotheridea,whichthenprimesyour
answer.Theprimingeffectiswhatleadstooneofthemorecommon
errorsofperceptioncalledconfirmationbias,madefamousbyMalcolm
GladwellinhisbookBlink(moreonhiminabit).Thisprocessgoes
mostlyundetected,butitseffectsareobviouswhenyoustopandlook.An
exampleKahnemanprovidesisifyouhaverecentlyseenorheardthe
wordeat,youaremorelikelytocompletethewordfragmentso_pas
soup.However,ifyoujustgotoutofthebath,youwouldbeprimedto
readthewordfragmentassoap.
Kahnemandescribesanexperimentinacompanykitchenwithan
honestyboxtopayforcoffee.Theyputapictureofaflowerpotinthe
roomandthenlaterapicturewitheyes.Theemployeescontributed
almostthreetimesasmuchwhentheeyeswerewatchingduetothe
primingeffect!
Considerthissentence:Annapproachedthebank.Ifyouareacity
dweller,youconjuredupanimageofAnnwalkingtowardanATM,butif
youareariverguideyouwouldbeprimedtoseeAnnglideuptothe
riverbankinherkayak.WhenyoubuyaredMazda,isn'titamazinghow
yourmindconfirmsthatpracticallyeveryoneelsesuddenlyownsared
carandtherearenowtwiceasmanyMazdasontheroad?Howcanwe
trustourmindswhenthistypeofgrossmisinterpretationisgoingonall
thetime?
Let'slookatourproclivitytojumptoconclusionswithbias.
System1worksonlywiththeinformationthatithasreadyaccessto.
Whenevaluatingpeople,System1isinclinedtostereotypebecauseifno
otherinformationisavailable,thatistheonlywaywehavetodevelopa
quickimpression.Thisgaveusanedgeinthepast,butthathasclearly
diminishedinvalue.Inonestudy,psychologistSolomonAschasked
subjectstosaywhattheythoughtoftwohypotheticalcharacters:Alan
andBen.Herearethedescriptionsofthetwo:"Alan:intelligent,
industrious,impulsive,critical,stubborn,envious;Ben:envious,
stubborn,critical,impulsive,industrious,intelligent."Asyouhopefully
noticed,thedescriptorsareidenticalbutfortheirorderofdelivery.
SubjectsconsistentlyratedAlanmorefavorablythanBenbecausethe
initialtraitsinthelistimpactedthefirstimpressionmeaningofthetraits
thatappearlater.Thehaloeffect,whereyoutransferatraitsuchasgood
looksontocharacterwhenthereisnootherevidence,isanother
manifestationoftheprimingeffectofSystem1.
Salesprofessionalsarefamiliarwithanothertrickcalledthe
framingeffect.Howinformationisframedaffectshowitisprocessed.My
friendOrenKlaff,best‐sellingauthorofPitchAnything,usestheframing
effecttodominatepitchesforfinancingwithgreatsuccess.Hehas
demonstratedhowpeopleunconsciouslyframeinnegotiationsandhow
youcanbreakyourframesandestablishanewframewhereyouhave
theedge,albeittemporarily.
AfinalexampleofhowSystem1distortsSystem2thinkingiswith
lossaversion.TheSystem1mammalianbrainwillseelossesasathreat
andcauseustoavoidthemattheexpenseofgains.Afterall,threatsare
moreurgentthanopportunities.Considerthefollowingexample:"You
areofferedagambleonthetossofacoin.Ifthecoinshowstails,youlose
$100.Ifthecoinshowsheads,youwin$150.Isthisgambleattractive?
Wouldyouacceptit?Rationallyitisgoodgamblebecausetheexpected
valueispositive.Butmostpeoplerejectthisgamblebecausethefearof
losing$100ismoreintensethanthehopeofgaining$150.Thisloss
aversioncomesintoplayinallformsofnegotiations.Sincelossesarefelt
morekeenlythangains,thesidethatstandstolosewillfightharder
againstitthantheothersidefightsforit.Itisalsoprevalentwhenit
comestocuttinginvestmentlosses,whichiswhywetendtoholdontoa
losingstock.Sellingalosingstockactualizesaloss,whilesellinga
winningstockactualizesagain.System1thinkingwillfavorthelatter
overtheformer.Nowthatwehavebeatthathorseintosubmission,let's
moveontohowtotrainthezookeeperofyourmindsoyoucanavoid
thesetrapsandshortcuttheten‐thousand‐hour"GladwellEffect."
ShortcuttheGladwellEffect
NowthatIhavedumpedliberallyonthehumanbrainforits
shortcomings,Iwonderhowwecanshoreitupforbetterdecision
making.MalcolmGladwell,inhisbookBlink:ThePowerofThinking
withoutThinking,introducesustotheconceptofmentalintuition,which
isgainedthroughdeepexpertiseinanareaoneispassionateaboutand
spendsatonoftimein.Gladwelltellsusthatthosewhomasteraskill,
whetheritbechess,basketball,orfirefighting,areabletorespond
intuitivelytoasituationataglance(perhapsheislookingatthesame
conceptofmergingthewitnesswiththeneocortexIintroduced
earlier?).Thechessorbasketballmovesflowspontaneouslyandare
almostalwaysstrongandcreative.Thefirefighter,whohasasudden
urgetoescapeaburninghousejustbeforeitcollapses,feelsthedanger
intuitivelywithoutknowinghow.
Gladwellpositsthatexpertiseatthislevelisformedfromthe
intersectionofdeepknowledge,expertskill,andpresence.Sobased
uponwhatwehavelearnedaboutthebrainsofar,wecanassertthat
thisexpertiseisdevelopedinthemammalianbrain,whichunconsciously
picksupnuancedcuesinanactivityorenvironmentonehasgreat
masteryover.Themammalianbrain(System1)presentsthesecuesto
theneocortex(System2)atopportunemomentsforadvantage,which
showupasgeniusorcreativebrilliance.Sincethemammalianbrainhas
beenprimedforcountlesshourstolookfornuances,thosearenow
availabletothethinkingpartofyourbrainandshowupasinsights.The
neocortex,whentrainedornaturallyinapresentstateofawareness,will
beabletointerpretthesemessageseasily.
Now,accordingtoGladwell,thecapacityforthistypeof
unconsciousintuitivebehaviortakesyearstohone—atleastten
thousandhours.Buthereisthecatch:Gladwell'sassertionsarebasedon
a"common"untrainedmind.Yes,intuitioncanariseduetodeep
concentrationonanarrowsetofskillsoveralongperiodoftime,butI
believeitcanbeacceleratedgreatlywhenwetrainourmindsasIofferin
thisbook.Scientistsbelievethatwecurrentlyutilizeonly10to20
percentofourtotalbrainpower.Whatifwetrainedourselvestoaccess
more,suchaswithourFiveMountaintraining?Mypremiseisthatwhen
weactivelytrainthemind,thenweareabletoaccessthesameintuitive
geniusthatGladwellspeaksofinmuchshorterperiodsoftime.My
experienceintheSEALsandwithmytraineeshasproventomethatthis
ispossible,thoughIhaveyettoputittoascientificstudyforexternal
validation.
Awordofcaution:Thoughintuitivegeniusisaworthygoal,you
muststilluseatwo‐prongedapproachtotraining.WhatImeanisthatas
youtrainyourmind,youmustalsoexamineyourBOO,orthatintuitive
inspirationyoureceivemaybeprimedwithflawedbeliefs.Thatiswhy
theworkofthelastchapteriscrucialasyoudevelopyourUnbeatable
Mind:BOOexaminationandmentaldevelopmentworkhandinhand.
Thispresentsanawkwardparadox:Doyoutrustyourgutimplicitlyor
useitasaguidewhileseekingexternalvalidation?Perhapsthesituation
willdictate:inanexistentialcrisisyouwillneedtotrustyourgut,butin
amultimillion‐dollarbusinessdeal,itisagoodideatotrust…thenverify.
Thepointisthatevenexpertsremainatriskofmentaltrapscausedby
improperlyinterpretedintuitivemoments.LikeWarrenandCharlie,
SEALsalsoprotectagainstthisbyusingmentalmodelstobetterframe
andbackuptheirdecisions.Mentalmodelsprovideaninsurancepolicy
againstthezoo‐brain'stricksandtraps.
UseMentalModels
It is clear now that erroneous thinking is common and leads to
botched communications andmission failure all the time. The mental
challengesdescribedaboveproducefourproductivitykillers:
1. Procrastination:delayingactionduetoimperfectinformation
2. Perfectionism:delayingactionduetoanimperfectplan
3. Analysis paralysis: delaying action by trying to analyze toomuch
information
4. Groupthink: taking the most tepid action poisoned by the
confirmationbiasofthegroup
Using mental models will speed things up and diminish or
eliminatetheimpactofthesefourkillers.Mentalmodelsframeaproblem
withgoodquestionsandcreatea templatestandard forhowtomakea
decision or create the plan. In the SEALswe used a number of these,
includingtheOODAloop,theMilitaryDecision‐MakingProcess(MDMP),
theCARVERtargetevaluationprocess,andtheSMEACmissionplanning
process. We will discuss two of these and include SMART‐FITS goal
setting as a third. To kick off the discussion, let's review the primary
principleunderlyingallofthesementalmodels:KISS!
KISSPlanning
WhenIplannedmyfirstmissionintheSEALs, Iusedaflipchart
andtheancientartofflowcharting.Thechartwasfilledwithboxesand
arrowsdepictingtheentiremission,fromplanningstagetopost‐mission
debrief.Thebig chunks that required lotsof coordinationwere further
brokenoutintoseparateflowchartswithcontingenciesbuiltin.Itwasa
cumbersomeprocess,tosaytheleast.Butwhenitcamedowntobriefing
theguys,theKISSruleprevailed.Thechartwastossed,andtheoperators
simply asked questions and talked their way through the mission. As
theytalkedweallvisualizedeverythingthatwouldgorightandanything
thatcouldgowrong.Thenwesteppedoutside,boardedthehelo,andjust
did it.Theonlythingthathaschangedsincethosedays isthetoolswe
use. The flip chart has been replaced by a suite of mission planning
software,aprojector,andabevyoflaptops,buttheKISSrulestillapplies.
Atitsmostbasiclevel,itmeansthatwemustfocusonthemostradically
simplemeans to execute a plan. Complexity can lead to confusion and
gridlockinacrisis.
Let'slookatKISSinthecontextofplanning.Keepingthingssimple
meansthatyouwillrelyonagoodenoughplantoavoidthefourkillers
of performance detailed above. A good enough plan aims for an 80
percentsolution.Assoonasyoubegintoexecute,youwillgetfeedback,
andthenyouwillthenimmediatelytweakyourplanwithanothergood‐
enoughsolution.Thusbeginsthesuccesscycle:
KISSplan(SMART‐FITS,SMEAC,PROP)–>F3rapidexecution–>
feedbackloop(OODALoop)–>newKISSplan–>execute–>feedback
TheKISSPlanhas fourcomponents.The first is toselecta target
that FITS the mission. The second is to develop a SMART mission
statement (goal) toattack the target.Third is todefineeitheradetailed
SMEACplanorahastyPROPplantoexecute.Finally,usetheOODALoop
process to continually refine your execution in F3 (fail forward fast)
mode.
With an aggressive fail forward fast orientation, the team will
execute on a good‐enough plan and achieve micro‐victories with
increasingvelocity.TheKISSplanning solutionshunsgroupthink, stops
procrastination in its tracks, and leaves perfectionists wondering how
yousucceededsoquickly.Let'stakeacloserlookatthetoolsinthisKISS
planningprocess.
SMART‐FITSGoalSetting
It is no news flash that properly selected goals, tied to yourOne
Thing and executed with a KISS good‐enough plan, will propel you
towardmissionaccomplishment.Goalsnottetheredtoyourpurposeare
wildgoosechases,andapurposewithoutSMART‐FITSgoalsisafantasy
awaitingregret.Thefunnythingis,though,thatnobodyteachesthisat
anearlyenoughagetoallowformassivesuccess.Wearelefttofigureit
outourselvesbecausetheacademiccommunitydoesn'tknowhowtodo
iteither.ThisskillissoimportantthatitholdsaplaceintheBigFourof
MentalToughnesstaughttotheSEALs.
Let's start by looking at the FITS part of themodel for ensuring
that your goals/targets fit you in terms of skill, timing, and purpose. I
cameupwithFITStohelpselectthepropertargetsforourmissionand
the proper goals for our targets. The process is easy to remember—
essentiallyyouwilluseittoensurethatyourtargetfitsthemissionand
goalfitsthetarget.Itisimportanttonotethatgoalscanbeeither"being"
goalsor "doing"goals. Inotherwords,goalshelpus "do" thingsor "be"
someone. Both are important, and it is good to know which you are
lookingatasyoudecidewhetheritfitsyounow.Beinggoalsaretypically
long‐term goals around becoming a certain type of person or gaining
certain qualities, such as being a good leader. Doing goals are often a
subset of a being goal and include gaining a specific skill ormilestone
requiredformissionaccomplishment.For instance, ifyouhaveabeing
goaltobeawarrior,thenadoinggoalwouldbetoearntheSEALtrident.
IfattendingKokoroCampisamongyourdoinggoals, thenshorterskill
goals,suchastoperformthephysicalskillstostandard,willbewhatyou
workonasyoushootforthebiggoalofKokoroCamp.Thefirstorderof
business when selecting targets or goals is to consider whether it is
tetheredtoandalignedwithyourOneThingandpurpose.Goalsthatare
alignedwith your purpose, and setwith SMART‐FITS rules, back each
other up like building blocks—they set the foundation for your future.
HereistheFITSprocess:
Fit:Doesyourgoal fityouandyour team in termsofyourskills,
resources,time,andpersonality?Isitreasonableoralongshot?Willthe
returnonyourinvestmentintime,resources,andenergybeworthitfor
thisgoal,orshouldyoubelookingatadifferentgoalwithhigherROI?
Importance: Is this goal strategically important to achieve your
mission or purpose?Will your mission fail if you do not achieve this
goal?Isthereanother,moreimportantgoalyoushouldbefocusingyour
preciousenergyon?
Timing: Is this the right time for this goal?What has to happen
firstforthisgoaltobecomearealisticachievement?Istheresomeother
goalortargetwhosetimingtrumpsthisone?
Simplicity:IsthisaKISSgoal?Canyoubreakthegoalintosmaller
micro‐goals to increase the simplicity and your chances of succeeding
andgainingmomentumtowardyourvision?
Onceyouarecertainthatyourtargetorgoalfits,thenyouwillmoveto
step two and state it in SMART terms to maximize your chances of
success. SMART‐FITS goals are precisely and positively stated and
possess attributes for effective execution. First, they are specific and
detailedratherthanvague.Partofthedetailisthattheyaremeasurable
anditiseasytodetermineyourprogress.Inaddition,theyareassessed
asachievable,whichisfirstassessedwhenyoudeterminedthatthegoal
fityou.Achievabilityspeaks toyourskillsandavailableresources.Next
the goal must be realistic, such that you can achieve it within the
timeline proposed without causing a debilitating failure in another
mission or follow‐onmission. Finally, as stated already, the goal must
haveatimeforachievementboundary.Agoaltimeframethatistooshort
ortoolongcansetbeasetupforfailure.
MyfriendKyleMaynardsetagoaltoclimbMountKilimanjaro.The
hitchwasthatKyledoesn'thaveanyarmsorlegs.Manywouldthinkthat
this goal was not realistic or achievable for him. And itmay not have
beenwere itnot forhis incredibledetermination, soheset it asa20X
challenge goal and planned for a long time to achieve it. He ultimately
bearcrawleduptheentiremountain,achievingsuccessbecauseheused
aSMART‐FITSgoalprocess.
TwoyearsagoIsetagoaltoimproveaphysicalskillIneededfor
theCrossFitGames. Ideclaredthat Iwould learntododouble‐unders in
threemonths(tworevolutionsofajumpropeinasinglejumpiscalleda
double‐under).TwomonthslaterIhadn'tgottenevenclose,andIrealized
that I had violatedmy goal settingmethod. I askedmyself,Mark,why
takeonanygoalunlessyouintendtotakeitseriously?TheanswerwasI
shouldn't.Norshouldyou.SoIrevisedmygoaltothis:toperformtwenty
perfect, consecutive double‐unders by March 30. The goal was
specificallystated,measurable(twenty),achievable(atthetimeIcoulddo
aboutfiveinarow),realistic(Ihadplentyoftime,ownedajumprope,
andcouldeasilypracticetheskillthreetofourtimesaweek),anditwas
timebound(Igavemyselfthreemonthsandadeadline).Iwrotethegoal
downandcheckedinwithitweekly.DoyouthinkIhitit?Yes,easyday!
