Q & Athe

October 7, 2010 | Issue #220

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y o u r. i n d y @ g m a i l . c o m LETTER FROM THE EDITOReditor-in-chief:Riley Kennysmith

layout editor:Tara Connel ly

writers:Hil lary AndersonAdam BreidbartVanessa CavanaghRose CrosbyMadame Query

copy editors:Erica BascoAlex Prosc ia

print manager:Robyn Wilk ins

cover photo by:Kel lyann Petry

artwork by:Tony Washington

web editor:Daniel le Lempp

We’verunintosometechnicaldifficultiesthisweek,butaspromised,

we’regettinganissuetoyounomatterwhat.I’mespeciallythankfulforthe

internetthisweek,becauseevenwhenwe’reunabletoprintissuesontime,

wecanstilluploadtopurchaseindy.comforyou!Convenientandecologically

savvy,nottooshabby.

I feel likeIhavenothing to say thisweek,but that’sonlybecause

I’m holding in a huge secret! The Indy staff is planning something big,

something that’s going to take months and lots of collaboration from the

campus,and it’sall I’vebeenable to thinkaboutsince itpopped intomy

headlastweekend.AndwhenIsaythissecretishuge,Imeanthisprojectis

hugebeyondanythingwe’veeverdonebefore.It’ssomethingtomakeusall

proudof ourcampusandmakethiscampusaplacetobeproudof—we’re

goingdownintheannalsof Purchasehistoryandwe’retakingyouwithus,

and you’re gonna like it.Ican’treallygiveawayanymorehints,butIthinkit’s

goodtoprepareallof youwiththisanticipatoryletter.Sharpenyourpencils,

clearyourcamera’smemorycardandcleanupyourcanvases,becausesoon

enoughwe’regoingtocallonyoutobepartof somethingbigandweneed

you to be ready.

ThePurchaseIndependentisanon-profitnews magazine, paid for by the Manda-toryStudentActivityfee.

We welcome and encourage submissionsfrom readers. The Indy is a forum forcampusissuesandevents,togivestudentsthe voice they deserve. Letters, articles,comics,ads,eventphotographyandeventlistingsarewelcomed.

The deadline for submissions is every Friday before midnight, and acceptedpieces will be published the followingThursday. Publication of submissions is notguaranteed,but subject to thediscre-tion of the editors. No anonymous sub-missions will be considered, but we willaccept use of pseudonyms on a case-by-case basis.

Sendallsubmissionsandinquiriestoyour.indy@gmail.com. Send questions toMadame Query at formspring.me/ma-damequery.Backpagequotescanbesub-mitted to formspring.me/indybackpage or put in the Back Page Box that hangs on the office door.

Our office is located on the first floor of CampusCenterNorth, room 1011. Staff meetings are held in the office every Mon-daynightat9:30;anyoneiswelcometojoin.

3

MUS I C

Hillary Anderson: Who plays what? Are you guys all Purchase students? What do you study? Greg:Iplayguitarandsing.I’maStudio

Production student and still in progress.

Nick:Iplaythedrums,andI’mcurrently

studyingGraphicDesign.Asfarasdegreesgo,

we’reallrelativelyclosetograduatingsowhether

wetakeoff anothersemesterortwoornot,we’ll

definitelybebacktofinishitup.

Frank:IplayguitarandstudyLiterature.

Mitch:Iplaybass.Ialreadygraduatedfrom

SUNYGeneseoandhaveaB.S.inBiology.

HA: What is it about Triple Crown that made you decide to choose them over another record label?G: A number of reasons. After looking over the

dealsthatwerepresented,TripleCrownwas

morewillingandcapableof negotiatingterms

withus.BeingfromNYC,theirlocationmade

iteasyforustobeincontact.Fred,theowner,

isagoodguy.Gettingtoknowhimduring

the negotiation process helped us feel more

comfortablewiththelabelthanwithotherslabel

weweretalkingto.

M:TripleCrownseemedlikeagreatfit,

especiallysincewe’veplayedahandfulof shows

withAsTallAsLionsandTheDearHunter.

HA: How did you decide to make your recording process public? G:Wethoughtitwouldbecooltokeeppeople

involvedineverythingwedo.It’snotthefirst

time a band has done something like this. But

MOVING MOUNTAINSBY HILLARY ANDERSON

sincewe’llberecordingtherecordourselves

again,wethoughtit’dbecooltostreamitonline

so people could log in and see the progress and

development. The internet is good for that.

