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TODAY’S

PARENTFebruary 2015

Cour er i

l remont

claremont-courier.com

Tiny warriors learn the art of judoPAGE 16

Studio Claremont molds young artistic talentPAGE 6

Children’s show makes a splashPAGE 10

Be sure to see our special slideshows at claremont-courier.com

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TODAY’S PARENT/2015 3

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Flappers Comedy kid fun by Angela BaileyTwo Milk Minimum children’s show makes a splash.

My side of the line by Peter WeinbergerNo matter what age, they are always kids.

Creative kids by Angela BaileyStudio Claremont helps mold children’s artistic talent.

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Myth or reality? by Dr. Bob ConnollyManaging social anxiety in young adults.

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Tiny warriors by Sarah TorribioKids learn the art and philosophy of judo.

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Things to doYouth community classes and activities.

Today’s Parent 2015

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They say your kids grow upquickly. They say the time willfly by. They say as a teen, she

will lose her mind. They say he will dostupid things. You know what? Theywere right.

I am the father of two adult children. My son Mattis 24 and discovering life as a working stiff inBlacksburg, Virginia. My daughter Collette is a jun-ior at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill.And I’m proud to say I still refer to them as “thekids.” Even though they grow up, they never reallygrow up to this parent. My wife Betsy and I consider ourselves lucky they both are managing life so well.

It makes me think back to my 20s, when lifeseemed simpler. But, then again, there were nocomputers or Internet. I was told long ago that my

greatest legacy in life would be my kids. That isnot only true, it’s something I can easily live with.

For those of you with young children, I can promise that as a parent, you will always think of your kids as kids, no matter what age. The worry-

ing never stops, the need for money is continu-ous—I own a “Bank of Dad” T-shirt—and the con-nection to family will change, but remain strong.

No matter what age,they are always kids

COURIER photo/Matthew WeinbergerBetsy, Matthew, Collette and Peter Weinberger pose for a silly photo on a recent family vacation to YosemiteNational Park.

MY SIDE OF THE LINEcontinues on the next page

by Peter Weinberger

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Some parents have favorite ages of their chil-dren. Although not many highlight those teenageyears, adulthood means they eventually leaveyour house. That time is filled with emotionsranging from great joy to sadness. It definitelyleaves a parent with a new sense of freedom.

Now I spend my free time planning my next visitto see the kids.

When they were young, I thought our kids listenedmore. We were clear authority figures. Then theystarted school and listening became an option.

By their teen years, I tried to resist the urge tosend them to the doctor for a hearing check. Of course they were fine, but the doctor did explainwhat happens to the teenage brain during thosegrowth years. I asked if medication would help.He said I was fine.

Since my son Matt played sports, I enjoyed along period of meeting other parents, going toevents and even coaching games. I was very proudof how well my son played baseball. Just like dad.All that time we put in practicing really paid off.Then Matt turned 12 and decided he liked golf instead. His baseball gear is still collecting dust inour garage. The good news is he still plays golf.Whatever makes him happy.

After Matt graduated with a business degree

from Virginia Tech, Betsy was helping him landthat first accounting or corporate-type job. Matthas the perfect mentality for the business side.

Then, out of nowhere, he gets interested in shoot-ing video/photography and in computers and tech-nology. I’m thinking, “Where did he get thatfrom?” Hint: it wasn’t from his mother.

Needless to say, I still get those special looksfrom my wife when Matt talks about those must-have gadgets. Just for the record, small drones for

personal use do have a purpose.Collette was always the creative type…just like

dad! Always interested in photography, it was a joy working through those dry sweats after loan-ing her my expensive camera for school.

Ever the socialite, we would worry she wasn’tfocused enough on school. So much to talk aboutand not enough time. Then she went to collegeand realized good things happen with hard work.Collette started eating healthy and lectured us onour food intake. When she began telling me moreand more what to do, I couldn’t help but think…

just like mom!Even as adults we all still enjoy going on family

vacations, we still get up early on Christmasmorning, still talk about friends and school, actual-ly eat more meals together and always still jokearound and act like kids—something my mother

passed on to me. The more kids change, the morethey stay the same. In our eyes at least. Go figure.


City offers defense program

T

hey say the best offense is a

good defense. With this in mind,the city of Claremont is offeringa trio of workshops aimed at helpingyoungsters fend off verbal or physicalattacks.

