The Pulse 9.07 » Feb. 16-22, 2012

the bowl » talk of the noog

» it’s the wine economy, stupid state rep. jon lundberg fightsfor wine in grocery stores

» ava’s bridge rising new arts journal launching

screen ‘the artist’ silent (movie) treatment

arts laura linZava’s neW 4 BriDges DireCtor

lewis black comes to the tivoli on feb. 24—and he’s pissed.

BLACK HUMOR Music richard winham James mcmurtryameriCa’s BeleagUereD BarD

by ch

uck c

rowd

erfood mayberry, m.e.d.Corner store internationale

2 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 16-22, 2012 • chaTTanoogaPulse.com

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Coolidge Park | Saturday, Feb. 18 | NoonExperience Chattanooga’s 2012 Mardi Gras Party Parade,

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Visit www.mardigraschattanooga.comor call 423.521.7160 for more details!

chaTTanoogaPulse.com • FEBRUARY 16-22, 2012 • The Pulse • 3

EDITORIALPublisher Zachary cooperCreative Director Bill RamseyContributors Rich Bailey • chuck crowdermichael crumb • John DeVore • Brook evansRandall gray • Dr. Rick Pimental-habib • Janis hashe matt Jone • chris Kelly • D.e. langley • mike mcJunkinernie Paik • alex Teach • Richard WinhamCartoonists Rick Baldwin • max cannonJesse Reklaw • Tom TomorrowPhotography Josh lang • lesha PattersonInterns Britton catignani • Kinsey elliottmolly Farrell

ADVERTISINGSales Director lysa greer Account Executives David Barry • Rick leavell

CONTACT Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335Email [email protected]@chattanoogapulse.comGot a stamp? 1305 carter st.chattanooga, Tn 37402

LETTERSPlease limit letters to 300 words or less. letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity.

ThE FINE PRINT The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer media and is distrib-uted throughout the city of chattanooga and surrounding com-munities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrat-ing on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. no person without written permission from the publish-ers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

© 2012 Brewer media

BREWER MEDIA GROUPPresident Jim Brewer II

ChattanoogaPulse.com • Facebook.com/chattanoogaPulse

COVER STORY

Black on Black• No offense, Chattanooga, but it’s also no surprise: Lewis Black is pissed—and he’s coming to the Tivoli Theatre to vent. Be ready for full-throttle anger, unmanaged. Chuck Crowder talks to the comedian and traces his career from playwright (yes, that’s right) to his breakout skits on “The Daily Show.” » 7

MUSIC

America’s Beleaguered Bard• Richard Winham excuses James McMurtry’s often stoic and abrasive personality. The singer-songwriter’s music—gritty rock tales of the heartland—says more about him than any interview. » 11

ARTS

Laura Linz: No Bridge Too Far• AVA’s new 4 Bridges Festival director »talks about her new role, the arts in Chattanooga and this year’s festival. » 14

Cracking Open Dance• Barking Legs reboots “Dances in Raw States” with a renewed emphasison audience feedback. » 15

Laura Linz photographedby Lesha Patterson

since 2003

chattanooga’s weekly alternative

ContentsFEBRUARY 16-22, 2012 • ISSUE NO. 9.07

the bowl » talk of the noog

» it’s the wine economy, stupid state rep. jon lundberg fightsfor wine in grocery stores

» ava’s bridge rising new arts journal launching

screen ‘the artist’ silent (movie) treatment

arts laura linZava’s neW 4 BriDges DireCtor

lewis black comes to the tivoli on feb. 24—and he’s pissed.

BLACK HUMOR Music richard winham James mcmurtryameriCa’s BeleagUereD BarD

by ch

uck c

rowd

er

food mayberry, m.e.d.Corner store internationale

NEW ThIS WEEK

1,000 Words• Cleveland-based journalist and writer Brook Evans’ wonderful “Resplendent: A Southerner’s Repose,” captures the magnetic appeal and unique charms of the South as we launch our series of occasional essays. » 23


The short item, which popped up on the Times Free Press’ website on Feb. 7, was based on a report in the Knox-ville News Sentinel which cit-ed Lundberg as saying he had expected a “better fate” for his bill because it would require voters to approve supermar-ket wine sales in their city or county.

“The story was fine, but the headline (‘Wine in grocery stores bill fails again in TN’) is a misnomer. The bill is not dead,” Lundberg says, with only a hint of amusement.

In fact, Lundberg’s House Bill 560, which seeks a refer-endum for sale of wine in re-tail food stores, is supported by Senate Bill 318, sponsored by State Sen. Bill Ketron (R-Murfreesboro). The bill would allow individual cities and counties to decide on the sale of wine in grocery stores or other retail outlets besides liquor stores by popular vote. Lundberg also introduced a bill to make those same sales legal statewide without a vote.

Lundberg’s quest is long, but not quixotic, and is the lat-est salvo in the battle to undo the state’s tangled web of long-standing liquor laws, which have resulted in Tennesseans

crossing the state’s many bor-ders and taking their business to stores in states like Geor-gia and Virginia where liquor sales are less restrictive.

Lundberg faces powerful opposition from the Tennes-see Wine and Spirits Retailers Association, which represents the state’s locally owned li-quor distributors and stores, currently the only businesses allowed to sell wine in Ten-nessee.

Of Lundberg’s attempt—the sixth straight year such a measure has been introduced during General Assembly, dy-ing each previous time—Da-vid McMahan, a lobbyist for the association, argues that local referendums would al-low big box retailers like Walmart and Costco to spend large amounts of money to spread what he calls “misin-

formation.”“I can understand it,” Lund-

berg says of the opposition. “If you had a monopoly business, you’d be protective, too.”

But while Lundberg couch-es his bill in “freedom to vote” rhetoric, his motivation is very much economic, a plat-form that could be called the Wine Economy—and he obvi-ously believes his opponents are, well, stupid.

Like Chattanoogans, Lun-dberg lives in a border city, in his case the tri-cities area of Bristol in northeast Tennes-see.

“My motivation is probably very similar [to those Chat-tanoogans who would like the option],” says Lundberg. “I live in Bristol, where, like Chatta-nooga, the state border is lit-erally a mile away. And I see people going to other states to buy wine in a one-stop shop. Tennessee borders eight other states and it’s driving business out of our state.”

During his argument last year, Lundberg referenced Chattanooga, saying that Costco chose to locate its new store in Fort Oglethorpe instead of the Scenic City be-cause Georgia laws allow the company to sell wine.

Besides convenience, Lund-berg says, the law would bring jobs and millions of dollars to the state in tax revenue.

“Every bill has a fiscal note,” he says, “and this one makes millions of dollars. The sales tax alone would bring in $22 million a year.”

The state liquor lobby coun-ters that the law would cause

local liquor stores around the state to close, eliminating small businesses as big-box retailers like Walmart ex-pand. Distributors would also likely be forced to lower their prices due the volume pur-chased by large chains.

“North Carolina did this [passed a similar law] three or four years ago,” Lundberg says. “I think they had some-thing like 687 liquor stores be-fore the law went into effect. Afterwards, they had 683. They obviously didn’t all fold. It wasn’t catastrophic.”

Supporters of Lundberg’s bills (which The Pulse consid-ers itself one of) measure the passage of such laws as a giant leap forward economically, as a matter of convenience and a historic transition in undoing the state’s archaic Blue Laws. Allowing the sale of wine in grocery stores and other retail outlets besides liquor stores, which are closed on Sundays, could pave the way for Sunday liquor sales, and the final re-versal of the age-old laws.

While that question isn’t specifically addressed in his bill, he says he doesn’t oppose the move. But Lundberg’s not picking a fight with anti-liquor forces. He simply views the new law as a logical eco-nomic strategy for the state, as well as a convenience.

“I enjoy a glass of wine on occasion,” he says, “but I don’t want to drive to another state to purchase it.”

The bill will come up for a vote before the General As-sembly in the next four or five weeks, he says. —Bill Ramsey

TALK OF ThE NOOG FACEBOOK/chaTTanoogaPulse • EMAIL: [email protected]

tHeBoWLIt’s the Wine Economy, Stupidwhen the associated press reported last week that the latest effort to allow wine to be sold in Tennessee supermarkets had failed for lack of a sponsor in the state Senate, State Rep. Jon Lundberg (R-Bristol) says he felt a bit like the newly re-elected Harry Truman in the iconic photo of the president holding the newspaper with the headline, “Dewey Defeats Truman.” To paraphrase Mark Twain, the news of the bill’s demise has been greatly ex-aggerated.

POLITICS

The death of State Rep. Jon Lundberg’s wine in grocery stores bill has been greatly exaggerated.

connecting art & community

LISA NORRIS

Tubatomic

+ in the art biz .. blue skies

+ art exhibition .. ok mountain

+ art info .. art investment

+ workspace

renaissance gal:artist / entrepreneur

art for a different audience

vol. 1 ~ 2012

a publication of

the BRIDGE

chattanooga’s arts community is an integral part of the city’s current founda-tion. With well-known, seasoned events such as the 4 Bridges Art Festival, our city is abundant with creative influence. It is only natural that sooner or later that en-ergy would be transposed into print. The Association for Visual Arts has taken on the task with its new quarterly arts maga-zine, aptly named The Bridge.

“It’s a telling of the visual and applied arts in our community—in-depth stories of art people and organizations, why the arts matter, and how the visual arts are connected to our community at large,” said Anne Willson, executive director of AVA.

The free magazine, which launches on Feb. 15, is not solely for AVA members or events, however the magazine is primarily an online publication, with print editions provided for AVA’s higher donors.

The Bridge will initially focus on visual, fine and applied arts, Willson said, and grow to include a broad spectrum of me-diums.

“While the [design-based] applied arts are rooted in the fine art foundation, a chasm has grown over the years between the two sectors. We’re saying that, today, the two are aligned and mutually inform one another,” Willson said.

In the fall, AVA will be asking for com-

AVA unveils The Bridge arts journal

ThE ARTS


editoon RICK BALDWIN

from April 13 to 22, artists from all over the region will occupy down-town Chattanooga, mak-ing the city their own working studio.

