TX Citizen 10.24.13

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OVERKILL ! SOME THINGS ARE TOO LARGE FOR ANYONE'S GOOD.

WE COVER ONE OF THEM IN THIS ISSUE. PAGE 3

This Guy'sTongue

This Guy'sTongueThis City

ThisBond Election

ThisBond Election

This Politician

This Politician

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table of contents1st WordLet’s break up the CISD beforewe turn into San Antonio.3

Advice fromUncle Esel

Got a problem? You will.

14

7 Due ProcessThis Scientology thing just keeps getting more complicated.

9 Citizen SoundcheckThe ONLY guide of i ts kind for the NB/SM Metroplex!

8Megatorial

This Scientology thing raises afew questions.

6LineCrushers! Week Seven Results!

Around & AboutTwo, count ‘em, TWO ribbon

cuttings this week! 4

13

Last WordChris Matthews is a dork. 19

SportsMidget wrestl ing and the

�nal beltsander races. 16

CalendarStuf f to do. Go do stuf f.

LettersA damn good question.5

Ask a MexicanGustavo of fends intwo languages.

18 Hot in the KitchenOur diva of the dish goes allI talian, with tasty results.

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The CISD Corruption BondBreak out your checkbooks, because we’ve got a $451 million bond staring us down, and if recent elections are any indication, local voters can’t resist a sweet new tax increase. As a community, we’re floozies for any tax/spend proposal that comes down the pike.

The fact that most of the voters that will actually make the trip to the polls will be, due their age, exempt from the tax, doesn’t help. In fact, the District pushes the fact that the over-65 crowd can vote for this without putting their own bank accounts in jeopardy: “In addition, for taxpayers 65 and older, the school property tax amount is generally fixed under a tax ceiling regardless of the increase in property value, unless significant improvements are made to the property.“ (Source: comalisd.org/bond_information/PDF/AKletterweb.pdf) Thanks for that.

On the table, a nearly half-billion dollar proposal from the Comal ISD, intended to build new schools, without a penny for more teachers or increased teacher pay. Think about that. When we discuss problems in American education, teacher pay always comes in at or near the top. We’re constantly hearing stories of how teachers have to dip into their own bank accounts to properly outfit their classrooms. Nearly a half-billion dollars borrowed, a massive property tax increase to pay it off, and no raises for the people that do the actual teaching. Yeah, that makes sense.

Again, more new schools, no new teachers. So don’t for a single minute think that this stops with the bond issue. Staff will need to be hired, and staff will need to be paid. With another tax increase. Hooray.

The bond is advertised as covering a ten-year planning cycle. Consider how very long that is. Remember the 2003 iPhone? No? That’s because they didn’t exist until 2007, and that model sucked. Things change, and they change fast. Why not split up the bond/plan into two five-year deals? Likely because somebody benefits greatly by taxpayers committing big, big money up front. If it

were split in two, the voters might catch on before the squeeze is complete. Can’t have that.

There was a pro-bond pep-rally organized by the Chamber of Commerce last

week. It was sponsored by HMT Engineering & Surveying. We think

an engineering company might have an interest in putting up new buildings. We know the Chamber does. Again, note that the bond includes nothing for teachers, which, at the end of the day, are what smart parents really care about. Hermann Seele taught under a tree, and he was the man. Empty buildings don’t do anyone any good, save the people getting paid to build them.

Right now, the District’s local elementary schools will not reach capacity until after the ten-year cycle. The bond plan builds two more much sooner. Smithson Valley and Canyon High Schools are forecast to reach capacity in about the fourth and ninth year of the plan, respectively, so one new campus would get the job done until well past the ten-year cycle. The plan calls for two. Oh, and they both get tasty, new, 8,000 seat football stadiums as well. Can’t skimp there. This is TEXAS, after all. (No word on what color the fields will be this time around.)

Here’s a quote from the head of the political action committee that’s pushing for the bond, Kirk Kistner, as published on the San Antonio Express-News website (mysanantonio.com): “Our high schools and middle schools are now at the trigger point where we have to start planning new schools…” Really? Are they? Or is Kistner just trying to make a quick buck?

We decided that that’s a pretty good question, so we did some quick Kistner research. According to LinkedIn, he’s the Vice-President of Marketing and Business Development for a company called Bartlett Cocke, a contracting company that builds public schools. He used to be vice-chairman of our City’s 4-B Board as well, so the guy obviously knows how to move taxpayer cash into private hands. We wonder why the Express-News failed to clue us in on just who Kistner is, you know, outside of the PAC. They

must have run out of room on their webpage.It should be noted that the bond advocates

are doing most of their talking to the San Antonio Express-News, which has endorsed the plan as good for San Antonio. That’s because much of the new construction will be taking place in Bexar County. According to the CISD’s website, “two high schools and two middle schools to address enrollment growth projections in the south US Highway 281 area in Bexar County and along Interstate 35…” The fact is, the District is simply too big. There are too many different interests at stake. We’re now calling for, nay, demanding its division into smaller districts. Seems as good a time as any.

One last thing. The people in charge of this money will be connected citizens – not elected officials. A citizen oversight committee will have complete control over planning and execution with no electoral sword hanging over its head. But I’m sure that’s nothing to worry about.

