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a small group study guide

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

RULE 1: LISTEN WELL

RULE 2: BE CONTENT

RULE 3: LIVE WITH INTEGRITY

RULE 4: AVOID SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS

RULE 5: CHOOSE TO FORGIVE

RULE 6: STAND BY YOUR CONVICTIONS

Rule 7: MAINTAIN HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

t a b l e o f c o n t e n t s

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Rule 1

Listen Well

Small Group Guideline

Remember to start and close in prayer/and with prayer requests.

Life Connect

Introduce yourself to the group, tell everyone where you’re from and share one thing people might not know about you. Enjoy!

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Questions

What stood out to you as you viewed this message?

How do you feel when someone isn’t really listening to you?

What makes a good listener?

Personal Reflection

Think of one person you tend to “tune out.” Intentionally set aside some time to listen to that person this week and try one of the ideas for better listening from your group discussion.

Scripture Memory Verse

JAMES 1:19-20My dear brothers, take note of this:Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

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Rule 2

Be Content

Small Group Guideline

Mutual Respect. Let’s all aim to keep communication open, to try our best to show up on time and prepared, to listen with compassion, and to include everyone during our time of sharing.

Life Connect

When you are feeling stressed at work or at home, what do you do that calms you down?

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Questions

What is it like being around ungrateful people?

Share some things you are grateful for.

What keeps you from being content in your life?

Personal Reflection

Think of someone you are grateful for and write them a note. Mail it this week.

Scripture Memory Verse

PSALM 73:28But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge, that I may tell of Your works.

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Rule 3

Live With Integrity

Small Group Guideline

We all want to agree that what is shared in this small group, stays within the small group time, and amongst the members who are present during the discussion. Remember, that trust is a fragile thing and upholding the utmost confidence of one another will truly enrich your experience.

Life Connect

You’ve been exiled to a deserted island for a year. In addition to the essentials, you may take: one piece of music, one book (which is not the Bible), and one luxury item you can carry with you (not a boat to leave the island). What would you take and why?

Take a few minutes to draw up your list of three items before sharing your choices with the rest of the group.

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Questions

Why do people hide the fact they are Christians?

Jesus told Nicodemus that he needed to be born again (see John 3:1-21). What does being born again mean?

Do you know for certain that you have been born again? Explain.

Personal Reflection

Write down the name of someone God is prompting you to reach out to in Christ’s love.

Make a plan to invite this person to an activity that they will enjoy and not feel threatened by.

Scripture Memory Verse

JOHN 3:16-17For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.

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Rule 4

Avoid Self-Righteousness

Small Group Guideline

The host is here to assist in making everyone welcome and provide a clean, friendly atmosphere. If you have any theological, counseling or logistical questions the host is unable to answer contact (808)842-4242 ext. 451.

Life Connect

Introduce or tell us something about yourself without using the term “I.”

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Questions

The Twelve disciples got indignant when the vial of costly perfume was poured on Jesus; eleven recovered but Judas did not.

Have you ever been in a situation where a group got angry or upset and then the situation was defused, but others wouldn’t let go of the anger/hurt?

How did it end?

How hard do you think it would be to reconcile the angry one(s)?

The Rule 4 chapter talks about “lightning rods.”

What are they?

What are three characteristics of a good one? Why are they important?

Personal Reflection

In the next three days, take time to thank a lightning rod in your life. Give him/her a call, or send an email saying how grateful you are for them. If you don’t have a lightning rod, take the next three days to pray and ask God to show you who would be a good one. Set aside time to build that relationship.

Scripture Memory Verses

1 CORINTHIANS 15:33Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”

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Rule 5

Choose To Forgive

Small Group Guideline

Hopefully, you will never need to address conflict in your group. But, in the case that conflict does arise, remember that conflict is rarely addressed too early, but is usually addressed too late. Share your concerns with your host or call our Small Groups Office (808)842-4242 ext. 451.

Life Connect

When you were younger, who was your favorite superhero and why?

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Questions

In the story of David’s son Absalom, he became like the people he couldn’t forgive, his brother and father.

Have you seen this pattern in your own life, where you can’t forgive someone for what they did, and you end up doing the exact same thing? Why is that?

Who is the easiest person for you to forgive? Who is the hardest?

What makes the difference?

How can knowing this help you to forgive more people easily?

Scripture Memory Verse

MARK 11:25Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions.

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RULE 6

STAND BY YOUR CONVICTIONS

Small Group Guideline

Through you can always say “pass” when there is personal sharing, the goal is to get deeper levels of honesty with one another. Be committed to this group.

Life Connect

If you could have any supernatural ability, which would it be and why?

A Note to the Host:

Next week for Rule # 7 you will need to supply each person in your group with a note card as part of the Personal Reflection section. Please be sure to have note cards or paper on hand next week.

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Questions

Often we think of peer pressure as something that only affects the young, but in Herod’s life we see its effect in adults. How have you seen peer pressure at work in people of different ages?

What is “the most important step in overcoming peer pressure?” Why?

Take some time to discuss how you have seen each effect operate in your life.

Personal Reflection

“Simplify your life by saying, ‘I will only do what pleases God.’”

What are some concrete steps you can take during this next week to do this?

Put into action the steps that you’ll take to please God.

Scripture Memory Verses

PSALM 27:1 (NCV)The Lord is my light and the One who saves me.So why should I fear anyone?The Lord protects my life.So why should I be afraid?

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RULE 7

MAINTAIN HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

Small Group GuidelineKeep in touch with your new found friends in this Bible study group. Continue to meet together while growing more in love with Jesus Christ.

Life ConnectDuring these past few weeks what will be a memorable “take away?”

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Questions

Have you ever experienced a broken relationship because in an argument you were right and the other person wouldn’t admit it? What does Rule 7 say about resolving situations like this?

Abigail (Nabal’s wife) goes to David and takes responsibility for Nabal’s rudeness.

Did that change the situation? What can be learned from her example that will help restore relationships in your life?

Personal Reflection

Write a card of encouragement to the person sitting to the right of you. Try to include these:

• something that this person has done that has blessed you• encouraging words for this person• expression of your thankfulness for your relationship

Give them the note of encouragement.

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Scripture Memory Verses

PROVERBS 15:1A gentle answer turns away wrath,But a harsh word stirs up anger.

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Whether you’re a new or seasoned Christian, this participants’ guide will lead you and your group together as you engage on key points of each of the 7 rules, and how it applies in your life. Through seven weeks of incisive study, this guide is designed to foster healthy group interaction and application of the principles. This engaging study includes Scripture memory reference verses that will deepen your understanding of God’s Word and

help you apply it.

www.lifejournal.cc