This Young Mom is Giving Up on Her Kids. Sounds Terrible...but I Think She's Right

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04.04.14 OddCrunch www.oddcrunch.com/young-mother-giving-up/0 1/5 Amazing | Beautiful | Shocking OddCrunch This Young Mom Is Giving Up On Her Kids. Sounds Terrible...But I Think She's Right. Next This Young Mom Is Giving Up On Her Kids. Sounds Terrible...But I Think She's Right. Stephanie is a mom of two kids and recently had enough. She wrote an eyeopening public confession on her blog... after I saw it, I totally agree with her. She writes: ''Why My Kids Are Not The Center Of My World Wait, what did she say? Yeah, you read that right. This blog post is a bit of a rant and it's a bit all over the place. My kids are NOT the center of my world, and that's quite simply because they aren't the center of any world, anywhere. If you're feeling adventurous today, feel free to read on. I'll forewarn you though, this post contains subject matter about which I feel very strongly. As are most emotionally heated issues I suppose it's controversial. But hey, I feel how I feel and that's not going to be changed. The emotions that sparked this blog post were given a little bit of a supercharge last evening. Hendrix was picking out what he wanted to take to school for Show & Tell. He chose a little Imaginext action figure one that he's had for about two years now. With the action figure comes a little yellow object. For the two years that he's had this toy, that yellow object has always been a drill to him. He gathered the action figure, the mask that goes with him, and the yellow drill and proudly told me he'd chosen that for Show & Tell. Then, you could see him thinking. And he promptly changed his mind and said to me, 'You know what, I better not take this. My teacher will probably think it's a gun, and then I'll get in trouble,' put the action figure back, and chose something else. I often think about the world my boys will grow up in. I often get angry when I think about it. This particular situation just furthered those emotions for me. In completely selfish terms, bringing my boys into this world was such a great decision for me. They bring me so much joy, they fill my heart, they make me happy. But I often question whether or not it was the right decision for them. My boys are typical little boys. They love to play guns. They love to play good guy versus bad guy. They love to wrestle and be rowdy. That's the nature of little boys, as it has been since the beginning of time. How long will it be before their typical boyish behavior gets them suspended from school? How long before they get suspended from daycare? How long will it be before one of them gets upset with a friend, tells that friend to go away and leave them alone, and subsequently gets labeled as a bully? The mentality of our society in 2014 is nauseating to me, friends. Many years ago, there was a time where young boys could run around with their toy guns, killing the bad guys. You could take the toy guns away from the little boys, and they'd find something else around them a stick, their fingers, etc and pretend it was a gun. Today, those little boys if caught doing that are labeled as threats, and immediate action is taken to remove that threat from the group. There was a time not too long ago when bullying was defined as slamming someone up against a locker and stealing their lunch money. There was a time when kids got called names and got picked on, and they brushed it off and worked through it (ask me how I know this). Now, if Sally calls Susie a b*tch (please excuse my language if that offends you), Susie's whole world crumbles around her, she contemplates suicide, and this society encourages her to feel like her world truly has ended, and she should feel entitled to a worldwide pity party. And Sally phew! She should be jailed! She should be thrown in juvenile detention for acting like gasp a teenage girl acts. Modern parenting and thinking makes me crazy. The young generations of today (yes, I sound old. I realize I'm only 29 years old.) are being taught that they shouldn't have to ever put up with anything doesn't make their hearts feel like rainbow colored unicorns are running around pooping skittles onto piles of marshmallows. Modern parenting is creating a generation that's not going to be able to function in society. Your child, who you cater to every need, who you shelter from all things 'evil.' How will this child react when he or she grows into adulthood? 'Debbie' graduates from high school and goes to college. She writes her first paper and meets with her professor about that paper and the professor tells her that it's junk and it will get a failing grade. How will Debbie cope with that if she's always been made to feel that no one should ever make her feel sad, or criticize anything she does? 'Donna' graduates from college and gets a job you know, in the real world. She has to work on a committee to come up with a marketing plan. She shoots out an idea, and it gets immediately turned down. What is she to do? Go home and cry because no one liked her idea? Quit her job because she can't handle rejection? Modern parents, who drop everything all the time to sit and play with the child, who 'needs Join Us On Facebook! Odd Crunch 7.164 Personen gefällt Odd Crunch. Soziales Plug-in von Facebook Gefällt mir Gefällt mir Popular Now: Some Kids Heard Barking On Their Way Home From School. They NEVER Expected To Find This...OMG. Here are 45 Things You Probably Never Knew...But You'll Definitely Want To. Wow It's Just A Comic...But It May Change The Way You Think Forever

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This Young Mom Is Giving Up On Her Kids. Sounds Terrible...But I Think She's Right

Transcript of This Young Mom is Giving Up on Her Kids. Sounds Terrible...but I Think She's Right

  • 04.04.14 OddCrunch

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    This Young Mom Is Giving Up On Her Kids. SoundsTerrible...But I Think She's Right.

