THE AUTUMN OF BOOKSTNB Newsletter

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Autumn is one of my most favorite seasons. The comforting foods, warm drinks, bundled in a blanket with my favorite book, for the moment, in hand. That is the Autumn of Books. Welcome to TNB Magazine’s Newsletter.

Promises to Autumn—My Promise to AutumnBy: Bethanie Armstrong

How do you make a promise to a season? You wake up early on an autumn morning, bring your coffee, find your thinking spot, and observe. The trees are girded with their most beautiful formal dress, some yellow, some red, some orange, some purple. You promise to appreciate what they are allowing you to see—their most vulnerable time. They like to remember their finest hour, take your camera, your sketchbook and colored pencils and make sure they can. Promise to capture their beauty before their long winter’s nap. Bring your children to their mountains so they can see one of God’s most perfect times of the year. The trees love to hear children’s laughter. It gives them things to have sweet dreams with before they sleep. They give their leaves to them. Promise to pile them up and let your children jump in. After all that’s why they drop their leaves, as most of us know.Take your journal one day and sit in the comfortable temperatures of autumn. Promise to emblazon them in words, dated and saved. One day you can look back, read and remember that perfect day and your promises to autumn.

~Bethanie

My Promise for FallBy Jamie Alluisi

There are many times in our lives where we make promises to ourselves, to not do a certain activity again, avoid heartache, or even to try harder next time. Frequently when we make these type of promises we are fresh from experiencing the emotional upheaval of whichever event or situation prompted us to make the promise. The promises we make to ourselves during the changing of seasons, or at other times are different than the impromptu ones. Promises that are not sudden allow us to truly reflect on our lives, who we believe we are, where we see ourselves going, and what dreams we desperately want to achieve. So this is my promise, as I look out my window on this rainy day and admire the slowly changing leaves, and the determined flowers in my garden that do not feel like giving up their glory just yet.

I promise to allow myself to not be perfect, to slowly change the things I don’t like, and develop the changes I want, at whatever pace is comfortable. And if perhaps, I hang on to some habits and ideas the way my garden flowers are hanging on to their beauty, then that is okay. If the changes and progress that I desire happen quickly, then I will do my best to hang on for the ride and not loose myself in the whirlwind. However if the changes are slow, and gradual, like the trees whose colors don’t show till the end of fall, or who hang on to their colors the longest, then I too will find my pace, in the new changes around me, and give myself the time I need to adapt. Life is full of temporary situations that feel permanent at the time. Yet change is inevitable and not something we can control, so I will allow myself to adapt to coming changes at my own pace and stay true to who I am even in chaos.

My Promise for the FallBy: Rebecca Graf

My promise for the fall is to be more understanding with others around me. This is something hard for me at times as some actions are hard for me to understand. I want to understand others better. One reason is that then I'll be able to get along with them better, but as a writer I can create better characters from learning how real people act and what drives their actions.

My Promise to Me for this FallBy: Lisa Binion

My promise to me for this fall is to enjoy life no matter what comes my way. Instead of complaining when things don’t go my way or when things don’t happen just like I think they should, I will give praise to God that He is working things out in the best possible way for me. And I will try to be more patient. I need a lot of work on that one.

My Promise for this FallBy: Michelle Cornwell-Jordan

My promise for this fall is to enjoy my each and every moment of life. I will strive to be "in the present" not so distracted with other things or problems that I cannot focus on the details that are important such as my family and friends. I will strive to create and write not with just the focus of publishing, but for myself; I will stop being negative and trust God and be grateful to Him in each area of my life.

Fall Picture Prompts—

For the first picture: Romance - The young boy gets lost and the fireman who saves him falls in love with his aunt who is his guardian. What she doesn't know nor does the fireman is that the man is the boy's real father. Horror - As the child uncovers the leaves, he releases a deadly secret that could have him and his family fighting for their lives. Mystery - As the child is playing, he disappears. As investigators look for him, they find other secrets the family has hidden away. Fantasy - The leaves hide the way to a land of fairies that only come out during a harvest moon. Science Fiction - Watching in a tree is a man from the future determined to change what the boy does next. Paranormal - Under the leaves lives a ghost that asks the boy to help him solve the mystery of his death. Children - The little boy finds a box under the leaves and discovers treasures that will change his life. Christian Fiction - The little boy lost his father. HIs family struggles with dealing with the death. Each one has to come to terms with it and with God before they can move on.

