The Portal of Dreams

7/29/2019 The Portal of Dreams

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ThePortalofDreams,byCharlesNevilleBuck


TheProjectGutenbergEBookofThePortalofDreams,byCharlesNevilleBuckThiseBookisfortheuseofanyoneanywhereatnocostandwithalmostnorestrictionswhatsoever.Youmaycopyit,giveitawayorre-useitunderthetermsoftheProjectGutenbergLicenseincludedwiththiseBookoronlineatwww.gutenberg.org

Title:ThePortalofDreamsAuthor:CharlesNevilleBuckIllustrator:FrankSnappReleaseDate:April9,2010[EBook#31927]Language:English


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Charactersetencoding:ISO-8859-1***STARTOFTHISPROJECTGUTENBERGEBOOKTHEPORTALOFDREAMS***

ProducedbyBarbaraTozier,BillTozier,MaryMeehanandtheOnlineDistributedProofreadingTeamathttp://www.pgdp.net

ThePORTALOFDREAMSbyCHARLESNEVILLEBUCKAuthorof"THEKEYTOYESTERDAY""THELIGHTEDMATCH"etc.IllustratedbyFRANKSNAPPNEWYORKW.J.WATT&COMPANYPUBLISHERSCopyright,1912

PublishedSeptember

[Illustration:"Sitdown!"hethundered.]

CONTENTS

I.AVISIONUPONAWARNINGII.PURSUINGAWILL-O'-THE-WISPIII.IEMBARKONAFOOL'SERRANDIV.SOMEPASSAGESFROMADIARYV.PREMONITIONSBECOMEREALITIESVI.THEENDOFTHE"WASTREL"VII.INSTRANGECIRCUMSTANCESVIII.NATUREINDULGESINSATIREIX.APORTRAITANDATEMPLEX.ISEEKORCHIDSXI.IFINDMYSELFADEMI-GODXII.PORTANDSTARBOARDLIGHTSXIII.ENTERTHEINFANTRYMAN

XIV.THE"ASH-TRASHLADY"


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XV.TWODISCOVERIESXVI.ANINTERVIEWANDACRISISXVII.WEGOTOTHEMOUNTAINSXVIII.ACHATWITHADICTATORXIX.AVOLLEYFROMTHELAURELXX.ACAVALCADEFROMTHELAURELXXI.IGOWALKINGANDMEETENEMIESXXII.IFAILTORETURNHOMEXXIII.THEOFFEROFPAROLEXXIV.MYDAYINCOURTXXV.BEINGLAUGHEDATListofIllustrations"Sitdown!"hethundered.Ayoungwomanwassittingbeforeacounter,withherbacktothestreet,tryingongloves."Frances!Frances!Frances!"Ideclaimedwiththedeepprofundityofaritual."Youareagreattraveler,aren'tyou,Mr.Deprayne?"shesuggestedwhenthesilencehadbeguntobe

oppressive.

THEPORTALOFDREAMS


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CHAPTERI

CHAPTERI

AVISIONUPONAWARNING

ThedoctorwassosmallandfrailthathisnarrowfacewasrescuedfrominconsequenceonlybyatrimlycroppedVan-Dyckwithadignifiedsprinklingofgray.Ialwaysfeltthat,shouldIeverseehiminabathingsuit,Iwouldhavetoseekanewphysician.Icouldneveragainthinkofhimassufficientlygrown-uptopractiseanadultvocation.Yetwhenthedoctorspokehismentalityissuedoutofitssmallhabitationoffleshandexpandedtocommandingproportion.

Thelittledoctorwasinfineaverygreatdoctor,andonthisoccasionhewasbullyingmewiththelargeauthorityofaBonaparte.

"But,Doctor--"Ibeganprotestingly.

Heraisedasmallhandwhichsuggestedtheclawofadelicatebirdandfixedme

withquizzicaleyesthathadthefacultyofbitingsharplythroughaman'sunspokenthoughts.

"Don'tassumetosay'but'tome,"hesternlyenjoined;andsincewehadlongknowneachother,notonlyasphysicianandpatient,butalsoasmenwhobreakfastedatthesamehourandthesameclubtable,Imomentarilyheeded.

"Onceuponatime,"hecontinued,"theGermanKaiserpresumedtoquestionapilotonhisimperialyacht.Doyourecalltheresult?"

"No,"saidI,"Idon't,but----"

Againthedoctoreyedme,basiliskfashion,acrossthebaconandeggsofourbelatedmorningmeal,ashecontinued:

"HeveryproperlyremindedtheEmperorthatuponavesselinthehighseas,apilotacknowledgesnosuperiorthissideofEternity.InmattersofhealthItakethebridge.Youobey."

"But--"Iweaklyinsisted.

"Youpresumetothinkbecauseyouhouseyournervesinawell-muscledbodythat

theyareinfallible,"heimplacablycontinued."I'veseenrottenmotorsinexcellentgarages.I'veseenunhappywivesimmuredinpalaces,andI'veseenfinerfiguresofmenthanyouinlunaticasylums."

"Mynervesaresimplyofthehigh-strungtype,"Iargued.

"Thosearethekindthatsnap,"retortedthesage."Ifyouwerearacehorse,itmightbeamatterofreasonablepridetoyoutobebredinthepurple.Beingamanwithnoavocationexceptthe


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spendingofunearnedmoney,itmeansthatyouareperilouslyover-sensitized."

"Whatunpleasantpedantryareyouleadingupto?"Idemanded."Outwithit."

"Imeanto.Youhavetheartistictemperamentwhich,withoutgenius,isworsethanuseless.Youchoosetoregardyourselfafailureandgrowmorosebecauseyouhavefoundthelawuncongenialandbecauseeditorsearntheirsalariesbyreturningyourmanuscripts.Thedurabilityofyournervoussystemdependsentirelyonhowyouutilizethenextfiveyears."


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CHAPTERI

"Goon,"Iencouragedhim,"don'tmindme.Sentencemetodeathifitamusesyou."

"Itwon'tbedeath,butunlessyoufortifythosenerves,"hecalmlywenton,"thereprobablywillbedisaster.Itmaytakeanyoneofseveralforms."

"As,forinstance?"Iinquired,withpardonablecuriosity.

"Oh,arterio-sclerosis,paralysis,insanity,somethingofthatsort."

"Thankyoukindly,"Imurmured,asIreachedforthematches."CanIhavemychoiceofthelot?"

"However,"wentonthebiglittledoctor,"ifyoudevotethenextfewyearstoaprogramofdiversifiedtravel,yououghttolayupanaccountofnerve-strengthuponwhichyoucandrawadlib.forfortyorfiftyyearstocome.Youshouldevenhaveasurplusagainsttheunfortunateexigencyoflivingonwhenyouareoldanduseless."

"ButIhavetraveled,"Iargued."I'vebeento----"

Heinterruptedmewithasnort,andsweptmydeclarationsaside,unfinished.

"Youhavedabbledattravel,likeaschool-girlnibblesatchocolates.Getoutonthehikeandstayoutforayearortwo.Buildintoyourartificialselfsomethingoftheout-dooranimal.Youhaveafairstart--youwereonceanathlete."Herosetogodowntohismotor,andIshoutedafterhimcontemptuousandprofanecriticism.NeverthelesswithintheweekIbookedpassagefortheMediterranean.

IfoundoncemorethatEuropeandtheAfricanfringeoftheland-lockedseahavetooffertothehungerofthewanderlustonlyastereotypedtable-d'hte.Shortlyitcloys.Withinseveralweeksonethingonlyhadpromisedtobreakthestagnantsurfacewithariffleofinterest.Andthatonethingpuzzledmeinnosmalldegree,sinceitwasnotsuchamatteraswouldordinarilyhavechallengedmyattention.Ihavepassedwithaglancemanybeautifulwomen,andfeltnoneedtoturnmyheadforafurtherinspection.Iamnotofthecavalieringtype,andyethereIwasfindingmyselfinterested,inastrangeandindefinableway,inawomanwhosefaceIhadnotseen,andwhosenameIdidnotknow.That,Itoldmyself,w

asthesecretofit.Itwasexactlybecauseshewaselusive,mysteriousinfashion,thatIfoundmyflatinterestpiqued.Ineverhadmorethantheswishofherskirtoraglimpseofherretreatingfigure,untilitcameaboutthatsheerinquisitivenessgaveheranaugmentedimportance.Atallevents,shehadeludedmeoversouthernEuropefromGenoatoConstantinople,andthenceintoEgypt,andIwantedtoseeherface.ItwasatNaplesthatIhadmyfirsthastyandimperfectviewofher.IwashurryingthroughtheGaleriaUmberto,onmyway


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toaluncheonappointmentforwhichIfoundmyselflate.AsIpassedMerola'sayoungwomanwassittingbeforeacounter,withherbacktothestreet,tryingongloves.Icouldappreciatethegypsygraceofherfigure,whichwasslender,becauseoneoftheavocationsintowhichIhaveessayedwithoutdistinctionispainting.ThesinglethingatwhichIhavenotfailed,exceptthesuccessofhavingselectedparentswhobequeathedmemoney,isanappreciationofthebeautiful.Thatappreciation,despitemyhurry,broughtmetoastopforafullglanceather;buttherewasnomirroratanypartoftheshopwhichgavemeareflectionofheravertedface,andasmyappointmentwasimperative,Irefrainedfromgoingintobuygloves.Buttherewassomethingsoexquisiteinherbearing,andinthetastefullinesofhersimpletravelinggown,thatIcaughtmyselfthinkingofher.ThenasIwentdowntothequayadaylatertosayfarewelltosomefriends,justasthegangplankofanoutgoingsteamerwasabouttobedrawnup,Isawherhurryingacrossit.Herfacewasstillaverted.Istrainedtocatchafeature,butawaywardgustofbaybreezewrappedafilmyveilabouttheprofilewhichwasforamomentturnedmyway--andhidit.Shedidnothouseatthedeckrailbutdisappearedas

thegangplankcameupandcutoffpursuit.ButIhadaddedtomyfirstimpressiontheknowledgethatshedidnotmerelywalk.ShesoaredasthoughherfeetwerethesandalsofHermes,andshecarriedherselfwiththesplendidgraceofaslenderyoungqueen.


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CHAPTERI

[Illustration:Ayoungwomanwassittingbeforeacounter,withherbacktothestreet,tryingongloves.]

Theluncheonappointment,whichhadthwartedmyimpulsetoturnintothegloveshop,andsoendthemysteryinitsincipiency,broughtalongtrailofcomplicationsandcausedmetoenvythosefortunatemenwhoarenothandicappedbythepossessionofrelatives.Ihavesometimesthoughtthatthetrulyidealexistencewouldbetobebornanorphanunhamperedbycousins,auntsoranyofthosehumanbeingswhoareprivilegedtomakedemandsuponourtimesandthoughts.