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    ThisYoungMomIsGivingUpOnHerKids.SoundsTerrible...ButIThinkShe'sRight.Stephanieisamomoftwokidsandrecentlyhadenough.Shewroteaneyeopeningpublicconfessiononherblog...afterIsawit,Itotallyagreewithher.Shewrites:

    ''WhyMyKidsAreNotTheCenterOfMyWorld

    Wait,whatdidshesay?Yeah,youreadthatright.Thisblogpostisabitofarantandit'sabitallovertheplace.MykidsareNOTthecenterofmyworld,andthat'squitesimplybecausetheyaren'tthecenterofanyworld,anywhere.

    Ifyou'refeelingadventuroustoday,feelfreetoreadon.I'llforewarnyouthough,thispostcontainssubjectmatteraboutwhichIfeelverystrongly.AsaremostemotionallyheatedissuesIsupposeit'scontroversial.Buthey,IfeelhowIfeelandthat'snotgoingtobechanged.

    Theemotionsthatsparkedthisblogpostweregivenalittlebitofasuperchargelastevening.HendrixwaspickingoutwhathewantedtotaketoschoolforShow&Tell.HechosealittleImaginextactionfigureonethathe'shadforabouttwoyearsnow.Withtheactionfigurecomesalittleyellowobject.Forthetwoyearsthathe'shadthistoy,thatyellowobjecthasalwaysbeenadrilltohim.Hegatheredtheactionfigure,themaskthatgoeswithhim,andtheyellowdrillandproudlytoldmehe'dchosenthatforShow&Tell.Then,youcouldseehimthinking.Andhepromptlychangedhismindandsaidtome,'Youknowwhat,Ibetternottakethis.Myteacherwillprobablythinkit'sagun,andthenI'llgetintrouble,'puttheactionfigureback,andchosesomethingelse.

    Ioftenthinkabouttheworldmyboyswillgrowupin.IoftengetangrywhenIthinkaboutit.Thisparticularsituationjustfurtheredthoseemotionsforme.

    Incompletelyselfishterms,bringingmyboysintothisworldwassuchagreatdecisionforme.Theybringmesomuchjoy,theyfillmyheart,theymakemehappy.ButIoftenquestionwhetherornotitwastherightdecisionforthem.Myboysaretypicallittleboys.Theylovetoplayguns.Theylovetoplaygoodguyversusbadguy.Theylovetowrestleandberowdy.That'sthenatureoflittleboys,asithasbeensincethebeginningoftime.

    Howlongwillitbebeforetheirtypicalboyishbehaviorgetsthemsuspendedfromschool?Howlongbeforetheygetsuspendedfromdaycare?Howlongwillitbebeforeoneofthemgetsupsetwithafriend,tellsthatfriendtogoawayandleavethemalone,andsubsequentlygetslabeledasabully?

    Thementalityofoursocietyin2014isnauseatingtome,friends.

    Manyyearsago,therewasatimewhereyoungboyscouldrunaroundwiththeirtoyguns,killingthebadguys.Youcouldtakethetoygunsawayfromthelittleboys,andthey'dfindsomethingelsearoundthemastick,theirfingers,etcandpretenditwasagun.Today,thoselittleboysifcaughtdoingthatarelabeledasthreats,andimmediateactionistakentoremovethatthreatfromthegroup.

    Therewasatimenottoolongagowhenbullyingwasdefinedasslammingsomeoneupagainstalockerandstealingtheirlunchmoney.Therewasatimewhenkidsgotcallednamesandgotpickedon,andtheybrusheditoffandworkedthroughit(askmehowIknowthis).Now,ifSallycallsSusieab*tch(pleaseexcusemylanguageifthatoffendsyou),Susie'swholeworldcrumblesaroundher,shecontemplatessuicide,andthissocietyencourageshertofeellikeherworldtrulyhasended,andsheshouldfeelentitledtoaworldwidepityparty.AndSallyphew!Sheshouldbejailed!Sheshouldbethrowninjuveniledetentionforactinglikegaspateenagegirlacts.

