The Soul of Shame By Curt Thompson, MD - EXCERPT

8202019 The Soul of Shame By Curt Thompson MD - EXCERPT

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A U T H O R O F A N AT O M Y O F T H E S O U L

T H E

S O U L

O F

S H A M E

C U R T T H O M P S O N M D

R E T E L L I N G T H E S T O R I E S W E B E L I E V E A B O U T O U R S E L V E S





T H E

S O U L

O FS H A M E

R E T E L L I N G T H E S T O R I E S W E

B E L I E V E A B O U T O U R S E L V E S

CURT THOMPSON MD

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copy983090983088983089983093 by Curt Tompson

All rights reserved No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from

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students and faculty active on campus at hundreds of universities colleges and schools of nursing in the United

States of America and a member movement of the International Fellowship of Evangelical Students For

information about local and regional activities visit intervarsityorg

All Scripture quotations unless otherwise indicated are taken from HE HOLY BIBLE NEW INERNAIONAL

VERSION reg NIV reg Copyright copy 983089983097983095983091 983089983097983095983096 983089983097983096983092 983090983088983089983089 by Biblica Inctrade Used by permission All rights reserved

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While any stories in this book are true some names and identifying information may have been changed to protect

the privacy of individuals

Cover design Cindy Kiple

Interior design Beth McGill

Images copy MrsWilkinsiStockphoto

ISBN 983097983095983096-983088-983096983091983088983096-983092983092983091983091-983091 (print)

ISBN 983097983095983096-983088-983096983091983088983096-983097983096983095983092 (digital)

Printed in the United States of America

As a member of the Green Press Initiative InterVarsity Press is committed to protecting the environment

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Tompson Curt 983089983097983094983090-

Te soul of shame retelling the stories we believe about ourselves Curt Tompson MD

pages cm

Includes bibliographical references and index

ISBN 983097983095983096-983088-983096983091983088983096-983092983092983091983091-983091 (hardcover alk paper)

983089 ShamemdashReligious aspectsmdashChristianity 983090 ShamemdashBiblical teaching I itle

B983095983089983092983092983094 983090983088983089983093983090983091983091rsquo983093mdashdc983090983091

983090983088983089983093983088983089983096983096983091983093

P 983090983091 983090983090 983090983089 983090983088 983089983097 983089983096 983089983095 983089983094 983089983093 983089983092 983089983091 983089983090 983089983089 983089983088 983097 983096 983095 983094 983093 983092 983091 983090 983089

Y 983091983093 983091983092 983091983091 983091983090 983091983089 983091983088 983090983097 983090983096 983090983095 983090983094 983090983093 983090983092 983090983091 983090983090 983090983089 983090983088 983089983097 983089983096 983089983095 983089983094 983089983093




Contents

Introduction 983097

he Story hat Shame Is rying to ell

983089 Our Problem with Shame 983089983097

983090 How Shame argets the Mind 983091983095

983091 Joy Shame and the Brain 983093983095

983092 he Story o Shame You Are Living 983095983097

983093 Shame and the Biblical Narrative 983097983095

983094 Shamersquos Remedy Vulnerability 983089983089983093

983095 Our Healing Cloud o Witnesses 983089983091983091

983096 Redeeming Shame in Our Nurturing Communities 983089983093983089

983097 Renewing Vocational Creativity 983089983094983097

Acknowledgments 983089983096983097

Discussion Guide 983089983097983091

Notes 983090983088983089

Bibliography 983090983088983093




I983150983156983154983151983140983157983139983156983145983151983150

The Story ThatShame Is Trying to Tell

This is a book about shame You might wonder why we need another

book about the topic Shame has made an impressive resurgence in the

popular media as well as the academy It has been the ocus o helpul

impressive work by researchers such as Breneacute Brown and has become a

go-to topic o conversation or talk shows At one level this makes sense

given the place that shame has in our lives For indeed it is everywhere

and there is virtually nothing lef untainted by it

From our amily at home to the one at church From the bedroom to

the boardroom From school to work to play From the art studio to the

science and technology lab It is a primal emotional pigment that colors

the images o everything our bodies our marriages and our politicsour successes and ailures our riends and enemies especially the God

o the Bible who may at times eel like both It starts and (surprisingly)

ends wars only to start them again It uels injustice and creates our

excuses or doing little i anything about it It is a eatured tool or mo-

tivating students athletes and employees It enables us to conveniently

remain separate rom those we disagree with and who make us eel

uncomortable while keeping to those who will only tell us what wewant to hear

And yet Given the airplay it has received recently one would think

we would have it all pretty much packaged and wrapped We simply need




10486251048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

to do what we now know we can do to manage the problem Is it really

so complicated that we need yet another angle to approach it rom

And yet I the healing o shame were so straightorward why are we stillso easily buckled by it I yoursquore reading this you may perceive aint

awareness o shamersquos place in your lie but perhaps you are intrigued be-

cause more and more people are talking about it Or maybe you wrestle with

shame rather requently seeing it or suspecting it in much o your lie

Beyond this you may be tormented by it or even eel wrangled to the ground

by it you would excise it rom your lie i you could Its presence and activity

are undeniable as are your seemingly impotent tactics or addressing itDespite all we know about shame containing it let alone disposing o

it is a bit like grasping or mercury the more pressure you use to seize

it the more evasive it becomes In my previous book Anatomy of the

Soul I explored the intersection o Christian spiritual ormation and

findings rom the emerging field o interpersonal neurobiology As I

have had the privilege o walking with people in the context o that work

one theme continues to raise its head No matter the setting whether itis a retreat I am leading a business with which I am consulting a con-

erence I am addressing or patients I am sitting with shame eventually

makes its way to center stage Tough unpleasant its interpersonal neuro-

biological effects are ascinating while it simultaneously bends and

twists our narratives into painul story lines It is ubiquitous seeping into

every nook and cranny o lie It is pernicious inesting not just our

thoughts but our sensations images eelings and o course ultimately

our behavior It just doesnrsquot seem to go away

It is instructive to observe the way we respond to recent research that

has so helpully awakened us to shamersquos presence and the necessary place

o vulnerability in addressing it Given the tidal wave o interest (as o

this writing Brownrsquos ED talks have had over ten million views) one

would think that we were discovering shame or the first time in history

Indeed even in the hallowed halls o psychoanalysis shame has long

remained in the shadows and has only in the last ew decades been ound

important enough or writers and clinicians to bring it into the light

But then again havenrsquot we been here beore In 1048625104863310486321048632 John Bradshaw




he Story hat Shame Is rying to ell 10486251048625

gave us Healing the Shame Tat Binds You and the PBS series that ol-

lowed It has helped literally millions o readers and viewers You would

think given this resource that we would have made major gains in cor-recting our behavior as a culture and nation But strikingly shame seems

to have effectively slinked into the shadows only now again being er-

reted out by a new wave o hunters Apparently we either orgot what

Bradshaw and others were saying or never paid attention in the first

place It seems that virtually every generation has to go about the process

o discovering shame again or the first time Tis all reminds us that or

all o our hope in cultural progression in the deepest recesses o oursouls we sense that that is an illusion

Upon reflection perhaps this cycle is exactly what we should expect

rom shame It likes to do its work and when exposed retreat into the

shadows only then to remerge no less potently than beore But it is also

possible that the way shame operates is an extension o something larger

and more sinister And to realize this is also to realize that the healing o

shame is not merely going to be a unction o greater social awareness oit or a novel mental health exercise o effectively enter into the healing

o shame requires us to know the place it holds in our story as a human

race and that requires us to know which story exactly we believe we are

living in Tis book thereore is not just a book about shame It is a book

about storytellingmdashthe stories we tell about ourselves (which o course

include others and especially God) how we tell them and more impor-

tantly the story that shame is trying to tell about us

O983157983154 S983156983151983154983161 983137983150983140 S983144983137983149983141rsquo983155 S983156983151983154983161