But if I hadn't restated it in SMART‐FITS terms and given it proper
energy,I'dstillbewishingIcoulddoit.
Wearenotdone justyet; it'salso important todevelopastrategy
forexecutingyourSMART‐FITSgoals.Agoalwithoutastrategyislikea
destinationwithoutaplan toget there.Doyouwalk,drive,or take the
busandhowdoyounavigateorgetfuelforthejourney?Manydetailsare
involvedinplanningtoaccomplishaloftygoal.Beginwritingthemdown
in a list, and then establish dates for knocking them down. Use the
SMEAC or PROP method to plan your mission. Then review your
progress on a schedule that is suitable for you. I like to do it daily and
recommendyoudoitweeklyataminimum.
Imentioned earlier that goal settingwas one of the Big Four of
MentalToughness.Thebigfourare:
I. Properlysetgoals
II. Arousalcontrolthroughdeepwarriorbreathing(four‐countinhale
andexhale)
III. Attentioncontrolthroughpositiveself‐talk
IV. Visualization
Buthowdoesgoalsettingimpactmentaltoughness?Well,when
timesgetchallenging,youwillwanttochoosegoalsthatarelaser
focusedongettingyouthroughthehardestpartsofthechallenge.These
goalsareveryshort‐termandpreciseachievement/doinggoals.Those
momentsarenotthetimetoworryaboutbecomingaleaderorvisionary
entrepreneur…no,thosemomentsarethetimetojustsurvivethe
challengeandthengetbackontrackwiththeloftierthings.DuringSEAL
HellWeekIdidn'tsetmysightsonbecomingaNavySEALorgettingthe
trident.Rather,Isetmysightsongettingthroughthenextfewhours.At
nightmygoalwastoseethesunrise.Thenightswerelong,cold,and
demoralizing.Mostpeoplequitinthedeadofthenight,buttherising
sunwassuchaninspiration,anditliterallywarmedourbodiesand
spirits.Suchasimplerule,"neverquitatnight,"wouldhavesavedmany
BUD/Sdropoutsfromthemselves.DuringthedayImadeitagoaltoget
tothenextmeal.Theniftheshitreallyhitthefan,itwastojustget
throughthatevolutionsoIcouldrecover.Ilearnedthatthisprocess
allowedmetoeatanelephantonebiteatatime!
I call this tool the micro‐goal process, whereby your goals
collapsed to very short‐time‐frame achievable goals, allowing you to
createaseriesofshort‐termvictories.Micro‐goalskeepyoufocusedand
present,whileallowingyoutodevelopconfidenceandmomentum.Your
enthusiasmremainsintactbecauseyouarenotfocusedonagoalthatis
toofarouttoseeorfeel.AsImentioned,thesemicro‐goalsleadtomicro‐
victories,whichaccelerateyoutomacrolevelsuccess.Micro‐goalsetting
forces your mind to focus on what's happening right here and now,
ratherthanonwhatmayhappeninthefuture.Focusonthenextmeal,
thenextevent,oreventhenextfootstep,andyouwillmakeithappen.
LetmedigdeeperintowhySMART‐FITSgoalsworksowell.First
off,properlyselectedtargetsensureyouarefocusedontherightthings,
and smartly articulated goals ensure that you are employing the KISS
principlewith focuseddetermination to achieve them.Without refined
targets connected to ourOneThing andpurpose, andwell‐set goals to
keep us focused, we are easily distracted, and our energy becomes
diffused. Properly crafted goals with a strong implementation plan
replacefantasywithrealityandmobilizeyoureffortswithanuncommon
level of commitment. No more wandering or stumbling around in the
darkwithyourpersonalandprofessionallife.
A final note: Effective goal setting facilitates new strategies for
learning and development. If your strategy includes a daily goal review
during your morning ritual and a progress recapitulation during your
evening ritual, there's a high degree of likelihood that you'll remain
focused and persistent until you achieve it. The daily review process
allowsformodificationandshiftingfireastherealitiesofthedailydrive
impactthetimingandrealismofthegoal.Ratherthanacceptingfailure
forsomethingoutofyourcontrol,yousimplyadjustthegoalelementsto
thenewrealityanddriveon.
SMEACandPROP
The SMEAC mission planning process is a simple but detailed
planning model that can be used for any initiative, whether a SEAL
missionorajointbusinessventure.Itisbestsuitedforcomplex,longer
projectsandservesasasortofconceptorbusinessplan.
Situation: The situation is the background study that helps the
teamtounderstandthereasonsbehindthecurrentrequirementtoact.
The SEAL teams call this background "situational awareness" and
believe it iscritical foreveryone tobeon thesamepageregarding the
whyofthemission.
Mission:Themissionisaspecificstatementofwhatyouintendto
accomplish, where, when, and the measure of success. The mission
statementwithanendstategoalshouldbewritteninSMARTlanguage).
Execution: The execution part defines how the mission will be
accomplished. The execution also specifies the involvement of others,
yourcourseofaction,yourintendedresources,andyourPlanB.
Administration: the administration section of the plan defines the
administrativeandlogisticaldetailsthatmustbecoordinatedpriortoand
duringtheexecutionofthemissionorproject.
Commandandcontrol:thecommandandcontrolspecifywho'sin
charge, who reports to whom, and when they report as well as the
format for reporting. So many missions and projects fail due to poor
communicationandaccountability.TheSMEACprocessmakesaterrific
one‐pageprojectorbusinessplanningtool.BoththisandtheOODALoop
mental models are simple and effective tools that provide a standard
operatingproceduretoquicklyanalyzelargevolumesofinformationand
makewisedecisions.
Whenyouneedtoexecutefast,andthemissionissimpletodefine,
but you need to quickly determine the best course of action, then the
PROPtoolisyouranswer.Withthistoolyouwillevaluateaquickcourse
ofactionbaseduponfoursimplecriteria:
Priorities: what are the key priorities that are driving your
mission?
Realities:what are the ground truth realities you are facing, and
whatimpactdotheyhaveonyouroptions?
Options: list themost compelling options for away forward that
youandyourteamhavecomeupwith.
Plan:whatistheplanyoudecidedon?
PROPservesasanexcellentrapidplanningandopportunityanalysistool.
WhencombinedwithSMART‐FITStargetselection,youhaveahandy
toolkitforsolvingmission‐criticalchallengesasyourapidlymove
towardmissionsuccess.
OODALoop
Onceyoujumpoutthedooronamission,theplanningstagesare
over,andnowyouareintorapidexecutionF3stage.Inthisstageofyour
success cycle, you will use the OODA Loop, developed by the late Air
ForceLieutenantColonelJohnBoyd.Thisbrilliantmanwasafighterpilot
who ended up designing aircraft for the Pentagon. He distilled his
instinctualexpertiseintoafour‐stepprocesstosimplifytheteachingof
rapid‐fire, life‐and‐death decision making of aerial combat. OODA is a
KISStoolofthemostelegantform.OODAhasusconstantlyevaluateour
relational position to the enemy (or competition) and make decisions
thatkeepusonestepaheadofthem.Thisishowitworks:
Observe thesituationclosely.What isyourrelativepositiontothe
enemyandhowistheirbehaviorgoingtoimpactyou?
Orient to the reality of your observation. Should you move left,
right, up, or down? Should you adjust pricing or move into the
marketplacefaster?
Decide on a course of action. Depending on the complexity and
stakes involved,thiscanbeasimplechoiceoramorecomplexdecision
afteranalyzingmultiplecoursesofaction.
Act—nothing happens in life until we takemassive action. After
you take that action, youwill immediately observe the impact of your
action. Orient to the results, make another decision, and the cycle
continues. Your goal is to master this loop, seeking to minimize your
team'sperformancetime.Incombat,oranyhighlycompetitivesituation,
a good strategy is to confuse or surprise your opponent into slowing
theirOODAloopprocessingtime.Thusyouaremovingfasterwhileyour
competitor has slowed down, giving your team a great competitive
advantage.Thisrapidplanningtoolisgreatforon‐the‐flyadjustmentsto
yourplanninganddecisionmaking.WhencombinedwithPROP, it is a
powerful tool for optimizing your decisions and shortening your
planning cycles. If you have more time andmust parse throughmore
data,thenfallingbackonthemoredeliberateSMEACprocessmaymake
moresense.
VisualizeSuccess
Youlearnedinthischapterhowyourmindcantrickyou,andthen
youlearnedafewmentalmodelsasaninsurancepolicyagainstthis.The
finalskillofmentallytoughleadersistochangethecontentandenergy
of your mind through structured visualization. Visualization is an
incredibly powerful technique thatwill enhance yourmental strength,
allow you to tap into more of your mind power, and allow you to
accomplishmore challenging tasks. It is the law of "win in yourmind
first," and it is no surprise that great inventors, entrepreneurs, and
athletes all use some form of visualization to create their desired
outcomesintheirmindswhiletheyactpowerfullyintheworld.Itistime
wemadethisaroutineskill.
Visualization is the creation or re‐creation of an external
experience in your mind. Early pioneers of this skill include my own
swimcoachatColgateUniversity.CoachBensonhadmeswimthetwo‐
hundred‐meterbreaststrokeinmymindwithastopwatchbeforebedat
night. Other sports psychologists and top coaches began using
visualization toenhanceperformance in the ‘90'sandmostOlympians
reportusingitwithgreatbenefitintheirtraining.Therearetwomajor
formsofthepracticeofvisualization.
Mentalprojection isvisualizingapersonal futurestateorvictory.
Visualized images create energy around a desired future experience
before you experience it "for real." I call this type of visualization a
Future Me visualization because you are envisioning a future "ideal"
versionofyourself.EarningtheSEALtrident isanexampleofa"future
me" visualization. Achieving a major milestone with a new business
ventureisanotherexample. Ineithercaseyoucreatetheevent inyour
mindwellbeforeithappens.Thevisualizedeventisthenchargedwith
emotions and vivid colors, sounds, smell, and tastes. Youwill reinforce
those visual images through repeated practice sessions. This process
plants a powerful seed in your subconscious mind of the potential
energyfortheevent.Thenasyouworkonthegoal,yoursubconscious
mind goes about supporting you with the resources necessary to
nurture the event to its fruition. In a sense you could say that
visualizationrewirestheSystem1braintoalignwithyourgoals.
The second form of visualization is aMentalRehearsal,whereby
youpracticeaskillorprepareforaneventinyourmind.ASEALplatoon
will "dirt dive" amission to set the patterns for winning in themind
priortoexecutingitforreal.TheSEALoperatorwillwalkthroughadive
profile on dry land while visualizing every detail. In this manner he
performsallthemajorelementsofthedivebeforeevergettingwet.This
wasanimportantpartofmymissionprepwhenIwasatSEALDelivery
Vehicle Team 1. The mini‐sub dives were often six to ten hours in
duration replete with complicated navigation patterns. Dirt diving the
missionspriortolaunchprovedcrucialduringthemissionwhenfatigue
andMurphy'sLawreared theirheads.Themental rehearsal implanted
the route in both conscious and subconscious minds and provided a
memory aid aswell as subtlephysiological cues.Additionally, it helped
identifypotentialchallengesbeforethemissionhittherealityofthedeep
face‐to‐face.
Bothformsofvisualizationcanbeperformedfromthefirstperson
or third person perspective.What I mean by this is that they can be
imagedfromyoursubjectiveframeasifyouhadahelmetcameraon,or
imaged from your objective frame as if watching yourself in amovie.
Eithermethodiseffective;however,mostpeoplestartwiththeobjective
frameandthenmigratetothesubjectiveframeastheygainexperience.
Let'sreviewwhyyouwillwant toaddthispowerful tool toyour
mental tool kit. First, it leads to improved concentration in that the
practice of visualization requires you to develop greater powers of
concentrationdue to the effort required to construct andmaintain the
visual imagery. In the early stages, the training can be frustrating,
especially ifyouhavedifficultyholdingan image inyourmindfor long.
Youmaybemorekinestheticorauditoryinnature;thusdevelopingthe
capacity to visualize will take patience. Second, you will experience
enhancedconfidenceas theresultof thetraining.Whenyoucanclearly
visualizeanevent skill inadvance, yourmentalpractice isacceptedas
real by your body. Though not as visceral as the physical doing of the
event, the visual practice is still felt internally and leads to more
confidenceevery timeyoudo it.For instance, researchhasproventhat
effortlesslythrowingabasketballintoahoopvisuallyleadstothesame
performancegainsasdoingitforreal.Thistranslatestomoreconfidence
as actual improvements in the skill accrue. Next, closely related to
confidence is the greater emotional control youwill experience. If you
fear performing to some degree,whichwe all do (especially for scary
thingssuchaspublicspeaking),visualizingtheperformancerepeatedly
willdampenthatfearresponsewhenyouperformtheeventlive.Afinal
note on visualization:When donewell, a visualized event involves the
sensationsoffeelings,emotions,andsoundstosupporttheimagery.The
objectiveistocreateasrealisticamentalrepresentationaspossible,asif
youarereallyexperiencingit.Thatiswhyitisreallyimportanttoensure
thatyourimageispositive,powerful,andasneartoperfectaspossible.
BeaMoraleOfficer
Thefinaloftheskillsformentaltoughnessispositivity.Youlearned
inchapter three thatyourmind ischarged through lifeexperiences to
be either positive and courageous or negative and fearful. Internal
dialogue and beliefs affect your thought patterns and impact
performance. Further, you learned earlier that the nature of the
mammalianmindistoconstantlyscanforthreatsandbepoisedtoreact
to them. Is it any wonder that our minds feel a constant pull toward
negativity?
Itisimperativethatyoutrainyourmindtobea"moraleofficer"
whoisinchargeofyourownmoraleandthemoraleoftheteam.You
achievethisbyremainingpositive.Positivityalignswiththeuniversal
lawofattraction.Apositivestateofmindattractspositivesupportand
teammatestohelpyouaccomplishyourgoals.Positivityisalso
imperativeasyoustrivetodevelophigherstatesofconsciousnessand
spiritualgrowth(seechapternine).Itiseasytogetstuckinnegativity
duetohowourbrainsworkandbecausewecaninternalizenegative
associationsfromcircumstancesthatimpactusdeeply,suchasadeath
oratrauma.Bymaintainingavigilantwitnessinourmindsand
constantlyfeedingthecouragewolf,negativitywillatrophy,and
positivitywillpropelyoutohigherstatesofconsciousness.
I found theworkof the lateDr.DavidHawkins tobeparticularly
valuable in this area of research. In his book Power versus Force, Dr.
Hawkins parses consciousness energy into levels of negativity and
positivity. He goes into great depth about the feelings and associated
behaviors of each level. Note that when one acts below the level of
courage, he or she is in negative territory. Your goal is to condition
yourself to feed the couragewolf to remain at the level of courage or,
better, above, in optimism, forgiveness, acceptance, and love. The
positivity stages that strengthen performance and develop your
consciousness, shown in progression from high to highest positive
energy,are:
1. Courage
2. Trust
3. Optimism
4. Forgiveness
5. Acceptance,Understanding
6. Reverence,Love
7. Joy,Serenity
8. Peace,Bliss
Negative attitudes attract like energy and weaken the mind and
body,degradingperformanceandlifeingeneral.Furthermore,ifallowed
to dominate by feeding the fear wolf, these energies will interrupt
growth and lead to stagnation at lower levels of consciousness. The
constant drumbeat of negativity fromnetwork news, negative self‐talk,
or gossip exacerbates this problem. The negativity stages thatweaken
performanceanddegradeconsciousness,showninprogressionfromlow
tolowestenergy,are:
1. Pride,Scorn
2. Anger,Hate
3. Desire,Craving
4. Anxiety
5. Grief,Regret
6. Apathy,Despair
7. Guilt,Blame
8. Shame,Humiliation
Changing the negative belief and dialogue to a positive one will
dramatically impact performance—personally and with your team.