As part of the first an-nual HATCH, the much-buzzed-about collab-orative citywide arts and culture showcase, Make-Work will host a 10-day exhibition of 100 creative works established on a 10-by-10-block city foot-print. Streets, parking lots, parks and abandoned buildings will become a medium to construct, in-novate and celebrate cre-ativity.

These 100 works, spread out from the riv-erfront to Martin Luther King Boulevard, will in-clude 10 artifacts, which are substantial physical and phenomenal struc-tures, and 90 anima-tions, which are creative happenings sprinkled

throughout downtown to engage visitors and en-liven their interactions with the artistic displays. These works will inspire and be inspired by the creative spirit of Chatta-nooga.

The 10 site-specific artifacts, with locations chosen with the help of the Chattanooga History Center, will be spaced throughout this 10-by-10 footprint so that two ar-tifacts in the same area will be highlighted each day. These artifacts in-volve materiality and for-

mal architecture, and will bring to life the history and culture of the city’s downtown core and give visitors a sense of com-munity and place. Many of these artifacts engage the industrial heritage that is integral to Chatta-nooga’s identity.

The 90 animations are more fluid than the ar-tifacts, and serve to en-ergize and enliven each block. They are divided into three time-sensitive categories, from short and exciting experiences like a pop-up fashion show to more lasting installations like sculpture and a graf-fiti skate park.

For all of these works, the aim is to inspire and engage the community of downtown Chattanooga and celebrate its unique culture, creativity and history. For more infor-mation, visit makework.is.

City becomes studio during 10x10hATCh FESTIVAL

munity input, looking for great art stories waiting to be shared, as well as asking for info to support the advocacy page.

The Bridge was made possible by a for-mer board member, Mark Song, who do-nated his time to bring the publication to life. AVA also received advertising sup-port from their 2011 sponsors. After the first few issues, the magazine will offer ad space for companies and organizations in-terested in marketing alignment.

The publication’s title was somewhat in-spired by its signature 4 Bridges festival, as it connects the Chattanooga community with artists from our city, our state, and across the country. The bridge, as a sym-bol, is both reflected in AVA’s identity and serves as a “guiding metaphor” for other programs within the organization, Will-son said.

“Chattanooga is the perfect town for this; we are really quite excited about the magazine becoming part of AVA’s ongoing work,” she said. —Kinsey Elliott

Every day, they write the book (of authors)local resident authors, past and present, are being sought out by the Chat-tanooga Writers’ Guild in order to cre-ate a definitive master list of the region’s published authors. The writers’ guild is a non-profit organization that supports and promotes the craft of writing in greater Chattanooga. They are seeking authors who currently live, or have lived, in Chat-tanooga that have published a book that is for sale to the public.

In order to maintain their goal of sup-porting all local authors, organizer Lantz Powell said the guild needs to find out who they are to create communication with non-published authors. Once informa-tion is gathered and the list is made, the guild will throw a party for the published authors.

“Our rule is if you were born here, went to school here, or moved here recently you can be on our list,” said Powell. He said the guild has been getting phone calls from out of state writers wishing to be included, so the list is continuously growing.

“Chattanooga has a good history and a lot of people understand they have mem-ories their grandparents told them that need to be put on paper,” Powell said.

The guild is seeking leads on authors, whether published by traditional houses, small regional publishers or self-pub-lished, all published works are eligible to be included. To submit information, email your list of published books with your con-tact information to [email protected]. —Kinsey Elliott


Except for the New York Gi-ants recent example of a great Bowl game, I literally can’t re-member the last thing I was right about—and who saw that coming? For instance:

The mayor won’t stop hiring cops, not for two whole years anyway, which has never been done and would cause a 20 per-cent reduction in the force that could only be made worse by a simultaneous pay freeze. At least they’ll be able to respond from their homes, because the loss of 58 percent of the cars they use to bring their offi-cers and bodies to in-progress and other major investigations could cause a spike in crime. Gangs were already a problem, after all.

And if that happens, he’ll never hire a lawyer and a minis-ter to address the problem, be-cause that would seem re-frea-kin’-diculous. He also would never, ever do all that under the guise of fiscal restraints and then direct financial resources to the City Wellness Center to the tune of $4.1 (Holy God) million-dollars; it would give the impression he’s making the

city vulnerable for a Hamilton County government takeover, which also seems strange.

I know these things, because I’m so smart. At least that’s what I thought at the time. Maybe time has been the prob-lem though?

Five years ago, I would have called you were nuts if you said the mayor’s office would allow a firm owned by a convicted felon to be hired to install closed-circuit security TV’s in police headquarters, particularly if they were unlicensed (because they’d be in violation of State Law T.C.A. 62-32-315, not that anyone looked).

Someone would notice. Someone would care. (Wrong. Well, partially. Someone no-ticed, but no reporter cares. Emotionally numb maybe?)

And surely someone like me

wouldn’t bring it up like this. Imagine the heat I’d catch. But that’s not what’s got me more introspective than usual about my prescient handicap.

I once would have thought that no one would help a man flee a community corrections program and acquire and hide guns, cover up robberies com-mitted with them, and ulti-mately aid and abet him after murdering a police officer. Which is what brings me to my quandary.

I’m writing this on a Thurs-day, but the sentencing hear-ing regarding the above for the murder of my co-worker isn’t until the following Monday, and this won’t see print until the Thursday after that dates.

What if they get the maxi-mum sentence available? I want that very much, as much as I want the soulless son of a bitch who was witnessed kill-ing my friend to feel rabbit-like terror when he feels cold poison sliding up his arm from his an-tecubital veins as he’s tied down to a cross-shaped stretcher. (Color me Old Testament, if you will; I’ll live with it.)

So if I’m wrong about some-thing as obvious as receiving maximum sentencing for as-sisting in such an obviously horrific crime spree—some-thing more shocking to the

conscious mind than even the framers of those sentences may have conceived—do I want to write about it four days in ad-vance of the hearing and seven days prior to going to press?

I guess reading this column answers the question.

And do you know why? For the same reason I’m so wrong about these other once-obvious conclusions: I’m an optimist, I guess.

I’m a glass-is-half-full guy, a good-guys-always-win idiot. Sunshine and puppies? Well, it’s cloudy most days and I buried my dog with a sizeable portion of my soul in chert and clay soil not too long ago, so not so much that. But in general I’m a pretty cheery son of a gun. And my charitable, light-hearted nature is clearly a weakness.

I want to be told why any of the numbers I spat out are “good.” I want to know why a

little boy named Nathan Up-shaw who now only lives in my dreams had to live through 80 years’ worth of horror com-pressed into five short ones. I want to know why politicians can’t do things by just doing them for the right reasons as opposed to the absurdity that is finally getting people hurt and killed (yes, I said that) through violence perpetuated by irre-sponsible decisions and priori-ties.

And I want to believe that Ray, Kathleen and Rachel Mat-thews, as well as Rachel’s idiot boyfriend James Poteete, will get every minute possible in sentencing for their crimes.

By the time you read this we’ll find out just how half-full or half-empty that glass re-ally is. But still, what difference does it make?

All my natural optimism doesn’t make this world any less of a shitty place, but at least I’m trying.

(And my building surveil-lance was very well installed, “laws” and “impropriety” aside. See? Mr. Cheerful to the end.)

Mr. Cheerful, The Eternal Optimiston the Beat ALEx TEACh

Columnist Alex Teach is a full-time police officer of nearly 20 years experience. The opin-ions expressed are his own. Fol-low him on Facebook at face-book.com/alex.teach.

i am hesitant to write about the immediate future not because I am afraid of being wrong about it; I am hesi-tant because I am always wrong about it. I just don’t want this time to be like the other times I’ve been wrong.

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“All my natural optimism doesn’t make this world any less of a shitty place, but at least I’m trying.


the sky is falling and

lewis black is running on empty

by chuck crowderwith an election year approaching, this is a very trying time for most Americans, but especially Lew-is Black. While Democrats wonder what President Obama will achieve by the end of his first term in office and Republicans try and keep up with which candidate will nab the nomination to run against him, Lewis Black is pounding his head against the wall over both prospects.

“Republicans have bad ideas, Democrats have no ideas,” Black laments from a hotel

room in St. Louis on his current stand up comedy

tour. “And the worst part is that all the Democrats do is

just take the Republicans’ bad ideas and make them worse.”

A political “analyst” for de-cades, Black’s comedy is based on one thing—whatever makes him angry. And nothing makes Black angrier than the political climate in the United States.

“I feel like I’m on the Titanic

and I’m the only one that knows what’s going to happen,” said Black. “Obama deserves credit for killing Osama Bin Laden be-cause it happened on his watch, but what the Republicans don’t want to give him credit for is saving the auto industry. What a huge win for the economy.”

A fan of neither party, Black has plenty to say about both in his new cable special on Epix called “Running on Empty,” which he’ll bring to the Tivoli Theatre stage live at 8 p.m. on Friday, Feb. 24.

»P8

ON


In fact, Black has been offering up jeering observations on subjects such as history, social mores and politics on stage since the 1970s. But it wasn’t un-til 1996 when friend and producer Lizz Winstead asked Black to create a regular three-minute segment for a new Comedy Central program called “The Daily Show” that most people started to take notice.

“I was actually hired for the show long before Stephen Colbert or even Jon Stew-art for that matter, but it was a happy ac-cident for all of us,” Black explained. “We all have a knack for conveying our dis-gust for the system in a way that makes people listen and laugh. Playing off of each other just served to hone our skills and keep each other pissed off.”

Free to rant about whatever was both-ering him at the time, his appearances on the show evolved into the popular “Back in Black” segment that became one of the longest running skits on the show and earned him national acclaim. In fact, his successful relationship with Comedy Central has generated four stand-up spe-cials and two series, “Last Laugh with Lewis Black” and “Lewis Black’s Root of All Evil.”

It was his continued exposure on “The Daily Show,” however, that earned Black Best Male Stand Up at the American Comedy Awards in 2001 and a recording deal with Stand Up! Records. Releas-ing eight albums, six under the Comedy

Central Records label, Black has won two Grammies for Best Comedy Album, the first in 2007 for “The Carnegie Hall Performance” and the second in 2011 for “Stark Raving Black.”

