Tommy Simon Portfolio

8/3/2019 Tommy Simon Portfolio

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tommy simon

My name is Tommy Simon and I’d be a perfect fit for your copywriter position.

I received my Bachelor of Arts with Honors in Social Relations and Policy from the James MadisonCollege at Michigan State University in 2007. While at MSU, I also focused on Creative Writingearning 39 credits in that department.

I have since worked as a professional writer in several capacities, from stage and film to technical

and application writing.

I have completed the course work and am finishing up my thesis in order to receive my Mastersof Arts in Communications, Media, Theater Arts from Eastern Michigan University. My anticipateddate of graduation is June of 2012.

Like many Detroiters, I want our auto city to thrive. I believe we have the resources to make thathappen. My goal is to use my creativity to sell the products of this area, because that in turn willsell the entire area. Through innovative media we can show the world that Detroit is both a city of ingenuity and creativity.

I hope you enjoy my portfolio, please feel free to contact me at [email protected] or by phone at (313) 378-8897.



eneration X is from 1961 – 1981, Generationis from 1982 – 1995, and Generation Z is

rom 1996 – 2009. The only problem is thatext will be Generation, “I wish we started

”

BUSINESS



hellenicculturecenter

While employed at Zachary and Associates, Inc. I took the lead on the establishment of the Hellenic CulturalCenter at 67 E. Kirby in Detroit. My job was multi-faceted writing of grant applications, Facebook and websitecopy, and personal letters on behalf of the president. The following excerpt was used as an introduction to the

project and was featured on the website and in financial applications.

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The proposed Hellenic Cultural Center (HCC) at 67 E. Kirby in Detroit will offer a variety of services andprograms for members and non-members.

The museum, bookstore, and café will be revenue generating tourist destinations conveniently locatedamong the wide range of surrounding museums, art galleries, music venues, and restaurants. The HCCwill provide members, and for a small fee non-members, access to a wide range of resources and eventssuch as classes, workshops, lectures, genealogical tracing technology, literature, and more. The HellenicHeritage Society will supply general services to assist the operations of the HCC as well as the continuedgrowth and unity of the Greek community at large.

While I left Zachary and Associates, Inc. I remain close to this project and offer my services whenever necessary.The following are spec ads I designed for the project.

Greek culture: it was good enough for Socrates, and hethought about a lot!

Where do you think your gyro came from?

The only civilization to have a toga party everyday.

It’s all Greek to you, so come to HCC and we’ll translate.

Did you know you can see your future in Greek coffee?I totally just foresaw that you’d read this.

CONCEPTS

Without Isosceles there’d be no ice cream cone.

We knew about big fat Greek weddings before theywere cool.

Experience greek culture!

We brought you the Olympics, the least you could do is stopby and say, “Hello”.

Celebrate Diversity!



hellenicculturecenter

VISUALS

The only civilization to have a toga party everyday. Without Isosceles there’d be no ice cream cone.



oldtigerstadium

While employed at Zachary and Associates, Inc. I was given the task of writing large amounts of materialsfor the effort to save Old Tiger Stadium. The difficulty of this task was using a voice that spoke for the entireconservancy, which included established personalities like the late Ernie Harwell and Senator Carl Levin.

Notice how the following copy, which was used on the website and in funding requests, is informational andprofessional yet subtly conjures up an emotional response that wins over the hearts of baseball lovers.

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Currently it is the intention of the Old Tiger Stadium Conservancy non-profit 501(c)3 to rehabilitate thebuilding into a year round revenue generating facility for the city of Detroit. The proposed project entailsthe reuse of the historic ball park into a mixed-used sports oriented commercial complex. Currently, onlyfive high quality 90’ diamonds exist in the greater Detroit area. Additional programming options for the

field surface include, but are not limited to: corporate events, batting practice, weddings and privatefunctions, softball leagues, old rules baseball competitions, and movie nights. Surrounding the field,the 1912/1923 existing stadium will be reconstructed into a mixed-use sports complex featuring a bar/restaurant, a banquet hall, a Detroit baseball heritage site, office space, and retail space. This projectwill enable citizens of Detroit and residents from all over southeast Michigan to enjoy baseball activitiesthroughout the year.