In short, when Kirk Kistner tries to sell you on the bond with pictures of kids and slogans that invoke “the good of the children”, keep in mind this thing isn’t about kids, or teachers, or education at all – it’s about HMT Engineering & Surveying, Bartlett Cocke, and a Chamber of Commerce that’s on the payroll of the City’s government. In other words, business as usual in Texas’ Most Corrupt City ™.

The CISD bond election takes place November 5.

Next Week: We finish this Island nonsense once and for all.

\m/

Mike ReynoldsPublisher/Editor-in-Chief

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AROUND & ABOUTMiss TX Citizen and her giant scissors made two appearances last Saturday, helping Kora-Kora Coffee celebrate its grand opening in Gruene Lake Village, and the ladies at Traveling Gypsy and Vintage Gyspy launch their new joint venture on Landa Steet. Many, many cookies were consumed that day, along with that beautiful Kora-Kora cake expertly created by Nancy Craft over at Small Stuff Cookies and More. Tasty!

If you’d like to schedule a free ribbon cutting to celebrate the grand opening or re-opening of your business, send us an email at [email protected] and we’ll make sure it’s a crazy success.

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GO NUTS! Once each year, Seguin locals break out of their shells and throw one great party.Visitors to this year’s Pecan Fest Heritage Days will be in for a fun-filled family

event celebrating area pecan growers and the community’s rural heritage. The event takes place at various downtown Seguin venues and at the nearby Texas Agricultural Education & Heritage Center (Cordova Road & Highway 123, two miles north of Seguin), as well as a few other places around town. Check out seguingonuts.com for more info.

COSMIC BOWLINGHead out to Solms for the Halloween Cosmic Bowling night at the Solms

Bowling Club. Costume contest, safe trick-or-treating and bowling. $10 gets you shoes, bowling and a free drink. Saturday the 26th from 6 to 10pm.

GERONIMO VFW SUNDAY DANCEThe Good Ole Boys Texas Dance Band will be playing the Sunday afternoon

dance at the Geronimo VFW Post 8456, 6808 N HWY 123, Geronimo from 3pm - 6:30 on November 3. $7 donation. Hall is smoke free and open to all. BYOB/Snacks Kitchen will be open.

CALENDAR

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Send the details to [email protected].

I have a couple of issues with the upcoming vote on the proposed $451 million tax bond for Comal ISD.

First off, I would like to know why the school district is asking for taxpayer support while the investigation by the Comal County Sheriff’s Department and the Texas Rangers is still going on. Why are the authorities investigating Comal ISD? I take it that maybe it has something to do with home improvements at a district office employee’s home and other covered-up waste. They want the taxpayer to fork over more money “for the children” and I notice in the press every year the teachers are doing without raises and they have to buy school supplies for the kids with their own money.

That multimillion dollar sink hole, better known as Comal ISD Support Services, needs to publish a line item report for the requested funds from taxpayers that the public can understand. I know the bond is packed with replacement kitchen equipment. Why are taxpayers asked to pay for equipment when

the kitchens are “leased” out to Chartwell’s. Didn’t their contract say that they have to maintain the equipment they are using?

Second; As a taxpaying resident of Comal County I received a postage paid (permit #3260) flyer from Comal ISD asking me to vote YES in the November 5 election for their bond. Can the school district actually solicit residents for their cause using tax payer funds?

I think it is time for the taxpayers to stop letting officials in the district office hold the children hostage to accommodate their whims.

Frank Altschuler

See this week’s First Word column (page 3) for our take on the bond issue. As for the mailer, the wording is all important. If it’s something like “This is what the bond will get y’all”, it’s legit. Should it actually implore you to “Vote Yes”, then they’ve crossed the line. Also keep in mind that a “Vote Yes” flier sent by the bond’s PAC is also legitimate. Please send us a copy at [email protected] and we’ll have a look. - Editor


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Claiming itself victim, the Church of Scientology

International filed a motion Friday to stop a

Comal County woman’s lawsuit against the

organization. In its motion, CSI says that the

lawsuit violates its First Amendment rights,

even though the motion admits that the Church

sent protesters and private investigators after

Monique Rathbun.

Also on Friday, Judge Dib Waldrip denied

a motion by CSI to keep Monique Rathbun’s

husband, Marty, from speaking with her or her

attorneys about the case.

At the start of Friday’s hearing, CSI

attorney Ricardo Cedillo brought in a box filled

with what he jokingly called “light reading

material” for Waldrip and announced that the

Church was filing an Anti-SLAPP motion.

Outside the courtroom, Cedillo described

the Anti-SLAPP law, which has been in effect

in Texas for two years, as a “way to halt a

lawsuit on First Amendment grounds.” SLAPP

is an acronym for Strategic Lawsuit Against

Public Participation.

The measure was enacted to protect

people and institutions from financially

draining suits filed against them for expressing

First Amendment rights, such as publicly

criticizing a company. An Anti-SLAPP motion

must filed within 60 days of notification of the

suit (Cedillo filed the motion on the day 59)

and a hearing has to be set within 60 days

of the motion, unless the docket is full. After

the hearing, the judge must render a decision

within 30 days. The losing side is granted an

automatic appeal. However, a judge could

rule that an Anti-SLAPP motion was filed simply

to delay the case.

