The relative importance of parents and friends in adolescent decision making

Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 1Iol. 15, No. 4, 1986

The Relative Importance of Parents and Friends in Adolescent Decision Making

Je f frey W i l k s m Received December 17, 1985; accepted June 19, 1986

In this study 175 older adolescents (83 males, 92 females) nominated their parents, particularly their mothers, then fr iends o f the same sex, as people most important in their lives. While parents were rated as more important than fr iends overall, problems were more frequently discussed with close friends. Using a matched sampling design, the adolescents" own mothers, fathers, and a close f r iend o f the same sex also responded to a scale where parents" or friends" opinions might be sought as part o f adolescent decision making. A s predicted, parents were perceived as most important in certain "future-oriented" areas, whereas f o r "'current" decisions, friends" opinions were more valued. Several areas o f possible parent-peer conflict were also identified.

INTRODUCTION

In their decision making, adolescents draw on the experience and advice of different reference groups and significant others. Of particular interest to researchers and educators has been the relative influence of parents and peers during adolescent development. While differences of opinion and disagreements about various issues are to be expected between adults and young people, the stereotype of fundamental conflict between these groups has not been SUlSported by recent studies (Coleman, 1980). Instead, as Bid- die and his colleagues suggest, parents and peers may influence adolescent

*Doctoral candidate, Department of Psychology, University of Queensland, St. Lucia, 4067, Australia. Current interest is the role of social and cultural factors in the development and maintenance of adolescent drinking and other drug use.

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0047-2891/86/0800-0323505.00/0 �9 1986 Plenum Publishing Corporation

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behavior in different ways, depending on the relationships a young person has with each and the particular topic area investigated (Biddle et al., 1980).

One popular research methodology used to investigate the relative influence of these two reference groups has been to create hypothetical situations or dilemmas involving choices between conflicting parent-peer expectations (Brittain, 1963, 1967; Emmerich, 1978; Larson, 1972; Solomon, 1961). From these studies a number of important observations have been made. First, the type of situation or dilemma in which an adolescent is placed will be an important determinant of whether peers or parents are chosen as a frame of reference. Second, adolescents' perceptions of peers and parents as competent guides in different areas of judgment tend to influence their choices. For example, Brittain (1963) found that adolescent girls saw their peers as more competent guides in current situational dilemmas (e.g., which dress to buy), whereas for future-oriented situations (e.g., which part-time job to take) parents were seen as more competent. Third, the more difficult choices, and those perceived important in the eyes of both peers and parents, tend to elicit parent-conforming responses. Several studies have shown that in difficult and important areas such as those involving vocational and educational decisions (Eme et al., 1979) where parents may be perceived as having some "expert knowledge," high-school students have been found to choose their parents' advice and opinions rather than those of their friends (Sebald and White, 1980). On the other hand, in current situations where decisions about dating, dress, social events and hobbies were to be made, the opinions of friends were perceived as more important (Sebald and White, 1980). Age and sex (Emmerich, 1978; Floyd and South, 1972), and cultural background (Valiant, 1983) have also been shown to influence adolescent choices between parent and peer reference groups.

While studies employing hypothetical situations have generated a number of interesting findings, Larson (1972) has concluded that they "pro- vide limited insight into the structure of parent and peer orientations during adolescence" (p. 73). In attempting to understand the complex set of social influences acting upon young people, researchers have more recently extended their investigations to focus on other reference groups such as siblings (Cicirelli, 1980), extended family members, and nonrelated adults (Blyth et al., 1982); as well as measuring the strength and quality of the rela-

tionships adolescents have with each and their willingness to approach referent others in particular situations (Valiant, 1983). In addition, since describing both parents together may mask the more important relationship one parent has with a son or daughter, many researchers are now asking questions about mothers and fathers separately. The same rationale applies for peers. Lic- clone (1980) argues that a distinction should be made between peers in general

Importance of Parents and Friends 325

and particular friends. The latter group has been found to exert a stronger, more pervasive influence on adolescent drinking than any other group of significant others.

