The Truth About a Lie (Book Preview)

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The Truth About A Lie

by James Langston

each lie steals a sacred part of you

Preface

he impetus for this story came about as I was relaxing at my computer

table one night after a long and challenging day. Without any preliminary

warning, I was jolted back to reality with the words, The Truth About A Lie,

rolling through my mind and spirit.

T

Experience had taught me not to simply dismiss this unexpected moment,

but embrace it; examine it and then determine what to do or not do with those

five words still pulsating in my thoughts. So, after a few moments of

deliberation, Iscribbledsome mental notes, and then carefully filed them

under the heading pending.

As an aside, even though the described event was brief, I knew the gears

were in motion for my next book.

Sadly, the history of the world is riddled with lies, innuendos, half-truths

and treachery from men and women of all size and stature. From the fall of

Lucifer, to Christophe Rocancourt (identity thief), Benedict Arnold, Gregor,

MacGregora (con artist), Pinocchio, Charles Ponzi (ponzi scheme), Michael

Romanoff (big-time Hollywood restaurateur), Elmyr de Hory (art forger),

Richard Nixon, Bernie Madoff, Aldrich Ames (selling state secrets to Russia)

and John Walker and Jerry Whitworth (convicted of espionage), sins of the

most unimaginable proportion have been perpetrated.


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Yet, with each crime, regardless of the overtness or covertness of it, a severe

consequence always follows: it is those consequences (the what, when, where,

who, how and why if you will a behind the scenes look at the actions and

thought processes of our web of lies) that I will try to detail in this book.


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Introduction

his book is based on the premise that you do not need to teach a person,regardless of their age, to lie its a part of our Deoxyribonucleic acid

(DNA) makeup.TAnd in case its hard for you to wrap your head around that, consider this:

place a single toy in a playpen: then set two babies in that same playpen.

Within seconds, you will witness both babies grappling over the presumed

ownership of the toy. However, in the end, its the one thats most aggressive

and most manipulative that always comes out the victor.

This is not another how to book: as previously stated, the how to is

already an inert part of our life and being. My challenge is to poke (not prod)

you enough in hopes of making you more aware of what you will do before you

do it. This in turn I hope [fingers crossed] will help you to better analyze your

thoughts and intents before they become your reality.

I have intentionally structured each chapter so it will give you a

comparative look of your possible choices and decisions beforehand. This I

hope will help you to carefully consider the outcomes of your actions before

they become your past mistakes and failures.

The topics, I believe are presented in such a way, that the

straightforward, no frills format will help you to quickly understand the

fundamental principles being examined.

After you have gone through a couple of chapters, it will become second

nature as to why a particular subject was chosen or why a concept was

illustrated or a question asked.


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There are no losers in this book. We all have our quirks, peculiarities and

idiosyncrasies to deal with. However, the sooner we realize that we are not

perfect and that mistakes and failures are a part of life, the quicker we can

move on to the next challenge waiting for us somewhere down lifes road.


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Prologue

Lies, Liars and Lying

oure surrounded by lies, but most of what you think you know about

them is probably you guessed it a lie.YFor example, lets look at 10 things that you probably did not know about

liars or lying:

1. You cant tell somebody is lying from their eyes

A liar always has shifty eyes and cant look you in the face. Its one of our

most commonly-held beliefs, and its completely wrong.

Psychologists offered strong evidence of this after examining video footage of

people who lied and didnt lie, noting how often they looked to the left and

right, creating the shifty eye effect. There was no measurable difference

between people who were lying and those who were telling the truth.

2. Nobody has ever found a lie detector that works

Despite the fact that lie detector test results are admissible in some

courts as evidence, there is ample evidence that it is relatively easy to fool

common lie detectors. Essentially, all lie detectors measure are levels of stress

and anxiety and, given that many liars are cool and practiced under

pressure, this doesnt tell you much about how truthful theyre being.

Some have suggested that we use fMRI brain imaging for lie detection, but

there is even less evidence that lies can be detected in that way. Interestingly,

there is evidence that using Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation can induce


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people to lie more often than they normally would. And there are a few other lie

detectors that could one day be foolproof.