F:We’realwaysthinkingaboutwhatwe’dliketo

seeourfavoritebandsdo,andthatideacameup.

HA: What does Triple Crown think of that decision?N:Notreallysure,tobehonest.Fromthestart

though,TripleCrownhasseemedprettyopen

to our ideas and letting us do (for the most part)

whatwewant.

F:Yeah,andthatfreedomisrarenowadays.It’s

agreatattributeof TripleCrown.

HA: Is there any particular sound you’re trying to move toward with your new album?G:Focusandbalancebetweenambienceand

rock.It’shardtoshareanythingaboutitnow,as

wehaven’tbeguntrackingyet.

N:Yeah,focusandtrimmingthefat.Oursongs

tendtobelongeranddrawnoutonpastrecords,

butnowwe’restartingtoquestionwhatparts

reallyneedtobethere,howlongtheyneedto

be.

F: We’ve also been progressively concentrating

onhavingsongsthatwillworkwelllive.One

of thereasonswedon’tplaytoomanyPneuma

songsisthatMovingMountainswasn’treallya

live band at the time.

M:Probablyeverybandbelievestheirnewstuff

is“better”thantheiroldstuff,butIreallythink

this record is going to be pretty solid. We’ve all

(continued on page 4)

4

(continued from page 3)

grownandbecomebettermusiciansoverthe

pastfewyears.IfeellikewerecordedForeword

ages ago.

HA: So you guys are going on an international tour. That’s exciting. Will it be the first time you’ve gone abroad?F:Yes.Goingoverseashasbeensomethingwe’ve

beenmeaningtodoforawhilenow.We’reall

excitedasit’sabrandnewterritoryforustoplay.

M: We played Canada once. Even though it isn’t

allthatradicallydifferentfromtheU.S.,itwas

still pretty fun and exciting. Especially crossing

theborderandbeingparanoidof gettingstrip-

searched by Customs agents.

HA: How will you pick your setlist for upcoming shows?N:Oncethenewrecordcomesout,wewill

certainlybeplayingalotof newstuff,butof

course keep some older songs in the set. We’ve

beenplayingsongsoff PneumaandForeword

formanyyears,sotohavenewsongsintheset

willbequiterefreshing.Wenevermakeupa

setlistthenightof theshow.Beforeatourwe’ll

pickouttheorderof thesongswewanttoplay,

andpracticethatsetafewweeksbeforehand.

Thenwe’llhaveoneortwomoresongsthatwe

cycleinandout,if wehaveenoughtimeandthe

crowdisintoit.

HA: How was your tour this summer?N:Tourthissummerwasawesome.Allthebands

onthebillweregreat,andwe’vebeenlongtime

fansof PolarBearClubespecially,soitwasan

honorforthemtotakeusout.Everywherewego

isexcitinginitsownway,becauseit’salldifferent

(orthesame,dependingonhowyoulookat

it).CitieslikeChicagoandDallasarealways

excitingbecausewedowellthere.NewYork

also,justbecauseit’shome.

F: All our tours have been very different so far.

Itreallychangesdependingonwhoyou’reout

with.We’vemadelotsof greatfriendsonthe

roadbothfrommusicianswe’vetouredwithand

peoplewe’vemetfromplayingthesamecities.

Everyplacewe’veplayedhashaditsupsand

downs.It’sgreatbeingabletotravelandhave

newexperienceswhiledoingwhatwelove.

M: Tour is absolutely great. The only thing

that sucks is that your food options are often

seriouslylimited.Youcan’tcookanythingfresh

foryourself.Youeithergetbarfood(whichis

delicious but really unhealthy) or Taco Bell at 2

a.m.afterashow.That’saboutit.Sometimeswe

getluckyandgetafreshhome-cookedmealata

friend or relative’s house.

HA: Do you get any gifts from fans?N:Sure,mostlyfoodthough.Sometimesweget

homemadebakedgoodsbroughttotheshow,

whichisalwaysnice.

M:Onefanthatwebecamefriendswithon

tour,ElisefromPortland,OR,madeusvegan

cupcakes in chocolate andvanilla.Thosewere

thebestvegancupcakesI’veeverhadinmylife.