One way to avoid many of the shortcomings of previous studies is not to assume the importance of specific groups a priori, but rather to allow respondents to nominate those others who are important to them (Blyth et al., 1982; Keats et al., 1983; Musgrove, 1967). Across cultures, Keats and his colleagues found that parents were nominated first as most important referent others, followed by friends, adults, and siblings, in that order. These results were based on the responses of adolescents aged 12, 15, and 18 years, but age effects were not discussed. One might hypothesize that for older adolescents who are leaving the family home and developing their own independent life-styles, and particularly for those studying toward higher qualifications, friends of the same age would become a very important reference group. An earlier study of American college students by Denzin (1966) showed that friends were, in fact, mentioned more often than parents as significant others, both for role-specific (evaluation as a student) and orien- tational (evaluation as a person) situations. In contrast, Musgrove (1967) has reported that among students entering an English technological university, parents were mentioned more often than other family members or friends as people who were important in the students' lives, whose opinions they valued, and whom they did not wish to disappoint in their academic careers. One aim of the present study, therefore, was to clarify the relative importance of parents and friends for a sample of Australian adolescents begin- ning their tertiary studies.

In contrast to past research where information about the normative stan- dards and behaviors of their significant others was usually obtained from adolescent respondents (e.g., Biddle et al., 1980), the present study also gained the opinions of fathers, mothers, and friends directly. This matched-sampling technique offers a unique perspective for, as Jessop (1981) notes, "examining dyadic agreement within the family is a way of checking the extent and ramifications of the problem of individuals' differential perception and repor- ting" (p. 95). By questioning students, both parents, and a close friend of the same sex about situations where the advice and opinions of either parents or friends would be sought, it becomes possible to test for real cross-pressures and to assess the relative importance of each group for adolescents' current and future-oriented decisions.

Also of importance was the identification of particular areas where the groups would generally agree that a young person should seek the advice of either parents or friends. For advice about vocational and educational decisions, parents were expected to be particularly important. The last point

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also has policy implications, for this university allocates considerable resources each year to encourage parents to visit the campus and to become more in- formed about their children's studies.

METHOD

Subjects

One hundred and seventy-five students enrolled in introductory psychology courses at the University of Queensland participated in this study. Prior to signing up to participate, they were told that the research focused on family and friends, and that both parents and a close friend of the same sex would be requested to complete a short confidential questionnaire. The final sample consisted of 175 fathers, 175 mothers, 83 sons, 83 male friends, 92 daughters, and 92 of their female friends. The fathers' mean age was 50.5 years and most were employed in professional or managerial positions (67~ Over half the mothers were involved with full-time home duties (53o7o), while a further 26o7o held professional or managerial positions outside the home. Mothers were, on average, 47.3 years of age. Sons and their male friends were similar in age (means of 19.1 and 19.3 years, respectively), as were daughters (x-= 17.9 years) and their female friends (x-= 18.0 years). Most male (80o7o) and female (77o7o) friends were also students, though in a varie- ty of courses and institutes throughout the State of Queensland. A number of female friends (13 ~ were also working full-time in white-collar positions.

Instruments and Procedures

As part of a larger project examining sociocultural influences on the development of young Australians' drinking behavior and attitudes (Wilks, 1985a,b; Wilks and Callan, 1984a,b) students completed a battery of questionnaires that included measures of drinking behavior, attitudes toward drugs and drug users, and perceptions of the importance of parents and friends across a number of situations. Students completed the measures at the university and were given course credit for their participation. Each parent and friend received a separate sealed questionnaire and an introductory letter ex- plaining the aims of the study and requesting their participation. Where the student did not expect to see their parents or close friend in the following two weeks, the material was mailed. Postage-paid, self-addressed envelopes were provided for the return of all questionnaires. Since strict confidentiali- ty was considered essential in this project, the respondents were asked not to attach names to the schedules. Questionnaires were matched using unique identification codes. In addition, the introductory letters requested that


subjects not discuss the questions until each person had completed his or her questionnaire.