Where could this possibly lead? I see a very unusual house attached to this and something that beautiful surely has secrets.

We sailed away today. They said we had to take this river and this boat. We have never been sent somewhere until now. Our hearts are in our throats, but at least the view, for now, is beautiful.

Wolves and Fall- Genre: Mystery, Romance, Paranormal writing prompt—There he was, just as beautiful as he could be. He just stared at me. Never menacing, but after all he is a wolf. Behind his eyes he holds a secret. I have never been to this part of the forest before. Should I walk away or run?

Fall Picture Prompt—Any Genre—They had never seen colors so intense before. She and her three friends just floated through the fog bank and it was there. The sky was not the same as the one they just left behind—storms and lightning. Then they appeared here and it was just calm. Each wondered. Where have we come to?

The Sky Was on Fire—inspiration for any genre—We woke up that morning and the sky seemed to be on fire. It was just touching the treetops and headed towards our camp. We went into each of the tents and rushed all of our friends. It was like a fire storm, getting closer and closer. They each looked out and saw. You could feel the heat and this was not a normal sunny day.

MODERN-DAY SPIN-OFFS OF CLASSICSCLASSICAL CONECTIONSModern-day Spin-offs of Classics—I decided to go a little off the cuff here for this one. Let’s talk about Shakespeare for a moment, specifically Romeo and Juliet. One of the best tragic love stories Shakespeare wrote. I have always disliked tragic love, but never disliked Romeo and Juliet.

So let’s take this classic Shakespearean play and throw some fun into it. Some brilliant-minded director of films took the tragic love story and turned it into a great little movie called Gnomeo and Juliet. Have you seen it? If not, you need to.

It is set in two separate gardens one owned by a Capulet and one owned by a Montague. These two are neighbors, a man and a woman. Each is constantly battling to have the best looking lawn in their little town. Enter the garden gnomes. They are the Reds and the Blues. These are two gnome families that are battling over the same thing, except they are garden gnomes.Whoever created this cute little story was brilliant in my mind. Of course the star-crossed gnomes’ names are Gnomeo and Juliet. In the movie they even animate the statue of Shakespeare who tells the story to Gnomeo. Loved it. Shakespeare, the statue tells Gnomeo that the story ends tragically as he asks for his and Juliet’s sake. Gnomeo refuses to believe his and Juliet’s story will end just as tragically. He fights so it won’t, but does he win? Will it turn out to a happily ever after or the ending lines of the real Shakespearean play of Romeo and Juliet. “For never was a story of more woeThan this of Juliet and her Romeo”.So is this how it will end? I am not one to give that away. You’ll have to watch the movie Gnomeo and Juliet. Enjoy!~Bethanie

http://www.amazon.com/Gnomeo-Juliet-Two-Disc-

Blu-ray-

FAVORITE FALL DRINKSHomemade Mulled Cider.Fall is upon us, and it is time to start making drinks the go with the change in weather. One of my favorite fall drinks is mulled cider. Now I know you can buy cider at the store and it tastes good, but with a few additions and tweaking it can be so much better.

Ingredients: 1 to 1-1/2 half gallons Cider (Can be found at most grocery Stores)1/2 Gallon apple juice 1 large orange sliced into rings with the rindFresh or frozen cranberries1-2 cinnamon sticks 1 teaspoon nutmeg 1/2 teaspoon ginger 1 teaspoon allspice 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 6-10 whole cloves

Pour cider and apple juice into a large soup pot. Add cinnamon stick, ground cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, cloves and allspice. Stir briefly and turn to medium heat. Once cider has come to a low boil set to simmer and add a handful of cranberries, then add three to four slices of orange. Allow to simmer for 20 to 30 minutes test for flavor and add more of the spices, orange, and cranberries if desired. Once cider is to desired taste pour into mugs and enjoy. Adding brandy to this drink is also optional on tough days.Note: There will be some pulp in this drink.

