The Pursuit of Excellence and the Pitfalls of Perfectionism
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Transcript of The Pursuit of Excellence and the Pitfalls of Perfectionism
THE
PURSUIT
OF
EXCEL
LENCE A
ND THE
PITF
ALL O
F PE
RFECTI
ONISM
Patric
k Car
ruth
and Je
ff Gep
hart
PERFECTIONISM IN OUR CHILDREN?
PERFECTIONISM IN US?
"You can see that the problem with perfectionism begins when we move beyond the legitimate pursuit of excellence to live under the tyranny of believing that perfection is possible and failures are unacceptable. Standards of productivity, accomplishment or appearance are so high that they are impossible to attain.
When our self-worth and self-respect depend on reaching those standards, the result is an inevitable script for self-defeat: one’s own personal hell of repeated failure, self-criticism and depression. Notice that it is the degree of intensity with which we pursue impossible goals, and the degree to which we feel that our worth is dependent on reaching those goals, that defines the difference between healthy and unhealthy perfectionism."
(pg. 36 Perfecting Ourselves to Death by Richard Winter)
“…the problem with perfectionism begins when we move beyond the legitimate pursuit of excellence to live under the tyranny of believing that perfection is possible and failures are unacceptable. “
EXCELLENCE IN THE CLASSICAL WORLD
PLATO AND ARISTOTLE
NICHOMACHAEN ETHICS
VIRTUE
Meaning a "moral life and conduct, moral excellence," from Latin virtus meaning "moral strength, manliness, valor, excellence, worth," from vir meaning "man or husband".
The four classical virtues:Temperance JusticePrudenceCourage
EUDAIMONIA
Means "producing or maintaining happiness with an objectively desirable life.“ Literally means “having a good or guardian spirit (eu + daimon).
ARÊTE
Is an important concept in Greek philosophy, generally meaning "virtue, excellence," especially of “manly” qualities; lit. "that which is good." The superlative is aristos (best), from which we get the word aristocracy (aristo + kratos).
Fulfilling potentialLife long journeyEffort not intellect
PAIDEIA
From the Greek pais, paidos. The upbringing of a child (similar to the words pedagogy and pediatrics). It is the equivalent of the Latin humanitas (from which we get the humanities), signifying the general learning that should be the possession of all human beings.
Paideia meant the process of educating man into his true form, the real and genuine human nature.
David Naugle
PAIDEIA
The classical Greek system of education and training, which came to include gymnastics, grammar, rhetoric, poetry, music, mathematics, geography, natural history, astronomy and the physical sciences, history of society and ethics, and philosophy—the complete pedagogical course of study necessary to produce a well-rounded, fully educated citizen.”
Richard Tarnas, The Passion of the Western
Mind, pp. 29-30.
PAIDEIA
The TrueThe GoodThe Beautiful
The making of the human (humanitas), not the training of men
PHILIPPIANS 3:12-15
12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.
PHILIPPIANS 3:12-15
But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
PHILIPPIANS 3:12-15
15 All of us, then, who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16 Only let us live up to what we have already attained.
I Am the Kite I am the kite:Red and orange,Fire in the sky,Stunt Kite,Cutting loopsAnd gashes in the blue,My skin vibratesOn my frame with power.
I Am the Kite (cont’d) I cut the cordTo fly yet higher still,To show the restWhat freedom's all about.I turn and twistMy fanciest curlAnd set my courseFor distance.
I Am the Kite (cont’d) But, my mistakeWas notTo take the wind for granted,But the cordThat tensioned meTo one I did not seeSo far below. The flyer is not me.
I Am the Kite (cont’d) Lord, give me the anchor. Give me pause.Let me know in freedom's limited flight, The kite's first cause.
Bruce Barton BaileySunday, May 29, 1994
PERFECTIONISM VS. EXCELLENCEFROM JEFF BAAS
Being Wrong
PERFECTIONISM is the fear of being wrong.
EXCELLENCE is the willingness
to be wrong and to learn from it.
Not Measuring Up
PERFECTIONISM is fear that
others might think you don’t
measure up.
EXCELLENCE is a desire to be the best you can be.
Freedom
PERFECTIONISM is confining.
EXCELLENCE is freeing.
PERFECTIONISM VS. EXCELLENCE
Openness
PERFECTIONISM is closing
yourself off.
EXCELLENCE is opening yourself
up.
Direction
PERFECTIONISM is remaining right where
you’ve always been.
EXCELLENCE is a journey of discovery.
Improvement
PERFECTIONISM is fearing something
unpleasant will come from your
efforts.
EXCELLENCE is an excitement
over the improvements
that you will help discover.
REALIZE
We are fallen Image Bearers and the inability to perfect ourselves
We live in the present by grace, without fear of past or future
OBSERVE AND EMPHASIZE
Watch for signs in self and childrenEmphasize process instead of outcome Emphasize character development over appearance or performance
The work of Christ and the pull of Grace toward excellence
"Humility, which involves losing our self-sufficiency, is a secret of soul rest because it does not presume to secure outcomes.“
Dallas Willard from Renovation of the Heart
When You Come Back Downmusic and lyrics by Nickel Creek
You got to leave me now, you got to go aloneYou got to chase a dream, one that's all your
ownBefore it slips awayWhen you're flyin' high, take my heart alongI'll be the harmony to every lonely songThat you learn to play
When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down
I'll keep lookin' up awaitin' your return
My greatest fear will be that you will crash and burn
And I won't feel your fire
I'll be the other hand that always holds the line
Connectin' in between your sweet heart and mine
I'm strung out on that wire
And I'll be on the other end
To hear you when you call
Angel, you were born to fly
And if you get too high
I'll catch you when you fall
I'll catch you when you fall
Your memory's the sunshine every new day brings
I know the sky is calling
Angel, let me help you with your wings
When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down