When an Anti-SLAPP motion is filed,

the lawsuit has to come, as Cedillo told the

court, “to a screeching halt” until the motion

is ruled upon. However, Cedillo said that the

Church is not requesting that and will allow

the Dec. 11 hearings to take place, which

will cover Monique Rathbun’s request for a

temporary injunction, and the issue of whether

the court has jurisdiction over Church leader

David Miscavige and the Religious Technology

Center. However, the question remains

whether the law even allows any depositions

to take place except in relation to the Anti-

SLAPP motion. Calls and emails to attorneys

for both Rathbun and CSI were not returned

by press time.

In its motion, CSI admitted that it hired

private investigators, including co-defendant

David Sloat who put cameras up to film the

Rathbun’s Comal County home. The Church

also said that it “provided some financial

and legal support to the Squirrel Busters.”

Squirrel is a term the Church uses for those

who independently practice Scientology.

Previously, CSI told the court that it hadn’t sent

the Squirrel Busters to the Rathbun’s former

home in Ingleside on the Bay.

The motion also said it “retained” co-

defendant David Lubow, whom it described as

a filmmaker who was filming a documentary

on the Rathbuns.

Much of lengthy Anti-SLAPP motion takes

aim at Marty Rathbun, accusing him of stealing

and encouraging others to steal Church

property, trespassing on its premises, criticizing

the organization, trying to encourage others

to leave the Church and taking part in 14

different trials against them, which prompted

Monique Rathbun’s attorney, Ray Jeffrey, to

object, saying that Marty Rathbun was called

as a witness at those trials.

Very little in the motion relates to Monique

Rathbun, who had filed the harassment suit. The

Church’s argument is that Monique Rathbun is

married to a public figure and that she has

appeared with him in news interviews, making

her a public figure as well. The Church accuses

Monique Rathbun of publicly criticizing the

Church, however her criticisms have been

leveled at the Squirrel Busters. The motion also

says that Monique Rathbun “offers no evidence

that harassment ongoing,” however it does not

mention the temporary restraining order that

has been in place against the Church since the

lawsuit was filed on Aug. 16.

Continued on next page.

Due ProcessWITH NICK ROGERS

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Bubbling just beneath the surface of the

Scientology trial regards an issue larger than

the trial itself, and that is right to practice

one’s faith.

In its Anti-SLAPP motion, the Church of

Scientology International (CSI) claims that

it had the First Amendment right to protest,

survey and generally harass Monique Rathbun

because her husband, Marty, has been

practicing Scientology from his home and

independent of the Church. The Church calls

such people Squirrels and takes high offense

of them. Those practicing outside of the Church

refer to themselves as Indies.

The Church insists that Squirrels, such

as Marty Rathbun, are violating the Church’s

significant patents, trademarks and copyrights.

The Indies maintain they are practicing the true

religion as set down by founder and science-

fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard and claim

the Church, under the leadership of David

Miscavige, has been led astray.

This is certainly not a new issue to

religion. The Catholic Church had its share

of schisms, one of which led to the Eastern

Orthodox faiths.

Battles over dogma are not new, and this

one is spelled out in the Anti-SLAPP motion,

but not in a way, I think, the Church of

Scientology intends.

In its motion, the Church accuses Marty of

thinking of himself as a “modern day Martin

Luther” and said that Marty’s blog post, “31

Factors,” was “obvious imitation of Luther’s

nailing of his ‘95 Theses’ on the door of

Wittenberg Castle church.”

First, permit me a little historical

wonkishness. Luther’s idea of nailing protests

to the church’s doors was not original to him,

being a common practice at the time. Luther’s

“Theses” likely had competition on the doors

when he nailed up his complaints.

Secondly, and more significantly, the

reference to Luther undermines CSI’s own

argument. Is it saying that Luther was wrong

to question the Catholic Church? Did he

violate the Vatican’s rights by questioning its

practices? Was Luther, too, a Squirrel? Could

the Catholic Church say to the entire Protestant

collection, “you know, guys, we were the first

to compile the Holy Bible, so you can’t use

it and you can’t talk about Jesus.” Can you

trademark faith?

One of the constants in the history of

established religions is that there are always

detractors and those detractors will, at times,

branch away from the previous orthodoxy.

This is a natural result of text-based religions

because people interpret texts differently.

Though this isn’t a problem when we discuss

varying views of Hermann Hesse, it becomes

a severe issue when we believe our views

carry the weight of the eternal soul and the

salvation of all humans.

In Luther’s time, those who questioned

the Vatican could face charges of heresy,

which would then lead to torture and death.

Luther was lucky in that he found support

among German princes who had grown tired

of answering to Rome. While I don’t believe

CSI would say that those who practice outside

the institution deserve to die, it does appear

to say, based upon the Anti-SLAPP motion,

that practicing former members and their

families deserve to be harangued, defamed

and spied upon.

Hell, Marty Rathbun is no saint, and he’s

freely admitted to that and has apologized.

As the second-highest member of the Church

of Scientology, he participated in some of

the same abuses of power he now deplores.

Read posts on the various websites of former

Scientologists, and you will find many who

distrust Marty Rathbun, However, they seem to

mistrust David Miscavige even more.