Jamie Alluisi

One of my favorite drinks is making my own Butter Beer. There are several variations from hot milk and Werther's caramels melted in it. That one is really good. I add a touch of vanilla to it, too. Great to drink on cold nights. The kids really like it.

Rebecca Graf

A wonderful fall drink is Pumpkin pie smoothie-- which is not served hot--but the flavor will still make you appreciate the season:)

Michelle Cornwell-Jordan

When I am not out and about near a Starbucks, I like to make my own Pumpkin Spice Latte. I brew my coffee just so. I add Pumpkin Pie Spice Creamer to it and top it off with whipped cream and pumpkin pie spice or cinnamon and nutmeg. It depends on what spices I have in the spice cabinet.

Bethanie Armstrong

FAVORITE FALL RECIPESWhistle Stop Chili

1 cup chopped onions3 cloves garlic, minced2 Tbsp. vegetable oil1 ¼ lbs. ground chuck14 ½ ounces beef broth15 ounces tomato sauce10 ounces diced tomatoes and green chilies, drained¼ cup uncooked old-fashioned rolled oats1teaspoon salt1 tablespoon sugar¼ cup chili powder1 teaspoon red pepper flakes1 teaspoon ground cuminDash of cayenne pepperTwo 15-ounce pinto beans, drainedSaltine crackersSour creamShredded cheese

1) In a Dutch oven over medium heat, sauté the onions and garlic in the oil. Add the beef and cook until well-browned, stirring to break up the meat. Drain the excess oil.2) Add the remaining ingredients, except the beans, crackers, and cheese. Bring to a boil; lower the heat, cover, and simmer 40 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the beans. Simmer, partially covered, 15 minutes more.3)Serve in a bowl on a bed of crumbled saltine crackers and top with shredded cheese and sour cream.

Lisa Binion

Michelle Cornwell-JordanFavorite Fall recipe

Grilled Strip Steaks with Sweet Potato Hash Browns (As seen in Twilight Movie by Stephanie Myers)Recipe by Chef Frank Stitt of Highlands Bar & Grill in Birmingham, Alabama.

4 sweet potatoes (1 3/4 pounds), peeled and cut into 1-inch chunks 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 6 ounces lean slab bacon, sliced 1/4 inch thick and cut into 1/2-inch pieces 1 pound Vidalia or other sweet onions, cut into 1/2-inch dice

2 tablespoons chopped parsley 2 tablespoons minced chives 1 teaspoon chopped thyme Salt and freshly ground pepper Four 12-ounce bone-in strip or shell steaks (see Note) Light a grill. In a medium saucepan of salted boiling water, blanch the sweet potatoes for 3 minutes; drain well. In a large skillet, heat the oil. Add the bacon and cook over moderate heat until crisp, 4 to 5 minutes. With a slotted spoon, transfer the bacon to paper towels to drain. Add the onions to the skillet and cook over moderate heat until browned, about 12 minutes. Add the sweet potatoes and cook over moderate heat, stirring occasionally, until just tender, about 15 minutes. Increase the heat to high and cook without stirring until browned on the bottom, about 2 minutes. Stir in the bacon, parsley, chives and thyme; season with salt and pepper. Meanwhile, season the steaks generously with salt and pepper and grill over high heat until nicely browned outside and medium-rare within, about 4 minutes per side. Let rest for 5 minutes, then serve with the sweet potato hash browns. Make Ahead The hash browns can be prepared up to 2 hours ahead. Notes If you want to cook 2-inch-thick steaks like the one pictured, grill the meat over medium-high heat, turning every 5 minutes, until browned outside and an instant-read thermometer inserted into the center registers 130° for medium-rare, about 25 minutes total.

