1

DISCLAIMERThe jokes collecTed in This e-book are conTribuTed by people all

around The world. we are claiming no copyrighT on mosT of

individual jokes found in e-book. mosT of Them are, To besT of

our knowledge, in public domain. iT is possible ThaT some of The

jokes wiThin collecTion are acTually copyrighTed. if There is any

unfair misuse of copyrighT in This e-book, iT was noT willful. conTacT supporT@TinTumon.com and we will remove iT.This collecTion is copyrighT © 2009 by TinTumon.com. all

righTs reserved. we are noT claiming This for The jokes on book. are claiming an “ediTor’s” or “collecTion” copyright.

1Ambalam

Tintumon: I love u…girl: kaalil cherippu undu..Tintu: “Ente hridhayam AMBALAM alla… kayari ponnolu……!!Tintumon aaaaaaara mon !!

2 Kalyanam

Mintumol: “I love u”Tintumon: “I love u too”Mintumol: “Namukku kalyanam kazhikkam”

Tintumon: “Pakshe aru nammale kalyanam kazhikkum???”

3 Wrong answer

Teacher: “If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get?”Tintumon: “Wrong answer”

4 Why boys chase girls ?

Mintumol: Ningal boys enthina girls-ne chase cheyyunnathu. Ningalkkavare Marry cheyyan plan illenkilum.Tintumon: Pattikal car-inu pirake odunnathu car odikkanano ?

5 Pathra vayna

Pathrathile vartha Tintu mon ingane vayichu: ”Ayyayo K V sebastian Pottitherichu”Achan: Manda !! nokki vayikku “110 KV substation Pottitherichu enna”

6 No freeze liquid

Teacher: ‘Freeze aakatha oru liquid-nte peru parayoo’Tintumon: ‘Chooduvellam’

7

PunishmentTintumon:”Cheyyaatha kaaryathinu enne shikshikkumo teacher?”Teacher:”Orikkalumilla.”Tintumon:”Nalla teacher, njan homework cheythittillaa!!”

8 Track suit

Tintumon was chasing a donkey. But he couldnt catch that. After sometime he saw one zebra on the way.Tintumon caught the zebra and told: “panni track suit ittal njan nine pidikilla ennu karuthiyo?”

9 Best husband

Three Malayali Couples in a Restaurant….Couple 1 : Husband: “aa sugar ingeduthe Panjare….”Couple 2 : Husband: “aa liver ingeduthe Karale………”Upon hearing the above conversation, the third couple started…….Couple 3: dundu mol : kandille manushya, avarudeyokke sneham. Angane venam bharthakkanmar aayal!Then,Couple 3: Tintumon : aa beef ingeduthe Pothe..!!! :) ))

10 Maths Proof

Exam Qn:IF 2(l+b)=P;Prove that 4b=P.Tintumon :2(l+b)=P2(ell+b)=P2(bone+b)=Ptaking ‘b’ comon2b(one+1)=P2b(2)=P4b=P!Tintumonoda kali

11 Interview

malayalam pareeksha ezhuthikondirikkunna tintumonqn: prashastha kavayathri Sugathakumariyumaayulla oru abhimukham ezhuthukatintumon inganne ezhuthi…..Njan: namasth teacher. njan teacherumaayi oru abhimukham nadathaan vanathaanuSugathakumari: samayamila mone..poyittu pinne varu.Njan: shari teacherkali tintumonnodo???

12 Tharavattil Pirannavan

tintumon :amme njan enganeya undayathu?amma:mone nee vellapokkathil ozhukivannathatintumon:appol ammayum achanum appooppanum enganeya undayathu?

amma:njangalum vellapokkathil ozhukivannathatintumon:appol evide tharavattil piranna otta orennam ellalle

13 Cheetha koottukar

Oru divasam achan tintumonodu: “da nee innale kudichu bodham illathe aanu vannathu..enthadaa ithu”..tintu: ”ellaam cheetha koottukettukal kaaranama achaa..!! aake 5 beer, 5 koottukaar.., athil 4 perum kudikkilla ennu vechaal pinne njan enthu cheyyanaa..!!!. :) “

14 Pootum Thakolum

Tintu mon in super markettintu:Chetta kalikkudukka undo?sales man:illatintu:ice cream undo?sales man:illatintu:chocolate undo?sales man:illatintu:pootum thakolum undo?sales man:undutintu:enna shop pootti veettil poykkude

15 Tajmahal

Teachr: “Bharya’yude ormakayi shajahan‘TAJ MAHAL’ panithu”.