The Church of Scientology has developed

a crippling reputation as money hungry, as well

as physically and psychologically abusive, a

view reinforced by the ever-growing number

of former members. Where are former Church

members who still keep the faith supposed

to go? Do they no longer have the right to

practice their beliefs?

Of course they do, just as much as any

current member of the Church. Marty Rathbun,

too, has the First Amendment right to practice

his faith. After all, Martin Luther wasn’t a

pleasant person, but he had the inherent right

to different beliefs from the hierarchy.

Will the Church of Scientology survive

its scandals and numerous woes? More

than likely. Lord knows the Catholic Church

survived its centuries of violence, greed

and avarice. No doubt Scientology, as a

faith, will continue.

Sure, CSI has made other accusations

against Marty Rathbun, and those will have to

be hammered out in court on their own merits.

But on the issue of reprisals against someone

for practicing the faith of their own choice, in

their own home and in a manner that brings

no actual harm to others, the Church of

Scientology is, at the very least, stretching the

parameters of the First Amendment.

If I meditate in my front yard and chant

“Om Mani Padme Hum” while clicking off

beads on my mala, does the Dalai Lama have

the right to send Buddhists to yell, protest and

spy on my wife? I presume that is to be decided

by those with the legal expertise I lack.

But I doubt the Dalai Lama would do such

a thing, and that is the true difference.

MEGATORIALALSO WITH NICK ROGERS

Continued from previous page.

The biggest bone of contention for CSI

seems to be Marty Rathbun’s continued

practice of Scientology from his home and

independent of the Church, which it sees

as a violation of its copyright, trademark,

patent rights.

“They want to portray themselves as the

victims here,” Cedillo told the court, “they

aren’t. He is practicing independently and

we have First Amendment proprietorship

rights. We’re the victims.” Cedillo also

accused Marty Rathbun of “using his wife” to

attack the Church.

Another issue on Friday was the CSI’s

motion to put a protective order on Marty

Rathbun to keep him from discussing the case

with his wife and her attorneys. The Church’s

argument that since he oversaw legal issues

for Church for many years, he has privileged

and confidential information that would violate

attorney-client privilege, mirroring the same

argument CSI made in its failed attempt to

disqualify Monique Rathbun’s attorneys.

Jeffrey said the Church was, “in essence,

asking for a gag order.”

CSI even asked that Marty Rathbun’s

affidavit, which has been public for more

than a month, be sealed because it contains

classified information.

“You’re not dealing with normal litigants,”

Jeffrey told the court. “They’re going to say

everything is confidential.”

Waldrip was reticent about CSI’s request,

saying he didn’t want to “interfere in the

sanctity of marriage.” The judge also pointed

out how such an order could even be carried

out? Waldrip noted that under Texas laws,

spouses are considered different when dealing

with such issues.

The judge then ruled that Marty Rathbun

would be excluded from the protective order,

“at least as it relates to the jurisdictional

issues.” He said that a protective order against

the husband could be put in place as the rest

of the trial progresses.

Cedillo probably best encapsulated the

lawsuit up to this point when he told Waldrip

that this is a “battle that has many, many fronts.”

Nick Rogers covers courts and crime for the TX Citizen.

Nailed it.


