The Traffic Stop

EXT: A car driving casually down a street. The driver is jamming out to some tunes, when he suddenly notices a police car blaring its sirens behind him. He pulls over and rolls down his window as the officer gets out of his squad car and walks up.

Driver: Afternoon, officer. What seems to be the problem?

Officer: I’ll ask the questions here, son.

(The driver is puzzled by the officer’s cold response.)

Driver: ….ok.

Officer: License and registration, please.

(The driver hands over his papers to the officer. The driver sits in his car and waits for the officer to return his papers. The officer returns the papers.)

Officer: Did you realize how fast you were going, sir?

Driver: Uhhh….like 35?

Officer: Wrong. About 50 miles per hour.

Driver: (sighs) Look, officer, I apologize. I really do, but I’m in a rush to get somewhere.

Officer: Doesn’t matter, son. You were going 15 miles over the limit. I’m gonna have to give you a ticket.

Driver: Aw, come on officer. I didn’t notice. Give me a break!

Officer; A break? Let me tell you something, son. I’m a police officer. My job is to keep people safe.

(While the officer is speaking, the driver notices a man walking down the street behind him.) And part of that job is keeping careless drivers like you under the speed limit.

(Suddenly, the man walking down the street is ambushed by a thug. He falls onto the floor, and the thug proceeds to punch him repeatedly.)

Driver: Uh –

Officer: I’m not done! Officers like me don’t get where they are by giving people breaks, son. They train. They train day after day at the academy to heighten their senses. I am a hawk, son! I see everyone that goes by and everything that goes on! Nothing and no one gets by me!

(The thug continues to beat the man senselessly. Soon, he takes his shoes and runs away.)

Driver: Officer! –

Officer: Hey! Do not talk back to an officer! Jesus, didn’t they teach you anything in school?

Driver: Officer, I’m trying to tell you –

Officer: Save your breath. I bet they taught you all about police officers in school, but you just didn’t listen. You chose to listen to all of the bullshit they tell you in the media about idiot cops who patrol shitty neighborhoods. Well, let me tell you something, son!

(The mugged man behind the officer slowly rises from the ground, wounded and without shoes. As he is recovering, he is again ambushed by the same thug wielding a bat, only this time he is wielding a baseball bat.)

Driver: Officer, that guy needs help!

Officer: You trying to pull a fast one on me, son?!

Driver: No! That guy’s being mugged!

Officer: Nice try son, but I wasn’t born yesterday! I know you’re just sayin’ that so you could go back to your speedin’ or drug-slingin’ or whatever the hell you were doin’!

Besides, I got eyes on the back of my head! Nothing gets by me! I suppose next you’re gonna say that the guy mugging him has a bat right?

Driver: Yes!

Officer: U-huh! And what next? Does the guy have a posse? (At this moment, a group of people come rushing over to the thug and begin to assist him in beating the man on the floor) Hmm? Is there a huge beatdown going on behind me? (The man being beaten screams)

Driver: (looking extremely shocked and concerned) YES!!!

Officer: Oh and let me guess. Is the guy really hurt? Huh? Is he dying? (the beaten man screams, ``I can taste blood!’’)

Driver: (extremely shocked) What kind of police officer are you??!!!

Officer: I’ll tell you what kind of officer I am, boy! I’m the kind of officer that keeps these streets safe, and the kind that is tired of little smart-asses like you! (One of the group of muggers performs a body slam on the man on the ground)

Driver: Sir! Behind you!

Officer: Listen, boy I am SICK and TIRED of your bullshit! One more word out of you and I swear to God, I will beat you senseless and leave you out here in your drawers!!! (The thugs take all of the man’s clothing and leave him on the ground in his underwear)

Driver: …..Fine. You’re the officer, so CLEARLY you know everything.

Officer: That’s right!

Driver: And you clearly are trained in the skills of law enforcement and can see EVERYTHING that goes on around here!

Officer: Exactly! Glad to see you’re wising up! Still think I’m some idiot cop? (One of the thugs walks up to the stripped man on the ground and shoots him in the head)

Driver:……….Nope!