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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Practical Ministry Skills:

Staying Connected to Your Church

Contents PAGE

LEADER'S GUIDE.....................................................................................................2

OverviewHOW TO ALIGN YOUR GROUP AND YOUR CHURCH

by Trevor Lee......................................................................................................3

Getting ConnectedTHE CONNECTED SMALL-GROUP LEADER

by Seth Widner....................................................................................................6

CONNECTING YOUR SMALL GROUP WITH YOUR CHURCHby Carolyn Taketa...............................................................................................8

GROUP EFFORTby Lee Dean......................................................................................................11

PRAYING OVER CHURCH LEADERSby Andrew Wheeler...........................................................................................14

PULLING OFF A SUCCESSFUL ALL-CHURCH CAMPAIGNby Bill Search....................................................................................................17

WHY I'M SUCH A BELIEVER IN SERMON-BASED SMALL GROUPSby Jay Firebaugh..............................................................................................19

GETTING EVERYONE TO SUPPORT SMALL-GROUP MINISTRYby Rick Howerton.............................................................................................21

GOD'S FOUNDATION FOR COMMUNITYby Seth Widner.................................................................................................24

TroubleshootingA BATTLE P.L.A.N. FOR CONQUERING GOSSIP

by Rachel Gilmore.............................................................................................26

IS THERE A DISCONNECT?by Tom Bandy....................................................................................................29

ResourcesFURTHER EXPLORATION.......................................................................................31

From SMALLGROUPS.COM © 2012 Christianity Todaywww.SmallGroups.com

STAYING CONNECTED TO YOUR C

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How to Use This ResourceTake a quick peek here to maximize the content in this training download.

Trevor Lee gets it right when he writes in our overview article, "If your church is pulling one way and you and your group members are pulling in another, nobody will go anywhere. But when you align the group with your church, you'll set everyone up for great things." Too often small-group coaches and directors complain about "rogue" groups—those small groups that have pulled away from the church's aims and mission to do their own things. While there is room for diversity in small-group ministry, it's important that small-group leaders are in step with their coaches and church leaders so that the small-group ministry can produce the most fruit.

Use the resource to help your group get and stay connected to your church, and expect God to do great things through unified mission.

Getting ConnectedThese eight articles will give you practical ideas for getting and staying connected to your church. From checking in regularly with a coach to having your group serve together to gathering your church around a campaign, you'll gain insights from leaders who have effectively kept their groups connected—and they've seen the fruit from it as well.

TroubleshootingEven with our best efforts, some groups may find themselves drifting away from the church's mission and vision for small groups. These two articles will help you identify warning signs so you can address them before the issue becomes too serious.

—AMY JACKSON is Associate Editor of SmallGroups.com.

Need more material or training on another small-groups ministry topic? See our website at www.SmallGroups.com.

To contact the editors:

E-mail [email protected] SMALLGROUPS.COM, Christianity Today International

465 Gundersen Drive, Carol Stream, IL 60188

From SMALLGROUPS.COM © 2012 Christianity Today page 2SmallGroups.com

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How to Align Your Group and Your ChurchBecause things won't work if you are pulled in two directionsBy Trevor Lee

Do you remember "tug-of-war"? It's the game where you and a few friends grab the end of a rope while the opposition grabs the other end—and then you both start pulling. Both teams exert a tremendous amount of effort, but neither team moves very far. Imagine how far you could go if everyone decided to move in the same direction! It wouldn't be much of a game, but there would be a lot more movement.

As you prepare to lead a small group, it's important that you develop and communicate a vision that moves with your church. Because if your church is pulling one way and you and your group members are pulling in another, nobody will go anywhere. But when you align the group with your church, you'll set everyone up for great things.

Alignment with Your ChurchAssuming your church's leaders are helping your small group get going, they will have specific goals they're hoping your group will accomplish. Here are some of the things you need to know about your church's hopes for your small group. Your best bet is talking to your church's small-group ministry head about these topics.

PurposeIt's likely the leaders of your church have a specific purpose in mind for small groups—one that fits with the overall ministry strategy of the church. For example, one key focus for my church is prayer. We expect small-group leaders to spend at least half an hour in prayer with their groups. If this doesn't happen, we believe the group will be deficient in an important area.

The same is true for your church. They might rely on small groups for forming relationships, Bible study, prayer, leadership development, or other things. Regardless, it's important that you are clear about how your small group fits into the ministry of the church. Here are some questions to consider:

What are the primary goals of small groups in my church? What will it take to accomplish these goals? How do these goals fit with my vision for the small group I'm going to lead?

AutonomyDifferent churches have radically different expectations of autonomy. Some churches want all the groups on the same page. So the groups study the same material, meet at the same times, and have regular meetings for leaders. In other churches the groups are given some general guidelines and encouraged to develop group life in the way they think is best.

Clarity on the level of autonomy you can expect will save a lot of tugging between your group and church leadership. If you're unclear about the level of autonomy expected of small groups, or if you have trouble with the way your church has set this up, talk with your pastor before you get going. And make sure you find answers to these questions:

Who provides the material my group will use when we meet? What are the commitments my church expects of small-group leaders?

VisionMultiplication is one of the primary ways your vision for the group can clash with your church leaders' vision. As you form deeper relationships with other group members, you may find yourself struggling with the idea of multiplying your group by splitting or having some people leave to begin a new group. It's important to know


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ERROR: REFERENCE SOURCE NOT FOUNDwhere your church leaders stand on this question. And before you lead, make sure you're okay with sticking to the plan your church is pursuing.

You also need to consider what your church's non-negotiables are when it comes to vision alignment. For example, if you think a group should meet on Sunday night and your church would like groups to meet during the week, it's likely neither of you will balk at the idea of adjusting your expectations. However, if you want to meet once a month and your church wants groups to meet weekly, agreement will be trickier.

Before you take on a small group, make sure you can go along with the non-negotiables of your church's small-group ministry. Answer these questions:

If a small group goes perfectly, what do I think it will look like? What does my church leadership think it will look like? (If you don't know, ask someone!)

What are the differences in the vision I have and my church leadership has? How will I work with these differences?

What are my church's non-negotiables? Am I comfortable with these?

Alignment with Other Group MembersSo, you're ready to pull the rope in the same direction as your church's leaders—but what about the other people in your group? Are they on the same page with you?

Alignment with your church is largely about understanding the leadership's vision and working within it. Alignment with other group members is much more about having a clear vision and communicating it in a way that leaves little room for surprises. Setting expectations clearly from the beginning will go a long way to ensuring your group is playing with the same set of rules. Depending on your church's expectations and vision for small groups, you'll need to communicate about the following areas.

CommitmentThis one is pretty easy—what level of commitment do you expect from group members? Is everyone expected to be there every time the group meets, or is it okay for people to show up when they can? Even though this isn't hard to communicate to potential group members, it is very important. If commitment levels are too low, there are some who will look elsewhere because they want a group of people who are deeply committed to each other. If commitment levels are too high, there are some who will shy away because of busy or uncertain schedules. So:

How often will your group meet? Why? How often do you expect people to be there? What will you do if people consistently fall short of those expectations?

Relational DepthTo some extent, the depth of a small group develops over time and cannot be planned. At the same time, the activities of your group will have a significant impact on how deep you go together. If an important part of your time together is sharing details of your lives and holding one another accountable, then you're expecting more depth than if you're just planning to study last week's sermon. The expectations for what will happen are different. Some people have an easier time opening up than others, so make sure you let people know how deep you expect things to get. Consider these questions:

What role will personal sharing play in the way your group is structured? How will you encourage relational depth while allowing people to move at a pace that works for

them?

PurposeNow that you know your church's purpose for small groups, you need to make sure you clearly present that purpose to prospective group members. There is nothing that will keep people from joining a small group (or frustrate them once they do) more than a fuzzy picture of why the group is together. So:

If things go well, what will the group look like in six months? A year? From SMALLGROUPS.COM © 2012 Christianity Today page 4

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ERROR: REFERENCE SOURCE NOT FOUND What will happen when the group meets? How does this fit in with the overall strategy of the church for helping people grow in faith?