Thu 10.24

Adobe VerdeGarrett Heinrichs

6pm

Black Whale PubTBA

9pm

Phoenix SaloonAdam Johnson

5pm

Riley’s TavernTrevor & Joel’s Thirsty Thursday

9pm

AJ’s Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show

9pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseAdam Hood, Jason Eady

w/ Dan Adams

9pm

Freiheit Country StoreOpen Mic w/ Fallon Franklin

6pm

The Pour HausBo Brumble

7pm

River Road Ice HouseBri Bagwell & the Banned

7pm

Tavern in the GrueneRockadillos

8pm

Uptown Piano BarAshley Stone

8pm

Vineyard at GruenePizazz #9

7pm

Fri 10.25

Adobe VerdeJohn Baumann

6:30pm

Dirty’s Bar & QTBA

8pm

The Happy CowTBA

8pm

Oma Gruene’s Secret GartenThe Melissa Ludwig Band

6pm

Phoenix SaloonBroseph

5pm

DJ B.read

9pm

Riley’s TavernJeremy Steding

9pm


9pm

Billy’s Ice HouseThe Damn Quails, Aaron Stephens

8pm, $5

Cheatham Street WarehouseDoug Moreland Band

9pm

Gruene HallTodd Snider

w/ Amy LaVere, Will Sexton, HalleyAnna

7pm, $20

The Pour HausNick Lawrence Band

9pm

Tavern in the Gruene3 Man Front

8pm

Uptown Piano BarBarry Adams

8pm

Vineyard at GrueneBo Brumble

7pm

Vino en VerdeMistral Winds

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The Happy CowSlim Bawb

8pm

Oma Gruene’s Secret GartenPepper’s Blues

1pm

The Lesti Huff Band

6pm

Phoenix SaloonAdam Johnson & the Pay Me’s

9pm

Riley’s TavernRuby Dee & the Snakehandlers

9pm


9pm

Billy’s Ice HouseLC Rocks

9pm, $5

Cheatham Street WarehouseJohn David Kent

9pm

Gruene HallFlat Top Jones

1pm

Todd Snider

w/ Bill Carter, HalleyAnna

8pm, $20

The Pour HausWhiskey Rodeo

9pm

River Road Ice HouseThe Hillbilly Jug Band

8pm

Tavern in the GrueneKyle Wayne Kutscher

8pm

Uptown Piano BarJohn Maclean

8pm

Vineyard at GrueneShannon Lee Nelson

7pm

Vino en VerdeHaley Cole

9pm

Sun 10.27

Adobe VerdeAllan Goodman

6pm

Oma Gruene’s Secret GartenAdam Johnson

1pm

Musical Tribute to Philip Stevens

6pm

Phoenix SaloonJames Pardo

2pm

Ian Halka

7pm

Billy’s Ice HouseDave Fenley & the Good Deal

8pm, $5

Geronimo VFW 8456Sam Bentley Band

Costume Contest

3pm

Gruene HallSlim Bawb

12:30pm

Harry Bodine & Black Coffee

w/ John Magnie & Steve Amedee

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Tavern in the GrueneEmpty Handed Vagabonds

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Vineyard at GrueneSarah McSweeny

7pm

Mon 10.28

Riley’s TavernSongwriter Showcase

w/ John Whipple

8pm

Gruene HallBret Graham

6pm

River Road Ice HouseEmpty Handed Vagabonds

7pm

Tavern in the GrueneCourt Nance & Friends

8pm

Tues 10.29

The Happy CowUncle Daddy

8pm

Riley’s TavernChris Edwards

9pm

Watering Hole SaloonTBA

8:30pm

Billy’s Ice HouseJunior Gordon Band

8pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseAmerican Aquarium

w/ Blue Water Hwy

9pm

Gruene HallAudrey Auld, Richard Bowden, Andrew

Hardin

6pm

The Pour HausOpen Mic w/ Jon Magill

8pm

Tavern in the GrueneRoots & Branches of Americana

7pm

The Blooms

9:30pm

Wed 10.30

Buffalo Wings & RingsSteven Roloff & Friends

7:30pm

Riley’s TavernMike Ethan Messick

9pm

Watering Hole SaloonTBA

8:30pm

Billy’s Ice HouseAaron Stephens, Costello

8pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseKent Finlay’s Songwriters Circle

9pm

Gruene HallThe Georges

6pm

The Pour HausBrent Woods

7pm

Tavern in the GruenePumpkin Carving Contest

7pm

Uptown Piano BarJohn Maclean

8pm

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Antone’sHousecore Horror 3 Day Film Festival

5pm, $99-$199

The Continental ClubClub Lineup:

Blues Specialists, 6:30pm

Mudphonic

w/ Soulhat

10pm, $10

Gallery Lineup:

The Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm

The Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5

Floore’s Country StoreRandy Rogers Band

w/ Cody Canada & the Departed

8pm, $20-$25

Hooligans Bar & GrillThe Velcro Pygmies

8pm, $8

Red Eyed FlyCougarbait

w/ Darkness:Ending, Righteous Brisket,

R Father & the Dashing Bastards

9pm, Outside

Sam’s Burger JointBubble Puppy

w/ The Krayolas, Ultra

8pm, $20-$40

Stubb’s BBQGraham Wilkinson

10:30pm, Inside, $7

Michael Franti & Spearhead

w/ Serena Ryder

7pm, Outside, $26-$28

Sat 10.26

Antone’sHousecore Horror 3 Day Film Festival

5pm, $99-$199

The Continental ClubClub Lineup:

Redd Volkaert, 3:30pm

Li’l Cap’n Travis

w/ Shoulders, Ramsay Midwood

10pm, $10

Gallery Lineup:

Scarlett Olson, 8:30pm

The Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5

Floore’s Country StoreRandy Rogers Band

w/ Jason Eady

8pm, $20-$25

Hooligans Bar & GrillGranger Smith aka Earl Dibbles Jr

w/ Dave Fenley

8pm, $8

Red Eyed FlyBrewtality Inc

w/ Inch of Dark, Black Thorn Halo, 3

Denied

8pm, Outside

Sam’s Burger JointNothing More

w/ American Fangs, Immortal Guardian

8pm, $13-$40

Stubb’s BBQJonathan Fox

w/ The Drew Fish Band

10:30pm, Inside, $8

Pat Green

w/ Cassadee Pope

7pm, Outside, $28-$50

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Happy CowKaraokeThursday Nights, 8pm

Pool TournamentMonday Nights, 8pm

Old Ice HouseKaraokeThursdays, Sundays

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Oyster BarKaraoke Wednesday Nights, 9pm

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TXCITIZEN.COM 13

Uncle Esel,I read that former city employee

Nathan Pence was asking the Feds to come into our river and do something with the gauges. Is this something we want happening? Will this help us or harm us?

Thanks, Rob

Dear Rob, Former city river guru and minister of

misinformation has taken a new step in his new role overseeing the Edwards Aquifer Habitat Conservation Plan by attacking (again) the water flow of the Comal Springs. After years of telling the residents how important it was to keep the federal government out of our river business, in his new role he is asking for the exact opposite of that.

It looks like the plan is to have the Feds come in and certify that the gauges are underreporting the flow rate. What this means is that the HCP would end up helping SAWS avoid reducing flows by being able to tell us that the river flow is okay now. Of course, the HCP would get breathing room by using the numbers to their advantage and make it look like they are our saviors.