Several measures were employed to investigate the relative importance of parents and friends to this sample of older teenagers. First, students were asked an open-ended question: "To some degree all of us are concerned about people's opinions. Whose opinions are important to you personally?" Students could list as many people as they wished. Coding categories were developed for this measure of "saliency." Students were also requested to rank, in order of importance, those people whose opinions were most important to them personally. The ranking was from 1 (most important) to 4 (fourth most important); this provided a measure of "perceived importance" for significant others. Also included in the schedule were questions about how often adolescents talked about problems with their parents and friends (1, never; 4, always), and the number of close friends they have.

Parents, their sons and daughters, and friends responded to a scale that consisted of 18 situations where parents' or friends' opinions might be sought as part of adolescent decision making. Sebald and White (1980) have previous- ly administered this scale to American high-school students, and reported acceptable levels of validity and reliability for the measure. For sons and daughters, the scale was introduced by the question: "If you had to decide between friends' and parents' opinions and feelings in the following situations, whose opinion would you consider more important?" For parents the question was written as: "If a young adult (like your son or daughter) had to decide between friends' and parents' opinions and feelings . . . . "Th e word- ing for friends was: "If a young adult had to decide . . . . " Thus each person was asked for his or her own opinion and responded on a 5-point scale where 1, definitely friends; 2, probably friends; 3, uncertain; 4, probably parents; 5, definitely parents. Subjects were requested to choose between the two groups, but to use the uncertain category if neither group would be influential in a particular situation. Finally, where the original items from Sebald and White (1980) referred to "school," these were changed to "university." Similarly, the original question 10-"Whether you go to college or not," was rewritten as, "Whether to stay at university or not ."

RESULTS

Nomination of Important Referent Others

In response to the open-ended measure about important referent others, the 175 students in this study mentioned 1,773 people whose opinions were important to them personally. Male ( ~ = 10.3, SD = 4.6) and female (5- 10.0, SD = 4.7) students were similar in the mean number of nominations

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Table I. Nominations of Important Referent Others: Percentage of Respondents by Sex

Males Females All respondents Referent other (N = 83) (N = 92) '(N = 175)

Mother 95 93 94 Female friends ~ 82 97 90 Father 90 86 88 Male friends ~ 98 70 83 Sister(s) 42 54 49 Brother(s) 46 46 46 Boyfriend or girlfriend 30 34 32 Grandmother 18 26 22 Aunt 16 24 20 Grandfather 16 12 14 Uncle 12 14 13

*Friends of the same age.

they m a d e (t = 0.4, 173 df, n .s . ) . As can be seen in Tab le I , the pa r t i cu l a r referent o thers chosen were again fa i r ly s imi lar for bo th sexes. Overal l , mothers were nomina ted as the most impor tan t referent other. In compar ison , fa thers were men t ioned less of ten , especia l ly by thei r daugh te r s . A n o t h e r interest ing, but no t unexpec ted f inding, was the m o r e f requent n o m i n a t i o n o f same-sex fr iends a m o n g these young men and women . T a k e n as a g roup , fr iends were men t ioned by more s tudents (98o7o) than were pa ren t s (95o70), s ibl ings (75~ or the sundry g roup cal led "adu l t s" (63o/0). Howeve r , it is a p p a r e n t tha t the use o f such b r o a d ca tegor ies o f referent o thers m a y mask i m p o r t a n t re la t ionships . F o r example , within the adu l t ca tegory pa r t i cu la r ex tended fami ly member s such as g r andpa ren t s , and aunts and uncles, are cons idered i m p o r t a n t by m o r e young peop le than are teachers , clergy, in- laws, cousins , or workma te s .

Perceived Importance

A second w a y o f invest igat ing the relative impor t ance o f referent others for this g roup o f adolescents is by examin ing the o rde r in which they are ranked . Table II presents these results. Aga in , the impo r t a nc e o f paren ts and

Table II. Average Rank for Perceived Importance of Referent Others

Males Females All respondents Referent other (N = 83) (N = 92) (N = 175)

Parents 1.6 1.5 1.5 Friends 2.1 2.2 2.1 Siblings 2.8 2.9 2.8 Adults 3.5 3.5 3.5


Table III. Frequency of Talking About Problems with Parents and Closest Friend: Percentage of Respondents by Sex

Males Females All respondents (N = 83) (N = 92) (N = 175)

Frequency Parents Friend Parents Friend Parents Friend

Never 13 4 9 0 11 2 Sometimes 63 53 41 29 51 41 Usually 22 34 36 40 29 37 Always 2 10 14 30 9 21

Mean rating 2.1 2.5 2.6 3.0 2.4 2.8 (SD) (0.7) (0.7) (0.8) (0.8) (0.8) (0.8)

friends is highlighted, with male and female respondents very similar in their nominations. Of the 141 cases where these three groups were rank-ordered together, mothers (~= 1.7) and fathers ( ~ = 1.9) were fairly similar and received higher ratings than friends (x-= 2.4).

