Twister August 2014

August, 2014 Texas Twister

“It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.”

–Mark Twain

903-883-5263 August, 2014

ANTHROPOMORPHIC NOUNS (Something Worth Learning Here!)

OK… now follow me all the way on this, because - before we’re done - I am very, very certain you will learn a few things you never knew before… Wait and see…We are all familiar withA Herd of Cows .A Flock of Chickens . . .A School of Fish . . .A Gaggle of Geese.OK? But, less widely known are these:A Pride of Lions . . .A Murder of Crows . . .(Murder, too, for their cousins the Rooks and Ravens) . . .An Exaltation of Doves . . .And, presumably because they look so wise:A Parliament of Owls.OK? Now . . . Pause just a moment… and consider ... a group of Baboons. Baboons are known to be the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and the least intelligent of all primates. So . . . what is the proper collective noun our language chooses to use for . . . a group of baboons? Well Believe it or not. A group of Baboons is called .A Congress!(Take note now. I had never heard that before, so I looked it up. It is correct!) Yes.Alas,itistrue!.Itdefinitelyiscalled.A CONGRESS of BABOONS! Well now . That pretty much explains the things that come out of Washing-ton! Don’t you think? You just can’t make this stuff up!!


What Goes Around, Comes Around!

By Ginger Lane

And, the wheels of payback spun really fast for my son, Jesse. Jesse and his family recently moved to West Texas. After living in East Texas all his life, that is a major culture change. The landscape is completely different and so are the critters. He was recently working in an area infested with tarantulas. He told me that on his way home from work one day he counted 45 crossing the road and on another day, it was 25. Jess said, “Mom, you just shouldn’t be able to see a spider from that distance.” And, I totally agree. However, that didn’t stop him from plotting to scare his wife, Heather. Now, if he had asked me beforehand on some motherly advice, I would have told him that it was a bad idea. I’m not sure how much thought he had put into this, but it wasn’t enough. He had visions of strategically placing this tarantula so when she saw/found it he could watch as she jumped around with ninja like moves and screamed like a little girl. Sometime during his work day, he had some free time which he spent capturing a tarantula in a plastic coffee cup. You know the one that has the lid with the tab that you lift to drink out of. He had worked about 18 hours that day and was super tired when he got in. After completely forgetting about the spider being in the coffee cup, he went home, slept and hurried off to work early the next morning.

Continued on Page 7

903-883-5263 August, 2014 Patient: What do you charge for extracting a tooth?

Dentist: Twenty dollars.

Patient: What! For only two seconds’ work?

Dentist: Well, if you wish, I can extract it very slowly.

*****

A recent article in the Dominion Post reported that a woman, Anne Maynard,has sued

Wellington Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all inter-

est in sex.

A hospital spokesman replied:

“Mr. Maynard was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight!”

*****

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken

into his house the night before.

“You’ll get your chance in court,” said the Desk Sergeant.

“No, no, no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking

my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

*****

A little boy went up to his father and asked: “Dad, where did my intelligence come

from?”

The father replied. “Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still

have mine.”

August, 2014 Texas Twister“Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce Court Judge said,

“And I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week,””

“That’s very fair, your honor,’ the husband said.

“And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”

*****

A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the

husband aside, and said,

“I don’t like the looks of your wife at all.”

“Me neither, Doc,” said the husband. “But she’s a great cook and really Good with

the kids.”

*****

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living

with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used

to put the curse on you.”

The old man says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”

*****

Two Reasons Why It’s So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:

1. The DNA all matches.

2. There are no dental records.

AblondecallsDeltaAirlinesandasks,“Canyoutellmehowlongit’lltaketoflyfrom

San Francisco to New York City?’

The agent replies, “Just a minute.”

“Thank you,”the blonde says, and hangs up.

*****

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

“How was he killed?” asked one detective.

“With a golf gun,” the other detective replied.

“A golf gun! What is a golf gun?”

“I don’t know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.”

*****

A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how

he is feeling.

I’m O. K. I didn’t like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,” he answered.

“What did he say,” asked the nurse.

”Oops!”

*****

Thegravesideservicejustbarelyfinished,whentherewasamassiveclapofthunder,

followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rum-

bling in the distance.

The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, “Well, she’s there.”