As you align with the purpose of your church and pull in the same direction as church leaders, you will experience incredible movement. Continue communicating this aligned vision as you meet, and watch your group flourish.

—TREVOR LEE is a freelance author, pastor, and small-group leader in Colorado. Copyright 2011 by Christianity Today.

Discuss1. Do you know your church's vision, expectations, and non-negotiables for small groups? How well does

your group currently fit?2. How effectively have you communicated your expectations to group members? What can you do to better

communicate your purpose, expectations, and goals?3. How will you stay connected to your small-group ministry head so you're up to date with the ministry

aims?



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The Connected Small-Group LeaderThe importance of staying connected to your coachBy Seth Widner

One of my favorite parts of coaching is listening to the unique circumstances small-group leaders face. I was recently meeting with a few small-group leaders and listening to their concerns. These leaders had received effective start-up training and were applying the right principles. But still, each leader was facing a unique circumstance that had not been covered in start-up training.

Was our start-up training inadequate? No. It's simply impossible to cover in start-up training every possible circumstance a small-group leader may face. The purpose for start-up training is to provide leaders with the nuts and bolts needed to begin leading a small group. Once they begin leading, though, ongoing coaching—the very reason I was meeting with these leaders—must be provided. Leaders need a safe place to voice their questions. We also need an outside eye and ear to keep a biblical perspective. A coach provides a helping hand to navigate through uncharted territory.

Seven Benefits of CoachingRegular meetings for small-group leaders and their coaches is the key to success. Here are seven benefits of coaching.

Connection to Your Church's VisionIf small-group leaders are left alone in leadership, our groups can become islands, disconnected from the church. This is a dangerous place to be. When small groups are functioning as islands, they are one storm away from sinking. Small-group leaders need to be reminded that they are part of something larger than their groups. Small groups are active members of your church's larger cause. As leaders are reminded of the church's specific vision, they are given a GPS-like map for everything they do in small groups. Coaching provides a way to keep small-group leaders connected with one another and to the church's DNA and vision.

Ongoing SupportSmall-group leaders are on the front lines of ministry. We relationally connect with our members. Our ears listen to their stories and our eyes see their pain. Our group members are not statistics. They are real people who are close to our hearts. Leading a small group can be emotionally draining. We need a safe place to go to voice our questions or vent our frustrations. Coaching provides the right environment to offer needed support to small-group leaders. Without ongoing support, a leader will eventually burn out. Galatians 6:2 says, "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."

AccountabilityCoaching provides small-group leaders a resource for accountability. Accountability is needed for all people, but especially small-group leaders because they are trusted with peoples' lives. Accountability ensures that group members receive the best possible care. It can also protect the integrity of a church and its small-group leaders against unforeseen accusations. Sometimes Satan likes to attack the church from the inside. When a small-group leader shares information regarding his or her group's life, the coach will be empowered to defend the leader if needed. If an angry group member makes false accusations, the coach can go to bat for the small-group leader.

A Realistic PerspectiveWe tend to see life in our own unique ways. We can interpret circumstances through our own preconceived opinions, and sometimes our imaginations can exaggerate life's circumstances. We can also blend our emotions into our perspectives. This tendency can cloud our best discernment. We need a clear perspective of reality, not


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ERROR: REFERENCE SOURCE NOT FOUND our interpretation of it. A coach can provide an outside eye and ear that allows you to jump outside of your interpretation of reality. Coaching clears the clouds in the mind and provides a realistic perspective.

Victory over ObstaclesStart-up training cannot cover everything we will face as small-group leaders. It is only a matter of time before we will enter uncharted territory and obstacles. An unexpected obstacle can intimidate a small-group leader. It reminds us of our humanity, and that we do not know everything. It is important for a small-group leader to have a lifeline outside of the group. This lifeline comes in the form of coaching. The leader can openly talk about the obstacle and develop an action plan to remove it. Proverbs 11:14 says, "Victory is won through many advisers."

Needed ConfidenceIt is important for small-group leaders to have confidence. Their group members will not follow them otherwise. But our confidence cannot rest in our strength alone. Lasting confidence is found in the strength of Jesus Christ. A coach reminds small-group leaders of Christ's power and helps them connect to it.

Progressive GrowthA coach helps small-group leaders stay on track. It is easy to become distracted from what we are supposed to be doing. The busyness of life can push us off course, sending us in a different direction. All it takes is one distraction, and we can veer off toward an undesired destination.

Growth requires perseverance. And perseverance is a rare quality today, for we live in a fast-paced culture that demands instant results. We are programmed to want things now. But spiritual maturity does not come over night. And we must remember that in the realm of small groups, speed kills. Coaching helps small-group leaders persevere, especially during the difficult seasons. It opens our eyes to practical steps we must take in order to grow. As we take each practical step, we will be on the path toward spiritual growth.

Coaching helps small-group leaders cross the bridge from good to great. And great leaders create a win-win for the church. Remember that start-up training is not enough; provide ongoing training through coaching.

—SETH WIDNER is Family Pastor of The Journey Church in Fernandia Beach, Florida. Copyright 2012 by Christianity Today.

Discuss1. Are you connecting regularly with a coach? If so, how has it benefitted you?2. If you do not have a coach to meet with, who can you talk to about setting this up? When will you do this?3. What issues and questions have come up as you've been a small-group leader? What answers and advice

have you received for them?



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Connecting Your Small Group with Your ChurchSeven ideas for staying connectedBy Carolyn Taketa

"I feel connected to my small group but not to the church." "I've been leading a group for years and we are doing fine. We don't need to be involved with the church." "The only friends I have at church are in my small group."

Many of us have heard or experienced similar feelings. Such perceptions arise in churches (especially larger churches) when people feel a sense of belonging with their group but not with their church. A small group can sometimes function as an isolated island among the numerous ministries of the church. After all, the primary activities of a group (e.g., Bible study, discussion, prayer, support, fellowship, discipleship, accountability) usually happen outside the church building and away from the attention of church leaders. This makes it easy for both small-group leaders and small-group members to feel disconnected from the vision, mission, and life of the church.

Part of the WholeSmall groups, however, are not meant to be a substitute for the larger church; rather, they are a vital part of the greater whole. Groups are spiritually healthier and group members are more likely to grow and serve when they are fully integrated into the local body of Christ. Engaging in the life of the church beyond the group fosters a greater sense of unity within the church, higher spiritual accountability, broader access to resources, wider impact in outreach, and more support for group members.

So how can a small group become woven into the fabric of your church's body life? Here are some simple ways to integrate groups more fully into your church.

1. Use sermon-based curriculum.Small-group curriculum based upon the sermon teaching series has become a popular option for many churches. Depending on the resources available, this can be as simple as writing a few questions related to the weekly sermon for groups to discuss or as comprehensive as a full DVD curriculum distributed in advance of the sermon series. Regardless of format, the process of sharing, discussing, and applying Sunday's message together is a powerful method of aligning minds and hearts with the vision and focus of the church. It provides common language, shared experience, and a greater continuity between what is happening on Sunday mornings and in the group time, thereby fostering a closer sense of connection with the church.

In addition, using sermon discussion curriculum also helps new people gel more quickly either into a new group or an existing group. The weekend service is the one common experience that any group of strangers from a church will share and is a good foundation to build upon. Unlike other curriculum that may require extensive reading and other "homework," the sermon-based curriculum gives everyone, regardless of their level of spiritual maturity, a chance to participate and contribute. So it is an easy way to build relationships within the group as well as build continuity with the larger church.

2. Serve together within and beyond the church walls.As group leaders know, serving projects often knit members together through the bond of shared goals and experiences. When people work with one another and see each other in a different context than the living room, their relationships are strengthened. You can tap into this dynamic when you choose to serve together as a small group.

Brainstorm ways your group can serve and, at the same time, connect with others in various ministries (e.g., preparing communion, ushering, greeting, prepping crafts for Sunday school, prayer ministry, stuffing bulletins, maintaining facilities, directing parking, helping families in need, or staffing the donut table). Perhaps several members in the group could teach a Sunday school class, lead a youth group, volunteer with



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ERROR: REFERENCE SOURCE NOT FOUND the children's choir, or work in the nursery together for a semester.