There were few sex differences for this student group in their perceptions of important others in their lives. Males (x-= 7.3, SD = 4.0) and females ( ~ = 6.2, SD = 3.7) did not differ significantly in the number of close friends they reported having (t = 1.8, 173 df, n.s.); however, as Table III shows, differences were apparent in how often they talked about problems with their parents and closest friend. Female students, compared to males, reported talking more frequently about problems with their parents (t = 3.7, 173 df, p < .001) and their friend (t = 4.6, 173 df, p < .001). However, both males (t = 3.4, 164 df, p < .001) and females (t = 3.8, 182 df, p < .001) indicated that they talked more often with their friend about problems than they did with their parents. Thus, parents' opinions were generally considered more important to this group of young people (as measured by their nominations and rank-ordering of importance), but when problems arise they were more frequently discussed with the closest friend. This would suggest that adolescents might seek parents' and friends' advice and opinions in quite separate areas, and furthermore, that strong cross-pressures may be exerted as both groups expect to be consulted as part of any decision making.

Relative Importance of Parents and Friends

To identify those areas of decision making where parents' or friends' opinions and feelings would be most important, a multiple discriminant analysis (Cooley and Lohnes, 1971) was conducted on ratings made by all

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700 respondents. The analysis revealed a significant multivariate effect (F = 6.5; p < .001), with the first two discriminant functions also significant (X 2 = 413.6, p < .001; X 2 = 86.9, p < .001). Table IV presents the results of this analysis. While univariate F tests and follow-up comparisons (Newman-Keuls) revealed significant group differences across all 18 areas, usually with parents most different from the young people, it was possible to identify situations where a general consensus was or was not achieved. The results are therefore presented in this general form.

As predicted, parental guidance was most valued in areas involving educational and vocational decisions. Not only were parents and their children in agreement here, but also the children's friends. A less expected result was the consensus that parents' opinions would be most important in money mat- ters, although both finance and the choice of a spouse can be viewed as "future-oriented" decisions where parents may be seen as competent guides for their children.

A pattern of agreement also emerged in six areas where friends' opinions and feelings were considered more important in adolescent decision making. These areas can be loosely defined as "current situations" since the decisions involved are fairly short term, and most involve direct interaction with age peers rather than family members. While parents may agree that friends are better guides for decisions about social activities, club memberships, hobbies, and reading material, one area of potential conflict might be in how young people choose to dress. This is particularly true for fathers, many of whom indicated that they believed parents' opinions and feelings would be most important in this area.

Two further areas have mixed agreement between the groups and might cause some slight friction. First, the daughters' female friends were alone in suggesting that friends were more important than parents for advice on personal problems. Second, unlike the other young people who indicated that information about sex would be sought from their friends, daughters were fairly evenly divided between parents and friends.

In contrast to the points of mixed agreement, Table IV also identifies five areas where parents' and adolescents' choices of important referent others are in direct opposition. For decisions related to drinking and various aspects of dating, parents strongly believe their opinions and feelings are most important. The young people, on the other hand, report that the opinions and feelings of their friends would be more important.

Overall, sons and their male friends were very similar in their responses. This was true, but to a lesser extent in some areas of decision making, for daughters and their female friends. Daughters differed most from their female friends in supporting the importance of parental opinion in decisions con- cerning money and how to dress.