WHITE CHICKEN CHILI

1— can Cannellini Beans (white kidney beans)1— 10-12 oz can of white chicken1—packet of Bethel Missionary Baptist Church White Chicken Chili Seasoning1 or 1 ½ cups of water—depends on how thick you like your chiliCombine ingredients, bring to boil, then let simmer for 10 minutes. (It is spicy)

Top with shredded cheese and sour cream and serve with tortilla strips or tortilla chips. Yummy!

Bethanie Armstrong

Shepherd's pie:

Ingredients:1 to 2 pounds ground beef1 large onion diced ¼ cup fresh parsley - chopped

Frozen corn peas Diced carrots6 or more large red potatoes (with skins)l tsp. salt, 1 tsp. pepper,1 tsp. oregano, 11/2 tsp. basil, 1 teaspoon thyme, l teaspoon ground sage1/4 cup milk2tbs butterCheddar Cheese for top

Preheat oven to 350°In a large skillet lightly brown the ground beef. Add the onion, peas, corn, carrots, parsley, and seasonings. Allow to cook on low heat while cooking the potatoes. Cut potatoes and place in boiling water (with red potatoes keeping the skins on is a personal preference and removing them is not necessary for this recipe). When potatoes are done, drain and place in a large mixing bowl. Add milk and butter then mash to desired consistency. For this recipe the smoother the potatoes the better. In order to get the desired consistency use a hand mixer to blend the potatoes. Once the potatoes are done set aside. Remove the ground beef from the stove and pour into a large casserole dish then add the potatoes on top do not mix but place in oven for 15 to 20 minutes at 350 °. Adding cheddar cheese to the top of the shepherd’s pie is optional but only do it 5 minutes before it is to come out of the oven. Remove from oven place somewhere to cool for 5 minutes and enjoy.

Jamie Alluisi

INSPIRING FALL SCENESOne of the most inspiring places to see the beauty of Fall is from the viewing area in front of the Basilica Mary, Help of Christians loving referred to by those who visit as Holy Hill. The church is nestled into the trees on 435 acres of rural countryside in South Eastern Wisconsin. It is the highest point in that part of the state and offers a fantastic view of the changing colors of the trees surrounding it. For those who are brave, there is a stairway that leads to the top of the church for an incredible view of the area. I have never been brave enough, but have seen pictures of the tops of the trees that are visible to those who have climbed to the platform. Regardless of which area you chose to use for your viewing pleasure, one can’t help but feel peace and the beauty of God surround them. If you desire, you can stop in the church before you leave and enjoy the gorgeous paintings and stained glass windows. It is somewhere not to be missed if you find yourself close to the area. It is one of the places I can find inspiration any time of the year, but the colors of fall are breathtaking.

Marianne Spitzer

My children inspire me constantly. They have a great vigor for life. These were their Christmas pictures to the family in Christmas 2011. Taken in November of 2011 at Black Creek Park, so technically it was still fall. :)

Bethanie Armstrong

My daughter in her School Dance Team photo inspires me:) I'm inspired to remain positive, hopeful and enjoy life because of her. I'm inspired for the moments we have to build a strong bond between her and me. The picture also brings joy to me, I remember when I used to dance and like my daughter was so excited because the uniforms meant football games, fun and friends plus music and dance! This picture warms my heart as a mom and reminds me of my true self from when I was younger. Plus I love the fall season!

BrianaMichelle Cornwell-Jordan

FEATURED BOOKSThe Letter by: Marianne Spitzer

Chrysalis by: Michelle Cornwell-Jordan

The Letter By: Marianne Spitzer

Amazon book

link: http://amzn.com/B008MEI6W0Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/Marianne-Spitzer/e/B007VIFHEI/ref=n... Website: http://mariannemspitzer.com/ Blog: http://mariannemspitzer.com/ Marianne Spitzer, Writer on FB: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Marianne-Spitzer-Writer/26...