FromthemomentwhenIwatchedtheskylineofNewYorksinkslowlybehindthehorizonuntilIreachedNaplesIhadatleastbeenafreeagent.ButhardlyhadIsignedmyguestcardatParker'sHotelandstrolledouttohailacrazyNeapolitanhackwhentheangularandpurposefulfigureofmyAuntSarahloomedupinthenearforegroundand--savinghergrace--eclipsedthepicturesquenessofthetownandthedistantconeof

Vesuvius.IhadknownvaguelythatthisestimableladywasbeatingherwayaboutEurope,guide-bookedandgrimlysetuponself-improvement,butIhadhopedtokeeptheareaoftwoorthreemonarchiesbetweenus.

IknewthatfromonetotheotheroftheCook'sAgenciesshewouldbeflittingwiththesamefranticenergythatcharacterizestheindustryoftheant.ThatIshouldmyselfpasswithinhailingdistanceofherpartyorberecruitedinherperegrinationswasadisasterwhichIhadnotanticipated.NonethelesstheblowhadfallenandIhadwalkedunwarnedintotheambuscadeofherfondembrace.AuntSarahwouldnowconverse

voluminouslyofcathedralsandoldmasters,andallthethingsuponwhichtouristsarefedtoapointofacutementaldyspepsia.

Shehadorderedmetoluncheonwithmuchthesamefinalityasthatwithwhichroyaltycommandstheattendanceofguestsatcourt.IhadgonemeeklythoughdoingsoinvolvedpassingMerola'sandopenedupaseriesofeventswhichweredestinedtoalterfortheworsemyimmediatefuture.Buttheluncheonhadbeenonlythebeginning,andgreatermisfortunesweretofollowindueorder.

Ihaveneversincebeenabletounderstandpreciselywhatformofparesisseized

uponme,andparalyzedmynormallyefficientpoweroflying,whensheinstructedmetoattachmyselftoherpartyforamotortriptoVillefrancheandNice.IdoknowthatnoavailablemendacityoccurredtomyshockedbrainandIfoundmyselfmurmuringanacceptance.Theacceptancewasagainmeekandspineless.IhaddiscoveredatluncheonthatAuntSarah,withthatmotherlyobsessionwhichappearstocharacterizemanymaidenladiesoffiftyandbeyond,hadunderwingapartyofthreeyoungladieswhowerecappingofftheir


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educationswiththepostgraduate"advantages"ofthegrandtour.Thattheseyoungladiespossessedallthehomelyvirtues,Ihavenottheslightestdoubt.Theirfacesandfiguresattestedthehomelinessandtheirvirtuewassuchthattheyseemedalwayswonderingwhethertheirhaloswereonstraight.Theirswasaninsatiategreedforintellectualfeeding.TheybrowsedthroughtheirBaedeckerswithaseemingterrorlestsomethingeruditeescapethem.Theypursuedandcapturedandassimilatedeveryfleetingfactwhichmightimprovetheirminds.Untilmycaptivitytheyhadnomanwiththeirparty.ThatwasprobablybecauseAuntSarahhadmadethestrategicmistakeofpermittingallthose,whomshemightotherwisehaveannexed,toseehergirls.Sheshouldhaveenlistedhermaleescortfirstandheldbacktheintroductionsuntildesertionwasimpracticable.Atallevents,Ihad,liketheimbecileIwas,"fallenforit,"andsurrenderedmyliberty.WhentheboatbearingtheunknowndivinitysetsailIwasmerelyasatelliteofAuntSarah'sconstellationandnolongerafreeagent.

BecauseIhappenedtobe,inasuperficialway,familiarwiththetourist-trampedsectionsoftheContinent,I

becameasortofgentlemancourier,withoutrecompense,andbecauseIhadonceundertakentobeapainter,Iwasexpectedtogiveextemporaneouslecturesonthearttreasuryofthemuseums.Wewalkedseveralthousandmiles,ormaybeitwasmillions,overthosepeculiarlyhardfloorswhichmakeartgalleriespenitentialinstitutions.Isawthethreeplainfacesineveryphaseofsoulfulrapturethatcanbeelicitedbythelaborsofthemasters,fromMichelangelotoMurillo.

Whenthishadgoneonforseveralcenturies,ormaybeitwasons,Idiscoveredthateveryartgalleryhastwo


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CHAPTERI

orthreetrulyinterestingfeatures,thoughthefullenjoymentofthesewasdeniedme.Ispeakoftheexits.PerhapstotheunintimidatedmindoftheoutsideritmayappearthatwhateveragoniesIunderwentwerethedeservedresultofmyownabjectness.ItiseasytosaythatImighthavepleadedotherplansandgoneonmywayenfranchised.TosuchacriticmyonlyandsufficientreplyisthatheorshedoesnotknowmyAuntSarah.MyAuntSarahsaystowhomsoevershechooseth,"Go,"andhegoeth;"Come,"andhecometh.SheknewperfectlywellthatIhadnootherplans.Shecorrectlyassumedmetobeaderelictfloatingwithoutpurposeandwithmychartlostover-side.ShevirtuouslyresolvedthatforonceIshouldbemadeofuse,inassistingtoimprovethemindsofthethreeplainyoungladies.Lyingwouldhavebeenquitefutile.Consequentlyshesaid,"Come,"andIcame.WhenIlearnedthatweweretomakethetourtotheRivieratownsbymotor,Iwelcomedthesuggestionasalessevilthancathedralsandartgalleries.Atleastweshouldbeoutofdoorsandintheexhilarationofrapidmotiononemighthopetoforget

thethreeyoungladiesatbriefandblessedintervals.Onecouldnotatthesametimethinkoftheculture-pursuingtrioandanythingrapid.

IthasbeenmycurseinlifethatIhavedabbledatsomanythingsthatIcanbemadeofsmatteringuseinalmostanycircumstance.Ourchauffeurdiscoveredthisthreeandone-halfminutesaftertheoccurrenceofourfirstblow-out,whenAuntSarah,takingpityuponhissweatinganddust-grimedbrow,toldmeofftohelphimpatchthepuncture.Afterthatitwasimpossibletofeignignoranceastotheinteriorworkingsanddeviltriesofmotorcars.

TheUpperCornicheRoadisperhapsthemostcharmingdrivewayoftheworld--andIsaythiswithduereverencetoAmalfi.ByaroadaswhiteasafreshtableclothandassmoothasabowlingalleyonespeedstothepurringofhismotoralongthewaythrownupforthetrampingfeetofBonaparte'sbattalions.Fromacommandingheightthetravelerlooksdown,asfromtheroofoftheworld,withclosekinshipofpeaksandclouds,uponapanoramaa-riotwithbreadthanddepthandcolor.Fascinatingroad-housesofstuccowallscurtainedbehindaprofusionofclamberingrosestemptonetopauseandtakehiseasetothetinkleofguitars

andmandolins.ButAuntSarahandthegirls,everbentuponreachingthenextcathedralwithastainedglasswindoworthenextdingycanvasofasaintsittingonacloud,werescarcelyamenabletothelureofroad-housetemptation.

TheyseemedtoregardEuropeasatransitoryeffectwhichmightfadelikethegloriesofsunsetbeforetheyhadfinishedseeingit,andanythingsavoringofthedilatoryarousedtheirsuspicion.


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FarbelowuslaytheoutspreadMediterranean,bluebeyonddescriptionanduponherplacidbosomsailboatsshrunktothesizeofswallowsandyachtsseemednolargerthannurserytoys.

Onegraciousafternoon,whileIwasoccupyingthefrontseatbesidethedriver,Ialmostattainedastateofcontentment.IwaspretendingthatIhadforgottenallaboutthehumanfreightinthetonneau.Myeyesweredrinkinginthesmilingbeautyframedbythewidehorizon,whensuddenlythedroningofthemotorsfellquietandwithnowarrantablereasontheautomobileslidtoahaltanddeclinedtoproceedfarther.


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CHAPTERII

CHAPTERII

PURSUINGAWILL-O'-THE-WISP

AuntSarahandthegirlsweremuchannoyedandtheirannoyancedidnotgrowlesswhen,afterahalf-hourofdiagnosis,thechauffeuremerged,grease-stainedandexhaustedfromunderthecar,shakinghishead.Hefranklyadmittedthathisworm'seyeviewhadfailedtoenlightenhimastothetrouble.AuntSarahturneduponmeeyesmirroringafaithsufficienttomoveevenstalledmotorcars.

"Iamsure,mydear,"shesaid,sweetly,"yourmechanicalaptitudecanfindaremedyforthisdifficulty."

Itwas,ofcourse,anordertoburrowintotheconfinedspacebetweentheroadbedandthebottomofthecar,andofcourseIburrowed.ForatimeIwasoutoftouchwithallmatterstranspiringinthegreatouterworld,butfinallyIsawtheinvertedfaceofourchauffeurgazinginuponmeandheardhisbellowingvoice.Ihave

hithertoneglectedtomentionthatourchauffeurwasneitherFrenchnorItalian,butIrish.Hewas,infact,anexcellentfellow,andtheonlymemberofourpartywhomIfoundcompanionable.

"Sure,sor,"heyelled,"there'sanothercarintroublejustaroundth'turnav'th'road."

Isupposedthathewasimpartingthisinformationonlyoutoftheassumptionthatmiserylovescompany,andinasmuchasmyreplywasprofane,itneednotbequoted.Inamomentmore,however,hisgrinningvisagereappearedattheroadlevel."Theywantstoknowifyoucan'tbeaftherlending'ematire-iron?"

"Whatdotheythinkthisis?"Iroaredback,squirmingfarenoughtoclearmyfaceforutterance,butnotfarenoughtoseewhatwasgoingon."Thisisn'tarepaircrew."

Itwashardlyagraciousresponsetoafellowmotoristintrouble,butmypointofviewwasoppressedwiththeweightofaparalyzedcar,andAuntSarahandthegirls,andIwasmisanthropictothedegreeofsourness.Frommypositionwhateverconversationensuedwasmerelyanincoherentbabbleofvoices.Palpably,despitemydiscourtesy,Mr.Flanneryhadsuppliedtheinquirerswithwhatevertheyneeded,andtheyhadgonetheir

way.I,inthecourseofthenextfewminutes,emergedfrommyhedge-hogisolation,tinkeredwiththecarburetor,andcrawledbackagainintoconcealment.Thensomeonereturnedtheborrowedtire-iron.IdidnothavetheopportunitytospeaktotheSomeone,andIshouldnothaveseentheSomeoneatallhadInothappenedtocatchtheshoutedwordsofMr.Flannery.Mr.Flanneryhadsoaccustomedhimselftopittinghisvoiceagainstmachinerythateveninmomentsofquiethehurledhiswordsliketheroarofabull.So,ashe


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spokenowtotheunknownperson,Irecognizedanallusiontomyself.Thewordswhichsetmetoextricatingmyselfasspeedilyaspossiblefrommyhumblepositionwereasfollows:

"Sure,ma'am,th'bosswouldbeaftherbein'morepolitetoyer,onlythecarislayin'alittleheavyonhisstummick,anditgiveshimabitofagrouch."

