The Wake, Issue 6, Fall 2013
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Transcript of The Wake, Issue 6, Fall 2013
TurtleKing Longboards p. 4
Superheros of Science p. 6
Q&A: Dan Murphy p. 10-11
vol. 13 | issue 6December 16 - January 21
ProductionProduction Manager Sondra Vine Graphic Designers Sondra Vine, Eric Berry, Kelsey Schwartz, Brittany Long Art Director Sam Lindsay Social Media Manager Kelcie McKenney Web Editor Sam Gordon Web Assistant Brittany Long Staff Writers Nathaniel Kitzman, Ethan Lauer Business Manager Cooper Henckel Distributors Shawna Stennes Nesteen Param
EditorialEditor-in-Chief Alyssa Bluhm
Managing Editor Justin Miller Cities Editor Grace Birnstengel Voices Editor Bruce Ferguson Sound & Vision Editor Sara Glesne Courtney Bade
This IssueCover Artist Lauren Cutshall (Front), Eric Berry (Back)
Photographers
Lauren Cutshall, Shresyasi, Gadgill, Dahsol Lee, Kristen Wangsness Illustrators
Eric Berry, Dan Forke, Sam Lindsay, Brittany Long, Peter Mariutto, Lianna Matt, Peter Whiteman, Jennifer Yelk Contributing Writers
Alyssa Bluhm, Aaron Bolton, Lauren Cutshall, Blair Emerson, Kirsten Erickson, Herbert B. Ferguson-Augustus, Shresyasi, Gadgill, Sara Glesne, Jerod Greenisen, Nader Helmy, Cooper Henckle, Ethan Lauer, Dahsol Lee, Lianna Matt, Luke Michaels, Cora Neisen, Zach Simon, N. D. Theis, Time-Twister, Alex Van Abbema, Kristen Wangsness
13:6
DISCLAIMERthe purpose of the Wake is to provide a forum in which students can voice their opinions. opinions expressed in the magazine are not representative of the publication or university as a whole. to join the conversation email [email protected].
©2013 The Wake Student Magazine. All rights reserved.
Established in 2002, The Wake is a fortnightly independent magazine and registered student organization produced by and for the students of the University of Minnesota.
The Wake Student Magazine 126 Coffman Memorial Union 300 Washington Avenue SE Minneapolis, MN 55455
www.wakemag.org
The Wake was founded byChris Ruen and James DeLong.The Wake is published with support from
Generation Progress/Center for American Progress (online at www.genprogress.org).
Whats Inside?TurtleKind Longboards p. 4 Journalist: An All-American Superhero p. 4
Photo Poll: Superhero Students p. 5
Superheros of Science p. 6
Black Friday Blasphemy p. 7Trouble Over China Seas? p. 7
The Man and the Mentor p. 8The Wake Covers The Wake & The Wake p. 8 Staying Green or Mining Gold p. 9 The New Minnesota Beatles Project p. 9 Q&A: Dan Murphy p. 10-11
3 Reviews p. 12
Can't get enough of The Wake?
Twitter: @the_wake
Facebook: /TheWakeMagazine
Wake-Mag.tumblr.com
BIZZARO
Better Than Fan Art p. 4
Covered by the Affordable Care Act p. 5Knight in Shining Spandex p. 5
Fantastic Four Assassinate Wrong Doom p. 6
Patrick's Guide to World Domination p. 7Eight Arms Are Better Than Two p. 7
Keeping Up With the Times p. 8Superman Joins AARP p. 8
Superhero Tweets p. 9
The Wake Origins p. 10-12
Dear Wakies,
I know that you’re probably reading this for one of two reasons: a) you’re celebrating the end of another (or a first) semester at the U, or b) you’re procrastinating. Either way, I want you to know, it’s totally alright. We’re just glad you found your way to The Wake.
Whether you’re treading in heavy ac-ademic waters right now or awaiting your plane ride home, we’ve got you covered. From reflections on the bor-derline brutal madness of Black Friday to a peak into a sci-fi comic book that could well be our namesake, this is-sue should have something for you in your time of mentally-drained need.
Now that it’s the end of the semes-ter, and of 2013, just remember the importance of taking things in one at a time. While your professors and TAs might be rushing you through the “last sprint” (why the hell was this the first semester I heard that phrase and why did I hear it from almost all my professors?!), we’re certainly not.
Oh yeah, and if you’re not into the whole reality thing right now because it’s too stressful, flip this copy over and drown yourself in some superhe-ro antics and comic-inspired design.
Cheers,
Sara Glesne
Sound & Vision Editor
4. december 16 - january 21
Cities
Giving back more than just a long board Lauren Cutshall
While turtles have always been known for their longevity and
chill attitudes, the same can be said about the local company,
TurtleKing Long Boards. What started as a simple start up by
two University of Minnesota students, Drew Swanson and Phil-
lip Kelly, soon became much more as they began to design and
produce their own long boards.
The company, which is committed to creating a long last-
ing board, adds to the culture of campus life by providing
students with the opportunity
to support a local business
and be more environmentally
conscious. “[Our boards] are
made to be durable and to
last,” said Swanson. “And just
by you riding it and experienc-
ing it, you’re going to be more
healthy.”
Attributing a significant portion
of the business’s success to the
university resources and available opportunities, Swanson said,
“The U has been a really great support network.” As TurtleKing
made its presence known by applying for grants and participat-
ing in contests, they received continuous encouragement from
the university.
Since their start up, the company has grown to incorporate
more than just long boards. Earlier in 2013, TurtleKing ex-
panded to include internships, youth programs, and business
learning opportunities for the Cedar Riverside Community.
Over the summer, business accounting and graphic design
workshops were offered to the community while two student
interns were taken on through the program Step Up Achieve
Minneapolis. The youth program provided several high school
students with the opportunity to design, build, and ride their
own long boards. They went through the creative process,
learned the computer program used to design their own board,
and were able to eventually press and construct their own
boards. Students learned aspects of graphic design in addi-
tion to the skills of using Computer Numeric Control, or CNC
machine. These new skills provided students with an in-demand
technical background they can use professionally.
The future of TurtleKing lies in the expansion of the company.
Swanson hopes to see the business adopt to the non-profit
sector, allowing them to continue youth programs, skills
workshops, and possibly a CNC machine certification program.
As they expand their presence on the U of M campus, TurtleK-
ing wants to make their workshop more of a design space to
foster creativity. “The goal is to create this space where people
can come in, and have ideas and kind of use the long board as a
canvas,” said Swanson.
Ultimately, TurtleKing Long Boards is continuing with the
non-profit plan of providing a business that gives back
more than just a product—but also important lifelong and
professional skills.
By Blair Emerson
Journalist: genius-level intelligence, master of disguise, super detective, skilled in deductive reasoning, enhanced speed and stamina, superhuman strength, agility, and endurance. Okay, so a few of these are made up, but have you ever noticed just how many journalists are depicted in comic books? The list goes on and on from the almighty Superman himself, a foreign affairs reporter, to the web-slinging Peter Parker, a photojournalist who takes some crazy selfies. Even Captain Marvel was a broadcaster for WHIZ Radio and the Green Hornet was a publisher at the Daily Sentinel.
You might ask, why journalists?
Why are such simple storytellers created with alter egos that help save the world? To start, journalists are at the forefront of every story. They sometimes come face-to-face with unspeakable dangers in order to seek truth and report it to the public. They are democracy defenders, armed with the first-right amendment to defend the voiceless. The Society of Professional Journalists (SPJ) states in their mission that
journalists are “dedicated to the perpetuation of a free press as the cornerstone of our nation and our liberty.” Both journal-ists and superheroes work to protect the public from injustices. In the comic books they use superpowers, but in real life, journalists use the power of the pen to fight corruption and wrongdoing. And many Pulitzer Prize-winning journalists will concur; you really can make a difference with your words. While journal-ists can’t actually bench press 5.972 sextillion metric tons or run faster than the speed of light, they are able to make the public heard through their words.
