Much criticism is directed at peo-

ple who flit between relationships, leaving behind broken hearts and broken promis-es. Many would say that we have become a fickle society who move from partner to partner like bees between flowers.

Marriage and com-mitment, it seems, are not in fashion anymore and many now enjoy ‘open’ re-lationships, in which fidelity is not a pri-ority and terms that suit both partners are agreed.

Call me an old roman-tic, but I still believe in finding that spe-cial person and then enjoying a life-long

commitment with them. But where to find such a per-son? With the enor-mous availability of all types of relation-ships and all sorts of offers on the menu, how can I be sure of ending up with the right person?

And what if I end up with the wrong per-son?

Do I resign myself to a life spent wish-ing for happiness, or do I move on? Many do. Others choose to stay, but do so with a bitterness in their hearts that grows to poison their life.

I have many friends who bemoan their partners, it seems almost constantly.

I have lost count of the number of times in the last ten years that I have listened to one particular friend telling me how truly dreadful her life is with her ‘other half’. I recently found an old mobile phone in a drawer, there were old text messages from my friend on it that I hadn’t read for nearly six years. The content of these text messages could have been written by her yesterday. Reading them, I realised that she’d had the same complaints about her partner for a long time! For years, she had been telling me how unhappy she was and how terrible and frequent their arguments were.

I find that dreadfully sad. Our lives are far too short to spend them unnecessarily miserable.

While I don’t advo-cate flitting from relationship to rela-tionship, if you are truly unhappy with someone, surely it’s better for everyone concerned if you end the relationship with dignity?

My friend tells me that she can’t end the relationship as she worries about the effect on her two children. She also shares a house and mortgage with her partner and says that splitting up would be too financially com-plicated to consider.

Time for Change?What is your happiness worth?

“Make it your life’s mission to enjoy every moment gifted to you”

Naomi Walker

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I agree that the children must be the priority when consid-ering the effects of any do-mestic changes. However, are the children not already adversely affected by their parents’ unhappiness? If the situation was handled with sensitivity and dignity, could a workable solution not be found that saw both parents and children in a happier sit-uation? As for the financial complexities, surely these could be worked out with some discussion and com-promise? Can we ever put our financial health above our emotional well-being? I think not!

Ten years of complaining about a relationship is a rela-tionship well past its sell-by-date in my opinion, and the next time I speak with this particular friend, I shall be

telling her that it is high time she takes responsibility for her own happiness and sorts this out! Initially a split may be difficult to work out but the longer term aims need to be considered. Ten years down the road from now, I hope she doesn’t find herself still miserable and a decade older!

If you are truly unhappy with someone, look care-fully at your situation. If you can’t work out your prob-lems, perhaps you need to take responsibility for your own happiness and move on. Don’t waste this lifetime with someone who will never make you happy, you owe it to yourself to always try to live your life as happily as you can. Consider the effects of your actions on others but, ultimately, your happiness

is your own responsibility as the happiness of others is theirs.

The cause of many intimate relationships failing is not just the wide availability of other options, it’s also to do with our lack of discerning when choosing to be with some-one in the first place. The media and society conditions us to believe that somehow we are not complete until we have a mate. The stigma of being single leads us into re-lationships that would better have been avoided.

For the sake of your future happiness, choose carefully!

Learning to be happy as a single person is one of the most fulfilling experiences you can have. If you learn to love yourself, loving anyone else is only a bonus!

We would love to hear your story. If you would like to share your experiences, or write an article for The Feel Good Mag-azine, please get in touch. We welcome submissions from writers who are previously published, new to writing or some-where in between! The important factor is that you can write with passion!

For submission guidelines, please clike HERE

Please email final draft only to naomi@thefeelgood.org

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