helennewberry nurseshome

One of my biggest assignments at Zachary and Associates, Inc. was to write the nomination for the State andNational Historic Preservation Offices for the Helen Newberry Nurses Home at 100 E. Willis in Detroit. Thisproject involved painstaking research and argued that the building ought to be preserved on the basis of its

significant architect, significant people, and a significant time in history. Due to my work, the building hasbeen approved for both nominations, which protects the building and allows developers access to tax creditsto restore it. The following is an excerpt from the 20-page nomination.

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While the major growth period for the city of Detroit occurred in the early part of the 20th Century, rare traces remainfrom the late half of the 19th Century. The pre-automobile days of Progressive Era Detroit, 1890 – 1910, established afoundation of great wealth and philanthropy for the city on the brink of phenomenal growth and social change as a result

of the automobile boom about to occur.

The Architecture

The Helen Newberry Nurses Home on the corner of John R and Willis was built in 1898 to provide housing for studentnurses attending the Grace Hospital training school for nurses. Built in the Classical Revival style, the Helen Newberryhome is the last existing example of late 19th-century medical buildings constructed in this region. The building’s designwas cutting edge for the time; its style did not reach full popularity in the area until after the automobile boom almost 20years later. The Helen Newberry Nurses Home displays a soft and gentle appeal similar to the profession of the studentsit housed. The large oversized glazed brick offered a warm site reminiscent of Old English lifestyle. The arches above the

windows were not too steep, and often curved making them easy on the eye. The grey column limestone work in the center of the building is subtle and welcoming, offering an academic façade.

The building was designed by the prominent architect, Elijah E. Myers, known especially for his work in governmentbuildings. Myers is the only architect to have designed three United States capital buildings: Michigan State Capitol, TexasState Capitol, and Colorado State Capitol. After the Civil War, Myers moved to Detroit to continue working on the StateCapitol in Lansing. During his stay he designed many notable buildings throughout the state including Michigan StateUniversity’s President’s Home and the Grand Rapids City Hall. For Detroit, the most significant design was the Harper Hospital built in 1884, which was demolished in the early 1970s. As an eccentric and versatile architect, Myers oftenaccused other architects of stealing his designs.



Why did the Ninja Turtles wear eye masks? Dithis really disguise their identity? “Hey whawas that large moving green shelled object?

“I don’t know, it had an orange mask on.

SOCIAL MEDIA



VISUALS

menllenium

Menllenium is a parody boy band that I am in, and as a group we co-wrote a show that featured original scenesand music. But, I took the responsibility of the Facebook campaign, the writing and photoshopping. The goal wasto introduce the characters in a fun way while speaking from a voice that represented the entire production. While

each band member received his own pictatorial introduction, the following is JaySon, the bad boy of the group.

JaySon enjoying some free time. JaySon at one of his favorite hangouts.



studentsforeconomicjustice

While at MSU I worked for Students for Economic Justice (SEJ), a group whose goal was to make the universitymore labor friendly. As a result of my creative work the organization was able to organize several events thatgenerated turn outs with hundreds of people. SEJ successfully campaigned the university to join the Workers

Rights Consortium, a group that monitors factories that produce collegiate material. The following is copy Iproduced for Facebook for an idea I co-created with a term I coined called the, “Chill In.” This action attractedhundreds of students and was so successful, it was covered by MTV News.

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Friends:

Come chill with Students for Economic Justice (SEJ) and Movimiento Estudiantil Xicano de Aztlan (MEXA) MondayFebruary 7, 2005 at 1PM outside the Administration Building. For five years now we have been trying to end our school’s affiliation with sweatshop labor, and we are now closer than we have ever been at beginning to controlour school’s support of this terrible injustice. To do this we need our school to join the Worker Rights Consortium(WRC). Please come and bring every one you know, it is critical that we all show our administration that thestudents stand for justice. We will just be hanging out and having a good time!

