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Matthew, Mark, Luke and John…Four Evangelists Hanging Out

By Joseph Burley The gospel writers Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John liked to hang out a lot together in heaven. They would get together and talk about each of their writings of Jesus' life and how it has inspired people. They would often have spirited discussions (literally), sometimes having to defend how their specific way of telling the story of Jesus was the best way for their audience to understand their version of the message. One day John found out through his friend and disciple Polycarp that Irenaeus was getting the early Church fathers together decide on the symbols for the four evangelists. He figured it would be a great time to get the gang together to watch it on the big screen. So John decided to invite the other three over. They all arrived at the same time. "That's convenient," said John to the other three. "Let me guess, Matthew and Luke, you borrowed a ride from Mark?" "Oh stop it, John, you and your synoptic humor…always on us about that," retorted Matthew. "Sometimes your humor," he continued…"it just martyrs me." "Hah!," countered John with a cheeky grin, "Martyrdom? Yeah, actually (ahem) I wouldn't know what that is. But please do come in." Matthew rolled his eyes. "John, actually I was going to ride my bike over here but then Mark said that he would give me a lift." John replied, " Actually that bike is pretty sweet. But did you ever you think of a better name for your wheels?" Luke chimed in, "Come on, Matt, 'Cycle A' is just lame!" John nodded towards the driveway as they came in. "I see you guys came over in the Tetramorph. How's it running these days, Mark?" "Real good—no problems, not even a flat tire—not that it would matter, of course. Most of the time I just fly around in it. I love the four-wing drive. I still don't get the wheel within a wheel design. I've been meaning to ask 'Zeke about that…" 1

"Yeah, I know what you mean," interupted John. "When I first saw it, it didn't even have wheels. But it sure is a smooth ride…although I actually prefer six-wing drive vehicles myself. 2 But I sort of wish the radio could play more than one song though… No—don't worry!!! I'm just kidding!!! 'Holy, Holy, Holy' really is a great song." 3 Luke added, "I wish Mark would let me drive. He is always in such a hurry to get from point A to point B. I like to take my time." Matt nodded in agreement as they walked in. Matt, Mark and Luke made themselves comfortable in front of the big screen, waiting to observe what was going on below. John left the room. "Hey John, aren't you worried you might miss something?" shouted Mark toward the kitchen.

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"Nah," John answered, "I think they are just talking about some historical background right now. You know I have never been big on historical details. Let me know if they start talking about deeper things." They began to observe the discussions of the early Church fathers. Matthew glanced out of the window and noticed how quickly John's mustard tree was growing. A few birds were shading themselves in the branches.4 He was glad that the three of them were finally able to convince John that he needed one growing in his yard like the three of them had. John returned, offering his guests drinks. "Thank you," said Luke, grabbing a cold one from the tray. "Oh, should I?," said John. Then Luke winced, remembering why he would normally just say 'thanks' in front of John. "Here it comes…, probably a new variation of an old joke," he thought. "You'll have to tell me more about your imaginary—I mean mysterious friend 'Q" some time…that is, if you think he is canon-fodder," cracked John sarcastically, always believing that painfully bad puns weren't just for purgatory. John handed Matthew a drink and winked, "Don't worry, its kosher. And here's your drink Luke, and don't worry its not kosher." Mark replied, "John, you are martyring me with that Jew versus Gentile old bit. I am glad you can't catch me in the middle of that. You are a great host but some people you should know, even me… think you are crazy." Matthew added, "Yeah, sometimes I think you are two loaves short of a full bakery."5 "Here, Mark. I figured you would just prefer water," said John, handing him a glass of water.6 "Hey John, this is good stuff. What is it?", asked Luke after his first sip. "Oh, just some tea I made from those herbs that grow by the cave on Patmos7," John responded. Recalling some of John's visions, which he thought were pretty psychaedelic8, Luke decided he would drink it pretty slowly, just in case, he mused. Meanwhile the usual banter continued while they watched the church fathers gathering and talking. Luke turned to Mark. "So…. Mark…how was your Christmas? He deliberately paused to change the inflection in his voice. "Or… did you happen to forget about it?"9 Mark rolled his eyes. "Oh, stop with that already Luke. Come on, I had to leave something original for you guys to cover. I didn't want to take all your material…" Then it was Matthew's turn. "So, Dr. Luke, have you been self-medicating yourself for your ADHD? Every time I read your book it cracks me up how your text bounces around and tries to cover everything like you are Mr. History Channel." Luke shrugged and smiled. " I would rather be Mr. History Channel than Mr. Spoiler Alert over there," he responded by looking at John.10 "You guys are just jealous from all those awards I got in