    Modernparentingandthinkingmakesmecrazy.Theyounggenerationsoftoday(yes,Isoundold.IrealizeI'monly29yearsold.)arebeingtaughtthattheyshouldn'thavetoeverputupwithanythingdoesn'tmaketheirheartsfeellikerainbowcoloredunicornsarerunningaroundpoopingskittlesontopilesofmarshmallows.

    Modernparentingiscreatingagenerationthat'snotgoingtobeabletofunctioninsociety.

    Yourchild,whoyoucatertoeveryneed,whoyoushelterfromallthings'evil.'Howwillthischildreactwhenheorshegrowsintoadulthood?'Debbie'graduatesfromhighschoolandgoestocollege.Shewritesherfirstpaperandmeetswithherprofessoraboutthatpaperandtheprofessortellsherthatit'sjunkanditwillgetafailinggrade.HowwillDebbiecopewiththatifshe'salwaysbeenmadetofeelthatnooneshouldevermakeherfeelsad,orcriticizeanythingshedoes?

    'Donna'graduatesfromcollegeandgetsajobyouknow,intherealworld.Shehastoworkonacommitteetocomeupwithamarketingplan.Sheshootsoutanidea,anditgetsimmediatelyturneddown.Whatisshetodo?Gohomeandcrybecausenoonelikedheridea?Quitherjobbecauseshecan'thandlerejection?

    Modernparents,whodropeverythingallthetimetositandplaywiththechild,who'needs

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  • 04.04.14 OddCrunch

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    Modernparents,whodropeverythingallthetimetositandplaywiththechild,who'needsattention,'ordropwhatthey'redoingtohelpthechildthesecondheorshegetsfrustrated?HowisJoeygoingtodealwiththefactthattherewon'tbeanyoneinhisadultlifewho'swillingtostopwhatthey'redoing,stoplivingtheirbusylives,tocatertohiseverywhim?

    HowdoyouthinkBillyisgoingtocopeintherealworld,whenhisbossgiveshimavaguetasktocomplete,andoffersnohelpfulinformationastohowtocompletethistask?Mr.BossiscertainlynotgoingtoholdBilly'shandandhelphimthroughthetask.Mr.BossexpectsittobecompletedbyMonday.HowhasBillybeenpreparedtousehiscriticalthinkingandproblemsolvingskillstobeabletocompletethattask?Hehasn't.

    Icertainlyhopethatthetitleofthisblogpostisstartingtomakesense.Parentswhomaketheirchildrenthecenteroftheiruniversearenotdoinganyoneanyfavors.Obviously,asparents,weloveourchildrenmorethananything.Butdroppingeverythingtocatertotheireveryneedisonlygoingtoleadtoaveryrudeawakeningoncetheyentertherealworld.

    I'mnottellinganyonehowtoparent,andI'mfarfromperfectmyself.Butwhenmykidscan'tfindsomething,Irefusetohelpthemuntilthey'veatleastmadeaconcertedefforttofinditthemselves.Thisisn'tbeingmean,it'steachingthemtoatleastattempttosolveaproblemthemselvesbeforejustgivingupandaskingforhelp.

    WhentheTVgetsturnedoffaftertheallottedtimeontheweekends,mykidsareinstructedtogoplaytogetherintheirroom.Iloveandmissthemduringtheworkweek,butIamnotjustamom,I'malsoMatt'swife,I'malsoStephanie,andIalsorunourhousehold.TherearethingsIhavetogetdone,andmyboysunderstandthat.MychildrenwhileMattandIbothspendtimeplayingwiththemunderstandthattheworlddoesn'tbeginandendwiththem.Thisallowsthemtofindwaystoentertainthemselves,itbuildsimagination,anditteachesthemtogetalongwitheachotherwithoutconstantintervention.

    Wefollowtherulesanddon'ttaketoygunsorweaponstodaycare.ButI'llbedarnedifmyboysaren'tallowedtobelittleboyswhenthey'reathome.Theyhaveseveraltoygunsandit'sconstantlyagoodguyvs.badguybattleinmyhouse.Ifeellikethisteachesthemtodothethingstheywanttodo,whilerespectingother'srulesandregulations.Italsoteachesthemthattherearedifferingopinionsaboutthingsinthisworldandthat'sok.Wecanlikeandbelieveinthethingswewant,whilerespectingthatothersmaynotagreewithus.