He’s filmed two HBO specials, “Black On Broadway” and “Red, White and Screwed,” the latter of which was nomi-nated for an Emmy in 2007. His regular feature on two seasons of “Inside the NFL” earned him a sports Emmy for Out-standing Studio Show in 2005. In 2009, Lewis filmed his first feature length con-cert film, “Stark Raving Black,” at the Fillmore Theatre in Detroit.

Pretty good for a playwright. Yep, you read correctly, Black is a degreed, achieved and wanna-succeed play-wright. Long before he ever thought about taking the stage as a stand-up comedian, Black fell in love with the theater as a child. This ultimately led to his studying drama at the University of North Carolina and earning a master’s from Yale Drama School.

Black eventually settled down in New York City and became the playwright-in-residence at the West Bank Café’s Down-stairs Theatre Bar, where he oversaw the development of more than 1,000 plays, including works by “West Wing” creator Aaron Sorkin and “American Beauty” writer Alan Ball as well as his own origi-nal works. As the emcee for every show Black honed his skills as a stand-up and

eventually, as the popularity of his come-dy grew in the ’80s, he left the West Bank to pursue stand-up full time.

Despite this focus on comedy, Black has penned more than 40 plays over the years, many of which have been pro-duced around the country. “The Deal,” a dark comedy about business, was made into a short film in 1998 and picked up by the Sundance Channel. In 2005, Garry Marshall’s Falcon Theatre in Los Ange-les produced “One Slight Hitch,” a play later produced in Tampa Bay in 2006 and more recently in Seattle this year.

“ ‘One Slight Hitch’ is a romantic com-edy that you’d never think was mine un-less you read the credits,” said Black. “I wrote it more than 30 years ago in an attempt to become rich and famous as a writer. Most of my plays are dark, surreal comedies more in line with my personal-ity on stage as a comedian.”

His views on politics and the general weirdness surrounding us fuel the con-tent of both his plays and his stand-up material. Never further than arm’s reach of an opinion on current events, Black shared with me his views on two key newsmakers.

“I kind of like what the Tea Party and Occupy Movement are all about if I’m understanding their views correctly,” he said. “They need leadership. They need someone to say ‘here’s the deal.’ But they seem to be saying something I want to

hear. Actually they should be listening to Romney and Newt, because both have recent speeches that mimic some of the key points of both groups.”

On his predictions regarding the top-sy-turvy Republican primaries, Black said, “I think Romney will take the Re-publican nomination because he may be the lesser of two Republican evils. What kills me is that Newt actually has two women. I would rather imagine my parents having sex than Newt with any woman.”

Towards the end of the interview, I asked Black about his soft spot for the South.

“If I lived there all of the time I’d weigh 300 pounds,” he said. “It’s like, ‘Oh, I didn’t know you could put fat on top of fat and then drizzle sugar on it.’ But I do love barbecue, and that’s what I look forward to around the time I make it to Chattanooga.”

That’s good, because we’ll be looking forward to Lewis Black.

Lewis Black8 p.m.Friday, Feb. 24Tivoli Theatre709 Broad st.Tickets: $47.50-$75.50(423) 757-5050chattanoogaonstage.com

“if i lived there all of the time i’d weigh 300 pounds.

it’s like, ‘oh, i didn’t know you could put fat on top

of fat and then driZZle sugar on it.’ ” lewis black on the south


THUR02.16

»Pulse PICK OF ThE LITTER

tHeLIstFeB. 16-22CALenDAR

»Pulse PICKS

MUSIC

Machines Are People Too• Hot dream-pop sounds from a hot band.10 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews221 market st. • (423) 267-4644rhythm-brews.com

EVENT

“Dances in Raw States”• Audiences can ask questions about dances as they work out the kinks. See feature on Page 15.7 p.m. • Barking legs Theatre1307 Dodds ave. • (423) 624-5347barkinglegs.org

FRI02.17

SAT02.18

SUN02.19

Three Days of the ConJust when guests and visitors to the chat-tanooga choo choo figured it was safe to roam the lobby, gardens and campus of the property with more or less assurance they would not encounter aliens, super-heroes or steampunks, along comes con nooga, hot on the heels of January’s an-nual chattacon, also held at the complex.

Fear not, choo choo visitors. The orga-nizers and guests of con nooga come in (relative) peace and assure us that “safe” is an operational byword. In fact, the founders of con nooga, the multi-genre fandom festival now in its fifth year and growing fast, told The Pulse they cre-ated the con largely for that reason.

“We wanted to create a safe, family-oriented con that offered something like [atlanta’s] Dragon con offers to the many different types of fans in the re-gion,” says co-founder Todd Patton.

The reference is a slightly veiled dart tossed at the older chattacon, which is primar-ily a science fiction literary convention, but is also widely known as a “party con,” featuring a “con suite” where the beer flows freely. con nooga has no such suite, but private parties are allowed in rooms.

The differences between the two cons are larger and growing. In its first year, con nooga drew 1,000 attendees (the aver-age draw of chattacon, now in it’s 37th year) and has been growing at a rate of 20 to 25 percent each year, says Patton.

“We’ve hit hotel capacity and now we’re

MUSIC

James McMurtry with Jonny Burke• American bard. See feature on Page 11.9:30 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews • 221 market st.(423) 267-4644 • rhythm-brews.com

EVENT

hunter Underground 2012• “Smash & Grab” in the Hunter basement.8 p.m. • hunter museum of american art10 Bluff View • (423) 267-0968huntermuseum.org

MUSIC

Cloud Nothings• Hot indie rock act, next big thing.9 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia 231 e. mlK Blvd.(423) 266-1400

EVENT

Break Out the Bubbly: Wine Tasting• Champagne—not just for New Year’s Eve. 6 p.m. • Back Inn café412 e. 2nd st. • (423) 265-5033bluffviewartdistrict.com

MUSIC

“Connect the Dots”• Cool local music program with a degrees-of-separation slant hosted by father and son team.8:30 p.m. • WuTc 88.1-Fm • wutc.org

EVENT

Moccasin Bend Brewery Tour• Tour and taste at local brewery.2 p.m. • moccasin Bend Brewing co. 4015 Tennessee ave. • (423) 821-6392bendbrewingbeer.com

expanding into the convention center,” says Patton. con nooga will spill over next year into 36,000 feet of conven-tion center space, and Patton says he’s working with the center to expand that space exponentially in the coming years.

This year’s con nooga features a strong lineup of gaming, talent, func-tions and events, along with the popular dealer booths and art shows (profiled recently in The Pulse). unlike chat-tacon, you won’t simply find guests dressed as characters from “star Wars,” but rather a mix of characters that reflects con nooga’s diversity.From the worlds of science fiction, mov-

ies, anime, fantasy, horror and the para-normal, con nooga, says co-founder Jeff hickey, is all about the broad spec-trum of fans who converge on the choo choo each year for the mini festival.

“as people tell us,” says hickey, “go one year and you’ll see the difference.”

live long and prosper.— Bill Ramsey

Con NoogaFeb. 17-19chattanooga choo choo1400 market st.connooga.com

Ladysmith Black MombazoThUR 02.16 • Famed South African a cappella group stops at UTC.7:30 p.m. • Roland hayes concert hall • 725 Vine st. • (423) 425-4601utc.edu/music


FRIDAY 2/17BUCKNER BROTHERS

BAND9 pm

SATURDAY 2/18THE MICKS

9 pm9 pm

SUNDAY 2/19HAPPY HOUR ALL DAY!

MONDAY 2/20MICHAEL MCDADE

7 pm

TUESDAY 2/21KARAOKE CONTESTKARAOKE CONTEST$1000 GRAND PRIZE

★ WEEKLY PRIZES ★WEEKLY QUALIFYING 8PM $2 SANGRIA

WEDNESDAY 2/22TROY UNDERWOOD

7:30 pm

THURSTHURSDAY 2/23THURSDAY NIGHT FEVER

with DJ BARRYDISCO-FOOD-DRINKS-PRIZES

7-11 pm

Music

He calls his songs “twisted fiction.” Like John Prine, his songs tell a story filled with small, telling details and a wry wit, but he never writes a lyric before first having a tune or at least a riff. Listening to him on the album recorded live in a club in Holland a couple of years back is like listening to Prine fronting a boozy Stones-fired, Crazy Horse-style rock ‘n’ roll band in full flight.

Every time I’ve talked to McMurtry he has had the heavy air of a man who can barely raise the energy needed to keep up his end of the con-versation. But when he straps on his guitar, he comes alive. You’ll hear what I mean if you listen to the beginning of “Live in Europe,” recorded in Amsterdam in 2009. An ex-cited Dutch MC is shouting a garbled introduction while the band, oblivious to him and

impatient, is already playing their first song. McMurtry has no time for banter or small talk when what he has to say is so damned important.

And of course he’s right. He may seem rude at times and even a little abrasive, but it’s mostly just a front. He’s a tur-tle sheltering from the cruel winds inside his shell while looking in on the lives of the powerless, all trying to sur-vive and doing all they can to hold onto their dreams. These are the people whose lives are limned in songs like “We Can’t Make It Here Anymore,” men

and women working “two jobs and livin’ in cars” in small towns way off the interstate where only those who live there ever go. These are the places McMurtry makes it a point to visit because … well, hell, somebody’s got to tell their story.

But don’t make the mistake of thinking that McMurtry is some hand-wringin’ do-gooder come to make you feel guilty. First and foremost he’s a rock ‘n’ roll guitar player with a butt-kickin’, take-no-prisoners band. Talking about his work in the notes to the al-bum “St. Mary of the Woods” he said, “I grew up listening to music, not writing poetry.” The words are very impor-tant, but the sound matters just as much. This is rock ‘n’ roll written and sung by a poet who can play as well as he can write.

The son of novelist Larry McMurtry, James grew up listening to Johnny Cash and Roy Acuff in his father’s Fort Worth home. His father gave him his first guitar when he was just 7 years old, but it was his mother, Jo Ballard Scott McMurtry, an English profes-

sor, who taught him to play it. She introduced him to Kris Kristofferson and took him to a Kristofferson concert when he was 9 years old.