As soon as he got into his truck and saw the cup, he immediately felt so bad for forgetting about it and that it had spent the night captured in a coffee cup. Hoping that the imprisoned tarantula had not died, he lifted the tab to peek in. No movement. Jesse tapped on the side of the cup. Nothing. More tapping, more shaking, and there was nothing. He shook the cup around one last time and determined that the fate of the spider was death. Now, before I continue the story, I have to break in and tell you that Jesse is 30 years old. He’s about 6’2 …6’3 inches tall. He’s a full grown manly man! He also has a huge place in his heart for animals. Stray animals will always have a meal if they don’t end up being taken home with him. So, I know he was thinking how he never intended for his hostage to die. So, got it? Great big, grown man. Back to the story. Assured after no movement, the tarantula was dead; he lifted the top off the cup. He told me that as soon as that top came off, that spider reared back and jumped straight up and out of there and landed on his arm! He said he screamed like a little girljumpingaroundflinginghisarmsinninjalikemoves! This went on for about 5 seconds which seemed like a lot longer to him, and then immedi-ately went into the ‘did anybody see that?’ mode. This quick check of his surroundings was crucial as he works with a lot of grown manly men and he would have never lived it down. (I was hop-ing someone had caught it on video! Unfortunately, there was no one else around.)Oh, the scales of justice moved swiftly for him that day. I don’t think this will stop him from future shenanigans, but I can promise, he’ll be a lot more careful of the outcome!

903-883-5263 August, 2014 What Goes Around, Continued from Page 4


While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits.

It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband’s advice.

“What do you think?” I asked. “Should I get a two piece or an all-in-one?”

“Better get the two piece,” he replied. “You’d never get it all in one.”

He’s still in intensive care.

We never get what we want,We never want what we get,We never have what we like,We never like what we have.And still we live & love.That’s life... The best kind of friends,Is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with,Never say a word, And then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had. It’s true that we don’t knowWhat we’ve got until it’s gone,But it’s also true that we don’t knowWhat we’ve been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they’ll love you back!Don’t expect love in return;Just wait for it to grow in their heart,But if it doesn’t, be content it grew in yours. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone,An hour to like someone,And a day to love someone,But it takes a lifetime to forget someone..Don’t go for looks; they can deceive.Don’t go for wealth; even that fades away.Go for someone who makes you smile,Because it takes only a smile toMake a dark day seem bright.Find the one that makes your heart smile! May you haveEnough happiness to make you sweet,Enough trials to make you strong,Enough sorrow to keep you human,And enough hope to make you happy

Always put yourself in others’ shoes.If you feel that it hurts you, It probably hurts the other person, too. The happiest of peopleDon’t necessarily have the best of everything;They just make the most of everything that comes along their way.Happiness lies forThose who cry,Those who hurt,Those who have searched,And those who have tried,For only they can appreciate the importance of peopleWho have touched their lives. When you were born, you were cryingAnd everyone around you was smiling.Live your life so that when you die,You’re the one who is smilingAnd everyone around you is crying.

903-883-5263 August, 2014

August, 2014 Texas TwisterOne night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out

of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn’t too luxurious.

When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the president’s secret

service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and

Michelle had a conversation with the owner.

Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle why he was so

interested in talking to her. She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had

been madly in love with her.

President Obama then said, “ Oh, so if you had married him, you would now

be the owner of this lovely restaurant” , to which Michelle responded, “No, if

I had married him, he would now be the President”

903-883-5263 August, 2014 A pastor was walking down the street, when he came upon a group of a dozen

boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group of boys were

surrounding a dog. Concerned the boys were hurting the dog, the pastor went

over and asked, “What are you doing with that dog?”

One of the boys replied, “This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We

all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we’ve decided that

whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog.”

The pastor was shocked. “You boys don’t want to tell lies!” he exclaimed. He

then preached for 10 minutes, an impromptu sermon against lying, beginning

with, “Don’t you boys know it’s a sin to lie?” and ending with, “Why, when I

was your age, I never told a lie.”

There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the pastor was beginning

to think he had gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and

said, “All right, guys, give him the dog.”

903-883-5263 August, 2014

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Answers on Page 21

EXPECTATIONS vs EXPERIENCE!

Thenewdefinitionofexpectations for today is thedis-tance between children’s/teen’s brains and adult’s life experiences. We have a totally different view of things. And, unfortunately, that is a distance that can only be closed with life experiences.