For more information on SEJ go to:http://msusej.org.

For more information on the WRC go to:http://www.workersrights.org.



My iPod holds 10 days of music, which is coolexcept the battery only lasts for 4 hours

DIGITAL



how tolivesafely indetroit

The following are digital shorts I created for my YouTube page, youtube.com/tommybsimon.

NARRATORHow to live safely in the City of Detroit. Detroit isa dangerous place. The first priority is protectingyour house. The best way I’ve found to do thisis …

SHOW GUARD DOG SIGN

NARRATOR… the guard dog.

NARRATORMeet my protector, Artie.

ARTIE’S FACE CLOSE UP

VOICE OVER NARRATORDogs are descendants of wolves.

Artie rubbing himself on carpet.

SHOW WOLF IMAGE, TEXT: ARTIE’S MOM

VOICE OVER NARRATORNatural born killers. Artie intimidates.

Artie growling fighting for toy.

continued ...





VOICE OVER NARRATORHe’s stealth.

Artie stalking toy.

NARRATORHe’s a master of disguise.

SHOW ARTIE AS BEE, REINDEER, ANDBUSINESS MAN

NARRATORIt’s like living with my own personal secret service.

CUT BETWEEN NARRATOR AND ARTIE SITTING

VOICE OVER NARRATOR

All dogs have their instinctual specialties, I’drecommend his breed because he does this thingwhere he breaks the neck of his prey.

Artie tearing toy apart.

NARRATOR As a result his work is blood free, so there’s no mess.

continued ...

continued ...





NARRATORPeople who promote gun use for protectionalways leave out the part about the gross cleanup afterward.

Artie looks at camera.

CUT TO OUTSIDE SHOT OF ARTIE

VOICE OVER NARRATOR Artie, spends most of his day just surveying theneighborhood looking for burglars, carjackers,and squirrels.

TEXT: YOUTUBE.COM/TOMMYBSIMON

END

continued ...



is yourboyfriendcheatingon you


TOMMY Ladies, women, uh, ladies, girls of all ages. Isyour boyfriend cheating on you? If so call me,Tommy Simon, and we’ll give him a taste of hisown medicine. That’s 313-Tommy-Simon.

TEXT ON SCREEN: 313 TOMMY SIMON

TEXT ON SCREEN: TESTIMONIAL(S)

ELLEWhy did you come back here with the camera?

Well, so I called you.

TOMMY No, act like I’m not the one holding the camera.

ELLE

Oh, ok, so I called Tommy, and well … I wasn’treally sure what to expect. But it still wasn’t whatI expected.

TEXT: UNEXPECTABLE!

ELLEI mean it was a great concept really. Let me put itthis way, the advertisement, very flattering.

continued ...




TEXT: FLATTERING!!

ELLEMy dad would not have been upset with thatwe did.

TEXT: FAMILY FRIENDLY!

ELLESo I took a picture of us, together, and I showedit to my boyfriend, and he was like, “I didn’t knowyou had a little brother.”

TEXT: FAMILY FRIENDLY X 2

ELLENext time I’ll just go to a bar.

TEXT: INSPIRING!!!

TOMMY 2, 3, 4?

END

continued ...

is yourboyfriendcheatingon you

t t t



conven ent stores are so conven ent,hy don’t they have a drive-through?

SPEC ADS



specads

Keep your sleeve clean.

KLEENEX TISSUES POCKET PACK

The best way to get people to attend your meeting.

LITTLE CAESAR’S PIZZA



specads

“Hey, at least Grandpa won’t get flushed

down the toilet.”

Teaching mortality:

PET SUPPLIES PLUSLIBBEY GLASS

Display the drink.

If you can’t see through it, it’s not a glass.

I e scarves ecause t ey are a unct ona



I e scarves ecause t ey are a unct onause of left over material

COMMERCIAL



VIDEO AUDIO

momcar

The following are spec commercials I wrote for Ford cars.

Open on boy getting out of rear passenger side of Ford Tauruswith windows rolled down.