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DISCUSSION

Parents and same-age friends were nominated as the most important people in the lives of this older adolescent sample. Other family members such as siblings, grandparents, and aunts and uncles, were also mentioned quite often. The importance of family members is not surprising given that two-thirds (660"/0) of these young people were still living at home with their parents, and would therefore have more opportunities for interaction with these referent others. Moreover, Musgrove (1967) has suggested that "the crisis of transition to university, and a period before university friendships have had time to form, may temporarily emphasize the significance of parents in young people's lives" (p. 80). Other researchers (e.g., Curtis, 1974) have also noted a slight increase in the dependence upon parents by younger students entering a new school.

When listing people important in their lives, both male and female respondents in this sample tended to mention same-sex rather than opposite- sex friends. A similar trend has been reported for high-school students in the United States (Blyth et al., 1982); together these findings support the decision to include same-sex friends in the present study, especially since it is with their close friends that adolescents are most likely to discuss problems.

While many studies have relied solely on adolescents' perceptions of their parents' beliefs and behaviors, this investigation sought parents' opinions directly. Other researchers have noted variations in parental roles as perceived by teenagers (e.g., McIntire et al., 1972) and emphasized the need to consider mothers' and fathers' attitudes and behaviors separately (Niles, 1979; O'Connor, 1978). In the present study, however, mothers and fathers were very similar in their beliefs about who should guide young people in various areas of decision making. As predicted, parents were viewed as important guides for educational and vocational decisions. Not only did parents nominate themselves, but their children and young friends were also in agreement. These results are similar to those of Kandel and Lesser (1969), who have shown parents to be more influential than best friends in relation to adolescents' educational plans. Rather than being antagonistic, friends tend to support the values of parents in this area. The consensus here is encourag- ing for university administrators wanting to increase parental interest in their children's studies.

Parents' opinions were also perceived to be most important for decisions about money and the choice of a future spouse. Here Brittain's (1963) suggestion of a "competent guide" appears relevant. Many of the students in this study, both living at home and in campus colleges, would be finan- cially dependent on their parents while they are still studying. All groups tended to acknowledge the importance of parental opinion in the area of finance. While parents were nominated more often than friends as important for guidance in choosing a future spouse, this particular area of decision mak-


ing had the greatest number of "uncertain" responses. Sebald and White (1980) found a similar pattern among American high-school students. Other areas of uncertainty for this Australian sample were whether to go steady or not, how often to date, and how intimate to be on a date. These areas of partner selection and interaction may reflect genuine uncertainty in the choice of parents or friends as a reference group for some young people, although the majority obviously favor the advice and guidance of their friends.

For decisions about social events, club memberships, dress, hobbies, and personal reading, friends were clearly the preferred reference group for young people. Most parents were supportive of these choices, although fathers were fairly evenly divided about whose opinions were to be sought in the area of dress. Parents also considered themselves to be important guides for young people in decisions relating to dating, drinking alcohol, and as a source of information about sex. In these areas, however, most young people reported that the opinions of their friends would be more important. Drink- ing and dating, in particular, are activities conducted with age-mates rather than parents, so it is not surprising to find friends' opinions and feelings more important. First-year university students report that most of their current drinking is done with friends (Wilks, 1985a) and often, particularly for daughters, parents are not aware of the extent of their children's drinking (Wilks and Callan, 1984b). Given the polarized expectations of parents and young people in these areas, some conflict can be anticipated.

Overall, this study supports Brittain's (1963, 1967) suggestions that adolescents will seek their parents' advice and opinions for longer-term, important, and difficult decisions, whereas friends' opinions and feelings will be more important for decisions in short-term, less important, and less difficult areas. As Floyd and South (1972) have noted, parents' and peers' ability and willingness to help meet specific needs for adolescents are central factors in reference orientation. In some areas of decision making, parent or peer consensus is clearly established; in others, however, conflict is likely to exist. Parents must come to accept that their children are developing their own independent identities and experimenting with various roles as part of their transition to adulthood. In a number of areas they will no longer be seeking parental advice for the decisions they have to make. On the other hand, parents and other family members are still seen as very important people in the lives of these young Australians.

A C K N O W L E D G M E N T

For their comments on an earlier draft of this paper, I would like to thank Victor Callan and Michael Siegal. Also, sincere thanks to Diane Hawke for manuscript preparation.

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The relative importance of parents and friends in adolescent decision making

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