On Saturday, March 7 from 1 to 2:30 p.m., aBully Proof workshop for kids ages 6 to 14 will beheld at Sekai Black Belt Academy, located at 859W. Foothill Blvd. in Claremont. The fee is $10.Registration is required two days before the startdate of class.

A Kid Safe! Workshop will be held on Saturday,March 28 from noon to 2 p.m. at the Alexander Hughes Center, 1700 Danbury Rd. in Claremont.The seminar will show children and parents, in a

non-threatening way and through “what if?” scenar-ios, how to identify and respond to dangerous situ-ations. The cost to participate is $15.

And on April 18 from noon to 2 p.m., girls ages12 and older as well as adult women can take aFight Like a Girl! Women’s Self Defense class. Thefee for this class, which is also held at the HughesCenter, is $25.

For information on these self-defense classes, pick up a catalogue at the Hughes Center. For infor-mation or to register, call (909) 399-5490 or visitci.claremont.ca.us.

MY SIDE OF THE LINEcontinued from the previous page

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Does your child come home fromschool with macaroni master- pieces? Is he or she the next

Picasso of pipe cleaners? Nurturing your child’s budding talent builds more

than just their artist’s portfolio.Early art experiences teach children to think openly,

create new meaning and be more tolerant of others’differences and gives them the courage to take risks.By encouraging art appreciation when your child isyoung, you’re making the most out of those cruciallearning years.

“Coloring with crayons, playing with Legos, beadingwith pony beads or playing with pipe cleaners is sogood, it builds up their hands,” says Gabrielle Heide,

owner of Studio Claremont. “For little ones, painting inthe bathtub is awesome. If you don’t want the mess inyour house, chalk outside is good…Let them dip thechalk in water, so fun! Anything where they can get thetwo hands working together.”

For the past eight years, Ms. Heide and her staff of teachers have worked hard to ensure students of allages receive high quality art instruction in their Packing House studio. With school focus to core inthe US shifting subjects like reading and math, arteducation is often the first to go, despite the fact thatmany of the motions involved in making art are cru-cial building blocks of child development.

“I’ve been teaching for 28 years and what I’venoticed in that time is that the kids’ fine motor skillshave changed a lot,” she says. “Starting from a youngage, it is really important to work with kids on devel-oping their fine motor skills.”

According to the National Institutes of Health, devel-opmental milestones around age three should includedrawing a circle and beginning to use safety scissors.Around age four, children may be able to draw a squareand begin cutting straight lines with scissors.

“Drawing, painting, clay, paper mâché…they do itall,” Ms. Heide says of her Studio Claremont students.“Each piece of art we do is completed in about threeclasses, not one class.”

With students as young as 4-years-old, StudioClaremont offers classes both for the beginning studentand those who want to further develop their passion.Each 90-minute class meets once a week with roughly10 to 12 students per class.

The Little Artists class for ages 4 to 6 is extremely

popular and only available on Saturday. This early artclass reinforces kindergarten and first grade concepts,where students enjoy learning about the elements of design with a variety of media including painting,drawing and clay.

Elementary Art students, ages 6 and up, explorevarious media, including drawing, pastels, painting,and three-dimensional sculpture. Not only will theylearn about the elements of design but also a bit aboutart history.

Art for Tweens and Teens classes are also offered

STUDIO CLAREMONTcontinues on page 9

Studio Claremont encourages kids’ creative side

COURIER photos/Steven FelschundneffStudio Claremont in the Packing House offers a variety of classes to help inspire your little budding artist.

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Studio Claremont owner Gabrielle Heide and student Rafael Diaz clean up after an art lesson at the Claremont Packing House recently. The students had been working onpaintings of Parisian houses to go with an upcoming show.

Eleven-year-old Dyson Lewis works on his painting ofa classic Parisian street scene recently during an ele-mentary art class at Studio Claremont.

LEFT: Hunter Amador and Milla Sanchez share a laughas they create paintings during an elementary art classat Studio Claremont in the Claremont Packing House. Astudent show titled “Pooches in Paris” will be on dis-play at studio beginning February 28 from 5 to 6:30 p.m.

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The display window at Studio Claremont has been transformed into a diorama for the “Pooches in Paris” exhibit coming up on February 28.