3. Liars often fool themselves, too


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One

Whats Wrong with a Little Lie?

lie is a statement that is known or intended by its source to be

misleading, inaccurate, or false. The practice of communicating lies is

called lying, and a person who communicates a lie may be termed a liar.

ALies may be employed to serve a variety of instrumental, interpersonal, or

psychological functions for the individuals who use them. Generally, the term

lie carries a negative connotation, and depending on the context a person

who communicates a lie may be subject to social, legal, religious, or criminal

sanctions.

In certain situations, however, lying is permitted, expected, or even

encouraged; the reasoning is simple; since believing and acting on false

information can have serious consequences, scientists and others haveattempted to develop reliable methods for distinguishing lies from true

statements.

The lie meaning, as a noun, the deliberate misrepresentation of facts in

order to deceive comes from an ancient Germanic root meaning to tell a lie,

as does the verb to lie, which first appeared in Old English as leogan.

The key to lying is, of course, intent. A lie is a blatant attempt to deceive

the listener; if I tell you that its snowing outside and it actually stopped an

hour ago, I am probably not lying. A lie usually must be deliberate and of

some consequence. Your hair looks fabulous may be a little fib (or white

lie), but it doesnt attain the level of malevolent dishonesty of an outright lie.


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Every person on the planet at times is an Oscar-winning liar. Havent we all

lied without being caught?


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Four

The Pinocchio Effect

omorrow, maybe. The father was standing at the ice cream vending

machine with his young daughter as she was pleading for a sweet

treat at the end of the camp day. Battling 100 degree weather with a sibling in

his hands and an agenda that was driving him out the door, the father looked

down at his daughter and said Tomorrow, maybe.

T

Well now tomorrow is today and what are the chances that daddy walked

into camp wielding two crisp dollars bills that will slide nicely into the machine

and spit out a chocolate fudge bar? Im not sure, but I started thinking, how

often do you tell a lie or stretch the truth to influence your childs behavior?

Parents stretch the truth, feign ignorance or tell a little white lie in order to

shape their childs behavior and emotions, but what sort of impact does it have

on parent Well-Being?

I was once working with a client who told me that she had a penchant for

scaring her daughter into doing the right thing. She would give her a direction

like put your plate in the sink and if she didnt listen, she would tell her

daughter that Grandma was going to come down from heaven and yell at her.

Pretty extreme, I know, but apparently Grandma had a scary face, so the

daughter willingly complied; for now. But what happens when Grandmas face

loses its evil glare and daughter figures out the truth? What motivation will the

child have to take the plate to the sink then?


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What should parents do when they want to protect their children from the

truth? Parents need to accept that they cant protect their children and that

lying only leaves children knowing the truth and wondering why parents are

lying about it.


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Six

I Lied for Love

lie can be hurtful, stressful, unforgettable, and damaging. Whether its a

white lie or just a straight up lie, the truth is always better to know.

Lying in a relationship is the main way to ruin a relationship. Paul Thaler, the

author of The Lies That Bind, believes that lying isnt bad in a relationship.

A

He sees the truth as being hurtful and less important, most lies as

inconsequential, and lies as a truer reflection of love than the truth. I think

lying is the worst thing we can do to each other as humans besides physical

abuse. Lying hurts people emotionally and can become addicting, and the

truth will eventually always come out. Lying to someone you care about can

result in you losing that person from your life.

Being lied to can not only be hurtful, but it can also be frustrating. It hurtsbecause its hard to cope with the fact that someone you trusted would lie to

you. Its frustrating because you believed that person was telling you the truth.

The truth may hurt, but I guarantee majority of the population would rather

know the truth.

Falling in love meant the building of trust, honesty, and openness-the

coming together of two hearts, two minds, Thaler stated: When you are in love

you should have those factors of trust, honesty, and openness.

If you truly love someone you shouldnt want to hurt them with a lie;

whether it is a big lie or a little white lie. White lies are defined as being

unmalicious, or even helpful, as stated by Ronald B. Alder, Lawrence B.