“I already had a guitar which I was serious about,” McMurtry told one interview-er. “But Kris was a songwrit-er. I’d never really wondered about where songs came from before.”

He was 25 before he com-pleted his first song, but once he started he never stopped. In short order, he had a con-tract and was making his first album, “Too Long In The Wasteland.” The title song about a guy undone by bad de-cisions is a gritty, Dylan-esque vision of one life in a blasted landscape where there “are bullet holes in the mailbox.”

McMurtry has been shar-ing these blunt narratives for more than 20 years now, so is it really any surprise that he often has the air of a man who has been disappointed by life? But when the drums kick in and he hits that first growl-ing note on his guitar all of the frustration and hopelessness he’s felt is focused and yet for-gotten.

When he was young he dreamed he and his mother could fly. These days on a good night we can all fly with him.

James McMurtry $15 • 9:30 p.m.saturday, Feb. 18Rhythm & Brews221 market st.(423) 267-4644 rhythm-brews.com

America’s Beleaguered Bard

as singer-songwriter james mcmurtry sees it, he is selling the fantasy of the disgruntled third son who sees through the myth. It is the counter narrative to the one embedded in the Nashville version of life as it’s lived in 21st century America. He’s an outsider on the inside tell-ing tales from the disheartened heartland. He’s also a hell of a guitar player with a great band to match.

RIChARD WINhAM

Richard Winham is the host and producer of WUTC-FM’s afternoon music program and has observed the Chat-tanooga music scene for more than 25 years.


Thur 02.16Jeff Link8 p.m. acoustic café, 61 RBc Drive, Ringgold, ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.comCloud Nothings, Future Virgins, Elk Milk9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400Milele Roots with Montezuma Fire Machine9 p.m. The honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.comhusky Burnette with the Scissormen9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st.(423) 267-4644 rhythm-brews.com

Fri 02.17The Fog8 p.m. acoustic café, 61 RBc Drive, Ringgold, ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.comStrung Like A horse8 p.m. The camp house, 1427 Williams st. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.comPower Players Show Band9 p.m. Bart’s lakeshore, 5840 lake Resort Ter.

(423) 870-0777 bartslakeshore.comBuckner Brothers9 p.m. sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad st. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.comMark holder9 p.m. The office, 901 carter st. (423) 634-9191Ben Friberg Trio featuring Greg Tardy9:30 p.m. market street Tavern, 850 market st., (423) 634-0260 marketstreet-tavern.comChristabel and the Jons, Ashley hicks and the x’s, Staggolee10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400Machines are People Too with SoCro10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st.(423) 267-4644 rhythm-brews.comBackwater Still10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 chestnut st. (423) 266-4240 tboneschatta-nooga.comMark holder10 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 hixson Pike (423) 266-1996

tremonttavern.comBounty hunter10 p.m. Bud’s sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com

Sat 02.18Strung Like A horse10 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 hixson Pike (423) 266-1996tremonttavern.com Never Surrender6:30 p.m. southside saloon & Bistro, 1301 chestnut st. (423) 757-4730 southside-saloonandbistro.com

Common Ground8 p.m. acoustic café, 61 RBc Drive, Ringgold, ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.comKofi Mawuko Benefit with Lumbar Five & OGYA8 p.m. Barking legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.orgJosh Gilbert CD Release Show with Kyle MacKillop8 p.m. The camp house, 1427 Williams st. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.comTony Levi’s Wedding, Rough Rope, Loss, Shadow of the Destroyer9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400Dan Cowart9 p.m. The office, 901 carter st. (423) 634-9191Verb10 p.m. market street Tavern, 850 market st., (423) 634-0260 marketstreet-tavern.comThe Micks9 p.m. sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad st. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.comJames McMurtry with Jonny Burke9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st.(423) 267-4644 rhythm-brews.comFried Chicken Trio10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 chestnut st. (423) 266-4240 tboneschat-tanooga.comBounty hunter10 p.m. Bud’s sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com

Sun 02.19Molly Maguires7 p.m. The honest

Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.comThe Black Swans, R. Ring Featuring Kelly Deal, Child Support8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400Michael McDade7 p.m. sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad st. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com

Tue 02.21Yellow Dubmarine10 p.m. Rhythm and Brews, 221 market st. rhythm-brews.com(423) 267-4644

Wed 02.22Troy Underwood7;30 p.m. sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad st. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Tim Lewis7 p.m. Bart’s lakeshore, 5840 lake Resort Ter. (423) 870-0777 bartslakeshore.comLong Gone Darlings with the Rough & Tumble9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st. (423) 267-4644 rhythm-brews.comJason and the Punknecks9 p.m. The honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.comBreaking Laces, Behold the Brave, Tristen, Stephannie Nilles9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send live music listings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected].

Greg TardyFRI 02.17 • Top sax joins Ben Friberg Trio.9:30 p.m. • market street Tavern • 850 market st.

Cloud NothingsThUR 02.16 • Hot lo-fi indie rock out of Cleveland. Catch them before the explode.9 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia • 231 e. mlK Blvd.

Thursday • February 16Cloud Nothings

Future Virgins • Elk MilkFriday • February 17Christabel and the JonsAshely Hicks and the X’s

StaggoleeSaturday • February 18

Tony Levi’s Wedding • Rough RopeLoss • Shadow of the Destroyer

Sunday • February 19R. Ring (featuring Kelly Deal of The Breeders)

Black Swans • Child SupportTuesday • February 21

Guilty Pleasures Dance PartyWednesday • February 22

Breaking Laces • Behold the BraveTristen • Stephannie Nilles

Facebook.com/theofficechatt

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!Stop by & check out our daily specials!

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm$1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts,

$2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

901 Carter St(Inside Days Inn)423-634-9191

Thursday, Feb. 16: 9pmOpen Mic

with Mark Holder

Friday, Feb. 17: 9pmMark Holder

Saturday, Feb. 18: 9pmDan Cowart

Tuesday, Feb. 21: 7pmServer Appreciation Night

$5 Pitchers ● $2 Wells$1.50 Domestics

Chattanooga Live


850 Market Street• 423.634.0260Facebook.com/marketstreettavern

Nightly SpecialsMon: 50¢ Wings • $3 Yazoo

Tues: $1 Tacos • 1/2 Price Margaritas

Wed: Wine Night + Live Jazz!

Thur: Burger & Beer Night

Sat: $2 Domestics Noon to Midnight

MusicWednesdaysLive Jazz with

The Ben Friberg TrioThursday • Feb. 16Songwriters Showcase

Jordan Hallquist with Special Guests

Friday • Feb. 17 • 9:30pmBen Friberg Trio

featuring Greg TardySaturday • Feb. 18 • 10pm

Verb

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

SPECIALSPRING WINE SECTIONCOMINGMARCH 22

THE PULSE • SPRING 2012

hearing poet robert pinsky speak last week in his soft, quiet voice at UTC, I was reminded that hushed sounds can have two effects on people: they ei-ther cause people to concentrate more, becoming attentive listeners, or they can lull

people into a restful state. For the snoring audience member who was roused to consciousness by a helpful fellow, it was definitely the latter.

The new instrumental album “Stunden,” by Hans-Joachim Roedelius and Stefan Schneider, was created with one spe-cific constraint: it should be quiet. Over the course of the al-bum, both of the aforementioned effects are coaxed by this approach, with placid, soothing tracks moving at a steady pace and more abstract numbers with tiny sonic elements lurking in the background.

Keyboardist Roedelius built his reputation as a founding member of the Krautrock-era Kosmische groups Cluster and Harmonia in the 1970s and as collaborator with Brian Eno. Stefan Schneider is known as a member of the electronic

German bands Kreidler and To Rococo Rot. “Stunden,” which means “hours” in German, has three title tracks that appropriately mark time in a studied, pensive manner, with repetition that suggests the hourly chimes of a clock tower. “Stunden I” uses additions such as low frequencies and soft buzzes to populate the empty spaces.

As the album unfurls, it gradually drifts away from the template that uses a pia-no melody accompanied by flourishes. “Liebe” (“love”) emanates artificial warmth with a cozy pulse, and the up-and-down synth patterns of “Zug” (“train”) evoke per-petual motion rather than some unstoppable machine. The album’s finest track is “Upper Slaughter,” with guitar accents and indescribable sonic fragments that are perhaps like a more organic kind of glitch-based electronica. “Stunden” is hardly revelatory but is subtle, tasteful and restrained; although largely free from foggy sound washes, it will likely appeal to fans of ambient music, falling under Brian Eno’s definition as being “as ignorable as it is interesting.”

Causing a Tiger • “how We held our Post” • (Twelve cups)singer and violinist carla kihlstedt is one of those fascinating, often genre-defying artists with an outpouring of creativity in numerous projects, the most famous of which is Sleepytime Gorilla Museum, known for its complex and dark art-rock and incredible, theatrical shows. Her trio, Causing a Tiger, featuring percussionist (and husband) Matthias Bossi and multi-instrumentalist Shahzad Ismaily, is another uncategorizable outfit, an unusual intersection between avant-post-rock and lounge/cabaret music, with glimpses of musique concrète and elec-tronic experimentation.

The group’s latest album, “How We Held Our Post” on Kihlstedt’s own label, is bookended by two enigmatic sound pieces, the first of which features the sound of high winds and foreboding, incessant squeaks. The closer is even more puzzling, fea-turing what sounds like someone running her hands through a box of marbles and broken shells and crinkling packing tape for 10 minutes. The meat of the album has two general methods: short, tight, twisty rock bursts and longer, wandering tracks.

Kihlstedt sings with a compelling, soulful voice and a style that’s not usually heard in the rock arena (Concrete Blonde vocalist Johnette Napolitano comes to mind). Kihlstedt’s singing sounds like it’s been run through a slightly distorted guitar am-plifier to dirty it up. The tracks “Not Ashamed to Ask” and “How to Stock and Main-tain a Marine Aquarium” sound like the result of Tortoise hiring a lounge singer, with the rhythm section sporting an expansive, ambling approach. The former track dives headfirst into weird territory by eventually altering Kihlstedt’s vocals dramati-cally, using extreme electronic manipulation to turn them into gurgles.