Chrysalis by: Michelle Cornwell-Jordan

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15705478-chrysalis

http://www.amazon.com/Chrysalis-World-BidA-Novel-ebook/dp/B00F8QUDF8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1380980985&sr=8-1&keywords=Chrysalis+michelle+cornwell+jordan

http://michellecjordan.wix.com/author#

GIVEAWAYS

Michelle Cornwell-JordanGiveawaysThe Life & Times of No one In Particular by Jamie White (EBook copy) SmashwordsForbidden Fruit by Ronda Caudill (Either free downloads of Forbidden Fruit for a day or a signed print copy of each book. Just let me know)The Sword and the Flame: The Forging by CP Bialois (Ebook copy)SmashwordsLyrical Muse 3CM Media( 3 Ebook copies)Smashwords

GREAT BOOKS FOR FALL

Michelle Cornwell-JordanGreat Books for Fall

Thunderstruck (For the Love of the Gods Anthology) Ishtar Press by Laura DelucaDaughters of Saraqael Trilogy by Raine ThomasLyrical Muse Anthology 3CM MediaThe Ascension Series by S.M. Reine

Bethanie ArmstrongGreat Children’s Books for Fall

The Merlin Saga by T. A. BarronAtlantis Rising by T. A. BarronPercy Jackson and the Olympians Series by Rick RiordanHarry Potter Series by J.K. Rowlinghttp://www.amazon.com/Little-Pumpkins-Counting-Picture-ebook/dp/B009OUY1IE/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1379781268&sr=1-2&keywords=counting+pumpkinsTailypo! By Jan Wahl—Children’s picture bookIt’s Pumpkin Time by Zoe Hall—Children’s picture book

WORD GAME—

How many words can you make from the word AUTUMN and FALL? They can be used together to create words or for a bigger challenge only make words from one at a time. The number of words can be more than what is written down or less than what is written down. It just depends on what you can do.

1. 8.2. 9.3. 10.4. 11.5. 12.6. 13. 7. 14.

POETIC JOURNIES—

Comparison of Poetic Styles: Romanticism and Realism By Rebecca Graf

Romanticism and Realism are two eras that could not be more different. Romanticism looked for the perfection in nature and looked for passion with the art (“A Brief Guide to Romanticism”). Realism was the result of the Romanticism rose colored glasses being taken off brutally from the effects of the Civil War as it looked to see the “everyday horrors experienced during the war” and not glorify such actions (Natascha Gast).  Realism grew out of Romanticism as it left the glorified look at life and began looking at it head one.

Edgar Allan Poe’s “Annabel Lee” is a poem that embodies the Romanticism aspects of glorification of death, love, and nature. It has passion all the way through it. In this poem, love is the focus in the first stanza as the love is described as pure and perfect as the young woman had nothing else she longed for “than to love and be loved by me.” The poet sees the love as so pure that the angels envied them. The realities of pain that comes from love is not discussed. The joy of the love is focused on even when she dies. There is agony of death. There is no depression. There is the love that death tried to separate the lovers. Even the death is glorified by his description of the cause of her death: “A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling / My beautiful Annabel Lee”. He does not write of the pain. The long won out. Though death took her, the poet says that nothing in the spiritual world could “ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee.” The passion of the poem is of love and the fact that it cannot be vanquished in death. Annabel Lee’s death is glorified to such a degree that a reader could only long to feel that way about someone in their life time.

Realism began in Romanticism. It only knew the glorified aspects of death until death fell upon those that possessed the romantic rose colored glasses. War and death were no longer glorious. It was ugly. In Stephen Crane’s “Do not weep, maiden, for war is kind,” he takes a unique approach as he assures the maiden in an almost sarcastic tone that death is still good in war. As Romanticism glorified it, Crane lowers the rose colored glasses and notes how the glory fades. There is pain as the dead throw “wild hands toward the sky / And the affrighted steed ran on alone” leaving the dead behind. He does not

throw off the glasses entirely as he points out how they long for the fight and the “unexplained glory flies above them”, but he cannot ignore the fact that before him lies a “field where a thousand corpses lie.” Romanticism rises up when he notes the “swift, blazing flag of the regiment, / Eagle with crest of red and gold”; realism sets in as the men following it as they head to their deaths. Death is not raising the men up in glory with Crane. He tries to sooth the lover, the daughter, and the mother with bits of Romanticism that would sooth, but cannot help let the slips of Realism enter his poem. War is not pretty or glorious. It is bloody and deadly.

