TREE.volume 1. issue 3.

CONTENTS1 Facebook ApologiesColt Laney3 CracksShannon Aberle4 Humble DicotCameron Switzer5 Analogous, AutonomousJ.P. Gonzalez6 FactsMercedes Gordon8 Mermaid, MermaidJohn Walker Beatty8 Killing CainMegan Bevis9 LeonardoAurea Bolanos10 Take A Deep BreathTeena Fultz11 From Green To RedJason Liske11 Pride Is Not UnchangingSarah Milhoff12 Breakfast ScandalWesley Golangco

Anybody 12Wesley GolangcoGet Through The Day 13Melissa Eisner

Medium 13Melissa EisnerLost Memories 13Mercedes Gordon

Bloodlust 14Alison RushSorry Daddy Missed 15Your RecitalDevon Batey

Music 16wb.st.cAt The Helm 17Devon Batey

Constructive Comments 17w.b.st.c

Contributor Collage 27

To Merced:Tree was first conceived at the Coffee Bandits monthly poetrynight. Unlike more enlightened folks who can savor anexperience as it lives and dies, I like to be able to revisit art overand over. The act of hearing a song live or seeing a poem readcan be a transcendent experience. I was saddened by thethought that once poetry night is over, the poems are lost in thevoid. Hence, tree.Thanks to the Kickstarter, we can afford to print tree foranother year! Words from Merced will travel monthly all overthe US, from east to west, thanks to our generous backers.Thank you, donors, for believing in us and supporting the arts.Thank you, poets and artists who flood my inbox with beautyevery month.Tree is compiled with love and care by 3 individuals, JordanCowman, William Benjamin St. Clair, and Melissa Eisner. Wetry our best to assemble a poetry zine that selects poetry and artwith utmost fairness, respect, and quality. If you havesuggestions, submissions, complaints, praise, hate mail, pleasedon't hestitate to contact us through our website,www.treezine.net.

Keep writing!Jordan Cowman

If you’d like to submit art, poems, ramblings, to the nextissue of TREE, please email Jordan Cowman at

jdcowman@gmail.comor visit treepoetry.wordpress.com/submit.­TREE. editors

TREE.Editors

Jordan CowmanWilliam Benjamin St. Clair

Graphic DesignWilliam Benjamin St. Clair

Cover DesignUrsula Vasquez

TREE. Logo and CoBa AdMelissa Eisner

Justin DuckhamMarcia St. Clair

Ara CaseyOmar ChowaikiFrank Cowman

Loretta CashDenise Burkhardt

Jason LiskeAdam Trelatsky

Mike BurtonEleni Valas

...and everyone else whobacked TREE. on Kickstarter!

Special Thanks.

Tree Branches.Tree Branches are blogs, record labels, publications, web sites, musicians­­

anything culturally associated with Tree. Contact us if you would like to addyour project!

repetition.mobi ­ poetry blogconchandall.tumblr.com ­ poetry blogfacebook.com/nyxrecords ­ record labelseeseewriter.wordpress.com ­ poetry blog

1

Facebook ApologiesFacebook apologies as common as newspaper astrologies,With nearly half the truth,I chased her away with broken heart theology,Just put it down in the 'Tried Too Hard Chronology'Where she goes nobody knows,Don't search too hard you just might find her,And you shouldn't chase what you’re not really after,But... anything will do in the sweet pursuit of laughter,What does gender matter for a pair of flashing eyes,But you can’t ignore the difference in midnight cries,Not free but strained by the weight of countless lies,Pinched between desperate thighs, or lost between breathlesssighs,You had it once, you played the dunce,Drove away and left him there to stay, in a town of dust,While you pursued a youthful wanderlust,The american boy,so playful and coy,And you Cali Boy,Full of hate and quick to annoy,But quicker you fell for this american boy,Until you left him to burn in his tinderbox toy,And onwards we go, you can’t stop the show,With a quick wit, and a crooked smile,That forked tongue will line them up a mile,Spin them a story, win their affection,Then cast it away upon further inspection,

2

Ashley's and Christines, a Kate and a Molly,Marcie, Justine, and don't forget Holly,You took their love and it wasn't enough,When you cast them away you told them that's tough,But the jokes come around,Pick yourself off the ground,You can no longer discern what’s real in this hell,The honest reality lost amidst masculine lies,The false front to mask my feminine highs,All you must do is drop the curtain,Vanquish the thoughts that leave you uncertain,But instead you pull the door tight,All progress lost in your fright,Chase one more unwanted memory,Just for the sake of another's company,And now we're back to;Facebook apologies and newspaper astrologies,With less than a grain of truth,One more lie just might cave the roof,In on my house built of masculine lies,Holding all my feminine highs.