Usingthewitnessprocess,younowhaveapowerfultoolformaintaining
positivity. Identify the space between a thought or emotion and the
reaction. As you witness negativity, interdict it (cancel out negative
thoughtpatterns),andthenredirectthemindtowardoneofthepositive
patternsnotedabove. Interdiction isdonewithapowerstatement that
will interrupt the negative thoughts and energy. Once the negative
thoughtpatternhasbeensuccessfully interdicted, it ismaintainedwith
your jingle/mantra, such as "looking good, feeling good, oughta be in
Hollywood!"
Incidentally,Ididnotmentionthisinchapterthree,butourbodies
must get into this game aswell. A power statement can be supported
with a power posture. Saying, "I got this"while slouched in a defeated
position is self‐defeating. Your subconscious mind will feel the weak
position and override the power statement. Better to stack the deck in
yourfavorbycombiningapowerstatementandmantrawithapowerful
bodyposition.AteamexampleofthisoccurswhenIsensethefeardog
nippingatSEALFITtraineesduringagruelingworkout.Iwillshoutouta
powerstatementandthrowmyarmintotheairinapowerposturesign
of strength. The attitudes and body language of the athletes change
immediatelywhentheyjoinin,asifjoltedbyaboltofpositiveelectricity.
Soon they are smiling, and theworst of the suffering is behind them.
Sprinkling in a dose of humorputs the finish on your role as amorale
officer.
TheSEALshaveaclasstitled“TheBigFourofMentalToughness.”
The four skills that they coverwe have now discussed in detail. I will
quicklyreviewthem,andincludeagraphicforreference:
1. ArousalControl:usingdeepbreathingtomanagestressandthe
arousalresponse(fight,flightorfreeze).
2. AttentionControl:learningtocontrolyourmindandmaintaina
positiveattitudethroughpositiveself‐dialogue.
3. Visualization: using mental imagery to ensure that your
emotional andmental “picture” ismission focused and aimed
towardvictory.
4. Goal Setting: learning to setpropergoals, and scaling them to
micro‐goalswhenthegoinggetstough.
Nowthatweunderstandtheintricaciesofourmindsandhavenew
skills formentally tough leadershipandkick‐assperformance, let's turn
our attention to developing powerful values thatwill lead to character
excellence. After all,what you show to theworld through your actions
defineswho you are to them. Aswe said in the SEALS, "one 'oh shit'
wipes out a thousand 'attaboys.'" First impressions are lasting, so you
hadbettermakeitagoodone.
ChapterSix:SixPowerVirtuesforCharacterExcellence
One'scharacterultimatelybecomesthemost importantaspectof
successor failure, allelsebeingequal.Youcanbehighly skilled, super‐
smart,good‐looking,charismatic,andhardworking.Withthesetraitsyou
willattainsomelevelofsuccess.Butifyoulackcharacter,ultimatelyyou
will fail. At a minimum you will be left wondering why you have not
achievedtruepeaceandhappinessalongwithyourmaterialsuccess.
What is character? It is holding an impeccable quality in your
thoughtsandactions.This impeccabilitymustbepracticed—itdoesnot
simply accrue automatically. Character's quality of thought has many
forms; the ones we recognize most are the virtues of honororable
integrity, truthfulness, trustworthiness,andhumility. In thischapterwe
will lookatsixcharacter traits thatyouwillwant topracticeuntil they
becomeinalienablepartsofyourcharacter.
"Q"wasatalentedandrespectedSEAL.Ontheoutsideheappeared
to have strong character; to be a SEAL, one had to exhibit unusual
character tobeginwith.However,hisactionsproved tomehowmuch
charactermust be trained, refined, and then constantly watched. On a
dangerous shipboardingmission,Qheldakeypositionwithmy team.
Halfwaythroughtheop,whilewewereunderthehulloftheship,things
spiraledoutofcontrol.Iwasnotawareofwhatwasgoingonbecauseit
wassodarkanddisorienting.Inthosecriticalmoments,thefocusofeach
teammatemustbeatitspeak.Qwasstrugglingandwasnotabletofulfill
his task,whichcausedacascading failure to rippledown theswimmer
line.Myplatoonchief,bigRobLaskey,waspulled to thebottomof the
oceanwithouthisdiverig.FortunatelyRobwasasanexceptionaldiver
andverycoolinacrisis.Heworkedhiswaytothesurfaceandsurvived
to deal with Q face‐to‐face. What led to the breakdown was not the
technicalmess‐upbuta failureofcharacter inQ.Heputhimselfabove
his team when he decided to use a recreational drug while off duty,
rationalizingthatwhathedidonhisowntimewashisownbusinessand
whatwedidn't knowcouldn't hurtus.But the job and commitment to
theteamrequired100percentfocusandmentalclarity.Anythingshort
ofthatwouldputeveryoneatriskintheintenseandconfusingplaceswe
operated.Inthehigh‐riskenvironmentsweoperatedin,characterflaws
wereexposedveryfast.Butinbusinessorotherdomainsinlife,itmay
take longer fora flaw tohave its inevitablenegativeblowback.Youmay
get by for a period of time, long enough to see some success, but to
succeedatthehighestlevelsasaleader,youmusthabituatethevaluesof
awarriorintoyourcharacter.Thentheyensureyourdestiny.
The word value depicts a quality or trait of something that we
uphold as valuable. Value is defined in the dictionary as a deeply held
beliefworthyofaspecificbehavior.Wevaluecertainbehaviorsandseek
tolivethosevaluesthroughouractions.Wealsoseektobemorevaluable
to society and our families. Values are justwords unlesswe choose to
practice them and make them a habit, whether in private or public.
Acting in alignmentwith a value inpublicbutdoing something else in
privateisacting;itisnotthesameasupholdingthevalue.Thispointis
often missed by public figures. Greek philosophers were so adamant
about character that they believed it defined one's value as a citizen.
Heraclitus said that "character is destiny," andAristotle toldus that "to
enjoy the things we ought to enjoy…has the greatest bearing on
excellence of character" and "no onewhodesires to become goodwill
become good unless he does good things." More recently RalphWaldo
Emerson advised that "character is higher than intellect," and Albert
Schweitzersaidthat"exampleisnotthemainthinginlife…itistheonly
thing!"Thesephilosophersareinagreementthatwhatyouractionsare,
whether inpublicorprivate, speaktoyourcharacter. It isn'twhatyou
thinkorsaythatismostimportant;itistheactionsyoutake,especially
when no one is looking. So the question is: Do you act with warrior
valuesinpublicandwhennooneislooking?Ifsothenyoudon'tneedto
finishthischapter.MyhunchisthatbothyouandIcanalwaysworkon
thisaspectofourselves,soIhopeyoureadon!
Withouranalysisitshouldbeclearthatvaluesareskillsthatmust
becarefully selectedand thenhabituated.Now it is time tomove from
thinking and talking about what we value—for instance, trust—to
learning how to behave in a trustworthy manner at all times. Which
warriorvaluesholdthemostcharacterpower?Thisishighlysubjective,
butIwillofferyoumytopsix.Thesewillprovidefodderforalifetimeof
workonyourpathtoself‐mastery.
TrustworthinessandLoyalty
ThefirstvaluethatQcompromisedthatgrimdayunderthewater
wastrustworthiness.Trustworthinessisthegluethatholdsrelationships
andteamstogether.Itisevidencedwhenanindividualdisplaysqualities
inactiondeemeddependablebyothers,suchas:
I. Theyarealignedinthought,word,anddeedandthusdisplay
integrityintheiractions.
II. Theyfollowthroughonallcommitments.
III. Theyarecourageousanddon'tshirkfromresponsibilitiesor
challengingassignments.
IV. Theydon'trunorhideduringacrisisbutratherstepuptoleadand
helpout.
V. Theyarecompetentenoughtogetthejobdonewelloratleast
havetheinsighttoasktherightquestions!
VI. Theyarehumbleanddon'tneedtotakeallthecredit.
VII. Theyaresupportiveoftheteamanddelegateandtrustthem.
StephenM.R.Covey,inhis2009bookTheSpeedofTrust,offersa
simpleformulaforhowtrustacceleratestransactionsbetween
individualsandorganizations:
IncreasedTrust=IncreasedSpeedandDecreasedCost
DecreasedTrust=DecreasedSpeedandIncreasedCost
Considerlifepre‐9/11andthecreationofthewonderful
bureaucracy,theTSA(TransportationSecurityAdministration).Before
9/11wehadahighleveloftrustinairtravelasasociety.Duetothe
severeandshockingbreachoftruston9/11,thespeedofairtravelasa
wholehasdecreasedbyroughlyanhourdomesticallyandoftenmore
thantwohoursinternationally.Yourtimeandout‐of‐pocketcostshave
goneupsignificantly.Youcanapplythisformulatoanyinteraction
betweenindividuals,teams,organizations,andmarketsandfindthatitis
true.
Sotrustworthinessisacharactertraitthathasreal‐world
transactionalimplicationsbeyondone'sreputation.InQ'scasethetrust
hebreachedduetohisuntrustworthybehavioralmostkilledsomeone
andjeopardizedthemission.Inabusinesscase,abreachoftrustcan
causeatransactiontofail,degradeone'sreputation,andincreasecosts.
Personalandteamtrustworthinessmustbeplacedonthehighest
prioritylist,measured,andpracticed.Buthow?Herearefivesimple
steps:
1. Alwaysmeetyourcommitments.
2. Domorethanisexpectedofyou.
3. Dothingsfasterthanexpected.
4. Achievebetterresultsthanexpected.
5. Doalloftheabovewithintegrityandwithlittlefanfare.
Let'slookatafewcommonmythsabouttrustandthendispelthem.
I. Trustworthinessisasoftskillonly.Wrong.Trustisacombination
ofsoftandhardskills.
II. Trustworthinessisdevelopedslowly,overtime.Wrong.Itcanbe
createdanddestroyedquickly.Thekeyistodevelopthehabitof
maintainingtrustworthinessatalltimes,whichtakesdiscipline.
III. Trustworthinessisjustaboutintegrity.Wrong.Thoughintegrityis
criticalfortrusttodevelopbetweenparties,itgoesbeyond
integrityandspeakstoone'swholecharacter.
IV. Oncelost,trustworthinessisgoneforever.Wrong.Youcanmake
amends,sayyouaresorry,andthenrebuildtrust.
V. Inbusiness,itissimplytooriskytotrust.Wrong.Trustand
trustworthinessaretwosidesofthesamecoin.Ifyouare
trustworthyandmustdealwithapartyyouknowtobe
untrustworthy,thentrustwillnotexist,period.Simplytransact
businessandverifyresults.Realprogress,however,ismadewhen
bothpartieshaveahighleveloftrustworthiness.
VI. Trustworthinessisonlyrelevanttoindividualsandteams.Wrong.
Organizationshaveareputationbaseduponthecollective
trustworthinessofeachpersoninit.Theirtrustworthinessis
displayedinhowtheircustomers,peers,andsocietytreatthem.
Whenitcomestodevelopingtrustworthiness,whatbehaviorscan
youworkontoturntrustworthinessintoawarriorvirtue?Hereare
someideas:
I. Talkstraight—avoidspins,lies,doubletalk,andflattery.
II. Demonstraterespect—takeyoureyesoffyourself,andputthemon
yourteammates.Showthatyoucare.
III. Createtransparency—avoidwithholdinginformationandkeeping
secretsunlessabsolutelynecessarytoprotectintellectualproperty
ortopreventsomeonegettinghurt.
IV. Rightwrongsquickly—weallscrewup,soadmitit,andrepair
thingsasfastaspossible.
V. Showloyalty—don'ttakeallthecreditorsellothersout.Don't
gossip!
VI. Deliverresults!
VII. Getbettereveryday!
VIII. Clarifyexpectations—ensurethattheexplicitandimplicittasksof
yourmissionandthosethatyoudelegatearecrystalclear.
IX. Practiceaccountability—startwithyourself,andthendemanditof
yourteamandorganization.Butthebuckalwaysstopswithyou.
X. Listenfirst—practiceauthenticlistening.
XI. Keepcommunicatingwithbrutalhonesty—usethebriefand
debriefprocesstokeepcommunicatingatalllevelssoyoucan
alwaysbelearningandhelpingotherslearn.
XII. Learntotrustothersbydelegatingandgivingmoreresponsibility
andthenprovidingsupportwhentheinevitablefailuresoccur.
Openupthedialogueabouttrustworthinesswithyourteam,andbe
willingtoexposeyourselftovulnerabilityanddirect,honestfeedback.
Youmaybesurprisedatwhatyoulearn,andthediscussionalonewill
increasetrust.Let'scommittobuildingtrustbyforgingourown
trustworthinessandleadingbyexample.Indoingso,yourqualityof
loyaltywillalsorisewiththetide.
Loyalty is built upon trust and helps to glue families, teams, and
tribes together, sometimes to a fault. Loyalty requires respect,
accountability, and love. Loyalty can be displayed by supporting a
teammatewhomesses up or by placing your team'swell‐being before
your own, like Lieutenant Murphy did in Operation Redwing. Loyalty
transformsrelationshipsbyforgingabondofbrotherhoodorsisterhood,
evenwhenthereisnofamilialbond.Therelationshipofthoseinaloyal
bondistransformationalversustransactional.Liketrust,itisatwo‐way
street in that loyalty isearned throughmutualaction.Loyal teammates
don't toleratenegativity,backstabbing,oractivities thatharmthe team.
Loyaltyrequiresthatyouexamineandshoreupyourweaknessessothat
you can carry your own load to support the team.Q's actions showed
thathisloyaltywasmoretohimselfthanhisteam,soheletthemdown.
Trust and loyalty, when accompanied by honor and integrity, lead to
high‐performingteams.
HonorableIntegrity
Thewordintegrityshowsuponthevaluelistsofmostindividuals
and organizations. But that is where things stop. The problem is that
integrity is relative unlessmeasured and framedwith a positive ethos.
Otherwiseitcanbeabignegative.Youwouldbehard‐pressedtoargue
thatHitlerdidn'texhibitgreat integrity in thought,word,anddeed.His
integritywasframedwithnegativeegoandethnocentricity.Thehorrific
result was xenophobia, deep suspicion, war, and ethnic cleansing.
Integrityframedwithpositivehonorwillbuildtrustandloyaltyandlead
togoodresults.Ihaveoftheardthephrase"leadershipisdoingtheright
thing,whilemanagementisdoingthingsright."Ithinkpeoplearereally
talkingabouthonorableintegrityinthatstatement.
And just how does one determinewhat is the right thing to do?
Knowingwhatisrightcomesfrompracticinghonorableintegrityinthe
search for truth. Aligning thoughts, words, and deeds in a truthful and
honorable manner takes serious work, especially after learning how
messed up our thinking can be. It requires courage and discipline
because the decisionswe are required tomake are going to be tough.
Recall President Clinton's behavior when in office. He was a smart,
pleasant,andremarkablyeffectivepolitician.Yethestillcouldn'ttakethe
"hardrightaction"even thoughheknewwhat theconsequencescould
be.Hedisplayeda lackofhonorable integritybybreaching the trustof
his office and lying about it. These gaping characterdefects are a sure
sign that authentic leadership was absent. Though one may aspire to,
andevenattain,greatpowerpositions,authenticleadershipwillremain
beyondone'sgraspwithoutthevirtueofhonorableintegrity.
One of my Kokoro students did an about‐face 10 feet before the
turnaround point on a run. He thought he was alone in the dark, but
thereweretwosoulswatching.Oneof themwasaSEALFITcoach,and
theotherwashimself.Hewasheldphysicallyaccountablebythecoach,
but itwas his own consciousness that caused him to feel regret for a
long time. Cheating, especially on the small things that seem
inconsequential,neverpays.Theshort‐termgainisovershadowedbythe
regretorshamethataccompaniestheinevitableexposureofthelie.Itis
alsoveryeasytositbehindakeyboardandpretendtobesomethingyou
are not. I have helped expose a college professor, several successful
businessmen,andevenastatesenatorwhoallfalselyclaimedtobeNavy
SEALs.Iamstillstunnedatthelackofhonorableintegritytheydisplayed
to develop a phony public persona and then to attack those who
challengedthemonit.