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throughout the week. Students age 11 and up work on pastel drawing, watercolor and acrylic paintings as

well as a variety of sculpture projects.For the high school student looking for a new chal-

lenge, the community art studio also offers advanceddrawing and painting. Students age 14 and up aregiven drawing and painting lessons that require criti-cal thinking and problem-solving skills.

Classes are available Tuesday through Saturday ata rate of $115 per four-week session plus a one-time$20 per-student registration fee for new students. The

programs are continuous, with no repeats. Tuitionincludes all supplies (non-toxic and lead-free) as wellas a snack.

“We have many students with dietary restrictionsand we work around them,” says Ms. Heide.

Three times a year, Studio Claremont also hosts anart show, providing an opportunity for their students

to celebrate and showcase their artwork with thecommunity. The latest installation is inspired by theImpressionists and entitled, “Pooches in Paris.” It’sscheduled to open Saturday, February 28.

“We talked about Monet, in particular. As you see,those are all mixed-media with watercolors, chalk

pastel and oil pastel on top,” Ms. Heide says of thelandscape art hanging throughout the studio in prepa-ration for the show. “We talked about horizon lineand sky, color and layers and we just wanted to keepit simple…we wanted the colors to do the talking. Wehave the 4-year-olds up there with the 12-year-oldsand I don’t think you can tell who is who!”

Although the students at Studio Claremont arelearning the elements of design and art history, thekids are taking away so much more from their artexperience.

“It teaches them so many things: responsibility bycleaning up their mess and self-esteem, knowing theycan do it. It’s all those things that make great little

people,” Ms. Heide says. “We’re not expecting them

to come out as Rembrandts or Monets.”Parents, too, can get in on the action at Studio

Claremont.On the first and third Friday each month, mom and

dad can sign up for a two-hour Friday Night AdultWorkshop. For $40 in studio and $30 online, datenight can be spent painting and enjoying some qual-ity time away from the kiddos.

“It’s BYOB and BYOsnacks,” says Ms. Heide.“The adults really seem to enjoy it!”

Studio Claremont is located in the historic PackingHouse in Village West at 522 W. First St.,Claremont. For more information, visit their websiteat studioclaremont.com or call (909) 626-6137.

—Angela Bailey

[email protected]

STUDIO CLAREMONTcontinued from page 6

There are several classes buddingartists being offered by the cityof Claremont this spring.

These include three “Young Rembrandts”courses, the first of which is aimed at childrenages 3 ½ to 5. As the little ones draw and color,they learn skills like following directions andstaying on task. The Young RembrandtsPreschool Drawing class meets Wednesdays, 10to 10:45 a.m.

Kids ages 6 to 12 will enjoy Young RembrandtsBasic Elementary Drawing, diving into genreslike landscape and still life and learning art histo-ry. The curriculum meets the California state stan-dards for visual arts. This class meets Wednesdaysfrom 4 to 4:45 p.m.

Do you like to draw and laugh? Then YoungRembrandts Cartoon Drawing, also for kids age 6to 12, is the class for you. Learn how to illustrate

people, objects and all kinds of critters in hilarioussituations. Get ready to get silly! The class meetsWednesdays from 5 to 5:45 p.m.

Each of these courses is a four-class session run-ning from April 15 to May 6 and costs $50. Youcan register up until one day prior to the start of theclass. For more information, pick up a catalogue atthe Hughes Center, 1700 Danbury Rd. inClaremont. For information or to register, call(909) 399-5490 or visit ci.claremont.ca.us.

Got an ARTSY KID?

COURIER photos/Steven FelschundneffStudio Claremont owner Gabrielle Heide shows her ele-mentary art class how to embellish their paintings ofParisian houses recently at the Claremont Packing House.

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TODAY’S PARENT/2015 10/11

“Why is six afraid of seven? Becauseseven eight nine!” Does your kidspend more time with his joke

books than his math books? Then you may verywell have a burgeoning comedian on your hands. If you think your child may be the next Jimmy Fallonor Tina Fey, Flappers Comedy Club in Claremontis just the place to nourish your kid’s comedic spiritand unleash their inner class clown without landingthem in the principal’s office.