.

.Tintum0an: Alla, njan onnu chothichotte ,iyaal ithra valiya maravikaaran aayirunno ?

16 Complan

Kaattiloode nadannu pokunna Tintumon marathil thoongi kidakkunna paampine kandappol paranjathu enthu??.....“Veruthe thoongi kidakkaathe mummy odu para complan vaangitharaan!” ;)

17 Convert

Teacher: convert the following sentence to malayalam. ” I SAW A FILM YESTERDAY”Tintumon: Teacher innale ‘A’ padam kandu.

18 Passive Voice

teacher: Write the passive voice of ” I made a mistake”tintumon: ” I was made by a mistake”

19

Poor modelsFTV kanukayayirunna achante adukal vanna tintumon FTV noki achanod” acha avarentha cheriya dress darichirikunnath..?”Achan: ” avar pavangalayath kondanu..tintumon: ” ivarekalum pavangal vannal ennod parayanam acha please “

20 History class

Tintumon history classinu munpu prarthikunnathu kanda teacherteacher: ithu nalla oru sheelamanu. nee entha prarthiche?tintumon: ente amma paranjittundu urangunnathinu munpu prarthinkanam ennu.

21 Smart answer

Teacher asks !!!children what do u wish to in future?Vinod–I want to be doctor,Deepa–I want to be a good mother.Tintumon– want to help deepa.

22 aaril anju

MATHS TEACHER: ”Aaril anju poyal enth kittum?”TINTUMON: “Anjuvinte dead body kittum, karanam avalku swimming ariyilla…!!

23 Tintumonte guest

Veettil virunnu vanna penkutti kulikkunnath olinju nokkukayayirunna Tintumonod Amma: Enthada ee kanikkunnathTintumon: Chee.. mindalle. Aval nammude soap edukkunnundonnu nokkuvaa..Tintumonoda kali..

24 Fee

Kaalu potti Hospitalil stich idan chenna tintu.Fees Ethrayakum?Doctr: 1500 rsTintu:veruthe 2 stich itta mathi,embroidary work onnum venda.

25 Interview

Actress: Tamililekkulla ente praveshanam pettennayirunnu.Tintumon: Athayirikkum vendathra thuni edukkan pattathirunnath alle..!!!

26 I love you

UKG’il padikkunna tintumonodu, LKG’il padikkunna pappymol:”I LOVE YOU DA”Tintu mon: “Pha dash mole, Mottennu viriyatha ninne kittiyittu njan enthu cheyyana…”?

27 Eduthal pongathathu

Cigarette valichukondu pokunna Tintumone kanda palliyilachan: “Eduthaal pongaathathaanalloda ninte chundathu?”Tintumon: “Eduthaal pongaathathukonda acho.. valichukondu pokunne!!”

28 Tintumon & Kallan

Tintumonte veettil kallan keri.Ithu kanda Tintumon:“Ente bagum bookum koodi kondu poda,illenkil njan ellavareyum vilichunarthum”

29 Rome

Cigarette valichukondu pokunna Tintumone kanda palliyilachan: “Eduthaal pongaathathaanalloda ninte chundathu?”Tintumon: “Eduthaal pongaathathukonda acho.. valichukondu pokunne!!”

30 Rocket

Breaking newsChandranil vellam matramalla thimingalam,kadalaama,sravu thudangiya jeevikalum ullatay kanunnu-NASA

Tintumon: Pavam..NASAKu ariyillallo ROCKET Arabikadalil veena karyam

31 Bio practical exam

Tintumon attended bio practical exam.Examiner: Tell the bird name by seeing leg.Tintumon: I dont know.Examiner: u fail.Whats ur name ?Tintumon: See my leg & tell.