Thewordwhichexcitedmewasthe"ma'am,"andmyexcitementwasnomeansallayedwhenIstoodclearintheroadandsawjustdisappearingaroundacurveafigurewhichIrecognized.Itcouldbenootherfigure,fornootherfigurethatIhadeverseencouldwalkwiththesametriumphantandlissomegrace.Againthefacewasturnedawayfromme,andaboutherhatfloatedaconfusingcloudofveil.Butshehadbeentherewithinafewfeetandpossiblyhadevenheardmysurlyresponsestoherrequestforassistance.PossiblyshehadseenmywrigglingfeetwhileI,whowouldhaveesteemeditthegreatestpossibleprivilegetohaveassistedherinanyway,hadlaintheresurroundedbydustandprofanity.Iwasseizedwithamadimpulsetorunafterher,butIknewthatthereturnofmyironsignifiedthattheirtire-mendingwasfinishedandtheywereontheir

journey.


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CHAPTERII

Myownrepairswerenotfinished,andIstoodtherewithstreaksofgreaseacrossmyface,cakedwithdustandbynomeanspresentingtheappearancewithwhichamanmighthopetoappearacceptableintheeyesofdivinity.AuntSarahandherbevyofyoungintellectuals,Ifound,hadwithdrawntothegreatercomfortofanear-byroad-house,andcouldgivemenoinformation,whileFlannery'sdescriptionwasonthewhole,unsatisfactory.Theidiothadnotaskedhername,andinanswertoallmyquestionscouldonlyassuremevaguelythattheyoungladywas"apeach."Onethinghehadnoticed.Thecar,whichhadpassedusaquarterofanhourbeforewasalargebluetouringcar,ofhighhorse-power.Itisstrangewhatdetailsimpresscertainmindsandwhatgoesunseen.SoagainIhadmissedmychance,andtheincidenthadnotservedtoreconcilemetomyserfdom.

SeveraldayslaterIhadsucceededingainingabriefleaveofabsencefrommydutiesascourier,andwasspendinganintervalofsadlyneededrest.

Ihadthehopethattheunknowngirlandherpartywouldbestoppingforawhileinoneofthecloselygroupedtownsalongthecoast:Nice,Cannes,Mentone,MonteCarlo--itmatteredlittlewhichoneitmightbe.Ifshewasinanyofthese,Ishouldeventuallyfindher,andIhauntedthedazzlingwhitenessoftheBoulevarddesAnglais,withabuoyantpulsebeatofexpectancy.AtanymomentImightagaincatchaglimpseofherinashoporcaf,andifIdid,Imeantthatitshouldbemorethanaglimpse,andthatsheshouldnotagainescapeuntilIhadatleastseenherface.Ispentmostofmytimewonderingwhatshewaslike.Wouldthefullview

bringagreatersenseoffascinationorthepangofdisillusionment?ItmightbethatwhenIsawherIshouldfindmyselfharshlyawakenedfromadream,butatallevents,therewouldbecertainty,andanendtothetantalizingsenseoffollowingawill-o'-the-wispwhichconstantlyeluded.Shegavemeoneveryanxiousafternoon.IhadbeentakingahorsebackrideneartownwhenIcameuponawreckedandemptyautomobile.Thephysicalfactsshowedclearlywhathadhappened.Thecarhadevidentlyskiddedwhilespeeding,inanefforttoturnoutforsomepassingvehicle,andhadtriedtoclimbastonewall.Theremusthavebeenaveryuglymoment,asthetwistedfrontwheelsandcrumpledhoodattested.Whatfright

enedmewasthefactthatitwasalarge,bluetouringcarofthesamesort,ifnotidentical,withtheonedescribedbyFlannery.IwascommencingmyridewhenIsawit,butIturnedbackatoncetotownandbegananinvestigation.Ifinallylearnedthatthechauffeurforalocalgaragehadtakenapartyofhisownfriendsforajoyride,andthattheexpeditionhadcometosummarygrief.Myefforttotracethehistoryofthatparticularcarforaweekortwopastresultedinnothing.Iwasinformedthatithadbeenhiredmanytimesandt


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omanyunrecordedpersons,usuallyfortheafternoonorday.

SeveralnightslaterIwassittingataroulettetableinMonteCarlo'sCercledesEtrangers.Ihadfalleninwithacoterieofchanceacquaintances,whoforsomereasonheldfaithinmyluckandinsisteduponmycrowdingintoavacantplaceatthewheel.Myfunctionwastosubmittotheissueoffortunenotonlymyownstackoflouisd'or,butalsotheconsiderablepursethattheyhadraisedamongthem.

Mytablewasnearthecenterofthemainsalle,andatmyelbowscrowdedthelittlepartyofmenandwomenwhoseinterestshunguponmysuccessorfailure.Itwasthesameoldscene;thesameoldlifethatoneseesyearafteryearinthischiefcathedralofthegodsofchance.Menandwomenfrombothhemispheresstoodorsatinthetenseabsorptionofeyesrivetedondancingballandwhirlingdisc.Atmyrightwasaregallygownedwomanwhosedelicatefeatureswerenowashardasagateandwhoseeyeswereavid.AtmyleftwasasaturnineSpaniardwhosmiledindifferently,butwhodidnotknowhiscigarhaddiedtoastalecoldness.Iwasexperiencingthesenseofdisillusionmentwhichinvariablycomestomeafres

hwhenIentertheCasinoofMonaco.Ialwaysascendthestairsofthepalacewhichtheprincipality-supportingsyndicatehasprovidedforitspatronswithamildelationofexpectancy.Ialwaystakemyplaceatthetableswiththerealizationofdisappointment.Thesparkleofjewelsisthere;sometimesthebeautyisthere,butthespiritthatrulesisnotaspiritofgaiety;andtheglitterofeyesmakesmeforgetthediamonds.Thecoldlustofgreedflashesinthehardbrightnessofsetfaces.

Betweenthedroningannouncementsofthecroupierinsidiousthoughtsforcethemselves.Ithinkofthe


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CHAPTERII

management'sefficientambulanceservices;oftheexhaustivearrangementsbywhichunknownpatronsmaybepromptlyidentified;andthesinisterdiscoveriesofthebeach.Thesethingswereinmymindnowasthestackofgoldpiecesatmyfrontalternatelypiledanddwindledunderafitfulsequenceofpettylossesandgains.

ImayhavebeenatthetableanhourwhenIbegantohavetheinsistentfeelingofsomeoneinparticularstandingatmyback.Ofcourse,thereweremanypeoplebehindme.Besidesmyownpartywasthecrowdofidleonlookersaswellasotherswhowereimpatientlywaitingtoseizeuponvacantplacesabouttheboard.

Andyet,justthenIcouldnotturnmyhead.Mysysteminvolvedleavingthewinningsuponthetableforthreesuccessivespinsofthewheel.Ihadplayedagroupofnumbersintheblack,cautiouslyavoidingthealluringperilsofthegreaterodds,andtwicemylittlepileoflouisd'orhaddrawninitsprizemoney.Onthethirdspin

westoodtolosetheentireamountofouraugmentedstakeorseeourpileswellcommandingly.WhileIwaitedforthecroupiertoclosethebettingandtouchthebutton,Itwistedmyheadbackward,todeterminewhosepresenceinthethronghadsosubtlyannounceditselftomyconsciousness.Butthebarrieroffacesthatpressedcloseagainstmychaircutoffallwhostoodfurtherback.Thewheelraced;theballdancedmadlyaboutitsrim;thecrowdstoodbatingitsbreath;andthescatteredpilesofgoldlayindoubtonthegreenbaizediagram.

Itwasover.Thecroupiersangoutthewinningnumber,columnandcombinations.

TherakewasextendedtopushovertomeafairlyimposingpileofFrenchgold.Iwasconsciousofcominginformorethanmyindividualshareofinterest.Luckhadbeenwithme,andatMonteCarlo,theluckymanisthemanofmoment.Butthesenseofsomepersonalityabovethemanypersonalitieswasnowborneinuponmewithirritatingforce.Iwasimpatienttoriseandpushbackmychairandlookaboutme,butasIattemptedtodoso,themenandwomenwhosecapitalIhadincreasedraisedachorusofremonstrance.IreluctantlyresumedtheplacewhichIhadbeenabouttoabdicateandoncemorelaidoutmystake.ThistimeIpushedtheentirepileout

ontothegreenclothinapyramidontheblack.IknewifIlostittheywouldwillinglysurrendermyservices.EvenatthatcostIwantedfreedom.

For,inthemomentthatIhadbeenstandingthere,Ihadcaughtaglimpseofaretreatingfigure,whichdisappearedthroughthedoor,almostattheinstantthatmyeyesidentifiedit.Itwasthefigureofawomaninevening-dress,orrather,Ishouldsay,ofthewomaninevening-dress.Therewasthesamegracefulmajestyof


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bearing,thesameslimgrace--andthesameavertedface.ButbecauseIwishedtoleavethetablefortunepursuedme.Spinafterspindoubled,tripled,quadrupledmyswellingpileofmoney.FinallyItoldthemthatIwouldremainforthreemoretestsofchance--butnomore.Icouldhardlyabandontheseenthusedmenandwomenwithoutwarning,butassoonasIhadfulfilledtheobligation,Irose,andIfeartherewasmoreofprecipitatehastethanofcourtesyinmymannerofshoulderingmywaythroughthepressofonlookers,tothedoorandthewonderfulembroideryofflowerbedsbeforethecasino.Eyesfollowedme,formyluckhadheldandIwasamomentarysensation.Itwasstillearly,ashoursgoinaplacewherethemajoractivitybelongstonightlife,andfortwohoursIhauntedthecafsandboulevardswithoutresult.Thenextdayprovedequallyfruitless,butthatnight,asIwasidlingwithmyafter-dinnercigar,alongtheBoulevarddeCondemine,Isawstrollingatsomedistanceaheadofme,ayoungmanandagirl.Itwasshe,andIhadonlytohastenmystepstoovertakeandseeher.IcouldguessthatthemanwithherwasaFrenchman.ThecutofhisclothesandthejauntyswaggerofhisbearingweredistinctivelyGallic.Myimaginationcouldreadthetitle"fortunehunter"

asthoughitwereembroideredonhiscoat-tails.