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the Greek Literature category." "Nah, Luke, you just got those awards for being the only doctor with legible handwriting," teased Mark. Matthew piped up, "Ok, guys let's get serious, things might be starting to get interesting down below…" "So they go first with me, right? Since I am the first book of the Gospels?" "Umm no, come on you know that most people now think that Mark’s was actually written first," replied Luke. "People probably originally thought your Gospel was first because it was the most popular and well-liked gospel at the time." Luke continued. "Now I get two symbols right? One for each of my gospels, right?" Matthew and Mark shook their heads 'no' in agreement, as they often were. Matthew elaborated on behalf of Mark. "Um, no…Luke, we are tired of hearing your 'Gospel of the Apostles' idea already. Yes, Jesus makes cameo appearances11 and yes, it has lots of action in it like a Gospel but that doesn't quite make it a Gospel. I don't think the church Councils are going to ever change their mind on that. Besides, I can't imagine putting a fifth wheel on the Tetramorph… Its not something you should take camping after all, haha!" Mark turned to Matthew, wincing slightly. "Levi, don't try so hard to be funny. You seem to be taxing yourself." Mark always addressed Matthew as Levi 12 when teasing him about his past line of work, knowing full well that the meaning of the name Levi had nothing to do with 'levy.' Their focus returned to the screen. After some discussion, a lion graphic flashed on the screen and it was announced that Mark's symbol would be the Lion. "Yes!" cried Mark excitedly. "They nailed it! Remember when I wrote of John the Baptist preaching courageously like a lion roaring.13 My book emphasizes the kingly nature of Christ and the lion of course perfectly represents that as the king of the wild." "Plus everyone knows I (ahem) 'prey' frequently." "Ok, Mark, keep your (ahem, ahem) pride in check and don't copt such an attitude," said Luke, slightly jealous and always prepared to mete out some pun-ishment in return. "Yeah, now get a hair cut so they won't think its based on a physical resemblance," retorted Matt, even more jealous. But not too short and don't go bald. Don't want people calling you the Lion of Buddha after all." "It looks like some below are suggesting that people can add wings to the lion if they want. I believe that would be a griffin," said Luke, always showing off his knowledge of all things Greek. Soon a picture of a young bull flashed on the screen with Luke's name. "I like it, " Luke said in his usually demure manner typical of someone from Antioch (although some thought he mellowed even more by being around the Blessed Mother a lot). "It’s a symbol of service and strength. This is great. Actually, I have five jokes about oxen that I am anxious to try out…"14

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"Hey, you better not use 'for my jokes are easy and my burden is light'…that's one of my lines," interrupted Matthew. 15 John continued before it could get worse, …"and the ox is like the king of the domesticated animals. As you know, the ox is a symbol of sacrifice. Your book really demonstrates the sacrificial and atoning offering of Christ..and that's no bull." Luke continued, more serious now. "The domestication angle works for me. I didn't have much freedom to roam wild and spread the gospel late in my ministry. As you know, my best friend Paul kept ending up in the klink and I felt like I couldn't leave him. But hey, that is where we did some of our best preaching." Then the discussion turned to John's ministry and what his symbol would be. Matthew became even more jealous and impatient. He was so used to being thought of as the first of the Gospel writers. The early church fathers talked about what insights John must have had from his first-hand experience and being part of the "inner circle." They noted how his book was so much more different than the other three, with nearly 90% original content. They also mused about the third person references and the emphasis on signs and miracles. Parables weren't adequate for his lofty approach. They noted that he preferred allegories. An Eagle flashed on the screen. John reacted with pleasure. "Awesome. Can't wait to tell Isaiah the next time I see him.16 I am pleased that they understand me. While I was writing the book, I felt like I was a bird flying overhead, always providing a lofty and glorious account of the big picture. I always tried to write on a higher level that pointed towards heaven to emphasize Jesus' divinity." "Yeah, I agree. And your prologue is way epic,"17 added Luke. None of us wrote anything like that." Finally, it was Matthew's turn. He had always been somewhat humble but feigned a look of being sullen. "Don't feel so bad, Matt. How could you forget?" Luke asked playfully. "The first shall be last and the last shall be first, you know."18 Matthew's facial expression quickly rebounded to show that he was just playing around anyways. "So…" he said thinking aloud. "I see a pattern here: king of the beasts… king of the animals… and king of the air. So it looks like I am going to end up being the king of the sea, right? Well, that's pretty cool." He paused, puzzled. "Say, what is the king of the sea? Whale? Dolphin? Shark? Maybe one of those cool sailfish? Hah! I bet Jonah would know if he were here. Well, whatever it is I think its pretty appropriate. After all, my gospel was the most aquatic after all," recalling that only he included Peter walking out onto the water towards Jesus and the subsequent dramatic rescue. "19And who could ever forget my grand-daddy of all fishing stories--catching the fish that swallowed a coin!"20 "Hold on, Neptune-Boy and put down your trident," countered Mark, "they haven't announced it yet. 'Jesus playing lifeguard' was a nice touch, but two of us also did