Most churches have outreach projects that serve an under-resourced population in the local community or through mission trips. Find out what projects appeal to your group and join others in the church to serve together. For example, if your church has a meal program for the homeless, sign up together to prepare or serve meals on a regular basis. Perhaps your group would like to partner with others who visit local nursing homes, build wheelchair ramps for the disabled, or tutor underprivileged children. Choose to be part of church-wide serving opportunities, whether it is a one-time event or an ongoing program.

The specific task your group performs will not matter as much as the fact that you are serving alongside others in the church. This engages the group in the life of the church and facilitates interactions with others in the body, even in simple ways. When we give our time, talents, and treasures toward something, our hearts naturally attach to it as well. Any service we do together strengthens not only the relationship within the group but forms broader connections within the church.

3. Intentionally attend events together. Throughout the year, there are different church or community events that might interest your group. Instead of having members sign up independently when they feel like going to a function, organize the group to attend together. For example, if you lead a married couples group, take advantage of a marriage class, date night, or a couples' retreat. Or the men can go to the men's breakfast or men's retreat while the women participate in a women's event. Find out what activity the church is promoting and support it by attending together. This not only benefits the group, but also builds relationships with other members within the church.

4. Initiate gatherings beyond your group.It's easy to become accustomed to doing activities with just your group. Instead, widen the circle of fellowship and invite different segments of the church to join you for a special gathering. You could invite a speaker on a topic of shared interest, have a joint potluck with other small groups in the church, host a game night for people of all ages, play softball, go bowling, host a babysitting night so parents can go on a date, or organize a simple meal for the youth or the elderly in your congregation. Brainstorm ways your group can connect with various clusters of people within the church through shared interests, fun activities, or acts of service. This goes a long way toward investing in relationships outside the group and helps members feel more connected to the life of the church.

5. Pray for your church.Make it a priority to pray for your church, including the staff, elders, Sunday school teachers, musicians, youth workers, specific ministries, and mission trips. Ask ministry leaders how you can pray for them or use the church's weekly prayer lists or bulletin. Build a spiritual investment in your church by taking time regularly within your meetings to pray for God to work in and through your church. Often when we pray for others, God knits our hearts more closely with theirs, and we find ourselves caring more deeply about them.

6. Utilize social media.If your church or small-group ministry has a Facebook page, a ministry blog, or an online discussion board, encourage your group to join and participate. It is an easy way to be engaged and updated on the general happenings within the church. You can catch news from various ministries, hear how God is answering prayers, share stories, and become aware of needs in the body. It forms another nexus of relational connection within the church.

7. Embrace your role as a leader in the church and invest in the small-group ministry.As a small-group leader, you are part of the leadership at your church. When you shift from seeing yourself as a member of the congregation who leads a group to someone who is an influencer in the church, you will be more vested in what is happening throughout the church.

Your group is significantly impacted by how you relate to the larger church. If you feel disconnected or disenfranchised from the church, it's likely that your members will feel detached as well. However, if you embrace your role as an integral part of the small-group ministry team and serve as an advocate for the value of biblical community, you can become an instrument for connection and integration. For example, you can



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ERROR: REFERENCE SOURCE NOT FOUND volunteer at ministry fairs, new member classes, or small-group connection events and speak on the value of small groups. You can also share stories with your church leadership about how God is working in your group and let the church use it to promote small groups.

There are many ways for groups to connect with others and invest in the larger church community. Discuss these options with your group and take a step toward being an integrated part of your local church.

—CAROLYN TAKETA is Small Groups Director at Calvary Community Church in Westlake Village, California. Copyright 2012 by Christianity Today.

Discuss1. Which of these seven tips is your group already engaged in? What results have you seen from being

involved in this way?2. Which of these would you like to implement into your group life? How can you go about this?3. Which of these do you think your small-group members would struggle with most? Why?



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Group EffortService, both inside and outside the church walls, helps small groups shine.By Lee Dean

J. Kenneth Grider, longtime professor at Olivet Nazarene University, declared that "theology wears overalls." The phrase was his way of saying that an individual's beliefs at some point translate into action.

Small groups operate on the same principle. Their discussions turn to talk of action and how they can live out the biblical truth they've studied. What some groups may not realize, though, is that one of the best ways to take such action is for the group to serve together.

Projects: What Can the Group Do?For projects that benefit the church, begin by asking what the congregation needs. The projects could be large annual events such as Christmas pageants, pumpkin parties, and summer picnics. Groups can take turns working on labor-intensive new projects, such as a community garden, or grab a project and call it their own.

"Look at the church calendar for special events that need volunteers, and sign up to serve together as a group. Or pick a ministry within the church and devise a way to bless them (for example, a surprise party for youth leaders)," said David Ward, pastor of Chatham Community Church in Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

Outside the church walls, small groups can make a difference in their communities. The groups at Ecclesia, a congregation in Muskegon, Michigan, participate in an annual summer children's carnival, staff a dry goods pantry, and partner with another inner-city church to serve an assisted living facility. One of Ecclesia's small groups spearheads a ministry called Family Promise, which allows homeless families to stay at the church for a week, and provides meals and ways to find work and permanent housing.

We begin by asking what the church needs. "It's very easy to ask about or act on what a church wants, but that may not lead to healthy growth," said Wally Harrison, lead pastor at Ecclesia. "So maybe a service project invites the congregation to be stretched, to move out of their comfort zones, and find God somewhere or in someone unexpected."

Group projects at Chatham have included taking care of a refugee family, caroling at a nursing home, home repair and yard work for widows, painting a room at a local school, and decorating the church lobby for Christmas.

Groups should be flexible when thinking about the size of the project. One group is usually able to adopt a person or a family in need for a season. For projects too large for a single group to handle, such as building a Habitat for Humanity house, two or more groups can join forces, said Ward.

How often should groups be asked to participate in projects? Frequency might range from once a month to once a quarter.

"I would encourage once a month," said Harrison, "but with a solid balance of light and heavy, internal and external, so as to avoid burnout. I also encourage Sabbath rest as a group, in order for refreshment and reflection, which can be helpful in understanding our rhythms."

People: Matching Passions with ProjectsPastors and ministry staff can be the best people to cast vision and expectations for how a church wants its groups to serve. These leaders can be particularly helpful in making sure projects are filtered through the overall mission and vision of the church. Within these boundaries, groups can decide how they should serve.



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ERROR: REFERENCE SOURCE NOT FOUND "Unless the leader already has a sensational idea, I'd suggest he or she ask the group for ideas as part of their discussion. In fact, I'd do that anyway, idea in hand or not," said Ward. "If the Spirit doesn't provide an immediate answer that everyone is on board with, commit to pray about it and research it for your next meeting. The leader's job isn't to find the perfect project, but to hold the group accountable to picking some way to serve and then doing it."

Attentive group leaders will be in tune with the giftedness and passions of the group members. If the group is full of people with a passion for outreach to the poor, a project at the local mission fits the bill. If the group is made up of city dwellers whose only knowledge of agriculture is "the green side goes up and the brown side goes down," stay away from a community garden project.

At times a group can get stuck on which project to choose. Church leaders can help break the deadlock by submitting a list of three to five projects that fit the church's overall direction. From that list, groups can decide what fits them best.

"Almost everything we do flows from our mission, vision, and values, which have us participating in restoring, renewing, and reconciling all things through Jesus," said Harrison. "We also ask the question, 'What does this group need in order to grow, and what is a practical next step for our church?'"

Avoiding Potential ProblemsAsking a small group to do something extra can trigger reluctance in some of its members. Some may push back because they can't imagine adding one more commitment to their schedules; others may believe that participation in outreach should be left to individuals and not groups.

"I would think objections and pushback would be decreased if the group is serving in ways that match the makeup of the group. If one or two people are often being difficult and complaining, then it takes a group to have difficult and truth-giving conversations," said Harrison. "I encourage pushback and objections because the dialogue should lead to a healthier ministry or call out any people who are just plain divisive." Pushback can be expected, but it should not be allowed to stop group participation in its tracks.

"The needs won't disappear by ignoring them and the people won't grow spiritually by staying comfortable," said Ward.

Besides pushback, though, you may run into these other problems.