When I was in high school, I was taking drivers ed and we were out doing practice driving. My very good friend, Paula Taft (Bowker, now) was at the wheel. We were driv-ing in a residential area and probably going about 25 mph. The instructor calmly said, “There’s a dip in the road.” Paula just kept driving.

Once again, and a little more clearly and maybe a little louder, he says, “There’s a dip in the road!”Paula never slowed down, never reacted and the instruc-tor yells, “THERES A DIP!” There were 5 people in the car. I was in the middle in the back seat and it was before seat belts. I can remember we hit that very big dip and my head hit the ceiling of the car!

We all got bounced all over the place. Today that is hi-larious. At the time, it was pretty scary! Seems Paula had no idea of the meaning of a dip. That was over 40 yearsago.I’msuretheinstructorgavethedefinitionofa‘dip’ in class from that day forward.

Then,mysonwasabout4yearsold.Isawaflyerwherefor kids to sign up for soccer. I was so excited. I could just picture him all dressed up in his soccer uniform. I asked him enthusiastically, “Hey! You want to play soccer?!” He smiled and just as excited answered me, “Sure!”

I was off to sign him up, paid the fees, bought the uni-formandcouldhardlywaitforourfirstpractice.Jesse,my son, was just as happy with all the hoopla as I was. We showed up for practice and there were kids all over the place. They were loud and running and bumping into

each other… you know, playing soccer. Jess froze. He went into ‘statue’ mode. I was so shocked. And, I was a little upset with him. I told him that he said he wanted to play soccer, I had paid the fee, bought the uniform and his ‘team’ was counting on him and he was going to play.

He was just as stubborn about it as I was as we sat on the sidelines. I explained that we were going to every practice and he would sit there. I kept telling him over and over that HE was the one who said he wanted to play.

After about the 4th practice and he was still refusing to play, I realized that when I asked him if he wanted to play soccer, that he had no idea of the meaning of soccer! Of course, he said he wanted to play! He was looking as his mom grinning from ear to ear saying, “Wanna play?” We left soccer that day and never returned. I had been upset with him and in reality it was not his fault at all.

I’ve often wondered what vision was going through Pau-la’s mind when the drivers ed teacher was saying dip. Vi-sions of ice cream? And, Jesse, at four years old? Did he even hear a word I said after play? Expectations versus experience. That’s a long journey!

903-883-5263 August, 2014

August, 2014 Texas TwisterDictionary For Women

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but he just hasn’t realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally be-comes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the on-ions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, “made the dinner.”

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a conve-nience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a foot-ball game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, oc-casionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See “Magician.”

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn’t coming out anytime soon.

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also “tranquilizers.”

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

903-883-5263 August, 2014 Old Age Symptoms

When you like to be in a crowd because they keep you from falling down. When the parts with arthritis are the parts that feel the best. When your favorite section of the newspaper is “25 Years Ago today.” When a big evening with your friends is sitting around comparing living wills. When your knees buckle but your belt won’t. Whenyourclothesgointoyourovernightbagsoyoucanfillyoursuitcasewithpills. When somebody you consider an old-timer calls you and old-timer. When your idea of a change of scenery is looking to the right or left. When your back goes out more than you do. When you want to be nostalgic and you can’t remember anything. When you don’t care where your spouse goes, as long as you don’t have to go along. When it takes longer to rest than get tired.

There are three signs of old age. Thefirstisyourlossofmemory,the other two I forget.

Aunt Pat’s Jelly That Wouldn’t Jell!By Ginger Lane

Yes, it’s a sad thing, but see the beautiful picture of homemade jelly? Well,

my Aunt Pat made it, and it’s like a very thin syrup! She’s a great cook. She

followed the directions, added more SureJell, boiled again and it just refused

to turn to jelly.

However, my Red Neck Uncle Jimmy did help her, so I’m thinking maybe

‘too many cooks in the kitchen’?


Howdy Texas Twister Fans,How is everyone doing? Great I pray! Well the kids are home for the summer and I know for a fact they want something that is cool to eat and you want it healthy, so let’s give them something that’s both cool to eat and healthy at the same time. I won’t tell them if you won’t :) We are going to have our granddaughter,Cheyanne, next week and our grandson, Ayden, the next week, so I plan to make these for them. They are so easy. Let’s not forget to say a BIG THANKS to our soldiers and their families, past, present, and future, for all they do for us to keep us safe!

