The Positives behind Negative Attention handout...
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The Positives Behind Negative Attention
Minimizing Power Struggles, Maximizing Potential
Jamie Remsberg, Co-Founding Owner
• Discovered bt Taibi Kahler, Ph.D. in 1972• The process of communication is observable,
sequential, and measurable.• Productive communication and unproductive
miscommunication can be distinguished, second by second, by observing words, tones, postures, gestures, and facial expressions.
• Communication is the key to connection, motivation, and respect.
The Process Communication Model®
When humans don’t get their core psychological needs met positively, they will attempt to get those very same needs met negatively, with or without awareness.
Distress behavior is observable, predictable, habitual, and sequential
Identifying and offering the unmet need is the
most effective strategy to stop the negative behavior
and invite more positive contribution.
The Positives Behind Negative AttentionKahler’s Discovery
Most unproductive behavior is a symptom of miscommunication and
unmet psychological needs.
Over controlling
“Great job on that project.”“I appreciate your hard work.”“Your plan helped us gain efficiencies.”“Great idea.”Your time is important.”Be on time. End on time.
positive interventionRecognition of Work & Time Structure
Micromanages others, critical of their thinking and work, obsessive around issues of fairness, order, time & money
LogicalResponsibleOrganized
Posi
tive
Gift
s!
Pushes Beliefs
“Your opinion matters.”“I respect your conviction.”“You role model company values.”“I know you will follow through on your promises.”“You are so dedicated.”
positive intervention Recognition of Work & Conviction
Crusades around own beliefs, black & white thinking, suspicious of others who don’t share beliefs
ConscientiousDedicatedObservant
Posi
tive
Gift
s!
Makes Mistakes
“You are a special part of this team.”“We care about you.”“Your feelings matter.”“You look nice today.”“I baked you cookies for your birthday.”
positive interventionRecognition of Person & Sensory
Loses confidence, makes silly
mistakes, invites criticism, puts self
down
CompassionateSensitiveWarm
Posi
tive
Gift
s!
Blaming
“Hey man, this is gonna be fun!”“I know it sucks, and the deadline is still Friday!”“How about some hoops over lunch before we get back to work?”“Hey lets walk and talk for our meeting!”
positive intervention Contact (upbeat & lively)
Blames others, avoids responsibility,
acts blameless, whines and complains
SpontaneousCreativePlayful
Posi
tive
Gift
s!
Withdrawal
“Make a list of priorities, and do the first one today.”“Organize your inbox and report back at lunch.”“Take time to yourself over lunch.”“Check in with me every Tuesday.”
positive intervention Solitude (with direction)
Isolates, starts projects but doesn’t finish them, doesn’t
ask for direction, avoids people
ReflectiveImaginativeCalm
Posi
tive
Gift
s!
Manipulating
“Bet you can’t get that project done before Thursday.”
“Make sure everyone is on board and you can take the afternoon off.”
“I’ve got a special project for you.”“Make me a deal.”
positive intervention Incidence
Manipulates others, breaks or re-defines rules, starts negative
drama, sets up unhealthy
competition
AdaptableCharmingPersuasive
Posi
tive
Gift
s!
Thank you!
Jamie Remsberg Co-Founding Owner 316-283-4200 [email protected] Twitter: @nextremsberg Facebook: @NextElement Linkedin: jamieremsberg