Colt Laney

3

CracksI used to hold you up on a pedestalUsed to think you were the picture of perfectionThat you were everything I wanted to beBut now I'm starting to seeAll the little cracks in your characterThe things that make you humanMake you crash back down to EarthCrushing meCausing me to second guess the nature of our relationshipTo flashback to ex­lovers and ex­best friendsTo all the lies and betrayal they strung me along withI'm starting to see the symmetry between you and themAnd meSeeing the cracks in my own characterIn my own lifeMy own mindSo I close my eyes and shut you outBreak down and cryWonder why you couldn't stay perfectCouldn't live up to the image of you I built up in my mindYou cracked under the pressure of my expectationNow you lay broken on the ground around meLike shattered glass at my feetWith a few pieces stuck in my skinThere to remind me you're just as human as I amJust as imperfectJust as brokenWith chips and cracks I can't unseeno matter how many times I blinkI want to go back to believingBut I'm not sure I want to take you back at all

Shannon Aberle

4

Humble DicotI force my way outfrom a crack so small,a seed, I was plantedsometime last fall.A speck in the EarthI give it a shot,to grow and flourishfrom this humble dicot.An immature twigis what they all see,stretched out so faryet barely reaching a knee.My first budI am quite proud,the humans all gatheras I center the crowd.What is this feelinga presence so new,they gasp in aweat my beauty so true.After the celebrationthey leave me to be,a future I forgeof becoming a tree.Seasons have goneand children will go,yet all I dois sit here and grow.I have cried and bledfrom initials and hearts,stupid young teenscarving out my bark.

A lovers retreatis what I've known,passion and graceis all I've been shown.At last, it has happenedI have become quite old,a pleasure it has beenwith a history so bold.The industry is boomingand advancing my way,yet I will stand stronguntil my dying day.A machine of yellowthat expels black hate,has come with a messageabout my soon fate.But all of a suddenout of the blue,a group of loversthe ones I once knew.Gathered aroundand protected my core,they fought back my demonsto keep me years more.Because of my childrenthe ones I watched grow,I am still herewith their love at my toe.I will shelter and protect youfrom the harshes of the sky,and love you foreveruntil I wither and die.

Cameron Switzer

5

Analogous, AutonomousAnalogous;Alike enough to hold hands;We are gentle binaries, orTwin sets of information.Factual exposures,Collating toes beneath the covers,Perpetual associationFrom the fever of skin on skin.Autonomous;Sound identities in a disparate blur;One of me, one of you,As two solutions authored to dissolve theInstability of wondrous experience.We hold ourselves in our arms,Lift ourselves high unto the SourceSo that others may rely on our operation.Analogous... Autonomous...Analogous... Autonomous...Us together... You and I.

J.P. Gonzalez

6

FactsI find myself placing my hand on my chest to makesure my heart is still beating these days.The mirror has become my new worst enemy.Looking into my eyes, our eyes,slitting my emotion with a blink.But I keep staring until I don't know the differencebetween you and my reflection.I'm bleeding from the insideMy father is dead.How dare that statement seem so simple.I tried to convince myself seeingthose four words in plain textwould make it easier to accept.I need to write it by hand 1000 timesSo that my mind will embrace it as a causality,Like newspaper headlines about world tragedies.Let the syllables sit in my throatuntil my body rejects the emotional waste.That's rotting at the core of my soul.My father is dead.Blood is blue before it's red.Zebras have stripes.Death kills more than the person who is no longer breathing.Just another thing to add to a long list of facts.

Mercedes Gordon

7

8

Mermaid, MermaidMermaid mermaid,Quick as a silent switch blade.Sings you to the hidden rocks,you lose your mind like Captain Hook, tick tock tick tock.Tie the sails, pull the ropesMore dangerous than a lycanthrope.The siren's song is your heroineNo one can resist, not a single one.Eric, love at first sight, or more like the victim?Ariel, ginger with a dingle hopper or really a vixen?Sha la la la la la la la don't be shyTie yourself to the mast and sail on by

John Walker BeattyKilling CainI am stuck in my own apocalypse.In this war between "feels good" and "feels right"Between anarchy and dictatorshipsI find I must kill the Cain insideI betray myself like son against sonMy heart is at war like north versus southThese thoughts ricochet from a smoking gunHaphazardly from my rogue mouthI have to kill the Esau inside of meThat bastard twin would destroy everythingI'm chained to myself, never to be freeUnless I murder the source of of my sinThe Cain inside will face eternal deathI must murder him with my every breath.