O all the things that set us apart rom the rest o creation as humans one

eature stands out we tell stories No other creatures we know o tell

stories the way we do (Well itrsquos possible that certain plants and animals

tell stories Teyrsquore just not telling us) Whether we know it or not and

whether we intend to or not we live our lives telling stories in act we

donrsquot really know how to unction and not tell them We tell them or

many reasons We do so not just to describe what we are doing but to

make sense o what we have done Some may be amiliar with the idea




10486251048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

o our having a narrator that is inrequently quiet inorming us o the

lie we are living and not always using only words Each o us lives within

a story we believe we occupy Not all o us are equally conscious o thisDepending on which story we believe is the big story the one that unites

all the other stories and is the real story about the world shame will be

understood and dealt with accordingly

In this book I will examine shame in the context o the biblical nar-

rative And as I will suggest more directly later i shame is not under-

stood in this context it will become a powerul driving orce in telling a

different story Tere are alternatives to the biblical story that considershame differently than we will in this book For example it can be com-

prehended within some version o a naturalistic evolutionary ramework

but or my money that story has very little drama and no purpose It goes

nowhere It ends with the earth and humanity either flaming out or

reezing up and we are lef to make up our own existential meaning

while we wait or the end to come I thatrsquos the story wersquore living in shame

might be an interesting topic or a discussion but or the most part itsimply plays the role o emotional nausea

But what i shame is embedded in a story that does have purpose

Even more troubling what i it is being actively leveraged by the person-

ality o evil to bend us toward sin

ypically whenever researchers study and discuss shame we do so as

though it is some abstract emotional or cognitive phenomena We de-

scribe shame as something we would do well to better regulate but not as

an entity that has a conscious will o its own But I believe we live in a world

in which good and evil are not just events that happen to us but rather

expressions o something or someone whose intention is or good or or

evil And I will suggest that shame is used with this intention to dismantle

us as individuals and communities and destroy all o Godrsquos creation You

may not agree but even so I believe this book will still be helpul or you

Tis then is a book about the story o shame Te one we tell about it

the one it tells about us and even more so the one God has been telling

about all o us rom the beginning Most important this book also ex-

amines how the story o the Bible offers us a way not only to understand





shame but also to effectively put it to death even i that takes a lietime to

accomplish But putting shame to death is not simply about addressing it

as a deeply destructive emotional and relational nuisance For we cannotspeak o shame without speaking o creation and Godrsquos intention or it

From the beginning it has been Godrsquos purpose or this world to be one o

emerging goodness beauty and joy Evil has wielded shame as a primary

weapon to see to it that that world never happens Consequently to combat

shame is not merely to wrestle against something we detest It is to do that

very thing that provides the necessary space or each o us to live like God

become like Jesus and grow up to be who we were born to beTe premise o this book then is that shame is not just a consequence

o something our first parents did in the Garden o Eden It is the emo-

tional weapon that evil uses to (1048625) corrupt our relationships with God and

each other and (1048626) disintegrate any and all gifs o vocational vision and

creativity Tese gifs include any area o endeavor that promotes goodness

beauty and joy in and or the lives o others whether that be teaching our

first graders loving our spouse well managing orests conducting healingprayer services creating a new medical technology offering psychotherapy

or composing symphonies Shame is a primary means to prevent us rom

using the gifs we have been given And those gifs enable us to flourish as

a light-bearing community o Jesus ollowers who work to create space or

others who wish to join it to do so Shame thereore is not simply an

unortunate random emotional event that came with us out o the pri-

mordial evolutionary soup It is both a source and result o evilrsquos active

assault on Godrsquos creation and a way or evil to try to hold out until the new

heaven and earth appear at the consummation o history

However while this book holds shame to be within the context o a

grand story and so takes on its place and meaning within that storyrsquos

purpose lie the mechanics o how shame works Familiarity with those

mechanisms through the lens o interpersonal neurobiology though not

substantiating shamersquos teleology can open up ways or us to align our-

selves with the purpose that God has or a world in which mercy and

justice reign a world teeming with goodness and beauty and in which

joy o true relationship is our destiny




10486251048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

A T983137983148983141 983151983142 W983144983137983156 I983155 A983144983141983137983140

oward that end this book approaches our topic as ollows In chapter one

I will establish a working description o shame and what we assume it to

mean or our purposes I will describe how we generally experience it and

what its nature tends to be in everyday lie Chapters two and three engage

our quarry rom an interpersonal neurobiological (IPNB) approach We

will take a tour o what the mind is and what it means to flourish rom an

IPNB perspective ollowed by an introduction to how shame operates as

a disintegrating orce within the mind relationships and communities

Tis sets the stage or chapter our which reminds us that at our core we

are storytelling creatures o know your story is to know shamersquos place in it

Here we will explore some eatures o stories in general how we tell them

and the value o knowing which story you believe you are living in We will

see shamersquos potential both as cause and effect o the stories we construct

Chapter five invites us specifically into the biblical narrative offering one

way o considering shame in light o the story that ollowers o Jesus believe

they occupy We consider how in the Genesis account o creation shame is

eatured as something that evil has been wielding rom the very beginning

to corrupt Godrsquos intended creation o goodness and beauty

Chapter six introduces us to the ulcrum on which the healing o

shame hangs in the balance We will discuss the deep reality o what it

means that (1048625) we are relational and thereore necessarily vulnerable

beings and (1048626) the healing o shame begins and ends in the experience

o being known a biblical notion that begins in the heart o God is o-

ered to humans in Genesis and reaches its culmination on Good Friday

Healing shame requires our being vulnerable with other people in em-

bodied actions Tere is no other way but shame will as we will see

attempt to convince us otherwise

Chapter seven offers a model or what it means to directly address shame

in concrete ways Passages rom the epistle to the Hebrews and the Gospel

o John will serve as guides or implementing the requirements necessary

or us to not only heal shame but to begin to see how its redemption leads

to greater relational integration and opportunity or creative endeavor

Chapter eight then extends the path o what we learn in chapter seven into





the primary communities in which we are nurtured our amily the church

and our educational institutions We will see how these realms have their

particular ways o incubating shame and what we can explicitly do to re-imagine our stories in these most ormative o settings

Tis brings us to the bookrsquos culmination in chapter nine in which we

will explore how shamersquos healing leads to renewed vitality in the multiple

ways God has called us For in our deliverance rom shame we are not

simply liberated to be nicer happier people rather we are redeemed to

live into those multiple roles o callingmdashrom parenting to teaching to

engineeringmdashwith joyul creativityReading this book will require varying degrees o effort or any number

o reasons Combating shame requires more work than you might

imagine I say this not because I am in any way impressed with what is

written here or how it has been said itrsquos not as i the ideas are original to

me or they certainly arenrsquot Nor do I say it because I have slain all my

dragons o shamemdashar rom it Rather it is just the opposite I am deeply

aware o how difficult it is to directly conront this problem I am livingproo o this In act the very act o writing this book has revealed more

spaces within my inner lie that shame inhabits than I would like to admit

Te process has activated a whole host o eelings that include ears o

inadequacy worries that I will not be clear or correct or effective con-

cerns that whatever I may have to say someone else could say it better

more simply and certainly not require the reader to work so hard to get

through all the ink on the paper I didnrsquot expect that writing a book on

shame would be the very thing that revealed just how deeply rooted

shame is in me But rankly i putting shame to death requires this much

hard work I would rather have olks along or the journey who are willing

to do the same reminding me that I am not alone in the process

A F983141983159 C983137983158983141983137983156983155

In this book I do not address the distinctives that pertain to shame cul-

tures shame-honor cultures or shame societies vis-agrave-vis guilt cultures

Much has been published on these topics and they are not unhelpul in

providing a window through which we can understand societal behavior




10486251048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

Suffice it to say however we choose to talk about cultures as a whole each

one has its own particular way o maniesting shame and guilt Tese

words symbolize human experience that is universal although certainlythe socialization o these undamental emotional states is bound to shape

how we interpret them Tese categories o shame-honor and guilt cul-

tures do not imply either that shame cultures do not know about or ex-

perience the phenomenon o guilt or that guilt cultures do not expe-

rience shame In this book we are exploring shame not as a socially

constructed finding but rather an interpersonal neurobiological event

Tis is not to say that what you find here is the last word on shame or theonly or even the best way to comprehend it Rather this is hopeully one

way to approach it such that we may live more ully integrated lives

On another ront I do not address to what degree shame is a good

thing something that we require in society to ensure that people will

behave appropriately In this book I am not debating this question nor

in any way suggesting that all shame experience is necessarily bad

Indeed it is reasonable to assume that shame as an interpersonal neuro-biological process plays a necessary role in helping us develop proper

sel-regulatory behavior However it is equally true that many behaviors

that are not deterred (but that we believe should be) emerge rom estab-

lished shame-based patterns o lie that precede said behaviors It is

beyond the scope o this book to explore every aspect o our topic My

intention here is to address those universal experiences o shame that

lead to disintegrated states o mind that end in disintegrated commu-

nities with little creative capacity or goodness and beauty

Still questions may remain Exploring in the way I propose might we

not run the risk o dismissing the necessary helpul aspects o shame too

easily Without it wonrsquot we devolve into madness Moreover is there not

a clear difference between the shame elt by a woman who commits

adultery and a woman who is raped

Although these are not unimportant questions they are not the

primary subject o our inquiry nor is there space in this volume to ad-

dress all o the questions that our topic invariably raises However a

world in which shame did not exist would also be one in which those





very behaviors we ear would be unleashed would not likely exist either

given how many o them emerge out o shame in the first place And yes

the story o an adulteress is quite different rom that o a rape victim Butthe shame that the victim o sexual assault eels is ofen no more easily