32 Exam barcode

Tintumon examil onnum kittathayappol peparil||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||Ithu pole barcode varachittu adiyil ezhuthi“Scratch gently to read the answer “

33 Girlfriend

Duttumon: “My girlfriend is an angel”Tintumon: “You are lucky aliya. Ente girlfriend ippozhum jeevanode undu”

34 Achanum thengum

Thengil ninu veena achanumayi hospitalil ethiya tintumonodu

Dr: oru 5 min. mumpu ethichirunengil rekshapeduthamayirunu.Tintumon: thengenu onnu veenu kittende doctor.

35 fibre content

Tuttumol: Arinjo? oru nalla diet-lu dharalam fibre undakanam.Tintumon: Athinentha thega thinnal pore .Tuttumol: Thegayil high fibre content aano?Tintumon: Pothikathe kazhichal mathi.

36 thermodynamic law of romance

Tintumons thermodynamic law of romance:“Luv can neither be created nor be destroyed. It can only be changed from one girlfriend to another with considerable loss of money”

37 Geography

Teacher: “Tintumone.. ithavanayum ninakku geography-kku motta poojyam aanu. Ne entha geography padickathe ?”Tintumon: “Achan parayarundu. Lokam anudhinam marikondirikkukayanennu. Lokam onnu settle aayikkotte. Ennittu padickam !”

38 GIRL FRIEND

TINTU MON:eda enik avale marakkan pattunnilla

FRIEND:athrayku ishtamanenkil ninte veetil paraTINTU MON: Parayaam……..U.K.G. result varatte

39 Railway

Train nirthiyapol yathrakaran tintuvinod: ithetha station…??Tintumon windowilude purathek thalayitt nokiyitt: Railway station aanenn thonunnu…!

40 Mark

Mash: adutha pareekshakku nee 75% mark vanganam.Tintumon: njan 100% mark vangum.Mash: thamaasha parayallee…Tintumon: Nayinte mone, aara aadhyam thamaasha paranjathu?

41 Appopan

Tintumon: Apoppan endha urangukayano?Amma: Alla mone apoppan marichu. Nammal kozhiye okke kollumbol athu chaville?.. athu pole..Tintumon: Appam Eppazha kari vekkunne!!

42 Dineshan

Teacher :What is the name of Gandhiji’s son?Tintumon: Dineshan

Teacher :Why?????Tintumon : Mahatma Gandhi is the father of di-neshan

43 Progress report

Tintumonte Achan: Ninte progress report evideyada ?Tintumon: Athu njan Ramuvinu koduthu.Achan: Athenthinada ?Tintumon: Avanu avante achane pedippickana…

44 Correction in Sentence

Tintumon: Can I go to the toilet?English Teacher: Tintumon, MAY I go to the toilet?Tintumon: But I asked first!

45 Proposal

Innocent Proposal from tintumon(UKG-B) to Minimol(2-A)Tintumon: i luv u…Minimol: chi..poda,i’m elder than uTintumon: i’m madly luving u…Minimol: poda…Tintumon: chechi chechi pls…

46 Census

Panchayathil ninnum kanakku edukkan vanna udhyogasthan Tintumonte veetil ethi.

Udhyogasthan: Mone ee veetil Kakoos undo?Tintu: Undallo..Udhyogasthan: Sheri, Kinar undo ?Tintu : Manassilayi!!..uncle vegam chennirunnolu..avide pipe-um bucketum undu.

47 Tintumon and His father

Tintumon thante puthiya toy bus’umayi :“drrrr…pee pee pom..Stop!Ella thendikalum irangiko.Eni kayaraanulla kazhuverikal kayaru.Puvam rite..drrr..Kayari nilkada pulle.drrr..”Ithu shradicha tintumonte achan sahikettapol bus edthu maati.5 mintolam tintumon karanjapol achan bus thirichu kodthu..Tintumon:“drrr pee pee pom pom..drrr.. Stop..!Vegam irangada pattikale,allengil thanne oru naayintemon karanam 5 minute late aayi..!!Puvam rite. tin tin……!!

48 Chenda

Tintumon:”Acha, enikkoru chenda vaangi tharumo?”Achan:”Venda, nee mattullavare upadravikkum.”Tintumon:”Illa acha,njan ellaavarum urangikkazhinje chenda edukku..”

49 Muthassi

Tintu: muthashi marichu leave venamTeachar: ninte muthashi yalle 1 masam munp marichathTintu: muthachan veendum ketti !!