Aligningthoughts,words,andactionshonorablydoesn'tmeanyou
havetoalwaystellthetruthorturninafriendwhoslipsup.Thereare
manysituationswherewisdomwoulddictateasensitiveresponseovera
blanket policy. I can think of scenarioswhere saying nothing is better
thantellingthetruth.IwasoncecontactedbyaSEAL'sdaughterlooking
forinformationaboutherdad'sheroicexploitsinVietnam.Theproblem
wasthathewasnotaSEAL.Thenewsputmeinadilemma:Wasitmy
job toexpose thisperson's fraudandprotect the integrityof theSEAL
name?Howwouldthegirl's lifechangewhenshe foundouther father
had been lying to her for her entire life? Was it my job to be the
executioner in this case? I decided the answer was no; I would not
exposetheman'sfraudtoher,leavingittohimtolivewithhisdishonor.
Thepracticeofauthenticcommunicationisagreattooltodevelop
this value. Seek to speakonly ifwhatyouhave to say is true, it is also
helpful(wise),anditcomesfromaplaceofpositivity(love).Thenfollow
upyourwordswithaction to fulfillyourpromises.With thisguideline,
much can be left unspoken, and what is spoken has power. Then the
actions that followareanchored in truth,wisdom,and loveaswell.My
guessistheworldwouldalsobebetterforthesilencethatwouldresult!
FollowtoLead
When I was a newlyminted ensign in the SEALs, I knew I was
supposed to lead.Butwhenrecruited intomy firstplatoon, Ididn't set
out to actively lead themenbut rather to follow and learn from them,
seekingtoearntheirtrust.TheyknewIoutrankedthemandthatIwould
beheldaccountable if anythingwentwrong.But theunstated rulewas
that they would protect me in that event. This experience was a
powerful lesson: to lead youmust first learn to follow. Following and
leadingare twosides to thesamecoin;youcan'thaveonewithout the
other.Thosewhoseektoleadwithoutbeingwillingtofollowmaywinin
theshortrun,buttheytypicallyfailinthelonggame.Thisisnotatrick
or tactic of leadership but rather another character trait thatmust be
developedthroughexperienceand intent.Takingyoureyesoffyourself
andservingyourteammatesrequiresthatyoufollowandsupportthem
mostofthetime.Whenthetimeorcircumstancesareappropriate,you
getoutfrontandleadthembyexampleandwithinspiration.
Thus,Ifeelthebestwaytocultivateauthenticleadershipisnotto
jumpinand"earnyourstripes"(unlessyouhavenochoice)buttowatch
carefullyandbehelpfulasa follower.Agoodruleof thumb is to try to
maketheleader'sjobeasierthroughyouractions.Youwillgainthetrust
and respect of the team, andwhen needed youwill be called upon to
lead.Your timewill comesoonwith thisattitude. Ifyou force the issue,
youcanputyourselfandtheteamatrisk.Considerthatinastrongteam,
every teammate has the capacity and character to lead. Everyone is
simplyawaitingtheopportunitytoserveinaleadingrole.
ResponsibilityandAccountability
Anothervaluecoupletthatrequiresconstantvigilanceandpractice
tohabituateisresponsibilityandaccountability.Responsibilityhasmany
levelsandpresentsitselfinmanydifferentforms.Warriorsandspiritual
leaderstakeonthehighestformofresponsibility:forthelivesofothers
and thewell‐being of the human race. Corporate leaders aremeant to
accept responsibility for their organizations and teams, andweare all
individuallyresponsibleforourthoughtsandactions.Anorganization's
transactionwitha customer conveyswith it the responsibility to fulfill
their end of the bargain. You can see howbeing responsible has a big
impact for the development of trustworthiness and loyalty. Ignoring or
abdicatingresponsibilitybreachestrustanderasesloyaltyquickly.
Accountability is the flip side of responsibility.When responsible
for something or someone, you are held accountable for the
consequences if thingsgowrong.Notice that there isnoaccountability
when thingsgo right; that is expected.When thingsgowrong iswhen
yourcharactergoesondisplay.Weobserveafailureofcourageinleaders
whentheydon'tacceptfullaccountabilitywhenthingsgosouth,suchas
withPresidentClinton.Imagesofpoliticalandbusinessleadersdenying
involvement in scandals and pointing the finger far exceed reports of
leadersacceptingaccountability.IamalsoremindedoftheCEOofBritish
Petroleum,TonyHayward,andhishandlingoftheDeepwaterHorizonoil
spill in 2010. Hayward was cavalier and downplayed the risk, even
denying fullaccountabilityofhis firm.Ultimatelyhiswordsandactions
diminishedtrustamongshareholdersandtheboard,andhisjobcameto
adisgracedend.
Accountabilityextendstoyourteammatesaswell.OneoftheSEAL
ethosstatementsisto"takeresponsibilityforyourownactionsandthe
actionsofyourteammates."This isaburdengladlyacceptedwhenyou
workwiththoseyoumusttrustwithyourlife.However,whentheriskis
lower,as inmostprofessions,that levelofaccountabilityisrare.Ifeach
member of the team could make the mission and the team his
responsibility,andbeheldaccountabletothatstandard,youwouldhavea
powerfulmultipliereffect.
TheOnlyEasyDayWasYesterday
WhenIfirstsetfootontothefabledBUD/Straining"grinder,"Isaw
thesaying"TheOnlyEasyDayWasYesterday"(TOEDWY)writteningold
on blue above the asphalt. It is a simple yet profound statement that
becameadailycompanionasmycharacterwasgrounddownandrebuilt
overninelongmonths.Didthesayingmeanthatyesterdaywaseasy,or
that todaywas going to be harder than yesterday?Nope; none of that
mattered.WhatitmeantwasthatIhadtodeliverresultswithallIhad—
right here and right now. Itmeant I had to showup and put out 100
percentandthendoitagaintomorrow.Thememoryofyesterdayiseasy
because it is over, and tomorrow hasn't happened yet, so don'tworry
aboutit.Justfocusonnow.
Thatsayingwasspeakingtotheneedtodevelopdiscipline.Likeall
of our values, discipline requires practice. The dictionary defines
disciplineastheabilitytobehaveinacontrolledandcalmmanner—even
during difficult or stressful situations. It alsomeans to have conscious
self‐control in directing or changing your behavior when you learn a
betterway.ThusTOEDWYencouragedustodisciplineourmindstostay
focused 100 percent everymoment sowe could learn new skills, gain
new knowledge, and perform under duress. Those who accomplished
thishadtheprivilegeofservingalongsideAmerica'sfinestwarriors.
The lastof theSEALethosstatements is "Earnyour tridentevery
day."ThisandTOEDWYarecloselyrelated,butearningyourtridentevery
dayisareminderthatthedestinationisneverthegoal.Onceyoubecome
aSEAL,itisthenincumbentuponyoutomastertheskillsofwarriorship
andtobecomeagreatteammate.Thetrainingisendlessandrelentless.
Youarenever"there"andcanneverrestonyourpastaccomplishments.
Thisvirtueisanotherpowerfulguidingprincipleforyourlife.Theworld
changessofastnowthatyoucan'taffordtothrottlebackortakethings
for granted. If you do, you will soon find yourself on the sidelines,
wonderingwhathappened.Manycompaniesandindividualsinthepast
decademadethismistakeandfaceddemiseorlossofacareerbecauseof
it.Warriorsdiscipline themselvesbyembracing the "theonlyeasyday
wasyesterday"principle,astheystrivetoearntheirtridentanewevery
day.Ultimatelytheyfindgreatinspirationintheacceleratedlearningthat
resultsfromthislevelofcommitmenttotheirworkandtraining.
FailureIsNotanOption
DuringDesertStormaSEALbuddyofmine,LieutenantDietz,rana
highlysuccessfuldiversionmissionthattrickedSaddamHussein'sforces
intobelievingtheUSMarineswerestormingtheirbeach.Itwasaclassic
SEAL operation, but during the planning they struggled with how to
movehuge amounts of explosive to shore. Bringing theC‐4 in by boat
would risk being spotted. Swimming it in was problematic because it
wouldrequiretoomanytripsandexposetheteamtosharksortobeing
spotted. A younger SEAL suggested floating the C‐4 haversacks in on
boogie boards. After a fewmoments of disbelief, Tomdecided he liked
the idea and sent a request for blacked‐out boogie boards to the
headquartersinCoronado.Thedesk‐boundcombatvetwhoreceivedthe
request said "'What the hell? I thought we were fighting a war over
there!'"Oncetheoperationalnatureoftherequestwasunderstood,the
boards were sent, and the mission was a success. There are a couple
pointstothisstory:First,SEALswill"findawayormakeone."Second,
theywill never giveup.Theybelieve that failure isnotanoption. This
doesn't mean that they can't fail; rather it means that the concept of
failure is not an option. You don't fail; you find away,make away, or
learnagainhownot todo something. Learningwhatdoesn'twork and
creating a new way is a success. With this approach to learning and
executingmissions,youcan'tfailinthetraditionalsenseoftheword.You
simply keep trying until you succeed, learning through trial and error
alongtheway.
To become as innovative and persistent as a SEAL requires a
higherdegreeofrisktoleranceandcommitmenttothetask.Itmuststart
withyourself‐dialogue.AsYodaimplores,"doordonot;thereisnotry!"
Never say something can't bedone, and if youdecide todo something,
then commit to seeing it through. Learn to adapt, improvise, and
overcomeanyobstaclesasyoufindawayormakeone.Forthisprinciple
toberealistic,youmustensureyourgoalsareSMART‐FITStargets.Add
theseadditionalselectioncriteria,andyouwillfindthatfailureisnotan
option:
I. Beoptimistic,andexpecttowin.
II. Makesurethatthegoalisverymotivatingtoyouandyourteam.
III. Seriouslydesiretowinorachievethegoal.Askyourselfhowbadly
youwantthevictorybeforeyoudecidetoact.
IV. Understand the delta (difference) between your skills and
knowledge now and what will be required to succeed at a high
level. If the delta is toomuch to overcome in the time frame you
have,thenyoushouldwaveoffandchooseanothermission.
V. Ensurethatyouhavethementalandphysicalcapitaltopullitoff
inawaythatdoesnotimpactothermission‐criticalgoals.
VI. Onceyoucommit,thenburnyourboats,pressforward,andnever,
everquit!
Asyouembarkonestablishingyourownpersonalethos,itwillbe
inspiringtoreadtheNavySEALethos.Theethos(andshortercode)isa
greatsetofvaluestomodelinyourownlife.TheSEALtakegreatpains
tohabituate thesevalues throughrigorousdaily trainingaswellas the
exampleofthewarriorsthrougheachsuccessivegeneration.Hereitis:
TheNavySEALEthos
Intimesofwaroruncertaintythereisaspecialbreedofwarrior
readytoanswerourNation'scall.Acommonmanwithanuncommon
desiretosucceed.Forgedbyadversity,hestandsalongsideAmerica's
finestspecialoperationsforcestoservehiscountry,theAmerican
people,andprotecttheirwayoflife.Iamthatman.
MyTridentisasymbolofhonorandheritage.Bestoweduponme
bytheheroesthathavegonebefore,itembodiesthetrustofthoseIhave
sworn toprotect.Bywearing theTrident I accept the responsibility of
mychosenprofessionandwayof life. It isaprivilege that Imustearn
everyday.
My loyalty to Country and Team is beyond reproach. I humbly
serve as a guardian to my fellow Americans, always ready to defend
thosewhoareunabletodefendthemselves.Idonotadvertisethenature
ofmyworknorseekrecognitionformyactions.Ivoluntarilyacceptthe
inherent hazards ofmy profession, placing thewelfare and security of
othersbeforemyown.
Iservewithhonoronandoffthebattlefield.Theabilitytocontrol
myemotionsandmyactions,regardlessofcircumstance,setsmeapart
fromothermen.Uncompromisingintegrityismystandard.Mycharacter
andhonoraresteadfast.Mywordismybond.
Weexpect to leadandbe led. In theabsenceoforders, Iwill take
charge, lead my teammates, and accomplish the mission. I lead by
exampleinallsituations.
Iwill never quit. I persevere and thrive on adversity.MyNation
expects me to be physically harder and mentally stronger than my
enemies.Ifknockeddown,Iwillgetbackup,everytime.Iwilldrawon
every remaining ounce of strength to protect my teammates and to
accomplishourmission.Iamneveroutofthefight.
We demand discipline. We expect innovation. The lives of my
teammatesandthesuccessofourmissiondependonme—mytechnical
skill, tactical proficiency, and attention to detail. My training is never
complete.
We train forwarand fight towin. I stand ready tobring the full
spectrumofcombatpowertobear inordertoachievemymissionand
thegoalsestablishedbymycountry.Theexecutionofmydutieswillbe
swiftandviolentwhenrequired,yetguidedbytheveryprinciplesthatI
servetodefend.
Bravemenhavefoughtanddiedbuildingtheproudtraditionand
fearedreputationthatIamboundtouphold.Intheworstofconditions,
the legacyofmyteammatessteadiesmyresolveandsilentlyguidesmy
everydeed.Iwillnotfail!
TheSEALCode(ShortVersionoftheEthos)
Loyaltytocountry,team,andteammate
Servewithhonorandintegrityonandoffthebattlefield
Bereadytolead,readytofollow,andneverquit!
Takeresponsibilityforyouractionsandtheactionsofyour
teammates
Excelaswarriorsthroughdisciplineandinnovation
Trainforwar,fighttowin,anddefeatournation'senemies
EarnyourTridenteveryday
ChapterSeven:Seven"ToughTeam"Tools
Uptothispoint,wehavefocusedondevelopingpersonalmastery
andanUnbeatableMind.ButhopefullynoneofyouisaRambooperating
solo, avoiding human contact. No, I imagine you operate as part of
several teams, which include your family, work teams, and an "inner
circleoffriends"team(orsportteam).OnethingInoticedwhenIwasin
the SEAL Teams was how much a powerful team elevated me as an
individual.Conversely,crappyteamsbroughtmedownandcausedmeto
belesseffectiveandpowerful.Thispointisanunderappreciatedaspect
ofteams:Theteamaffectstheindividual justasmuchastheindividual
affecttheteam.Onebadapplewillspoilthebunch.Thisprincipleisvery
importantandshould impacthowyou recruit, select, acculturate, train,
andmaintainpeakperformancewithyourteam.
Myrecommendation is thatyouelevate teamperformance to the
samelevelaspersonalperformancebecausetheyareintimately linked.
Strive to bring your teams into the Unbeatable Mind philosophy and
trainingframework.Thepurposeofthischapteristoopenadialogueof
howtodojustthat.Teamtrainingcantakemanyforms,andthedesign
depends upon howmuch time you can afford to commit, your budget,
and thenatureofyour job.Whetheryouplanbrownbag luncheswith
roleplay,monthlyin‐housetrainingusingcasestudiesormockmissions,
orfieldtripsforaropescourse,Irecommendyougetseriousaboutteam
training. When I was in the SEALs, the units that took training more
seriously than others far outperformed. Team training should not be
seenasarandomoccurrenceoranuisancebytheleadership.Forthose
teams that rely on physical work (the warrior, first responder, and
industrialathlete)thereisnobettermethodofteamtraining(asidefrom
skilltraining)thanawell‐designedworkoutprogramsuchasSEALFIT.A
teamworkoutwillrampupcamaraderie,accountability,andrespecton
theteam.Performanceaccelerateswhenateamworksouttogether.
Here are ten guidelines for team training to set the stage for
success:
I. Participationshouldbemandatory—sharingriskandexperienceis
akeyfactorinateam'sdevelopment.
II. Checkegosat thedoor—participation, teamwork,andbesteffort
faroutweighimpressiveperformanceinatrainingevent.
III. If it is a physical challenge, ensure youhavemethods for scaling
things for those lessphysically capable.Thepoint is toprovidea
vehicleforgrowth,nottohurtorembarrassanyone.
IV. Someone must lead. The leader should plan the session, brief it,
debriefit…andparticipate.
V. Change leadership roles often during training to give others a
chance to experience the role and share the wealth and
responsibility.
VI. Insist on accuracy before intensity—make sure proper form is
followed before intensity or weight loads are ramped up (for
physical training). When consistent accuracy is evidenced in
action,thenitisOKtodialitup.Anoteonaccuracy:thisappliesto
countingrepetitionsandfullrangeofmotion.Nothingwilldestroy
trust quicker than a teammate cheating on rep count or
shortcutting range of motion on a movement. No one wants to
watchateammatedohalftheworkinhalfthetimeandthentake
creditforcominginfirst!