healed than that o a woman involved in an affair ldquosimplyrdquo because the

ormer ldquoknowsrdquo her shame was not a result o her actions For indeed

shamersquos power lies not so much in acts that we can clariy but rather in

its emotional state which is so much harder to shake

Troughout this book you will read the stories o people like you and

me who are wrestling with shame and doing their best to fix their eyeson Jesus do what he did and despise it on the way to being liberated to

create as they were so intended rom the beginning No matter i you are

one who is simply curious about shame or find yoursel buried under-

neath it I believe this book can offer help and hope

I acknowledged earlier that you may be either unamiliar with or do

not believe the story the Bible tells Well yoursquore in good company Tere

are many days that I have a hard time believing it mysel Te very natureo the world is such that at times it takes near Herculean effort to maintain

the conviction that Jesus is real that God is truly loving and that we are

at war with evil Tis book thereore is no proo text about anything It

is rather an invitation to be known to be loved (whether you believe in

God or not) but also to join me and others to risk all you have on a God

who would rather die than let anything come between us all As you read

this invitation then you may find some practical help or dealing with

shame (especially as you apply the elements o IPNB) even i the big story

o the Bible doesnrsquot yet eel comortable enough to try on At the very least

Irsquoll be glad to know that in having read this book you have ound yoursel

to be drawn into relationships that are more joyul and intimate engaged

in work that is more meaningul and creative and casting a vision or

seeing goodness and beauty where perhaps beore you did not

At the bookrsquos conclusion you will find questions associated with each

chapter or urther discussion Shame is not something we ldquofixrdquo in the

privacy o our mental processes evil would love or us to believe that to

be so We combat it within the context o conversation prayer and other




10486251048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

communal embodied actions Tereore I encourage you to use the

questions not only or your own personal use but also or engaging one

another as a means o healing in real time and spaceWith these thoughts in mind I invite you to join me in discovering

the soul o shame the story it is trying to tell and the alternative story o

goodness and beauty that God is telling one that God is imagining or

us all one in which he is doing ldquoimmeasurably more than all we ask or

imagine according to his power that is at work within usrdquo




Our Problem with Shame

No Irsquom not willing to do thatrdquo He was succinct and clear I inquired

what he elt as he imagined telling his wie about the affair ldquoerrifiedrdquo

O what I asked He could only describe in vague terms the abject sense

o humiliation he would have to endure should this illicit relationship

come to light

She was the chie executive o a successul marketing firm and had relied

on her hard-driving style to get things done She was bewildered that her

company was listing and her effort to work harder was not effectively

righting the ship She was running out o ideas I inquired as to whom

she could ask or help Without hesitation she inormed me that to admit

she needed assistance was tantamount to resigning ldquoI canrsquot afford not to

have ideas that work I I have to ask or help I will be seen as incom-

petent and the board will fire merdquo

ldquoShe didnrsquot get in and Irsquom worried about what this will mean or her

uturerdquo Tis coming rom a mother who had worked diligently to do her

part to help her daughter gain entrance to her top school choice Tis

might be understandable except or the act that her daughter was only

three years old




10486261048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

Why had no one protected her By the time she was twenty-six she had

slept with over fifeen men and endured two abortions But the sex had

begun when she was eleven with an uncle who had first treated her asspecial but eventually threatened her very lie i she were to reveal the

horror Tis lasted until she was seventeen when she lef or college

where she was ree o her uncle but imprisoned to the behavior that was

the only path she knew to ldquointimacyrdquo with a man How in the world was

she to tell her parents let alone riends or anyone in her aith com-

munity Te only reason she was telling me was that her depression had

become too overwhelming or her to unction

Te hypothesis had finally been proven Te elegant biochemistry the

complex statistical analysis o the patientsrsquo clinical responses to the drug

and a little luck had all added up All the work all the long hours away

rom his amily all the grant money spentmdashit was all finally worth it

Along with this discovery would certainly come the offer o a tenuredposition he had long coveted and that the university would be unable to

deny him Not to mention the potential earnings once the patent came

through Tere was only one problem An ethics board that was tasked

to make sure his labrsquos research was beyond reproach had ound some

questionable data reporting And beore the week was over his lie was

unraveling aster than he could have imagined the result o someonersquos

need to make history fighting cancer

He began drinking when he was thirteen He had two DUIs by the time

he was twenty the second one landing him in jail or a month Tat was

more than two decades ago beore he met Jesus But in the last five years

the bourbon had begun to flow again most evenings afer everyone went

to bed His wie had inormed him that i the drinking didnrsquot stop she

was leaving and taking the children with her Ten there was the issue o

his work How exactly would he tell the people o his congregation

where he had been the pastor or fifeen years Jim Beam seemed to be




Our Problem with Shame 10486261048625

the only thing that helped him hang on in the ace o the burnout he elt

shepherding such a challenging flock

O983157983154 S983156983151983154983145983141983155 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

Stories Each o us has one and at some point the people in the previous

scenarios sat in my office telling me his or hers And theirs are just the tip

o the iceberg Tere are many more each with different screenplays each

that emerges rom a different amily o origin each with its own particular

joys and sorrows victories and deeats No matter what initially brings

them to see me their stories eventually lead to the moment when what Ibelieve to be the lowest common denominator in human relationships

makes its way into the room It matters not i the person earns a two-

comma salary or works or minimum wage She may be married or single

He may be Arican American or Caucasian Depressed anxious or just

plain angry happy sad or indifferent He may be the ather or the son the

employer or employee It may be an individual a couple amily com-

munity school or business organization And you neednrsquot have everdarkened the office door o a psychiatrist It doesnrsquot require the breakdown

o our mental health to be plagued with it It only requires that you have a

pulse o be human is to be inected with this phenomenon we call shame

Shame is something we all experience at some level more consciously

or some than or others O course there are the obvious examples that

come to mind times we have elt everything rom slight embarrassment

to deep humiliation Te tabloids are rie with cover stories o the latestollies o celebrities or politicians who have behaved badly But many o

us carry shame less publicly ofen outside the easy view o even some o

our closest riends Unemployment Having a amily member whose al-

coholism is displayed in ront o your riends Losing a major account at

work Te breakup o a marriage Our childrsquos seeming disinterest in

school A boss whose motivational tactic is to regularly compare your

work to that o someone else who is outperorming you Any o these

more common scenarios carry the burden o shame in ways that we work

hard to cover up And our coping strategies have become so automatic

that we may be completely unaware o its presence and activity




10486261048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

Shame can vary in its range rom the most relationally subtle waysmdashthe

condescending glance or tone o voice rom one spouse to anothermdashto

wholesale cultural movements that involve groups communities and even-tually nations that war against nationsmdashthe biblical story o Dinah in

Genesis 10486271048628 racial bigotry and suppression or the murder o a woman or

having publicly shamed her amily known commonly in some cultures as

an honor killing It is thereore not merely a unction o the things I think

or say about mysel or others nor is it limited to what happens between two

individuals It can move stealthily rom the bedroom or kitchen to the

playing field to the boardroom to the Situation Room where decisions aremade on a global scale In this way even the slightest shaming interactions

between individuals can eventually grow into conflagrations that involve

multiple parties Longstanding conflicts such as those in the Middle East or

East Los Angeles are evidence that when individuals do not address the

shame they experience at a personal level the potential kindling effect can

eventually engul whole regions o humanity One o the purposes o this

book is to emphasize that what we do with shame on an individual level haspotentially geometric consequences or any o the social systems we occupy

be that our amily place o employment church or larger community

It is also important at the outset o this book to note that I do not

consider this inestation to be neutral or benign Tis is not merely a elt

emotion that eventually morphs into words such as ldquoIrsquom badrdquo As I will