50 With policeman

Tintu monum ,3 friendsum koodi cyclil Schoolil powukayaaayirunnu…Oru Police’kaaran Kaikaatti….Tintu : “phah….pullee.. Ippol Thanne 3 Per Aayi…

www.tintumon.com

1

DISCLAIMERThe jokes collecTed in This e-book are conTribuTed by people all

around The world. we are claiming no copyrighT on mosT of

individual jokes found in e-book. mosT of Them are, To besT of

our knowledge, in public domain. iT is possible ThaT some of The

jokes wiThin collecTion are acTually copyrighTed. if There is any

unfair misuse of copyrighT in This e-book, iT was noT willful. conTacT supporT@TinTumon.com and we will remove iT.

This collecTion is copyrighT © 2009 by TinTumon.com. all

righTs reserved. we are noT claiming This for The jokes on book. are claiming an “ediTor’s” or “collecTion” copyright.

1Tintumon in Bus

Busil vadi kuthi nilkunna oru vayassan seatil irukkunna tintumonod “mon enne onnu sahayikkanam”tintu: ”aa vadiyingu thannekoo,njan pidicholam”

2 Dr.Tintumon

“MBBS” passaya Tintumon adhyamaayi operation cheyyan thudangumbol daivathod prarthichu:“Joly kittiyathinte 1st gift itha njan angot ayakkunnu.sweekarikkane.”

3 Frank Tintu

Teacher: Now tintumon, Tell me frankly. Do you say prayers before eating?Tintumon: No sir, My mom is a good cook!!

4 Chemistry genius

Tintumon : Eureka , I have found out the chemical TOILET Calcium Cupric Sulphide…To be precise , CaCuS ….

5 Vazhipad

Tintumon ambalattil vazhipad counter Q vil..Munnile uncle : shambhu, thiruvatira, paalppaayasam.Tintumon: Hans, break dance, chickenbiriyani…!

6 Pranayam

“Nashtappedam pakshe pranayikkathirikkaruth”-kamala surayya“Pranayikkam pakshe thalayil aavaruth”-TINTU MON

7 Tintu’s beach visit..

A man jumped into sea and never came out….Nxt day, 2 men jumped into sea and never came out…Tintumon after watching this concluded that:MAN IS SOLUBLE IN WATER..!!

8 Tintu’s Temple Visit

Tintumon: The youth nowaday is getting Worse!!Friend: Y do u say that?Tintu: I was in Temple, When a Guy next to me lit a Cigarette from the Aarathi. I was Shocked and almost dropped my Beer Bottle!!

9

Strong LoveTintumon to girlfriend:- “Theegolangal panju vannalum, Kodumkattu veeshi adichalum njan ninne swantham aakkum…..Girlfriend:- naale varumo chetta?Tintumon:- Nokkatte mazha illengil varam…

10 Professor

A professor to tintumon: “what is attention deficit hyperactive disorder?”tintumon: “JIMBALAKDI BAMBA”professor: “i dont understand anything”tintumon: “same 2 you”

11 Sandwiches

One day tintumon went into a pub with his girlfriend Tintumol and after ordering twodrinks took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them.“You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here,” complained the pub-owner.So they exchanged their sandwiches…!!

12 Similarity

Teacher: What is common between Gandhi, Budha, Krishna and Jesus…?Tintumon: They were all born on public holidays

13 New Boyfriend

Tintumon : My girl friend broke up with me and sent me pics of her with her new boy friend.Appukuttan : Really bad.. what did u do??Tintumon : I sent that pics to her dad :)

14 SSLC

SSLC 10 vattam ezhuthi thotta Tintumon thante PEN, examination board nu ayachu koduthu.. Oppam oru kurippum:........“Aayudham vechu keezhadangunnu!” :D

15 Group photo

Classinte Group photo eduthathinu sesham athu vangan kuttikale motivate cheyyunna teacherTeacher: Ningal ellavarum valuthayikkazhinjal ningal ee photo nokki santhoshikkum. Appol mathrame ningalkithinte vila ariyoo..Oral parayum.. ithu ramu.. ivan innu doctor aanu.. ithu kuttan… ivan ippol americayilanu…

Pinnilathe benchil ninnu Tintumon: Ithu teacher.. Iyal thattippoyi.