VII. Engageexpertstotaketheteamtoahigher level:hireacoachor
subjectmatterexperttocomespendsometimewiththeteam.
VIII. Haveeveryoneparticipateintheplanning,organization,setup,and
cleanupofthetrainingevents.
IX. Safetytrumpshard—developanawarenessofriskfactors,planto
mitigate the risk, and ensure that safety of the team is more
importantthanpoundingyourwayontothebench.
X. Havefun!Trainingshouldbesuper‐funandrewarding.Ifitisnot,
thentakeahardlookatwhy.
Are there other tools and tactics to train a tough team to drive
towardteammastery,wheretheteammatesserveeachother,don'tquit,
andachievevictorytimeaftertime?Let'sfindout.
FunctionalTeamTraining
Ifyoucanperformphysical fitness trainingwithyour team, then
doit. It ishighlyrewarding.Thetrainingshouldbefunctionalanddone
together as a team (as opposed to just offering an open gym
environment).It ismuchmorefunandrewardingtotrainwithateam,
anditdevelopsleadershipandteamcohesion.Functionaltrainingmeans
thatyouaretrainingthebodyoftheindividualsandthecollectiveteam
to move naturally. For instance, in a typical globo‐gym, you have
complicated machines that isolate the body so you can work a single
muscle group. But howoftendo you isolate your body so you can just
moveyourarmtothrowsomethingoryourlegtoclimbatree?Itseems
prettysillywhenyoustopto thinkabout it.Wedon'tmove in isolation
naturally, sowho had the genius idea thatwe should train our bodies
thatway?
Anotherdefiningattributeoffunctionalfitnesstrainingisthatitis,
well,hard.WehaveasayingatSEALFIT:wedotodaywhatotherswon'tso
we cando tomorrowwhatothers can't.The point is that hardwork is
goodforyouandshouldn'tbeavoided.Ourpopcultureandgovernment
have vilified anything hard as "bad." This is a shame because humans
grow through hard work and atrophy when things are too easy. The
culture of "easy" is perpetuated by the media and conglomerate
corporationsthatpandertothenaturaltendencytomovetowardshort‐
termpleasureattheexpenseofwhatisgoodforyouinthelongrun.At
SEALFIT, hard work is defined as intense and gut‐wrenching work,
whichhappenstoalsobeasintenselyrewarding.Oftenitislong,suchas
the fifty hours of nonstop training in Kokoro Camp or the three‐week
special ops academy's dawn‐to‐dusk training. This type of functional
hardwork forgesmental toughness and a non‐quitting spirit. Training
this way develops a "new normal" for what hard means. Many of our
SEALFITathleteswhowentontobeSEALstellmethattheactualSEAL
HellWeekwaseasyforthemafterdoingKokoroCamp.Hardfunctional
team training builds grit and makes you more useful to your
organizations,families,andcommunities.
MindGamesandChallenges
Working harder is just part of the solution; structuring team
training to develop the awareness of the team turns it from a one‐
dimensionaltoamulti‐dimensionaltrainingtool.Expandingyourteam's
senseofwhatispossibleallowsthemtoperformbeyondpreviouslimits
onothertasksaswell.Iofteninjectmindgamesintotrainingtorequire
traineestotapintotheBigFourMentalToughnessSkillsofmicro‐goals,
breathing,positivity,andvisualization.Herearesomeexamplesofmind
gamesIuse:
False summits:We're at the end of a grueling, fast‐paced six‐mile
run. The finish line looms ahead, you see the training center, and you
begintoanticipatetheendtoyouragony.You'realmostthere…justafew
more seconds…wait! Uh oh…why aren't they stopping? Suddenly your
worldisrockedasyouadjusttothenewreality.Somedropoutbecause
theycan'trecoverfromtheletdown.Iamsureyoucanunderstandhow
valuable this training is to buildmental and emotional resiliency. How
ofteninlifedothingschangerightwhenyouthoughtyouhadit,thatyou
were there! Can you shift on a dime to refocus your efforts with
enthusiasm?The falsesummit training teachesyou to forgetabout the
letdownimmediatelyandpositivelyleanintothenewreality.
Chaos: move faster…drop down…on your feet…drop down…just
who is in charge of this goat rope anyhow? Chaos can be extremely
disorienting and the feeling of being out of control very demotivating.
Thesimulationofchaoscaninducefearandanout‐of‐controlfeelingthat
mustbeovercometosolvethechallenge.Thismayelicithowlsofprotest
at first, but educate the team that the point is not to harass but to
inoculatethemagainstfailurewhenchaosandrapidchangesetin.Itwill
happen, so imagine how valuable it would be to know you are all
preparedwhen itarrives.The teamwilldevelopemotionalcontroland
maintaincalminthecenterofanystorm.Thisisoneofmanytacticsthat
weuseatKokoroCampthathasgreateffect.Butitishardto"get"from
thesidelines…itmustbeexperiencedpersonally.Whendoneinphysical
training,itmustbeexpertlydelivered.OneofthereasonsKokoroCamp
has a worldwide reputation for its authenticity and ability to generate
real breakthroughs is ourwillingness to perform this level of training
andthecarethatwetakeindeliveringit.
Youwantmetodowhat?Gotothechallengebeforeitcomestothe
team.WhatImeanisthatyouwillbechallengedinyourlife—evenwith
life or death challenges. You and the team will be better prepared to
handle them with resiliency if you deliberately challenge the team
beyondthenorminadvance.InUnbeatableMindAdvancedTraining,we
haveamonthlychallengethatisaphysicalandmentalexerciserequiring
serious commitment. Many of them seem unreasonable at first, but
when you complete them, confidence and internal strength are
dramaticallyenhanced.
Challenges don't have to be physical, though I have found that if
youcanfindorcreateachallengethathasaFiveMountainnature,your
growth will be greater. That is why Kokoro Camp is so effective—it
workson thetraineephysically,mentally,emotionally, intuitionally,and
spiritually.However,challengeswithoutthephysicalcomponentcanstill
beveryeffective,suchaschallengingyourselftomasteranewlanguage
or a musical instrument, or an extended period of service in a third‐
world village. A spiritual challenge, such as a ten‐day silent retreat, a
thirty‐day yoga immersion, or a vision quest, is amazing as well. The
pointistochooseachallengeandgotoit!
Challengescanbemajor,likethosecitedabove,butevenasmaller
monthlychallengewillgoa longway tokeepingyouonyouredgeand
acceleratingyourgrowth.Belowisalistofmonthlyphysicalandmental
challenges you can take on. Be sure to thoroughly prepare for each
exercise,scaleasnecessary,andblockoutsomepost‐challengerecovery
time.
Safetytip#1:Makesureyoulistentoyourbodyduringachallenge
event.Ifapotentialinjuryislooming,don'ttrytogutyourwaythrough
it.Backoff,andtrythechallengeanotherday.There'snoreasontorisk
injury to prove something. Doing the following challenges with your
teamwillbegreatfun.
20Xchallenges—scaletotwo‐thirdsforintermediateandone‐thirdfor
beginners
1,000push‐ups
1,000sit‐ups
1,000pull‐ups
100ropeascents
1,000eight‐countbodybuilders
1,000burpees
3,000KBswingsinthirtydays
One‐milewalkinglungewearingatwenty‐poundvest
When ready, try the first one to understand how shattering a
paradigmbuildsextremeconfidenceinyourabilitytopushthroughself‐
imposedlimitsandmeetyournew20xfactor.
Safety tip#2: Ifyouora teammate isuntrained,don'tattempt to
execute these exercises. Visit SEALFIT.com to check out the online
training,orattendaSEALFITLevel1Academy.Trainhard,butbesmart.
PromoteFailureandRiskTaking
Frankly,itshouldnotbeasurprisetoreadthatifyousitonyour
laurelsanddonottakerisks,youwillnotgrow.Thesameappliestoyour
team,whichwillbetimidandunsureunlesschallenged.Yourteammust
beopentofailinginordertolearn.Thereforeyoumusttakerisks.Failure
andriskaregoodthingswhenplannedandmanagedproperly.Another
example from SEALFIT Academy will help illustrate the point. I will
sometimesdesignatrainingeventsothatitcannotbeaccomplished.The
trainees get a sense that not everything can ever go as planned. They
mustlearntoadaptonthefly.Thefailuremomentisavividteambuilding
opportunity as they communicate under pressure to come up with
another solution.Whatwentwrong?Whatwouldwork better?Where
should we go from here? In the team debrief, you can give them
feedback,suchasaskingwhattheylearnedaboutthemselves,whattheir
reactionwas to themindgame,andhowtheycanrespondbetternext
time.Asyourteamdevelopsafailforwardfastmentality,youcanelevate
the levelof risk—crawl, thenwalk, thenrun.Themorechallenging the
event,themorevaluablethelessonsandthedeeperthemastery.
ThereIsNoIinTeam
If you've ever had the privilege to be on a great team, such as a
winning sports team or an elite special ops team, you'll implicitly
understand the saying "there is no I in team." Aside from the obvious
point that a team is a group of Is coming together to accomplish a
mission,therealityisthatoncetheteamisformed,theIyieldstotheWe.
So teammatesmust come to the team and then take their eyes off of
themselves,puttingthemontheirteammatesandthemission.
Somemaythinkthatyouloseyourselfwiththisapproachwithall
that focus on others and not enough on yourself. That is false. What
actuallyhappensisthatyounowhaveanentireteamlookingafteryour
interests.Yourinterestsalignwiththeteam'sinterests.Thatisoneofthe
reasons why you will grow stronger on a strong team versus a weak
team.Thebottomlineisthatteamtrainingmakesfortoughteamsfullof
tough individuals. The individuals are tougher than they would be if
operating as sole practitioners. Elevate the team above the individual,
and hold the team accountable to that standard. Watch your team
performance and attitude improve dramatically, which will positively
impactperformanceinallotherareas.
GetReal
SEALs pride themselves on training more realistically than any
otherspecialopsforce.Whenthecallcomestogetinthefight,itisjust
anotherday.Infact,IwasponderingthiswhenIsawthemovieCaptain
Phillips,aboutthemerchantskippertakenhostagebySomalipirates.A
fewoftheSEALsniperswhoendedthatscenariowerebuddiesofmine,
and they said it was "just another op," in spite of the media frenzy
around their remarkable sniper skills. They had trained so long and
realisticallyforthattypeofmissionthatwhenthecallcame,itwasn'ta
big deal. In fact, the movie does a great job of portraying their
nonchalanceastheysaunteroffaftertheop.Theywerenothigh‐fiving
and lining up for the cameras.What great behavior to model: Just do
yourjobwellwithoutanyexpectationoffameoffortunefordoingitwell.
BettertobelikeaSEALandsimplyvanishintothebackgroundtoawait
yournextassignment.
Let's look at this concept for your team's training. Whatever
trainingisrightforyou,makeitasrealaspossible.Seethegym,range,
orcasestudyasanartificialenvironmentusedto trainwhenyoucan't
get out into the real world. Then try to get into the field for realistic
trainingasoftenaspossible.Dothingsthatreplicatetheactualjobofthe
team. For SEALFIT that means we do exercises that look like what a
specialoperatormayfaceinthefield,suchasropeclimbs,weightedbox
steps,andfarmercarries.
The more your training is like the real deal, the more mentally
prepared your teamwill be. Theywill have a "been there, done that"
state of mind because of the simulated environment. Seek to prepare
them for the known as well as the unknown through the realistic
training.TheSEALethossays,"Wetrainforwar,fighttowin,anddefeat
ournation'senemies."Welearnedthatthemoreonetrainsinpeacetime,
thelesstheywillbleedinwartime.Traintowin!
UseStandardOperatingProcedures
Standardoperatingprocedures(SOPs)arestandardizedprocesses
for routine tasks that carry great risk if not done the sameway every
time.Anexample is theSOP foraSEALassault teamenteringahouse.
Imagine the chaos if they did it a different way every time or if one
memberoftheteamdecidedhehadabetterwayofdoingit.Itwouldbea
mess. Imagine a pilot and copilotwinging the takeoff procedures for a
747.Notgood.Whenitcomestotrainingteams,SOPscanbeagreattool
fordevelopingtoughteamsbecausetheygeteveryoneperformingtothe
samestandardandingrainingthatroutineintheirSystem1minds.This
frees up the individual's higher order, System 2 mind for creative
solutions to other complex challenges that inevitably arise. Recall that
the System 2mind represents anywhere from 5 to 20 percent of our
accessedbrainpower.Theother80percentorsoisaccessedbygetting
out of your thinking mind and into your non‐thinking mind (aka
subconsciousmind).SOPshelpusdothatatateamlevel.
What routine tasks can be built into SOPs for training?Here are
someideastoconsider:
I. ThestructureofatrainingplanitselfcanbeanSOP.Theperiodicity,
duration, and event layout can be done in a similar format and
sequenceeverytime.
II. The pre‐training preparation can be an SOP. This includes the
equipmentprep,individualprep,thebrief,andthewarm‐up.
III. The flow of the training can be an SOP. How the teammates
interact to support each other and keep the training sessions
movingalongbetweenelementscanbestructured.
IV. Thedebriefandpost‐trainingfeedbackloopcanbeanSOP.
V. ThecommunicationprotocolscanbeanSOP.
Great teams strive to standardize routine tasks like those above
(and that list applies to any type of training, not just physical skill
training) so that time is notwasted reinventing thewheel every time
someonenewcomesontheteam.NewideasandimprovementstoSOPs
areencouraged,butnotonthefly.Thepost‐trainingdebriefistheplace
todiscusschanges,whichcanbeimplementedinfuturetraining.
KeepItSimple,Again
ThisKISSprincipleisbackbecauseitappliestoteamtrainingalso.
Iwillkeepthisshortbecausewehaveaddressedthisprincipleindetail
already.Thebestteamtrainingissimplebutnoteasy.Icantrainateam
betterwithabunchofheavyrocksthanallthefancyequipmentinGold's
Gym. Simple tools and methods lead to more creative solutions and a
morefunctionallyeffectiveresult.Youmayhavewastedalotoftimeon
fancycomputersimulationsorcomplicatedmonitoringequipmentthat
had little impact on teameffectiveness.KISS applies to the equipment,
methods,andmovementsselected.InphysicaltrainingIshyfromoverly
complexexercises.Forteamtrainingagoodlog,alargespacewithapull‐
upbar,andabunchofdumbbellscandothetrick.Getcreative,andbuild
yourownstuff.
Complicatedtrainingandworkoutswithcomplicatedexercisescan
confuse or even injure your team. Keep it simple in terms of tools,
workoutprotocol,instructions,andorganization.Keepthementalclutter
to a minimum. Measure success with benchmarks to build team
confidenceandenhance team fortitude.Asyour teamgets tougher,you
willgettougher,andyouwillprogresstowardmasteryasanindividual
andleader.
In the next chapter,wewill examine somemore character traits
you should expect to naturally cultivate on your path to mastery. The
virtues inchaptersixare foundational to livinganexceptional life.The
traitsinthischapterarethoseofmastery.Asyouwatchforthesetraitsin
yourself and others, they will serve as signposts that you aremaking
progress.Youwillalsoknowwhenyouareinthepresenceoftheright
individualstosupportyourjourney.
ChapterEight:EightTraitsofMastery
William Wallace leading his clansmen in the movie Braveheart,
King Leonidas leading his Spartans into battle in the movie 300, King
Arthur, Spartacus, The Last Samurai, and now the modern‐day SEAL
MarcusLuttrellofLoneSurvivor fame.Thereare countlessexamplesof
thewarrior‐leaderarchetype inourmediaculture,somerealandsome
contrived. The reason they show up again and again is that these
individualsareso inspiring.Theircharacter isdifferent,andtheyseem
todrawpowerfromamysticalplace.Theyarelargerthanlifeanddisplay
traitsofmastery,suchasbeingunflappablewhenchallengedtothedeath,
intensely certain in the midst of the most grim circumstances, and
embracingthesuck.Youmayknowareal‐lifemasteryourself,likeIdo.
My first mentor, Tadashi Nakamura, displays all of the traits of
mastery introduced in this chapter. Earlier I provided insight into Mr.
Nakamura'sstoicstrength,beginner'smind,anddisciplinedapproachto
his life.Hischaracterandexamplecontinueto influencemetothisday.