suggest this phenomenon is the primary tool that evil leverages out o

which emerges everything that we would call sin As such it is actively

intentionally at work both within and between individuals Its goal is to

disintegrate any and every system it targets be that onersquos personal story

a amily marriage riendship church school community business or

political system Its power lies in its subtlety and its silence and it will

not be satisfied until all hell breaks loose Literally

Over the last ten years I have been privileged to walk with people as

they have been courageously engaging their stories moving to places o

greater depth and connection with God and others while applying new

insights that have emerged rom the field o interpersonal neurobiology

which I explore in Anatomy of the Soul Tey have learned about various





domains o the mind and what it means to love God and others with all

o it Tey have realized what it means to pay attention to what they pay

attention to the overarching role o emotion in human activity howmemory is as much about predicting the uture as it is about recalling

the past how their patterns o attachments with their primary caregivers

and current intimate relationships shape their experiences o God that

our awareness o Godrsquos deep joyul pleasure with us at all times every-

where changes everything about how we interpret what we sense image

eel think and do that lie is not about not being messy but about being

creative with the messes we have that ruptures will occur but resilienceand lie is to be ound in how we repair them and that Jesus has come

not only to show us how to do all o the aorementioned but to empower

us to do so on the way to Godrsquos kingdom coming in its ullness

All this has been very good news or many However invariably on the

way to greater reedom they must pass as we all do through a common

place o suffering the place o shame It may be cloaked in the minute

details o onersquos narrative or on public display It may be obscured in thelanguage o other emotions we are more amiliar with such as sadness

anger disappointment or even guilt Or it may be a deeply consciously

elt presence in many o our waking hours We may have different events

images words or explicit eelings that represent it It may be consumptive

or we may barely notice its activity in our day-to-day comings and goings

Eventually however we all come ace to ace with this specter the (vir-

tually) unspoken primal obstacle to our growth and flourishing and it

seems there is no getting around it

What then exactly is this thing we are calling shame How do we

distinguish it in the moment it occurs From the countless hours spent

with people on their respective pilgrimages it seems that even defining

it is no easy task which as I will invite you to consider later is part o

shamersquos intention For its elusiveness is a key element o its power We

can use various words such as humiliation embarrassment indignity dis-

grace or more And though these words get close to what we really mean

ultimately they are essentially symbols that represent the actual neuro-

psychological state we enter when we experience it




10486261048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

It is not easy to wrap a simple classification or explanation around our

topic However despite the challenge o developing such a universally

accepted definition o shame there are particular qualities about it thatwe immediately recognize as being common to our experience o it

M983151983154983141 T983144983137983150 983137 F983141983141983148983145983150983143

One way to approach its essence is to understand it as an undercurrent o

sensed emotion o which we may have either a slight or robust impression

that should we put words to it would declare some version o I am not

enough Tere is something wrong with me I am bad or I donrsquot matter But we would be mistaken i we thought that the story o shame

begins with those words or that they tell it in its entirety For although

we come to understand much o who we are via the medium o language

as a way to make sense o reality our lives emerge most primally in the

orms o bodily sensations and movements perceptions and emotions

Emotion itsel could be considered to be the gasoline in our human tank

I we were to take emotion out o the human experience we would lit-erally stop moving Hence although the description o our experience

o shame is ofen couched in words its essence is first elt Tough I may

say ldquoI should have been better at thatrdquo or ldquoIrsquom not good enoughrdquo the

power o those moments lies in our emotional response to the evoking

stimulus be that a comment a glance or a recollection o that day in

third grade when your teacher pointed out in ront o the rest o the class

that you werenrsquot that brightWe use many different words to convey various bandwidths o emo-

tional tone We know that pleasure and sadness are different that disap-

pointment and anger are not elt to be the same But it is revealing that

so many o what we would term ldquonegativerdquo emotions (ie those that we

find generally to be distressing in some way) are actually rooted in shame

Again by shame I am not talking about something that necessarily re-

quires the intensity o extreme humiliation Rather it is born out o a

sense o ldquothere being something wrongrdquo with me or o ldquonot being enoughrdquo

and thereore exudes the aroma o being unable or powerless to change

onersquos condition or circumstances





Te important eature here is not just the fact that I am not enough to

change my lie (though o course the act is necessary as part o the expe-

rience) but rather the felt sense that I do not have what it takes to toleratethis moment or circumstance Tere are other examples o this Qualita-

tively we would not usually associate sadness with shame I I lose my best

riend to cancer I do not initially anticipate that shame would be any-

where close to what I would eel But sadness though certainly not always

is ofen related to a lessening A lessening o relationship (such as death

or a betrayal) unction or agency (unemployment or an amputation) or

the nature o onersquos story (discovering as an adult or instance that whenyou were a child your ather had had an affair and athered a child you

have never known about lessening the confidence you have in your place

in your amily) In each case we inevitably encounter the moment when

we are not enough to change our reality as we are currently imagining it

As such this ldquonot being enoughrdquo to tolerate this moment is the grounding

or how shame operates albeit in dimensions o mental activity that may

escape my immediate awareness o it as shameTe purpose here is not to prove that all emotion that we experience

as uncomortable is rooted in shame but that we notice many o the

emotions that represent distress within us are an extended development

o this particular emotional state Out o this state then arise words that

we use to make sense o it so that we can do something about it When

Alison brought her test result to her mother showing a score o 10486331048626 percent

her mother asked ldquoWhat happened to the other 1048632 percentrdquo It doesnrsquot

take much to imagine what Alison sensed and elt nor would it be a

surprise i you were to learn that in the wake o multiple interactions like

this one Alison developed a knack or telling hersel (among many pos-

sible options) that she simply had not worked hard enough Furthermore

she would go on to tell hersel that she needed to work harder in order

to improve her scores She would not necessarily be aware that such sel-

talk was primarily about coping with shame despite this being the most

undamental thing she is doing And so out o the eelings o shame

come the words I donrsquot work hard enough

However soon enough the words we use double back to reinorce the




10486261048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

eelings Alison by repeatedly telling hersel that she is never working hard

enough (and thereore needs to work harder) deepens the elt sensation o

shame Hence an unending loop is created sensations and eelings begetthoughts that in turn strengthen the elt experience And so we see that

shame is certainly ormed in the world o emotion but it eventually re-

cruits and involves our thinking imaging and behaving as well

Tus rom the outset we come to the realization that shame is both

ubiquitous in its presence (there is no person or experience it does not

taint) and infinitely shape-shifing in its presentation I it were a member

o the Periodic able o elements it might be carbon the element commonto all living organisms Tat it is so undamental within our existence also

makes it quite challenging to root out I we approach it as a problem that

we can solve merely by changing how or what we think we are likely to

limit our effectiveness in combating it Tis is what Matt discovered

As a marketing executive he had developed a successul business and

now had several employees working or him He was conscientious and

cared about his workers treating them generously and justly But heworried that at any moment the economy would shif enough that he

would have to lay someone off or worse that the business would ail

outright which at times kept him up at night He was insightul enough

to recognize that he could not control all the variables that determined

whether his company would survive urthermore he easily admitted that

he worried too much about well just about everything He came or help

because he saw his problem primarily as one o anxiety it was not de-

bilitating but present enough to get his wiersquos attention It was not making

sense to her (and eventually to him) that despite the steady progression

o his business Matt sometimes would find himsel ruminating about

how he and his amily would one day end up living in a box under a

bridge One noteworthy caveat was how effectively he compartmentalized

all o this Anyone who knew him apart rom his wie would never have

guessed that he had a care in the world as he had practiced how to effec-

tively manage his concerns when in the presence o just about everyone

ironically because as he would later tell me he worried about what people

would think o him i they knew about how much he worried Go figure





He came to see me to explore the possibility o using cognitive therapy

to restructure his thinking about his lie Tis was a reasonable goal as

cognitive-based interventions have been demonstrated to be effective intreating a number o emotional problems especially anxiety But despite

