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TRYING TO SLEEP AFTER THE KISS.

Elaine is ready for bed,

nig!go"n, flo"ery,bl#e, $o%ers fro& "ris!s

!o an'les. (ar&ing agains!

!e roo&)s $ill. Se loo'sa! erself in !e &irror. Herrefle$!ion *eers ba$'. Eyess!are, &o#! $losed. Her

sis!er slee*s in !e o!er bed,so#nds a"ay in drea&land.Se $as!s a loo' a! er in

!e &irror, ead %isible, air,

so#lders blan'e! $o%ered.Se said no!ing !o o!ersabo#! !e boy +on a! s$ooland !e l#n$!i&e 'iss, said

no!ing o%er dinner a fe"o#rs ago, se sa! and

lis!ened and o*ed no oneas'ed er a #es!ion. None did.

Her sis!er s&ir'ed abo#!Elaine #gging !e *illo"on er bed before dinner,b#! no!ing "as said -#s!

loo's and raised eyebro"s.E%ery !i&e se *#! !e for'

!o er li*s, d#ring !e &eal,se !o#g! of i& and i&

'issing er. Li*s !o li*s.Hi& olding er ar&.S!eadying, 'ee*ing ers!anding. Firs! !i&e 'iss,

no one else. No! li'ely !o be,

se !in's, "ondering "a!&ade i& 'iss er, !enand !ere. (a! abo#!

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!e ne! day a! s$ool/(ill e 'iss er again/

(as i! a &is!a'e/ A -o'e/Se as br#sed er !ee!,

br#sed as*e$!s of i&a"ay, so&e s&all *ar!i$lesof i& in !e 'iss on li*s,br#sed a"ay, do"n

!e sin'. Se loo'sfr#&*is0 !e glasses&a'e er loo' larger,er nose see&s fla!!er

as if s#ased. Se !a'es!e& off, lays !e&on !e dressing !able.No" se $an only see

a bl#rry sa*e. Se ge!s#*, and !#rns o#! !e lig!,and ge!s in!o bed, *#lls

!e blan'e!s #* !o er

$in and lays !ere in!e se&i1dar', "onderingabo#! !e ne! day, "a!e "ill say or do or "an!

!o do or say. In !e se&i1dar'se $an see !e o#!lineof er sis!er slee*ing.

Slee* so#nds, brea!ing,

sado"s on !e "all fro&!e &oon)s !o#$ and go.Se i&agines i& oldinger, is and on er ar&,

no! !ig! or gri**ing -#s!olding, !en !e 'iss.

Li*s -#s! !o#$ing, no!*#sing or *ressing, b#!

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sof!ly !o#$ing, sno"fla'e!o#$ing, fea!er falling!o#$ing. Se &a'es agen!le li*s 'issing so#nd.

I! e$oes slig!ly aro#nd!e roo&. Se li$'s er li*s.Li*s li$'ed, li*s 'issing.I! see&ed er body ad

e*e$!ed i!, e%en if seadn)!, !e &o%e&en! ofear!, and sensa!ion ofle!!ing go, as if se)d "e!

erself, as if so&e!ingad o*ened er #* andlef! er "ide o*en so !a!all and e%ery!ing $o#ld

en!er for !a! &o&en! of!e 'iss. Se "an!ed !a!again. (an!ed i! ba$'.Te feelings, !e si&*le

#ndoneness, abandon&en!of self and e&bra$e ofano!er. (ords see& !oes$a*e fro& er &o#!

in !e se&i1dar'0 !o#g!sr#n rio!0 anar$y r#ns!ro#g %eins and ar!eries.Se bi!es er !ong#e, 'ee*s

i! s!ill. Se senses er fingersr#n do"n er leg, ba$' #*and do"n again. (o#ld ea%e done !a!/ (o#ld e/

He 'isses0 e olds. Pas!!ense. Kissed. Held. (ene 'issed er, er breas!s

!ingled. Tingled li'e s&all

bells in a dra#g!. Se sigs.

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Li$'s er li*s. Se e&bra$eser body, er fingers !o#$er s*ine. He said so&e!ing

abo#! b#!!erflies or "as i! birds/

Se $an)! re&e&ber no".+#s! re&e&bers i& 'issing.(o 'isses "o&/ 2oes e

'iss er or does se 'iss i&/Or does nei!er 'iss againand lea%e i! a! !a!. A &is!a'e.A -o'e. See&ed real, se !in's,

!#rning o%er, *#lling !e blan'e!

!ig!er, *re!ending i!s e *#llingand !#$'ing er in and 'issinger $ee' and saying slee* "ell.

He ad said no!ing !o er on!e s$ool b#s o&e. He sa! onone side of !e b#s and se sa!on !e o!er. Nei!er !al'ed

or loo'ed3al!o#g se didno" and !en, -#s! !o &a'e s#re4.He sa! !ere in is sea!, ga5ingo#! !e "indo", as if se)d no!

go! on and "as si!!ing no! farfro& i&. A &is!a'e. No &ore'isses. +#s! !e one lone 'iss.(en e eld er !o 'iss, e

eld er $lose. Pressing agains!er, gen!ly, no! ard or *ressing,no! !a! sor! of !ing. Had isand !o#$ed er ba$'/ se

$an)! re$all. +#s! !ere, se says,feeling "i! er o"n fingers,"ere e &ay a%e !o#$ed.Se *resses. Tere, yes, !ere.

Hard !o i&agine. So $ goingon in er brain a! !e !i&e, so

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$ infor&a!ion 5i**ing!ro#g er ner%es, sensa!ions

ali%e and on fire. Se s! slee*.6#s! slee*. All !o&orro")s

a**enings s! "ai! and see.Se s#!s er eyes. 7rea!es indee*. Ti&e for res!, !i&e for slee*.