The Top 10 Things to Know About Your Self-Talk

How to get started exploring the art of effective self-talk

• We spend more time with our “selves” than any other person

• We are listening to our internal dialogue

1. Our Self Talk is Constant

• What you say in your head goes on 24/7

• You have infinitely more input into your life than any other person

2. Our Self-Talk Takes Place in Real Time

• There is a running commentary in your head

• If it’s good—you have a great friend• If it’s negative you are stuck with:

• Crazy, negative, self-defeating statements that go on all day

• Such statements tend to be self fulfilling

3. Our Bodies Treat our Self-Talk as Real

• What we say to ourselves in our head has physiological outcomes• Sweaty palms• Cloudy thinking• Physiological • STRESS

4. Our Self-Talk is Influenced by Our Locus-of-Control

• This is how we rationalize the cause of what happens• Everything is my fault• Everything is someone else’s fault• It happened because of chance or

luck

5. It Is Fascist

• It is so powerful that it overwhelms other input—including reality• Your self talk may tell you that no

member of the opposite sex wants to date you• You then fail to notice the opportunities

that are present

6. Negative Self-Talk Gets Loudest When You Need it

Least• When the pressure is on—revert to

default mode• Feeling stressed we often hype up

the negative self talk—self defeating

• Doing something new, risking self, etc.

7. Self-talk Can Be A Major Life Force

• Self-talk is relentless and ever-present• Tapes of negative self talk are most

common• Negative is most easily acquired.

Positive takes some work • Most of us do not reach adulthood with

lots of positive self talk tapes

8. You Talk to Yourself Like You Would Never Talk to

Others• If you called others what you call

yourself sometimes, they would be horrified and offended

• This type of degrading self talk will not solve anything

• It is terribly unkind and possibly untrue

9. Ultimately, Negative self-talk creates a very toxic

internal environment• You create a closed-loop toxic

waste dump in your head• Every time you dip in you pull up

something negative or self-defeating

• You defeat yourself once again and throw that into the pile

• It is very, very self defeating

10. Listen to Your Body—It Really Listens to You!

• The toxic environment creates:• Physical problems• Mental problems• Self defeating behavior

• Any degree of negativity from yourself to yourself is not what you need

• Tension is created between your “real” self and the negative self talk