Mattrsquos best efforts he continued to eel wrapped around the axle o an

imagined catastrophic uture One o the most glaring troubles or him was

the reality that his lie with God did not seem to be able to budge his in-

cessant trend toward ruminating about disaster Despite the act that his

relationship with Jesus was the most important thing in his lie thinking

and reflecting on Scripture passages that admonished him to leave anxietyat the door only lef him standing at the doorrsquos threshold right along with

his worry For him it was not until we began to explore the nature o his

experience as one that was felt sensed and imaged as much as it was thought

that he began to gain some traction in overcoming his problem

For instance we quickly uncovered that what he elt as worry was

ofen correlated with thoughts such as I wonrsquot be able to figure out what

to do if the work starts to drop off (Tis despite his having navigated e-ectively more than one downturn in business over the course o his

career) Or even more commonly he ound himsel thinking Sooner or

later Irsquom going to be found out to be the fraud I am He agreed that most

o his riends would find his way o thinking hard to athom given his

consistent history o competence Mattrsquos interest was in conronting

these thoughts with alternative thinking processes Tis is standard op-

erating procedure or cognitive-behavioral therapy But in his case we

ound that despite his best effort at restructuring his thinking this ap-

proach still lef him with the residual feeling that undergirded the thought

I do not have what it takes When it will count most I will not be enough

On the surace o Mattrsquos complaint it appeared that his primary

problem was one o anxiety and surely anxiety was a problem But urther

exploration revealed that under all o this was a deep sense that he simply

did not have what it took to be effective a sensation that was not reducible

to a statement but rather something that seemed to have been woven into

his DNA Although we ofen try to get our minds around shame by using

language (which is not unimportant) its essence precedes language we




10486261048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

thereore ofen have difficulty regulating it by using words elling our-

selves we shouldnrsquot be ashamed ofen only reinorces it

J983157983140983143983141 N983151983156 L983141983155983156 Y983141 B983141 J983157983140983143983141983140

One o the hallmarks o shame is its employment o judgment Here by

judgment I am not reerring to the necessary everyday process o dis-

cernment required by each o us or navigating our lives wisely Nor am

I considering the actions taken by maturing flourishing people to set

appropriate limits or themselves or others be that within a amily

church business or government Rather I am reerring to the spirit ocondemnation or condescension with which we analyze or critique

something whether ourselves or someone or something else I may say

to mysel I should have done better at that assignment What is crucial is

the emotional tone that undergirds those words Te spirit o judgment

Jesus warned against is such a common part o our mental lives that we

barely notice its presence In act it can become so automatic that its

maniestation does not require spoken words but rather presents assomething elt Nor is it necessary to be overtly harsh indeed much o

what passes as ldquoreasonable observationsrdquo about ourselves or others is

merely cloaked judgment

Will believed he knew how to get the most out o his employees which

was to regularly point out their shortcomings so as to ldquoencouragerdquo im-

provement He was unaware that his constant criticism was one o the

reasons there was such a high turnover rate in his company He hadalways assumed that people simply were either unwilling to work hard

or to accept honest eedback It never occurred to him that his penchant

or managing people in this way was rooted in his own sense o inade-

quacy and shame which he had learned to cope with by turning it

outward toward others

Parents experience a similar result when we have to discipline our

children especially our teenagers whom we believe we can reason with

by the use o our impeccable logic (letting them know that ours is pa-

tently obvious and theirs is groundless) We believe we are merely cor-

recting their actions but ail to see that in offering what we consider to





be necessary measures shame enters the process We are perplexed at

why they donrsquot respond to our logical arguments or why they shouldnrsquot

be smoking pot or hooking up with their riendsBut it is important to be aware that the act o judging others has its

origins in our sel-judgment As I ofen tell patients ldquoShamed people

shame peoplerdquo Long beore we are criticizing others the source o that

criticism has been planted ertilized and grown in our own lives di-

rected at ourselves and ofen in ways we are mostly unaware o Suffice

to say that our sel-judgment that tendency to tell ourselves that we are

not enoughmdashnot thin enough not smart enough not unny enoughnot enoughmdashis the nidus out o which grows our judgment o others

not least being our judgment o God Te problem is that we have con-

structed a sophisticated lattice o blindness around this behavior which

disallows our awareness o it

Eventually judgment and the shame that is its master can become

the source o an ever-enlarging circle o conflict We have all had experi-

ences in which someonersquos criticism o another even though subtle at firstexpands to include additional people until whole systems are involved

and corrupted by it Soon enough what started out as Maryrsquos stated

opinion about Stanrsquos proposal during the school board meeting devolved

into entire groups o people publicly choosing sides not just about how

to spend several thousand dollars but privately about personalities with

anger and hurt strewn everywhere in its wake It doesnrsquot take much to

make the jump to how these orms o conflict writ large on the com-

munity or world stage lead to the violence we see all around us

H983145983140983141 983137983150983140 S983141983141983147

Another eature o shamersquos presentation is that o hiding Whether it is

the involution into the silence o our own minds or the literal turning

away rom someone with a downcast acial expression with eyes lowered

shame leads us to cloak ourselves with invisibility to prevent urther

intensification o the emotion It is not hard to bring to mind a secret you

have worked hard to keep as a countermeasure against the rejection you

anticipate you will have to endure should someone find out the truth




10486271048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

about you Te expense o this labor is ofen buried as hidden cost as we

collect multiple secrets and keep them neatly stacked in our closetsmdash

until the closet can no longer contain themTis clandestine behavior maniests across the entire spectrum o what

we would generally consider to be noble or ignoble activity We can be a

elon or a Rhodes Scholar In either case we will have elements o our lie

that are expressions o shame hidden in our embezzlement or our ap-

pointment to the Federal Court o Appeals bench Stephenrsquos diligent work

was certainly a tribute to his devotion to having spent hours honing his

skill as a trial lawyer But afer his marriage began to crumble under theweight o having committed ar less energy to his wie and children than

to his clients he was brought up short Although judged by his peers to

be unsurpassed in his proession he eventually was willing to admit that

a great deal o his work was energized by his longstanding worry o being

ound out to be wrong Wrong about a case Wrong about his choice o

proession Wrong about his ideas about politics or theology Wrong

about his ideas about God He recounted how growing up his amilydinner table conversations ostensibly couched merely as playul verbal

jousting became his atherrsquos opportunity to criticize his ideasmdashall in the

name o needing to make sure Stephenrsquos thinking was sound about every-

thing Eventually this gave birth to not only a way o studying but also

living in general that made the management o eeling ldquonot smart enoughrdquo

his number one emotional priority Given his otherwise amiable and kind

demeanor no one would have guessed the degree to which he covertly

lived in the midst o his shame

Gloria spent thirty years o marriage to a man she loved beore coming

to terms with the abortion she had had as a teenagermdashbut had never

revealed to her husband Not until she ound hersel on the brink o a

psychiatric implosion did she begin to consider her history It is standard

practice or me to inquire in the very first session with patients about

their sexual history or i they have endured any significant sexual

physical or emotional trauma as they understand it Despite this it was

not until I had been seeing Gloria or about two months that she was

finally able to tell her story as i she had been unaware o it at the time





o our first encounter As the veterans o Alcoholics Anonymous report

we are only as sick as the secrets we keep And shame is committed to

keeping us sick

C983137983157983143983144983156 983145983150 983156983144983141 L983151983151983152

We recognize early and ofen that shame tends to be sel-reinorcing

When we experience shame we tend to turn away rom others because

the prospect o being seen or known by another carries the anticipation

o shame being intensified or reactivated However the very act o

turning away while temporarily protecting and relieving us rom oureeling (and the gaze o the ldquootherrdquo) ironically simultaneously reinorces

the very shame we are attempting to avoid Notably we do not neces-

sarily realize this to be happeningmdashwersquore just trying to survive the

moment But indeed this dance between hiding and eeling shame itsel

becomes a tightening o the noose We eel shame and then eel shame

or eeling shame It begets itsel

Athletic and attractive no one would have suspected it o her at firstglance Nancy had been bingeing and purging or the better part o

fifeen years She had kept it a secret rather effectively rom the time she

was a teenager until she was into her first year o marriage When her

husband Mark first discovered it he immediately suggested they both

seek proessional help but she stonewalled He was stunned at this

skeleton in her closet given how well he thought they had worked at

being honest in their communication heading into marriage Now hesimply elt helpless to do anything about it Every time he raised his

concern Nancy firmly and sometimes harshly redirected the conver-

sation indicating that the very act o talking about it unleashed an un-

bearable torrent o shame which made it impossible or her to even look

at him And so she turned away Away rom Mark away rom the im-

mediacy o the sensation o shame and toward the very behaviors that

would only increase the burden o shame she carried over time Every

time this cycle repeated itsel every time she attempted to deflect her

shame by turning she revolved into an ever more tightly spun spool o

that which she was hoping to avoid becoming




10486271048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

D983145983158983145983140983141 983137983150983140 C983151983150983153983157983141983154

Isolation and disconnection are natural consequences o hiding and re-

sisting reengagement With enough reinorcement o the eatures we have

thus ar considered we see how the outcome is the separation o people

rom one another In any o the previous examples relational disintegration

is obvious But this isolation is not limited to that between people For as

we will see in chapter two the undamental neurobiology o the experience

o shame disintegrates different neural networks and their corresponding

unctions within each individual brain isolating them causing the mind to

be decreasingly flexible in its capacity to adapt to its environment In order

or us to flourish we need to be able to connect with others but this con-

nection is deeply rooted in our ongoing work to increase the degree o

connection we experience within our own minds As Daniel Siegel and

others have pointed out this process o intra- and interpersonal integration

is a dance that depends on the fluid movement between the work o the

individual and that o a community1 I need the community in order or my

mind to be integrated and with a more integrated mind I will be more able

to work toward a more integrated community which reinorces the cycle

Shame both actively dismantles and urther prohibits this process o inte-

gration leading to disconnection between mental processes within an in-

dividualrsquos mind as well as between individual members within a community

As a child and adolescent Helen had never considered her amily to

be broken It never struck her as odd that her older brother Jack consis-

tently received attention rom her parents (especially her mother) that

she did not She simply attributed it to the act that he had been the

golden boy o their local school and church community his reward was

well-deserved Her parents were quick to publicly shower accolades on

him but offered nary a mention o her Tis pattern continued into

adulthood even when Helen and Jack were married and had children o

their own Jackrsquos children received particular affection which Helenrsquos did