Cut to embarrassed boy walking into school with his friend.

Cut to Taurus pulling out of line up of “drop off” cars, all of

which are SUVs and minivans.

Cut to interview with Mom driving Taurus.

Cut to Taurus pulling up to driver’s side of Ford Fiesta with twogood looking guys stopped at red light.

The guys smile flirtatiously at the mom.

The mom flirts and smiles at the guys.

Mom turns back to see her baby in car seat crying.

Mom: Bye Andy!

Friend: I didn’t know you had an older sister?

Boy: That’s my mom.

Mom: It’s not that I’m ashamed to be a mom, it’s just that’snot the first thing I need people to think when they see me. Imean, I’m still young.

SFX: Baby cry

Mom: Don’t worry sweetie, we’re almost home then I’ll changeyour poopies.

Voice Over: It’s a mom car, but we won’t tell if you don’t.



VIDEO AUDIO

Open on guy stepping out of house in biker spandex.

Cut to guy in driveway pumping up car tires of Ford Fiesta withbike pump.

Cut to guy driving with windows rolled down, wearing helmet,and drinking water from bike bottle.

Cut to guy in office receiving package from businessman.

Guy looks at address label and complains.

Cut to guy driving with package in passenger seat.

Cut to guy returning package to businessman who looksconfused.

Businessman: These need to be signed and returned today.

Guy: But that’s like a 17 mile ride.

Businessman: Start peddling.

Businessman: That was quick.

Voice Over: With 42 miles per gallon, you might forget it’sa car.

fiestathebike

The following are spec commercials I wrote for Ford cars.



y watch is water resistant for up to 166 feet,

ut not waterproof. I believe all this means is Ian use a faucet that is 166 feet high.

FILM



SCRIPT

back andforth

The following is an excerpt from a feature film I wrote titled Back and Forth, currently Mockingshoe FilmCompany is interested in producing it.

CANDICEWell, that’s it, the signs say wet hands, add soap, lather, rinse,then while the water is running, grab the paper towel, dry hands,and then with the paper towel, turn the water off.

STEFANThat makes sense, so you don’t get the germs from the lever

on your hands. Which is one reason I don’t wash-

CANDICEBut no one does that.

STEFAN And it wastes a lot of water.

CANDICEPlus it just feels awkward. I tried it once when I saw the sign, and it

felt strange to walk away from the sink as the water was running.

CUT TO FLASHBACK OF BATHROOM SCENE

Candice standing next to paper towel dispenser, with water running in background, an unknown old lady walks in.

CANDICEHi?

The lady walks over and turns off the water.

Oh, you must think that I was just letting that run. Ha! It wasbecause of that sign, it says to dry your hands first.

Candice points to the sign.

LADY I know what you were going to do and I don’t find it very funnyyoung lady.

CANDICENeither do I, it’s not funny, I couldn’t agree more, I was justdrying my hands.

LADY Appalled. I taught middle school for thirty years, but someoneyour age, how old are you? 19?

CANDICE25, I’m in law school -

LADY Oh really? You should know then that you were breaking the law.

CANDICEOh, if I were doing what you think, whatever that is, yes,although not sure what that law would be actually, but the truth

is I couldn’t turn the faucet off, really I tried, it was stuck. Goodthing I loosened it up for you!



hey say the majority of the country can’t readast the 4th grade level, which makes you

onder , how did the majority of the country

SHORT STORIES



my suitisbeingheldhostageby my tailor

My blog, tommybsimon.blogspot.com, of fiction and creative nonfiction short stories is featured on the newhuffingtonpost.com/detroit webpage. The following is an excerpt from a short story:

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I brought the tux in, just to get a price estimate, and I explained that I basically wanted the suit completely refigured. Thiswould require him to not just shorten the length of the pants, but remodel the pants from pleats to flat fronts, and take inthe width of the leg. The jacket needed similar attention. I don’t know who these suits are made for. Are there short menout there whose limbs are as wide as a gallon of milk? That person would look very strange, walking around like the StayPuft Marshmallow Man. I don’t know why clothing companies have such a difficult time making suits that fit nicely arounda man’s body, legs, and arms.