16 Sangathi

Achan:Ethenthaadaa nee 5 kilo ulli vangikkondu vannathu?Tintumon:Njaan naale pattu paadaan pokuvallai?Achan:Athinenthinaada ulli?Tintumon:Achan kettittillai Star Singeril sangathi ulleennu varanam eenu paranjathu..

17 Water

Teacher:What is the formula of water?Tintumon:H2MgClNaClHNO3CaCO3Ca(OH)2SnTnHg NiHCl(COOH)OTeacher:What is this?Tintumon: This is Corporation Water!

18 Techy Tintumon

Teacher: Write a C program to prevent TITANIC from sinking..Tintumon:Declare the variable TITANIC as float…!

19 Mother!

Father to Tintumon: Why can you not think every woman as your mother?

Tintumon: I can, but if i did so, what will people think of you?

20 Petrol

Friend: Entha ithra vegathil angottum ingottum odunnath?Tintumon: Brandiyanennu karuthi nhan petrol eduthukudichu. Athu oditheerkkukayanu!

21 Goa

Teacher:Tintumon,Where is your native place?TintuMon: checkoslovakia.Teacher:Tell me the spelling…(kure neram alochichathinu sesham tintumon)Tintumon:Patticheeee…….!!!!!!my native place is GOA..

22 Theater

Chicken Biriyani kazhichittu cinema kaanaan poya Tintumon veetil madangi vannu.Tintumon : “Ini orikalum cinema kanan chicken thinnittu kerilla”Didumol : “Enthu patti ?”Tintumon : “Vayattilulla kozhi vare koovi …”

23 Tintumon as god

Tintumon: appurathe veettukar enne daivamayitta kanunne.Amma: athu ninakkengane manassilayi?Tintumon: Njan avarude veetilekk chennappol avaru parayukaya……“DAIVAME, NEE PINNEYUM VANNO…!!!”

24 Stupid

Tintumon went to his Dad’s Friend’s home late night.Uncle offered him to Sleep in Baby’s room.Tintumon refused because the Baby might Cry at Night and went to sleep in the drawing hall.Next morning he saw a Beautiful young Girl at the breakfast table,Tintumon : Who are you?The girl replied,”I am Baby and You??”Tintumon : I am a Stupid!!! :p

25 Dosa

Teacher: Name the liquid which changes to solid when heatedTintumon: Dosa

26 Tintumonoda kali

To be is to do(Socrates)To do is to be(Plato)To be or not to be(Shakespeare)Aaha angane vittal pattuo..Scoo be do be dooo(Tintu mon, LKG)……..

27 Sign Board

Tintumon was asked to write a sign board for the traffic near the school.He wrote“Drive carefully! Don’t kill the students, wait for the teachers”

28 Exam

Achan: Exam inu nee thottal ini enney achaa ennu vilikkendaaa….Kurach divasam kazhinju…..Achan: Enthayeda result???Tintu mon:-Aliyaaa sorry daaa…..5 subject il potty machu!!

29 Sleep with dad

Tintu: Im sleep with dad last nightTeacher corrects him: no..no..I slept with dad last night..tintu: appo njan urangikazhinjayirikkum teacher vannath alle..?

30 Achante upadesham

Achan: Daivam thamburan Molinnu vilichal nammalellavarum ponam tintumone….Tintumon: Daivam thamburan molinnu vilichal moli mathram poya pore acho…??

31 Mandan

Teacher: “Eee classil mandanmar undenkil ezhunnettu nilku”Aarum ezhunnettilla. 10 second kazhinjappol Tintumon ezhunnettu.Teacher: “Oho… Ne mandanano ?”Tintumon: “Teacher ottakku nilkunnathu kandappol sankadam thonni”

32 Motta

Teacher: Namukku motta tharunna ethenkilum 4 jeevikalude peru parayu?Tintumon jumped and said:“Physics missEnglish missMaths missSocial miss!!”

33 Tintumon’s Diary

14-11-2009: Nhan avalod oru poo chodichu.Aval oru poochedi thannu.15-11-2009: Avalod oru page chodichu.Aval oru book thannu.16-11-2009: Avalod oru umma chodichu.