    Mychildrenareallbutignoredwhentheyaskforsomethingwithoutusingmanners.Theyunderstandthatwhensomeoneaddressesorspeakstothem,theyaretospeakback.Whenwegoouttoeat,wedon'ttake5electronicdevicestokeepthem'entertained'forthe15minuteswehavetowaitforourfood.IfHendrixis'bored'(andIusethattermloosely),thenhecanputonhisjacketandgoplayoutside.

    Everyoneparentsdifferently,andIrespectthat.Thecurrentgenerationmaybeonethatexpectsnothinglessthaneverythingfromthisworld.ButIknowoftwogentlementhataregoingtobeabletoacceptfailureandmoveonhavinglearnedsomethingfromit.

    Iknowoftwogentlemanwhowillbehurtemotionally,butwhowillbeabletoworkthroughthehurtandcarryonwithlife.Iwillcushiontheemotionalfallasmuchasamomcan,butIwillnotcompletelypreventitfromhappening.Theywillnotexpectwhoeverhurtthemtobepunished.Heck,Imighteventeachmychildrenthepowerofforgiveness.

    Thesetwogentlemenwillunderstandthevalueofhardwork,andknowthathardworkisrequiredtogetwhereonewantstobeinlife.

    Theywill,whileunderstandingtheneedforcaution,appreciatethatnoteveryoneoutthereisouttogetthem.Noteveryoneisouttodoevilthings.

    Thesegentlemenwillunderstandthatthereareaboutagazillionpeopleinthisworld.Whiletheyareincrediblyspecialtomeandmyfamily,theyarenotspecialtotheworld.Thatprobablysoundsterrible,butpeople!It'stheharshtruth,anditneedsembraced!

    IknowthatIcan'tchangethemindsetofmodernparents.That'sneverbeenandneverwillbemygoal.IjustwanttomakesurethatIraisemysonstogrowintorespectablemenwhocanthriveandsucceed,duetohavingbeenpreparedtodoso.

    MykidsarenotthecenterofmyworldbecauseIlovethemenoughnottoallowthemtobe.''

    YoumaylovewhatyouwroteoryoumayhatewhatshewrotebutIadmireherbraveryforspeakinghermindaboutwhatshebelievesinforherselfandherfamily.Iknownotallofyouwillagreebutitsaninterestingandinsightfulviewpoint.

    IfyouwereinspiredbyStephanie'swords,pleasesharethiswithafriendtoday.

  • 04.04.14 OddCrunch

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    This Young Mom Is Giving Up On Her Kids. SoundsTerrible...But I Think She's Right.

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    Reid Flindt-Jacobsen Hodd tender at Allen's Masonry Companythe title of this "This Young Mom Is Giving Up On Her Kids. Sounds Terrible...But IThink She's Right." is so off base its unreal. great article but the person whoreposted it is a fucking idiot.Reply Like Follow Post March 30 at 2:29am

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    Dan Rios Top Commenter UConnIt's just a title that's meant to mislead you so you're more likely to clickon it. Rather irritating if you ask me.Reply Like March 31 at 11:59pm55

    Juanita Sullivan Top Commenter Prizm AviationThe title is perfect because it gets you to read it. This mother is doing forher kids what more parents should be doing. She is trying to drive homea point and the article does a great job of that.Reply Like April 1 at 4:22am168

    Seth Schaub Thousand Islands Secondary Schoolyou are just saying that its not real reid because you probly think youshould allow your kid to get away with anything.. you don't know if thisblog is real or not you haven't searched it.. or you would most likely findit or something very similar.. not all young adults think that there kidshould get everything and then they are stuck up brats that just yell andscream to get there parents attention so when they get to high schoolsomeone will push them down even if they push others down inelementary school because they will be weaker then the ones that learnfrom the hardship of lifeReply Like April 1 at 8:17am20

    Elvisfan Harb Top CommenterOne thing that upsets me in the bullying issue is that we see that bullying kids as anormal part of growing up and I totally disagree with that..we need to start teachingour kids when they are young that bullying is wrongit should not be accepted as anormal part of growing upsome kids are not born with a quick tongue..some kidsare more sensitive than others and dislike confrontation..that is okaywe need tostart teaching our kids when they are young that in diversity there is beauty andthere is strength.Reply Like Follow Post Edited March 30 at 9:50am121