I told him I wanted the lapels to be thinner, and he said, “I’m gonna have to judge you for it.” I wanted to say, well I amjudging you for wearing a very fake rug on your head, but that would have been rude.

I said, “Ok, you can judge me for it. But I also want the sleeves to be slimmer.”

And again he told me he was going to judge me.

I explained I wanted the coat to be a little shorter, and he still insisted on judging me.

Finally, I said, “look, you don’t need to judge me. I’m the customer.”

He realized there was a problem, pulled out a price sheet, pointed to it and said, “I’m judging you $50 for shortening thesuit.” Then I figured out that he was saying ‘charge’ and it sounded like judge with his accent.

So the entire reconfiguration of the tux came to about $450, which seemed a bit high. I told Bruno I wanted to consult myparents before going ahead with it, and he said that was a good idea, but then told me he would hold onto the tux. Heseemed confidant that it was a good deal and that I was going to take him up on his offer. I called my dad and he toldme that he didn’t even pay that much for the suit in the first place. So, I went back to Bruno and told him I was going towait on the alterations of the tux, and I was going to look for a cheaper option.

ot o peop e set t e r c oc s ast



ot o peop e set t e r c oc s ast ,keep my day calendar a few days ahead,hat way I feel like I’m really behind.

ACADEMIC



graduate

The following is an excerpt from a term paper written in 2009 for my Masters program at Eastern Michiganregarding the use of improvisation to convey a message.

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... Within the theme of community emerged a sub theme of innovation and discovery. When a community utilizesimprovisation, discoveries are made, similar to the usefulness of improvisation in TO, improvisation is now being usedby the business community to enhance productivity. For this project to continue, more research needs to be pursuedregarding business practices and improvisation. The usefulness of this research proves that improvisation skills arerealized and beneficial to a world of people who are not theater practitioners. Though I was unable to find research thatspecifically said that political activists should learn to improvise, the business world’s embracement of the techniques offer an introductory look into non-theater people using improv. Mary Crossan metaphorically compares business practice

to theater. “Unfortunately, many businesses allow customers about as much input as the audience of a play. Like manyplays, such businesses usually have a limited run” (Crossan 36). Crossan and colleagues studied with The Second Cityin order to learn what skills in improvisation they may adapt to address the business world. “We discovered that notonly does improvisation provide a way to understand what it takes to be spontaneous and innovative, but exercisesused by actors to develop their skill can be adopted by business as a means to experience and enhance individual andorganizational capacity to be innovative and responsive” (37). Jennifer Salopek, in a less academic article, providesan important element to this discussion indicating and citing numerous companies that are turning to improvisation toimprove their outcomes. The most prominent example is of Alan Rostain who opened Creative Advantage (CA) in 1993,a consultancy firm that works to provide business with training for innovation. “Clients include Kraft, Starbucks, GE,R.J. Reynolds, and Blockbuster, which hire CA to work on projects ranging from reducing costs in a product category totraining new managers in conducting difficult conversations” (Salopek 116). Patrick Marren argues, “Improvisation, inturn, is the essence of strategy. It’s creative reaction to a reality that you cannot control” (Marren 59 – 60). Marren wrotehis article in an editorial fashion, practically begging American businesses to adapt improvisation as part of their workroutine. He sites the automobile industry that failed to foresee the fall of cheap gas prices and instead invested heavily ininefficient clunkers. It is possible, Marren believes, that any number of auto executives may have foreseen the potentialdanger of their company’s investments, yet were too afraid to speak for fear of breaking the status quo. “Tolerance for a bit of goofiness is a necessary part of the process of developing truly groundbreaking strategy. Premature cutoff of thebrainstorming process, and shaming of those courageous or ill-bred enough to put forward goofy ideas, is the surest wayto assassinate the next generation of truly creative strategy” (60). These practitioners of business all relate in their desire

to see the world of entrepreneurship heighten its ability to accept ideas and react spontaneously. A business, as an entitymust work together to discover. In other words, a goal-oriented community must create in complete acceptance.