Both of these poems discuss death. In fact, they focus on death. Yet the feelings each pulls from the reader is different. Poe’s poem expresses sorrow at the death of his love, but only the purity of the love as well as its strength is felt. The desire to possess such a love is felt as one reads it. Pain is covered up with the glory of such a strong and envious love. Crane, on the other hand, writes a poem that cannot help but shows the horror while trying to hold onto the Romanticism of the years before. He glorifies it to the ones mourning as he then mentions the horror of the death. In a sense, Crane’s poem is a perfect bridge between the two eras of poetry.

Works Cited

“A Brief Guide to Romanticism”. Poets.org. Web. 10 January 2013.

Crane, Stephen. “Do not weep, maiden, for war is kind.” Poetry Foundation. Web. 10 January 2013.

Gast, Natascha. "Week 4 Lecture." American Public University System. APUS, 2013. Web. 10 Jan. 2013.

Poe, Edgar Allen. “Annabel Lee.” Poets.org. Web. 10 January 2013.

POETRY CORNER—

Welcome to our poetry corner. We welcome entries from our guests. We will also have some originals from our team of editors. Hope it is enjoyable. Entry form below ( Rebecca, need an entry form of some kind).

Pumpkin ProblemsI'm not HappyThis is all a routine I'm tired of scaresTired of screams

They don't understanddon't see what I seeThere must be moreMore than Halloween

There is more!I've seen it!A place called ChristmasWe can do it, let us try!

What's this? I've failed?How can this be?I've done all I canThis Christmas Eve

But maybe... I don't need toWhat I've been seekingWhat I've been needingHas been here all along

I am meant to be hereTo make children shriekI am the best!The Pumpkin King.

©2013 Natasha Rose—used by permission

SERIAL NOVEL

Chapter 1

Mom screamed hysterically, “CAAMMII! CAAMMII! Baby, nooooo!”

I didn’t care as I ran out the backdoor into the pitch blackness of the night. I brushed through the maze of corn fields that became my backyard. Twenty acres of old dead cornstalks grabbed my long hair threatening to pull me back to a home I didn’t want to be in. They stretched before me in every direction, making me unsure of which way to turn. Things suddenly appeared; shadows, the feeling of unseen evil hands, closing in on all sides. I fell over tangled roots as I looked behind me. Scrambling back up, I froze and buried my face in my knees. My eyes were closed so tightly they watered. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't find my voice. A light—I felt it—a faint white glow lit the distance from the direction I believed to be my house. As suddenly as they appeared, the shadows disappeared. The light, however, was a false hope.

I longed for safety. My mouth was caked with dried blood, swollen and bruised. So, home wasn’t a good option. My dad would still be angry. Staring at the light in the dark, I prayed for another choice. If I went back, I would just have to sit and wait until the next time Dad became angry with me. The only home I had ever known suddenly became as frightening as the night. Sitting in the middle of my backyard, I hugged my knees to keep warm, but it was January in Kansas—freezing. I had nowhere else to go. Returning was my only option.

I knew I would have to go back, for Sierra at least. I was the only one she would ever talk to, otherwise she remained silent. She needed me. She was so timid. She used to not be, but any ounce of self-confidence that she had been able to gain had been knocked down by my dad. My precious little sister. God save her please. Tears welled in my eyes as thoughts of what could happen to her ran through my mind. I would go back for her; at least my brothers and sister cared for me. No one ever attacks my brothers and sister; I

love them dearly. That is what brought this about. Arguing was never part of my nature—until tonight.

Dad found a letter Holden had written to Mom. He read it and started yelling. “He is the most ungrateful excuse for a son! He should have never left this farm! College is a waste of time! I hope he fails and then he will see that I was right all along!”