not Her response was simply to work harder to gain her parentsrsquo affir-

mation now or her children as much as or hersel

Eventually it all became too much During one amily reunion when

the conversation again turned naturally to all that Jack had been accom-





plishing at his work and then moved to his sonrsquos new interest in baseball

Helen longing to be seen offered how delighted she had been at her

daughterrsquos interest in lacrosse She might as well have been speaking to anempty chair Her mother ignoring Helenrsquos comment asked what position

Jackrsquos son liked to play No one was prepared or what happened next

It began with the slinging o a plate o ood and the breaking o a wine

glass Her tirade erupted and continued or ten uninterrupted minutes

with orty years o neglect and hurt spewing over anyone within earshot

and sightline It only stopped when the emotional ammunition chamber

was empty She and her husband lef without waiting or a response romher brother or parents Predictably in the afermath and attempted cleanup

o the brouhaha her parents said nothing about the past orty years or the

role they played in it Tey only had words or the last ten minutes Helen

spent at the reunion and all o the trouble she had caused Tey expected

her to make things right and especially with her brother O course

Helenrsquos story reflects how the shame o emotional neglect even and

perhaps particularly because o how unremarkable it seemed in the earlyyears o her lie led to her eeling isolated and cut off rom her amily Even-

tually this led to an event in which the whole system was disintegrating

Given shamersquos intention to provoke the process o isolation neither Helen

nor her amily system had the wherewithal to repair the toxic rupture

In all these eatures o shame emotion is at the heart o the matter

judgment is actively in play In their hiding people become disconnected

rom each other and within their own minds and the process tends to

snowball caught in a sel-perpetuating loop Is there hope or us For-

tunately there remains one response to shame that can begin to point us

in the right direction

O983157983154 C983151983157983150983156983141983154983145983150983156983157983145983156983145983158983141 C983151983150983142983148983145983139983156

With little effort we can get a sense o how the essential eeling o shame

would lead to judging hiding reinorcement and isolation It is not so

straightorward to see that exposure is the very thing that shame requires

or healing Given how compelled we eel to turn away strike inward at

ourselves or strike out at others in response to shame it is not our intuition




10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

to then quickly turn toward the other as a means to resolve the problem

When we are in the middle o a shame storm it eels virtually impossible

to turn again to see the ace o someone even someone we might otherwiseeel sae with It is as i our only reuge is in our isolation the prospect o

exposing what we eel activates our anticipation o urther shame

Te work required to overcome the inertia o shame and turn in a

posture o vulnerability toward someone else can initially eel over-

whelming Later we will consider tactics or beginning this process in

earnest But it is helpul to remember that part o shamersquos power lies in

its ability to isolate both within and between minds Te very thing thathas the power to heal this emotional nausea is the reunion o those parts

o us that have been separated

Te school system in which Jordan had grown up prided itsel in the

number o gifed and talented programs it provided or elementary and

middle school children and then the number o AP courses it offered its

high school students What had started out as an attempt to provide

more opportunity or students however eventually devolved into acauldron o pressure and anxiety or students and parents alike Instead

o providing an opportunity or expanding curiosity and deepening

character teachers wound up being caught in the same vortex eeling

the pressure to train their students to score well on AP exams so they

could get in the best colleges No longer was school and the learning it

represented joy filled Instead it had become a actory o worry Worry

that was ueled by shame Te institutional shame that the school and all

o its partsmdashtest scores students teachers and administratorsmdashcarried

was subtle but palpable All driven by the ear that no matter how many

graduating seniors were admitted to Ivy League universities they would

eventually be judged and ound wanting

By the time Jordan had finished graduate school and had begun his

work as a high school English teacher he wanted lie or his students to

be different rom what it had been or him And so he began inviting his

students to a local coffee shop gathering once a month afer school or

conversations about what it was like to be in their place in lie Tey

talked about a range o topics but eventually the discussion turned to





how much pressure they elt and how worried they were about their

perormance not only in his class but in just about everything they were

engaged in Tey described how alone they elt in their worry Lie orthem wasnrsquot very joyul but they figured this was the price they had to

pay to get into the right college so they could find the right job so they

could make the right amount o money so they could start the whole

process over again with their own kids But o significance was that some

students spoke o how hard even embarrassing it was to admit to the

weight they were under Tey described how they believed they should

simply be able to survive this pressure cooker and to complain thatsomething wasnrsquot right about it would make them seem weak Tey elt

vulnerable talking about it openly even with Jordan and their riends in

what was or them a relatively sae venue

But what they ound to be most helpulmdashand had them coming back

month afer month to the coffee shopmdashwas that in admitting their em-

barrassment they didnrsquot eel nearly as alone and many reported over the

course o their year that the pressure to perorm and the ear o theshame o not perorming well gradually receded Te connection they

experienced with Jordan and each other actually enabled them to eel

more at ease as students Eventually word got out to administrators

about what was happening in these gatherings Te administrators in-

vited Jordan to talk more openly about the conversations which ulti-

mately led to a restructuring o the curriculum including a reduction in

the number o AP classes offered at the school Tis is a rare story in

education but it began with one teacher courageously creating the op-

portunity or institutional shame to be exposed in the voices o those or

whom the school ostensibly existed

In this example we see how shamersquos healing encompasses the counter-

intuitive act o turning toward what we are most terrified o We ear the

shame that we will eel when we speak o that very shame In some cir-

cumstances we anticipate this vulnerable exposure to be so great that it

will be almost lie threatening But it is in the movement toward another

toward connection with someone who is sae that we come to know lie

and reedom rom this prison And in Jordanrsquos story not just an indi-




10486271048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

vidual but an entire institutional system came to breathe resh air on its

way to a more integrated state and liberation rom shame

P983145983148983143983154983145983149983155 983151983150 983137 J983151983157983154983150983141983161

Although it is tempting to hope that we can eliminate shame rom our

relational diet it is utile to wish or this Our hope is rather in changing

our response to it as we journey together toward Godrsquos kingdom which

is now but not yet in its ullness We would like to have it excised surgi-

cally rom our brains but instead find ourselves having to grow in our

confidence in combating it o do so requires that we strengthen ourcapacity to turn our attention to something other than shame As such

we do not execute shame quickly via some behavioral guillotine but

rather we starve it over time not by avoiding it but by attuning to it as a

component o a larger story A story whose beginning is as much about

how we were made as it is about why we were made Part o that how is

the subject o chapter two a subject that will add a helpul layer o un-

derstanding in our pursuit o making sense not only o shame but o thestory that the gospel tells in order to realize its healing








T H E

S O U L

O FS H A M E



CURT THOMPSON MD




InterVarsity Press


ivpresscom

emailivpresscom



InterVarsity Press







worldwide






ISBN 983097983095983096-983088-983096983091983088983096-983092983092983091983091-983091 (print)

ISBN 983097983095983096-983088-983096983091983088983096-983097983096983095983092 (digital)





Tompson Curt 983089983097983094983090-


pages cm




B983095983089983092983092983094 983090983088983089983093983090983091983091rsquo983093mdashdc983090983091

983090983088983089983093983088983089983096983096983091983093

P 983090983091 983090983090 983090983089 983090983088 983089983097 983089983096 983089983095 983089983094 983089983093 983089983092 983089983091 983089983090 983089983089 983089983088 983097 983096 983095 983094 983093 983092 983091 983090 983089

Y 983091983093 983091983092 983091983091 983091983090 983091983089 983091983088 983090983097 983090983096 983090983095 983090983094 983090983093 983090983092 983090983091 983090983090 983090983089 983090983088 983089983097 983089983096 983089983095 983089983094 983089983093