The Persuasive Tactic of Agreement: A Literature Review of the Performances of Improvisation,Comedy, and Politics and how these Topics Offer an Insight into the Ability to Influence



You don’t need a weatherman to knowhich way the wind blows, but he doe

help if you’re packing for a trip

JOURNALISM



detroitbigfdeal

I was commissioned by Detroit Big F Deal to write a press release explaining who they are and their new project.

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If you aren’t familiar with Detroit Big F Deal yet you are falling behind on the newest way to connect to and support grassrootsprojects that are reshaping the city of Detroit. Any person or group can launch a project at detroitbigfdeal.com, and the

website allows Internet surfers to instantly donate to the projects that excite them. It sounds like Kickstarter, the differenceis the local flare involved. Every time you donate on Detroitbigfdeal you receive rewards and coupons to local businesses.Depending on your contribution you could receive a $25 gift certificate to Cliff Bells, 10% off at the Raw Café, 50% off your second round of bowling at the Majestic, and that’s just to name a few. Not to mention these are all Detroit projects, sodonate and you will be able to drive around and actually see your money being put to use.

Block Mother is the newest project on Detroitbigfdeal’s website and the goal is to raise $3000 for Friends of SpauldingCourt, a community group in North Corktown trying to save a house in their neighborhood from foreclosure. The back storyis that 70 year old Ms. Angie Johnson, a neighborhood staple who kept her city block clean and safe, lost her job at thecasino 3 years ago due to the economic downturn. She has moved next door with her daughter, and is no longer able to

keep her house. The Friends of Spaulding Court realize that North Corktown cannot afford another vacant property, whichencourages crime and depreciates the value of their neighborhood. As a result, they have decided to fix up her house andget it ready to be rented out to a new tenant. The rent money will provide Ms. Johnson with the means to pay her mortgageand the restored house will give the neighborhood a new neighbor, further increasing the density of North Corktown.

To donate to the Block Mother effort or other projects that are rebuilding Detroit, visit detroitbigfdeal.com right now, make adonation, enjoy the rewards, and watch your city grow.



hen I go to a foreign country, people treat me likepretentious artist. They know I’m trying to speak

o them, but since they can’t understand me, theyust ignore me and hope I go away.

THEATER



SCRIPT

where wegonnago?

Where We Gonna Go? debuted in full on the main stage at Go Comedy! Improv Theatre for the 2011 holidayshow, Midlife Christmas, a show that I co-wrote and co-star.

GEORGEOk, but you don’t understand, I don’t want to miss when my Dadtakes a picture of us in front of all the unopened presents in our pajamas that my Mom gets us the year before.

BECCA You never wear pajamas.

GEORGEI do on Christmas Eve. If we spend Christmas at your house, Iwill never wear them. Ever. It would be a waste of my Land’s Endflannel plaids.

BECCA You could wear them other times of the year.

GEORGE

But you don’t understand, future generations will look back onthat picture and say, “Did George die that year?”

BECCA Or they’ll think you spent Christmas with your new wife, like anormal person. Plus, my house is fun, my Mom hides the rest of our presents, and there are clues on them that lead to the next person’sgift, so if I’m not there it will throw off then entire scavenge.

continued ...



SCRIPT

where wegonnago?

Where We Gonna Go? debuted in full on the main stage at Go Comedy! Improv Theatre for the 2011 holidayshow, Midlife Christmas, a show that I co-wrote and co-star.

GEORGE... She spells our names on them with ketchup, in calligraphy. And she’s always said that one-day, she’d be making an omeletfor me and a very lucky lady. That’s you.

BECCA But, my Mom’s a better cook than your Mom.

GEORGEIs not.

BECCA Is too. She makes an egg casserole and home made cinnamonbuns every Christmas. They are so good, the neighbors usually

try to invite themselves over for Christmas breakfast.

GEORGEWell, I don’t want to take a spot at the table away from your neighbors.

continued ...