Megan Bevis

9

LeonardoI lay here thinkingmaybe the child wants to die.I lay awake praying “Let him sleep tonight.The parents scream.He covers his ears.Trying to put his pajamas onHis fingers struggling while his hands ache with fear.The boy wishes he would die.I know because between his sobs he mutters and wishes he would die.Maybe he doesn’t understand death the way I do;The way you do.Even Death doubt he knows what she is;For there is nothing merciful about Death –She simply takes what she should and what she shan’t she leaves alonewithout mercy or woe.I can hear the boy beg for forgivenessAnd I can hear him pleading to Samneric to be well.But he isn’tand he knows that all too well.After a few minutes the room becomes silent;The night aches near.I lay awake listening to the boy sneer in reproachment.In his own way sheer.I lay tired listening to his parents argue and cry;the mother says he’s stupid.The father wishes this would stop.I restlessly lay my ear on the wall and whisper“Everything will be alright.”But the child doesn’t hear meAnd the screams come back to kill.

Aurea Bolanos

10

Take A Deep BreathTake a deep breath.What do you feel?Is it just a breath?No, it’s life.You, are alive.You are in this life.You are feeling.You are living.You are breathing.You, are alive.Do you feel it?Do you feel your body.Do you feel the air around you?Do you feel the sensations

of your senses?You, are alive.Can you feel it?Can you feel your life?Can you feel you emotions?Can you feel your thoughts?You are alive.Do you feel it?Do you feel the pains?Do you feel the burdens?Do you feel the sorrows?You, are alive.

Can you feel it?Can you feel the calm?Can you feel the love?Can you feel the hope?You, are alive.Do you feel it now?Do you feel the strength?Do you feel the will?Do you feel the wisdom?You, are alive.Can you feel it now?Can you feel your dreams?Can you feel your heart?Can you feel your life?You, are alive.

Teena Fultz

11

From Green To RedFrom green to red, and red to green,my day finds you at the center.Needs and wants are abruptly arrested,smashed and trounced, off the center.I remember the place that forms you,the utter chaos, spring, in the center.A hand stretched, one up, one down,eyes ahead, searching, for the center.

Jason Liske

Pride Is Not UnchangingPride is not unchanging;It adapts to your constant degradation until you are shitI will be defined externally and internallyI will be a whore and a virginBut I will not be tamedI will not put myself in a cage,and I will not be caged by othersI will fiercely tear at the flesh of lifeAs it has torn into mineAnd we will degrade together until we are dirtFor the next bleeding girl to sink her fingers into

Sarah Millhoff

12

Breakfast ScandalThere’s no use hiding that bacon smoke from meI can see through this breakfast scandal.is that egg on your collar?I heard you with that English Muffingrinding her coffee beanspoaching her eggs.You low life, you wretch,I’m the most important person of your day.

Wesley Golangco

AnybodyAnd when I was with you, I wrote of love.And when I missed you, I wrote of emptiness.And when I forgot you, I wrote about everything.And now the “you” is anybody,and I can write about love or confusion,about emptiness and fulfillment,about anything and everything.

Wesley Golangco

13

Get Through The DayI am writing

a poema stupidinsignificantlousypoem

with no purposeat all

it seems I’ve beenwritingthis dirtystinkin’uselesspoem

for so many years.

MediumUnnoticed

but notIgnored

…tragic, soforgotten, sodiscarded, so

Reminiscent of me.A fingerprinton

A dusty chairinan empty room

Alone…tragic, soaverage.

Melissa Eisner Melissa EisnerLost MemoriesTicking clocks, Words flown, Babies Crying.The world around shattering into a million pieces.Protective instincts kick in with only seconds to think,the Father paying no attention to his self but focused on the youth.A voice like a siren shrieks and the running begins.Not till the world stops shattering does it seem to cease.Thoughts of the youth dwell in the growing adult inside,Memories once lost are remembered one day,Hidden deep inside so one doesn't have to think.The curiosity of an event happening to two very similar people.Is it remembered the same way or not at all,One day I will have to go and ask.