Journalists aren’t actual superheroes—or are they?
What if journalists were accurately portrayed in comics? Would it be interesting? I’ll tell you right now, sitting on this couch with my cats, a laptop, and a Chinese take-out box, I don’t feel much like a superhero. I don’t think I could go
save the universe right now in my PJ’s. But, then again, you don’t need to have superpowers to save the
world. Journalists are superheroes too. They may not all work in a newsroom like the
Daily Planet or wear spandex leotards underneath their clothes, but we all bust our butts to bring
hard-hitting news to the public. In Superman Volume 3, Issue 13, Su-
perman quits his job at the newspa-per in an attempt to reinvent his image
as a blogger. In his passion-filled resigna-tion speech, he sheds light on the true job
of a journalist that could bring any journalist to tears:
“Growing up in Smallville, I believed that journalism was an ideal, as worthy and important as being a cop or fireman—a teacher or a doctor. I was taught to believe you could use words to change the course of rivers—that even the dark-est secrets would fall under the harsh light of the sun. But facts have been replaced by opinions. Information has been replaced by entertainment. Reporters have become stenog-raphers. I can’t be the only one who is sick at the thought of what passes for news today. I am not the only one who believes in the power of the press—the fact that we need to stand up for the truth. For justice. And yeah—I’m not ashamed to say it—the American Way!”
Journalist: An All-American SuperheroWith great power comes great responsibility
TurtleKing Long Boards
LIANNA MATT
LUA
REN
CU
TSH
ALL
www.wakemag.org 5.
CITIES
Major: Astrophysics
Superpower: Ability to run at the speed of light, time travel, and vibrate molecules to walk through matter.
Kid Flash would take over the world by going back in time and taking Hit-ler’s place. Using the knowledge of how history unfolds, Kid Flash would use power and opportunities differ-ently than Hitler to seize power over the whole world and fix it instead of killing people.
Major: Global Studies and Envi-ronmental Studies
Superpower: Flying
Bird B**** does not want to take over the world, she would only use her powers selfishly.
Major: Political Science and History
Superpower: Manipulating time, add-ing hours to the day, etc.
Chronos would take over the world because, as Napoleon Bonaparte once said, “If you want something done right, do it yourself.” Chronos would use his superpower of manipulating time to change the course of each day so that no one but he would achieve significant academic success. He would start his own business and similarly ma-nipulate the schedule and time to profit only him. He would acquire incredible wealth, then move on to conquer-ing Wall Street and beyond until he eventually controlled the economy, the education system, politics—everything.
Major: Biology
Superpower: To go back in time to relive events and stay 21 forever.
Felion would not take over the world, she would simply use her powers to go back and do things she missed out on, change situations she regrets, and help others where she did not before.
Major: Chemical Engineering
Superpower: Mind reading
Voltron would take over the world by using secrets gleaned by reading the minds of important people and terrorists.
Major: Studies in Cinema and Media Culture
Superpower: Telekinesis, invis-ibility, and ability to fly on a disc.
Malgenta would not want to take over the world. Instead, she would use her powers to anonymously save people like Batman does.
Major: Pre-Dental School
Superpower: Time travel
The Clock would conquer the world by going forward in time where he be-lieves power will be more centralized.
Major: International Business
Superpower: Flying
Superwoman would conquer the world by impressing everyone with her superpowers so that they elect her president. She would then fly to other nations and assassinate all other presidents.
John Cowle - Kid Flash
Vitor Milagres - voltonmelanie featherstone -
malgenta
david sundaram - The clock
Kaitlin nelsom - bird b****
noah hummel-hall - chronos
Shayna Ho - felion
rebecca shaffer - superwomen
Student SuperherosPhotos By: Shresyasi Gadgill, Kristen Wangsness
6. december 16 - january 21
Cities
It is without question that science is a driving force in many
comic books. Mad scientists and scientific phenomena are
commonly used to expand upon and drive the plot in many
comic books. After all, where would Tony Stark and his Iron
Man be without Stark’s engineering expertise? Spiderman’s
nemesis, Dr. Octopus, would fail to exist without his back-
ground in nuclear physics.
But how much of the phenomena and personalities presented
are actually accurate? To create a more dynamic story, many
exaggerations of what is scientifically possible are made.
So if the characters in comic books are indeed “carica-
tures” of actual scientists’ personalities, exaggerated for
fictional purposes, what do real scientists look like? What
research do they conduct?
The University of Minnesota is known for its high standings
in research, ranking within the top 25 research universities
in the nation annually and ranking eighth in 2011 in the Na-
tional Science Foundation’s list of Top 20 Public Research
Institutions. These figures should come as no surprise, with
almost 3,000 distinguished faculty members conducting
research on campus.
Unlike the anti-social recluses seen in comic books, the sci-
ence professors here at the U work to integrate undergradu-
ate and graduate students alike into the research process.
Along with teaching, these professors strive to be innovators
with research. So, in some respect, they are superheroes in
their respective fields.
“Science is never the final answer,” Silflow said. “It’s the steps along the way.
Professor Vuk Mandic studies experimental cosmology and
astrophysics. His current topic of research is dark matter,
which he investigates through an experiment called Cryogenic
Dark Matter Search (CDMS). This experiment uses detectors
made out of a crystal of germanium or silicon to measure the
response of when dark matter particles come and hit the crys-
tals. This whole system is isolated as much as possible from
outside radiations that may interfere by being placed in an
underground mine in northern Minnesota, and shielded with
lead and polyethylene to suppress the ambient background.
The discovery of dark matter itself would imply the exis-
tence of physics beyond the standard model we already
know (with electrons and quarks), and questions of how
this new type of particle would fit into our existing knowl-
edge of the standard model would surface.
“Discovery of dark matter would give insight into both
the physics of elementary particles and the formation and
evolution of the universe,” said Mandic. As he studies dark
matter, he aims to understand how the universe changed
over time, and how dark matter interacted with the par-
ticles of the standard model before they split into the halo
forms that are present today.
Meanwhile in St. Paul, plant biologist Carolyn Silflow delves
into the investigation of centrioles—the structures that
assemble cilia and flagella in cells. Silflow uses green algal
cells, as they have not changed and evolved very much over
time, to gather information about the structure and func-
tion of centrioles. Though this research is very basic, Silflow
predicts her research will be applied to understand human
diseases that affect cilia. “Science is never the final answer,”
she said. “it’s the steps along the way.”
From the Department of Neuroscience, Dr. Robert Meisel
is researching aggression using a female animal model. By
testing these behaviors in hamsters and examining them on
neurobiological and molecular levels, Meisel is working to
disprove the claim that males are the only aggressive gender.
“Anyone who’s gone to high school knows that girls can be
aggressive,” Meisel said, laughing. Males and females, whether
they are rats or humans, will both exhibit aggressive behavior,
but in different circumstances. This is due to the differences in
neurobiology in evolutionary processes of the two genders.
Why does this differentiation in gender matter? Meisel
applies his research to not only understanding aggressive be-
havior, but treating it as well. As medication for violent and
aggressive behavior targets only the male neurobiological
mechanisms, other methods of therapy must be established
to assist females with such problems as well.
Ultimately, the questions that are attempted to be
answered here at the University of Minnesota are not
only reflections of current scientific interests, but look to
creating a better future through developments in under-
standing, technology, and medicine.
Note: these professionals do not work alone. Like the mem-
bers of the Fantastic Four work together to save the world,
scientists also work in teams to complement each other’s
strengths and weaknesses. They not only collaborate with
their own department, but with others from the interna-
tional science community. It is this cooperation, combined
with their individual contributions that make these scientists
truly super.
Superheroes of ScienceInsight into UMN Research and its championsBy Dahsol Lee
DAHSOL LEE
www.wakemag.org 7.
Trouble over China Seas? Obama’s “Asian Pivot” and the TPPBy N. D. Theis
These days the University of Minnesota boasts about more
than 3,000 scholars from the “Greater China area” and Presi-
dent Eric Kaler swims in a $110 million bath of their tuition
fees. But while Kaler extends an open hand to China, Obama
offers only a closed fist… and B-52s.
