house hunting is not for the faint of heart.

it’s full of action and adventure.

(you try navigating the streets of australia without a smartphone )

mystery and anticipation.

(will they respond to my email? will they like me? will I like them? What if I like them and they don’t like me?)

frustration and elation.

(I found the perfect one! ugh, it’s taken! WAIT, HERE’S ANOTHER ONE! UGH, THEY OWN A CAT.)

and a lot of weirdos.

seriously.

a lot..

AT FIRST THEY SEEM NORMAL. FRIENDLY EVEN.

THEY MIGHT CRACK A JOKE.

ASK YOU ABOUT YOUR JOB, YOUR HOBBIES.

GAUGE YOUR INTEREST IN THE ROOM, THE AREA, THE RENT.

AND JUST WHEN YOU THINK

YOU’VE DONE THE IMPOSSIBLE,

found the exception

to the rule

A GOOD OLE’ NORMAL ROOMMATE

Bam!

they let it slip. the crazy comes out.

“SO DO YOU LIKE FOOT MASSAGES?”

“WHAT SIZE ARE YOUR FEET?”

“ARE THEY TICKLISH?”

“DO YOU KEEP THEM WELL-GROOMED?”

(You think I’m joking. I’m not.)

run..

DON’T THINK. RUN.

FASTER.

FORGET MARATHONS, THIS IS THE GETAWAY YOU’VE BEEN TRAINING FOR.

RUN UNTIL YOU’RE SAFELY BACK IN FRONT OF YOUR COMPUTER

WHERE WITH THE CLICK OF A BUTTON, YOU’RE BACK ONLINE

HUNTING DOWN YOUR NEXT potential roommate.

(fingers crossed)