On Sundays, the club offers “Two Milk Minimum,” a family-friendly comedy show that’s bound to leave both children andadults buckled over with laughter. The one-hour set features arotation of outlandish comedic magicians, jugglers, musicians,improv artists, puppeteers and novelty acts, including residentemcee and host Michael Rayner.

“Having slapstick involved and improvisational elements to it,this show is much more than stand-up,” he says. “I’ve had kids upto 15 years old who are enjoying it just as much as the 4-year-olds!”

Two Milk Minimum makes a splash

FLAPPERS COMEDY CLUBcontinues on page 13

COURIER photos/Steven FelschundneffComedian Michael Rayner juggles a bowling ball, hatchet and aPillsbury doughboy during the weekly Two Milk Minimum show for chil-dren at Flappers Comedy Club in Claremont. Mr. Rayner’s act involveda lot of sight gags, audience participation and improvisation.

LEFT: Thomas Clark and Nicole Stevens enjoy kid-friendly comedy withtheir children Emma Bothman, 6, and Evan Bothman, 4.

RIGHT: Four-year-old Evan Bothman provides a little percussion asMr. Rayner demonstrates how to roll a hamburger on an umbrella.

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A self-proclaimed post-modern vaudevillian, Mr.

Rayner’s show is a combination of tricks, stunts, stand-up, improvisation and zingers that he’s perfected over the past 20 years. He’s performed at The Magic Castlein Hollywood and also appeared on Sesame Street andnumerous Nickelodeon shows.

For Mr. Rayner, there’s very little difference betweenhis adult show and the one he puts on for the kids.

“I treat the kids like I treat the adults. I’ll go at them,”he says. “All kids want to be the center of attention andsometimes you’ll get the kid that tries to hijack theshow, just like you’ll get hecklers at an adult show.”

The February headliner stood before an audience of 60kids and their parents and performed a series of stunts

and balancing acts that left the audience in stitches(although a few of the antics had the patrons worried the

performer would be leaving in stitches). In addition tospinning a McDonalds cheeseburger on a paper umbrel-

la—a trick that garnered him a past appearance on TheLate Show with Letterman —Mr. Rayner juggled a bowling ball, hatchet and a rubber Pillsbury Doughboywhile cracking jokes, without missing a catch or a beat.

But another of his signature tricks seemed to have oldand young on the edge of their seats.

“I’m going to balance this wheelbarrow on my face.But to make it more exciting, I’m going to balance itover that family right there,” he proclaimed, pointing toThomas Clark, Nicole Stephens and their three childrenKathryn, 13, Emma, 6, and 4-year-old Evan, who weresitting in the front row. The family has been coming toFlappers for the past four years and they believe there’s

no better way to spend a Sunday evening than laughingwith loved ones.

“The show is at a kid level, but adults enjoy it, too,”Mr. Clark said. “It’s great, cost-effective entertainment

that we can enjoy together as a family. You really can’t beat it!”For parents with a child interested in going down

the comedy road, exposure to live comedy can be agreat experience. In addition to Two Milk Minimum, Flappers Comedy Club also offersimprovisation and stand-up comedy classes for kidsand teens as well as private coaching. All classes aretaught by working industry professionals and aregreat for building self-esteem and confidence. For more information about upcoming classes, [email protected].

“Having a showbiz career is silly at this age,” saysMr. Rayner. “I’ve seen a lot of parents pushing their kids into it to make a living. As long as the kids are hav-ing fun with it I say, ‘Go for it!’”

Two Milk Minimum is presented at Flappers

Comedy Club in Claremont every Sunday eveningstarting at 4:30 p.m. with doors opening one hour prior to show time. Tickets are $10 for anyone 2-years-oldand over. There is a two item minimum during theshow and free parking is available both on First Streetand in the garage just outside the Packing House.

—Angela Bailey

[email protected]


FLAPPERS COMEDY CLUBcontinued from page 11

Youth Activity Center to

host bash for local teens

The first day of summer isn’t until

June 21, but local teens don’thave to wait that long to get a

taste of warm-weather fun.Claremont’s Youth Activity Center (YAC) is host-

ing the 2015 Summer Bash on Friday, May 1. The

event, which runs from 4 to 9 p.m. and is free to

attend, is chock-full of youth-friendly diversions.

Attendees will be treated to a skate demo and

skate competition, DJ, bounce houses, obstacle

course, rock-climbing wall, carnival games, dunk

tank and yummy food. A dance will be held at

Taylor Hall from 7 to 9 p.m.