Smoothy PopsMakes: 14 servings Prep 10 mins Serving Size: 1 pop Ingredients16-ouncecartonflavoredfat-freeyogurtwithno-caloriesweetener1 cup fat-free milk

2 cups sliced fresh fruit1 cup small ice cubes or crushed ice Directions1. In a blender, combine yogurt, milk, and fruit. Cover and blend until smooth (omit adding ice and blending). Pour mixture into 14, 3-ounce ice-pop molds or paper cups. If using paper cups, cover each cup with foil. Cut a small slit in the center of each foil cover; insert a rounded wooden stick into each pop. Freeze pops for 4 to 6 hours oruntilfirm.Makes14pops.Nutrition Facts Per Serving:Servings Per Recipe: 14PER SERVING: 78 calories., 2 mg cholesterol., 52 mg sodium, 16 g carbohydrate, (2 g fiber), 4 g proteinDiabetic Exchanges : Fruit 0.5

Banana Buster PopsMakes: 4 servingsIngredients4 teaspoons peanut butter1 large banana, cut into 12 equal slices4 6 - 8 - inches white sucker sticks or wooden skewers2 ounces milk chocolate or semisweet chocolate, melted 2 tablespoons finely chopped unsalted dry roasted orcocktail peanutsDirections1. Line a baking sheet with waxed paper; set aside. Spoon 1/2 teaspoon of the peanut butter onto each of eight of the banana slices. Place four of the peanut butter-topped banana slices on the remaining four peanut butter-topped

slices to make four stacks of two banana slices with pea-nut butter between and peanut butter on top. Place one of the remaining banana slices on top of each stack. Push a sucker stick or skewer all the way through the center of each banana stack. 2. Place melted chocolate in a shallow dish. Place pea-nuts in another shallow dish. Roll each banana stack in the melted chocolate. Use a thin metal spatula to help spread the chocolate into a thin, even layer over the stacks. Im-mediately roll in peanuts. Place on prepared baking sheet. 3. Freeze banana pops about 30minutes or until firm.Serve straight from the freezer. Makes 4 servings. Nutrition Facts Per Serving:Servings Per Recipe: 4PER SERVING: 165 cal., 9 g total fat (4 g sat. fat), 3 mg cholesterol, 38 mg sodium, 18 g carbohydrate. (2 g fiber, 12 g sugars), 4 g protein. Diabetic Exchanges:Other Carb 0.5; Fat 1; Fruit 5; High-Fat Meat 0.5

903-883-5263 August, 2014

The hot days of August are on us. Well, they should be but this year has been as strange as we will see. But the big thing is school starting again. That means more meals than just grabbing a sandwich on the run. I was looking through some really old magazines that Mom had tucked away in one of her bookcases of cookbooks. Yes, bookcases. I get my “hoarding” books from Mom; mine aren’t just cookbooks, though. Here are a couple of ideas from an article on making the most of your food dollar from the 1960’s. The idea is to get more than one meal from the less expensive (cheaper) cuts of meat, Heaven knows, these days we all need to do that. Still, your own backyard or the farmers market is also a good choice for great home-grown food stuff that you really do

know where it came from!

This Two Nite Dinner Starts WithSaucy Cheeseburger Sandwiches

2 lbs (80-20) ground beef 1Cfinelychoppedonion1 – 10.75 oz can condensed tomato soup (I sometimes use the one with basil) ¼ C water1 Tbs Worcestershire sauce 2 gloves garlic, minced 2 tsp dried Italian seasoning, crushed¼ tsp ground black pepper 8 hamburger buns, split & toasted 8 slices American cheese In a very large skillet, cook ground beef & onion over medium heat until beef is brown and onion is tender. Break up meat as it cooks with wooden spoon. Drain off fat. Stir in soup, water, Worcestershire sauce, Italian sea-soning, garlic & pepper. Cover & simmer for 15 – 20 minutes or until it’s thickened. Reserved half of the meat mixture (about 2 ½ Cups). Divide the remaining meat mixture among the bun bottoms, top with cheese slices and bun tops. Don’t worryifallthemeatdoesn’tfitonthebun,dependingonthe size you bought, just put the leftover with the reserved mixture. And YUMMMMM!!!! Oh man!!!!!