The U.S. is growing more hostile to China on a political level.
Yet as a tender, corn-fed Midwestern college boy, I’ve made
nothing but friends with my Chinese colleagues and room-
mates. Since when are the Chinese or enemies?
Speaking to a group of U.S. corporate executives in China
about an American aircraft doing training exercises in China’s
new no-fly zone late last month, Joe Biden said, “The United
States has a profound stake in what happens [in the Pacific]
because we need—and we are—and will remain a pacific
power diplomatically, economically, and militarily…”
So what does the Obama administration have up its sleeve?
They are going to “pivot to Asia,” in the Obama administration’s
terms. This means focusing more atten-
tion on the Asian Pacific: sending our mili-
tary resources there as we pull out of the Middle
East. The U.S. is currently building new military bases along the
Pacific rim. For instance, one is currently under construction
on the Jeju Island, lying directly south of the Korean peninsula
despite the protests of Jeju’s indigenous people.
Some argue Obama’s Asian Pivot policy is nothing more than
an attempt to “contain” China or improve Sino-American rela-
tions. An expensive and destructive policy nevertheless...
Because militarization may not suffice,
a divisive trade agreement is also be-
ing cooked up in the crack-kitchens
of corporate lawyers: the
Trans-Pacific Partnership. The
TPP breaches civil liberties on
almost every imaginable front. It
would restrict internet freedoms,
eliminate generic drugs and drive
up the prices of pharmaceuti-
cals, and lay down provisions for
international corporate tribunals
under which corporations can sue
countries for potential profit-loss due to
environmental laws.
It’s NAFTA on steroids. The United States is among the 14
signatory or negotiating TPP countries, and China is not.
What is this craziness!? The Chinese are our friends! Instead
of wasting America’s resources on pointless controversies
over world power, why not partner with China? As Ameri-
cans, we have lot more to gain from the Chinese than their
tuition dollars—and a lot more to lose than airspace.
PETER WHITEMAN
VOICESWith this year’s Black Friday events bordering on uncontrol-
lable, something has to be done.
Black Friday is crazier than ever. Just this year, a Walmart
employee was injured during sales, a Black Friday related
shooting occurred in a Kohl’s in Illinois, and a shopper car-
rying a television home was shot in Las Vegas. Stores were
open earlier than ever before (Target opened at 8 p.m., and
many other stores opened on Thanksgiving Day), further
turning Thanksgiving into a consumerist holiday.
With longer store hours than ever, strong violence affecting
stores, and employees and shoppers losing out on family
time, something should be done about Black Friday.
South Park aired a three part miniseries showing rabid shop-
pers having deadly melees at a deal-heavy Black Friday store.
It sends a message in regards to Black Friday violence.
We are becoming more aware of the Black Friday epidemic,
and these episodes exhibit just how absurd it has become. In
a Black Friday environment, brutal competition is inevitable,
as people seem to disregard the humanity of others all in
the sake of getting a good deal. For starters, retailers could
shorten their hours on Black Friday, and allow families to
spend more time with each other on Thanksgiving weekend.
Black Friday Blasphemy According to a recent Huffington Post survey, 63 percent of
people believe that stores should be closed on Thanksgiving.
Also, the earlier hours make it so employers have to go to
work earlier on Thanksgiving to deal with unruly crowds and
miss out on time with their family. Shortened hours mean
less chance of injury, and allow employers to also spend a bit
more time at home before having to head off to work. Sure
it might hurt sales a bit, but it’s well worth it for a store’s
integrity to promote community over consumerism.
Mostly, people should choose to stay home on Thanks-
giving weekend and seek out deals on Cyber Monday.
Websites such as Amazon.com and other retailer websites
like Walmart.com offer many of the same deals that you
see at other stores..
This allows the shopper to enjoy a real holiday weekend
with their family, and end up with some good deals without
being trampled to death. For the sake of shopper and
employee safety, as well as the integrity of Thanksgiving, it
would be nice to see some retailers promote Cyber Monday
sales over Black Friday.
This year a man actually got stabbed in a fight over a Walmart
parking space. Is this our idea of a happy holiday?
Alex Van Abbema
8. december 16 - january 21
VOICESThe Man and the MentorHerbert B. Ferguson-Augustus
A man was released from Victor Verster Prison in South
Africa on Feb. 2, 1990. The world had changed for South
Africa. The country, in its determination to preserve
the apartheid system, had become a pariah state, faced
a stagnating economy and civil unrest nationwide. The
international community heralded the man, who was con-
sidered a political rogue at the time of his imprisonment,
as a hero and champion of equality. Backed by the world
over and facing a South African government, besieged
on all sides, he could so easily topple the government,
champion Black Nationalism, expel whites, and still walk
away as president.
The strange thing was, after enduring thirty years of incar-
ceration, he chose not to.
However, he was once a different man. He was a college
student, and as the only black African college student on
campus, he was alone. When he first joined the African
National Congress or ANC in 1943, he rejected a racially
united front as a means to take down the apartheid sys-
tem. He supported his mentor, Anton Lambede, when he
banned communism from the ANC. Later, he would force
the resignation C.S. Ramohanoe, an ANC regional presi-
dent for cooperating with Indian and communist political
groups. Following the death of his mentor, however, the
man gained a pragmatism that supplanted his ideology
and led him to embrace communists, Indians, Europeans,
and white South Africans in the struggle against the apart-
heid system.
His pragmatism endured. It withstood the Suppression
of Communism Act in 1952, when he and his colleagues
were arrested and jailed for protesting peacefully. It even
held fast for 30 years during his subsequent incarceration.
So many other African leaders had abandoned that prag-
matism. By the time the man was released from prison,
Robert Mugabe had already secured control of Zimbabwe
after leading a violent uprising. Similarly, Joaquim Chissano,
a FRELIMO general, had achieved the presidency after the
Portuguese had been expelled from Mozambique. The same
occurred in Angola, where Jose Eduardo dos Santos, a fel-
low communist, was now fighting against political rivals for
control of the nation. Namibia achieved independence by the
same means under Sam Nujoma of SWAPO, a political and
military organization. Every other nation in southern Africa,
excluding Botswana, had achieved either racial integration
and/or independence through violent revolution.
However, the ex-convict did not embrace such action. He
stripped his political stance of its racial and communist
undertones during negotiations with South African President
Frederik Willem de Klerk. He would go on to take De Klerk
as his deputy president when he won national elections in
1994. He neither expropriated land as Mugabe and Nujoma
did, nor did he try to squash opposition as Dos Santos had
tried. His policies of national reconciliation were moderate
and arguably unsuccessful in curtailing the disparity between
blacks and whites. Still, he became the father of a nation
because he was a moderate, because he was willing to adapt
to the changing times and put ideology aside.
he resisted the temptation to lash out at the system that had so abused him, to give into partisan politics, and oppress his former oppressors
Nelson Mandela died on Dec. 5, 2013. He was an outsider, his
ideology dictated by a life besieged by oppression and segre-
gation. Did he defeat those forces? Looking at South Africa’s
stagnating economy, skyrocketing crime rate, and income
disparity–one of the highest in the world–many would say no.
However, he resisted the temptation to lash out at the system
that had abused him, to give into partisan politics, and to op-
press his former oppressors. He could have done all this and
won; he chose not to.
His struggle is our struggle.
The Wake Covers the Wake and The Wake: Two comics that share their names with this magazineBy Lianna Matt
Known at the University of Minnesota’s campus as the won-
derful biweekly magazine that it is, The Wake Magazine also
shares its name with two different comic books. Started in
1998, the French comic Sillage has its first issues translated
in English (giving it the title, Wake), but after its tenth issue
in 2007, the more or less yearly issues have stayed in their
original French. As for the other comic, The Wake, it comes
from a much more known publisher: Vertigo, an imprint of
DC Comics.
