The Proposal osgood

The Proposal Review By Lakyn Osgood

The Proposal

• The Proposal is about a boss woman and her male employee pretending to be engaged so she can stay in America.

• She forces him to comply with her plan because she needs to stay and he needs to keep her job.

• The main characters names are Margaret and Andrew.

..The Proposal continued..

• Some other minor characters are gammie (Andrews Grandmother), Andrew’s Mother, and Andrew’s father

• Some of the concepts that will be mentioned are power, non-‐verbal communication, self-‐disclosure, relationship life cycles, effective and ineffective conversations, empathy, dealing with conflict, and types of couples

Interpersonal Concept #1

• While watching The Proposal there were many examples of good and bad interpersonal concepts. One of the first was the different sources of power

• Margaret used the reward power concept that was mentioned in chapter 11

• The definition is “the potential to influence rooted in our ability to provide something our partner values and cannot easily get from someone else”

..Concept #1 continued..

• The way this concept was made apparent in the movie was Margret needed to renew her visa so she needed to get married. She told Andrew that he was going to marry her or she would fire him. He really enjoyed his job and needed it so he went along with the reward even if it was abusing her power which is not a good use of relationship power.


• The next concept would be that Margret and Andrew didn’t know each other well enough at first to pick up on non-‐verbal messages but that did change once they got to know each other.

• An example from the movie was when Andrew was trying to tell her they needed to kiss with out making it obvious to his family she needed to be prompted to know this would happen. She didn’t pick up on her non-‐verbal cues.

.. Concept #2 continued..

• An example when they picked up on the non-‐verbal cues was at the end of the movie when you could tell that Margret was very upset and was about to tell the truth about their proposal being a lie Andrew jumped in and said it was not a lie and that they were going to get married the next day.

• They were both failing to pick up on facial expressions and presenting an image

• When they did communicate through non-‐verbal communication successfully they were picking up on the nonverbal behavior, and expressing emotions


• Concept of self-‐disclosure was expressed many times in the movie.

• Self-‐disclosure is described as verbally sharing personal, private info, and feelings.

• Andrew being Margret’s assistant knows almost everything about Margret but Margret doesn’t know anything about Andrew.

Concept #3 continued

• There is one scene where Andrew is sleeping on the floor and Margret is sleeping in the bed and they finally tell each other personal information and they both get a little teary eyed

• They went along with guidelines for self-‐disclosure as well which were listed as: 1. self-‐disclose the kind of info that you want others to disclose to you 2. self-‐disclose info appropriate for the type of relationship you have


• 3. Self-‐disclose more intimate info only when you believe the disclosure responses an acceptable risk 4.Be sensitive to your partner’s ability to absorb your disclosure 5. Reserve intimate or very personal self-‐disclosure for ongoing relationships 6. Continue intimate self-‐disclosure only when it is reciprocated


• Another concept was the life cycle of relationships -‐Andrew and Margret started the relationship in stage one: beginning relationships and they were following the predicted outcome value theory which basically means they could tell from their conversations that the future benefits from the experiences they were having would be worth it.


• Stage two: Developing relationships – Andrew and Margret were using the interpersonal needs theory which states, “the premise that all of us have inclusion, affection, and control needs that we try to meet through our relationships, although our need for each of these varies in degree from person to person. Through awkward kisses, hugs and conversations they realized their love for each other was real and they knew their interpersonal needs would be met

Concept #4 continued..

• Stage Three: Sustaining relationships -‐In this stage they mention predictability and relational dialects. -‐ Relational dialects are defined as the conflicting pulls that exist in relationships as well as within each individual in a relationship -‐-‐ This happened in the movie when Margret was realizing because she really did love Andrew she couldn’t keep lying to the family


• -‐Predictability is defined as the desire for consistency, reliability, and dependability in your partner’s behavior or in you relationship. Margret and Andrew did not have much of a relationship at first but they realized through out the movie that they could always rely on each other especially since Andrew had been around Margret for 3 years already and continued to keep saving her from her problems

Concept #4 continued…

• Stage Four: Relationship Decline This did not happen for Margret and Andrew because their relationship just kept evolving until they really got married at the end and would continue life together married


• There were different types of listening styles in the movie Andrew had a more people oriented listening style (the personal listening style that prefers to focus on what a message tells us about our conversational partners and their feelings) where as Margret had a more content oriented listening style (the personal listening style that prefers to focus on the facts and evidence in a message)

…concept #5 continued..