Contents

Introduction 983097













Notes 983090983088983089

Bibliography 983090983088983093




I983150983156983154983151983140983157983139983156983145983151983150
























10486251048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

























































O983157983154 S983156983151983154983161 983137983150983140 S983144983137983149983141rsquo983155 S983156983151983154983161












10486251048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486251048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

A T983137983148983141 983151983142 W983144983137983156 I983155 A983144983141983137983140































































A F983141983159 C983137983158983141983137983156983155








10486251048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486251048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141
















come to light













three years old




10486261048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



































O983157983154 S983156983151983154983145983141983155 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141































10486261048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141




M983151983154983141 T983144983137983150 983137 F983141983141983148983145983150983143
































































10486261048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



J983157983140983143983141 N983151983156 L983141983155983156 Y983141 B983141 J983157983140983143983141983140






















































H983145983140983141 983137983150983140 S983141983141983147











10486271048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































keeping us sick

C983137983157983143983144983156 983145983150 983156983144983141 L983151983151983152






























10486271048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

D983145983158983145983140983141 983137983150983140 C983151983150983153983157983141983154






























































O983157983154 C983151983157983150983156983141983154983145983150983156983157983145983156983145983158983141 C983151983150983142983148983145983139983156









10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486271048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



P983145983148983143983154983145983149983155 983151983150 983137 J983151983157983154983150983141983161


















InterVarsity Press


ivpresscom

emailivpresscom



InterVarsity Press







worldwide






ISBN 983097983095983096-983088-983096983091983088983096-983092983092983091983091-983091 (print)

ISBN 983097983095983096-983088-983096983091983088983096-983097983096983095983092 (digital)





Tompson Curt 983089983097983094983090-


pages cm




B983095983089983092983092983094 983090983088983089983093983090983091983091rsquo983093mdashdc983090983091

983090983088983089983093983088983089983096983096983091983093

P 983090983091 983090983090 983090983089 983090983088 983089983097 983089983096 983089983095 983089983094 983089983093 983089983092 983089983091 983089983090 983089983089 983089983088 983097 983096 983095 983094 983093 983092 983091 983090 983089

Y 983091983093 983091983092 983091983091 983091983090 983091983089 983091983088 983090983097 983090983096 983090983095 983090983094 983090983093 983090983092 983090983091 983090983090 983090983089 983090983088 983089983097 983089983096 983089983095 983089983094 983089983093




Contents

Introduction 983097













Notes 983090983088983089

Bibliography 983090983088983093




I983150983156983154983151983140983157983139983156983145983151983150
























10486251048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

























































O983157983154 S983156983151983154983161 983137983150983140 S983144983137983149983141rsquo983155 S983156983151983154983161












10486251048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486251048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

A T983137983148983141 983151983142 W983144983137983156 I983155 A983144983141983137983140































































A F983141983159 C983137983158983141983137983156983155








10486251048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486251048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141
















come to light













three years old




10486261048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



































O983157983154 S983156983151983154983145983141983155 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141































10486261048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141




M983151983154983141 T983144983137983150 983137 F983141983141983148983145983150983143
































































10486261048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



J983157983140983143983141 N983151983156 L983141983155983156 Y983141 B983141 J983157983140983143983141983140






















































H983145983140983141 983137983150983140 S983141983141983147











10486271048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































keeping us sick

C983137983157983143983144983156 983145983150 983156983144983141 L983151983151983152






























10486271048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

D983145983158983145983140983141 983137983150983140 C983151983150983153983157983141983154






























































O983157983154 C983151983157983150983156983141983154983145983150983156983157983145983156983145983158983141 C983151983150983142983148983145983139983156









10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486271048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



P983145983148983143983154983145983149983155 983151983150 983137 J983151983157983154983150983141983161


















Contents

Introduction 983097













Notes 983090983088983089

Bibliography 983090983088983093




I983150983156983154983151983140983157983139983156983145983151983150
























10486251048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

























































O983157983154 S983156983151983154983161 983137983150983140 S983144983137983149983141rsquo983155 S983156983151983154983161












10486251048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486251048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

A T983137983148983141 983151983142 W983144983137983156 I983155 A983144983141983137983140































































A F983141983159 C983137983158983141983137983156983155








10486251048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486251048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141
















come to light













three years old




10486261048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



































O983157983154 S983156983151983154983145983141983155 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141































10486261048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141




M983151983154983141 T983144983137983150 983137 F983141983141983148983145983150983143
































































10486261048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



J983157983140983143983141 N983151983156 L983141983155983156 Y983141 B983141 J983157983140983143983141983140






















































H983145983140983141 983137983150983140 S983141983141983147











10486271048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































keeping us sick

C983137983157983143983144983156 983145983150 983156983144983141 L983151983151983152






























10486271048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

D983145983158983145983140983141 983137983150983140 C983151983150983153983157983141983154






























































O983157983154 C983151983157983150983156983141983154983145983150983156983157983145983156983145983158983141 C983151983150983142983148983145983139983156









10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486271048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



P983145983148983143983154983145983149983155 983151983150 983137 J983151983157983154983150983141983161


















I983150983156983154983151983140983157983139983156983145983151983150
























10486251048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

























































O983157983154 S983156983151983154983161 983137983150983140 S983144983137983149983141rsquo983155 S983156983151983154983161












10486251048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486251048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

A T983137983148983141 983151983142 W983144983137983156 I983155 A983144983141983137983140































































A F983141983159 C983137983158983141983137983156983155








10486251048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486251048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141
















come to light













three years old




10486261048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



































O983157983154 S983156983151983154983145983141983155 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141































10486261048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141




M983151983154983141 T983144983137983150 983137 F983141983141983148983145983150983143
































































10486261048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



J983157983140983143983141 N983151983156 L983141983155983156 Y983141 B983141 J983157983140983143983141983140






















































H983145983140983141 983137983150983140 S983141983141983147











10486271048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































keeping us sick

C983137983157983143983144983156 983145983150 983156983144983141 L983151983151983152






























10486271048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

D983145983158983145983140983141 983137983150983140 C983151983150983153983157983141983154






























































O983157983154 C983151983157983150983156983141983154983145983150983156983157983145983156983145983158983141 C983151983150983142983148983145983139983156









10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486271048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



P983145983148983143983154983145983149983155 983151983150 983137 J983151983157983154983150983141983161


















10486251048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

























































O983157983154 S983156983151983154983161 983137983150983140 S983144983137983149983141rsquo983155 S983156983151983154983161












10486251048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486251048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

A T983137983148983141 983151983142 W983144983137983156 I983155 A983144983141983137983140































































A F983141983159 C983137983158983141983137983156983155








10486251048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486251048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141
















come to light













three years old




10486261048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



































O983157983154 S983156983151983154983145983141983155 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141































10486261048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141




M983151983154983141 T983144983137983150 983137 F983141983141983148983145983150983143
































































10486261048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



J983157983140983143983141 N983151983156 L983141983155983156 Y983141 B983141 J983157983140983143983141983140






















































H983145983140983141 983137983150983140 S983141983141983147











10486271048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































keeping us sick

C983137983157983143983144983156 983145983150 983156983144983141 L983151983151983152






























10486271048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

D983145983158983145983140983141 983137983150983140 C983151983150983153983157983141983154






























































O983157983154 C983151983157983150983156983141983154983145983150983156983157983145983156983145983158983141 C983151983150983142983148983145983139983156









10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486271048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



P983145983148983143983154983145983149983155 983151983150 983137 J983151983157983154983150983141983161








































O983157983154 S983156983151983154983161 983137983150983140 S983144983137983149983141rsquo983155 S983156983151983154983161












10486251048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486251048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

A T983137983148983141 983151983142 W983144983137983156 I983155 A983144983141983137983140































































A F983141983159 C983137983158983141983137983156983155








10486251048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486251048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141
















come to light













three years old




10486261048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



































O983157983154 S983156983151983154983145983141983155 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141































10486261048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141




M983151983154983141 T983144983137983150 983137 F983141983141983148983145983150983143
































































10486261048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



J983157983140983143983141 N983151983156 L983141983155983156 Y983141 B983141 J983157983140983143983141983140






















































H983145983140983141 983137983150983140 S983141983141983147











10486271048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































keeping us sick

C983137983157983143983144983156 983145983150 983156983144983141 L983151983151983152






























10486271048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

D983145983158983145983140983141 983137983150983140 C983151983150983153983157983141983154






























































O983157983154 C983151983157983150983156983141983154983145983150983156983157983145983156983145983158983141 C983151983150983142983148983145983139983156