Mercedes Gordon

14

BloodlustIf you're afraid to love meI can't tell you that you're wrongIs it the trail of dead and disappointedStill clinging to the gory sinewsI used to string them along?I never meant to wound them soTo maim them with a wordI thought I was too kind for thatA conviction, in retrospect, just as absurdAs a cannibal renouncing fleshEvicting the part of her soulThat made her so uniquely unspeakableReplacing something holy with a holeAnd so it beginsI'll wean myself off the bitter bloodOf my careless consortsI'll no longer chew on fingersThat aren't attached to my own handsThe praying mantis has a pointBut that straightforward headless horrorPales like skin after the blood has drainedNext to the dread of losing youI'll be better, I swear I'll be betterI'll walk the blizzard barefoot with no sweaterYour warmth to thaw my brittle spine when I come backTogether we will fight the lethal white and gentle blackFor we are savage godsWe made ourselves this wayTranscended chaos only to become itLet our entropy drive us to the summitWe know what we will find thereBut that's hardly the pointAnd it is far too late to save the others anywayI love you, I love you, I love youPerhaps if I repeat it, saturate the air with itUntil my tongue groans like a rusted prayer wheelIt will take on that glow it has as it pounds in my veinsAnd even that is just a dim approximation of you…You, you, you. Alison Rush

15

Sorry Daddy Missed Your RecitalLearned the steps which waste knows.Tumbled from cans to cans.Pas de duex and highkicks for yesterday.Never sway back.The parties and cokeDanced a pungent green, lollipop stickExhausted and feeling frayedClinging to the tin.I Pirouette, spinAnd both my toes bled. never could standTo breath it all in, just dancersIn a line sparkling white;My garbage man wails,"That's my baby."Welling up, alive. highTours en l'air until I came back down,Hit the bottomin a mound of trashTo bag, tie, to drag gutters,Mind wringing outthe rest.Streams of bin­juice lightThe path to my home.SoubresautThe mess,Sure I'll keep flying on forgottenuntil the day she wishes my death.

Devon Batey

16

Musicmusicauditory experiencevisual experiencebody experiencewe control ourselves,through our claw,a spine,with nerveswhich sendfor musclesto contract(and organs).we feel our bodyas we have fingerswith our neckas our wrist.dancing withour fingertipswe glidethroughout life.auditory experiencevisual experiencebody experiencewhy does my hand care,whether I live or die?whether I live or die?whether I live or die?they are cellsthat do what they doand because they doI give them foodmy pastrami sandwichgives them lifeand giving them lifegives me lifeand for that...I am thankful.

auditory experiencevisual experiencebody experienceoh, no.music.did you ever think of music?as sound?a dynamic?we're a dynamic.a big fucking disco.a big fucking disco.a big fucking disco.a big fucking disco....phew.light.moves faster than waves.I mean, pressure waves.it gives us themost informationand that!­­the fastest....what we see­­what we feel,is what we sayis happening.auditory experiencevisual experiencebody experiencebut happening...that's happeningat coarser time scalescausesingle cellsdon't know love.don't know love.causesingle cellsdon't know love.

w.b.st.c

17

At The HelmCalling all worlds like anEpoxy lighthouse,An estimate of this that shinesCalling home, our es oh esOn the furthest shores­­Echoed es oh es onWalls of our milk cratesCaging planets of id and spun lightRefracted outward, (spun light)Calling all colour,Approx­ what is real in that case? That is,Es oh es­­ what cage isAs claylike, as fragile asThe light of the way home.At the helm of all selfConstructed card housesAre tables turning.Everything in outer­space is (dryland)Calling itself a center,Even the dryland at the edgeOf the universe, with our es oh esAt the helm of it,Pleading across the fog.

Devon Batey Constructive Comments% write code here.% it should say:% hello. I am awoken!% in a language% I can't understand.

w.b.st.c

18

From left to right, top to bottom:w.b.st.c, Jason Liske, Colt Laney, Melissa Eisner, Sarah Milhoff, MarkPrice*, Cameron Switzer, Alison Rush, Teena Fultz, Wesley Golangco,Teena Fultz, Megan Bevis, Aurea Bolanos, Devon Batey, MercedesGordon, J.P. Gonzalez, John Walker Beatty, Shannon Aberle, JohnWalker Beatty.

Thank You!