Seeing Groups as a Source of "Cheap Labor""This mindset is revealed by the phrase, 'why don't we get our small groups to . . . '" said Ward. "This impulse appears to solve a problem but doesn't generate excitement about serving from the groups themselves."

Going RogueAll small-group activities, including service projects, should align with Scripture and fit within the church's vision and mission. Let decisions be true group decisions, not ideas that arise from a dominant voice within the ranks.

ImpatienceFor some churches, participation in group projects, particularly those involving service to the poor and the community, is a departure from business as usual. Scolding and arm-twisting do not work; prayer and patient teaching of Scripture have a better chance.

"We're Too Busy"On occasion, this phrase is accurate, but all too often it is an excuse. "Everybody is busy," said Ward. "If necessary, schedule a service project during the normal meeting time."

Evaluation and Follow UpThe task of determining whether a project succeeded or failed begins before the project starts. Harrison suggests setting goals based on specific questions, such as:



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What are some signs of success so we'll know this project is complete? Is there a timeline to this project? What would be signs of failure at the end of this project? Does this project bring restoration, renewal, or reconciliation to people or places of our community? If we don't do this will anyone notice or care?

Your group members will let you know how well the project has done by the stories they tell, both within the group and outside to the congregation.

"I would keep asking the question, 'How did you see God at work through that project?' Find ways to share those answers church wide: share during worship, make a video, put pictures online, write an article," said Ward.

The group should debrief each project and discuss what went right and what challenges were encountered. If a project doesn't go as planned, discuss what can be learned for next time and encourage each other to try again.

—LEE A. DEAN is a freelance writer based in Michigan. Copyright 2012 by Christianity Today.

Discuss1. Has your group served together in the past? Why or why not?2. How might serving together develop deeper relationships in the group?3. How can you start a conversation about serving with your group? What possible ideas could you present to

them?



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Praying Over Church LeadersHow your group can support and encourage your churchBy Andrew Wheeler

What if your small group could make a difference in the life of your church? What if you could encourage and strengthen church leaders and increase the fruitfulness of ministries across the church? What if you could promote unity and spiritual growth throughout the church? While God brings about the fruit, your small group can play a significant role through prayer. I am part of a small group that meets specifically to pray for the church. We vary the format and content of the meeting, but our favorite and most consistent format involves inviting one of the church's leaders or key volunteers to come and share prayer requests. We then surround pray for this person for an hour or so. At the end of this time, the leader feels refreshed, encouraged, and empowered for ministry and life in general. Additionally, our prayer team grows in vision and passion for the ministry and leader for whom we pray, and this connection lasts well beyond the actual meeting. Preparing the GroupWhile your church might not have a setup just like ours, I would encourage you to plan special times where your small group invites a church leader or volunteer to your meeting so you can specifically pray for him or her. Inviting the leader to your meeting allows you to hear requests directly and spend a significant amount of time praying for this leader’s specific needs. Prepare for these special times by following the steps below.

Cast a VisionStart by building consensus in the group, casting a vision, and giving the group a chance to have some input. Our group uses the story of Aaron and Hur in the battle against the Amalekites (Exodus 17:8–16) as our theme. Joshua led the battle on the field, and Moses interceded with God for victory on top of a nearby hill with his hands raised before God. As long as Moses' hands were raised, the Israelites were winning. When Moses tired and began to lower his hands, however, the battle turned against Israel. So Aaron and Hur held up Moses' hands for him, enabling him to perform his critical intercessory role in the battle. We see ourselves as Aaron and Hur, "lifting the hands" of our staff and key volunteers by praying for them. Stay FocusedComing alongside your church leaders is central to praying effectively for them. Remember that the prayer is about inviting God to work in and through your church leaders, empowering them for the work to which he has called them. Have an attitude of service, and keep the focus on God, and your prayer will have effects beyond your imagination. If you let the group become the focus—receiving reports on how ministries are going, seeking information from leaders, or giving feedback to your church leaders—you will lose focus on prayer and fail to lift up your leaders' hands. Keep It ConfidentialBe sure your group members understand that anything shared must be kept confidential. Our group signs a covenant to this effect, as much for the comfort of our guests as to remind ourselves of our commitment. A leader who knows you've signed a covenant will most likely share more deeply and openly. Seek GuidanceBegin praying as a group for the meeting and the entire process well in advance. Seek God's guidance regarding which church leader to invite, and ask him to prepare that person for the prayer time. Inviting a LeaderBy having a person come for prayer, your group is offering a great service to the person and to your church. You never know how God may work to restore and refresh a leader whom you didn't even know was hurting.



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ERROR: REFERENCE SOURCE NOT FOUND Despite this, people you invite may not completely be open to the idea. Some may be uncomfortable with it; others may see it as one more meeting to attend, one more duty to take care of. Be sensitive to this and don't push. You are offering a service, and you don't want to put pressure on anyone to accept. If any of your group members have a close relationship (personally or through ministry) with one of your church's leaders or volunteers, he or she may be a good person to invite. Explain that your group wishes to pray in-depth for him or her, on any issues—personal or ministry—that the guest wants to share. Let your guest know that anything shared in the meeting will be kept confidential. Above all, explain your group's desire to serve your guest. Setting up the Meeting EnvironmentIt's important to create a comfortable and confidential environment. If you normally meet in a public place, you should find a more private place for this particular meeting. Your guest may not be comfortable sharing personal or ministry information in a public place. Provide something for your guest to drink and maybe even cookies or light refreshments to put him or her at ease. And keep a box of tissues handy! Sometimes your guest may be led to share things that are deeply emotional. Give clear instructions at the beginning of your time, so that everyone has the same expectations. We have found it helpful to invite our guests to share any combination of personal and ministry concerns that God puts on their hearts. It doesn't hurt to restate that everything will be kept confidential. Listening and PrayingHave your guest share as God leads, taking as little or as much time as needed. During this time, group members should not ask questions for clarification or for further information; allow your guest to be as vague or as detailed as he or she is comfortable with. Remember, the goal is not to update the group on all the latest information; rather, it is to surround your guest in prayer. For "list pray-ers" (like me), this can be a bit uncomfortable at first, but trust the Holy Spirit to lead your group to pray. Sometimes having less detail can free the group to seek the Spirit's guidance in prayer rather than binding them to a list of specifics. Allow Ample TimeDon't rush your guest's sharing time. Allow moments of silence as needed. Have your group participate in this time in a prayerful attitude, lifting up your guest silently as he or she shares and in the moments of silence. When you sense that your guest has finished, ask if there is anything more; if not, go to prayer. Participate as LedWe encourage our guests to participate as God leads—whether joining in or simply relaxing and enjoying God's presence. Most of the guests with whom we have prayed have chosen to simply receive the prayer as a gift, rather than to participate themselves, but a few have chosen to pray with us. Tips for PrayerPraying as a group can be tricky, especially if your group doesn't regularly pray for extended periods of time. Here are a few tips to help you keep on track:

Encourage group members to pray briefly. This will keep everyone engaged.

Stay on one topic at a time, allowing the group to cover that topic together. Your guest will likely have shared many things; cover them one at a time as a group, moving on when there is a sense that the group has covered a given topic. Group members can pray multiple times on a given topic, again keeping each individual prayer brief and focused.

Focus your prayers on God, not on your guest. For example, a prayer like "May Pastor John find the time in his schedule to spend in prayer" tends to make Pastor John feel guilty rather than encouraging him. Such a prayer puts pressure on Pastor John to act, rather than asking for God's intervention. Focus the prayer on God. Pray something like "Father, please give Pastor John sweet times of communion with you." A prayer like this asks God to act rather than asking your guest to respond.



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Staying connectedPraying like this for church leaders and volunteers not only serves them and strengthens your church, but also helps to keep your group connected to the church. If you practice this on a regular basis, your group will develop relationships with church leaders and will grow in vision for various church ministries. You will become a conduit through which God blesses your church leaders, strengthens your church's ministries, and increases its fruitfulness.

—ANDREW WHEELER is the author of Together in Prayer. Copyright 2012 by Christianity Today.

Discuss1. Has your group ever spent time praying for church leaders and ministries? If so, what was it like?2. Who might your group invite for a time of prayer? How might you go about inviting him or her?3. What barriers do you think your group will face in doing setting up a meeting like this? How can you

overcome them?