The quick hits are potent, unpredictable blasts of sharp, off-center rock, like “Sec-ond Sight,” a seemingly improvised mix of fuzz bass and driving beats, with Kihlst-edt singing incomprehensibly, bringing the proceedings to a satisfying apex. It is a strange, disorienting journey with a tightfisted sonic economy and a variety of ap-proaches while maintaining a distinct sonic identity.

Roedelius Schneider“stunden”(Bureau B)

Between the sleeves ERNIE PAIK

ThursdaysOpen Mic: Mark holder9 p.m. The office, 901 carter st. (423) 634-9191Songwriters Showcase: Jordan hallquist with Special Guests8 p.m. market street Tavern, 850 market st. (423) 634-0260, marketstreettavern.com

FridaysJohnny Cash Tribute Band5 p.m. chattanooga choo choo, 1400 market st. (423) 266-5000choochoo.comBen Friberg Trio6:30 p.m. Table 2, 232 e. 11th st. (423) 756-8253table2restaurant.comamilton.comSaturdaysJohnny Cash Tribute Band5 p.m. chattanooga choo choo, 1400 market st. (423) 266-5000choochoo.com

TuesdaysOpen Mic Night7 p.m. Vaudeville café, 138 market st. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com

WednesdaysBen Friberg Trio6:30 p.m. market street Tavern, 850 market st.(423) 634-0260 marketstreettavern.comOpen Mic Night7 p.m. acoustic café, 61 RBc Drive, Ringgold, ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.com

Regular GigsRelax. Pay Attention!

Jordan Hallquist hosts Songwriters Show-case on Thursdays at Market Street Tavern.

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send live music listings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected].


“I’ve noticed there are a lot of doers here,” she says. “There are people willing to take a step out and attempt to do what they’re talking about instead of just theorizing about how it might be if someone were to do that. I hate the word ‘someone.’ If you’re going to put it out there, that someone is either you or you need to find that someone.”

“People tend to tell me re-peatedly that I’m extremely high energy,” she adds. “I usu-ally lose 10 pounds the week

of festival because I never stop moving. Some people see that as kind of a crazy tornado com-ing their way, but I have been very embraced here at AVA.”

Linz is also impressed by Chattanooga’s art scene. Com-pared to Greenville, S.C., where she spent the last decade, she sees edgier art here.

“In Greenville there was sometimes pressure on art-ists and galleries to bring what patrons wanted,” she says. “I think Chattanooga is more about bringing what is going on and what is intriguing to the audience and letting audiences decide for themselves. I think you’d be hard pressed to find the range of art that’s here in many other places. You can find everything from very emerging artists to extremely high qual-

ity art. And it’s all accessible.”

Before coming to Chattanooga to lead 4 Bridges, Linz directed arts festi-vals in and around Greenville, worked with artists in gal-leries and consulted with arts nonprofits. She joins 4 Bridges as its notoriety is rising fast. Last year the festival shot from No. 97 to No. 62 in the top 100 art festivals in the country. This year it was singled out for praise in a recent New York Times story, ranking Chat-

tanooga one of the top 45 cities to visit in the world in 2012.

Linz is not making any ma-jor changes this year, but a few intentions are emerging. She says she loves the Emerg-ing Artist Scholarships that 4 Bridges grants to up to five less experienced artists and hopes to bring some of them back for a “where are they now?” gallery show.

She’s also working with the 4 Bridges jury to gradually in-clude more artists in the festi-val. This year the number will increase from 150 to 170. As the word gets out among artists and the applicant pool grows, she sees the total increasing to-ward 200. But only if the qual-ity stays high.

“We never want to pick quan-tity over quality, so we will slowly raise that number. And the jurors will always have the ability to stop at a lower num-ber.”

This year, 650 artists applied (a small increase over last year), and the blind jury process was extremely competitive.

“It speaks to the quality of the applicants that the jurors had to look very closely,” she says. “Every year we bring in new jurors. They don’t know these artists. The person who has been in 4 Bridges five or six years in a row might not get in.”

This year is also the first time 4 Bridges is not just a stand-alone event but also serves as the opening anchor for the 10-day HATCH Festival.

“The arts are always stronger when everyone is doing well and when everyone is helping each other,” she says. “It’s re-ally astounding that something of this magnitude has been pulled together so quickly with so much support. If 4 Bridges’ notoriety can help be the kick-off and be the launch to bring attention to some other things that’s really great. If you can keep people engaged for 10 days, think how much further that will go during the year,” she adds.

Linz also seems to have one eye firmly on the economic im-pact of 4 Bridges, while keep-ing a bigger picture in sight.

“More than $1.5 million will be coming into Chattanooga from 4 Bridges, and those 170 artists will have a job,” she says.

At the same time, however, Linz struggles with the idea that art needs to be justified.

“If we could dispel the mys-tery that you have to think a certain way or be a certain way to understand art or to enjoy it, then the necessity of art would be so blatant that you wouldn’t have to sit there and say ‘it brings in 1.5 million dollars,’ ” she says. “People would under-stand the importance as just a given. They would know it just like they know they have to go to school to get an education. To me it’s like eating, it’s life sustaining.”

Laura Linz: No Bridge Too FarArts

By Rich Bailey

when laura linz doesn’t like someone, she’s pretty vocal about it. The new director of the Association for Vi-sual Arts’ 4 Bridges Art Festival arrived in Chattanooga late last year, and she’s already formed a few impressions.

AVA’s new 4 Bridges director crosses new bridge with launch of HATCH.

Laura Linz photographed by Lesha Patterson at AVA’s offices on Frazier Avenue.


Arts

Long hours in rehearsal studios, drafty schoolrooms, someone’s living room (or ga-rage)—this is the unglamor-ous but real life of those seri-ous about their art. But Ann Law, dancer/choreographer and co-founder of Barking Legs Theater, wanted to cre-ate a sort of in-between ex-perience for both artists and audience. The idea was to take dances that were still in the process of being created, and “workshop” them in front of a live audience, who would then be invited to give their feedback.

The choreographers would benefit from honest com-ments that could then be used to continue to shape their pieces, and audience mem-bers would get a unique peek into the sometimes-mysteri-ous process of making art.

The result of this brain-storm was “Dances in Raw States,” which Law launched last year at Barking Legs along with a number of danc-ers she had been working with for some time as part of the Chattanooga Dance Project.

The series returns Thurs-day and Friday, Feb. 16-17, and Law has put quite a lot of thinking into how to improve the communication between the two entities, artist and au-dience.

From the beginning, she says, she was interested in “What makes good work? What makes good art? To help understand that, we came up with an evening that is a step

between the studio and the performance space.”

But last year’s “Raw States,” she notes, while fulfilling its goal of giving dances that are not quite ready for full-fledged performance a chance to work out, did not end up giving choreogra-phers enough useful informa-tion from the audience.

“I had wanted to keep it very open,” she says of the feedback process. “But the comments ended up being too vague. The audience was just sharing what they already felt. They weren’t stretching.”

To be helpful, the comments needed to go far beyond “I liked it,” she points out.

So this time around, she and the choreographers will

begin asking more specific questions about the work.

The ideal result, she ex-plains, would be twofold: Concrete help in identify-ing places in the dances that for whatever reason are not working, and, on the other side, helping to create an “ar-ticulate and sophisticated au-dience for new work.”

That audience still needs development in Chattanooga, Law says. Another program at Barking Legs, “Wide Open Floor,” is also designed to wid-en the range of performance in the city, and “allow per-formers who are not that vis-ible to become more visible,” she says.

Without this audience so-phistication, she agrees, the arts cannot grow to the next

level, because audiences aren’t familiar enough with the “languages” of the arts they’re viewing.

Law has said repeatedly that dance in the 21st century needs to stop relying on the techniques and visions of the past, and evolve into some-thing that reaches audiences with immediate messages about now.

Those who’d like to be a part of that evolution can get on board at Barking Legs this Thursday and Friday.

“Dances in Raw States”$5 • 7 p.m. Thursday & Friday, Feb. 16-17Barking legs Theater, 1307 Dodds ave.(423) 624-5847barkinglegs.org

Cracking Open DanceBy Janis hashe

performing artists often tell those thinking of pursuing music, dance or theatre: “You’d better enjoy the process, because process is 90 percent of what we do. Performance is 10 percent at most.”

Ann Law, co-founder of Barking Legs Theater, launched Dances in Raw States last year to “workshop” dances in progress in front of a live audience. This year, she’s seeking even more audience feedback.

Photo • Lesha Patterson


Thur 02.16“A Sense of Place” exhibition opening reception5:30 p.m. Jewish cultural center, 5461 n. Terrace Road (423) 493-0270jewishchatta-nooga.comBreak Out the Bubbly: Sparkling Wine Tasting6 p.m. Back Inn café, 412 e. 2nd st. (423) 265-5033bluffviewart-district.com“Dances In Raw States”7 p.m. Barking legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds ave. (423) 624-5347barkinglegs.orgLadysmith Black Mombazo7:30 p.m. uTc Fine arts center Roland hayes hall, 725 Vine st. (423) 425-4601utc.edu/music“Actors’ Anonymous”8 p.m. covenant college, 14049 scenic hwy. lookout mountain, ga. (888) 451-2683ballettennessee.orgPreservation hall Jazz Band8 p.m. covenant college, 14049 scenic hwy. lookout mountain, ga. (888) 451-2683ballettennessee.orgJanet Williams8 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com“Mystery at the TV Talk Show”7 p.m. Vaudeville café, 138 market st. (423) 517-1839funnydinner.com

Fri 02.17Con Noogachattanooga choo

choo, 1400 market st. connooga.com Chattanooga Symphony “Out and About”4 p.m. collegedale library, 9318 apison Pike, ooltewah(423) 396-9322chattanoogasym-phony.org“The Butler Did It ... Again”6:30 p.m. signal mountain Playhouse, 301 Rolling Way, signal mt. smph.orgSeniors of the Sahara7:30 p.m. The colonnade, 264 catoosa circle, Ringgold, ga.(706) 935-9000colonnadecenter.org.Sweetheart Dance6:30 p.m. chattanooga Zoo, 301 n. holtzclaw ave. (423) 697-1322chattzoo.org.com“Dances In Raw States”7 p.m. Barking legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds ave. (423) 624-5347barkinglegs.orgJanet Williams7:30 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com“Mystery of Flight 138”7 p.m. Vaudeville café, 138 market st. (423) 517-1839funnydinner.com“Seussical Jr.”7:30 p.m. chattanooga Theatre centre, 400 River st. (423) 267-8534theatrecentre.com“Actors’ Anonymous”8 p.m. covenant college, 14049 scenic hwy. lookout mountain, ga. (888) 451-2683ballettennessee.orgThe Black Jacket