Iwasresentful,andhurriedon,butasusualIwasdestinedtodisappointment.Anuntimelyandinconsequentialacquaintanceloomedupinmypath,andwhenIattemptedtobrushhastilybyhim,heslappedmeonthebackandhailedmewiththatmostirritatingofallconceivableformsofaddress,"Well,howistheboyto-night?"

Hedidnotfindthe"boy"particularlyaffablethatnight,butwithanaccursedandpersistentgenialityhe


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CHAPTERII

succeededindelayingmeforthespaceofafewpreciousmoments.Atadistance,Isawherdisappearintoalighteddoorwayagainstwhichherfaceandfigureshowedonlyinsilhouette.AgainIhadlosther.Icouldhardlypursueherintotheentrancesofprivatehouses,butInotedthelocationandwentbacktomyapartmentsintheHotelHermitagewiththecomfortingthoughtthatwewereinthesametownandthatbyrisingearlythenextmorning,andsearchingtirelesslytillmidnight,Ishouldultimatelybeabletoseeher.

Beforesleepcametomeatelegramwasbroughttomydoor.

AuntSarahhadsucceededinbecominginvolvedinsomeludicrousdifficultywiththeItaliancustomsofficials.SheimploredthatIcomeatoncetoherrescue.Howshehadachievedit,wasamatterofinscrutablemystery.IhadalwaysfoundthepolitenessofItaliancustomsofficersasgraciousasabenediction,butAuntSarahwasaresourcefulperson.Irejoinedherdetestablecortgelongenoughtoextricateherfromhernewest

difficulty,andtodiscusswithherherplansfortheimmediatefuture.IfoundthatsheandheryoungladieswereyearningforthesepiatintedwallsofRomewhere,undereverybrokencolumnandcrumblingarchtheirhungrysoulsmightdrinkdeepdraughtsofimprovingtraditionandculture.IknewthattheywouldwastenotimemusingbymoonlightintheshadowsoftheColosseum,butthatwithLatindictionariestheywoulddecipherinthebroadlightofdaytheinscriptionsonthearcsofTitusandConstantine.Nonetheless,Iencouragedtheirideaandenlargeduponthesuitabilityofthistime.Ilookedupthetrainschedulesandwiredforhotelreservations.EverymomentthattheyhesitatedIwasexcitedlyquoting

,thoughnotaloud,linesthatcamebackfromthedaysofaless-matureliterarytaste:

"'Whydostthoustayandturnaway,HereliesthepathtoRome.'"

Ithoughtitthepartofwisdomtorefrainfrommentioninguntiltheactualmomentoftheirdeparturethatmyownwaylayinanoppositedirection.ButwhenIhadseenthemsettledintheirfirst-classcompartmentsandtheaccommodatingguardhadreassuredmebylockingthemin,IturnedwithasighofcontentmentandfledbacktoMonteCarlo.Ihadbeenabsentonlyafewdays,butIreturnedtoadustyanddesolatetown.Perhaps

thenumbersofgamblersandpleasure-seekershadnotactuallydiminished.Perhapstheyhadevenincreased,butaday'ssearchsatisfiedmethattheunknownladyhadgone,andformethetownwasempty.

WhatidiosyncrasydrovemetotheHolyLand,Icannotsay,unlessitwasthataftermyexhaustingtermofcathedralinspectionIfeltadesiretohavealookatthattemplewhich,exceptfortheTajMahal,hasalwaysappealedtomeastheworld'smostbeautifulplaceofworship--theMosqueofOma


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r.

RidingonedayonadonkeyaroundthewallsofJerusalem,IhadaglimpseofHerstandingontherampartsabovemebythegateoftheNeedle'sEye.ButasIlookedup,thesunwasfullinmyeyesandIcoulddistinguishonlythelashingofherskirtsinthewind,andahalo-likeauraofgoldaboutherhead,whichwasuncovered.Atthatdistanceherfacewasafeaturelessoval.UntilnightcamewithitshowlingofathousanddogsIvisitedtheplacestowhichguidesmostfrequentlyconducttheircharges.ButintheTempleofTheSepulchre,ontheMountofOlives,attheJews'WailingPlaceandamongthevaultedbazaars,therewasonlyfailureformyquest.FortwodaysIhunted,andwhileIhuntedshemusthavegonedowntoJaffaordepartedfortheoverlandtriptoSyria.


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CHAPTERIII

CHAPTERIII

IEMBARKONAFOOL'SERRAND

IwassittingontheterraceatShepheard'sHotelontheeveningofmyarrivalthere.Iwasfindinglifeflat,asonemustwhocandiscovernofascinationinCairo'sappealtotheeyes,nostrilsandears.Beforemewastheolla-podridaoftouringfashionandfellaheensqualor;thesmellofcamelsandattarofroses;thepolyglotchatterofEuropeanpleasure-seekersandthetom-tomsofArabpilgrims.

ThenoncemoreIsawher.ButstillIdidnotseeherface.Isupposetherewereotherpersonswithher.Ididnotnotice.Ididnoticethesalientthing.Shewasboardingamotor'bus,presumablyfortheAlexandriatrain,andwasfollowedbytheusualCaireneretinueoftarbooshedportersandluggage-bearers.

Myglimpseofherwasagainonlyinexit.Mybaggagehadjustbeenunpacked,andIalsocouldnotcatchthe

Alexandriatrain.IhadbeenfoolishenoughtoannouncemycomingbypostcardfromJerusalemtoanacquaintanceattheTurfClubandhadfoundawaitingmeatShepheard'sonmyarrivalanoteinformingmethatGeorgeClann,afriendofpastdays,hadinvitedafewarmyofficersandnativemenfordinnerthateveningtomeetme.Thenoteaddedthatnoexcusewouldbeaccepted.Ihadcalleduptheclubandsignifiedmyacceptance.ThatwasbeforeIhadseenthedepartinggoddess,butIwasdueintheShariaelMagrabianhourhenceandsowasonceagaincompletelyanchored.

HadIseenherinentranceinsteadofinexitonly,Ishouldperhapshaveremain

edinEgyptandfannedintorebirthalanguidinterestinsarcophagiandcartouchesandcamel-ridingandscramblingupthecomfortlessslantsofpyramids.

AsitwasIbegantosubscribetotheOrientalideaofaninevitabledestiny.Iadmittedtomyselfthatitwaswrittenthatformethisladywastoremainasunseenasthoughshebelongedtothelatticedandveiledseclusionofsomepasha'sharem.ItoldmyselfthathadmyfirstglimpsebeenafulloneIshouldhavegoneonmywaywithpromptforgetfulnessandthatacuriositysostrangeandfantasticmustinfluencemenofurther.

IsoughtoutanemptyplaceontheterracewhereunintentionallyenoughIoverheardanearnestconversationbetweenafair-hairedandenthusiasticyoungEnglishmanandagrizzledfellowinmiddlelife.Theyweretalkingbusinessinoneofthewriting-roomswhichgiveoutthroughopenwindowsupontheterrace,andtheenthusiasmoftheyoungergaveacarryingqualitytohisvoice.

Hewas,itappearedfromhissolicitude,seekingabilletwhichitlayinthepo


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werofhiseldervis--vistobestow.FromthediscussionwhichneitherofthemtreatedasconfidentialIlearnedthatthereissomewhereinthePacificOceanaperfectlyuselessislandfromwhichcertainethnologicaldataandexhibitsmightbeobtained.ItfurtherappearedthattheBritishMuseumwasdeficientintheseparticularcuriosandthattheglasscaseswereyearningtobefilled.TheyouthhadbeenemployedinSoudaneseexcavationsandresearch.Nowthatworkhadendedandwithitthepay,thenecessityforotherworkandpayhadnotended.

"Thebilletdownthere,"suggestedtheelderman,"willbenoendbeastly,Idaresay.AtrampsteamersailsfromPortSaidinthreedaysforSingapore,SandakanandtheSouthSeas.Thepaywillbeonehundredandfiftypoundsforthejob.Thefarewillprobablybemaggotybiscuits--still,ifyoufeelgametohaveadashatit----"Thespeakerfinishedwithashrugwhichseemedtoadd,"It'sneverdifficulttofindafool."

Buttheyoungmanlaughedwithawhole-heartedenthusiasm,thatentirelymissedtheundernoteofcontemptinthemannerofhisbenefactor."Well,rather,"hedeclared."AndIsay,youkn

ow,itsjollygoodofyou,sir."

LaterImadetheacquaintanceoftheyoungBritonintheAmericanbarwhereoverScotchandsodawediscussedtheproject,totheendthatInominatedandelectedmyselfanassistantforagerfortheBritish


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CHAPTERIII

Museum,servingatmyownexpense.Therewassomethinglikeableaboutmynewandnaveacquaintance,whowassoeagertoshoulderhisfutilewayacrossathirdoftheglobe'scircumferenceinsearchofcrudelyinscribedrocksandaxe-headsanddecayingskulls.Myownexperienceinlifehadbeenevenmorefutile.Ihadlearnedtospeakfivelanguagesandhadcompletelyfailedofgainingafootholdinfiveusefulprofessions:Art,Law,Literature,MusicandContentment.PossiblytheappeasementofmySalathealhunger,thecuringofthecurse,didnotafterallliealongtheroutesofCunardersandPullmans.MaybeIwasstillnibblingattravelastheschool-girlnibblesatchocolates.Perhapshismethodoftakingthelongandemptytrailwastheheroicmedicinemyitchingfeetrequired.Atallevents,Isententiouslyquotedtomyself,"IthinkItwillkillmeorcure,andIthinkIwillgothereandsee."

WhenIinformedyoungMansfield,forthatprovedtobehisname,thatImeanttobehistravelingcompanion,hisalmostchildlikefacetookonanincredulousexpression.Hewasagreattwo-

hundred-poundchapwhosephysiqueshouldlogicallyhavebeentheassetofapirateorapugilist,butthevisagewhichsurmountedithadarosypinknessandhisblueeyesworetheguilelesscharityofessentialinnocence.Withhisphysicalpowerwentalong-sufferinggoodnature,andashetalkedofthewidelyscatteredplaceshehadseenandthethingswhichshouldhavemadehimwiseinhisgenerationitseemedtomethathissoulmusthavewornamacintosh,fromwhichtheshowersofexperiencehadbeenshedoffwithoutleavingamark.IhaveseenmastiffswitheyesfullofwistfulnessbecauseNaturehasdeniedtheiraffectionatetemperamentsthegentle

livesoflapdogs.Mansfieldstruckmethesameway.Whyaman,byhisspareandsimplestandardsasrichasCr[oe]sus,shouldcaretoshipwithhimonavoyagepromisingmaggotybiscuits,wasquitebeyondhismentalprocess.Heconfessed,inallfrankness,thathediditmerelyforthemoney--thepitifulhundredandfifty.TherewasagirlbackinEngland,probablyasdevoidofsurprisesandcomplicationsofcharacterasalane-sideprimrose.Ipicturedhertomyselfasacreatureofpinkandshallowprettiness.ThedaytowhichhisambitionstrainedastheultimategoalwasthedaywhenhecouldbecomeacuratorintheBritishMuseumandtransplanthertodecentLondonlodgings.Helongedtoplacardandarrangescara

bsinaplate-glasscaseandtoclassifyChimbotepotteryandonbankholidaystopushago-cartinthepark.