Manyothers,inallwalksoflife,arequietprofessionalsstrivingtoliveup
tothestandardsthat thetraitsrepresent.Sooneror later thewarrior is
calledtostepintothebreachandserveinawaythatappearsbeyondthe
call of duty. My friend and SEALFIT Coach Glen Doherty is one such
warrior. Glen stepped into a shit storm in Benghazi, Libya, to rescue
Americansinharm'sway.Heandhisteammatesdidnotwaitaroundto
betoldwhattodobutstrodeforthwithcourageandconvictioninspite
of the risk. They exhibited single‐point focus, uncommon resolve, a
positive mind‐set, discernment, a high pain tolerance, unflappability, a
heightened awareness, focus on the welfare of others, and a humble
acceptance of their responsibility. Their actions were directly
responsibleforsavingmanyAmericanlives,butledtotheirowndemise
ontherooftopoftheirsafe‐houseduringthefight.Asyouembarkupon
yourownUnbeatableMind journey, let thesacrificesof thesemenand
theirtraitsofmasteryserveasaninspirationtostaythecourse!
Single‐PointFocus
King Leonidas was so focused on defeating the Persians at
Thermopylae that hewaswilling to fight to the death to prove it. His
examplewas so inspirational to thosehe led that threehundredofhis
most disciplined warriors followed him to the last moment. What
Leonidas understoodwas that this victorywas not about his personal
valorbut about the survival of theentireGreekwayof life. Itwasn't a
militaryvictoryhesoughtbutamoral,symbolicvictoryofthebrave,free
Spartanover theenslaved, fear‐ledPersians.Sowithsingle‐point focus,
Leonidas led his men in the most challenging battle of their lives. He
didn'tletdiscomfortorminorchallengesdistracthimfromhisvisionand
mission.Thoughheandhismen lost thebattle, theywon thewar, and
Greecewenton to inspireourWesternwayof life.Were it not forhis
single‐pointfocus,wemayallbespeakingPersian.
A similar example could be made of Winston Churchill and his
unwavering focus on defeating Nazi Germany. The Brits could be
speaking German now had he not held his course. These warriors
steppedintothebreachtosaveentirecultures,nottheirownskins.That
selflessdeterminationisthewarriors'way.
At amorepractical level, single‐point focusallowsyou tonarrow
your attention to only the most important things that impact success
rightnow.Allelseisignored,shuntedtoalaterdate,orsubordinatedto
anotherperson(delegatedinbusiness).Whentherisksarehigh,suchas
on a parachute jump, it is this focus that ensures survival when an
accident occurs. If a physical altercation occurs unexpectedly, it is this
focus that allows one to dominate the opponent. It is alsowhat allows
serial entrepreneurs to succeed time and again with new business
ventures.
UncommonResolve
Ittookmeconsiderableresolvetowritethreebooksinoneyearin
2013whenIfinishedTheWayoftheSEAL,8WeekstoSEALFIT,andthis
one all in an eleven‐month period. Some may call that uncommon
resolve.Thesamekindofresolveisrequiredforanygoalorprojectthat
has an unreasonable level of challenge. Getting through SEAL training
requiresuncommon resolve.ABUD/S class is finishingHellWeek as I
write this.Theystartedwith175studentsandnowhave27remaining
afteronlyfourweeksoftraining.Thatmeans148ofthetraineeseither
gotinjuredorlackedtheresolvetogothedistance.
Isresolveaqualitythatcanbedeveloped?Ofcourseitcan—itisa
natural corollary to forgingmental toughness. You develop uncommon
resolve by deepening confidence and courage, fortified with five
attributesthatdefinethecharacteroftheresolved.Theyare:
I. Desire:youmustdesiretheoutcomeasifyourhairwereonfire.
II. Belief: you must believe in your purpose, your mission, and
yourself.
III. Attitude: you must have a positive attitude, drive, and be able to
mobilizeateamwithit.
IV. Discipline:youmustbewillingtogiveupunnecessaryattachments
and commitments and put in the right amount of daily effort
towardyourgoal.
V. Determination: you must have an unwavering commitment to
finishthejob,staythecourse,andnever,everquit.
Ifyourresolverequiressteppingintothebreachatriskof lifeor
limb, as Glen Doherty did in Benghazi and Michael Murphy did in
Afghanistan, then you will require each of these attributes in full
measure—adesiretoserve,deepbeliefinyourskillsandtherightnessof
theaction,anattitudeof"willdo"versus"I'lltry,"thedisciplinetopullit
off, and the determination to go the distance…regardless of the
consequences. Imagine how powerful your actions would be if you
appliedtheseattributeswiththatsamelevelofcommitmenttoanygoal
inlife?Idareyoutotryandfindout!
PositivelyOffensiveAttitude
Nomatterhowshittythingsget,youneedtofindthesilverlining,
letgoofanyattachmenttothemisfortune,andthenmoveon.
Maintainingapositivemind‐setisthefirstpartofthistrait.Then
extendingthatpositivityintoanoffensive,all‐the‐timeattitudewilltake
itfromapassivequalitytoonewithexplosivepower.Themainoutcome
isthatyouwillneverletcircumstancesoranotherindividual,team,or
organizationcontrolyouractions.Youwillbeonestepahead,dictating
thenextmove.Thisdoesnotsitwellwithhard‐coreanalyticaltypeswho
wanttoknoweverystepofaplan.Ratheritrequiresgreatflexibilityof
thoughtandactionandawillingnesstoshiftonadimewhenthe
circumstancesdictate.
WhenIsetoutonanewventureorproject,Iexpecttofindvictory
"whereitiseveryday"andtohavefunonthejourney.WhatImeanby
thisstatementisthatIexpectsetbacks,soIprepareforthemmentally
andwithcontingencyplans.Thedaywillbringitsownsetofunexpected
challengesandIseektoturnthemintoopportunities,orataminimum,
mitigatethenegativeandthenlearnfromthesetback.Oftenwithinafew
monthsoflaunch,aprojecthastakenonatotallynewformbasedonthe
lessonslearnedandnewdirectionstaken.Rigiditygetsyoukilledona
SEALopandwillgetyoumetaphoricallykilledinbusinessorinyourjob.
Holdavisionoftheoutcomeyoudesire,andthenallowforspontaneity
andsetbackstoinformtheactualdirectiononaday‐to‐daybasis.
Remember,noplansurvivescontactwiththeenemy,andwithouta
positivelyoffensiveattitudeyoucangetblownbythewindsofchangeor
manipulatedbyotherswhooutmaneuveryou.Findvictoryrighthere
andrightnowwiththecardsyouaredealt.Excuses,finger‐pointing,or
othernegativitywillslowyoudownanddestroytheopportunityfora
creativeresponse.Whenthingsgowrong,themasterdoesn'tblameand
wallowinself‐pity;ratherheorsheimmediatelyseeksthepositive
lessonandthenactsonitwithanoffensiveattitude.
Discerning
When I reflect on the traits ofmasters, I notehow rarelywe see
these qualities in folks who crave the public spotlight, includingmost
politiciansandentertainers.Masteryeludestheseindividualsbecauseit
requires nonattachment to wealth and fame. The disciplines of self‐
masteryandservicearecultivated throughmanyyearsof trainingand
sacrifice.Iffameorfortunecomesastheresultoftheservice,thenitis
not used for egotistic or hedonistic pleasures but rather to serve even
more.Thereisanoldsayingthat"theroadtoenlightenment is littered
with fallen seekers."You can't take the fameand fortunewith you, but
youcansuredietrying!Themasterisverydiscerningabouthowheor
shespendstimeandmentalenergy.Theegoistemperedwithpatience
and humility, allowing for the attention of good works to be directed
outward in service while the intention is directed inward toward
spiritualdevelopment.
Discernmentisdefinedasbeingkeenlyselectiveinjudgment.This
isnoteasytoachieve.Wesawhowcomplicatedourzoo‐likemindisin
chapter three. The mastery trait of discernment is cultivated by first
developingadistrust for theuntrainedmind.Thismeans thatyoustart
withanexpectationthatyourthinkingwillbeflawedandthenstriveto
cultivate right thinking through training, education,mentalmodels, and
trialanderror.Therearefiveprimarywaysthemind"thinks":
I. Directperception: the inductionof data and information into the
mammalian brain and directly perceiving it in a present mind
state
II. Accessingmemory:yourneocortextappingthemammalianbrain
forstoredinformation
III. Analysis: deductive reasoning using the neocortex via the frontal
lobe,predominantlywiththelefthemisphere
IV. Creating:nondeductivecreationusingtheneocortexviathefrontal
lobe,predominantlytherighthemisphere.Increatingyouwillalso
accessstoredmemoryandpossiblyexternalsourcesofpreviously
unknownknowledge
V. Dreaming: I don't think scientistswill ever really figure this one
out
The trait of discernment requires that all five of thesemodes of
thinking are understood and improved through training. Enhancing
direct perception is done through concentration and meditation
exercises.Intelligencefromintuitionandanexpandedawarenessisthe
fruit of this labor. Accessing stored memory better is achieved by
practicinganddrillingmemory,suchastheKeepinMemorygame,drills
such as those provided at Lumosity.com, and practicing to remember
names. Memory can be improved by tying visual images to the
information, making memory a right/left hemisphere and
neocortex/mammalian brain process. Strengthening your analytical
skillscancomethroughthefocuseduseofthemindinproblemsolving
orpracticingmathematics, statistics, logic, andengineering.Theuseof
mentalmodelssuchasOODAloop,PROP,andSMEACwillalsoaidinthis
process.
This is a good place to mention the science of creative problem
solving. For years creativity was assumed to be found in the
subconscious and unlocked through silence or deep immersion in a
problem.ThinkofAlbertEinstein losinghimself inaproblemsodeeply
thathewouldwanderaroundinhisunderwearandforgettodress(Iam
makingthatup,butitprobablyhappened!).Theninthe1940saRussian
namedAltshullerbecamefascinatedwithwhathepositedasatheoryof
invention. After studying 300,000 patents, he noted that they boiled
down to solving about 1,500 types of problems and that there were
roughly fortymethods that were used by the inventors to solve all of
thoseproblems.Hepresentedhis findingstoStalin,whopromptlysent
him to theGulag for twenty‐five years as a "patent spy." (Safety tip:be
carefulwhatyou sharewithparanoidmaniacaldictators in the future.)
Fast‐forward toa fewyearsafterStalinmovedon tomeethis fate,and
AltshullerhadcodifiedthetheoryintowhatisnowknownasTRIZ.The
process is in use by NASA and a growing number of scientifically
orientedfirmstoaccelerateproblemsolving.Idon'thavetimetogointo
allfortysolutionshere,butIwillbrieflymentionafewsoyoucangetthe
idea. These can be applied to any type of problem, though they were
conceivedprimarilytosolvescientificissues:
1. Look at your specific problem, and then state it as a general
problem.Thenfindasolutiontothegeneralproblem,andapplyit
toyourspecificissue.
2. Lookatyourproblembyreversingitorturningitupsidedown.
3. Look at your problem from another perspective or another
dimensionaltogether.
4. Seeifyoucansolveyourproblemwithadifferentelement(water,
air,etc.)
5. Ifyourproblemisfixed,makeitmoveable,orviceversa.
If you are interested in this line of thinking and learning more
aboutthistool,IrecommendthebookDaVinciandtheFortyAnswersby
MarkFox.
Inspiteofallthetrainingtoimproveyourdiscernment,theability
to discern truth from falsehood, good people from bad, and right from
wrongisstillcultivatedthroughlifeexperiencesoftrialanderror.Much
ofitcomesslowlyasyoudeepenyourawarenesswiththeinnerskillsof
Unbeatable Mind, such as contemplation, Box Breathing, and sacred
silence.
ExcelinChaos
Oneofthemoreusefultraitsofmasteryforleaderstodevelopisto
remain perfectly calm and controlled in even the most chaotic
circumstances. A master is unflappable while under extreme pressure,
abletomakegooddecisionsandleadhisteamtovictory.Infactitisthis
quality that is most attractive to followers in high‐stress, high‐risk
environments. Seeing a leader take control of a bad situation is a huge
relief for most people, and those who can do it well are considered
naturalleaders.PictureRudolphGiulianiduringthe9/11disaster.Itisa
skill you can develop, and the most valuable tool to do so is Box
Breathing.
Wehavecovereditalready,butthroughdeep,rhythmicbreathing
you are able to control your mind's conscious activity, regulate your
heart rate, anddiminish symptomsof the stress response. This allows
you,theleader,tomaintainbettersituationalawarenessandmakebetter
decisionsinacrisis.
Let'slookatsituationalawarenessabitmoreasitisanimportant
aspectofexcelling inchaos.Awarenessof thesituationallaroundyou,
nearandfar,internalandexternal,includes:
Personalthoughtsandemotions
Thoughtsandemotionsofyourteam
Thoughtsofyourenemy
Awarenessofyoursurroundingenvironment
Awareness of and alignment with the natural laws that govern
humanbehavior
When Iwas at SEALTeam3 as a young junior officer, I had the
privilegeofbeinginthesameplatoonforthreerotations—atotalofclose
to fouryears.A fewof thepeople I startedwithwerewithme for that
duration. During that time I developed an uncanny sense of what my
teammates were thinking and feeling during long missions. The
situationalawarenesswasuncanny.Extendeddurationsofsilence,hand
signal communications, and intuitive on‐the‐fly decisions became
routine.Oftenthethoughtsmyteammateswerehavingflashedthrough
my mind, or I would just "know" what they were going to do. I also
noticedthatthissituationalawarenessdiminishedwhenIwasn'tinthe
fieldworkingwithallmy senses. Ibelieve thatpracticing the skillwill
leadtobetterdecisionmakingunderstressfulsituations.
Mike Jaco was one of my hand‐to‐hand combat instructors in a
thirty‐daycoursecalledSCARSIattendedwhileintheSEALs.Yearslater
hefoundhimselfasacontractsecurityoperativeinIraqattheheightof
thewar.MikehaddevelopedthesubtleintuitionskillsIalludedtoearlier
tosuchadegreethathefoundthemtobealifesaverinthecombatzone.
On multiple occasions he was able to sense or see images of an
impendingdangerzone,suchasanambushorIEDattack.Hestartedto
paycloseattentiontotheseprecognitionsignalsafterhelearnedthathe
was right most of the time. Often he would direct his team to take
different routes to avoid a perceived threat. He chronicled his
experiencesinthebookIntuitiveWarrior.
EmbracetheSuck
When they lean hard into any workout, project, ormission that
hasrealvalue,mastershitawallofchallenge, just likeyouandI.They
experience pain and discomfort at a physical, mental, emotional, and
even spiritual level. However, what separates mastery from common
performance is that masters embrace the suck and up their
performanceinthesemoments.Thekeyisthatwhenyouhitthepoint
where the pain is almost intolerable,where you feel you can't stand it
anylonger,youactivateanembrace‐the‐suckattitudeanddoubledownto
experience the presence and aliveness of the moment. You note how
utterlyindomitableyourspiritactuallyisthroughthesemoments,when
youswallowtheurgetowinceinpain,whimper,orprojectweakness.In
thesemomentswhenyouhavenochoicebuttosufferorquit,youlearn
tosufferinsilence,embracethesuck,andgetthroughitwithgrace,like
amasterdoes.
Embracing the suck is developed by leaning hard into challenges
anddeliberately internalizinganyexpressionofpainordiscomfort.Do
not throw a pity party. Staging a defeatist attitude will undermine
confidence in you and your leadership. Projecting weakness creates
weakness because your body will follow your weakening mind. I
recommendthatyoufindthemeanstoputasmileonyourfaceduring
challengingtrainingandevents.Althoughthismaybedifficultatfirst,it
will get easier with time and practice. By doing this you are not just
pretendingtobepositivebutareactually forcingyourself intoahappy
place. Studies have shown that a smile brings the same level of
stimulationaseatingabunchofchocolatebars(soifyouareusingthat
tactic to brighten your day, then smiling instead will have the added
benefit of weight loss!). Smiling releases endorphins, serotonin, and
natural painkillers. In fact, people with serious depression have been
completely cured with daily twenty‐minute sessions during which the
patientjustsitsandsmiles.Intriguingly,recentresearchonhappinessby
David Lykken and Auke Tellegen, from the University of Washington,
suggests that over half of what makes a person happy is within our
sphere of influence to change. They cite faith, family, community and
work as places to find that happiness. I don’t know for sure if being
happymakesonesmilemoreorifsmilingmoremakesonehappy,butit
would be hard to dispute that the two are linked. Making a habit of
smilingisagoodideabecauseitcan:
Inducethephysiologyofhappiness
Lowerbloodpressure
Boostimmunity
Reducestress
Curedepression
Create a positive feedback loop as you are more appealing to
otherswhenyousmile
Itisamazinghowsomethingassimpleassmilingcanhavesucha
profound effect. During our fifty‐hour Kokoro Camp at SEALFIT, Iwill
launchintoalaughingyogasessiontwenty‐fourhoursintothetraining.It
is incredible to see trainees—who have not slept for thirty hours—
laughing hysterically. The positive impact on the rest of their day is
palpable.Smilingand laughingwillgiveyoustrengthandenhanceyour
pain tolerance. Adding amantra such as "pain isweakness leavingmy
body"will add an element of determination to your embrace‐the‐suck
moments.