Symphony8 p.m. Tivoli The-atre, 709 Broad st. (423) 757-5050chattanooga.govComedy: Davin Rosenblatt, Dave Stone9:30 p.m. Vaudeville café, 138 market st. (423) 517-1839funnydinner.com

Sat 02.18Con Noogachattanooga choo choo, 1400 market st. connooga.com Wine & Chocolate Open housenoon. georgia Winery, 6469 Battlefield Pkwy. (706) 937-WInegeorgiawines.com“Seussical Jr.”2:30 p.m. chattanooga Theatre centre, 400 River st. (423) 267-8534theatrecentre.comNew Voices Poetry Reading6 p.m. Pasha coffee house, 3914 st. elmo ave. (423) 475-5482pashacoffeehouse.com“Mystery of the Nightmare high School Reunion”6 p.m. Vaudeville café, 138 market st. (423) 517-1839funnydinner.comMardi Gras Chattanooganoon. coolidge Parkmardigraschat-tanooga.comUnCANventional Ball 20127 p.m. Warehouse Row 1110 market s. (423) 267-1111warehouserow.net.Chatti Gras7:30 p.m. chattanooga convention center, 1150 carter st. (423) 756-0001Janet Williams7:30 p.m. The

comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com“Actors’ Anonymous”8 p.m. covenant college, 14049 scenic hwy. lookout mountain, ga. (888) 451-2683ballettennessee.org“Smash & Grab”hunter Underground8 p.m. hunter museum of american art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944huntermuseum.orgJeanne Robertson8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad st. (423) 757-5050chattanooga.gov

Sun 02.19Con Noogachattanooga choo choo, 1400 market st. connooga.com Formal Affair Bridal Expo1 p.m. chattanooga convention center, 1150 carter st. (423) 756-0001Southern 6 Trail Race1 p.m. southern adventist university ackerman auditorium, 4881 Taylor cr. colleg-edale (423) 236-2000southern.eduMoccasin Bend Brewery Tour and Tasting2 p.m. moccasin Bend Brewing company, 4015 Tennessee ave. (423) 821-6392bendbrewingbeer.com“Seussical Jr.”2:30 p.m. chattanooga Theatre centre, 400 River st. (423) 267-8534theatrecentre.com“Behind the Pulpit”3 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad st. (423) 757-5050chattanooga.govJanet Williams

8 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com

Mon 02.20Bourbon on Chestnut Gala7 p.m. The Walden club, 633 chestnut st. (423) 756-6686waldenclub.orgEleemosynary7:30 p.m. lee university, 1120 n ocoee st., cleveland(423) 614-8000leeuniversity.eduClassical Monday’s & Southside Casual Classics7:30 p.m. The camp house, 1427 Williams st. (423) 702-8081

Tue 02.21Save Second Base Comedy Show6 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Road(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com“Chattanooga Chocolate Stories” from Storyteller Vincent Phipps6:30 p.m. The Public library, 1001 Broad st. (423) 757-5310lib.chattanooga.gov

Wed 02.22Main Street Farmers Market2 p.m. main st. mainstfarmers-market.comFolk School of Chattanooga Concert6:30 p.m. The camp house, 1427 Williams st. (423) 702-8081

Arts entertainment&

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected].

hunter Underground 2012• each year the hunter underground of-fers great food, drinks, entertainment, a silent art auction and the ever-popular “smash & grab” at the hunter museum.This year’s event takes place at 8 p.m. on saturday, Feb. 18. View works available in the silent auc-tion and “smash & grab” gallery.For a suggested donation, attendees can be entered in “smash & grab” drawings. If a player’s number is drawn, he or she will have 30 seconds to enter the “smash & grab” gallery and grab a work of art to take home. It’s a fun way for participants to add works to their personal collections. Players must be present to win. at-tendees must be at least 21 years old.Tickets are $40 per person (includes admission to the hunter underground party, food, beer and wine) or $60 per person (includes admission to the hunter underground party, food, beer, wine and one “smash & grab” ticket valued at $25)additional tickets available for purchase at the event.Visit huntermuseum.org for more information.

Northshore Community/Public Art project seeks applicants• Public art chattanooga and the northshore community Public art committee are seeking qualifications from artists or artist teams for the com-mission and installation of a permanent work of public art in the north shore. up to five finalists will be selected to develop concept proposals for this proj-ect. each will be paid a $500 proposal fee. The project budget for the selected commission is $30,000. The opportu-nity is open to all professional artists and artist teams over the age of 18 who currently reside in the united states. all applications must be received by mail, hand delivery or electronically by 4 p.m. on march 2. The application can be downloaded at publicartchat-tanooga.com/about/callstoartists.htm.

Arts notes


Black and white is now a gimmick used for important subjects, like the Holocaust or the fate of independent con-tractors on the Death Star. If black and white is reserved for certain subjects, imagine how a silent black and white film might be received.

“The Artist” is an achieve-ment in the adulation of film history, a decidedly deliberate break from the norm of film-making to glorify the glamour of pre-depression Hollywood and highlight the beauty of a different type of filmmaking. For a film like this to be suc-cessful, it has to be done ex-ceedingly well and be noticed by the right people. The Oscar nomination indicates success on both counts. It is a fun film to watch, if you are willing to make the effort to pay atten-tion.

This story is not unlike “Sin-

gin’ in the Rain.” Silent film star George Valentin (Jean Du-jardin) is on top of the world and at the height of his career. He is the consummate per-former who doesn’t subscribe to W.C. Fields’ philosophy of never working with animals, as his constant companion is a Jack Russell terrier with as much charm and class as any gentleman in the industry. Everything he touches turns to gold, much to the delight of studio boss Al Zimmer (John Goodman). He even is able to bestow fame upon the com-mon people, as an accidental encounter in front of press cameras leads to the slow rise of plucky young Peppy Miller (Bérénice Bejo) to a stardom that rivals his own.

Of course, “talkies” are just around the corner and Valentin is dismissive of the relevance of speaking actors in film. But

we know silent films have an expiration date and Valentin’s pride leads to his fall. The film is a romance, of course, so the fall is followed by redemption and happiness must be the end result.

Dujardin is rightfully nomi-nated for Best Actor, as silent film requires a powerful per-former to be convincing. But he is outshined by his co-star Bérénice Bejo, who is more delightful and beautiful than any woman has a right to be. She embodies the stars of the era, absolutely shining in every scene, to the point where al-most all of the other characters become vague gray shapes in the background. Fun surprises like John Goodman and James Cromwell are welcome, round-ing out the cast with colorful people and wonderful perfor-mances.

This is a film I want to see

at the Tivoli, with the score played live by the Chattanooga Symphony Orchestra. It should be an event, not a movie. I want to get dressed up to go the the-ater, sit with like-minded film enthusiasts, and feel like I’m part of a different crowd. What is so wonderful about this pic-ture is the way that within the first 15 minutes the novelty of silent film disappears, leaving the audience alone to watch a real story unfold on screen.

The real question, I suppose, is whether “The Artist” will sweep the Academy Awards

with multiple wins. It may, but if I am honest, some of the oth-er movies are better. “The Art-ist” is wonderful, but it’s lim-ited in its ability to affect audi-ences emotionally. The perfor-mances are great, but the story isn’t especially original—and it’s played for humor and light-hearted fun. I prefer “Midnight in Paris” for Best Picture, how-ever I admit my English degree might influence my opinion. I can say this with absolute cer-tainty, however: There aren’t many movies that couldn’t be dramatically improved by a rousing tap number.

Silent (Movie) Treatmenteveryone looks better in black and white. like cats landing on their feet or Republicans demanding tax cuts, the beauty of black and white film is a universal constant. I don’t know why it isn’t used more, other than the fact that audiences demand films in color. Or to be more specific, audiences demand films that are tinted slightly orange or blue, depending on the emotion the filmmakers feel like subtly eliciting from unwitting audi-ences. Black and white films are the past; audiences are interested in the current and fresh. It is unfortunate that the timelessness of old Hollywood is denied our present superstars. The war between black and white or color films was lost long ago in the battle of Oz, and while Technicolor still sparkles on the screen, most of today’s run-of-the mill Hollywood films look like television shows on a giant screen.

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When you travel around the country, or even just the rural areas around Chattanooga, it’s easy to think the tradition of the small country store is disappearing. While many small, family run markets and stores are dying in the shadows of the Bi-Marts and Mega-Los, the country store tradition is still alive, well and hiding in plain sight. Dozens of small, family-run ethnic markets around the city are carrying on the traditions we grew up with. Andy and Aunt Bee are there, too—they just may speak with a Polish or Arabic accent and offer you lamb and lavash instead of fried chicken and a biscuit.

International Market, for-merly known as Family Food Mart and located next to Tuesday Morning in Eastgate Town Center, is a great exam-ple of how the traditions of the American country store are not unique to reruns of “Pet-ticoat Junction,” but are found in almost every culture in the world.

International Market’s owner, Dana, seems to know everyone who comes in, and welcomes those she doesn’t with a big smile. I’ve been coming to this market for years, so she’s gotten to know what I like and will sometimes emerge from the back with a spoonful of something she says I “must try … you’ll love it.” And she is always right.

Recently she brought out homemade Polish borscht, which had a smoky, unctuous, sausage flavor that will make you cheat on poor Aunt Sally’s

soup with this deep-red East-ern European beauty.