Scott Snyder and Sean Murphy’s The Wake shouldn’t be as
foreign and exploratory as Sillage (it takes place here on
earth) but apparently all we needed to find the horror of
science fiction was to look to the Arctic Circle’s waters. USA
Today Comics gave its readers a sneak peek of the first issue
a while ago, and even though it ends with marine biologist
Lee Archer meeting the Homeland Security agent–not even
touching on the mysterious thing lurking in the depths–the
informal introduction to her personality and the crisp art
makes the reader want more.
In its first issue of Sillage, the readers meet Nävis, the only
human survivor of a space ship crash. As she meets the an-
tagonist of the issue, Madjestic, who wants to terra-form her
planet, her personality changes from carefree and happy to
angry, determined, and slightly ignorant when she sees the
aliens land. Unfortunately, these are the only two facets of
her personality that the reader sees, creating a lack of char-
acter depth. While the premise of an outsider thrust into a
(literally) alien world makes the reader keep reading, Nävis’s
interactions with the aliens from the Wake do not offer any-
thing new, right down to the ever-convenient guide (in the
form of the watcher) to explain everything to the reader.
However, the comic has the righteous themes that readers
cannot help but like. Nävis, in one of the few times she is
not yelling at Madjestic, delivers a dramatic sermon about
individual, intrinsic value and choice. This was undermined
by the snowball effect that occurred in her audience, but it
was an effort to give Nävis more character. Not seen in this
first installment, the series depicts a society where the mind
controllers control half the population that the reader ex-
plores. Because of these hints to a deeper significance rather
than a shallow, formulaic space adventure, Sillage is worth
reading for at least one more issue.
While the two comics have begun over a decade apart–
The Wake had released its first in May–and have different
stories, they share a motif of discovery. And so does The
Wake Magazine. So after this issue of the magazine, pick up
a comic book and find the curiosity and interest in another
world that school beat out of you during the semester.
www.wakemag.org 9.
Sound & VisionStaying Green or Mining GoldThe Duluth Complex is under stakeBy Jerod Greenisen
The Duluth Complex is a plot of land that stretches about
150 miles from Duluth to Canada. Superior National Forests,
connects to Lake Superior and features thousands of lakes. It
also has a treasure trove of precious metals. Investors from
as far as the Gulf of Mexico and Switzerland are strapping up
for another environmental plunder.
One of the companies making competitive bids for min-
ing rights is GlencoreXstrata, a Swiss company with Tony
Hayward at helm. Hayward commanded British Petroleum
through its big oil spill a few years back and now wants to
test his metal in Minnesota.This area of our state has long
been contested and sought after for its minerals. As far back
as the founding of Minnesota, one could find records of rich
mineral deposits along the shores of Lake Superior. The only
issue with extracting the minerals back then had been objec-
tions from the residents. At this time, Minnesota was the
frontier of westward expansion and the home of many First
Nations tribes with thriving coniferous forests and pristine
waters. However, as soon as industry got a taste for the dirt,
mining was swift and change was drastic.
Today however, the mines and refineries of northeastern
Minnesota have been closed down for almost a generation,
allowing the environment to become a main tourist at-
traction that bolsters the economy. The forests, sea caves,
rivers, lakes, and wildlife pull in visitors from around the
Midwest and showcase the best of the Great Lakes region.
Still, modern technology has the extraction of the region’s
metals possible once again. The area, looking like it did
100 years ago, has become ripe for the pillage. Or so many
environmentalists would like you to think, and many media
organizations would love tell you.
Regardless of whether or not the former BP executive is now
on the board of a company looking at Minnesota, this does not
mean that The Duluth Complex will be the site of the next en-
vironmental catastrophe or even within the grasp of companies
like GlencoreXtrata. This is because Minnesota’s economy has
changed and we have taken many difficult steps to ensure the
best environmental policy in the nation. The area has some of
the richest copper-nickel deposits on the planet. Should it be
decided that mining is the best way to boost to the economy,
The New Minnesota Beatles Project Vol. 5The End of an EraBy Aaron Bolton
The fifth installment of the Minnesota Beatle Project was
released on Dec. 3, marking a strong end to the beloved local
compilation project. The Minnesota Beatle Project has used
the Beatles timeless music and persistent popularity to raise
money for Minnesota music education in high schools across
the state. It also adds a quality Minnesotans love… it’s local! It
has showcased a plethora of bands with Minnesotan roots and
even middle school and high school bands that have benefited
from its proceeds. Still, all good things must come to an end
and only so many bands can rework Beatles tunes.
“I felt that the project has blossomed into maturity from both
a creative and philanthropic standpoint,” executive Director of
the project, Mark Gehring, told MPR’s The Current.
This will be the fifth and final installment. While this project
does a whole lot of good for music here in Minnesota, it has
come to a satisfactory point to end the series for Vega Pro-
ductions. Both Gehring and Vega have set their sights
on expanding the projects charitable reach. With the ending
of the project here in Minnesota, they are developing a
national project with the same idea in mind: introduce
people to good bands and provide the youth with quality
music education. More information on the project will be
released in 2014.
Still that fact is all good things must come to an end and only so many bands can rework Beatles tunes
What does this mean for the local funding this series has giv-
en? The final installment will continue to contribute the vital
support the series has provided for the past four years. While
the new project will only expand its reach, Vega Productions
and presenting sponsor 89.3 The Current have shown their
resourcefulness to combat this lack of funding here and, in
the future, nationally. They have displayed what powerful
music can do when backed by a great community.
The community has been behind the project and made this
unique approach to fill funding gaps for music education
possible. This year’s notable track listing includes Grammy
award winners Okee Dokee Brothers, Carroll who have been
called “Best New Band 2013” by City Pages, Cactus Blos-
soms, and many more. Vega Productions stated that there
will be limited copies of Vol. 5: only 5,000 CDs, and 500 180-
gram vinyl copies. This series has come to the end of its road
but has opened many doors for music students and bands
alike here in Minnesota. People have fallen in love with the
project for its new Beatles covers, the local bands it displays
and the music education support it has provided. This is the
end of one journey but the beginning of a bigger one.
MINNESOTA BEATLE PROJECT FACEBOOK PAGE
get ready to see competitive bids and destruction of the local
fauna and flora. Minnesota could just back away, leaving the area
intact but forsaking the economic boom mining would bring.
It’s not a simple situation. Minnesota has the most to lose,
and the most to gain. But should things stay the same, it
all remains intact and just as beautiful as ever. Minnesotans
need to come to the table to decide.
SAM LINDSAY
10. december 16 - december 29
Q&A
By Sara Glesne
Making art has been second nature to Dan Murphy for most
of his life. He finds inspiration in some unlikely places, such as
catalogues of mug shots, but also in some more common ones,
like regulars at his work and coffee shop strangers.
Right now, Murphy is working on a nightmarish comic called
Elle Cirka that he hopes to eventually publish as a graphic
novel.
In spite of the haunting panels that make up the first chapters
so far of Elle Cirka, Murphy is a pretty upbeat guy who just
seems grateful that he’s able to make art and music most days.
For our comic book issue, The Wake sat down and talked with
him about his comic influences and what advice he has for
aspiring illustrators.
The Wake: When did you get started making art?
Dan: In late elementary school, I just read a lot of Calvin
and Hobbes, The Far Side, Peanuts. I was kind of a shy kid,
so drawing was kind of a way to make friends and to have
something interesting about me to meet people. And it was
something I was good at and people would ask me to draw
things for them. I was kind of known for that. For most of
my grade school and junior high and high school I remember
the art classes more than anything else. Everything else is
kind of faded. And then I went to art school and that was
kind of where I was fully able to be around other people like
me. I think elementary school was where I first got that bug
to do it.
The Wake: Now that you’re out of school, how do you find
inspiration for your art?
Dan: All sorts of places. I work in a used book store and so
I’m surrounded with interesting books. I love books and I
own just tons of them myself. And I also play in a band. I love
music, so that’s another way to keep my mind vivid with
sounds and music and just creative endeavors. I balance be-
tween both music and art. Even just with the world around
me, just enjoying drawing in coffee shops. I love drawing
people, there are just so many different types. So that’s one
big inspiration.