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Pulling Off a Successful All-Church CampaignHere are the main benefits and challenges.By Bill Search

My favorite burrito is nearly 1,000 calories and has almost 40 grams of fat. Thanks to the company website, I was able to check out the nutritional value (or lack thereof) of my typical lunch at a popular restaurant. I was shocked and appalled—especially because I assumed that the burrito was healthier than other fast-food options. I was wrong.

The health disaster discovery was made after a friend gave me some advice in the weight room. "Bill," Dennis said, "If you really want the full impact of weight training, you need to watch what you eat as much you work on your lifting routine." After complaining that it is hard to eat healthy, quick, and cheap, I was encouraged to go online and check out the menu options. I was surprised how many good options are on fast-food menus and alarmed at all the bad ones I normally consumed. Dennis reminded me that regular exercise might build muscle, but if I am following it up with junk food, I will not get the full benefit.

It boils down to this: you cannot hit the gym and the French Fry Hut and expect to see dynamic physical change. That makes sense, of course, when we really think about it. But for some reason we think we can take the same approach with our spiritual lives.

Too many church dwellers figure that an hour a week in a worship service will eventually turn them into a spiritual dynamo, or at least a strong believer. They are often disappointed when they realize the truth—that our spiritual lives need to be holistic.

That's why connecting the weekend message to a spiritual community and to our personal devotions has exponential power—much like a great workout routine matched with a healthy diet. An all-church campaign is like that. It combines the intensity of the weekend message with the community and trust of a small group.

The BenefitsThere are three significant advantages to an all-church emphasis:

Focus. Be honest, do you remember the last sermon you heard? After laboring on a message for hours, the preacher delivers volumes of significant information in half an hour. Within a day, the hearers forget most of the message. This is tragic when you consider the importance of the message.

But when a sermon is linked to a group Bible study, it encourages hearers to take notes, listen with keen ears, and think about questions relating to the message. We pay more attention when we know we need to discuss what we are hearing.

Application. Small groups provide time and support to help church members apply the lessons learned in the sermon. Sermons share lots of great information, illustrations, and explanations of biblical texts. And many even include two or three application points. However, the application has to be vague, since it has to apply to all hearers.

When a group connects with a weekly sermon, a natural outcome is to ask how the sermon applies directly to each life in the group. It is energizing and enlightening when we hear about how others are applying God's truth to their unique contexts. Often those applications help us better apply the truth to our lives.

Growth. People do not like to be left out. When attenders from your church realize that the typical pathway for your church is to listen to the sermon and participate in a group that discusses the theme further, they do not want to miss it. This is especially true if the all-church emphasis occurs only once or twice a year. When the pastor stands before the congregation and explains that a particular topic is so important for this church



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ERROR: REFERENCE SOURCE NOT FOUND that everyone should participate, it creates a higher incentive for people unconnected to join a group. In the years I have participated in all-church campaigns, everyone has produced an increase in group participation.

The ChallengesPulling off a successful all-church emphasis can be tricky. It requires hard work and coordination. There are a few items to consider as you enter the exciting world of campaigns.

Timing. Regardless of where you live, launching an all-church campaign in June is seldom a good idea. School lets out, members head toward vacation spots, and life gets a bit crazy in the summer. The fall and winter tend to be the best times for a successful emphasis. With September and January, you capitalize on the start to a new school semester—plus families are less prone to travel.

Frequency. Most churches that are experienced at campaigns will insist that once or twice a year is plenty for an emphasis. More often than that and it will not feel special.

Leadership. Because campaigns often produce a growing number of people interested in small groups, you will need to be prepared with new leaders. Don't skip over training them in the essentials of leading a group well. Do move quickly to harness the energy of the campaign.

While there are plenty of other issues in developing a campaign, these simple steps will get you started. This approach to church synergy and group development is exciting and potentially explosive. It is worth every ounce of energy you throw at it.

—BILL SEARCH is author of Simple Small Groups: A User-Friendly Guide for Small-Group Leaders. Copyright 2009 by Christianity Today.

Discuss1. Has your church held campaigns in the past? If so, how were small groups involved?2. What kind of campaign do you think your church could benefit from? Why?3. Do you think your group members could get on board with a campaign? Why or why not? What might you

need to do to motivate them to get on board?



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Why I'm Such a Believer in Sermon-Based Small GroupsThree reasons that just might convince youBy Jay Firebaugh

If I had my way, all small groups would base of their studies on the weekend message. Here are three reasons I'm such a big believer in sermon-based small groups.

1. They're holistic. In a traditional church you go to a Sunday school class and hear a Bible lesson. Then you go to the worship service and hear another. When you come back Sunday night or midweek you hear additional Bible lessons. All these separate Bible teachings can have the negative side-effect of training us to file away God's Word without fully applying it. We've been educated beyond our obedience!

One of the things I love about basing our small-group study on the weekly message is that it forces us to go back and re-examine how we were challenged by God's Word over the weekend. The emphases are integration and application. God's Word is meant to be obeyed, not just listened to or read. When we have time to further reflect on the Sunday morning message in our small groups, it's more holistic and better for our spiritual health.

2. They emphasize application. James 1:22 says, "Do not merely listen to the Word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." In our weekend worship services we listen to the Word, but it's in our small groups where we focus on helping each other apply the Word.

Even though I prepare questions every week for our small groups that relate back to the weekend message, I really ask the same basic question over and over: How are we going to help each other fully obey this? This is a good practice.

3. They're reproducible. The hardest groups to multiply are ones that require a skilled teacher. When the basis of the Bible study is the weekend message, the study is much simpler to lead. All the leader has to do is get everyone to turn to the Bible passages covered in the weekend's message and ask a few questions, maybe even questions the pastor brought up during the sermon. The leader also could put each question on a different slip of paper and give one to each person as they arrive. Then individuals can ask the questions they were given. A third option is to have each person ask his or her own question based on the sermon or Bible passage. The key is to stress questions that help your group apply the lesson taught over the weekend.

Sometimes people object to sermon-based small groups because people may miss the message if they're gone or serving in another area of the church. But really, that doesn't matter. The point is not to go back and re-cover the sermon or to critique the message. You are simply re-reading the main passages and answering application-based questions about some of the main points. Yes, if you heard the message, you're at a better starting point. But even people who didn't hear the sermon can respond to the biblical truths in the verses.

I don't think this is the only way to do small groups. But I deeply appreciate the built-in advantages to sermon-based small groups. They keep small-group ministry simple and plugged into the church's goals and teachings.

—JAY FIREBAUGH is the Director of Small Groups at New Life Church in Gahanna, Ohio. Copyright 2011 by Christianity Today.

Discuss1. What are the benefits of sermon-based small groups?2. Consider basing your discussion on the sermons during the next sermon series. How might you prepare?



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ERROR: REFERENCE SOURCE NOT FOUND 3. Do you feel resistance toward basing your small group discussion on the sermon? If so, how might you

overcome that resistance?



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Getting Everyone to Support Small-Group MinistryWhy it's critical for the entire church leadership to get on boardBy Rick Howerton

There are multiple leaders in church life that make a small-group ministry transformational and aid in spiritual and numerical growth. Every leader in the church, from the small-group leader to the senior pastor, is vital in creating a healthy, flourishing small-group ministry. Understanding the role each plays is an essential key in the creation of a leadership synergy that swirls throughout the church and builds tornado-like momentum.

Small-Group LeaderThe small-group leader is the most essential of all in making a small-group ministry transformational. They're the ones hearing group members' stories and integrating the greatest story of all, the gospel, into the lives of group members. They're the ones handing out hope and working in tandem with the Spirit to bring healing when necessary. They're the ones holding group members' hands in hospital rooms and serving alongside group members in service projects. They're the ones teaching people the meaning of the Bible as well as how to use it. They're the ones encouraging group members to carry out spiritual disciplines. They're serving as models and mentors for people who are in need of someone to take them on a journey far beyond their own comprehension.

But they are not alone in small-group ministry. Or at least, they shouldn't be.