Iwasglad,however,whenIwentovertherust-redsideoftheWastrelthatMansfieldwentwithme.Wehadknownthatwewereshippingonameanvessel,andoneshoulderedoutofmoreorderlychartings,becauseofherunworthiness.Linersdidnotplythetepidwatersforwhichwewerebound:watersriddenbyno


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commercesavethepeddlingofcopraandpearlshellandbeche-de-mer.YeteventhewarninghadnotpreparedmeforwhatIfound,asIfirststeppeduponheruncleandecksandhadmyinitialviewofhermoreuncleancrew.PerhapsthereareothercorrodedhulksshamblinghereandthereamongthelessfrequentedportsofthesevenseasasuninvitinginappearanceandasvillainouslymannedaswastheWastrel,butonthispointIstandunconvinced.Aglancetoldusthathersea-worthinesswasquestionableandthatherover-burdeningcargopressedherPlimsollmarkclosetothewaterline.Weweretolearnbydegreesthathertimberswererotten,herplatesrust-eatenandherenginesjunk.Herofficerswereoutcastsfromrespectableseafaring,nonetoocordialintheirrelationswithadmiraltycourts.Theyhadfallenbackonthehazardouscommandofsuchavesselasthisnotfromchoice,butnecessity,preciselyasothertypesofunemployedandhopelessmenfallbackonvagrancyandcrime.Hercrewwaspickedfromthedregsofscatteredports.TheywereLascars,Kanakas,Chineseandnon-descriptsfromhereandthere;haledforthandsignedfromdiveswherehumangarbagetricklesdowntothesea.Atfirsttheyinterestedmeasnewandroughenedtypesof

men,yetasIsay,Iwasmorethangratefulfortheshouldertouchofatleastonebeingofmyownsort.Fromourarrival,noneofthemexceptthecaptainandofficerstooktheslightestpainstoconcealthattheyregardedusasunwelcomeinterlopersandeventhecourtesyoftheafter-guardwasshort-livedenough.InthatdesertoftaciturnityMansfieldbabbledlikeabrookandoverflowedwithyoungsentimentality.

ThefirstlegofourjourneyendedatBorneo,leavingusasunacquaintedwithofficersandseamen,saveinthesurfacedetailsofpersonalappearance,aswehadbeenatPortSaid.NowweweredroppingSandakanharbor

overthestern.Alreadythesprawling,hillsidetown,framedinitsmangroveswamps,waslostaroundthebuttressoftheharbor'ssentinelrock.Rampartsofsandstonewereburningwitharuddyglowinthesunset.


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CHAPTERIII

Asenseofisolationsettledonus.AswehadnosedourwayoutwardMansfieldhadbeenleaningsilentlyontheafterrail.HiseyeshaddweltlingeringlyonthegreengardensandwhitewalksoftheBritishConsulatewhichsitsuponitshill.Nowwehadseenthelastofthatandofthebay'sflotillaofmatting-sailedjunks.Offtheportbowwereonlybeetlingsandstoneandthecountlessgulls,flashingwhiteastheytiltedthesnowyliningsoftheirwingsintothesun.Hetalkedforatime,inlowtonesofthegirlinSussexasmenwilltalkwhentheyarehomesick,andthenherathershamefacedlyproducedfromsomewhereandopenedatrandomamuchbatteredblank-book,writteninawoman'shand.

"Idaresay,"hehesitantlytoldme,"Ihavenomoralrighttoreadthis.It'squitepersonal,yetit'sunsigned.Invasionofprivacycan'tapplytoanonymouspersons,youknow."HepausedforaminuteandindolentlywatchedthescreaminghordesofSandakanbirdsasifawaitingmyagreement,butIsaidnothing.

"Yousee,"hecontinued,"I'vebeenlivinglatelyinacheappensionatCairoand,beforethat,inbeastlySoudaninns,sowhenIdrewabitinadvanceIresolvedtotreatmyselftoadayortwoatShepheards.Yourememberhowfullthehousewas?Theyhadtogivemeasmallroomontheroof.Itwasreallyasortofservant'sroominlesscrowdedtimes,Ifancy.AbeggarofanArabusedtoprayonhisruginfrontofmydoor....InrummagingaboutIfoundthis."Hehelduptheblank-book."Ilookedforanaddress,meaningtopostittoitsownerbuttherewasnoaddressandonlygivennames--there'snotasurnamebetweenthesecovers.Someservantmusthavefounditinavacatedroomandlaterleftitint

heonetowhichIhadfallenheir.Seemstohavebeensomegirl'sdesultorybutintimatediary.Justanentrynowandthen,withevidentlylonggapsbetween.Youseethefirstwritingisimmature,almostchildish--andthelastisdatedatCairo."

Inoddedmyhead,butsaidnothing.Heappeareddeeplyinterestedbuthissimplepunctiliorequiredthereinforcementofmyapproval,beforehecouldquitecleartheskirtsofhisconscienceinthematterofhavingsampleditscontents.

"Yousee,"hehalf-apologized,"myfirstglancewasdisinterested,Iwasmerely

seekingtoidentifyownership.Butfromjustafewlines,readinthatfashion,Isawthatitwas--"hisvoicebecameserious,almostawed--"wellthatitwasratherwonderful.Somegirlhasbeenputtingherheartintowordshere--"hetappedtheblank-book--"andshe'swrittenagenuinehumandocument."Againhepaused,drummingontherailwiththefingersofonehand.

"Fromahalf-dozenbitsofChimbotepottery,"hereflected,"Icanreadagreat


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dealofthehabitsandlifeoftheIncas.Icanrestoreanextinctmammalfromsomefragmentsofskeleton,butIfinditjollydifficulttounderstandanythingaboutawoman.Ifafellowmeanstomarryheoughttotrytounderstand.That'swhyI'dliketohaveadipintothis.DoyouthinkImight?"

"Doyouthink,"Icountered,smiling,"thatyouwouldhavetherighttoreadsomebody'sunsignedlove-letters?"AcertainmagazineeditorhadoncewitheringlyopinedthatIwouldneversucceedinliteratureuntilIacquiredsomeinsightintothefeminineriddle.Buthehadnotpointedmetodiaries.Hehadbluntlyadvisedmetofallinlovewithafewvarianttypes.

Untilamanhadfoundblondordarkhairsonhiscoatshoulder,saidtheeditor,hecouldnothopetowriteaboutheartbeats.Ifhehadfoundvariouskinds,andthatoften,hecouldwritebetter.

YoungMansfieldwasgivingmyquestionagraverandmoreliteralconsiderationthanitmerited.

"Iratherthink,"hesaidseriously,"thatonemightreadsuchletters.Unlesst

heoffenseisagainstsomedefinitepersonthereisnooffenseatall."

"Perhapsyouareright,"Iadmitted,withalistlessavoidanceofargument,andinamomentmorehehadopenedthebookatrandomandwasreadingaloud.


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CHAPTERIV

CHAPTERIV

SOMEPASSAGESFROMADIARY

Mansfieldwasright.Thepagesofthisdiarystrucktheessentiallyhumannoteoffrankself-avowal.TheywereasfragrantasMayorchards,theirsweetnessofpersonalitymadeonethinkofbraveyoungdreamsamongdewyblossoms.ButIconfessedtohimthefeelingthatweweretrespassersintothesesecrets,andafterthatheeitherlaidthebookbyaltogetherorreaditonlywhenalone.

TheWastrelwascruisingathercripple'spacesoutheastbyeast,throughthosehotwaterswhichliedirectlyabovetheequator.Aftersomedaysweslopedacrosstheline,butstillclungtothehideousswelterofthenextmeridian.Ourcourselayamonggroupsoflushislandswhichsimmeredinsteamandfever,andthemerciless,overheadsunbeatuponus,asiffocusedthroughaburningglassuntilthepitchoozedfromthedeckcracks,andthesweatfromourpores,andtheself-controlfromourcurdledtempers.Fac

esthathadbeensullenatSandakangrewmalevolentandmenacingat150degrees,east,where,ifIrememberrightly,wecrossedtheequator.

ThescowlsofthemendwelthatefullyuponCaptainCoulterashepacedthebridge.Fromscrapsofinformationpickeduphereandthereinfo'castledisparagement,Ipiecedtogetheraluridabstractofhishistory.Iknewhowwildandunsavorywerethereputationsofmanyofthemenoftheeasternbeaches.Ihadlistenedtotalesoflanaiandbund,buteveninsuchcompanyourskipperstoodoutasuniquelywicked.

Thesheerandhypnoticforceofhismasterfulwilllayoverandsilencedtheship.Fromthefirst,hedominated.Butifhehaddominatedatthelatitudeof120hedomineeredat150,andtothisdomineeringhebroughtallthoseextremesoftyrannywhichlieatthehandofaship'scaptainonthehighseas.Attimesthesheer,undilutedbrutalityofthiscontrolcompelledmyunwillingadmiration.Everypairofeyesthatmethisfromthefo'castle,wereeyesofsmolderinghatredandfear,andthoughheassumedscornfulunconsciousnessofthisattitude,heknewthathissecuritywasnogreaterthanthatofthelion-tamer,whosebeastshavebegunto

gobad.Hemustappeartoinviteattack,anduponitsfirstintimationofoutbreak,hemustpunish,andpunishmemorably.

CaptainCoulterwaslittleabovetheaverageinphysicalpatternandhewalkedwithaslightdefectofgait,throwingonefootoutwithanemphaticstamp.Hisfacewasalwaysclean-shaven,anditmighthaveservedasculptorforatypeoftheuncompromisingPuritan,sohiddenwereitsbrutalitiesandsostrongitsnoteof


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implacableresoluteness.