The Wake: So, what projects are you working on right now?
Dan: I’m working on a series of books called Elle Cirka. Right
Q&A with Dan Murphy:From mug shot portraits to comic art
now they’re like two smaller side stories. So I’m just kind of
slowly working on these as I can, getting books out and at
some point I’ll have enough small media ones to make it into
a bigger book. For book publishing they do want to see a
bigger, nice collection of stuff so I’m working up to that.
The Wake: Is it going to be at all autobiographical?
Dan: I’m not sure, but probably not really. I have this image
in my head of two characters living in some old farmhouse in
the middle of the woods. So it’d be kind of strange, maybe a
bit creepy. That’s the vibe I get off the characters. Instinc-
tually my mind kind of always extrapolates a story of the
people I see. Okay, where do they go home to? What’s their
life like? I just create an arc in my head, just based on what I
think their life is like. That’s how I kind of like to write stories
like this. Just piece them together and let them fall into place
eventually. It becomes almost natural.
The Wake: Where did the name come from, Elle Cirka?
Dan: I was trying to find something that described a very
kind of “hell circus” basically because the gist of the story is
about me running away to join the circus as a kid. And I draw
these caricatures there. And the caricature I draw of them is
kind of their ticket to be taken into a big tent which is kind
of like a symbol for hell, or some kind of punishment which
is still a little vague at this point in the story. I remember
looking up various translations for “hell circus” in Google
translate. And that “elle cirka” was maybe a Latvian, or some
eastern European translation of hell circus. And the name
just fit.
I’m passionate about music; I’m passionate about arts. It was very close to my heart so I was able to put my soul into it.
The Wake: How much of the work that you make is influ-
enced by comic books?
Dan: A lot of it. A lot of it is just influenced by some fine art,
some classic illustration from the 19th or the 20th century.
I started reading superhero comics for a while in junior high
and high school. I liked some of the art and certain artists,
but never really the stories so much. And then later into
high school and then in art school, I got more into inde-
pendent and alternative cartoonists like Dan Clowes, Chris
Ware, Robert Crumb, and Julie Doucet. And seeing people
that were more expressive, more creative. They became far
more influential than any of the superhero stuff I remember
reading when I was younger. And a lot of it is using those
influences, but also drawing, you find you create your own
new styles. Like, “Oh, I like how he did this.” Or, “I should use
this again.” And part of it is finding your own language, sty-
listically. You kind of see yourself working that way naturally,
eventually. It doesn’t quite look like anything you’ve done
before. Letting some of the influences go as you create your
own stuff is the way I try to head towards.
The Wake: Can you tell me about Rock Ink Roll?
Dan: It’s every two years that Altered Esthetics does a comic
book-themed show, and this year was a show that was influ-
enced by rock music and music in general. We decided the
format this year would be almost a 12 by 12 like a vinyl, but
that was a bit too expensive. So we pared it down to this size
[holds up the book]. People submitted various stories based
on what they interpreted that theme to be. It was really
open-ended. People definitely used their own relationship
with music as a starting point. Even the opening was really
fun, my band The Double Dollars played that. It was really
just a fun way to involve music.
The Wake: Did Rock Ink Roll make sense for you then be-
cause you’re a musician and an artist?
Dan: It did a lot. I was able to kind of scratch several itches
with that. I know I’m passionate about music; I’m passionate
about arts. It was very close to my heart so I was able to put
my soul into it.
www.wakemag.org 11.
Q&A
The Wake: What do you like or dislike about comic book
style art?
Dan: I like the variety of the styles confined in it. I do get
annoyed with people that sort of ape maybe a fashionable
style or whatever is popular at the moment and don’t really
progress or evolve, or maybe just be too close to another
artist’s style. I see my influences come out a lot in my stuff,
but I always try to be self aware of it. When I see influences
in other peoples’ work that’s maybe a bit too blatant, I kind
of want to see them do the same thing. Just progress, and
move forward and create something interesting. I always
think of creating stuff I would want to buy myself if I just
saw it randomly. I think that’s the ideal. Create stuff that you
would want yourself.
The Wake: Do you see yourself sticking around this art com-
munity?
Dan: Yeah, I like it. I like the Twin Cities, especially Minneap-
olis and Northeast, which has such a strong art community.
There’s so many great museums and music and all sorts of
things to draw from and be around. I think being stuck in the
middle of nowhere would be nice as far as being quiet, but
I think I would get kind of bored and want to be in the city.
Maybe it might change as I get older, but I think as I’m meet-
ing more and more artists I like being here. It does really just
cause you to grow and to push yourself.
The Wake: What advice do you have for aspiring illustrators?
Dan: Just draw a lot. And keep your eyes as wide as possible.
I went to an art school, but I don’t think that’s always neces-
sary. If you’re driven and you keep your mind and eyes open
and just constantly learn more and you’re exposing yourself
to as much as you can, you can really do a lot. It’s really
about how much you push yourself. And meeting other art-
ists is really, really good. When I meet other, younger artists I
encourage them and give them feedback. Being part of that
loop, it just always helps you as an artist, no matter what
genre you’re in. Art school or some direction like that helps
you focus, but I know plenty of artists who didn’t go to art
school and they’re just amazing. It’s really about what’s in
you as a person.
Part of it is finding your own language, stylistically. You kind of see yourself working that way naturally, eventually
The Wake: How did you meet the artists you share studio
space with?
Dan: Just at the monthly cartoonist meet-up here [at
Diamonds Coffee Shoppe] through a friend that I actually
met in junior high, a guy named Daniel. We made our own
comics together throughout junior high and high school.
Once in a while we would just bump into each other after
high school. And he was like, “Oh Dan, you should really go
to this monthly cartoonist conspiracy meet-up here in the
Twin Cities.”
The Wake: It’s called Cartoonist Conspiracy?
Dan: Yeah, the International Cartoonist Conspiracy. And it
was started by a guy named Steven Stwalley. He just kind of
liked getting people together to draw kind of “jam” comics.
One person would draw one panel, another person would
draw the next. It wouldn’t always make sense, but at least
it’s interesting. Some people show up every month. Some
people just kind of come and go as they can make it. I just
went to one last week.
The Wake: When you’re sketching what media do you use?
Dan: All sorts, actually. I have some pen sketches, pen and
ink, some wash. My work is in some watercolors. Just playing
with it. Even if I don’t like the sketch, I’ll sometimes just try
to make the page interesting. Like here, if I don’t like the
page, I’ll just do a portrait over it. This [pointing at a page in
his sketchbook] is actually from a mug shot from Australia
in the 1920s. These beautiful photographs with men in suits
and women in nice clothes. They’re just amazing.
The Wake: Do you find mug shots online?
Dan: Yeah, I just Google them. Sometimes more contempo-
rary ones are fun, but there’s a bunch of great ones from the
sixties in Minneapolis with girls with beehive hair-dos.
The Wake: Since you like drawing people so much, is it a
challenge to do backgrounds for your comics?
Dan: It is, actually. Perspective has always been the bane
of many comic book artists. If it’s wrong it can really be
distracting and I think I somehow kind of solve that with the
backgrounds in these since I can kind of just put one of the
circus tent fabrics in the back and that takes up a lot of space
and sets you in a setting, but I always want to get better at
just drawing buildings. I’m so used to drawing figures that
it’s one thing I recognize as a weakness to work on. It’s very
important and I notice it when it’s off in people’s work. It’s a
continuing battle.
The Wake: Anything else you want to say about your art?
Dan: I don’t know what I would be doing otherwise. It’s the
only thing I’ve ever really known how to do. My parents were
really supportive from early on. I’m so glad I could do it. I get
a rush of energy from creating. I can’t imagine just going
home after work and not doing anything. A lot of it is just for
my own satisfaction and other people enjoying it is really just
a bonus.