Senior PastorSenior pastors often overlook the important role they play. Unfortunately, some senior pastors will be hesitant to be the voice calling people into small-group ministry. Sometimes it's due to having a humble heart; sometimes it's just not realizing the amount of influence he or she has. Either way, this is a mistake.

I'll never forget a conversation I once had with an elder at one of the churches I pastored. The children's ministry was in need of workers. I had asked the children's pastor to cast vision for the ministry and make a plea for people to join her in her work during our worship services. She had done this on multiple occasions with little response. One Sunday morning following the worship gathering, one of the elders approached me and said, "Pastor Rick, we need you to make a plea to the congregation for children's ministry workers. We really need help and only your voice is going to get a solid hearing." I was hesitant, but we'd tried everything else.

The following weekend I did just that. I shared the children's pastor's vision with the church. I explained that we needed people who resonated with that vision to join her. And I pointed them to the children's pastor to have their questions answered. Much to my surprise, many people joined the team that day. But it shouldn't have been a surprise. Senior pastors need to realize just how much influence God has given them, and they need to use that influence to help funnel people into the church's ministries, including small groups. A few things a Senior Pastor will want to do are listed below.

Cast vision for the small-group ministry at least every 30 days from the pulpit. Tell stories of lives changed through small groups via video, testimonies, or sermon illustrations. Be in or lead a group, and talk about your small-group experiences in conversations with church

members and from the pulpit. When necessary, let church members know of the need for small-group leaders and apprentices and

who they can talk to for more information. When leading public prayers, pray for the small-group leaders. At every opportunity remind decision-making church leaders (elders, deacons, finance team, trustees,

etc.) how important this ministry is to the church. Go to bat during the budgeting process, asking for money for the training, nurture, and resourcing of

small-group leaders. Remember: we put money into the things we deem most important.From SMALLGROUPS.COM © 2012 Christianity Today page 21

SmallGroups.com


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ERROR: REFERENCE SOURCE NOT FOUND Drop in during small-group events and training opportunities, spending time thanking the leaders for

all they are doing, and telling them how small groups help to accomplish the church's mission. Be a sounding board and friend to the person spearheading the small-group ministry. Encourage every staff member and elder to be part of a small group. Encourage church members to join a small group. Make small groups one of the expectations of church membership.

EldersElders are also vital players in small-group ministry. While they may not be incredibly visible, they're decision makers for the church, and they decide what the church will emphasize. Since most elders are lay persons—not full-time pastors on staff—the rest of the congregation will often watch their lifestyles to determine how they should live their lives in relation to Christ and his church. It is for this reason that the following expectations for elders are important.

Be involved in a group. Pray daily for the small-group pastor and the small-group leaders. Elevate the role of the small-group ministry in your mind and in your discussions. Make biblical community one of the core values of the church. Make being in a small group an expectation of every church member. Encourage church members you come in contact with to be in a small group. When given the opportunity, tell stories of life-change that has taken place because people are in small

groups. Annually review the work of the small-group ministry and be certain it continues to be driven by

biblical principles and practices. Have the back of the small-group pastor when people question a call made or the integrity of the

ministry.

Other Staff MembersStaff members overseeing other areas of ministry often see themselves as unimportant to the small-group ministry. They have their own ministry, and they see no reason to consider their role in the ministry of small groups. But staff members are vital to having a thriving small-group ministry and should do the following.

Be an active member of a small group. Consider leading a small group. Talk about small groups and encourage people in your ministry to join small groups. For instance, the

choir director should encourage the choir members to join small groups. Tell stories of life-change that took place in small groups—whether they're your own or from others in

your ministry. Use small-group principles and practices in your own ministry when appropriate. Also encourage the

staff to follow small-group principles and practices when they meet. This will create a group culture in the church.

Pray for the small group you're in.

It takes a team of leaders, not just a small-group leader, to create a healthy small-group ministry. When every leader in the church believes in and embraces the importance of small groups in the disciple-making process, the church will grow spiritually and numerically. Do your part in supporting this vital ministry.

—RICK HOWERTON is the Global Groups Environmentalist for NavPress Publishers and a regular blogger. Copyright 2012 by Christianity Today.

Discuss1. As a small-group leader, do you feel that the church leadership has your back? Why or why not?2. How can you share stories of transformation from your meetings so others can get excited about small

groups?3. What kind of support do you most need? How can you communicate this to your coach and the small-

group staff?



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God's Foundation for CommunityLearning from the early churchBy Seth Widner

When I began in small-group ministry, I felt like a kid in an ice cream shop. There were so many different flavors to choose from! Everywhere I looked I saw different models and types of small groups—open groups, closed groups, men groups, women groups, family-style groups, cell groups, neighborhood groups, sermon-based groups, organic groups, prayer-based groups, Bible study groups, and more. Although each individual flavor had a unique taste, they were all good. I began to study the different styles of small groups, looking for the perfect model for my own ministry.

After choosing my group style, I began to study countless SmallGroups.com articles and books. I wanted to learn how to create an effective small-group ministry in my context with the style I had chosen. I discovered wonderful tips about my specific small-group style. Over time, I learned helpful techniques and gained much insight. Each time I discovered something that would benefit the life of my small-group ministry, I quickly applied it. Each application created a current of positive momentum.

Before I knew it, I was overseeing 30 small groups and our church was shepherding over 500 adults. All of this happened in only two years! Our small groups were thriving and lives were being changed weekly. Based on numbers, we were experiencing great success.

But something happened in our third year. Our dynamic small-group ministry slowly began to unravel before my eyes. For some reason, we experienced a high turnover rate in leaders. Although we were still training new leaders, existing leaders were slowly turning in their resignations. Although each leader would give me a different reason for walking away, I could hear and see the real reason: they were burned out. What used to work well was no longer working for us, and I had no idea what to do. I wondered if I had chosen the wrong style or technique after all.

Deep within my heart, I sensed that something was missing from our small-group ministry. During the next several months, I turned to God's Word for answers. I began to pray, pleading with God to show me what was lacking.

What I found was a beautiful picture of biblical community. As I took delight in God's Word, my soul began to be refreshed. The fearful feelings of burnout began to flee from my heart. And my hopeless situation became saturated with hope. I learned that the problem with my small-group ministry didn't rest in the specific style or technique. The problem was deeper than that. We lacked a biblical foundation.

Have you been there? Have you felt like something was missing in your small-group ministry? If you have, you know you need more than just simple tips or a new technique. You need information that will keep your small-group ministry running for the long haul. As I searched the Bible, I found God's foundation for small-group ministry. And the best part is that this foundation works for whatever style of small groups you lead.

A Sneak Peek at the Early ChurchAs I studied Scripture, I found a wonderful verse. Acts 2:42 says, "They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer." The word "devoted" seemed to jump off the page at me. I wondered what it meant to be devoted to something. With some research, I came to understand the word refers to continuing steadfastly. I spent time meditating on this concept, and began to recognize the power in devotion. God also taught me a key truth about biblical community. If a group of people is going to experience lasting friendships, each person must be fully devoted. You are either all in or all out. In God's design for community, there is no room for middle ground. Close friendships are not established by chance. They require deep devotion.



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ERROR: REFERENCE SOURCE NOT FOUND Four Devotions We Must ShareAccording to Acts 2:42, the early Christians expressed deep devotion to Christ and one another. But how? Within this verse, we clearly see four devotions, or patterns, that were commonly shared by the early Church. These devotions were not an array of options to be selected. Each devotion laid the foundation for their daily lives. They established commonly shared practices that would unite them in friendship and purpose.

Apostles' TeachingIn the early days of the Church, the apostles were the spiritual leaders. Jesus invested much time in teaching them about his desire for people as they walked with him in his ministry. Their teachings consisted of the lessons Jesus had shared with them. The apostles would link the Old Testament with Christ's purpose and ministry. In those days, the New Testament had yet to be finished. So the apostles' teaching provided the spiritual map for the early Christians to follow. And they faithfully devoted themselves to it.

Today we have the whole Bible, the completed gift of God's Word. What a blessing! So we follow the apostles' teaching by learning from both the Old and New Testaments. Just like the early church, our small groups must be fully devoted to God's Word. We must read it, meditate on it, obey it, and share it with one another.