Theotherwaytodeveloptheembrace‐the‐suckattitudeistotake
youreyesoffyourownsufferingandputthemonothers.Ifinthesame
boatasyou,theywillbesufferingasmuchasyouare.Helpingthemout
comforts themand leaves you in apositive state. It is impossible tobe
negativewhenearnestlyhelpinganotherinneed.Also,yourteammates
willwanttofollowapersonwhoisembracingthesuckandservingher
teammates. Soput a smileon your face, support your teammates, and
repeat thephrase "I am themasterofmy fate/I am the captainofmy
soul" (fromWilliamHenley'spoem"Invictus"), andyouwillnotice the
pain begin to dissipate and be transmuted into strength. As you grow
more tolerant to pain from challenges, you will develop deep inner
strength and control over your response.Youare thenonyourway to
mastery!
Humility
Whenever I am in the presence of a realmaster, I am struck by
howhumbleheorsheis.Infacthumilityhasbecomemyprimarylitmus
test todeterminewhethersomeone isamasterorcharlatan.Thereare
many brilliantminds in theworld todaymasquerading asmasters. Yet
theyareincompleteinthattheyhavenotintegratedtheirpersonalFive
Mountains and they continue to act from ego. They lack humility yet
oftendisplayamockshowofcaringforotherswhenactingoutofself‐
interest. I see this in the corporate realm in the form of feel‐good
philanthropy,whereitisgoodbusinesstoembracegiving,butitisoften
done to lookgood, to receive a taxbenefit, orbecause everyoneelse is
doing it. This type of philanthropy is out of the self‐interests of the
leadersanddoesnottrulycomefromaplaceofhumility(Iamnotsaying
that this type of philanthropy is all bad, rather that it lacks the
characteristic of humility). The same holds true for individual action
whenthatactionistransactionalinnature.
Truehumility is thekind thatNelsonMandeladisplayedwhenhe
returned to the prisonwhere hewas held for a large part of his adult
life…toforgivetheprisonguardsandthankthemforbeinghisteachers.
WhenIseeKaichoNakamurateachingkaratetoblindteenagersanda
marinegravelyriskinghislifetorescueayoungchildcaughtintheline
offire,Iamwitnessinghumility.
However,humilityshouldnotrequireamomentofextremecrisis
orfiftyyearsoftrainingtodevelop.Youcanchoosetodevelopitnowby
seeking grace in your everyday actions, especially when they are
inconvenientornotinyourpersonalinterestsatthatmoment.Youhave
learned in these pages that you can't really control anything but your
mental and physical reactions to events. Humility requires that you
surrenderyourneedtocontrolanythingbutyourresponses.Acceptthat
youcannotcontroleverydetailofasituationorperson.Thebestyoucan
do is to try to stay one step ahead of things and focus on giving in
positivity rather than taking. Your personal humility is deepened by
releasing attachment todesires andoutcomes in your life. If you let go
andletthingsflow,youwillallowthepresentmomenttounfold,andyour
heart can guide you. Be OK with what is, and try to merge with the
energyaroundyouratherthanfightagainstit.Thehumblepersonflows
withthecurrent,whiletheegoseekstoswimagainstitorreshapethe
river.
KokoroSpirit
HumilityisacousintoKokoro,whichmeanstomergeyourheart
withyourmind inyouractions.Asyouareaware, it isnotnatural for
mosttoputtheneedsofothersbeforeselfinaheart‐centeredapproach
tolife.Thatiswhythoseindividualsstandoutsomuchtousandwehold
themupasspecial. Ibelievethat ifweweretodevelopthisonetrait in
everyman,woman,andchild,wewouldsoonsolveallthenastyproblems
intheworld.
IsuggestthatblendingthebestofEasternandWesterndisciplines
in an integrated approach to personal development is how you will
developKokoro,thefifthmountainofUnbeatableMind.WithKokoro,you
will frame your challenges intellectually but solve them with a heart‐
centeredapproach that includes the interestsof allparties, inall three
spheres of I‐Self, We‐Team, and It‐Organization. Cultivating Kokoro
requires you remain focused on your larger responsibility of fulfilling
your purpose in service of others, the environment, and your global
family. In the final chapter,wewill examine the scenery from the five
plateaus, or levels, of consciousness that you may experience and
integrateonyourjourneytodevelopyourownKokorospirit.
ChapterNine:Integration
IntegralTheory
OneoftheforemostmodernAmericanphilosophersisKenWilber,
who developed a metaphilosophy he calls Integral Theory. Wilber
proposes that human experience can be mapped and that one's
consciousness can grow and deepen through a variety of methods to
higher stages that transcend the limitationsof earlier and less complex
stages.Additionally,Wilbersaysthatconsciousnessisexpressedinfour
quadrantsofI,We,It,andIts,whichcanbecollapsedtothethreespheres
ofI,We,andIt,asweintroducedinchapterfour.Toquicklyreview,theI
sphereishowanindividualexperiencestheworldfromwithinherself.It
is about her own subjectivity, includingworldview,morality, self‐sense,
intelligences, etc. TheWe sphere is culture, how a particular group of
individuals make meaning of the world. Finally, the It is the objective
worldthatismeasureable.TheItsphereisactuallytwoinoneforthese
purposesbecauseitrepresentsbothindividualsandsystemsintermsof
objectivemarkers and behaviors.Wilber's Integral Theory is a useful
map that we use for Unbeatable Mind, in the form of an integrated
warrior‐leaderdevelopmentmodel,tohelpunderstandtheworldwelive
in and co‐create. It helps reduce the likelihood of mental categorical
errors and reductionist thinking. I particularly find it useful because it
complements our Five Mountain developmental philosophy nicely and
providesaframeworktounderstandvastareasofhumanknowledge.In
this final section, I will introduce you to the Five Plateaus as they are
expressed through the evolutionof consciousness andprovide youmy
interpretative experience of each.Wewill then discuss the concept of
integrationasyouworktowardyourpersonalmastery.
TheFivePlateausofConsciousness
The stages of development that all humans have the potential to
experiencehavebeenmappedbyexperts,includingthosefromthefields
of psychology and humanperformance in theWest (includingWilber)
andthegreatspiritualtraditionsintheEast,suchasyogaandBuddhism.
Even the esoteric writings of Judaism, Islam, and Christianity contain
representations of the higher stages of the human consciousness
evolution. I call these stages "plateaus" because as you climb the Five
Mountainsofdevelopment,yourconsciousnesswillplateauatalevel,and
then youwill break free and travel to the next. At each new stage or
plateau, the view from your conscious self gets more expansive. The
world one inhabits in one's internal space expands andbecomesmore
inclusive.
Aproblemarisesinyourpersonaldevelopmentifyougetstuckata
plateauanddonotpossesstheknowledge,desire,orenergytoclimbto
the next. The FiveMountains and Five Plateaus can guide you as they
representdomainsofdevelopmentaswell as stagesofdevelopment—a
map for how youmay experience conscious life itself. As you develop
alongyourpersonalFiveMountain journey, your consciousnessattains
greaterheightsanddepthsaseachplateauisreachedandintegratedinto
yourbeing.
LetmetrytoemployKISSthinkinghere:haveyoueverwondered
whythelikesofMotherTheresaaresomorallydevelopedandspiritual,
yetthebullydownthestreet(insertcorporatefraudsterordictator)sits
on the opposite end of the spectrum? Human development is not just
aboutcognitiveintelligence,contrarytopopularbelief.MotherTheresa
wasintelligent,yetshealsoappearedtooperateoutofahigherspiritual
stage of moral development. The bully may also be intelligent, yet he
appears to operate out of amore ego‐centric or socio‐centric stage of
moral development. Unlike Mother Theresa, his world, in the moral
sense, does not include many others but is limited to himself and his
particular in‐group. For the bully, the center of gravity of his
consciousness (where he spends themajority of his conscious time in
the moral sense) has plateaued at a less complex stage, and thus he
experiencestheworldinradicallydifferentwaysthanaMotherTheresa.
Ontheotherhand,MotherTheresa'sconsciousnesshasrisentoamuch
higher plateau, expressed with a world‐centeredness (beyond ego‐
centric and socio‐centric), and she exhibits compassion for the entire
human race. The bully hasn't progressed much beyond his physical‐
instinctualself(sex,fighting,andfeeding)andheisnotmuchconcerned
foranyoneelsebuthisin‐group(tribe,gang,clan).
Itisamysterytomewhysome,likeMotherTheresa,risetosuch
heightswhileothersdwellatthelowerlevels.InmyChristianbelief,the
Gospels convey a more esoteric truth, a truth that Jesus told through
parablesthatexpressedaworldofhugepotentialforallhumanbeings.
The truth he told also aligned with the greatest of Eastern spiritual
traditions—specificallyas ithas todowithpersonaldevelopment, such
as deepening one's compassion and care for fellow human beings and
perhaps life in general, karma, and living a moral life. Specifically, I
believe that our souls are embodied in this life to burn off negative
karmainordertoadvancespiritually.Ideally,wewillalsoservehumanity
in some unique way. Those advanced souls likeMother Theresa don't
havemuchnegative karma toburn, so they are able to lockonto their
higher‐orderpurposequickly in life.However, thebully spendshis life
mostly creating new negative karma, so rarely can he radar lock on a
higherpurposeandgrowhisconsciousness.
The most important point is that some folks get stuck in a
consciousness rut at less mature levels while others break free and
progress to higher stages of consciousness evolution. It helps to
understandhowtheFiveMountainsareexpressedinaself‐sense(I),and
abehavior(It)andaworldview(We)manner,aswellastonotewhere
yourcenterofgravityisnowalongtheFivePlateaus.Thenyoucanwork
tounlockyourpotentialandintegratemasterythroughyourtraining.
In chapter five I introduced thework of another greatAmerican
philosopher,Dr.DavidHawkins.Hisresearchshowedthatmosthumans
experience only a five percent growth in consciousness during their
entire lifetime. That is becausemost peoplearen't trying togrow! But
clearlyyouare,andwiththeintegratedwarriorleadertrainingmodelof
the UnbeatableMindAcademy, I believe you can reach the levels of an
integrated self (fifth plateau) in your lifetime (if you are not there
already). It is important to note that each plateau is necessary as a
buildingblock for thenext level that proceeds.As youdevelop youwill
integrate each level so that youwill have an all‐level appreciation and
acceptance.Whatfollowsisadescriptionofwhatlifelooksandfeelslike
ateachoftheFivePlateausofConsciousness:
First Plateau: The Physical‐Instinctual Person.At this plateau, the
earliest one developmentally, we operate out of our lowest instinctual,
animalisticself.Weseektohaveimmediatephysicalneedsmet,suchas
eating,sleeping,defecating,and,ifageappropriate,messingaround.Itis
atthisstagewhereoursexualityandsexualenergyplayimportantroles.
The healthy expression of this stage would lead to healthy sexual
development,interestinfunctionallydevelopingone'sphysicalskills,and
fueling one's body properly. It would also manifest with an individual
being in touchwithhisorherprimalnatureandneeds.Theunhealthy
expression of this stage would lead to using the body for mere
gratification of immediate physical needs and desireswithout care for
long‐termcostsandeffects to self andothers.Of course,manystruggle
with all of this, which causes imbalances in the body and can later
negativelyaffectthehealthydevelopmentoffuturestages.
One of the aims of development in the physical mountain is to
overcome the imbalances and to get fit and healthy at this plateau. A
healthybodybenefits and supports future growthanddevelopment.At
thepsychological level, thosestuckat thisplateaucanbeviolentpeople
whose primary focus is on themselves at the expense of others. They
have a tendency to be closed‐mindedwith a victimmentality. For them
life is meaningless, and they will join a gang or end up in jail as
interpretive proof of their empty philosophy. This plateau is a natural
startingpointforyoungchildren,andthankfullyonlyasmallpercentage
ofadultsgetstuckatthisstage.
Second Plateau: The Emotionally Driven Person. At this plateau
individuals operate out of their emotional selves. In less healthy
expressions of this level, they are often malcontent and difficult to
communicatewithduetowildemotionalswings.Theyuseemotionsas
tools to get what they want, as opposed to using force (the first or
physicalplateau)orlogicalargument(thethirdormentalplateau).They
must have it their way, or theywill throw a tantrum or use emotion‐
basedmanipulativetactics.Childrenandtheirfutureadultselvescanget
stuckhereduetovariousdeeplychallenginglifeconditions.Thenegative
psychologicalmanifestationpresentsthatofanabsolutistwhoisableto
functionwithinsocietybutremainsconvincedthathisorherwayisthe
onlyway, thathisorher tribe (family, football team, country) isworth
fighting to the death over. The healthy expression of this particular
plateauwouldbean individualwho is in touchwithhisorher feelings
andusesthemtoconnectwithothers.
Third Plateau: The Mental Achiever Person. This level of
consciousness will find well‐adjusted, success‐oriented members of
society busy achieving important stuff. Moral and emotional
development is typically stabilized and healthily expressed in one's
abilitytorelatewelltoothers.Atthislevel,one'sIQandrationalthinking
mindplay key roles. Personal growth is important but often limited to
the rationalmental self. Self‐centeredness is possible—balancedwith a
concernforothers—butoftenshort‐termthinkingcomesattheexpense
ofothersortheenvironment.Becausetheyhavedevelopedtheirrational
minds, those on this plateau can better manage their instinctual and
emotional selves. The unhealthy expression of this could be seen in a
Type A person, who is so driven that he or she loses sight of other
important values, such as health, connection to family, and spirituality.
Lifeisgoodforthemaslongastheirneedsaremet:"I'vegotmine;I'm
good to go, so don't bother me" can be the prevailing attitude. This
plateau represents by far the largest in our Western society, where
capitalismplaystotheirstrengths.Theself‐determinationfeltatthislevel
isanenticingandpowerfulview,but itcancreateproblemsbecause it
doesn'tacknowledgetheinterconnectednatureofallthings.
Fourth Plateau: The Sensitive Self Person. Those at this level of
consciousnessevolutiontranscendachievingforthesakeofpersonalor
material earnings and instead seek to achievewith goodness directed
toward others and theworld. They are driven by their hearts and less
limited by rational thought, which is both a strength and a possible
problem down the road. It is common to find those on this plateau
focused on areas that are outside of selfish physical, emotional, and
achievement‐oriented realms, such as sustainable community
transformationandhealthindisadvantagedregions.Thebody,emotions,
andinstinctsarewellmanagedandexpressedinnewanduniqueways.
Themindisdirectedtowardhigher‐orderpurpose,andself‐actualization
can play an important role. Intuition is not shunned, and feelings of
connection grow as they see the world as an interconnected whole.
Though this plateau of consciousness is an exciting step toward a
spiritually oriented life, it has a shadow side (as do all stages). The
shadow lies in attachment to one's newfound identity, expressed in
spiritual egotism and exclusivity toward others. What I mean is that
thereisatendencytofeelspecialanduniqueatthisplateau,leadingtoa
superiority complex and impeding further growth. Spiritual egotism is
seeninthenewagemovement,wherethereisatranslationofspiritual
and religious experience into enlightenment language without a
corresponding transformation of consciousness to more enlightened
levels (integral and beyond). This stage can tend to ignore or even
demonize "less evolved" individualsor groupsofpeople.Animosity can
developbetweenmental achieversandsensitivedo‐good typesbecause
bothfinditdifficulttodealwitheachotherrespectfullyortofindwin‐
winsolutionstogether.