At the Autopic festival I was standing there and a guy comes
up and I go into my spiel, telling him what my books are
and he goes, “Oh yeah, I know. I came to the last one and I
bought your books and I’m glad you have a new one! I want
to pick it up.” It was just like, awesome. This guy knows my
stuff. That was great affecting a total stranger like that.
That’s something that makes you want to make more. I’m
doing it for myself, mostly but having other people react to
it really makes it worth it.
See more of his work at: danmurphyart.com
12. december 16 - january 21
3REVIEWSSound & Vision
Cupid DeluxeBlood Orange is this generation’s Prince
By Ethan Lauer
Devonté Hynes just released his second studio album as Blood Orange, Cupid Deluxe. Until this point, he has remained largely behind the scenes in his musical creations, producing and co-writing Sky Ferreira’s hit “Everything is Embarrassing” as well as working with The Chemical Brothers, Florence and the Machine and a few other side projects.
This album gives a lot of perspective as to where Dev is coming from both musically and personally. The overall sound on this record is reminiscent of Prince, incorporating pop-funk guitar and bass riffs with emotionally charged airy falsetto crooning, and the melding of Dev’s vocal inflexion and the minor-driven chord combi-nations is just as emotional as the lyrical content.
He gives this 80s feel some modern depth, focusing on his current personal issues on the song “Uncle Ace” which involves the struggle of the transgender underground culture in New York. He seems to have two personas in this song, singing in falsetto and using a lower monotone in a section of the song, referring to himself as a girl highlighting the issue of self-identification.
Dev breaks up the otherwise narrowly focused breadth of sound, featuring Queens-based rapper Despot on the song “Clipped On.” Although Despot’s flow is rough and true to the Queens rap scene, it somehow fits into the soft and emotional journey of the album. He continues the rap trend, featuring London MC Skepta on “High Street”, who nostalgically raps about his adolescence. Cupid Deluxe is masterful in this regard, reviving a unique alt-80s feel while simul-
taneously being a truly current and innovative piece of art.
Glen Hansard Teases With New EPA review of Drive All Night
The History of CavesDark film and soundtrack from the Tillman Estate
By Kirsten Erickson
Glen Hansard, the Irish-brogued, ginger-bearded and Oscar-win-ning singer-songwriter doesn’t seem to want to slow down. After releasing Taking Back the Heartland in 2012, he just put out an EP titled Drive All Night. While tweens may mistakenly come across it while looking for One Direction’s Up All Night, Hansard’s fans won’t find any autotune here.
This EP includes four tracks, each of which offer a taste of what Hansard has been able to do so well, as has been seen in his award-winning music from the film Once: folk music with a rubbed-raw soul.
The first track, “Drive All Night,” has the potential to get a little sleepy, what with a saxophone solo and slow drum beat, but Hansard’s gravelly voice and a guest vocal from Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder inject some much needed emotion into what could have otherwise been considered a cheesy-sounding song.
“Pennies in the Fountain,” in contrast, has a bare and bleak feel, with a haunting banjo strumming to such morose lyrics like “We suffered heartache after heartache/ but we wished for nothing else.”
And just when things seem to be getting too folksy, Hansard pulls out the synthesized beats on “Renata” and finishes up with a gospel-inspired, completely a capella vocal on “Step Out of the Shadows.”
In all, the biggest downfall of Drive All Night is that it’s so short. Hansard gives listeners just a taste of his talent before the EP ends. One Direction and their teeny bopper fans should take notice: A little certainly goes a long way.
By Luke Michaels
The History of Caves, out on Sub Pop Records, is Emma Till-man’s directorial debut as well as Josh Tillman’s debut as film score composer.
Josh Tillman, better known as Father John Misty, has been es-teemed for his work with the Fleet Foxes as well as his superb 2012 solo release, Fear Fun. The presence of Father John Misty in the creation of the film is minor, however, as Emma shines as a more-than-capable director. The film is dark and cryptic, focusing on family dynamics and values as it traces a day in the life of widower Evan Snow, a 40-year-old watchmaker, and his three children—Velvet, Cassius, and Azalea.
The dramatic, sweeping handheld camera shots and rainy day vibe create an emotional stupor while the beautiful, secluded Laurel Canyon location seems to parallel the director’s similarly secluded lifestyle.
One cannot ignore Josh Tillman’s brilliant first attempt at com-posing, however. He proves a master of creating heart-grip-ping tension as well as musical tranquility. Haunting tracks like the rainy “Car Chase Theme” and the Phosphorescent-esque harmonies of “Title Theme for Boy Voices” resonate, proving that the soundtrack alone is worth your time.
One hopes that Josh Tillman’s role, while brilliantly executed, doesn’t overshadow the visionary work of Emma Tillman in a film that takes on innocence, family, and what it means to feel alone. The History of Caves is proof that Team Tillman is a
force to be reckoned with.
MUSICPICKINGS.FILES.WORDPRESS.COM
OKAYPLAYER.COM
YOUTUBE.COM
www.wakemag.org 12.
www.wakemag.org 11.
10. december 16 - january 21
Superhero TweetsBy Alex Van Abbema
Batman: Soooo my Batmobile is currently under repair. Guess I’m gonna have to break out
the Prius #sigh
Hulk: These Black Friday lines are something else…
They’re getting me pretty riled up…
#ohgeez #watchout
Lex Luthor: Anyone know where a guy can
get some cheap kryptonite around here? Lately the prices have been off the charts…
#inflation
Iron Man: Just came across Wonder Woman #bootyhadmelike
#sorrypepper
Captain America: I have no idea what is going on in this day and age. What’s twerking? What’s this
YOLO swag business? #justlookingforadecentsockhop
Captain Underpants: So when am I finally gonna be recognized as an official superhero? Is defeating
Professor Poopypants not enough?
Spiderman: Somebody tried to jack my car today. He looked so cute webbed against that building.
Superman: #thatawkwardmomentwhen you forget to wear your Superman
costume under your shirt… #wardrobemalfunction
Thor: Apparently on Earth restaurants, it’s frowned upon to throw your glass on the floor yelling “another!” #kickedout
#sorrynotsorry
Aquaman: Hey so when’s that superhero Christmas party happening? Never got the
invite! Guys?
www.wakemag.org 9.
8. december 16 - january 21
By Time-TwisTer
I don’t have a lot
of time so I’ll make
this quick. My name
is Time-Twister and
this is my story…
I was an average
guy: an above-average
student, with a below-
average reputation.
Classic story right?
Wrong.
I am what they call
a “talent” in most
University Federation Guidelines. I can manipu-
late time.
In high school, I used this talent to my ad-
vantage and no one was any the wiser. How
often have you wished you could go back in
time and change that one false answer to
true? Fastforward through A snore-induc-
ing lecture to the quiz at the end? How many
times do you wish you could just stop time
during a test and pull out your textbook?
How about taking all the time you need to fin-
ish an assignment that’s due in an hour? That
was my daily life.
However, with great power comes great de-
pendency. I can hardly get through a class
without a bit of creative rule bending. But this
makes my situation worse and worse. The Uni-
versity Federation knows there are talents out
there like me and they sniff us out and shoot
us on-the-spat. Phasers set to expel.
Keeping Up With The TimesCheating Super Powers
It has been a challenge to remain in obscuri-
ty, to cheat just enough to get by but not to
pay draw attention to myself. The only one who
knows my secret is my roommate, but he got it
easy. His superpower is multitasking, complete-
ly undetectable in our modern age.
But each time I bend time they draw closer. They
try to impose their will on us. They send out
crime alerts, calling our gifts “crimes” but who
wouldn’t use the tools set in front of them?
Does it lack integrity to be born different?
I have come to the conclusion that it must, be-
cause as I am slowly being surrounded on all
sides by the Campus PD in this tiny closet, deep
within the Gopher Way, I must rationalize their
behavior. The clock is ticking.
PETER MARIUTTO
By Cora NeiseN
It was a fateful and dreary November when
the envelope arrived.
Superman flew to the mailbox and saw the
return address - AARP, Washington, D.C.