I screamed angrily at my Dad. “Holden is not ungrateful, Dad. He just wanted to go to college and make something of himself! What is so wrong with that!?” Then is when Dad backhanded me hard across the mouth, enough to knock me down to the floor. Mom screamed in disbelief, but never came to my defense. Eli came running into the room, the sight of my bloodied and bruised mouth causing his eyes to flash as he clenched his fists at his side, willing himself not to unleash his anger as he saw my pleading eyes begging for him to do nothing. My oldest brother Holden left two years ago, I didn't want Eli leaving too.

Dad never gave Eli a second look as he stared at me with the most loathsome hate I had ever seen. “You will never speak to me with that tone again. I am your father you will respect me as such.”

Anger boiled inside me. I promised myself, that would never happen. To get respect you must earn it and you Dad NEVER earned it. Standing and facing my Dad, I stood firm, saying nothing, but never cowering. He left out of the kitchen and out the front door, slamming it behind him.

My face hurt. My father never saw tears. Emotion showed weakness where Dad was concerned. Eli glared at Mom. She looked at me and dropped her head. There my resilience faltered, running out of my house, reaching the cornfields I kept running, tripping and stumbling over roots and rocks. Falling, I gave out and only then I cried, wiping the blood from my mouth on my shirt. In the distance, I heard Eli arguing with Dad outside, knowing it was about me. I started a family war and you would not believe where it took us.

* * * *Later that night, after everything had time to calm, I walked

back into the house. Dinner was over, but honestly my appetite was gone. It didn't matter to me. I wasn’t feeling very well, anyway. Walking back in, Mom met me with a plate of dinner, salmon and rice, one of my favorites, but it turned my stomach.

“Cami, at least sit and eat.” I sat down at the table and tried to shove some of it down, but I

really didn’t want to. My throat was hurting. Dad growled as he jerked my chair away from the table, snatched the plate from in front of me, and threw it into the sink. It shattered as it landed. “If you can’t eat with us, then you won’t eat.”

Mom had tears in her eyes as she looked at me. I just didn’t say anything except, “Yes Sir.” I had already caused enough problems; I didn’t want to cause more.

“Go to your room.” I pushed myself away from the table. Forcing myself not to slam

the chair up against the table, and turned to face my father. Holding my head high, he could not break me. His eyes smoldered with anger.

“Yes, Sir.” I walked up the stairs to the room I shared with

Sierra. She had fallen asleep. Her hair fell over her face. I walked over to her and brushed it away, accidentally waking her up. Why does she have to grow up in this house with Dad not wanting us?

She sat up and hugged me tightly around the neck. “Cami, you’re okay. I was afraid you had left too.” She started crying. “Dad hurt you; you have a huge bruise on your mouth.”

I knelt down at the side of her bed.“It’s okay, Sierra. I shouldn’t have back talked Dad that way.”

Other thoughts however were going through my mind. No, I shouldn’t have back talked Dad that way, but he deserved no respect. He never had respected anyone else and he is the biggest fake I have ever known. I should have fought back!

Eli walked in, quietly angry. “Still, Dad had no right to hit you. You did not deserve that. I want you to do something for me, both of you. Pack everything you can into one suitcase. We are leaving tonight.”

I looked at Eli dumbfounded. “Eli, what are you talking about?”“I am taking the two of you to Holden.” “How are you going to do that? We don’t know where he is.”“I know where he is, Cam. I have known it for the past two

years.”Sierra and I both just stared at him. “Why did you never tell

us?”“We couldn’t risk Dad finding out. We have been planning this

with Mom for the past three years. She’s been trying to bide her time, because she didn’t want to let the two of you go.

Then tonight when Dad hit you she knew it was time. Holden might just try to kill Dad when he sees your face.”

“You mean all the worrying about Holden and everything was nothing but an act? Eli . . . wait a minute, time for what?”

“Time for . . .” Eli trailed off as Dad yelled angrily from downstairs.

“Eli, we still have work to do in the barns!”“Yes, Sir. Coming,” he told Dad. As he walked out of our room,

he whispered. “Cami, everything will be okay, I promise. You and Sierra just do what I said.”