Umma mathramalla…….uppayum angalamarum koodi nallonam thannu……

34 Chandranil vellamundu

Vartha..” Chandranil vellamundu-ISRO”TINTUMON: pedikkenda, athu pandu NEIL ARMSTRONG kulichappo oorivacha mundaayirikum…edukkan marannu kanum!!!

35 Cigarette

Achante munpil ninnu cigaratte valikunna tintumonodu achan.“Enthada ithu ? Achante munpil ninnano cigarette valikunnathu ? ”Tintumonte cool marupadi – “Achanalle … petrol pump onnum allallo ! “

36 Tintumon in classroom

Classil urangunna tintumonodTeacher: uushmav alakkunna upakaranam etha?Tintumon: ChatukamTeacher: nhan entha chodichath?Tintumon: uppumav ilakkunna upakaranamalle teacher….

37 Puli

Tintumon went to forest with his friend ,

pettenne oru puli munnil chaaady.!!friend puliyude kannil mannu variyittu.Friend: oodikko??Tintumon: njan ethina odunne nee alle mannu vaary ittathu..!!!

38 Red Beautiful

Teacher: nigalude achande name englishil parayamo?Tintumon: RED BEUTIFUL UNDERWEARTeacher: Appol,Entha Achande Sharikula nameTintumon: SUDERLAL SHETTI

39 PTA meeting

Tintumon: Dad, there is a small PTA meeting at school tomorrow…..Dad: Wat do u mean by a small PTA meeting ?Tintumon: its… just u, me & the Principal !

40 Traffic sign board

Teacher : entha classil ethan vaikiyathu?Tintumon: Traffic sign board kaaranam.Teacher : Enthu sign board?Tintumon : road side il ezuthi vachathu “School Ahead, Go Slow.”

41 Indicator

caril pokunna achan tintumonod:”indicator kathunnundo?onnu nokku”tintumon:”undu…illa…undu…illa…undu…illa…undu…illa…undu…illa…”

42 Medical shop

Tintumon in medical shopTintumon:- chetta! chumakulla oru marunnu tha.Shopkeeper:- tonikkano?Tintumon:- ‘Tony’kalla ente ammakkaa…

43 Rajesh

Tintumon: a rajesh enne thalli,ini thaliyal njan shemichu enu varillaAchan: nee mashodu paranjille?Tintu: Hmmm…………avan thanneyanu ee rajesh!

44 Revenge

Achan: eda tintuve…..nhan ninne vazhaku parayumbol ninaku feel aaville..appol nee ninte vishamom mattan enthu cheyum ?Tintumon: njan veetile toilet nallapole vrithi aakumAchan: athu kond ninte vishmom engane marana??Tintumon: Nhan Toilet vrithi aakunath Achante toothbrush kond aanu!!!

45

Good NewsTintumon : Achaa,Oru santhosha vaartha undu!Achan : Entha ?Tintumon : Achan Paranjille njan ee thavanthe exams enkilum pass aayaal enikku 1000 Rs tharaamennu !!!!Achan : Uvvu !!!Tintumon : Achante 1000 rs poyitilla….happy aayeelle…?

46 Auto

Autoyil ninnirangiya tintumon:ethrayayiDriver:100 roopatintu mon 50 roopa koduthu,appol choodaya driver:ivide vare sughich irunnallo ennit 50 roopayoTintu:thaanum ivide vare sughich irunnathalle,thante paisa enthina njan tharunnath

47 Chemistry Class

Teacher : What is “Al2 O3 ?Ramu : Alumina.Teacher: Tintu, What is ‘Fe2 O3 ?Tintumon : “Filomina”

48 Tintumonte Kalyanam

Tintumon: Njan ninte veetil poyirunnu,nammude kalyanam nadakkumennu thonnunnilla …Tintumol :Endha, Achane kando ?Tintumon: illa, ninte aniyathiye kandu.

49 Tintumon and bus conductor

Bus Cunductor: Why are you standing near the door, is your father a watchman? Tintu Mon: Why are you always asking for “Chillara”, Is your father a Beggar ??

50 Tintumonte Budhi

Vakkyathil Prayogikkuka“Kriyathmagam”Tintumon: Teacher classil Kriyathmagam enna vakkinte artham chodhichappol aarum onnum mindiyilla… !!!Tintumonoda Kali…

www.tintumon.com