The front of the store is a well-stocked international market with a focus on Mid-dle Eastern and Eastern Eu-ropean foods. I usually pick up some tahini, olives, dates, flatbreads, tea and Greek or Bulgarian feta cheese, but I always get some of the sau-sages and dried beef. (On

a side note: Never, ever eat one of those greasy tubes of questionable animal protein from Swiss Colony again. If the demo girl can talk you into parting with your hard-earned cash with a smile and a pole-shaped log of question-able animal protein, I sug-gest you stay far away from adult establishments where the girls, poles and smiles are demonstrating much more ex-pensive products.)

Make your way to the back of the market and you’ll find the archetype of the country store restaurant with a post-modern, multi-cultural twist. Wooden tables with brightly patterned tablecloths, a vase of flowers on each and a menu of homemade, inexpensive, Middle Eastern and Eastern European food served in fam-ily style portions.

Sometimes I just stop in for a shawarma, which is like a Middle Eastern burrito filled with your choice of chicken, beef, or lamb, onions and

spices. If I’m a bit hungrier I’ll sit down for a plate of hum-mus, baba ghanoush, mari-nated feta, lavash or whatever meat is being served that day. The last time I was there, Dana had made chicken mak-louba, a dish made with rice, chicken, eggplant and Middle Eastern spices teeming with flavors that are familiar but are paired together in ways we don’t normally encounter in the South.

Before you leave, check out the case of fresh-baked sweets like kataifi (shredded phylo, pistachio’s, sugar and orange blossom syrup) bak-lava and halva (think peanut butter fudge, but with sesame or pistachio’s instead of pea-nuts). Or sample a lahmajun, a Turkish pizza-type dish with meat or cheese. If you are a coffee drinker get a shot of Turkish coffee while you’re there. They keep some brewed in the back.

That’s the wonderful sur-prise of visiting a store like International Market. It’s fa-miliar in that it’s a friendly, down-to-earth store where you can hang out and linger over a plate of delicious food if you want. But it is also a treasure trove of ingredients and flavors that you would pay through the nose for at a chain store, if you could even find them.

I’m not sure if my dad would pick shawarma over Town House crackers, but I know whenever I’m in Brain-erd with my sons we always make a point to stop in, grab some comfort food and chat with Dana. The only things missing are the insults and the bait.

sushi Biscuits MIKE MCJUNKIN &

Mike McJunkin is a local chef and foodie. Contact him at [email protected].

at least a few times every summer my dad would convince me to take a break from the delinquent activities of my misspent youth to do a little fishing. Along the way we would inevitably end up stopping in some small country store to stock up on worms, Cokes and Town House peanut butter crackers. These stores usually had a little restaurant in the back where regulars would linger over plates of comfort food and bark friendly insults at each other while we laughed and paid for our day’s supplies.

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Free Will Astrology ROB BREzSNY

ARIES (march 21-april 19): What do you typically do just before you fall asleep and right after you wake up? Those rituals are important for your mental health. Without exaggeration, you could say they are sacred times when you’re poised in the threshold between the two great dimensions of your life. I’ll ask you to give special care and attention to those transitions in the coming week. as much as possible, avoid watching TV or surfing the Internet right up to the moment you turn off the light, and don’t leap out of bed the instant an alarm clock deto-nates. The astrological omens suggest you are primed to re-ceive special revelations, even ringing epiphanies, while in those in-between states.

TAURUS (april 20-may 20): have you ever gazed into the eyes of goats? If you have, you know that their pupils are rectangular when dilated. This quirk allows them to have a field of vision that extends as far as 340 degrees, as opposed to humans’ puny 160-210 de-grees. They can also see better at night than we can. goats are your power animal in the com-ing week, Taurus. metaphori-cally speaking, you will have an excellent chance to expand your breadth and depth of vi-sion. Do you have any blind spots that need to be illumi-nated? now’s the time to make that happen.

GEMINI (may 21-June 20): In the animated film “The lion King,” two of the central characters are a talking meer-kat named Timon and a talk-ing warthog named Pumbaa. Their actions are often heroic. They help the star of the tale, simba, rise to his rightful role as king. The human actors who provided the voices for Timon and Pumbaa, nathan lane and ernie sabella, originally audi-tioned for the lesser roles of hy-enas. They set their sights too low. Fortunately fate conspired to give them more than what they asked for. Don’t start out as they did, gemini. aim high right from the beginning—not for the bit part or the minor role but rather for the catalyst who actually gets things done.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “he who is outside his door already has a hard part of his journey behind him,” says a Dutch proverb. ancient Ro-man writer marcus Terentius Varro articulated a similar idea: “The longest part of the jour-ney is the passing of the gate.” I hope these serve as words of encouragement for you, cance-rian. You’ve got a quest ahead of you. at its best, it will involve freewheeling exploration and unpredictable discoveries. If you can get started in a timely manner, you’ll set an excellent tone for the adventures. Don’t procrastinate.

LEO (July 23-aug. 22): You’re so close to finding a fresh per-spective that would allow you to outmaneuver an old tor-ment, leo. You’re on the verge of breaking through a wall of illusion that has sealed you off from some very interesting truths. In the hope of providing you with the last little push that will take you the rest of the way, I offer two related insights from creativity specialist Roger von oech: 1. If you get too fixated on solving a certain problem, you may fail to notice a new op-portunity that arises outside the context of that problem. 2. If you intensify your focus by looking twice as hard at a situ-ation that’s right in front of you, you will be less likely to see a good idea that’s right behind you.

VIRGO (aug. 23-sept. 22): Thirty-two carrier pigeons were awarded medals by the united Kingdom for their meritorious service in the World Wars. of course, they probably would have preferred sunflower seeds and peanuts as their prize. let that lesson guide you as you bestow blessings on the people and animals that have done so much for you, Virgo. give them goodies they would actually love to receive, not meaning-less gold stars or abstract ac-colades. It’s time to honor and reward your supporters with practical actions that suit them well.

LIBRA (sept. 23-oct. 22): The caterpillar-to-butterfly transformation is such an iconic

symbol of metamorphosis that it has become a cliche. and yet I’d like to point out that when the graceful winged creature emerges from its chrysalis, it never grows any further. We hu-man beings, on the other hand, are asked to be in a lifelong state of metamorphosis, con-tinually adjusting and shifting to meet our changing circum-stances. I’ll go so far as to say that having a readiness to be in continual transformation is one of the most beautiful qualities a person can have. are you inter-ested in cultivating more of that capacity, libra? now would be an excellent time to do so. Re-member that line by Bob Dylan: “he who is not busy being born is busy dying.”

SCORPIO (oct. 23-nov. 21): This would be an excellent time to round up a slew of new role models. In my astrologi-cal opinion, you need to feel far more than your usual levels of admiration for exceptional hu-man beings. You’re in a phase when you could derive tremen-dous inspiration by closely ob-serving masters and virtuosos and pros who are doing what you would like to do. For that matter, your mental and spiri-tual health would be profoundly enhanced by studying anyone who has found what he or she was born to do and is doing it with liberated flair.

SAGITTARIUS (nov. 22-Dec. 21): WD-40 is a spray product that prevents corro-sion, loosens stuck hinges, removes hard-to-get-at dirt, and has several other uses. Its inventor, norm larsen, tried 39 different formulas before finding the precisely right combination of ingredients on his fortieth attempt. The way I understand your life right now, sagittarius, is that you are like larsen when he was working with version number 37. You’re getting closer to creating a vi-able method for achieving your next success. That’s why I urge you to be patient and deter-mined as you continue to tinker and experiment. Don’t keep trying the same formula that didn’t quite work before. open your mind to the possibility that you have not yet discovered at

least one of the integral compo-nents.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): a person who emits a huge angry shout produces just .001 watt of energy. even if he or she yelled continuously 24/7, it would still take a year and nine months to produce enough energy to heat a cup of coffee. That’s one way to metaphori-cally illustrate my bigger point, which is that making a dramatic show of emotional agitation may feel powerful but is of-ten a sign of weakness. Please take this to heart in the com-ing week, capricorn. If you do fall prey to a frothy eruption of tumultuous feelings, use all of your considerable willpower to maintain your poise. Better yet, abort the tumult before it deto-nates. This is one time when repressing negative feelings will be healthy, wealthy, and wise.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Jeep vehicles always fea-ture seven slots on their front grills. Why? For the manufac-turer, it’s a symbolic statement proclaiming the fact that Jeep was the first vehicle driven on all seven continents. let’s take that as your cue, aquarius. Your assignment is to pick an accom-plishment you’re really proud of and turn it into an emblem, im-age, glyph, or talisman that you can wear or express. If noth-ing else, draw it on dusty car windows, write it on bathroom walls, or add it to a Facebook status update. The key thing is that you use a public forum to celebrate yourself for a sig-nificant success, even if it’s in a modest or mysterious way.

PISCES (Feb. 19-march 20): a sign outside the apostolic Bible church in Bathurst, new Brunswick invited worshipers to meditate on a conundrum: “Why didn’t noah swat those two mosquitoes?” after all, if the builder of the ark had re-fused to help the pesky insects survive the flood, we’d be free of their torment today. (or so the allegorical argument goes.) Please apply this lesson to a situation in your own sphere, Pisces. as you journey to your new world, leave the vexatious elements behind.

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Jonesin’ Crossword

ACROSS1. Taco Bell entree8. ewe-nique noise?11. orch. section14. auto shop cloth15. Fond du ___ (city in 25-down)16. Tea, in French17. The Pequod, for one19. hoover opponent’s monogram20. Put on a ship21. “see ya,” in sorrento22. “scarborough Fair” herb24. Pen25. Phrase heard close to dinnertime27. life’s work?28. major london insurer29. globe trekker’s book32. “snug as ___...”34. “The cask of amontillado” author36. motto for the four long across answers40. lucy of “charlie’s angels”41. ultrafast usain42. unable to sit still43. shredding tool46. org. central to a 1999 seattle protest

47. It can follow “Party people in the house!”50. mad scientist’s haunt53. one way to be taken54. lecherous look55. marquis de ___56. understood57. grape that makes a golden-hued dessert wine60. It may be more than enough61. Dance co. once directed by Baryshnikov62. Fluffy cleaning tools63. The legend of Zelda console, for short64. Boxer Jones, Jr.65. Bobby Fischer opponent Boris ___

DOWN1. monastery cover-ups2. Drum kit component3. “You’re once, twice, three times ___”4. lovett with a “large Band”5. mentalist geller6. mexican revolutionary ___ Villa

7. Texas a&m student8. urge to kill9. small battery size10. When Jud dies in “oklahoma!”11. Decided not to move12. secretive organization13. stopwatch button18. cessation23. “___! Wait! I got a new complaint...” (nirvana lyric)25. madison’s st.26. olympian Korbut27. corked item, perhaps29. Tool used for hand-punching belt loops30. longest of its kind in the human body31. nobel Prize winners32. absence of guiding principles33. ___ Paese (cheese)35. Ice cream maker Joseph

37. Follow instructions38. “Round and Round” hair metal band39. lennon’s “bed-in” mate44. storyline shape45. sci-fi series written by William shatner46. get ready for exercise47. Toy with a long handle48. Disappoint, with “down”49. english university city50. They can get tangled up51. “It was ___ and stormy night...”52. heavenly woman?55. Very fast flyers, for short58. “Boardwalk empire” network59. olympics chant

MATT JONES

Jonesin’ Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For an-swers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0559.