And none of us are vegan.

HA: Are you still going to play shows at Purchase after you’re rich and famous? N:If theywantus,surely!

HA: Anything else you want to say?N:Thanksforreadingthisinterview,andbesure

tocomesayhinexttimeweplayinthearea.

Ournewalbumwillbeoutearly2011.

5

HER C AMPU S

Reallythough,whodoesn’tlikeroadtrips? Life on a budget doesn’t mean you have toleaveyourcarintheparkinglot.Sobuckleup,adventuresaren’tcompletelyoff limits.Inanefforttobulkupmy‘bucketlist’of sorts,Ijourneyedbeyondtheofferingsof Purchaseanditsfivehundredacresof campus.WeendedupabouttwohoursawayinOldMystic/MysticConnecticut. OldMysticandMysticaresmallNewEnglandcoastaltowns,whichIlove.Myfirstmissionwastofigureoutif OldMysticwasworththedrive.Meaning,whatfreestuff istheretodootherthanwindow-shoppingatantiquestores?Mysearchledmetoanumberof thingsincludingmuseumsandinterestingly,B.F.Clyde’s Cider Mill. Done. WeleftearlyonSaturday.‘We’asinmyboyfriend and me. (He’s my trusted navigator and the elected historian of the trip.) Our drive wentsmoothly…allninetyexitsof it.Whenwefinallystartedtoseesignsfor“OldMystic(x)milesaway,”boyfriendtriedhopelesslytocaptureapicture,butobviouslyat70mphitwasprettyimpossible. But an essential piece of the road trip pieisthephotographicproof,andaftermultipleattempts,hefinallysucceededjustaswearrived. TheMillwasonlyafewminutesaway,butonceweturnedfromMainStreettoNorthStoningtonRoaditwentfromcitytosomewhereoff thebeatenpath.TheMillistuckedawayamongtreesjustbeginningtofadeintotheirautumn blush. Thelowdown:B.F.Clyde’sCiderMillistheonlysurvivingsteampoweredcidermillin

ROAD TRIPBY ROSE CROSBY

theU.S.,familyownedandoperatedsince1881.Iknow,itsoundslikeadrag,whygothere?ButIpromise it isfun.Oh,anddidImention,free? Choosing to go to the Mill could have meanttwothings:1.Wecouldhavebeentheonly people there. 2. We could have been the only collegekidsthereamongstcrowdsof familiesandwhinykids.Luckily,neitherwasthecase. Wearrivedjustintimeforoneof thecider making demonstrations. Literally hundreds of apples are chopped and then pressed by thesteam-poweredmachinery,andwhiletheworkersseemcompletelyunaffectedbytheaudience,Iwaslikeakidinacandystore.TheMillisdeckedoutwithvintageequipment:jugs,signs/posters,andparaphernalia,butnotastackyandoverwhelmingasApplebee’s.If thatdoesn’tentertainyou,watchingtheapplepressingprocesswill.Afterthedemonstrationwasover,boyfriendandIwalkedaroundtherestof theClyde’sproperty.Inadditiontomakingsweetcider,Clyde’sproducesapplebutter,applejelliesandaslewof hardcidersandapplewines.Soforthoseof usthatarelegal,itisquiteanexperience—sorrykiddies,buttheyareadamantaboutcheckingIDs. Of courseourfirststopwasovertothe(free!)hardcidertasting.Andforgetwhatevernotion of hard cider you have (it’s nothing like Woodchuck,whichissweetandbubbly).Clyde’scidersarenotcarbonated,andtendtobemoretart.Wepurchasedahalf-gallonof theLuckyLioncider,madefromRussetapples,forjustunder$12withtax.

CIDER MILLS RULE

(continued on page 9)

6

Twoweeksago,Iranianpresident

MahmoudAhmadinejadstruttedhisfinely-

suited self into the United Nations and managed

to piss off a lot of people. He claimed that the

9/11attackswere‘abiglie’andwentonto

explainhowtheassaultsonU.S.soil“intended

toserveasapretextforfightingterrorism

and setting the grounds for sending troops

toAfghanistan.”Hiswordsdidn’tcomeasa

surprisetomany.Infact,inthepastfewyears,

it’sbeendifficultnottocomeacrossatleasta

handfulwhobelievein9/11conspiracytheories

thattheentirethingwasaninsidejob.