10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486271048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



P983145983148983143983154983145983149983155 983151983150 983137 J983151983157983154983150983141983161


















10486251048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486251048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

A T983137983148983141 983151983142 W983144983137983156 I983155 A983144983141983137983140































































A F983141983159 C983137983158983141983137983156983155








10486251048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486251048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141
















come to light













three years old




10486261048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



































O983157983154 S983156983151983154983145983141983155 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141































10486261048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141




M983151983154983141 T983144983137983150 983137 F983141983141983148983145983150983143
































































10486261048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



J983157983140983143983141 N983151983156 L983141983155983156 Y983141 B983141 J983157983140983143983141983140






















































H983145983140983141 983137983150983140 S983141983141983147











10486271048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































keeping us sick

C983137983157983143983144983156 983145983150 983156983144983141 L983151983151983152






























10486271048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

D983145983158983145983140983141 983137983150983140 C983151983150983153983157983141983154






























































O983157983154 C983151983157983150983156983141983154983145983150983156983157983145983156983145983158983141 C983151983150983142983148983145983139983156









10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486271048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



P983145983148983143983154983145983149983155 983151983150 983137 J983151983157983154983150983141983161





















































10486251048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

A T983137983148983141 983151983142 W983144983137983156 I983155 A983144983141983137983140































































A F983141983159 C983137983158983141983137983156983155








10486251048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486251048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141
















come to light













three years old




10486261048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



































O983157983154 S983156983151983154983145983141983155 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141































10486261048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141




M983151983154983141 T983144983137983150 983137 F983141983141983148983145983150983143
































































10486261048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



J983157983140983143983141 N983151983156 L983141983155983156 Y983141 B983141 J983157983140983143983141983140






















































H983145983140983141 983137983150983140 S983141983141983147











10486271048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































keeping us sick

C983137983157983143983144983156 983145983150 983156983144983141 L983151983151983152






























10486271048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

D983145983158983145983140983141 983137983150983140 C983151983150983153983157983141983154






























































O983157983154 C983151983157983150983156983141983154983145983150983156983157983145983156983145983158983141 C983151983150983142983148983145983139983156









10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486271048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



P983145983148983143983154983145983149983155 983151983150 983137 J983151983157983154983150983141983161












































A F983141983159 C983137983158983141983137983156983155








10486251048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486251048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141
















come to light













three years old




10486261048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



































O983157983154 S983156983151983154983145983141983155 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141































10486261048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141




M983151983154983141 T983144983137983150 983137 F983141983141983148983145983150983143
































































10486261048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



J983157983140983143983141 N983151983156 L983141983155983156 Y983141 B983141 J983157983140983143983141983140






















































H983145983140983141 983137983150983140 S983141983141983147











10486271048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































keeping us sick

C983137983157983143983144983156 983145983150 983156983144983141 L983151983151983152






























10486271048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

D983145983158983145983140983141 983137983150983140 C983151983150983153983157983141983154






























































O983157983154 C983151983157983150983156983141983154983145983150983156983157983145983156983145983158983141 C983151983150983142983148983145983139983156









10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486271048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



P983145983148983143983154983145983149983155 983151983150 983137 J983151983157983154983150983141983161


















10486251048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486251048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141
















come to light













three years old




10486261048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



































O983157983154 S983156983151983154983145983141983155 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141































10486261048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141




M983151983154983141 T983144983137983150 983137 F983141983141983148983145983150983143
































































10486261048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



J983157983140983143983141 N983151983156 L983141983155983156 Y983141 B983141 J983157983140983143983141983140






















































H983145983140983141 983137983150983140 S983141983141983147











10486271048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































keeping us sick

C983137983157983143983144983156 983145983150 983156983144983141 L983151983151983152






























10486271048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

D983145983158983145983140983141 983137983150983140 C983151983150983153983157983141983154






























































O983157983154 C983151983157983150983156983141983154983145983150983156983157983145983156983145983158983141 C983151983150983142983148983145983139983156









10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486271048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



P983145983148983143983154983145983149983155 983151983150 983137 J983151983157983154983150983141983161





















































10486251048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141
















come to light













three years old




10486261048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



































O983157983154 S983156983151983154983145983141983155 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141































10486261048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141




M983151983154983141 T983144983137983150 983137 F983141983141983148983145983150983143
































































10486261048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



J983157983140983143983141 N983151983156 L983141983155983156 Y983141 B983141 J983157983140983143983141983140






















































H983145983140983141 983137983150983140 S983141983141983147











10486271048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































keeping us sick

C983137983157983143983144983156 983145983150 983156983144983141 L983151983151983152






























10486271048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

D983145983158983145983140983141 983137983150983140 C983151983150983153983157983141983154






























































O983157983154 C983151983157983150983156983141983154983145983150983156983157983145983156983145983158983141 C983151983150983142983148983145983139983156









10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486271048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



P983145983148983143983154983145983149983155 983151983150 983137 J983151983157983154983150983141983161























come to light













three years old




10486261048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



































O983157983154 S983156983151983154983145983141983155 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141































10486261048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141




M983151983154983141 T983144983137983150 983137 F983141983141983148983145983150983143
































































10486261048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



J983157983140983143983141 N983151983156 L983141983155983156 Y983141 B983141 J983157983140983143983141983140






















































H983145983140983141 983137983150983140 S983141983141983147











10486271048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































keeping us sick

C983137983157983143983144983156 983145983150 983156983144983141 L983151983151983152






























10486271048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

D983145983158983145983140983141 983137983150983140 C983151983150983153983157983141983154






























































O983157983154 C983151983157983150983156983141983154983145983150983156983157983145983156983145983158983141 C983151983150983142983148983145983139983156









10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486271048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



P983145983148983143983154983145983149983155 983151983150 983137 J983151983157983154983150983141983161


















10486261048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



































O983157983154 S983156983151983154983145983141983155 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141































10486261048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141




M983151983154983141 T983144983137983150 983137 F983141983141983148983145983150983143
































































10486261048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



J983157983140983143983141 N983151983156 L983141983155983156 Y983141 B983141 J983157983140983143983141983140






















































H983145983140983141 983137983150983140 S983141983141983147











10486271048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































keeping us sick

C983137983157983143983144983156 983145983150 983156983144983141 L983151983151983152






























10486271048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

D983145983158983145983140983141 983137983150983140 C983151983150983153983157983141983154






























































O983157983154 C983151983157983150983156983141983154983145983150983156983157983145983156983145983158983141 C983151983150983142983148983145983139983156









10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486271048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



P983145983148983143983154983145983149983155 983151983150 983137 J983151983157983154983150983141983161





















O983157983154 S983156983151983154983145983141983155 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141































10486261048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141




M983151983154983141 T983144983137983150 983137 F983141983141983148983145983150983143
































































10486261048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



J983157983140983143983141 N983151983156 L983141983155983156 Y983141 B983141 J983157983140983143983141983140






















































H983145983140983141 983137983150983140 S983141983141983147











10486271048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































keeping us sick

C983137983157983143983144983156 983145983150 983156983144983141 L983151983151983152






























10486271048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

D983145983158983145983140983141 983137983150983140 C983151983150983153983157983141983154






























































O983157983154 C983151983157983150983156983141983154983145983150983156983157983145983156983145983158983141 C983151983150983142983148983145983139983156









10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486271048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



P983145983148983143983154983145983149983155 983151983150 983137 J983151983157983154983150983141983161


















10486261048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141




M983151983154983141 T983144983137983150 983137 F983141983141983148983145983150983143
































































10486261048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486261048632 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



J983157983140983143983141 N983151983156 L983141983155983156 Y983141 B983141 J983157983140983143983141983140






















































H983145983140983141 983137983150983140 S983141983141983147











10486271048624 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































keeping us sick

C983137983157983143983144983156 983145983150 983156983144983141 L983151983151983152






























10486271048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

D983145983158983145983140983141 983137983150983140 C983151983150983153983157983141983154






























































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10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































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10486261048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































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keeping us sick

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10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































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keeping us sick

C983137983157983143983144983156 983145983150 983156983144983141 L983151983151983152






























10486271048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

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keeping us sick

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10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































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keeping us sick

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10486271048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

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10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































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keeping us sick

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10486271048626 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141

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10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































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keeping us sick

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10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































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10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































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10486271048628 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141






































































10486271048630 983144983141 S983151983157983148 983151983142 S983144983137983149983141



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The Soul of Shame By Curt Thompson, MD - EXCERPT

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Transcript of The Soul of Shame By Curt Thompson, MD - EXCERPT