Since the measurement well for the Uvalde pool of the Edwards also had some issues, Esel wonders how long the EAA will wait before making announcements that the J-17 well, the well that dictates our water conservation stage, is also faulty. I’ll give you only one guess who it will likely favor, it rhymes with jaws.

Love, K

Uncle Esel,Did you participate in the recent

pro-gun rally at the Alamo? Chuck

Dear Chuck,I was not at the recent open carry rally.

The attendees were there to exercise their Second Amendment rights and to let San Antonio council know they were opposed to any laws to ban open carry. Uncle Esel finds it fitting to see this at the Alamo.

Imagine if the Texicans had been forced to surrender their weapons to the Mexican government in the years before. Imagine today having to decide what American food restaurant we were going to eat at for lunch and having to “push” one for English.

Love, K

Dear Mr. Esel,With early voting going on for the

November election, I was shocked to get not one but two mailings for the Casteel guy running for mayor in the May election. Isn’t it a bit early for the city election to be hitting the street already? I mean it’s not even thanksgiving.

Thanks, Jake

Dear Jake,Glad you asked, because that has been

all Uncle Esel has been hearing for the last few days. Some are saying that Barron Casteel is coming out big and spending BIG right out of the gate to scare off any other potential candidates. That the two mailers have gone out means that in addition to thousands on printing and even more on postage, one can speculate that Casteel is willing to spend enormous and maybe record setting monies on this race. We can’t wait to see those disclosures.

Barron is the lawyer son of former Texas Representative and lawyer Carter Casteel from Monahans, Texas who served in the state legislature 2002 to 2006. Carter herself raised nearly half a million dollars for her political career and we hear the family is not hurting for cash.

We can see that Barron Casteel is fairly frugal as he does not show much in campaign contributions other than to Lamar Smith in 2011. Still, many comments have said that this kickoff is overly grandiose and without precedent. Certainly, there has been plenty of ammo provided by the current mayor and her “till the end” support of fired city manager Morrison, the mismanaged projects like Walnut and the raising of taxes and fees every chance they get for anyone who chooses to run, but are the citizens really ready for another lawyer in city hall?

With previous city attorneys creating flawed ordinances and inviting lawsuits at every turn, to a current attorney who can’t remember what was said moments before in a conversation, why would the citizens vote for another ambulance chaser? Here’s why; he’s got a well known name, he’s really good at the coat tails thing, he’s the right persuasion, he has lots of family money, he says the right things, and he’s the right, ahem, persuasion.

Love, K

Uncle K. Esel is a lifetime resident of our fair city, and is well known for his sage advice on a wide range of topics. If you find yourself perplexed with no one to turn to, send your question to Uncle Esel at: [email protected]. Be sure to write “Question for Uncle Esel” in the subject line of your email.

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By Gustavo Arellano

Dear Mexican: I was surprised, on a trip to Mexico earlier this month, that I only ever found the holiday referred to as ‘Dia de Muertos”, whereas in the States, I’ve only ever heard it referred to as “Dia de los Muertos.” I’m really curious as to WHY there’s a difference north/south of the border.

Do Chicanos include the “los” so that it better matches up with the English translation? Do Mexicans use the phrase so often that the “los” has just fallen by the wayside? Is “los muertos” actually more [historically?] correct grammatically, and that phraseology’s been preserved in the remote reaches of New Spain? In Spanish, do you actually NEED the “los”, or does the word “muertos” effectively include the article? I’ve asked friends, but no one seems to know the reason for the difference; knowing your love of etymology and history, I was hoping you could give a definitive answer. Sorry for the long letter!

La Catrina

Dear Gabacha: Now, let’s not put any blame on those mongrelizing Chicanos, one of whom (Michael Orozco) just helped the U.S. soccer squad save Mexico’s ass from World Cup elimination by scoring a goal in Uncle Sam’s Army’s epic 3-2 triumph over Panama.

Both “Día de los Muertos” and “Día de Muertos” have been used in Mexico since the 16th century, although I’m noticing Chicano yaktivists and their fresa cousins are preferring the latter, most likely because they feel too many gabachos now know about the holiday and prefer to use something they won’t understand—kind of like how Mexicans began using gabacho once gringos started calling themselves gringos, you know?

Both are technically right: “Dia de Muertos” is the literal translation of All Souls’ Day, the Catholic holiday from which Mexico’s veneration of its faithful departed is partly derived (notice how it’s not called “All of the Souls Day,” even though that makes more sense). On the other hand, the day before Día de los Muertos, All Saints’ Day, is almost universally known in Mexico as Día de Todos los Santos (which literally translates as “Day of All of the Saints”) instead of Día de Todos

Santos. Confused yet? Don’t be: the Mexican propensity for elision is as notorious as our love for agave-based spirits and confusing the hell out of gabachos.

Dear Mexican: The other day, I went to Taco Bell and hit the drive-through. At the window, I ordered something with jalapeños. When I spoke the sacred “jalapeno” word with my gawky gringo accent, the illegal Mexican at the cash register corrected my pronunciation by repeating the word slowly and condescendingly with his own accent—“hah-lah-pen-yo.” Kind of annoying. True, I only suspect he’s Mexican, and I suspect he’s illegal as well. But I find his almost complete inability to speak English offers some kind of clue wouldn’t you say?