If conspiracytheorieshaveproven

anything,it’sthatitmustbehumannatureto

latchontocomplicatedanswerstomajorevents.

Oneman,withonerifle,shotone president?

Hellno,itmustbedeeperthanthat!40years

later,therearestillpeoplewhobelieveJFK’s

assassination must be more complex. Conspiracy

theorieshavethewonderfulabilitytocapture

our imaginations in a chokehold. We’re all

conspiracytheoristsatheart;wemaynotalways

believeaswearetold,butwecan’tresist

listeninganyway.

Theconspiracytheorist,asarule,seizes

upon any apparent inconsistency and from that

germof truththestoryisbuiltup.The9/11

documentary Loose Change captured the hearts of

teenagersandtwenty-somethingseverywhere.

The most popular theory is that the WTC

Towerscouldn’thavefallenthewaytheydid

fromstructuralweakeningduetofire;ithadto

be a controlled demolition. Another common

theoryisthatthePentagonwasnotactuallyhit

byaplane,butbyaU.Smissile.It’squiteeasy

toeatthisshitup,it’snatural(andjustified)for

ourgenerationtoquestionthoseincharge.But

therewerealotof sloppyinconsistenciesinLoose

Change,andthecreatorof thedocumentaryeven

came out and said so. He admitted that a lot of

thefactswereunverifiedandexaggerated.The

realtestwouldbetoseeif thepeoplewatching

wouldtakewhattheysawastruth,orgo

researchandfactcheckforthemselves.The9/11

TruthMovementisamorelegitamitegroupwho

criticised many of the claims made in the video.

Theproblemwithpeoplewhobelieveeverything

theyseeonYouTubeorreadonmessageboards

isthatingeneral,conspiracytheoriestendto

beshortondefinitive,“smoking-gun”evidence.

Manyareimpossibletodisprove,yettheabsence

of hard evidence can be interpreted as support

forthetheory,soit’ssortof likeanendlesscycle.

One of the most popular underground

theoriesistheferventbelief inReptilians,

spanning thousands of years of Earth history.

Maybe you’ve heard of them. Maybe you

knowoneof them.Typically,Reptiliansare

describedas6to8feettall,havingscalygreen

skin,andsmell.DavidIcke,aBritishauthor,

travelsaroundtheworldandspeakstocrowds

of thousands about the impending doom of the

Reptilian race and the mind control they have

overusall.Hewrotethattheyarecapableof

shape-shifting,andsincetherecentemergence

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING BY VANESSA CAVANAGH

7

of YouTubeandtheexpansionof thistheory,

manyfiguresinthemediahavebeenpeggedas

Reptilians.ThelistincludesGeorgeW.Bush,

writersandpersonalitiesonFoxNews,hundreds

of congressmen,TheQueenof Englandand

hundreds of others.

One of the more plausible theories out

thereisabouttheMontaukProject,aseries

of time travel and invisibility experiments

conductedinMontauk,LongIsland.Dozens

of bookshavebeenwrittenaboutthe

allegedcontactwithextraterrestriallife,the

enhancement of psychic abilities for those

involved,andtheconsequentcreationof the

‘Men in Black.’

There are hundreds upon thousands

of theorieslikethese.Somehavebeenproven

overtheyears,andothersloomoverusfor

decades.Forexample,thousandsof Americans

believe the conspiracies surrounding the creation

of certaindiseasesandthewithholdingof

theircuresinordertokeepthecancer/AIDS

industriesalive.SomebelievethatJohnLennon

waskilledbytheCIAbecausehehadtoomuch

influence,orthattheApollomoonlandingswere

staged.Someevenbelievethatthemarketing

schemebyCocaColainthe80’swasjustaplot

totakeawayaproductpeoplelovedandreplace

itwithonetheyknewpeoplewouldhate,justto

makeconsumerssquirmwhiletheywithhelditin

ordertoincreaseprofitswithitsre-release.