FellowshipThe early church enjoyed spending time together, and they gathered consistently. Hebrews 10:24–25a says, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another." It is important for small-group members to be fully devoted to group gatherings. We must continue meeting steadfastly. When people show up, it brings encouragement to the leader and members. It also paves the way for lasting friendships to be shared. Quality time always comes from quantity time.

Breaking of BreadThis phrase applied to sharing the Lord's Supper (Communion) and common meals. Something special happens when we share a meal with friends! It seems to open the door into a deeper understanding of one another. As we eat, we share about our life experiences. We learn about our dreams, hopes, passions, failures, fears, struggles, and victories. Whether it is the Lord's Supper or a common meal, Christ is there with us. By sharing a meal, we have the opportunity to grow closer to God and one another.

PrayerThe early Christians talked to God, both individually and together. They prayed for and with one another. It is important for us to follow their example today. Some leaders may feel nervous about praying together because some group members aren't comfortable praying out loud. It's okay! New practices always feel awkward at first. Find out who is comfortable praying out loud and have them begin. You don't have to force people to pray out loud if they are scared. Just don't neglect to pray because of members' fear. I've found that although every Christian isn't comfortable praying out loud, all Christians want to be prayed for.

Unlocking Biblical CommunityWhen our small groups live out these four devotions, we unlock the door to biblical community. God has designed these practices to draw us closer in our friendship with Him and with one another. No matter what style of small group you lead, each of these devotions must be commonly shared by group members. I want to encourage you to incorporate each one. Be intentional. You'll love the difference it will make. For God's design always rings true.

—SETH WIDNER is Family Pastor of The Journey Church in Fernandia Beach, Florida. Copyright 2012 by Christianity Today.

Discuss1. What are the elements that all small groups at your church must include? Are they similar to the four

patterns the author points out?2. Which of these four does your group regularly engage in? Which ones do you struggle with?3. How might having all small groups in your church devoted to these same elements bring greater unity to

your small-group ministry and church?



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A Battle P.L.A.N. for Conquering GossipPrepare for when real sharing crosses the line into real gossip.By Rachel Gilmore

Pastor Tim Filkins of Risen Savior Bible Chapel (Frankfort, Ill.) is a former United States Marine and police officer. Yet his law enforcement experiences are nothing compared to the challenges he deals with daily as a pastor.

"Being a pastor is all about having hard conversations with people," Filkins says. And some of those hard conversations address people's conversations . . . about other people.

"Gossip is so easy. It's like a snowball," Filkins shares. "It's even enjoyable sometimes, getting everyone on your side and agreeing with you."

It's only natural that the small-group environment is perfect for gossip to take root and branch out. Put a handful of people together, encourage them to build relationships with each other and support one another, ask them to talk about what's going on in their lives and "get real" with each other, and conversations can quickly, and subtly, change from factual sharing to not-so-factual gossip. As a leader, you need to know when dissension and gossip are coming so you can plan for it.

P – Prepare for ItAccording to Filkins, dealing with gossip is like dealing with the Enemy, one who's insidious and able to infiltrate normally unified ranks. Gossip in your safe, happy small group can sneak up on you and spin out of control before you even realize there's a problem. So be ready.

Form a CovenantPut a covenant in place at your group's first meeting that identifies what gossip is and clearly states that it will not be tolerated. Whether you do this in writing or as an oral agreement is up to the personality of your group, but make sure you do it. If your group started without one, consider opening an upcoming meeting with a reflection on Philippians 4:1-9, focusing on 4:8:

"Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse" (MSG).

Remind your group about the dangers of gossip and agree unanimously to avoid it.

Hold Yourself AccountableStay in regular contact with your small-group pastor and other group leaders. It's a great way to hold yourself accountable in your leadership and provide a safe place to raise any concerns you have about particular members or issues that seem to be rooted in bitterness regarding church members or leaders. Use your pastor and fellow leaders as a source of wise counsel and advice for handling these tricky situations.

Get Some HelpIdentify a trusted member of your group who can help you listen for conversations that are moving toward gossip. This could be your apprentice, a co-leader, or a mature group member.

"We have to be watching. Someone has to be monitoring . . . to make sure the Enemy's not getting a foothold," says Filkins. Sometimes that's very hard to do when you're in the midst of facilitating group discussion and Bible study. Filkins points to 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1 and their descriptions of overseers. "It helps if you have someone assigned to watch for gossip and call it out so you can address it," he adds.


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L – Label ItWhen a leader is aware that gossip is going on within the group, labeling it is key to getting rid of it.

"You may have that big talker person who is not really gossipy but just wants to talk. The leader has to be intentional with that person (to curb the conversation and allow others to talk)," Filkins shares. Focus the person's sharing on personal stories, and make sure the sharing doesn't cross over into gossip. If it does, be sure to point it out and label it for what it is.

When group members begin sharing negative things, the leader needs to be on guard. Not because criticism or rebuke is not allowed, but because this negativity can quickly escalate to gossip. Whether it's comments about another person in the church, another small-group leader, or the leadership of the church, it is never okay to give someone a platform to gossip, Filkins says.

Once gossip has been identified, it must be addressed privately, not in front of the whole group. "The leader needs to say, 'I know this is important to you, but you and I need to find a time to talk and make a plan to address this," Filkins advises. It is not ignoring the issue; it is a postponement of the conversation, allowing the leader to refocus the group, says Filkins.

A – Address ItThose hard conversations are what come next for the leader. A postponement to a private time after the meeting or within a day or two is okay, but don't let the opportunity pass to address the source of the problem.

People are people. They like to feel wronged and hurt, to be the victim, to get support for what they perceive to be injustices against them or their cause. Yet it is the leader's job to listen and give good biblical advice from Matthew 18 and the biblical principles of conflict resolution.

The leader has to say to the gossiper(s): Have you talked to the other person yet about this? If not, you have no business talking about it here.

"The Enemy plays with their emotions. Sometimes they don't know how to address [the conflict] or it's hard. Matthew 18 is so clear on conflict resolution, but it is so hard because you have to talk with the person you're having problems with," Filkins says.

The other tool to use within the group setting is to "redirect to blessing," as Filkins calls it. The leader clearly labels the conversation as gossip and asks to talk privately with the person later; however, the leader also uses this moment to refocus the speaker on the holy things, the good things God is doing in his life.

"Ask them, 'How is God using small group or the church to bless you?' If they are stunned by the question, let other people share first," Filkins explains.

N – Never Give UpSmall group is where Christian life happens. As leaders, we know the incredible joy we experience as we see lives transformed through faith. We also know the deep despair and frustration we feel when our group members act like, well, human beings, with all their quirks and foibles.

However, part of a leader's job, says Filkins, is to constantly be reiterating the mission of the church as a whole and keeping the group connected to the larger church. Letting gossip about church members or leaders find a home in your group is a sure way to splinter that unity.

"If someone's causing division, the inclination is to love them and not let them go," says Filkins. The loving part is true enough, but there comes a time where group leaders need to stand up for the spiritual health of the group and the church and confront that person's destructive behavior, offering a chance to change. If the divisive spirit continues, that person needs to be removed from the group setting and worked with outside the small-group meeting with the input and assistance of church leadership, Filkins advises.





ERROR: REFERENCE SOURCE NOT FOUND "The leader has to say to them, 'We want you here, but we can't have this.' That part of the conversation is very difficult," Filkins shares. "But leaders have to lead, and that means tough discussions, tough conversations."

So take those words of Philippians 4:8 to heart: "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." And be on guard for when real sharing crosses the line to real gossip.

—RACHEL GILMORE is author of The Complete Leader's Guide to Christian Retreats and Church Programs and Celebrations for All Generations.

Discuss1. In what ways has gossip visited your group? How did the gossip start?2. What keeps you from calling out gossip when you see it? How might you overcome this issue?3. What things can you do to prevent gossip from happening? What are you already doing?









Is There a Disconnect?Warning signs that a small group is wandering away from the churchBy Tom Bandy

There is a big difference between managing committees and nurturing small groups. I find that this misunderstanding in an established church often leads to mistakes in small-group management. And mismanagement can result in disconnected small groups.