Overahighandratherprotrusiveforehead,longhairofirongraywasalwayssweptback.Bushyandaggressivebrowsshadedeyessingularlypiercingandofthesamedepthandcoldnessaspolarice.Hisnosewaslargeandstraight,andhislipssettightandunyieldinglikethejawsofasteeltrap.Thechinwassquareandclose-shaven.Ourcaptainwasasilentman,yetinhisownfashionbitterlypassionate.Heffernan,thefirstmate,wasatawdrycourtier,whostudiouslyconsideredhischiefineverymatter,andmaintainedhispositionofconcordbyludicrouscaretorisknodisagreement.InthestuffycabinwherethreetimesadayweswelteredoverbadfoodMansfieldandIstudiedtheattitudesoftheofficers.

Coultergrimlyamusedhimselfoverhiseatingbymakingabsurdstatementsforthesheerpleasureofseeinghisnextincommand,fallabjectlyintoagreement.Thesecondmate,however,wasimpenetrablysilent.Hewaswithoutfear,butalifewhichhadevidentlybroughthimdownasteepdeclivityfromalostrespectability,hadtaughthimconsiderationforodds.Ifhedidnotcontradictthedogmaticutterancesofhischiefintable

conversation,heatleastrefusedtoagree.

MansfieldandIwereconvincedthatifthisprematurelygrayfellowwiththedissipatedface,cutinapatricianmould,couldeverbebroughttothepointofpersonalnarrative,hewouldhaveastirringstorytotell.Wealso


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CHAPTERIV

knewthathewouldnevertellit.

Oncebeforethefeudbetweenafter-watchandfo'castledrovetheofficersintoanallianceofself-defense.Agraveclashbetweenthecaptainandthesecondmateseemedinevitable.Itwasanightofintolerableheat,andaskyspangledwithstarshungoveruslowandsmothering.Lawrence,thesecondmate,wasoffwatch,andjoinedus,carryingaviolin.Thenundertheweirddepressionandmelancholylassitudewhichburdenedusall,hebegantoimprovise.MansfieldandIlistened,spell-bound.Underhistouchthecatgutgaveoffsuchstrainsascouldcomeonlyfromthesheergeniusofagiftedmusicianwhohadsufferedmiserably.Itwasalmostasifheweregivingwithoutwordsthestorywhichhislipswouldnevertell,andintotheimprovisedmusiccreptinfinitepathosandsombertragedy.Noonecouldhavelistenedunmoved,butthemannerinwhichCaptainCoulterwasaffectedwasstartling.

Hecameoverwithanadventlikethatofamaniac.Thelamefootwaspoundingth

edeckwiththestressfulstampthatwasalwayshisindicationofrage.Hehaltedbeforeuswithfistsclenchedandhiseyesglittering.UponLawrenceheventedanoutpouringofblasphemousandunquotablewrath.

"Throwthatdamnedfiddleoverboard,"wasthecommandwithwhichhecappedhisfiercetirade."Don'tletmehearitshell-torturedscreechingonmyshipagain."

ForamomentLawrencestoodsilentandcoldinapetrifactionofanger.Thenhelaidtheinstrumentcarefullyonahatchandsteppedforward.Obviouslyitwasinhismindatthatmomenttokillthecaptain,butaftera

pausehethoughtbetterofit.Theoddsagainsthimweretooheavy.

"I'llstowtheviolininmybox,sir,"hesaidwithavoicesoquietitwasalmostgentle,"butsohelpmeGod,ifeverwemeetafterthisvoyageisended,Imeantokillyou."Coulterlaugheddisdainfullyandstrodeaway,butfortenminutesLawrencesatsilent,hisbreathcomingindeepgaspswhilehewrestledwiththemurdermadness.Welearnedlaterthatthecaptainwasoneofthosepersonswhommusicfrenzies,andfromthattimeonwedidnotevenpermitourselvestheconsolationofwhistlingafavoriteair.

Ofalltherestlessmeninthefo'castle,CoultermostkeenlywatchedoneJohnHoak,agiganticseamanfromLiverpool,inwhomheinstinctivelyrecognizedapotentialringleaderofmutiny.OneeveningHoakvindicatedthisappraisementbydefiantlyandloudlyplayingamusic-halltuneonanaccordion.AstrainofitreachedthebridgeandCoulter,whowasonwatch,orderedtheoffenderforward.Afteraviolentandprofanedenunciation,underwhichthegiantwrithedinsilentfury,Coulterlashedouttothesailor'smouthwithhis


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clenchedfistandsenthimsprawlingtothedeck.Butlestthisconductshouldappeartooirresolute,headdedthepunishmentoftwenty-fourhoursinirons.AfellowseamanpluckeduptheheroismtodemandthattheincidentbeenteredonthelogforadmiraltyinvestigationandCoulter'sonlyreplywastosendtheinsurgentintotheinfernoofthestokeholdforanextrashiftattheshovels.Inthestokeholdthethermometerregistered130degreesFahrenheit,andthewhiteandbrowntorsosthatstrainedunderthetremblingdialswereblackwiththesootysweatoftheireffortandredwiththepitilessglarefromthegrates.

Fromthesebeginningsthecloudonthehorizonofouraffairssteadilygatheredandblackeneduntilanominouspallofimpendingmutinyoverhungus.Onlyanoccasionalcoralreeforatollnowbrokethemonotonyofadeadandoilysea.Noshredofcloudrelievedtheemptinessofadevitalizedsky.MansfieldandIwentaboutincanvasshoesandpajamas.Theshipwasmoredisheveledthanwe,anditsdisciplinemoreslovenlythanitsdress.Thechurlishsilenceofthefo'castlewasmetbythebraggartautocracyoftheofficers.Conditionsgrewtenserandthickerwitheachday,yetnospecificrupturecamet

ofirethewaitingexplosion.Slowlyitbrewedandgatheredmenace,whiletheairhungpulselessandheavyunderitsshadow.MansfieldandIknewitneededonlyalightningflashtoloosealltheartilleryofthethundersandsetthemabouttheirhell'sfury.Bytacitconsentwedidnotoftentalkofit,butweremainedclosetogetherandplacedourrevolvers,beltsandsheath-kniveswheretheycouldbereadilycaughtup.Underthesilenthorrorofforebodingournervesbecamerawandourtempers,likethoseoftheothers,shortandraspy.Ononesultry


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CHAPTERIV

afternoonwhenthetradewindwasdead,IcameuponMansfieldsprawlingintheshadowofalife-boat,diligentlyreadingentriesfromtheunknowngirl'sdiary,touchingtheincidentsofhershelteredanduntroubledlife.Heglancedupshamefacedly,thenbeganinexculpation:

"Seehere,youknowyou'requitewrongabouttheguiltinessofreadingthis.I'msureshewouldn'tmind.She'snotthatsort.Herewearemenacedbytheinfernoofamutiny.Wearenobetterthanmicewaitingthepleasureofacat,whichmeanstocrushthem....Theatmospherewilldriveusmad.Thisbookislikeabreezeofftheheather....Itellyouithelps."

Inabnormaltimesmenentertainabnormalideasandwarpednotions.Isatcross-leggedonthedeckbesidehimandstuffedtobaccointomypipe.Isaidnothing.

"It'sallgettingonmynerves.I'mlosingmygrip!"headmitted."LastnightIdreamedofanastyrowandalldayabitofrhymehasbeenrunningthroughmybrain."Hepausedamoment,then

quoted:

"''TwasacutlassswipeoranounceofleadOrayawningholeinabatteredhead,Andthescuppersglutwitharottingred.

"'AndtheretheylaywhilethesoggyskiesDreenedalldaylonginupstaringeyes,Atmurksunsetandatfoulsunrise.'"

Hebrokeoffandlaughedathimselfunsteadily.

"Getyourmindoffit,"Icommandedshortly."Fetchouttheblank-book.Let'sre

adaboutherdbutparty."

Butthepassageatwhichthebookfellopendealtwithatimepriortodbuts.Attheheadofthepagewaspastedanewspaperclippinghintingatpersonalitiesbutgivingnonames.

"Oneofthemostbeautifulandpopularmembersoftheyoungersetinthesummercolony"hadbeencapsizedwhilesailingintheharbor.Theyouthwhoaccompaniedherhadbeenseizedwithcrampsandshehadkeptnotonlyherselfbutherhelplessescortabovewateruntilthetardyarrivalofhelp.Beneath,inherownhand,wasscrawled:

"Didtheyexpectmetodrownhim?Ihadtostandby,ofcourse.Whatelsecouldafellowdo?ButIspoiledadressIlooknicein.I'msorryforthat."

Appendedtothiswasapostscriptsobadlywrittenthatitwashardtodecipher.Icouldguessthathercheekshadcoloredasshewroteit.

"Maybeafterall,Iamagrandstander.Ididgetawfullytired--andIpretended


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thathewaslookingon,andwasswimmingouttohelpme."

"ByJove"snortedMansfield,"she'sarippinggoodsort.Iwonderwhoshepretendedwaslookingon."

"Turnback,"Isuggested."Itmaytell."

Butitwasonlyaftersomesearchingthatwefoundhimdulycatalogued,andeventhenshegavehimnoname.Yetintrailinghimthroughthepages,wecametoknowherquitewell,andtorendersincereallegiance.Shewasnotatallconventional.ShewasoneofthoserarediscoveriesuponwhichtheprospectorinlifecomesonlywhenhestrikesanElDorado.Shedaredtothinkherownthoughtsanddidnotgrowintothestereotypedmoldofimitation.Wefeltfromtheclean,instinctivecourageofhertoneandview-pointthatifillchancehadmaroonedherwithusonthisimperiledship,shewouldbearherselfmoregallantlythanwecouldhopetodo,


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CHAPTERIV

andthatshewouldtreadthesefilthydeckswithnospotsonthewhitenessofherskirts.