20049. After seeing that he was officially
a senior citizen, he flew towards his house
and punched a watermelon-sized hole in the
garage door.
Superman was the first to file for retire-
ment among his old superhero clique. He ap-
plied for AARP in 2005, followed closely by
Spiderman’s 2007 application.
Although they struggled at first, many be-
loved superheroes have accepted their re-
tirement by pursuing some surprising hobbies.
Unable to shake his need for intense ac-
tion, Batman has
fallen victim to a
Grand Theft Auto
addiction. Usual-
ly seen playing in
nothing but a Tap
Out bandana, he
says this has been
the most relaxed
he has ever been
while still getting
a great adrenaline
rush every day.
While accepting re-
tirement has been a
challenge, Batman
now goes by Bruce
both day and night,
awaits his AARP benefits, and drives the Bat-
mobile ten miles per hour under the speed
limit.
Meanwhile, Superman has taken up water
colors. He said painting provides a release
for him, similar to the rush he used to get
from flying. Superman has surprised fans
by discovering a fascination with mythical
creatures through his artwork. His favor-
ite subjects to paint are trolls, dragons,
and unicorns.
Saying, “F*%@ hobbies,” Spiderman can usu-
ally be found sleeping in a hammock in his
backyard for days on end, waking only to
snack on Swedish Fish and hotdogs.
Although some former fans worry that he
has taken a turn for the worse, many col-
lege students sympathize with Spiderman,
agreeing that laying in a hammock eating
candy and mystery meat all day sounds quite
appealing some days.
Superman Joins AARPHow our favorite superheroes are handling retirement
JENNIFER YELK
www.wakemag.org 7.
By: Luke MichaeLs
Patrick Cross–or Patty C., as he prefers, be-
cause it “Just sounds more gangster.”
He said he sat alone in his cluttered 8’ by 12’
dorm room during the planning phases. Pat-
rick has been a student at the U for nearly
a decade and continues to pursue a degree in
elementary teaching.
Describing his memories of the day he tried
to take over the world, he recounted a
generic map of the U.S. and pencil drawings
of Mussolini and Stalin are strewn care-
lessly across the ffloor and hang limp from
crooked tacks on his eggshell walls–yes,
he knows that’s against the rules and he
doesn’t care. A red Magic Marker smiley face
marks the day on his discount swimsuit cal-
endar.
Patrick had been plotting this day for years.
Today was the day that he would prove to
the world that he was not just some acne-
ridden teen who spent just a little too much
time locked in his room “updating his blog.”
He planned to create widespread panic and
harness absolute power in the midst of
chaos.
He was currently on hold with the White
House. Any second now, he would issue an
official takeover threat and panic would
spread like jelly on his mom’s signature
PB&J’s. But they didn’t answer. No matter,
they would regret their brutal negligence!
Hundreds of accomplices across the nation
prepared to initiate the detonation of hun-
dreds of radioactive P-Bombs (short for Pat-
rick Bombs). He gathered up his strength and
pressed his big red button (he was a big fan
of cliches). The rockets flew and, because
the plan was formulated circa 2005, hun-
dreds of Radio Shacks were leveled nation-
wide. Luckily, there were no casualties. The
U.S. fell into a very mild panic, eventually
blaming the incident on “The Commies.”
Patrick was crushed. Nobody believed his
story, which he vented about actively on
his blog—he was really into the year 2005,
I guess—for the remainder of his otherwise
uneventful life.
Patrick’s Guide to World DominationOne Man, One Plan, No Tan
By Zach siMon
Saving the world. The ole nine-to-five, 20
credit semesters. Papers late, presentations
due, classes skipped. Those tears won’t mop
themselves. College can be rough, and the
“Spider-Man Diet” may not be for everyone,
but take it to heart, dear reader, because
you too can balance these super challenges
with ordinary planning.
Before you can start saving lives, one has
to prepare. Set an alarm not only to wake up,
but to go to sleep. If you’re thinking about
that all-nighter, remember that you can give
a presentation better half-done and awake
than finished and sleep-standing. Unless you
go all “Hulk Smash” on your alarm clock and
miss class. How do you live with yourself?
Try placing alarms on the floor whilst you
sleep snug as The Human Torch in the top
bunk. You cannot always rely on your Spi-
dey Sense to get you up, but you can catch a
quick super-power nap on the bus.
You’re awake now, but you have to be pre-
sentable. Nobody wants to be saved by some
bedraggled mess that smells like yester-
day’s super-suit. There is about as much time
as it takes the water to get warm to for you
to take your entire shower. Towel: required.
Soap: optional.
Collect your gear quickly, because if you are
not eating a Carnation This Instant Break-
fast, there is not a moment to spare. Start
chugging that scalding coffee because your
monthly workout is waving hello as the bus
screeches goodbye around that corner and
you have to sprint to class.
Oh no! Jameson is breathing down your neck
for the photos you promised him of Spider-
Man last week, and you have a paper due in
two hours! What to do? Try slipping The
Flash a $20, he won’t mind doing a Marvel boy
a solid. The Scarlet Speedster can’t live off
just Ramen, ya know.
Speaking of Ramen, always be thinking about
fast meals. The box combo from Cane’s is
just slowing you down, try an apple and a
few Clif Bars, you’ll save yourself some time
at the gym as well.
Eight Arms are Better than TwoYour Friendly Neighborhood College Student
PETER MARIUTTO
Last week, the Fantastic Four assassinated
rapper MF Doom on-stage at his New York City
concert.
Friday afternoon, the Human Torch, the In-
visible Woman, Mr. Fantastic, and the Thing
patrolled the streets looking for crime as
they often do. When they passed
a music venue in their
search, they heard
groups of people
outside talking about
Doom’s performance.
Upon entering the
building, the team
saw the rapper in his
trademark Dr. Doom-
style mask entrancing
the crowd with micro-
phone in hand. They quickly
sprung into action and took
The Fantastic Four Assassinate the Wrong Doom!Rap crews vow to avenge MF Doom’s death
the stage, publicly executing who
they assumed to be Dr. Doom in front of
hundreds of what they thought to be
hypnotized hip-hop fans.
The Fantastic Four issued a public apolo-
gy in a press conference soon after they
realized the man they had killed was not,
in fact, Dr. Doom. The president offi-
cially pardoned the Fantastic Four,
knowing that any prosecution
would ultimately be a failed
effort. However, the rap com-
munity has not forgiven the
transgression.
In fact, many hip-hop moguls
have used their influence to
round up fans and form vigilan-
te militias to fight back against
the Fantastic Four, taking gang
violence to a whole other level.
The Wu Tang Clan has been one of the more
active crews, training their militia of fans
in the art of Kung Fu. Snoop Dogg has taken
an alternative approach, attempting to
lure the superheroes into a giant hotbox
of marijuana smoke created by his militia.
His goal is to get the Four too stoned to
retaliate when the militia attempts to “pis-
tol whip those suckas.”
More is sure to develop as the rap crews
continue to develop their plans of attack.
There are rumors of a collaborative mas-
ter attack amongst all crews against the
Four orchestrated by Dr. Dre called Op-
eration “Detox,” but nothing has been con-
firmed at this point.
The only certainty we have is that in the
coming days, one of two legendary forces
will be wiped off the face of the Earth: the
Fantastic Four or rap music as we know it.
“Snoop Dogg has taken an alternative approach, attempting to lure the
superheroes into a giant hotbox of marijuana smoke created by his
militia.”
By Ethan LauEr“There are rumors
of a collaborative
master attack
amongst all crews
against the Four
orchestrated by
Dr. Dre called
Operation “Detox,”
but nothing has
been confirmed at
this point.”
6. december 16- january 21
DAN FORKE
www.wakemag.org 5.
By Cooper HenCkel
Amid the many claims levied against the Af-
fordable Care Act, few have been aimed at
the provision that prevents insurance com-
panies from denying coverage of individuals
with pre-existing conditions. An unintended
consequence of this has allowed many mu-
tants, who had previously been denied cov-
erage, to now have access to healthcare
for the first time.