The next nite you makeCheesy Mock Shepherd’s Pie

1 ½ pounds potatoes (russet or red), peeled & quartered orifyourrushedfortime1pouchInstantpotatoesfixedtopackage directions ( I use the loaded)3 tbs butter or margarine 1/3 C milk Salt, ground black pepper, Reserved meat mixture from Saucy Cheeseburger (about 2 ½ C) 1 ½ C chopped zucchini (1 medium) 1 16 oz bag frozen mixed vegetables 1 1.75 oz can condensed cheddar cheese soup 2 to 4 Tbs waterPreheat oven to 350° In a large covered sauce pan, cook potatoes in enough boiling water to cover for 20 – 25 minutes or until tender, drain, using a potato masher or an electric mixer on low speed, mash potatoes. Stir in butter & milk, sea-son to taste with salt & pepper. OR Mix instant potatoes according to package directions. In another large saucepan, combine reserved meat, zucchini, frozen mixed vegetables, soup & water.

Cover & cook until heated through. Pour mixture into a 3-quart casserole, top with spoonfuls of the potato mix-ture, bake uncovered for 20 to 25 minutes or until pota-toes are golden and meat mixture is bubbly. And YUM-MMMM!!!! Oh yes it is! PS…I have found, that you can freeze this in individual containers, microwave safe, and just top with the potatoes and heat, for those times when it’s just you or a couple of people!

Here’s one that suggests you eat one meal, and put the leftovers into freezer containers just the right size for a meal. That makes for a grab and thaw for those times during the week when you don’t want to spend a lot of time in the kitchen!

Chili-Cheese Hoagies2 lbs lean ground beef 2 C chopped green sweet pepper 4 cloves garlic, minced2 14.5 oz can diced tomatoes with chili spices, un-drained½ tsp ground black pepper 4 hoagie buns 2 slices Monterey Jack cheese 2 slices cheddar cheese 0R 4 oz grated cheese ( your fa-vorite mix) In a large skillet, cook ground beef, onion, sweet pepper& garlic over medium heat until meat is brown & veggies are tender. Use a wooden spoon to break up meat as it cooks. Drain off fat. Stir in un-drained tomatoes & black pepper, bring to boiling; reduce heat, simmer, uncovered about 15 minutes or until mixture is thickened, stirring occasion-ally. While meat is simmering, hollow out bottoms of buns, leaving ¼ inch shells. Place half a slice of Mon-terey Jack cheese in the bottom of each bun, top the bot-toms with meat mixture & cheddar cheese, cover with bun tops. When cooled, divide the leftover mixture between 3 freezer containers, label, and freeze. This YUMMY will last up to 3 months in the freezer, with just thawing, heat-ing and serving needed! IF they last that long.

Gift Wrapping 101

This is the time of year when we think back to the veryfirstChristmas,whentheThreeWiseMenwentto see the baby Jesus and, according to the Book of Matthew, “presented unto Him gifts; gold, frankin-cense, and myrrh”.

These are simple words, but if we analyze them carefully, we discover an important theological fact; there is no mention of wrapping paper.

If there had been wrapping paper, Matthew would have said so.

“And lo, the gifts were inside 600 square cubits of paper. And the paper was festooned with pictures of Frosty the Snowman. And Joseph was going to throweth it away, but Mary saideth unto him, she saideth, “Holdeth it! That is nice paper! Saveth it for next year! And Joseph did rolleth his eyes. And the baby Jesus was more interested in the pa-per than, for example, the frankincense.”

But these words do not appear in the Bible, which meansthattheveryfirstChristmasgiftswerenotwrapped. This is because the people giving those gifts had two important characteristics They were wise.

They were men.

Men are not big gift wrappers. Men do not under-stand the point of putting paper on a gift just so somebody else can tear it off.

I attempt to wrap gifts, but because of some defect in my motor skills, I can never completely wrap them. I can take a gift the size of a deck of cards and put it in the exact center of a piece of wrapping paper the size of a regulation volleyball court, but when I am done folding and taping, you can still see a sector of the gift peeking out.

If I had been an ancient Egyptian in the field ofmummies, the lower half of the pharaoh’s body would be covered only by Scotch tape.

On the other hand, if you give my wife a 12-inch square of wrapping paper, she can wrap a C-130 cargo plane. My wife, like many women, actually likes wrapping things, If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness.