Both the YAC and Taylor Hall are located at

Cahuilla Park, north of the high school at 1717 N.

Indian Hill Blvd.

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How many of you recall the days prior to the Internet? Those of uswho attended Pitzer College in the

early 1990s transitioned from card catalogsto web searches, writing letters to writingemails. It’s now unfathomable that a studentat the Claremont Colleges could functionwithout a personal computer.

These days, young adults are adept at accessing and processing large amounts of information, oftenthrough social media on various devices and plat-forms. Almost all aspects of their lives have some con-nection to virtual communication, and Googling justabout any word—even one syllable—can bring infor-mation in mass amount.

It’s amazing, however, that with all the information

at their fingertips, college-aged young adults areincreasingly faced with one of their biggest, most over-whelming fears: facing each other. Social anxiety has become a debilitating condition for many young people as they begin to grow into their ideas of who theyare and what they want to be. Speaking in class, goingto parties, deciding where to sit in the dining hall, thedreaded oral presentation—many students activelyavoid these situations to fend off the intense feelingsthat come with social anxiety. Opportunities can beforgone, potential career aspirations muted and self-esteem shattered in light of a condition that is entirelymisunderstood and often untreated.

So many myths exist about social anxiety, whichmakes those with the condition suffer needlessly.Social anxiety is not simply a “shyness” problem. It’snot a “confidence” problem. It’s not a “maturity” prob-

lem. Social anxiety, or social phobia, is a disorder rec-

ognized by the American Psychological Association. A person with the disorder fears being closely watched, judged or criticized by others. The individual can befearful of countless social situations, including drink-ing or eating in front of others, being the central focusof a situation or going to parties. Symptoms can bequite severe, including tightness in the chest, poundingheart, muscle tension, indigestion, diarrhea, intense body shaking, sweating, crying and even becomingdizzy, disoriented and confused.

The mental process of social anxiety involuntarilycompounds the individual’s distress. For example, class participation becomes a life-or-death decision. The stu-dent’s self-dialogue may go likes this, “If I don’t speak up, everyone will think I’m stupid. But what if I do speak

up and I say something stupid? Then everyone will know

I am incapable of communicating. And if I can’t commu-

nicate in class, I will be a disappointment to everyoneand I will have to leave school. I will never accomplishmy goals, which means I will become homeless andlive on the streets.”

This thought process may seem irrational to an out-sider. But the intensity of the symptoms that partner these irrational thoughts make them more convincing.If it could only be so easy as to tell someone, “Don’tworry so much” or “You’re just shy” or “Just pushthrough it.” Unfortunately, saying these things oftenmake the anxiety worse. Young adults plagued bythese ruminations want nothing more than to stopthem. If they could simply do that, they would.

If social anxiety isn’t cured by “getting over it” or “growing up,” then what can parents do to help their kids manage social anxiety? Here’s a short list for aneffective action plan.

1. Empathize with the symptoms (acknowledgingthe experience)

Speaking up in class should not be life-or-death, butthe emotional turmoil that accompanies social anxietyis a terrible feeling. You can empathize with your childabout the experience. “It must be a terrible feeling toworry about that.” “Sorry you are going through that.”Statements like these focus on the emotional experi-ence of social anxiety, rather than the importance of what is being worried about.

2. Set small goals to minimize anxietySocial anxiety can be minimized by setting small but

consistent goals that help you confront the anxietywithout being overwhelmed by the process. Fearful of going to the dining hall? Start by going once a day.

The myth and reality of social anxiety among young adults

SOCIAL ANXIETY

continues on the next page

COURIER photo/Steven FelschundneffDr. Bob Connolly, far right, founder and executive directorof Connolly Counseling and Assessment, Abigail Daum,Scripps College sophomore and treasurer with theStudent Mental Health Alliance at the Claremont Colleges;

Jose Mendoza, program director of the Gooden Center, adrug and alcohol treatment center located in Pasadena.

by Bob Connolly

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Commit to one group activity once a week. Speak upin class once per session.

3. Praise accomplishmentIt’s a huge deal for some students just to get to class.

Nausea, sweating, shortness of breath....all contributeto making the simple so complex. Be supportive of your child facing his or her fears. Confronting emo-tional distress is never easy.