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calming of the sea and I also did the fishing for people analogy.21 Two of us also did Jesus' late night walk on water. 22 You don't quite have a monopoly on the sea stories." They tried to listen in on the conversation below. It was somewhat garbled but they could make out a few words but none pertained to the sea or water. Matthew looked puzzled. Finally there was agreement. Matthew stood up in anticipation. An image flashed on the screen. It was an image of a man. His jaw dropped. Matthew was stunned. "What? A man? What sort of symbol is that?" he blurted out. "Is that was the best they could come up with? Ok, fine… I get it. Because of my background, they think I should be represented by a mere man?" 23 John immediately understood how Matthew was mistaken but he wanted to let it play out. Luke offered an explanation. "Don't be down on yourself. It’s a big complement. Man was created in the image and likeness of God.24 Plus, you focused on the human nature of Jesus more than the rest of us." Then Mark asked, "how do you know it’s a man?" Matthew responded, "What do you mean?" Mark replied. "It could be an angel. Dude, look out the window. Remember, real angels don't have wings?"25 Just then it was noted on the big screen that it was acceptable to add wings to the man symbol for emphasis if needed. Matthew seemed satisfied and relieved. "My Gospel does contain the most teachings about and references to angels. It makes sense to me now. I wrote how they protect and deliver God's people and guide and encourage believers. Just as my book is the bridge between the Old and the New Testament, angels are in a sense the bridge between heaven and earth. "I must confess," started John, "that I suspected these results all along. When I saw the four creatures of the Tetramorph in my visions,26 I knew that was the four of us. I thought for sure that the Eagle was me and had a pretty good idea on the other symbols for you guys. But I was never tempted to write it down. Like many of my writings, I thought it was best to leave the interpretation to the authority of the Church under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Luke couldn't resist sharing his scholarly knowledge. "I suspected as much. These symbols parallel the ancient Babylonian symbols derived from the Zodiac for air, water, earth and fire. And Matt, yours would actually correspond with Aquarius. So, you can think of yourself as an honorary king of the sea if you would like. In the same way that we targeted our audience, Ezekiel was no doubt learned in Babylonian myth and used their symbols to get Babylon's and Israel's attention in his prophecies. Incidentally, these four fixed zodiac constellations form the shape of a cross in the heavens." Mark added, "I am humbled by the lion symbol but I must admit that Peter, who was very influential on my writing, deserves (ahem) a lion's-share of the credit for my work. Its only fitting that the first vicar of Christ most influenced the Gospel that best shows…no offense guys… both the kingly and suffering nature of Christ. Peter's papal marytrdom reflects that."

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"So gentlemen," said John, "with Christianity recently becoming legalized and the Church fathers getting things in order, I expect the Church is really going to start to grow and the seeds that were planted are going to keep us busy for a very long time!" "Ok, I am good with that," exclaimed Matthew. Just then his phone hanging from his belt started buzzing. He glanced at it. "Well, now if you will excuse me. I have some incoming intercessions to attend to…" * * * Footnotes. 1. Ezekiel 1:4-19 2. Compare Ezekiel 1:6 and Revelation 4:8 3. Revelation 4: 6-8 4. Matt 13:31-32, Mark 4:30-32, Luke 13:18-19 (John excludes the mustard tree) 5. Matt 15:32-39 (John excludes the seven loaves story) 6. Mark 14:13 7. Revelation 1:9 8. Revelation 1:10-21:25 9. Mark 1:9 (Mark omits Nativity) 10. John 1:1-11 11. Acts 9:4-6, 10-16 12. Mark 2:14 13. Mark 1:2-7, 6:8 14. Luke 14:19 15. Matt 11:30 16. Isaiah 40:31 17. John 1:1-18 18. Matt 20:16 19. Matt 14:30-31 20. Matt 17:27 21. Mark 4:35-41, Luke 8:22-25 and Matthew 8:23-27; Mark 1:17 22 Mark 6:48-51, John 6:17-19 23. Mark 2: 14-16 24. Genesis 1:26 25. Genesis 18:1-3 26. Revelation 4: 6-8 Authors Note: Additional references and innuendo are italicized.