Eli left. Mom ran up the stairs and into our room. “Come on, girls get your suitcases, we only have a couple of hours before they come back in.”

Mom started handing us things out of our drawers as we packed them in our suitcases. “Mom, why are you doing this?”

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she helped us get our things into our suitcases.

“Because I love you with all my heart, I want you to have a chance. Just like I wanted Holden and Eli to have a chance. Your father will work him to death, just like his father worked him. This farm makes more than enough to have a full set of hired hands and I will not have him working my children to death. Your Dad will die working these fields, because that is all he knows. He wants farmers. I want for my children whatever they want to be. As long as you are here you will not get that chance. You will have to work, but you will be paid. Don’t disappoint me, you know how to clean a house and cook, and you will do that to the best of your ability. The boys will

work, but they will be paid for it too. They are both already registered for college. You will have room and board where you are going and you will never be hit by your father again.”

“Mom, where are we going? What about you?”“You will find out when you get there, and don’t worry about

me. Your father really does love me, and that will be my saving grace. Believe it or not I love him too, but I do not love how he has always treated you two and will not allow my boys to go to college. I feel they deserve the chance to make their own choices and live their own lives. You two will have those choices too. The one thing that makes my heart glad is that all of my children will be together, and they will have each other. Do me proud.”

“Mom, please, where is Holden?”“He will be there waiting on you. Now this is how it’s going to

be. Holden is your guardian from now until I feel like you can come home. And I will just be honest; I don’t know when that will be, if that will ever be. I hope your father will come to his senses where all four of you are concerned, but I am not holding my breath. Holden is twenty-five and very smart. He has been going to college for the past two years. He has found work during the summers and that is why he was never in the same place for very long. We just happened to luck out with this family that he found. It is probably more like providence, but we will see. They have a farm too. Holden has taken care of the legal matters to make himself you and your sister’s guardian.”

I stopped packing, looking back at the door Eli had just left from. “Mom, what about Eli?” Will Holden be his guardian too?”

“Honey, Eli is twenty-one; he doesn’t need a guardian. I think this is the best opportunity for all of you. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Everything will be fine. Trust me. Just make me proud!”

“Mom, will we ever see you again?” Tears streamed down mine and Sierra’s face. Mom had always been there. Now we were going to have to leave her, but she did it for our own good.

Mom hugged us both. We all sat on the bed and cried as she rocked us. “Honey, we are not going anywhere. You know where to find us and I will always welcome you no matter what. I love you more dearly than my own life. We can write to each other and you can call me sometimes. I know this is best for you two and your brothers. I will miss you terribly, but I will give you up so you can make something of your life. Take that chance and run with it. There is no telling what you will be able to do.” We heard the back door open, and Mom slipped out of our room as she blew us both a kiss.

Sierra and I pushed our suitcases under the bed. They would be ready when Eli came to get us. We slept in our clothes, prepared to leave. We cried ourselves to sleep. The only things happy I saw about the situation at that moment was we would at least still have part of our family with us and I was glad to know that Holden was okay.

* * * *Eli came into our room about two o’clock the next morning and

shook us awake. I glanced at the clock and decided to put that in my suitcase too. Dad would be up in about two hours. “Cami, Sierra, come on it’s time to go. Where are your suitcases?”

We were stumbling, trying to pull our suitcases out from under

our beds. I placed the clock in my suitcase and shut it. Eli had already pulled his pickup truck out of the shed and parked it in front of the horse barn. We carefully made our way down the stairs. Mom met us at the backdoor and gave us one last kiss and hug and sent us on our way with two hundred dollars each, and for Holden too. “Keep in touch my sweet ones. I love you with all of my heart.”

Eli put our suitcases in the back of his truck. He tied them down and covered them with a tarp. We put Sierra in the middle of Eli and me. Mom faded in the light from the doorway of a home we would never return to. She loved us with everything she had and gave her children a chance to become what they wanted. That was my Mom or at least I thought.

©2013 Bethanie Armstrong—used by permission

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