Forthoseof youwhoenjoystaying

uplateprowlingtheweb,somefascinating

theories to look into include but are not limited

to: The Fluoride Conspiracy (allegedly the

greatestcaseof scientificfraudinthiscentury),

TheIlluminati&Freemasonry(duh!),the

VrilSocietyConspiracy,theGulf of Tonkin

Resolution (the hoax that started the Vietnam

War) and the conspiracies surrounding the

Columbineshootings.Butdon’tstopthere,

keepreading,keeplooking.Justdon’tbelieve

everythingyouread,evenif itdoesmakeyour

imaginationwanttoflyawayandnestcomfortably

whereveritlands.

your. indy@gmai l .com

8

Adam Breidbart: Would you say you handle your money as well as Tony Stark?Alex Stark:Iworkmorethanjustthisjobsoit’s

easyformetolosetrackof myfinanceswhenit’s

flyingatmefromeverydirection,butthePSGA

moneyIfindisveryeasytohandlebecause

everythingissoprocedural.Idon’twanttosay

it’seasy,butyou’reneverconfusedaboutwhat

todobecausethere’salwayssomewheretolook

thatwilltellyouexactlywhattodo.

AB: What is your role in the PSGA as the Coordinator of Finance?AS:Myjobistohandleandtrainthetreasurers

foralltheclubs,organizationsandservices

andmakesuretheyknowhowtospendtheir

money.Thenwhentheyhavequestionsabout

spendingtheirbudget,theycometome.Inthe

springsemester,Imakesureallbudgetproposals

have meetings set up and that they get proper

allotmentsof money.I’malsoinchargeof

writingtheentirebudget,whichdoesn’tjust

includeclubs,orgsandservices,butalsothings

likeintramuralsportsandthegymgrant,which

isacouplethousanddollars;thingslikethat.

AB: What are your financial goals this year for the PSGA?AS:Lastyeartherewerealotof issueswith

clubs’treasurersandpresidentsnotknowing

howtospendtheirmoney,notunderstanding

theproceduresof spendingPSGAmoney.My

goal is to make sure there are no hiccups or

issues,especiallywithnewclubs.It’sexciting

thatthePSGAisgrowingandit’sagreatthing

8

ALEX STARKBY ADAM BREIDBART

because it’s one more place for students to go

andbeinvolved.Ithinkif youdon’tgetinvolved

inthingsatPurchase,youwon’thaveagood

experience.Iwouldalsoliketowriteanamazing

budget next semester that makes everyone happy.

AB: Where did your interest in this position come from?AS:LastyearIwasthesenatorof Alumni

Village.MyinterestinthePSGAcamefrom

RussellZambitobecausehewasoneof my

goodfriends;hewaschairof Senateandhe

introducedmetothePSGA.Whenitwastime

forhimtoleaveItookoverasleadgayinthe

PSGA.IsatonfinanceasasenatorandIsaw

whatNicodid,andIgotreallyinterested;after

askinghimabillionquestionsIrealizedthisis

completelywithinmyrealmof interest.

AB: Does your major tie into the position?AS:Yeah,Istartedoff atQueensCollegeas

afinancemajor.WhenIcametoPurchase

therewasnofinancemajorsoIswitchedto

economics.Iwouldn’tsomuchcallitan

economics program because there is so much

involvedinit,it’smorelikeabusinessprogram.

They incorporate elements of every single aspect

of moneyandbankingwhereitisreallyrelevant

to a position like mine.

AB: What’s the biggest pain about the job?AS:Idon’tthinkanythingisarealpain.Igotthis

positionexpectingtodoalotof workandIdowork

normally40-50hoursaweek,butIspreadoutmy

timewellenoughthatnothingseemslikeahassle.

COORDINATOR OF FINANCES

BY ADAM BREIDBART

COORDINATOR OF FINANCES

9

CAMPU S

AB: What has been your role in handling the aftermath of the flood in CCN?AS: None of the executives have been involved

inhandlingit,theschool(mostlytheOffice

of StudentLife)hasbeenhandlingthatwhole

situation. The school is paying for the damage

sononeof itiscomingfromthePSGAbudget.

Theonlythingreallybeingrenovatedisanew

carpetandnewceilingtile,anditshouldbefixed

withinthenexttwoweeks,whichisreallynice.

AB: How are all of the salaries for student service employees figured out into the budget?AS:It’smostlybasedonpastprecedence.When

IdomybudgetIdon’talteranyone’ssalary;

I’veseenthedramathathascomefromitin

thepast.ThePSGAstipendpositionshaveto

remember,we’reanon-profitorganizationand

none of us really get paid more than the other.