I wonder: is this dude so ignorant he doesn’t understand that people pronounce words differently depending on where they’re from? Or was he intentionally getting rude ‘cause he just hates gabachos? Or maybe, he was kindly instructing me as to how words will be expected to be pronounced once the Reconquista fulfills its promise. I’ve seen the stats and I have no illusions; if you Mexicans keep reproducing like bunnies, y’all will eventually rule the whole continent.

Home Fry

Dear Gabacho: Let’s just set aside por un poquito your preposterous assumption that the guy taking your order is undocumented—Taco Bell uses E-Verify to ensure only legal citizens and residents prepare its slop.

Guy took your order, right? Which means he knows English. If anything, the Mexican was being charitable—you’re obviously the last gabacho left that doesn’t know how to pronounce jalapeño correctly, which means you’re as clueless about Mexican affairs as Damien Cave, the New York Times Mexico correspondent whose stories seem like press releases penned by the PRI.

Ask the Mexican at [email protected], be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or ask him a video question at youtube.

com/askamexicano!

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TXCITIZEN.COM 15

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The Happy Cow's final beltsander races went into the books over the weekend, with Team Baby Labonte taking home the gold in the modified category, and Team Colonel Sanders walking away with the stock division trophy. The beltsander races, and the Happy Cow itself, have been a huge part of the TX Citizen for a good long while, and we're going to miss 'em terrible when their doors close for good on November 3. Thank you, Happy Cow!

The Watering Hole Saloon was Ground Zero last

Friday night for Extreme Midget Wrestling. As it turns

out, the wrestlers do not like being carried around like

babies. Good to know for next time.

TXCITIZEN.COM 17


I was recently asked to name the biggest influences in my life when it comes to cooking. One lovely lady came to my mind; Oma Malatesta. Oma was my first husband’s grandmother. She was of English & German decent but her husband, “Grandpa”, was straight from Italy. Every Sunday we would walk through Oma & Grandpa’s door with their first great-grand baby; my oldest daughter Dane. Like clockwork, Grandpa Malatesta would shuffle over and say, “Ciao Bella Ragazza!” which means, “Hey beautiful girl!”, then kiss her on top of her head.

Oma would always have some sort of pasta dish and fried chicken prepared. She and I would spend countless hours talking about cooking and pouring over her stacks of Southern Living Magazine. Unfortunately, Oma has long since passed away, but her recipes live on, because there is something special to be said and enjoyed about family traditions and comfort food. Here is one of her favorite recipes… Godere!

Oma Malatesta’s Stuffed Shells

• 2tspoliveoil• 1smallchoppedsweetonion• 2clovesofgarlic,chopped• 1tspdriedbasil• 1tspdriedoregano• 14.5ozcanoffireroasteddiced tomatoes (I recommend Muir Glen)• 15oztomatosauce (Again, Muir Glen)• 2tblstomatopaste• 1cupbeefbroth• ½cupdryredwine• ¼tspredpepperflakes• 1tspsugar• GroundblackpepperandgroundseasalttotasteIn a medium pot, heat oil over medium heat. Add chopped onions and garlic with dried

basil, oregano, and sauté until soft; about 5 min. Add the roasted tomatoes, tomato sauce, paste, beef broth, wine, red pepper flakes, and sugar; still well. Salt & pepper to taste. Simmer until thickened. Then:

• 1lbssweetItaliansausage,chopped(Cansubstitutemildorhot)• 1egg,beaten• 16ozwholemilkricottacheese• 2cupsshreddedmozzarellacheese,divided• ¾cupshreddedparmesancheese,divided• 2tblschoppedfreshparsley• ½cupdicedgreenonion• ¼tspwhitepepper• 12ozboxofjumbopastashellsIn frying pan over medium heat; brown sausage, remove from heat, and drain grease, set aside

to cool. In a medium bowl, add egg and all remaining ingredients, blend until fully incorporated. Add chopped browned sausage to cheese filling. If sausage is still hot it will melt the cheese. Boil about 20 pasta shells in water per al dente instructions on box. Spoon sausage & cheese filling into each shell. Spread tomato sauce into oven pan the shape and size of your choice. Just enough sauce to cover the bottom. Drizzle a little sauce on top of shells and sprinkle with a little reserved mozzarella and parmesan cheese. Bake at 350° for 30 minutes or until browned.

Until next time, Eat, Drink & Be Sherri!Sherri

Sherri Gallagher is a New Braunfels personal chef who grew up in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she began cooking at the age of 8. Her culinary virtuosity can be experienced at the Regal Ravioli food truck in Austin, (regalraviloi.com), and at various catering functions and local home dinner & cocktail parties. She can be contacted at [email protected].

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Tickets are just $5 each,and the proceeds go to support our mission of honoring fallen Firefighters,

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TXCITIZEN.COM 19

Chris Matthews, MSNBC, and that Pesky Three-Fifths Compromise One of the things I find most annoying in

politics is the continued recycling of overt

idiocy in the attempt to sway public opinion.

Most recently in this vein was Chris Matthews

of MSNBC, pulling out and shining up the

Three-Fifths Compromise to use as a cudgel

against the Republican Party. He questions if

Republicans still feel that black people are only

three-fifths of a person.