FifthPlateau:TheIntegratedPerson.Inthisfifthandfinalplateau
ofdevelopment(thatwewilldiscusshere),theheart,mind,andintuition
begin to integrate in the individual, creating a world‐centric, service‐
oriented sense of self. Truth, wisdom, and love are felt and expressed
universally.Individualstranscendthelimitsoftribalandnationalidentity.
The earlier plateaus are integrated, and the shadows of each begin to
clear up. A major difference between Plateau 4 and 5 is that those
operating at Plateau 5 can meet others at their respective levels—
meaning that they transcendyet include theotherplateaus.Theydon't
demonize them or treat them as a class that needs pity or a handout.
ThosewhooperatewithaFifthPlateauconsciousnesstendtobegreat
reconcilers and communicators. They are also aware of the possible
dysfunctionsateachpreviousplateauandholdthemintheirmind/heart
inacompassionateway.Unfortunately,notverymanypeopleareatthis
plateau,butitismybeliefthatweareeachpropelledtoreachitoncewe
commit to self‐mastery. If you truly desire and expect to grow to
enlightenedliving,andtakedisciplinedactioneveryday, itwillhappen.
Myvisionisthatasignificantpercentageofthehumanracewillfindits
center of gravity here in this century,making theworld amuchbetter
place.
Sothequestionremains:whatplateaudoyoumostidentifywithas
yourcenterofgravity,whereyouspendmostofyourtime?Youmayfind
that,atyourfinest,youidentifywithIntegralPlateauFive,butthenyou
get drawn into a negative situation and pulled back to hyper‐mental
achiever or emotionalmalcontent. Keep inmind that your upbringing
highly influences your development through these plateaus and your
abilitytooperateconsistentlyathigherlevels.Ratherthanjudgeyourself
for your particular plateau of development, view them as broad
generalizationsthatcanhelpinformyourowngrowthanddevelopment.
ThelateStephenM.R.Coveywiselysaid,"seekfirsttounderstand
and then to be understood." It takes courage to see truth clearly,
especially when it comes to your own beliefs and worldviews. If you
realize that you operatemostly from a Third Plateaumental achiever
consciousness yet dip into Second Plateau emotionally driven and/or
FirstPlateauphysicalgratification–basedbehaviorwhenunderstressor
unfocused,thegoodnewsisthatyouarenotstuckthereandcanchange.
Youcandeveloptothehigheststagesofconsciousnessthroughfocused
intentionand,mosteffectively,throughtraining.
What developmental practices will help you to penetrate and
integrate the next plateau? We developed the online Unbeatable Mind
Academy to guide you on this journey, and as a supporter you can
receive special pricing by visiting this link:
www.unbeatablemind.com/promo.
One final comment: I mentioned earlier that theoretically only
those at the Fifth Plateau of consciousness can consciously transcend
andincludeallotherlevels.Whenyoubreakthroughtothisstage,evenif
inatemporary,non‐ordinarystate,youwillhavea"newconsciousness
benchmark"thatwillserveasasignpostforyourcontinuedwork.These
temporarypeakexperienceshelpyoutrek,overtime,tothatnewterrain
asapermanentcenterofgravity.
Letmeprovidearealworldexampleofatemporarynon‐ordinary
stateandhowitsupporteddevelopmentinatrainee.Iwillprefaceitby
saying that I designed the Kokoro Camp to break paradigms and shift
trainees to a temporary Fifth Plateau experience. This occurs through
the eventual realization that they cannot complete the work required
alone.TheyareforcedfromaThirdorFourthPlateaucenterofgravityto
aFifthPlateaupeakexperience.IwatchedthishappenwithformerNFL
runningbackDerekPriceduringKokoroCamp17.Hiswordsdescribe
hisshiftfromThreetoFive:
WhenIsignedupforSEALFIT'sKokoroCampI
was about having a personal goal to see if I
couldcompletetheprogram.Iwantedtotestmy
limits and find out if I was mentally tough
enough.Ihadbeensearchingfortenyearsafter
leaving the NFL for that "'next level." I've been
tackling business and personal challenges and
knocking them down one at a time, trying to
prove how smart and tough I still was. Even
afterseveralIronmanandOpenWaterdistance
racesIwasnotfeelingsatisfied,yetcouldn'tput
my finger on it. Then Kokoro Camp shattered
my paradigm and solved the puzzle for me.
There, I finally experienced emotionally and
spirituallythatit'snotabout"me,"it'snotabout
whatcan"I"do.Ilearnedthatwhatisimportant
is what my Team can do and how I can help
others achieve success and significance. That's
what the Kokoro experience did for me. It
openedanewdoorinmylifeandpresentedthe
verypuzzlepieceI'dbeenlookingfor.Itopened
metothebiggerpictureandhelpedmeconnect
withmyheart‐mind.
By takinghiseyesandmindawayfromhisownnarrowneedsand
placing them on his teammates, Derek released his Third Plateau
achieverselfandsteppedintotheuniversallyconnectedFifthPlateauof
heart‐centered consciousness. There he was witness to his heart
merging with his mind while tending to his teammates' needs. He
starved fearand fed courage inothersand in sodoingopenedup toa
moreselflessandexpansivestateofconsciousness.Theshiftallowedan
influx of energy and a transcendent experience, which he could later
referenceduringhispersonaljourneytowardself‐mastery.
Afterword
OneDay,OneLife
A fewmonthsaftergraduating fromBUD/S training, Iwasatmy
future wife's home showing her a book that Kaicho Nakamura had
written.ThetitlewasOneDay,OneLifetime,anditwasacollectionofthe
Zen meditation lectures I had experienced the prior four years. I told
SandythatsomedayIwouldteachmartialarts.LittledidIknowIwould
teach it in away that looked very little likewhat I had experienced at
Seido.Thatsaying, "oneday,one lifetime,"hasstayedwithmeall these
yearsandservesasareminderthateverydayisimportantandcouldbe
my last. I learned to liveeachmoment fullyaliveandpresent,notasa
dressrehearsal.
Self‐masterywillbeachievedasyoudevelopyourFiveMountains
and integrate your Five Plateaus. Ultimately you will experience this
integration as a union of your rational mind, your heart, and your
witnessingself.Withthisintegrationyouwillbegintoexperiencemore
presenceandwilluseyourwholemindforcreativeandholisticthinking.
Youractionswillbepowerfulandpositive.Apresencewillbeenjoyed,
whether sitting in silence or performing a workout or important
project—orevenifyoufindyourselfinafightforyourlife.Thesignposts
thatindicateyouaremakingprogressonthisincrediblejourneyinclude:
Experiencingincreasingmomentsofpeace
Sensinganexpandingfieldofawareness
Being able to perceive truth better—cutting through
thenonsenseoftheworld
Feelingmore love for your fellowhumans and for all
sentientbeings
Feeling a sense of urgency to become a steward for
Earth
Finding you can accomplish anyworthy task you set
yourmindto
Tappingintoyourintuitionandgutfeelingsfrequently
andusingthisskilltomakewisedecisions
Findingbeautyandgraceeven inmundaneordismal
situations
Experiencingtrueselflessness
Lifeatthisrarefiedlevelisnotreservedforthepious,wealthy,or
thoseofexaltedbirth.Warriors throughouthistoryhaveusedmanyof
theprinciplesinthisbooktodevelopmasteryofthisnature.Forgingan
Unbeatable Mind is both a lifestyle and a lifetime pursuit. Physical
strength, mental toughness, emotional control, intuitional insight, and
the spirit of a warrior are your goals. Training must be constant and
relentless.Pushyourselftonew20XFactorlimits,andtestyourgritdaily,
weekly, monthly, and yearly. Stay in the arena, and never shy from
challenge. Set audacious goals for yourself, and knock them down one
smallstepatatime.PushyourdevelopmenttotheFifthPlateau,andyou
willstandoutinallyoudo…youwillbeuncommon.Liveeachdayasifit
werealifetime.It'syourtimenow,sostepupandbeUnbeatable!
TenSecretstoSuccess
I. Liveanexaminedlife,andembracesacredsilence.
II. KnowyourOneThing,yourpurpose,passion,andprinciples.
III. Connectallyoursmallactionstothese.
IV. Developmentalandemotionalcontrol:mastertheBigFourof
MentalToughnessandemotionalresiliency.
V. Challengeyourselftofindyour20X,andimprovedaily.
VI. Turntoothersinservice,anddevelopawinningteam.
VII. AligntowininallthreespheresofI,We,andIt.
VIII. SelectSMART‐FITStargets.
IX. EmployKISS"good‐enough"planning.
X. Takemassiveaction,andthenfailforwardfast.
XI. Never,everquit.
Seeyouintraining!
MarkDivine
MarkDivineisfromUpstateNewYorkwithadegreeineconomics
fromColgateUniversityandanMBAinfinancefromNewYorkUniversity
SternSchoolofBusiness.Mark'sfirstcareerwaswithCoopers&
Lybrand(nowPriceWaterhouseCoopers)asaCertifiedPublic
Accountant.ClientsincludedesteemedfinancialfirmssuchasSolomon
BrothersandPaineWeber.FouryearsafterjoiningCoopers,Markleft
behindthecorporateworldtopursuehisvisiontobecomeaneliteNavy
SEALofficer.Attwenty‐sixhegraduatedasHonorMan(#1‐ranked
trainee)ofhisSEALBUD/Sclassnumber170.Markservedfornine
yearstotalonactivedutyandelevenasaReserveSEAL,retiringas
Commanderin2011.
Markembarkedonhisthirdcareerasanentrepreneurin1996by
co‐foundingthesuccessfulCoronadoBrewingCompany(CBC)and
foundingthewebe‐commercesitewww.NavySEALs.com.Helatersold
hisinterestinCBCbutcontinuestorunNavySEALs.comastheleading
websiteforSEALgearandinformation.In2006helaunchedUSTactical,
agovernmentcontractingbusiness,wherehegainedcontractswith
NavalSpecialWarfareGroupONEfortrainingsupportandwiththe
NavyRecruitingCommandforanationwidementoringprogramfor
SEALtrainees.Thislatterprogramwascreditedwithincreasingthe
qualityofNavySEALcandidatesandreducingtheattritionrateatBUD/S
byuptofivepercentandwastheinspirationforSEALFIT.
MarkwasanadjunctprofessorofleadershipattheUniversityof
SanDiego,whereheleftaPHDprogramduetotheIraqWarReservecall‐
up.InBaghdadwiththeSEALsagainin2004,heconductedaspecial
studyfortheDepartmentofDefenseontheroleoftheUSMarineCorps
inthespecialoperationscommunity.Uponreturnhomehedecidedto
focusfullyonhisbusinessandfamily.
MarkisanaccomplishedmartialartistwithblackbeltsinSeido
andGojuRyuKarate,amilitaryhand‐to‐handcombatcertificationin
SCARS,andseniorrankinginSaitoNinjitsu.HeisatrainedAshtanga
YogateacherandcreatedtheinnovativeUnbeatableWarriorYoga
programtaughttohisstudents.
Afterworkingwiththousandsofspecialopscandidatesand
professionalsdevelopingmentaltoughness,Markself‐publishedhisfirst
book,UnbeatableMind,in2011andlaunchedtheat‐homestudy
programwww.unbeatablemind.com.HeisalsotheauthorofTheWayof
theSEAL,publishedbyReader'sDigest,and8Weeksto
SEALFIT,publishedbySt.Martin'sPress.
Markisahighlysought‐afterspeakerforcorporations,wherehis
UnbeatableMindprogramishelpingtoforgementaltoughnessamong
businessleaders.HelivesinEncinitas,California,severalblocksfromthe
SEALFITTrainingCenter,the20,000‐square‐footfacilitywherehe
enjoystrainingwithhisfamilyandteam.
Certifications,Experience,Honors
Author,WayoftheSEAL,8WeekstoSEALFIT,UnbeatableMind
CPA,NewYorkState SEALBUD/SClass170HonorMan SEALTEAM3PlatoonCDR CommandingOfficerNRSEAL
TEAM1 Commander,USNavy Colonel,KentuckyOrderof
Colonels Ambassador,NavySEAL
Foundation TrainedAshtangaYogaInstructor S.C.A.R.S.MilitaryH2Hinstructor
SeidoKarate:blackbelt GojuRyuKarate:blackbelt SaitoNinjitsu:brownbelt SpecialAdvisortoWomen's
OlympicCyclingTeam UnbeatableYogacreator Advisor,SpartanRace BoardMember,CSSP,Performance
Psychology USArmyMasterFitnessCourse Variousspecialoperations
courses—AdvancedFreeFall,SDVOperator
Testimonials
This book is a life changer; itlays out the blueprint and brings to
theforefrontunconsciouspatternsandwithdedicationanddiligence
provides a path to freedom. Freedom from the prisons created and
reinforced through our own behaviors. WOS is written in a user‐
friendly format providingkey tools and exercise to allow oneto
captaintheirownship.Thisbookisessentialreadingfortheperson
whowantstoholdtheirheadhighandtheirlifetoastandardtheycan
be proud of. It is for the person whois ready to lead and succeed
butdoesn't exactly know how to implement that plan. I continue to
readandrereadthisbookasitkeepsmyheadinthegame,butithas
allowedme togrow fromaplaceof fear tonowact fromaplaceof
passionasIpursuemydreamsasaphysician.
—Dr.GabrielleYoung,onWayoftheSEAL
Asyouprobablyknow,you'rerunningaworld‐classprogram—andby
far the Best I've seen of what else is out there—there is nothing
comparableorclosetowhatyouhave."
—Paul Tharp, CommandMaster Chief, SEALBasicUnderwater
Demolition/SEALTraining
Iamsittingatmydeskworkingonsomereports,butall Icanthink
about is theamazingweekendthat just tookplace.WOW!Thatwas
truly(inyourwords)EPIC.Youandyourteamofinstructorspulledoff
anincredibletask.Iamnowstartingtobecomemuchmoreinterested
inthespiritualpaththatallwarriorsmusteventuallywalk.Ithought
your lectures on Yoga, the Warrior Spirit and Leadership were
outstanding.Iwouldreallyliketolearnmoreonthosetopicsfromyou
whenIaminaslightlymore"alert"stateofmind!
—Greg Amundson, CrossFit HQ and Amundson CrossFit, on
attendingKokoro
Thankyoufortheamazinginsightandawareness.I'vebeeninvolved
inteamsportsmyentirelife,andnothingcomesclosetowhatIhave
achieved with Unbeatable Mind and Kokoro Camp. I am a better
person, father, husband, athlete, and businessman because of it.
Thankyou,
—TommyHackenbruck,RogueFitnessAthlete/UTECrossFit
IwantedtodropyoualineandtellyouhowgladIamtoseeyouguys
atSEALFITusing thatkindof exerciseprescription foryour clients.
I'mglad to see themilitarycommunity is slowlybut surelycatching
on to the science of physical training. I'm one of the Strength &
Conditioning coaches at the Naval Special Warfare Prep Course in
GreatLakes,aswellasaCrossFitInstructor,andaformerU.S.Marine,
soI'malwaysgladtoseeprogramslikeyoursdoingwell!
—SEALInstructor
Mydaughter is anAcademygradand currently stationed inNorfolk
but getting ready for aGermany tour. Shehas spokenwith someof
her chiefs and they endorse your operation very highly and even
mentionedthatsomeofyourcandidatesfarebetter intheirtraining
afterhavingbeentooneofyourcamps.Thatiscertainlyanexcellent
recommendationandthoughtthatyouwouldliketoknowthatyour
programanditsreputationhavespreadallthewaytotheeastcoast.
—Linda
Ijustwantedtodropalinethatisstraightfromtheheart.Thanksto
youI'veinventedawholenewwaytodomywork.TheworkIdois
veryphysicallydemanding,butthroughyourteachingonmeditation,
breathing,andmental toughness—I'mworkingatanelite level.My
boss says, "Iwish Ihad fivemore likeyou."Thanks coach foryour
UnbeatableMindtrainingandyourleadership.
—JerryB
Coach Divine, Your book UnbeatableMind is one of the greatest I
have ever read and I reference it daily, but the significance forme
hasbeenmorepersonal.Constantrevisitingofyourconceptsiswhat
keptme from coming apart on the darkest days ofmy separation.
ThatIcouldsurvivetheheartacheofthisIcansurviveanythingelse
emotionally thrownmyway.Andasyousayemotional andmental
aretiedtophysical.Iwanttothankyousoverymuchforallyoudo.
—ChadM.