If youdoyourjobreallywellandcareabout

workingfortheschool,themoneyissecondary.I

don’tdothisforthemoney;IdoitbecauseIlove

thejob.Yougetalittlecompensationandit’s

also something great for your resume. We try to

spread the pay as fairly as possible.

AB: When you graduate from Purchase do you want a future in finance?AS:RightnowIampreparingfortheLSATand

planongoingtolawschool.InsomewaysI’llbe

involvedinfinance,butIwanttopracticelaw.

AB: What was the inspiration for your Toy Story tattoo? (Alex has the face of the 3-eyed alien on his arm.)AS:It’sactuallyareallyhorriblestory—Iwoke

uponemorningandsaid,“IreallywantaToy

Storytattoo,”andthenwentoutandgotit.The

designwasonthebackof anotebookIbought

atWal-Mart,andItookittothetattooartist.

NowIhaveitandIloveit.

(Road Trip: continued from page 5) Fromthere,wewenttotheiron-sitemarketfilledwithjams,jellies,syrups,andothergoodies.Nottomentiontheirfamoussweetciderandhomemadedonuts!Weeachhadacupof ciderandadonuttotaling$3!Themarkethasa$10minimumchargeforcredit/debitpurchases,so bring your loose change. Weenjoyedourafternoonsnackoutsidenexttothehomemadepopcornstation,andlistened to a country music cover band. Not necessarilymycupof cider,butittotallyfitthe setting. After torturing boyfriend by taking countless pictures of us by the corn stalks and pseudopumpkinpatch,wewentovertothe(free!) applewinetasting.Applewineisafunnything;Ihadnoideawhattoexpect,butitwasdelicious.Myrecommendationisthespicedapplewine,whichisbestconsumedwarm.Yes,hotwine.Thetastewassimilartoappletea.Basically,deliciousness.Allinall,otherthanthebeewitha personal vendetta against my cup of cider (and theport-a-potty)itwasagreatafternoon. Theroadtripcostabout$25inpurchases(food,ciderandparkingwhenwestoppedafterwardforfurtheradventuresindowntownMystic)and$20ingastogetthereandback.Overall,Mysticisanawesomeplacetovisit,farenoughtobeconsideredaroadtripbutcloseenoughtogoforjusttheday,evenif you’re

onabudget!Happy Ventures!

This article is published courtesy of Her Campus.http://hercampus.com/purchase

10

I don’t have the courage to tell this girl I like her—my past failures and rejections keep coming back to haunt me. I feel like such an idiot. Any advice? ThisquestionremindsMadameof a

quotefromoneof herfavoritemovie-musicals

of alltime,Fiddler on the Roof.Thepoortailor,

Motel,isdyingtomarryTevve’seldestdaughter

Tzeitel.Tevverefusesatfirst,butTzeitel

encouragesMotelandsays,“Evenapoortailor

isentitledtosomehappiness!”You,myfriend,

are entitled to some happiness. Don’t think that

youarethefirsttoberejectedandhumiliated

byyourcrushes.We’veallbeenthere,andif a

reader out there hasn’t then they’re the asshole

humiliatingandrejectingalltheinnocentsuitors.

Buteventhey’llhaveatimewhentheirloveis

not reciprocated.

Yes,evenMadamehasbeenrejected.

Inperson,overthephone,throughtextmessage

andsadlyevenfacebookchat.Itsucks,ithurts.It

makes you stronger and a much better lover.

Iwantyoutostopfeelinglikeanidiot,

take a good look in the mirror and scream “I

am hot shit!”...italwaysworksforMadame.(If

youshareadormitorybathroomIsuggestyou

whisperorthinkittoyourself,orelseyoumay

look like an idiot.)

SUBMIT YOUR QUESTIONS

TO MADAME QUERY

http://www.formspring.me/madamequery

MADAME QUERY HAS YOUR REMEDY

Any suggestions for the virgins out there? Yes, we do exist on this campus. I want to swipe my v-card soon-ish, but I still want to respect myself in the morning. Help! Justgetitdonewith.Getblackout

drunk. Get penetrated or penetrate. Respect

yourself by having an orgasm.