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Rosenfeld, and Neil Towne in the article White Lies, but they can still stir up

problems in relationships and create trust issues.


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Eight

Should I Alwaystell the Truth?

hould you always tell the truth? A lack of trust sets up an atmosphere of

doubt and constant questioning, while lies tend to break any trust

developed.

SIt requires an enormous amount of energy to constantly wonder whether we

are living in truth. Trust creates a deep knowing that sets us free from a

tremendous energy drain and power leak.

Trusting that all is exactly the way it needs to be is a very big leap in faith,

especially in the face of disaster, disease, and deprivation.

In order to trust, we must rise above our immediate concerns and glimpse

the bigger picture, seeing how each action has an effect, and we must be

willing to be microscopically honest.

Microscopic honesty is about telling the truth of our being down to the

most infinitesimal piece. Not telling the truth is a huge obscuration we have

layered on ourselves. We forget the ability to communicate without speaking

telepathywhen we begin to hide our truth.

I think we hide our truth partly because we dont want to hurt others,

however, we do not serve ourselves or others by not being truthful. We also can

be truthful with compassion by realizing that we all come from the same

source, our hurts are others hurts, and their hurts are ours.

When we allow ourselves to be microscopically honest with compassion, we

come home to ourselves and the rest of our family. We are able to trust

ourselves because we hear our first voice, the voice of primal knowing, more


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clearly. We are able to trust our relatives because they hide nothing from us as

we hide nothing from them.


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Nine

A Life of Truth and Honesty

any claim to be Christianbut what is a Christian? Most have only a

vague idea. Is it enough to believe Jesus or is there more? You need

to know!

MChristianity is the largest religion in the world, with over 2 billion

professing Christians. If you asked most of them what it takes to be a

Christian, they would have difficulty giving a clear answer. Is a Christian

simply someone who believes in Jesus Christ? Is it simply an emotional

religious experience or a one-time, stand-alone decision?

What does the Bible require for a person to be a real Christian? Many

professing Christians claim they have had a religious experience and that they

accepted Jesus. Yet many of those same people live no differently after the

experience than they did before it.

So, what is a Christian?

Anyone who is serious about his or her beliefs has an obligation to ask

the question, What is a Christian? What is it that distinguishes a real

Christian from the everyday person? Who or what determines the answer? And

where should we go to find the answer?

Only the Bible has the answers to those questions. Acts 11:26 tells us,

The disciples were first called Christians in Antioch.The word Christian

means a follower of Christ. The word disciple in this same verse means

student or pupil. This is helpful information.


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A Christian is not merely someone who professes to believe in Jesus; rather

he or she is a follower of and a student of Jesus Christ. Being a Christian is an

ongoing lifelong process of following the example of Jesus Christ.


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About the Author

ames Langston faithfully served his country for 27 years in the U.S.

Navy before retiring in April 2003. He is a husband, a father, a

grandfather and senior pastor of the Pilgrim Outreach Ministries.

JJames is ordained and licensed through World Evangelism Fellowship of

Baton Rouge, Louisiana. He is a 1976 graduate of El Campo high school in El

Campo, Texas.

He teaches in ministerial workshops, and gives primary leadership to theevangelistic, administrative, global outreach and audio and visual departments

of the ministry.

Duty Stations:

USS Dubuque (LPD-8)

Naval Telecommunications Center (NTCC) Subic Bay, Republic of the

Philippines

USS Fletcher (DD-992)

Recruit Training Command, San Diego, California

Naval Telecommunications Area Master Station (NCTAMS), European

Central, Naples, Italy

Service School Command, Radioman A Communications School, San

Diego, California

Awards: NATO Medal, Navy and Marine Corps Overseas Ribbon, Navy Sea

Service Deployment Ribbon, Humanitarian Service Medal, Armed Forces

Service Medal, Navy Good Conduct Medal, Navy Meritorious Unit


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Commendation, Navy and Marine Corps Achievement Medal, Navy & Marine

Corps Commendation Medal

James and his wife Cecilia have been married for more than 37 years and

have six children and fourteen grandchildren. They live overseas in Italy.

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