Training Dogs v. Raising RabbitsCommittee oversight is like training dogs. Dogs have a collar and leash. The church tells the dog to fetch and roll over, and if the dog doesn't do what it's told to do, the board jerks the leash and says "Bad dog!" When it comes to committees, the last thing a church wants is a creative dog. Committees don't easily wander away from the church because they are always meeting with the supervisor, writing reports, and asking permission before doing anything risky.

Small-group management, however, is like raising rabbits. Rabbits are incredibly inquisitive creatures, and they tend to get into everything and wander everywhere. You can't put a leash on a rabbit, but you can build a fence. You can establish boundaries within which rabbits can wander freely, but beyond which they cannot stray. Don't expect small groups to write reports, ask permission, and attend board meetings. Do define expectations and establish boundaries.

Of course the primary "fence" that surrounds a church in the business of raising small groups is the congregational consensus of core values, beliefs, vision, or mission. The pastor may receive feedback that a small group (or small-group leader) has acted in such a way as to undermine values, contradict beliefs, swerve from vision, or distort mission. Clearly that is a warning sign that the pastor or small-group coach urgently needs to talk with the small-group leader to explain or correct behavior.

Warning SignsThe truth is that if you wait to receive feedback that a rabbit has gotten over the fence, it may be too late to do much about it. Fortunately, there are warning signs that can precipitate an intervention before anything so drastic might occur.

Infrequent Weekend AttendanceThe first warning sign is that small-group members, and particularly the small-group leader, are not attending worship regularly. We are familiar with counting worship attendance, but we don't often intentionally name who is there. Churches that are in the business of "raising rabbits" always look for the small-group leader in worship. They track his or her attendance through the year. They also expect the leader to track the worship attendance of small-group participants. Indeed, every small-group meeting ends with the words: "See you in worship!"

The more small groups you have, the more intentionally you have to track worship attendance. Rabbits always return to the place where they are fed. If rabbits fail to show up, it indicates they are getting food somewhere else! Small-group leaders should at least attend worship an average of three weeks out of four. There may be fluctuations due to illness, work, and family holidays, but they are very consistent. Small-group participants may not all be members (or Christians), but as a rule of thumb at least two-thirds of a small group should be tracked in worship once a month. As groups mature in faith, they may set even higher expectations for worship.

Missed Training EventsThe second warning sign that a group might wander from the church is that the small-group leader fails to attend regular training or coaching sessions. We are familiar with annual training sessions for Sunday school teachers or weekly rehearsals for musicians, but many churches are undisciplined about intentional coaching





ERROR: REFERENCE SOURCE NOT FOUND for small-group leaders. Churches that are in the business of "raising rabbits" are always upgrading the training of small-group leaders. You might consider, for instance, an intentional training session once every quarter.

These "continuing education" sessions help small-group leaders stay aligned with the mission of the church. They help leaders solve emerging problems (e.g., personality conflicts, theological questions, ethical dilemmas) and overcome plateaus in building relationships or faith (e.g., boredom, anxiety, frustration). More importantly, these sessions build relationships of trust among small-group leaders themselves, and reinforce the basic values, convictions, mission, and vision of the church in their personal lives. Quarterly training sessions grow expertise and loyalty, making it far less likely that a small group will wander away from the church.

Critical HeartThe third warning sign is that a small-group leader is becoming critical of the credibility of the pastor. This is very different from criticism about the expertise of a pastor. Pastors are often vulnerable to criticism about skills, and wise pastors know that in this age of change we are often incompetent again within a month of getting more training. Pastors are always on a steep learning curve, and criticism from a small-group leader about skills usually just means they are on a quest for quality. An issue over skills rarely causes a small group to wander.

The issue of credibility, however, is far more serious. If a small-group leader publicly criticizes a pastor's integrity, spirituality, or calling, then it's a sign that a small group might be contemplating a departure from the church. The small-group leader might see himself or herself in competition with the pastor, and may imagine filling the role of pastor to a new church. Their self-perception may be encouraged by the small-group participants, and this makes the small-group leader bolder in his or her criticisms. This is how many churches have split.

Personal mentoring between a spiritual leader (like a staff member or coach) and a small-group leader can defuse competition, restore humility, and define the true calling of a small-group leader.

The Fruit of Heeding Warning SignsThe best news of all is that churches that heed these warning signs always multiply more rabbits. Church members and seekers beyond the church see the intentional care given to support small-group leaders. That gives them confidence to take a risk by joining a small group themselves and sharing their lives with others. It also encourages potential small-group leaders to step up. Even the most faithful people fear that they are being presumptuous to ever imagine being a small-group leader. However, when they experience the connection with worship, receive ongoing training, and respect the integrity of the pastor, they will happily step up, and will be happy to stay inside the fence.

—TOM BANDY is the founder of www.ThrivingChurch.com. Copyright 2012 by Christianity Today.

Discuss1. Does your small-group ministry have clear boundaries set up for small-group leaders to work within?

What are they?2. Which warning signs have you seen in leaders? How might you address your concerns and help them to

reconnect?3. How can you be more conscious about looking for these warning signs and addressing them before they

get out of hand?





http://www.ThrivingChurch.com/


Further ExplorationWebsites and books to help churches and small-group leaders minister to couples

SmallGroups.com . We specialize in equipping churches and small-group leaders to make disciples and strengthen community.

Coaching Small-Group Leaders (Practical Ministry Skills)

Launching a Church-Wide Campaign (Practical Ministry Skills)

Sermon-Based Small Groups (Practical Ministry Skills)

Small-Group Assimilation Strategies (Practical Ministry Skills)

Living the Resurrection Reality (Church Discipleship Campaign)

LeadershipJournal.net. This website offers practical advice and articles for church leaders.

Activate: An Entirely New Approach to Small Groups by Nelson Searcy and Kerrick Thomas. Drawing from the startling success at The Journey Church, The authors provide proven strategies and offer 12 unconventional principles for success (Regal Books, 2008; ISBN 978-0830745661).

Building a Church of Small Groups: A Place Where Nobody Stands Alone by Bill Donahue and Russ Robinson. In this essential handbook you'll discover why small groups are so vital to church health. Written by two to today's top authorities on small-group ministry, this book is a proven blueprint for health and spiritual vitality in your church (Zondervan, 2005: ISBN 978-0310267102).

Coaching Life-Changing Small Group Leaders by Bill Donahue and Greg Bowman. Donahue and Bowman offer field-tested biblical advice on the coaching keys of modeling, guiding, envisioning, and equipping (Zondervan, 2004; ISBN 978-0310251798).

Simple Small Groups: A User-Friendly Guide for Small Group Leaders by Bill Search. Search lays out three patterns for success that don't lock you into one approach, the latest fad, or complicated procedures (Baker Books, 2008; ISBN 978-0801071539).

Walking the Small Group Tightrope: Meeting the Challenges Every Group Faces by Bill Donahue and Russ Robinson. Donahue and Robinson help you understand and deal with six dynamic areas every group leader must manage in order to create genuine, transforming small-group community (Zondervan, 2003; ISBN 978-0310252290).


ERROR: REFERENCE SOURCE NOT FOUND/ Further E

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http://www.christianbook.com/walking-tightrope-meeting-challenges-every-faces/bill-donahue/9780310252290/pd/52296?product_redirect=1&Ntt=52296&item_code=&Ntk=keywords&p=1018451

http://www.christianbook.com/simple-groups-friendly-guide-group-leaders/bill-search/9780801071539/pd/071539?product_redirect=1&Ntt=071539&item_code=&Ntk=keywords&p=1018451

http://www.christianbook.com/coaching-life-changing-small-group-leaders/bill-donahue/9780310251798/pd/251796?p=1018451

http://www.christianbook.com/building-church-groups-nobody-stands-alone/bill-donahue/9780310267102/pd/267102?product_redirect=1&Ntt=267102&item_code=&Ntk=keywords&p=1018451

http://www.christianbook.com/activate-entirely-new-approach-small-groups/nelson-searcy/9780830745661/pd/745661?p=1018451

http://www.smallgroups.com/downloads/biblestudy/churchdiscipleshipcampaigns/cdc10.html

http://www.smallgroups.com/downloads/training/practicalministryskills/bsg27.html





http://www.LeadershipJournal.net/

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