Actually,reallyrespectingyourself isthe

following:thinkaboutwhatyouwant.Think

aboutwhatyoucanlivewithafteryourv-cardis

gone.If youjustgoandloseittosomerandom

personwholivesdownthehallfromyouand

won’tcareafterward,doit.If you’regoingto

besuperlameandcryabouthowyoulostitto

someoneyoudidn’tcareabout,don’twasteyour

friends’timeandworryyourself bydoingitlike

that.If youjustwanttogetitdonewith,then

besafe,findyourwillingparticipantandpopa

squatonthem.

HereiswhatIwillsaytoyounomatter

whatdecisionyoumake:afteryouloseit,don’t

berecklessandloosey-goosey.Itisn’tapretty

sighttoseesomeonegodownthatroad.You’ll

looklikeacompletetwatif youdothat.That’s

nottosaythatyoushouldn’thavesextofulfill

someneeds.Youknow,likeeveryonceina

while,notenoughtomakeyou(andyourSTD

record)looklikewhore.Thereissuchathingas

masturbationafterall.Andif youwanttoshare

thelove,justkeepitsafeandasecret.Don’tfuck

withinthesamesocialcircles,oryouwon’thave

socialcirclestofuckwithin.ButIguessyouneed

toloseitfirstbeforethathappens.

11

ADV I C E

So one time last semester, I got a little shwasted and ended up going home and getting naked with a random dude. He’s nice and all, but a little too bro-y for my tastes. We haven’t really talked much since. Now we have two classes together. Help! Did he not make you “banana

pancakes” in the morning? Okay maybe that

wasabadJackJohnsonreference.AllIhaveto

sayisevenif heisbro-y,don’tmakeanything

awkward.Youcandoalmostanythingif you

act like nothing is phasing you. Fake it until

youmakeit.If youactstrangeorareobviously

tryingtoavoidhim,thenthatalready-too-big

elephantintheroomwilljustkeepgrowing.

Madame understands that it is hard to

notappearuncomfortable,becausethat’show

weautomaticallyfeelwhenthatsituationoccurs.

Justlastweeksheranintoaformerfling,triedto

bepoliteandsayhelloandthengottreatedwith

TheBigIgnore.Itburnswhenyoutrytobenice

to someone you don’t even really care about and

theyactlikeanasshole.Regardless,therewas

alsoapositiveside:Iwasn’ttheasshole.Iwasthe

innocent one trying to make things right and he

wasthecowardwhojustsoconvenientlyturned

hisheadrightasIwalkedintotheroom.

Don’tpretendheisn’tthere.Youboth

knowwhoisinyourclass.Youdon’thavetogo

outof yourwaytotalktohim,butif youcatch

eachother’seye,giveanoblewave.Awaveora

simplehellodoesnotsignalthatyou’rewilling

togivethisguyanothernightof pleasure.If

he’sjustasmatureasIhopeyouare,he’llknow

you’rejustsayinghiandnothingelse.

A response to last week’s Pakistan article:Thank you for looking at Pakistan and trying

totacklealargeinternationalissueintheIndy.

It’snicetoseetheIndyeventryingtolooklike

arealnewspaperafterrecentyears.Although

Ms.Cavanaghraisedsomegreatpoints,she

missedtwolargereasonsforthelackof media

attentiononthePakistanifloodsascomparedto

thecoverageonHaiti.ThefirstisthatPakistan

is one of the most dangerous places on Earth.

Journalistsarenotallowedinmanypartsof

thecountry,sotravelthereisnearlyimpossible.

TheotherpointIwanttobringupisthat

Pakistan’sgovernment,ascorruptandineptas

ithasbeen,stillstandsandgovernswithvarying

degrees of success. The Haitian government

wascompletelyintatters,unabletoaiditsown

people. Neither of these are excuses for the lack

of media coverage or donations to the victims

of theflood,onlypartialexplanations.Also,

concerningthissamearticle,pleasedon’twrite

in a highly sarcastic manner to your readers.

Theydon’twanttobeeducatedthrough

derisionandguilt.Andif anything,pleasenever

NEVERpunctuategruesomefactswith“yum.”

Iappreciatethewriter’sattemptathumor,but

itjustcameoutpettyandliterallyrevolting.

If you’regoingtotrytowriteaboutaserious

subject,atleasttrytobeserious.Again,congrats

totheIndy,andkeepupthegoodwork! -AR

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