4. Track the irrational thinking and say the irra-tional out loud

Give your child the opportunity to “speak through”the anxiety. Play the “What if?” game until the irra-tional conclusion is reached.

5. Emphasize choice in social situationsResignment is the natural companion to social anxi-

ety. Young adults with social anxiety often say, “I can’tdo it” or “It’s just too hard.” Remember that social iso-lation is a choice and not a destiny.

6. Be patient

It’s hard to resist the impulse to tell a young personto “just get over it,” but resist. Again, if it were just thateasy your child would make that choice.

7. Seek professional helpSocial anxiety is very treatable condition and a men-

tal health professional, often using cognitive behav-ioral techniques, can be very effective.

Abigail Daum, a Scripps College sophomore andtreasurer with the Student Mental Health Alliance atthe Claremont Colleges, remembers struggling withsocial anxiety.

“For parents, my advice would be to not force their child into uncomfortable situations,” Ms. Daum said.“My parents would become frustrated when theyasked me to talk to people I had never met before or when I would get nervous ordering food at a restau-rant. I would advise parents to be flexible and under-standing of their child’s feelings in social situations.

The key element is communication; ask questionsabout how they are feeling. My parents helped whenthey provided support and showed confidence in myabilities. It helps when they remind me that I am capa- ble of managing my anxiety.”

Jose Mendoza, program director of the GoodenCenter, a drug and alcohol treatment center located inPasadena, is opening a satellite outpatient office inClaremont.

“In college, students deal with a unique set of stres-sors,” Mr. Mendoza said. “College calls for a signifi-cant transition, where students experience many firstsincluding a new lifestyle, friends, roommates andexposure to new cultures and social values. When stu-dents can’t manage these firsts, they’re more likely tostruggle to fit in.”

When students don’t feel adequately prepared tocope with the new environment of a college campus,they are susceptible to depression and anxiety, Mr.Mendoza noted.

“We see students head off to college and the familiar people are no longer there to reinforce the identitythese students have created for themselves,” he said.“This can make students feel disoriented and feel a lossof their sense of self. A shaky identity and lack of con-fidence often leads college students to make poor choices about drinking and drugs.”

Feeling disjointed can result in any number of chal-lenges for a young adult, Mr. Mendoza explained.

“This is the paralyzing effect that social anxiety canhave on a student who is sober and trying to maintainan active social life in college,” he said. “Self-talk ques-tions arise like, ‘What will I say if someone offers me a beer or a hit off a joint?’ or ‘Will everyone assume I’mnot any fun because I don’t drink?’ It is this experiencethat keeps many students from seeking help. Theanswer to these questions is support and practice.”

Those with social anxiety don’t have to resign them-

selves to avoidance and limitations. Identifying the con-dition is the first step. A wealth of information exists on

the Internet, including at the National Institute of MentalHealth website: www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/social- phobia-social-anxiety-disorder. Young adults in collegehave many opportunities to participate in groups, outingsor causes. The most important group for a socially anx-

ious person to join is one that is actually fun and notanother task.

Volunteering time to others in need can also helpminimize anxiety. Discussing one’s social anxietyamong peers and staff or administrators whoempathize is also helpful for to the socially anxious.Celebrating small victories with friends and lovedones—going to a group activity, talking with a friend, being less self critical, completing an oral presenta-tion—all greatly matter in the struggle to become moresocially comfortable.

Often, social anxiety goes unknown to the personexperiencing turmoil, as sufferers often attribute their struggles to just being nervous or having to “grow up.”Thankfully, social anxiety is a very treatable condition.Significant relief, even in the first few sessions, can beachieved with a psychologist trained and experiencedin treating social anxiety. Students who seek therapy,and find a therapist that they feel comfortable talkingto, can greatly minimize their symptoms and move for-ward in their lives facing their fears rather than avoid-ing them. The psychologist can assist with goal-set-ting, emotional support, encouragement and empathy.

Ironically, face-to-face assistance is what the sociallyanxious person needs most. For young adults, dealingwith social anxiety at this point in their lives has greatimplications for their futures. Their lives can be lessfilled with fear, more full of hope and with much moreto look forward to.[Dr. Bob Connolly, a Claremont native, is founder and executive director of Connolly Counseling and Assessment, a group private practice offering therapyand assessment services with seven locations in southern

California, including Claremont. He is a graduate of Pitzer College and the Claremont School of Theology.]