My point is that gift-wrapping is one of those skills - like having babies - that come more naturally to women than to men. That is why today I am pre-

senting gift-wrapping tips for men

Whenever possible, buy gifts that are already wrapped. If, when the recipient opens the gift, nei-ther one of you recognizes it, you can claim that it’s myrrh. The editors of Woman’s Day magazine recently ran an item on how to make your own wrapping paper by printing a design on it with an apple sliced in half horizontally and dipped in a mixture of food col-oring and liquid starch. Think they’ve had way to many Rum balls!

If you’re giving a hard-to-wrap gift, skip the wrap-ping paper! Just put it inside a bag and stick one of those little adhesive bows on it. This creates a fes-tive visual effect that is sure to delight the lucky re-cipient on Christmas morning. Your wife: “Why is there a Hefty trash bag under the tree?” You: “It’s a gift! See? It has a bow!”

In conclusion, remember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The impor-tant thing, during this very special time of year, is that you save the receipt.

Author Unknown


903-883-5263 August, 2014

Tawakoni Area Public Library340 W Hwy 276

West Tawakoni, TX 903-447-3445

The Tawakoni Area Public Library is hon-ored to have been named “Business of the Month” by the Lake Tawakoni Regional Chamber of Com-merce for August, 2014. Our library has come a long way since being formed on October 21, 1982, by a group of forward looking local residents. A “barn raising”, with community members pitching in, brought the library into being in 1983. The li-brary, consisting of 640 square feet, had the dubious honor of being called the smallest library in Texas! Growth continued when the library moved to a con-verteddoctor’sofficewhichprovided1,200squarefeet. This building is adjacent to our present library and is used today for children’s activities and to store extra books for our book sales. In June of 2006 we opened our new 3,600 square foot library. We have 30,552 books and 1,328 DVD’s available for check out without charge. There are nine computer stations with Wi-Fi, available to the public. Our summer reading programs serve 80 to 100 children with about 40 attending the Super Sci-ence Saturday hands-on science programs. Our pa-trons are served by our Library Director, Vicki Nix, and assistant librarians, Kathleen Morgan and Har-riet Gumlar. Our full time volunteer is Rose Walker.We are very grateful to the people of this commu-nity. Without their generous donations and support our library would cease to exist.

8801 HWY 34Quinlan, TX 903-356-1000

www.walmart.com

Thank you so much for the honor of being Business of the Month! Walmart #4215 consistently strives to be a part of the community. Not only as an employer but to represent Sam Walton’s spirit of community.Thank you for allowing us to serve your community and keep Sam’s Spirit alive.

8962 HWY 34 S Quinlan, TX 903-356-4101

Soulman’s Bar-B-Que was founded in 1974, and this year is celebrating its 40th anniversary. It has grown from a single restaurant in the small community of Pleasant Grove to fourteen locations that are still family owned and operated. While there are many things that have changed over the course of forty years, the practices that make Soulman’s successful have remained the same. The meat is smoked daily over hickory. Everything from the potato salad to the buttermilk pie is made from family recipes. And of course, when you visit Soul-man’s, you feel like part of the family. Their motto is “Great food. Great service. Great God.”Soulman’s Bar-B-Que also offers catering for any event. Though the catering menu extends beyond great Texas bar-b-que to anything from fajitas to la-sagna, you’ll still experience the same home-style cooking and exceptional service. Soulman’s Cater-ing Team, led by Amber Polk, can customize the menu for cozy, backyard family gatherings all the way to black tie events with thousands in attendance.

Soulman’s loves to hear from their customers. You canfind themonFacebook or visit thewebsite atwww.soulmans.com for a complete list of locations and all the latest happenings.

4100 FM 515 Emory, TX 75440

866-473-1776 Toll-free

TRACEY PITRE903*440*0754

Welcome to Lone Star Realty, one of East Texas’s premier independent real estate companies. Our pro-fessional sales agents are client-focused and dedi-cated to a tradition of outstanding service, honesty and integrity.Contact Lone Star Realty for waterfront properties, farm and ranch properties, residential real estate, and rural acreage in Rains, Hunt, Rockwall Wood & Van Zandt county areas.Whether you are buying or selling, we are ready to help you navigate through the ever-changing real estate market with our in-depth knowledge of East Texas and our skill with today’s current information systems.

Twister August 2014

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Transcript of Twister August 2014