GEORGEOk, but you don’t understand, your family is really bad at buyingpresents, and I really don’t want to have to worry about faking iton Christmas morning.

BECCA What have you faked likeing?

GEORGEI have a closet full of Chicago Bears merchandise.

BECCA You’re a football season ticket holder.

GEORGEFor the Lions!

BECCA Well at least they’re trying, you’re mom has gotten me the samecook book for my last three birthdays with hand written notes nextto dishes I’ve made that say, “try it this way next time.”

GEORGE

But you don’t understand, I really look forward to when my Mommakes omelets for us ...



SCRIPT

justiceleagueinmodernday

Justice League in Modern Day debuted in full at the 2010 Chicago Fringe Festival.

SCREEN SAYS OCTOBER 2008

TV NEWSIt appears that the housing bubble has burst, proof thatour economy is at an all time low. Millions of Americanswill be left homeless ...

Batman spits out his coffee.

BATMAN

Superman! Aquaman! We have to move fast. A super villain is at work destroying America.

SUPERMANTO THE MAPS!

BATMAN A bubble is surrounding the entire nation causing everyoneto become homeless!

SUPERMANWHY DO WE HAVE SO MANY MAPS?!?

continued ...



SCRIPT

justiceleagueinmodernday

Justice League in Modern Day debuted in full at the 2010 Chicago Fringe Festival.

SUPERMANFinally, you’re powers come to good use! A liquid, evil,housing bubble!

AQUAMANIt’s not a real bubble. It’s a metaphor. You’re being confused

by the words.

BATMAN

Sounds like a Riddle if you ask me.

SUPERMANThe Riddler!

AQUAMAN

No, not a riddle,a metaphor! It’s like, something that hastwo different meanings, two sides ...

BATMANTwo-Face!

AQUAMANOk, you guys need to chill out -

SUPERMAN and BATMANMr. Freeze!!

continued ...

AQUAMANWait ... the housing bubble? Guys, why were you watchingNancy Grace?

BATMAN Aquaman! This bubble may have been made of some sort

of aqua, possibly mixed with soap, as bubbles often are,so we may need your help in the clean up and maintainingthe safety of the civilians.

AQUAMANOk ... first of all, I’m offended that you would just ASSUME -

SUPERMANPerfect! Now sit on my back and we’ll fly!

BATMAN sits on his back. AQUAMANYour wasting your time.

BATMANCome on, Aquaman!

AQUAMAN You guys don’t understand, there is no one villain we can go

after. Everyone in the entire country is to blame for spendingmoney they didn’t have. This is a liquidity crisis.

I ee a or Spam, t ey were ust a ar wor n



I ee a or Spam , t ey were ust a ar wor nmeat replacement company until their good nam

was tarnished by annoying email geeks

MUSIC



funny money

I also write original music and can play the guitar and piano. The following song can be found in full atyoutube.com/tommybsimon.

I wanted change before it was in stylePluto is still a planet, I am living in denialI was really good at Mario threeI wish that I could play professionally

At summer camp I was called the foosball kingBut being good at foosball is a useless thingIt doesn’t matter how much the people praised meOh funny how the money drives me crazy

I went to buy my condoms thinBut I bought a lotto ticket just in case I winI can’t help it but be loved by the ladiesBack in high school no one asked me to Sadie’sIf I were rich I’d live a charitable lifeI’d make really happy trophy wife,But, he loves me not I plucked in the daisyFunny how the money drives me crazy

Oh I once thought I’d be a mafia boss; Their loss

Something about me just ain’t big and scary; I’m hairyMy lack of power is not from being lazy,Oh funny how the money drives me crazy

Christian rock should be an outlawed scandalWorking everyday is a lot for me to handleSome people say you need intelligence to ruleKeep in mind the king called his comedian a foolI want to make people listen with the power of thunder but i wouldn’t mind being a one hit wonder

If only I could dance just like Patrick SwayzeFunny how the money drives me crazy



thank a

tommy simon

Please contact me at [email protected] or by phone at (313) 378-8897.

Tommy Simon Portfolio

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