Previously, mutants whose condition was
discovered were unable to file claims. Ac-
cording to one mutant, who wishes to remain
anonymous, after developing mutant powers
she started moonlighting as a superhero and
broke her arm stopping a robbery.
“When I went to the hospital that night, they
told me my insurance would no longer be
accepted,” the anonymous mutant said. Ac-
cording to her and others, physicians were
unable to give even basic care to mutant
patients. Insurance companies claimed the
“mutant precondition” was grounds to deny
coverage. Overnight, mutants with newly de-
veloped abilities lost their health coverage.
“When our son was born, we were forced to
give birth at a private medical facility,” said
Jean Grey, a lead mutants rights activist
and educator at an upstate New York board-
ing school.
“I was fortunate to have the resources I did.
Other mutants, especially those with physi-
cal mutations or from impoverished areas,
are forced to seek back-alley treatments or
go without care,” Grey said. “This was anti-
mutant discrimination at its worst and we
applaud Obama and the ACA’s efforts to end
this gross injustice.”
While Grey’s view that the law’s protection
is critical for improving mutant-human rela-
tions is shared with others in the mutant
community and beyond, some doctors are
concerned about whether hospitals will
be logistically able to handle the influx of
mutant patients. According to a local physi-
cian who offers free basic care to mutants,
“Most hospitals don’t have the facilities to
really help these patients. Some mutants
have non-human physiology and others can
kill physicians without meaning to.” He said
treating mutant patients is a serious chal-
lenge that few doctors are prepared to
handle. “Coverage from insurance companies
still doesn’t guarantee treatment,” he said.
“The fight for healthcare isn’t over, but
we’ve won the first battle and that’s a huge
step,” Grey said. With very little political
backing for the measure, it seems the mu-
tant community still faces barriers between
themselves and affordable medicine.
Covered by the Affordable Care Act Helpful for Mutants?
By nader Helmy
My arms are far too strong for this. My
brain far too complex. My stature far too
great. My confidence? Far too low.
You know, when I first decided to take up
this whole “being a superhero” thing, I never
thought this would be the part of the gig. No
one tells you this stuff. It’s not in the manual.
Did you know that three out of every four
superheroes are emotionally vulnerable?
The fourth is The Thing. That dude’s a rock.
Okay, I’ll come out with it. I’ve been seeing
this girl. And by “me,” I mean, regular me -
without the costume. We’ve been together
for months now and she’s been so great. The
kind of person you can never see yourself
not being friends with. Completely and to-
tally mine. Until recently. She’s been colder,
more distant. I can tell that what I think
and what I feel matters to her less. That’s
how you can always tell. We talk less and I
can feel her slipping away. I had my worst
fears confirmed when she broke the news
to me last week. She says she loves an-
other man.
I’ve seen her around town putting up
posters and holding signs, screaming em-
phatically about the man in the costume,
but I just assumed it was a harmless fan-
cy. She always did linger a little too long
with her eyes glued to the news about
the caped crusader’s latest escapade.
The other man is me. Me, the superhero.
She’s breaking up with me for me. She ac-
tually said the phrase, “It’s not you, it’s
me.” Brutal. Almost hilarious, but I don’t
think enough time has passed yet. Yep,
she’s in love with a superhero. I guess
you always love the idea of what you
don’t have.
I don’t think I’ll ever love again. I know,
everyone says that. But hear me out. I
took up this persona, this costume, and
I hid behind the mask because I had a
feeling I could do something better for the
world. Something more. But what if that guy,
the guy who fights crime (or the idea of him),
is better than I could ever be on my own?
It’s lonely behind a mask. The anonymity has
made me reclusive, self-centered, and most of
all, incredibly alone. But I’ve started think-
ing that maybe I can start living through
the hero in me. Maybe I can make her love
me again. We all have heroic qualities, mine
are just a little more… obvious. Maybe I can
make the public’s illusions, her illusions, a
reality. Dishonest? Perhaps a little. That’s a
leap of faith I’m not used to.
Knight in Shining SpandexA brief how-to guide on literally
masking your emotions
Overnight, mutants with newly developed abilities lost their
health coverage
4. december 16 - january 21
By Lianna Matt
The mutant sewer rat attack left a slimy,
grungy, and slightly-rabid toll on Kahnta
City. The giant rodent’s path of destruction
was felt by the Hales Art Museum (HAM). Af-
ter the rat’s severed arm fell through the
roof of HAM, the fight ended.
Shards of pottery and ripped paintings have
been shuttled to the city’s art restoration
department. With countless artifacts lost,
repairing damage to HAM is just one item
on the long list of restorations in Kahnta
City’s future.
Despite the unfortunate circumstances, HAM
will soon host a unique exhibit. The heroes
who defeated the menace have stayed to give
more of their time to the city.
Geoffrey Hale, HAM’s museum owner, an-
nounced an upcoming exhibition of Justice
League self portraits to raise money for
Kahnta City’s citizens.
At the museum’s workroom, Superman, un-
doubtedly the most powerful man in the
world, demonstrated his strength by pul-
verizing rock after rock into a rubble pile
that is supposed to be... something. When
asked, Superman explained, “My art is the
process of creating greatness out of some-
thing that people perceive as trash. It is a
metaphor for all those who felt misunder-
stood to show that they can become some-
one that they feel happy with.” Who knew
Superman was so deep?
Fed up with Superman’s egocentrism, Won-
derwoman blew open his lie. Glancing up
from her oil painting, she said, “You should
have come here fifteen minutes earlier. He
was throwing rock after rock at it mutter-
ing, ‘why he could stop an alien attack but
couldn’t make his dang rock head stick to
his dang rock body.’”
According to Wonderman, Superman plans to
paint himself white on opening day and pose
as his statue while Flash makes finishing
touches on the real exhibit.
Overhearing her, Superman joked, “I try to
fly. I try to fly, but you pull me down with
your lasso.” Flash, apparently, being the
good-hearted, go-to guy he is would make
Superman’s statue now, but he is preoccupied
with his own self portrait.
Watching colorful thread after thread
stretch across the glass surface of
Flash’s wall, the most anyone could catch
of the artist was a dash of red ricocheting
from side to side. The methodical sweep of
his canvas was mesmerizing as line by line, a
thread mural of him sprinting through the
cosmos started to appear.
Compared to the motion of the Flash, the
slow, deliberate movements of Batman made
it hard to believe that the two work as a
cohesive team. Shut away in a dark room, the
Batman lifted print after print of himself
out of the liquid. Some half blurry and some
in sharp focus, the film had close ups and
candid shots of him patrolling the city.
Better Than Fan Art: Superhero portraits on display to aid cityLIANNA MATT
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2. december 16 - january 21
BRITTANY LONG
MIGHTY FLAKES
A Breakfast that will keep you going, and going, and going, and going, and going...
BRITTANY LONG
Clark Kent here. Some of you may be familiar with my writing in The Daily Planet, but today I am honored to be guest editing this issue of The Wake Magazine, a publication that excels at reporting on injustices in the community, as well as moments of pride and heroism.
Now, some of you may be aware of my alter-ego, Superman. Although I believe strongly in my work as a superhero, I sometime believe journalism is an equally strong way to bring light to injustices in the world. In this issue of this honor-able magazine, I am confident that
you readers will understand the good that journalism can bring to the world despite the oftentimes negative public responses to American media.
With articles that uncover the truth about students who use their powers to deceitfully and unfairly cheat on exami-nations or the potential implications of covering mutants under the Affordable Care Act, and others like The Spider-Man Diet, to help you manage your social, educational, and world-saving lives, I feel that this issue proves the beneficial nature of journalistic work.
In my mind, the writers in this issue are true superheroes, and I challenge you to do good for this student body, and this world--be it through activism, studying, or writing. As I have said be-fore, until my dream of a world where dignity, honor and justice becomes the reality we all share -- I'll never stop fighting, and I hope you won’t either.
Clark Kent (a.k.a Superman)
Guest Editor