“So They Say...”—it goes something like this.


Even though Erlanger says the problem lies in finding a replacement for a departed burn unit director and the clos-ing was not related to financial losses, some are speculating (and rightly so) that many who sought treatment there in the past may have been up to no good at the time of their inju-ries—and more importantly, had no insurance.

Yes my friends, I’m talking about those who were the vic-tims of meth lab explosions. You see, when something goes wrong in the kitchen where meth is being cooked, it burns the shit out of whoever is within range of the two-liter bottle’s spray. And when those nuts go to the hospital to try and save their sorry asses—and sadly the children and other innocent vic-tims around them—they bring to the burn unit the same con-taminants that go into the pro-duction of this dreadful drug.

A meth lab explosion also has

the power to render the space where the lab was located use-less to any other inhabitants until the structure is stripped down to the studs by toxic waste specialists and rebuilt. Even then, I wouldn’t be the first one to lay my head down in a place where, or near, such activities have occurred.

Therefore I am proposing that those who are caught and found guilty of producing meth, purchasing the combination of necessary ingredients to do so, or even using meth should have to register as a meth offender upon their release. And maybe, just maybe we could identify them prior to legal action.

Here are some of my pro-posed criteria for preemptive identification of potential meth offenders, Jeff Foxworthy-style:

• If you’ve ever bought enough Sudafed to keep a small army congestion-free—you might be a meth offender.

• If your trailer doesn’t have wheels because you sold them to buy fertilizer—you might be a meth offender.

• If you live in a motel room with a distinctive funny smell—you might be a meth offender.

• If you’ve ever had a two-liter bottle explode without combin-ing Diet Coke and Mentos—you might be a meth offender.

• If you have persistent “sun-burn” that won’t heal—you might be a meth offender.

• If you can count your teeth on one hand—you might be a meth offender. And the list goes on.

Once identified, the fact that you are a card-carrying meth of-fender might limit your options in the future. Think about it. If one is convicted of a sex crime, they must register as a sex of-fender and tell whoever lives or works anywhere around them that they’ve had the fortitude in the past, and might again in the future, to do something inap-propriate with their privates.

It’s the proverbial scarlet “A,” or “S.O.” in this case, and it’s

meant to not only protect those they come into contact with, but also deter anyone who might be sick enough to think about vio-lating someone in a sexual man-ner. In addition to the shame factor, think about living in our society with a scar on your re-cord that makes it difficult to find friends, employment, hous-ing and effective cold medicine?

I know, I know. If we limit the options a convicted meth head has for getting out of that rut then they’ll just go back to doing the only thing they know best—makin’ meth. But if mak-ing and selling meth is so easy and profitable, are these people really just doing it until that killer job at Komatsu opens up? No, they’ve made a conscious decision to buck society, take the easy way out and endanger everyone in their path.

I realize this proposition might have me looking over my shoulder for the next week or so until the next Pulse is pub-lished, but I’m pretty sick and tired of footing the bill for those who make stupid, dangerous decisions that in turn affect our society and, quite frankly, per-petuate our reputation in other parts of the world as shoeless hillbillies. It’s time for a change people—and I’ll vote for who-ever is willing to take on this matter (except for Chuck Fleis-chmann—sorry, dude).

You Might Be A Meth Offender If ...the recent closing of erlanger’s burn unit has some worried about the fate of victims with burns covering more than 20 percent of their bodies, who would now be shuttled to Nashville or Augusta for treatment. One broth-erhood that’s been very vocal about the news are local fire-fighters, who deal with the prospect of getting burned with every call of the alarm (except for routine trips to Patten Towers, of course).

Life in the noog ChUCK CROWDER

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you read with a grain of salt, but let it pepper your thoughts.

“If making and selling meth is so easy and profitable, are these people really just doing it until that killer job at Komatsu opens up? No, they’ve made a conscious decision to buck society, take the easy way out and endanger everyone in their path.


By Brook Evans

people never get over the south. visitors to this mystical gathering of states come and go and some of them stay. Some people from other lands endure us. Others exploit us. Still others enjoy us.

What brings so many people here to this vast warm wonderland? Some may want to escape brutal winters or expensive economies. Some stop here just to find work. Many create families and get distinctive in-laws at the same time. Folks ar-rive in the South for many reasons. When they get here, are they are expecting our matchless splen-dor?

Can anyone anticipate our four seasons with long, hot summers; blazing, brilliant autumns; chilly, cozy winters and dogwood springs scented with fresh-mown grass and deep red roses cascad-ing down the fences?

Have they ever visited Alabama with its sweet lyrical name, the heart of Dixie where stars fell down to kiss the ground? To this day, I remember our big old farm house in Deatsville with the huge oak tree (really) out front, the one where Dad hung a thick rope and attached a tire so we could swing. I swung in that swing and kicked the dirt with my foot just like Scout in “To Kill a Mockingbird.” Sometimes I’d push my little brother David in the swing when he was four years old.

He followed along while we threw rocks down from the hayloft or went out in winter to watch va-por rise from cow patties. One time a bull chased my brothers and David cut his leg on barbed wire trying to get away. During the school year we waited at the bottom of the red dirt driveway for the bus. In hot weather, my brothers didn’t wear shoes. Once, our black-and-white English setter, Duchess, chased the bus like a scene from a Dis-ney movie. We went to school where they served chocolate milk or orangeade in little waxy cartons and angelic rolls made of light.

We didn’t live out in the country that long. Mostly we lived in cities, but always in the South, where we grilled out; caught honeybees and light-ning bugs in jars; played hide and seek; threw dirt clods; ate fried fish and fowl; played beauty queen; watched football and baseball; joined the Girl

Scouts and the Boy Scouts and, naturally, went to church—including Vacation Bible School with Popsicle-stick crafts, Kool-Aid and sugar cookies. Along with air conditioning.

Our mother and grandmothers made biscuits and cornbread and crispy fried chicken and pork chops. I can make pretty good cornbread and pork chops, but not the same golden-brown chicken or biscuits. I don’t have the touch.

People in the South play outside a lot and do things some folks have never heard about—like noodling, which is wading around in muddy water and catching huge catfish with your bare hands. And I don’t know if deer hunters everywhere else rub blood on their faces when they kill their first deer, but some hunters in the South do just that. They will also cut your shirttail off the first time you miss a sure shot.

Southern ladies and gentlemen will just about kill you for their families and friends, but they’ll also choke up or cry over a graduation ceremony or Old Glory; a war veteran or a nervous child at a piano recital; a horse breaking free or maybe a magnificent tree cut down before its time.

Southerners sometimes feel one with nature and maybe with God. We fish and bicycle and run barefoot on beaches and ride inner tubes down whitewater rapids. We dress up for church and proms and dress down for chili suppers and pancake breakfasts. We ride motorcycles and play

golf nearly year-round. We like coffee and sweet tea and bacon and butter. We probably live better and die sooner than just about anybody, but who knows for sure.

Generally speaking, a true Southerner will try to make your acquaintance. I saw a woman the other day passing through here from Michigan. I asked her how she liked the South. She said, “You are good at being fake nice.”

“Fake nice is better than real mean,” I answered. She didn’t know what to say and left for the ladies room in a few minutes.

The South can leave you speechless. The South cannot be explained. It can only be fully enjoyed or marveled about or maybe even hated. The South embeds itself in your heart.

Wherever you go, even if it’s all the way across oceans and years, you will always feel the magnetic pull of a swaying willow tree; the melodious sound of a clear stream over flat rocks; the shiver of wa-ter so cold it chills watermelons; the reflection of a silvery pond where you saw one elegant black swan gliding past; the trashy, colorful flash of a beach city; the Spanish moss hanging solemnly from a Savannah tree; the smoky or tangy taste of slow-cooked barbecue; the perfect brown and white rows of cotton bolls; the greenish-blue shimmer of giant lakes and nearly always, the trusting hello, the firm handshake or the gentle hug of a stranger trying to be your friend in less than a minute.

Minutes pile up. For many minutes, some of my Northern and Western strangers and friends share the almost unspeakable passion of this exciting, inviting, almost-holy land where God lingered a little longer.

There’s something special and different about the South called the Spirit of the South.

The South’s fragile force invites you; betrays you; puzzles you; repels you and enthralls you. Some-times she disappoints you or loves you to death. But she won’t often let you forget. The South will stay in your mind like a shadow behind a door, or like the grace of a breeze at the very edge of a sum-mer night.

Brook Evans is a writer living in Cleveland, Tenn. Visit her website at whitehothair.com.

Resplendent: A Southerner’s ReposeA WRITER’S JOURNAL

“1,000 Words: A Writer’s Journal” is an occasional feature showcasing essays, stories and anecdotes about Chattanooga, the South and our world. To be considered for publication, submit 1,000 words or less to [email protected]. Use “1,000 Words Submission” as the subject of your email.

The South can leave you speechless. The South cannot be explained. It can only be fully enjoyed or marveled about or maybe even hated. The South embeds itself in your heart.

1,000 Words

The Pulse 9.07 » Feb. 16-22, 2012

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Transcript of The Pulse 9.07 » Feb. 16-22, 2012