Inherearlywritingsshehadshownforsomethingofatomboyandtherewerehintsofelderlyexhortationtotreadmoreprimlythepathswhichweredeemedmaidenly.Yetfromthesetatteredscrapsoflifeandoutlook,wecouldpiecetogethersomeconceptofhersoulfabric.Thisgirlwaswovenofpuresilk,butnotofflimsysilk;therewerestrengthandsoftness--resolutenessandtenderness--awarpandwooffortheloomofnoblethings--andcharm.OftenIfeltasthoughIwereinvadingatempleinwhichIhadnoplaceascommunicant,andintowhosefanesandouterareasIshouldwishtocomereverently,withtheshoesofmygrossersoulinmyhands.Onenightshehadbeensittinginthemoonlightonthebeach,andtheseahadtalkedtoher.Whatshewrotethatnightwaspurepoetry.Ishallnottrytoreproduceitfrommyfaultymemory.Myheavymasculinehandwouldmaritsgossamerbeauty.Onemightaswellundertaketorestoretheiridescent

subtletiesofabrokenbubble.Onthisoccasionshewasthinkingofthemysteriousmanshehadsoquaintlyidealized.Hadtheluckybeggar,whoeverhewas,readthoselineshemusthavefeltthat,inthelistsoflife,thererestedonhimthesacredobligationtobearaspotlessshieldandatruelance.Shetranscribedasonetowhomthemagicanddelicatenuancesoflifearerevealed.Besidesthesepassagestherewereotherssparklingwiththemerrimentofspontaneoushumor.OurwriterwasnoLadyDolorosa.Shewasasmany-sidedandmany-huedasthediamondwhosefacetsbreaklightintocolor.Shefranklyadmittedtothesepages,intendedonlyforherself,thatshewasbeautiful,thoughshewishedthathereyeswereb

lueinsteadofgray-brown,andthathertypeweredifferent.Evidentlyshehadcutherteethoncomplimentandfedfromchildhoodonthattypeofadmirationwhichbeautyexacts.Sheseemedtobealittlehungryfortributesofadifferentanddeepersort.Inhersocietydays,asinthemoreyouthfulperiod,wefoundfrequentreferencestotheunnamedmanwhostillheldhisundeservedandparamountplaceasanidealizedpersonality;ahumantouchstonebywhichshetestedtheintrinsicnessofothermen--alwaystothedetrimentofthoseontrial.


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CHAPTERV

CHAPTERV

PREMONITIONSBECOMEREALITIES

Atlast,runningbacktothestart,wetrackedhimdownandwithhisdiscoverycamedisappointment.Ihadrealizedthatshehadbeendressingamerelay-figureingarmentsofidealizedmanhoodandendowinganunknownwithapanoplyofthechivalrictowhichhecouldprobablylaynorightfulclaim.Stillitwasdisconcertingtorealizethathehad,intheflesh,contributedabsolutelynothingtothepicture.ShehadsimplydevisedfromthewholeclothofimaginationacollaborativesumofGalahadthePureandRichardtheLion-Hearted.Shehadseenhimonlyonceinlateryears--fromthesidelinesofaYale-Harvardfootballgame.Hewasplayingwiththecrimsonandshewasattheimpressionableage.Therewasthewholeandmeagerfoundationforhisapotheosis.Shedidnotstatetheyear,butshegavethescore,andbythatIidentifiedtheoccasion.

"Idevoutlypray,"IconfidedtoyoungMansfield,"thatshenevermeetshim.Shehasfedherselfondreams.Ihopeshedoesn'twakeup."

Mansfieldpromptlytookuptheunknownhero'sdefense.Heinvariablyheldabrieffortheidealist.

"Whydoyouassumethathe'sabounder?"hedemandedalmostresentfully."Hemaybeallshethinks."

"Idon'tassumeanything,"Iretorted,"butIhappenedtoplayonthatteammyselfandIamcompelledto

admit,thoughwithchagrin,thatwehadamongusnoknightsfromArthur'sRoundTable.Warriorsofferocitywehad;younggentlemenwhoplayedthegametothelastinggloryofJohnHarvard;butthisletter-perfecttypeofchivalry,valorandgentlenesswell,I'mafraidhefailedtomaketheteam."

YourememberthestoryofBruceandthespider?Inhisermine,surroundedbyhisstalwartbarons,Robertwouldprobablyhavelearnednolessonfromtheweavingoffilmywebs.Aloneandinperil,ittaughthimhowtoconquer.Tous,aloneandinperil,thisdiaryassumedanepochalimportanceentirelyoutofkelterwithits

facevalue.

Ofcourse,thereweremanytopicswhichwemighthavediscussedtodivertourmindsfrommorbidlywatchingthecloudofimpendingmutinyspreadandgrowinky.Butthecloudwaspresentandhuman,andthediarywaspresentandhuman,andwewerepresentandhuman.Whetherornotwewerecreaturesofatrophiedbrainsanddistortedvisionisanacademicquestion.Thefactremains.Forustherewasgenuinereliefin


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turningfromthemiasmaofbroodingdoomwhichoverhungtheWastreltothespicedfragranceofthisself-revealedpersonality.Itwasacleanbreezeintoourasphyxiation.Itwasamomentaryexcursionoutofanoisomedungeonintoanold-fashionedgarden,whererosesnodandillusionsbloom.

Onesteamingnightwhendarknesshadstoppedourreading,thetwoofuswerelyingflatonourbacks--andsilent--intheenvelopingshadowsoftheforwarddecknearthecapstan.Agroupofmenwhowereoffwatchhadgatherednearus,seekingthegratefulnessoftheuninterruptedbreeze.Withnosuspicionofourproximity,theyfellintoalow-pitchedbutviolentconference.

Hoakheldthefloorasspokesman,andhisdeepwhisperingvoicewasrawwithbitterness.

"Wehain'tnobloomin'galley-slyves,"hegrowled."Blymeme,Isay,let'smakeahendo'the'olebloodymessonceandforhall."

"How?"camethenaturalquestionfromoneofthemoreconservative.


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CHAPTERV

"'Ow?"retortedtheringleader,"W'at'stheodds'ow?Anywaywilldo.Rushthecabin.There'sastandofriflesatthefor'ardbulkhead.Killhoffthebloodylotofhofficers.Navigatethebloomin'ole'ookerbackourselvesandreportwhateverdamnthingwelike."

"Howaboutthesepassengers?They'dsnitch,"suggestedthesamequestioner.

"Awno,"sarcasticallyassuredHoak,"theywon'tsnitch.Theywon't'avenomorecharncetosnitchthanCoulter'isself--damn'im."

ForamomentIfeltasteamingthrobinmythroat.Thencameanewsensation,somethinglikereliefthatatlasttheclearoutlinewasloomingthroughthefogofmaddeninguncertainty.Itdidnotseemtomattersomuchwhatthecertaintywas,solongasitbroughtanendtothesuspense.Therewassomediscussioninhushedvoices.Cautionhaditsadvocateswhoopposedsodesperateacourse.

"Thinkithovertillto-morrow,"saidHoakatlast."Buthifyoudon'tstandby

meHi'mgoingtocutlooseaboatandtyketothewater.To'ellwiththeWastrelan'herrotterofacaptain."

Therewasasuddenhushfollowedbyasortoflowchorusedgroan.AroundthesuperstructureoftheforwardcabinappearedCaptainCoulter,hisfirstofficerandthechiefengineer.Foraninstanttheystoodsilently,flashingelectrictorchesintotheterrifiedfacesoftheconspiratorswho,likeschoolboyscaughtdenouncingtheirteacher,shuffledtheirfeetandremainedspeechless.

Hoak,alone,tookastepforward.Hisfacewasworkingspasmodicallyinthebull

's-eyeglarewhichexaggeratedthehighlightsonhissnarlingteethandtheblackshadowsofhisscowl.HewaveredforaninstantbetweenhispersonaldreadofCoulter,andtheknowledgethat,withsomuchalreadyknown,cautionwasfutile.Whilehehesitatedtheothermentacitlygroupedthemselvestogetherathisbackandstoodsullenlyeyingtheofficers.Coulterandhistwosubordinatesslippedtheirhandsintotheirpockets.Itwasatensemomentandanoiselessone.Whenthecaptainbrokesilencehisvoicewascool,almostcasual.

"Mr.Kirkenhead,"heorderedthechiefengineer,"takethismanHoaktothestok

ehold,andkeephimthereuntilwereachport.Givehimdoubleshiftandifhemakesafalsemove--killhim."

Thegiantmadeapassionatestartforward,andfoundhimselflookingdownthebarrelofCoulter'smagazinepistol.Fromtheglintoftheraisedweaponhebouncedbackwardagainsttherail,whereheleanedincoherentlysnarlinglikeacornereddog.


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"Hididn'tsignasnoblymedstoker,"hegrowledatlast."Hiwon'tgo----"

"Thestokeholdorhell,it'suptoyou."Coulter'sreplycameinanabsolutemonotonyofvoicestrangelyatvariancewiththepassionatestressoftheirlaboredbreathing.Backofthetableaugleamedthephosphorescenceoftheplacidsea."There'sthirtysecondstodecide.Mr.Kirkenhead,lookatyourwatch."

Foraseemingeternitytherewaswaitingandbatedbreath.Wecouldhearthemuffledthroboftheengines,andthechurningofthescrews.

ThenKirkenheadannounced,"Twentyseconds,sir."

AmomentmoreandHoakturned,droppinghisheadinutterdejectionandshambledafttowardtheengine-roomcompanionway.

"Mr.Heffernan,"camethecaptain'sstaccatoorders,"instructtheship'scarpentertoscuttlealltheboats,excepttheportandstarboardonesonthebridge.Ifwearetohaveanylittledisagreementsonboardwewill


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tingdreamsforanhour,Islippedoutofmineandcrepttothefresherairofthedeck.

WhenIreturnedtothecabin,stillobsessedwithrestlesswakefulness,Ifoundthediary,andthrowingmyselfintomybunk,spentstillanotherhourinitsperusal.IhadlongagolaidbymyearlyscruplesandnowIfoundinitspagesaqualitystrangelysoothing.

Singularlyenough,inallourfragmentaryreadingbetweentheselimpcovers,wehadneverpursuedanyconsecutivecourseandthoughcertainpassageshadbeenre-readuntilIfancybothofuscouldhavequotedthemfrommemory,therestillremainedothersuponwhichwehadnottouched.Formeinmypresentconditionofjumpingnervestheyofferedfieldsofquietingexploration.Now,foratime,Iskippedabout,readinghereandtherepassagesinnowayconnected.TherewasahighlyhumorousdescriptionofacertainFrenchmanwhohadinsistentlyshadowedthecourseofthegirl'stravelsabouttheContinent,inflictingonheranhomagewhichitseemedtomemusthavebeenmoreoffensivethanactualrudeness.Shedidnotgivehisname,butherdescriptionofhisappearanceandeccentricitieswassodrolland

keenlyappreciativethatevenmystrainedlipscurledintoagrinofenjoymentintheperusal.Hehadacoronettobestowandshelikenedhisattitudeandbearingtothatofacrestedcockrobin."To-night,"shewrote,"monsieurlecomteproposedfor


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CHAPTERV

myhand--toMother.Iwasinthenextroomandheardit.Tohearone'sselfproposedtobyproxyisquitethemostamusingthingthatcanhappen.WhenheasksmeIshallinformhimthatI'vealreadygivenmyhearttoanotherman--amanwhohasn'taskedmeandmayneveraskme.Yes,hewill,too.Hemust.Itisinmyhoroscope.'TheHeavensrolledbetweenusattheend,weshallbutvowthefasterforthestars.'ThislittleFrenchmanneedsanheiressanditmightaswellbeme--butitwon'tbe."