• Andrew shows his people oriented listening style when he realizes Margret is upset when she talks about her parents being dead and why she got the tattoo that she did

• Margret shows her content oriented listening style when she agrees to what Andrew is asking for a promotion for doing the deal, she is more interested in the facts that she can’t continue her job with out him rather than what they really are going to be doing to his family


• A concept that Margret was shown to need improvement on was using the Guidelines to Improve Responding

• 1. Provide back-‐ channel cues, back channel cues, verbal and nonverbal signals that indicate you are listening and attempting to understand the message

• 2. Reply only when the message is complete (This was the part she needed to work on most)

..Concept #6 continued..

• 3. Respond to the previous message before changing the subject

• An example of when she needed to work on number 2 was when Andrew was talking about the past three days they had had together and she kept interrupting him and he had to tell her to shut up


• Andrew and Margret definitely had effective conversations

• They participated in turn talking-‐ alternating between speaking and listening in an event

• There is one scene where this does not happen because Margret is more on a rant about how awful she feels for lying to his family

• Andrew then does take his turn talking after her rant and they have an effective conversation on how everything is going to be okay


• Another way they have effective conversations is they have conversational coherence – the extent to which the comments made by one person relate to those made previously by others in a conversation

• There was never a point in the movie where one person said something totally unrelated when they were having a serious conversation


• Having empathy was the next concept introduced in this movie

• While Andrew was pouring his heart out to Margret in front of everyone they both worked with she was showing empathic responsiveness (empathizing by personally experiencing an emotional response parallel to another person’s actual or anticipated display of emotion)


• This entire movie was based off of Interpersonal conflict (disagreement between two interdependent people who perceive that they have incompatible goals)

• Andrew wanted to be promoted to editor, not assistant editor, Margret did not want that at all

• Margret wanted Andrew to be her fake husband and Andrew clearly did not want that but when through with it because he needed his job and to further his career


• They did not do well with managing this conflict at first because they used the forcing method – resolving a conflict by satisfying one’s own needs of advancing one’s own ideas with no concern for the needs or idea’s of the other person or for the relationship (Margret forcing Andrew to be her fiancé)

• After the movie continued there was part of the collaborative conflict conversation being had with Margret and Andrew which was Recognize and state ownership of the conflict. This happened when they were at the alter and Margret admitted to forcing him to marry her.


• In Chapter 13 they mentioned different couple types.

• While Margret and Andrew started their relationship on very strange terms after they decided to stay together one could assume they would be an Independent couple type (couples who share an independent or unorthodox ideology, are interdependent, and engage in conflict)


• There is no doubt there will be conflict between the two of them in the future because they are both very independent people and like to be right. I believe they will have a lot of conflict but do believe they will be able to get through it effectively.

Evaluation

• There are many aspects in this movie that relate to my interpersonal styles

• I am a very empathetic person so when Margret had such an emotional response to Andrew pouring his heart out I would have had the same response

• Another point that is similar to the movie is my listening style, I have more of a people oriented listening style like Andrew does

Evaluation

• If I was in a similar relationship I think I would do well because I am a lot like Andrew and my boyfriend is a lot like Margret, our relationship works well because we are really so different when it comes to communicating and it works out well for us, we are rubbing off on each other and starting to get to the same point when it comes to communicating.

Evaluation

• I do think this relationship is a realistic example of interpersonal communication because they have conflict and they figure out how to manage it, they have effective conversations, and have great listening styles. They are very different people but still have a great relationship

The Proposal osgood

Education

Transcript of The Proposal osgood