The obvious intent is to paint Republicans

in general and conservative Republicans in

specific as racists. This masterful use of ad

hominem would be less effective if people

consistently pointed out how historically

illiterate one must be to believe this

argument. Being placed in a position where

I have to assume someone is either stupid or

disingenuous is difficult. In this case, I’ll just lay

out the facts and let you decide.

The notion that the Three-Fifths

Compromise was racist in its intent has been

around for a long time. In fact, one of the

earliest debunkings of this belief came from

Fredrick Douglas who, after careful study,

recognized that it “leans to freedom, not

slavery…” It sounds horrible to consider a slave

as only three-fifths of a man, but it’s important

to remember that this was a compromise and

that the alternate of considering slaves in full

was the greatest desire of the slave-holding

South, not the abolitionist North.

The Three-Fifths Compromise was about

how the states would be represented within

the new federal government. It had already

been decided that representation in the House

would be tied to population. This was a plan

that favored the populous North. The South

hoped to mitigate this by counting their slaves

as members of the population even though they

would have no rights, citizenship, or vote. A

battle ensued, and the Three-Fifths Compromise

was brokered by James Wilson and Roger

Sherman after figures of one-fourth and three-

fourths had been considered and rejected.

Wilson and Sherman, both Northerners, were

certainly not looking to benefit the slave states,

but they were trying to get an agreement that

would convince the South to sign the newly

drafted Constitution.

Many of

the most fervent

abolitionists of the

time insisted that

slaves should never

be counted unless

they were citizens

with full rights, but

if that attitude had

held, it is almost

certain that the

Constitution would

not have been

signed. The result

would have made

it impossible for the

federal government

to make slavery

increasingly unprofitable, as it did. Likewise,

there would have been no Civil War to end

slavery, nor a Civil Rights Movement to

forward rights and equal protection to African-

Americans if the South had never agreed to

be part of the new United States of America.

Besides, had slaves been given no value for

representation purposes, no doubt Chris

Matthews would have complained that the

abolitionists didn’t see slaves as human at all.

This consistent Democrat meme of

Republicans as racists is both contemptible

and untrue at best and projection at

worst. The reality is that Democrats were

the party of racism and segregation.

The Republican Party was founded on

abolitionism. The “Solid South” was solidly

Democrat because of staunch resistance to

Republican attempts to integrate the South

and bring about civil rights legislation.

Democrats do their best to suggest that

the segregationists were purged from their

party and became Republicans afterward,

but this too is a misreading of history for

political purposes.

The truth is

that Republicans

were all but

nonexistent prior to

1964 in the south.

President Johnson,

a Democrat, may

have signed the

1964 Civil Rights

Act, but it was the

Republicans in

Congress who gave

him this option. The

southern Democrats

did everything in

their considerable

power to prevent

it from ever getting

to his desk, including using the filibuster

that they have found so irritating recently.

Johnson’s passage of the 1964 Civil Rights

Act lost the “Solid South” for the Democrats,

but it wasn’t as though Republicans were

seen as a preferable alternative.

For example, there is no doubt that

Barry Goldwater received some support from

angry segregationist whites in the south, but

it wasn’t enough to even challenge Johnson

in 1964. Strangely, those southern states that

voted for Goldwater would have been sorely

disappointed if Goldwater had won. He did

vote against the 1964 Civil Rights Act, but this

was a matter of libertarian principle, not an

indication of any racist tendencies. Goldwater

was unwilling to accept the federal overreach

into private property rights that the Civil Rights

Act allowed for. Otherwise, he had been a

supporter of civil rights.

Some southern Democrats moved

over to the Republican Party (most notably

Strom Thurmond), but most stayed with the

Democrats. Byrd, Fulbright, and Gore all

remained Democrats until they retired. This

was true of most southern Democrats; for the

most part, they quietly faded away to be

replaced by Republican candidates that could

now compete because the past Democratic

stranglehold had been broken, not because

they pushed renewed segregationist policies.

One Democrat in particular held true to

his segregationist colors: George Wallace.

George Wallace was so alienated by the

Democratic shift to integration that he ran

as an Independent candidate for president

in 1968 on an openly segregationist

platform. He carried much of the South, but

Nixon won the presidency, and the South

became considerably more Republican

for years to come even though Nixon also

supported civil rights.

Chris Matthews and other talking-

head Democrats rely on these fallacies

to demonize Republicans. They make

for an interesting fiction, but they are at

best revisionist history. Too often, these

untruths are allowed to pass unchallenged

in the popular media. Republicans deserve

some of the blame here; after all, politics

ain’t beanbag. But, Democrats like Chris

Matthews really should be ashamed of

themselves, if not for spreading falsehoods,

at least for promoting ignorance. I, for

one, intend to call them on it when I see

it. Now, if only the Republicans being

maligned will do the same.

Last WordWith Kelly Colby

You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfirstshrug.blogspot.com.

Dork

PAUL J. SMITHAttorney at Law

Board Certified in Criminal LawTexas Board of Legal Specialization

651 S. WalnutSuite D #228New Braunfels, Tx 78130

830-832-1534www.pauljsmithlaw.com

[email protected]

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TX Citizen 10.24.13

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Transcript of TX Citizen 10.24.13