SOCIAL ANXIETYcontinued from the previous page

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To his youngest students, TonyFarah is a gentle giant. So it’sappropriate that the martial art

the Sinsei is teaching them, judo,translates in Japanese to the phrase“gentle way.”

He is the founder of Goltz Judo’s Tiny Tots class-es, which are taught through the city of Claremont atthe Hughes Community Center. It is one of the only

programs in the country to teach the discipline— which involves tumbling, falling, throwing and grap- pling—to children so young a few have only recent-ly graduated from diapers.

It takes a certain skill to preside over dozens of active 3- to 7-year-olds. “I call it herding cats,” Mr.Farah said. “They’re all over the place.”

The trick is to direct all of that energy.“You’ve got to keep them busy in this class,” he

explained. “I can’t have them sitting down while Ilecture them for 15 minutes. Otherwise, I’ll lose

their attention and they’ll be rolling all over thefloor, bouncing off the walls.”

Sinsei Tony throws in new exercises from time totime, to keep the kids on their toes and expand their skillset. Much of the time, however, he repeats thesame exercises so students and their parents can seeweek-to-week improvement.

“A lot of times, a kid will be excited to come to judo because he wants to show me a somersault hecouldn’t do before,” he said.

Exercise is an arid term to describe the practicethat in Mr. Farah’s hands turns into play. He sawother judo teachers lead youngsters in a duck walk, astandard exercise to help build their core, and riffedon the idea.

“I started adding some funny animals the kidsmight like. We do the alligator walk, where the kidsuse their arms to walk, and drag their feet behind them.

Tiny warriors learn art, philosophy of judo

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COURIER photos/Steven FelschundneffTony and Ashton Farah supervise as students in the Tiny Tots Judo class run laps around the mat in preparation for their class at the Hughes Community Center.

Three-year-olds Donna Forman and Harlen Turrentinespar during a Tiny Tots Judo class recently at theHughes Community Center in Claremont. The class isfor students age 3 to 7 and works on fitness as well asself-defense.

Seven-year-olds Drew Shoji and Glenn Forman spar during the Tiny Tots Judo class.

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It builds upper body strength,” he

said. “We do the frog leap, the rabbithop—things that make it more funfor the kids and help to strengthensome part of the body. I call it a tripto the zoo.”

While Mr. Farah istending to hismenagerie of kids,

he has the help of an assis-tant, most often his daughter Ashton. For the Farahs, judois a family affair. It startedwith his son, Matthew, who

at age 14 was struggling tofind his athletic niche.

“We tried basketball and soccer, buthe didn’t like team sports. He wantedto do something individual, where hecould take responsibility for the goodand the bad. And frankly, he didn’tlike the way the parents acted at someof these events—how crazy they go,”Mr. Farah recalled.

Eventually he gave judo a try. Itwas “love at first fight,” and not justfor Matthew. Ashton, who was 12,walked into her brother’s class andinstantly caught the fever. “Shecouldn’t wait for the next day to signherself up.”

Before long, Mr. Farah was itching to join his children in their new pursuit.

“I always kind of wrestled with myson. As he got better at judo, he starteddoing moves on me,” he said. “Ithought, I’d better do something or Iwon’t be able to keep up with him.”

Mr. Farah, who was 40 when he firstdonned a judo gi a dozen years ago,had always dreamed of earning a black belt in martial arts.

“I was doing judo on the mat withmy kids, we were working out andlearning together,” he said. “So Iwas able to take care of my dreams

and, at the same time, spend timewith my family.”

Once Sinsei Tony, now a third-degree black belt, became proficient,he began to pass his skills along, firstassisting with classes and then teach-ing his own.

Once, Goltz Judo didn’t teach any

children younger than 6. Many clubsdon’t let kids try their hand at judo untilthey are at least 8. Every once in awhile, though, Mr. Farah would see a5-year-old competing at a tournament.It got him thinking.

“Everyone said kids can’t start judotoo early because it is too technical, too physically demanding and you can’tget the kids to focus,” he said. “But Iwas sure that with the right program,you can teach the little kids the samethings the older kids are learning.”