    Hamzeh Qreini Garden Associate at The Home Depot

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  • 04.04.14 OddCrunch

    www.oddcrunch.com/young-mother-giving-up/0 4/5

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    Hamzeh Qreini Garden Associate at The Home Depoti think what the article means is that if one kid teases another that callsfor suspension. in our day that was normal not everyone will likeeveryone and things like that dont need to be made into bigger deals toprotect our children from. bullying of a more intense form is different butname calling is a normal form of bullying.Reply Like March 30 at 1:31pm29

    Matt Stephens Top Commenter Mid Kent College GillinghamHamzeh Qreini Yeah but really hardcore teasing can be very damagingemotionally. I agree that if it's mild, purely jokey or as we say in englandbanter then yeah you need to learn to cope with that for sure.Reply Like March 30 at 2:47pm11

    Eleanor French PerthHamzeh Qreini, you state that "name calling is a normal form of bullying".Are you saying that name calling is fine? Or that certain forms of bullingare acceptable?Reply Like March 30 at 3:33pm3

    Cyndi Culbert Top Commenter Owner at Owner Great North ArrowNewspaperI would love to get in touch with this brilliant young woman, WHO IS IN TOUCH!Stephanie if you are reading this please send me a note [email protected] Like Follow Post April 1 at 8:41am

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    Alisha McIsaachttp://themetzfamilyadventures.blogspot.ca/Reply Like April 2 at 3:18am2

    Ashley Shelley BarrieI love this, glad you posted it Cyndi.Reply Like April 2 at 5:55am6

    Patrick Edmundson Works at Laurentian UniversityMe too. Stephanie, you are a realist in every sense of the word. I agreewith you more than you could know. [email protected] Like April 2 at 8:48am13

    Brent Malloy Top Commenter Softwareentwickler at CogsdaleCorporation

    Ok, agree on the gun thing. So stupid.

    Disagree on the bullying thing (and don't worry mom, schools never do anythingabout bullies anyway, too buys chasing the boogeymen from the gun example). Notto mention her example is extreme and in no way how most people feel. I know whatshe's getting at, but I don't like how she seems to be dismissing the very real effectsof bullying. It is NOT acceptable.

    And I agree that kids are overprotected and less able to cope with failure or badthings. This is a very real problem, well documented. And no, this doesn't contradictmy stance on bullying.Reply Like Follow Post March 31 at 12:18am

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    Bernice HarringtonNo one is stopping her kids from playing gun-related games at home.Sleeping and chewing gum are also normal childhood behaviors, but kidsaren't allowed to do them at school.Reply Like April 2 at 9:09am13

    Christine Peters-Thompson Coaldale, AlbertaThe problem with Bullying now a days is that we have way to broad of adefinition of what actually constitutes bullying. My 12 year old son getsaccused of bullying by a teacher for throwing the ball too hard at theother team during a game of dodgeball in gym class. How ridiculous isthat. Is it not the point of dodgeball to hit the players on the other team.Can he help the fact that he is stronger than the other players. Today wereally are way to sensitive and are raising way to sensitive children. Youcan't always get what you want in life and you have to learn how dealwith rejection. The only ones who really truly get what they want are thebullies (politicians, lawyers).Reply Like Yesterday at 3:00am13

    Kathryn Parker Banquet/Office Manager at Harry's Steak HouseI think the point the author was getting at is we are encouraging ouryouth to take everything to heart and to be overly sensitive to whatothers say. No it is not acceptable to be aggressive to other kids. No,picking on other kids is not alright, but what is more important is to teachthese kids to brush things off and to not be so devastated by snideremarks that teenagers make. She is pointing out that by being so overprotective as parents and coddling kids we are depriving them thestruggles that teach coping skills, problem solving skills, ethics, andcritical thinking skills, just to name a few. Those same struggles...failuresand successes, also teach kids to be driven, to work past their barriers, tocompromise... the list goes on. We need to focus more on buildingcharacter in out children rather than giving them a false sense onentitlement that has become all too common in young people these days.Reply Like Yesterday at 9:54am30

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    Christa Price PHCCI admit I thought that was going to be a different kind of story. The title threw me offbut it got me to look at it so....Well done!! I agree totally with the mother on this. Ihave a nine year old and I'll admit he has video games but they are not the center ofhis universe he still goes out and plays and has manners.Reply Like Follow Post March 30 at 7:42am26

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