Five years ago, Mr. Farahapproached Goltz Judo founder GaryGoltz, a 7th-degree black belt who has been practicing judo for 50 years, withhis idea for a Tiny Tots class aimed at

4- and 5-year-olds. Mr. Goltz gave his blessing and the program was animmediate success.

“The class morphed real fast toinclude kids who are 3, 4, 5 and 6. Our only requirement we have is thatthey’re housebroken,” Mr. Goltz joked.

One adaptations had to be made for

the Tiny Tot class. It used to be thattriple zero was the smallest size gi youcould find in the country.

“The problem is they were drapingover the kids,” Mr. Goltz said. “So wehad to have my distributor order asmaller size of gi and have them man-ufactured overseas. Three months later a batch of quadruple zeros came over from Pakistan. Since then, we’ve gonethrough a carload.”

The Tiny Tot program is now anintrinsic part of Goltz Judo, one of thelargest clubs in the US JudoAssociation. Mr. Goltz never ceases tomarvel at the magic worked by Mr.Farah. “It’s amazing. He’s got patiencelike I’ve never seen in anyone,” he said.

Mr. Farah is easygoing by nature, but he also makes a conscious effort toget his students to listen without rais-ing his voice.

“Unfortunately, other people try touse yelling and screaming, but Idon’t believe in that. You can talk tothem at a reasonable level. They

understand,” Mr. Farah said. “If you put down your expectations at the beginning and emphasize it everyweek, the kids will follow.”

It’s important not to take yourself tooseriously when dealing with pint-sizedstudents, Mr. Farah added.

“We’re not trying to build judo play-ers yet, we’re getting them to love thesport,” he said. “Sometimes you try toget mad at them and they smile andyou’re like, ‘Okay, let’s move on.’”

The Tiny Tots are an especiallykinetic group. At the start of the class,Sinsei Tony tosses out an array of col-orful rubber balls that the kids cankick around to blow off steam.Occasionally, he gently reprimands

kids for chatting or fidgeting. Butdespite the senses of controlled chaos,there is something profound going on.

“What I like abut judo is that it hasreally good life principals that you can

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Tyler Charpentier, 5, takes on 7th-degree black belt Gary Goltz during a Tiny Tots Judo class at the Hughes Community Center.The class is unique in accepting students as young as 3.

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COURIER photo/Steven FelschundneffInstructor Tony Farah introduces a special self-defensedemonstration recently during the Tiny Tots Judo Class atthe Hughes Center. Mr. Farah’s son Matt Farah and GoltzJudo founder Gary Goltz illustrated how judo could be usedto fend off an attacker.

use, not just on the mat but in everyday life,” he said,noting that the first of these is that of mutual welfareand benefit.

“Everybody moves forward together. As you getmore advanced, you help other people become moreadvanced,” he said. “We should always be doing stuff like that in the real world, giving back to our commu-nity and our society.”

All Goltz Judo instructors have day jobs. Mr.Farah, for instance, is an IT manager for MercuryInsurance, while Mr. Goltz is an executive in thehealth care industry.

“As instructors, we’re not looking for money,” Mr.Farah said.

Mr. Farah feels it is important to pass on the physi-

cal lessons of judo as well as the philosophical ones.“In judo, you always have a partner with you. You’reused to having someone grabbing on you and pullingon you. So if something ever happens on the street,you’re not intimidated because you do that three timesa week.”

In honor of Goltz Judo’s 25th anniversary, the city of Claremont has invested in new tatami mats for the judoclasses. Like their predecessors, which were plumbworn out, they will see a lot of action. But it is likelythe mats will last quite a while because the kids aretaught, from the start, that the tatami is are “sacredground.” You never walk on them without shoes and, atthe end of each lesson, you bow your way off the mat.

Likewise, Mr. Farah’s passion for teaching judo tothe littlest of local warriors is likely to last for quitesome time.

“You have to be patient. You have to really love thekids,” he said. “And I love these kids like they’re myown. It’s always been like that.”

Tiny Tot judo classes are held on Thursday andFriday evenings, with a new session beginning onMarch 5. You can pick up a catalogue at the Alexander Hughes Community Center, 1700 Danbury Rd. inClaremont. For information or to register, call (909)399-5490 or visit ci.claremont.ca.us or goltzjudo.com.

—Sarah Torribio

[email protected]

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