Thiswasthefirstintimationthattheunknownauthorofthesepageswaspossessedofwealthaswellasbeauty.InavaguewayIfoundmyselfregrettingthediscovery,althoughIcouldnotsaywhy.Throughthesepagesbreathedthedistinctionofapiquantandsubtlycharmingpersonality--thefactthatshehadfortuneaswell,couldaddnothing.ButasIreadtheparagraphsdevotedtoherodysseyacrossthecontinentandaroundthebordersoftheMediterranean,shadowedalwaysbythispersistentsuitorwithhispicayunetitle,itstruckmethatheritineraryandtheorderofhergoingtalliedwithmyownwanderings.

Yetthatmighthavenosignificance,sincetheroutesofEuropeantouringaredistressinglydevoidofvariation.

ThefingerofdestinyhadseemedtoconcernitselfinthefashioninwhichIhadalwaysjustmissedtheladyofNaples,MonteCarloandCairobyamarginofsecondsandofuntowardcircumstance.IfmyFatewereplayingwithmeinthismanneritappearedconsistentwithitspolicyoftantalizingevasivenessthatsheandthewritermightbethesame.WhenIhadgivenupthepursuitandcomeawaytothisremotequarteroftheglobeitmightstillbedecreedthatIshouldnotescapeherinfluence.

Havingskippedaboutforatimeinsuchhaphazardfashion,theideaseizedmeofgoingbacktothebeginningandreadingfromthecommencementdowntothepresent.

InthefirstpagesofcourseIencounteredacertainimmaturecrudityofcompositionandyet,inspiteofthesethings,therewasmuchhereofthecharmingfascinationofchildhoodandthebeginningsofcharacter.Ifthelatersectionswereasfragrantasflowers,theearlierpassageswereliketheannalsofrosebudsandblossoms.IbelieveIhavealreadymentionedthatinherchildhoodshehadbeensomethingofatomboy.Herinterestshad

seemedtoincludemanythingswhichmightquitenaturallyhavebelongedtotheenthusiasmsofherbrothers.Alsoonereadbetweenthelinesthathercharmingsenseofhumorandself-containmenthaddevelopeduponovercometendenciestowardpassionatetemper.Acertainpassagehadtodowithherexperienceatagirls'boarding-schoolwhenshewasprobablynotmorethantenoreleven.Oneoftheteachers--anunimpeachableladyofgreatlearningandlittlehumanperception,itwouldseem--hadarousedherintensedisfavor.There


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werevariousreferencestothisfeudandalso,evensoearly,tothemysteriouspersonvaguelyalludedtoasHe.Theprincipaloftheschoolharboredabullterrierofratheruncertaintemper.Thisbrute,savefortotalfealtytohismistressandtothewriterofthediary,seemedtoholdinhisnatureonlydistrustforhumanity,andamongthosespeciallysingledoutforhisantipathywastheaforementionedteacher.

Onedaythewriterandthedoghadmetthepreceptressontheavenue.Thegirlhadsetdownwithgreatglee,theterrorwithwhichherenemyhadappealedtoherforprotectionagainsttheonslaughtsofthedreadedCerberus.

"ItoldherthatIwouldholdhim,"naivelyrelatedtheentry,inasprawling,childishhand,"andIdidholdhimuntilshewasalmostatthegate--butwhenIlethimgoIgavehimalittlesoundadviceandhetookit."

Therefollowedavividdescription,doneintomirth-provokinghumor,ofthesomewhatstrenuouseventsofthenexttwentyorthirtyseconds.Asectionofblackalpacaskirtremainedwiththedogasamemento.

"Ofcourse,"commentedthewriter,"Icouldn'tlaughfreelyuntilIgotbacktothehouse,butIamlaughingnow.Shelookedsoabsurd!AsIcameinIsawHimridebyonhorseback.I'mafraidhewouldn'tapprove."

ThedescriptionofthatteacherhadremindedmestronglyofmygoodAuntSarah.Theexplanationthatthedoghadbeenthechild'sfriendmerelybecauseshehadrefusedtobeafraid,wassoconvincinglyputthatI


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CHAPTERV

foundmyselfinguiltyaccordwithherpointofview.Inadozenways,despitethissingleinstance,sheshowedthatherpityandtendernesswereverygenuineandsensitive,andeasilyreachedbyanytrueappeal.

Thisgoingbacktothebeginningenabledmetomeet,ontheoccasionofhisfirstappearance,themanwhohadexercisedsuchastronginfluenceuponhersubsequentlife.InthisIwaspleased,foritshowedthathoweverimaginarymayhavebeenhisauraofideality,nonethelessithadbasisinsomethingmoresubstantialthanaglimpseofafootballgame.Therewas,too,anelementtouchingandalmostpatheticinthisearliestself-confessedlove.Hewaswhenshefirstsawhim,eighteenornineteen,andshehalfasold.Thisdisparityinagehadputachasmbetweenthemwhichitdidnotoccurtoherthattheyearswouldbridge.Hewasjustatthatself-sufficientage,whenheregardedhimselfasverymuchamanandshort-skirted,pigtailedfemalesasveryfarbeneathhismaturedevotion.Yet,inhispatronizingway,hehadbeendecentlykindand

hadjeopardizedhisstandingasaman-of-the-worldbyimpersonalcourtesiestoalittlegirl.Hisinfluencehadaccordinglygrownstrongandpermanent,thoughhehadnotknownofitsexistence.Shehadenviouslywatchedhimwithgirlsafewyearsherseniorandhadadmiredhisfrank,sportsmanlikeattitudeandfreedomfromcallowfreshness--andhiscourage.Shesaidquitefranklyinthediarythatshedidnotsupposehehadrememberedheratall.

Andso,asIlaysleeplessandoppressedbypresentimentofdisaster,Ireadfromchildhoodtoyoungwomanhoodherchronicleofidealsuntil,underthesoothingofthedocument,Ia

tlastfellintoadoze.


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CHAPTERVI

CHAPTERVI

THEENDOFTHE"WASTREL"

Whensleepcametomeitwasfitfulwithathousandnightmareimpossibilities,Isaw,inmydreams,thefaceofthestaleseaandskytranslatedintoabroadhumanvisageparalyzedandsmilingunendinglyinthathideousgrinwhichstampsthetorturedteethofthelockjawvictim.ThenthemonsterofthedreambrokeoutofitsfixityandwithashriekofhurricanesaimedaterrificblowattheprowoftheWastrel.Theshipshivered,trembledandcollapsed.WithastifledgaspIwoke.Oursicklylanternwasgutteringinasootystreamofsmoke.YoungMansfieldstoodinthecenterofthecabinbucklinghispistolbelt.Fromsomewherecameasoundofrushingwaterandamedleyofshoutsandoathsandpistolshots.Adingyratscuttledwildlyoutfrombetweenmyfeetandwhiskedawaythroughthecrackunderourbolteddoor.WhileIstoodtherestupidlyinactive,hardlyasyetuntanglingfactanddream,Mansfieldhandedmemybelta

ndrevolver.

"Sliponyourshoesandfetchalongalife-belt,"hecommandedsteadily."Ithascome."

Wejerkedopenthedoorandgropedalongthealley-wayindarkness,and,asweguidedourstepswithhandsfumblingthewalls,waterwashedaboutourankles.Thelightstherehadgoneout.WithoneguidinghandonthewallandoneonMansfield'sshoulder,Imademylaboredwaytowardthedeckladder.

Withoutawordandasofright,theyoungEnglishman,whohadheretoforelacked

initiative,nowassumedcommandofouraffairs.Weneedednoexplanationtotellusthatthepandemoniumwhichreignedabovewasnotmerelytheresultofmutiny.Ahundredpatentthingstestifiedthatthisshamblingtrampoftheseashadreceivedamortalhurt.Thestenchofbilgesickenedusastherisingwaterinherhullforceduptheheavyandfetidgases.Thewallsthemselveswereaslantunderadizzycareeningtostarboard.

Shemusthavesteamedfullfrontontoasubmergedreefanddestruction.Itwaspalpablynomatterofanopeningseam.Shehadbeentornandrippedinhervitals.Shewasdyingfastand

ininanimateagony.Inthericketyengine-roomsomethinghadburstlooseunderthestrain.Nowasshesankandreeledtherecameahissingofsteam;agasping,coughing,hammeringconvulsionofpistons,rodsanddrivingshafts,suddenlyturnedintoajunkheaprunningamuck.

Itisquestionablewhethertherewouldhavebeentimetolowerawayboatshadthemostperfectdisciplineandheroismprevailed.Therewasnodiscipline.Therewerenoavailableboats,excep


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tthetwohangingfromthebridgedavits,andaboutthem,aswestumbledoutonthedecks,ragedafiercebattleofextermination,asmen,relapsedtobrutes,foughtforsurvival.

Ihavesincethatnightoftenandvainlyattemptedtogobackoverthatholocaustandarrangeitsdetailsinsomesortofchronology.Isawsuchferocityandconfusion,turningthedeckintoashamblesinaninconceivablyshortspace,thatevennowIcannotsayinwhatsequencethesethingshappened.Ihaveajumbledpictureinwhichcertainunimportantdetailsstandoutdistinctlywhilegreatthingsarevague.Icanstillsee,insteel-blackrelief,thesilhouettedsuperstructure,funnelsandstanchions;theindigoshadowsandghostlyspotsofwhiteunderalow-swinginghalf-moonandlargesoftly-glowingstars.Theskywasclearandsmiling,intherisorsardonicusofmydream.

Ihavesometimesfeltthatallthedifferencebetweenthecourageousandcravenliesinthechanceoftheinstantwithwhichthenumbersfallonthediceoflife.To-day'scowardmaybeto-morrow'shero.Foraninstant,withanunspeakablebabelinmyearsandapictureofhumanbattleinm

yeyes,Iknewonlythechaoticconfusionthatcomesofpanic.ThenIcaughtaglimpseofonedetailandallphysicalfearfellawayfromme.Ifoundmyselfconsciousonlyofcontemptforthestruggling,clawingterrorofthesemenwhowereasreasonlessandineffectiveasstampedingcattle.ThedetailwhichsteadiedmelikeacoldshowerwasthecalmnessofyoungMansfieldashewaitedatmyside,hisfaceasimpersonallypuzzledasthoughhewere


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CHAPTERVI

studyinginsomemuseumcabinetanewandstrangespecimenofanthropologicalinterest.

Webothstoodintheshadowoftheforwardsuperstructureasyetunseen.Alltheferocityoffinalcrisisswirledandeddiedaboutthebridgeuponwhichwelookedasmeninorchestrachairsmightlookacrossthefootlightsonastagesetformelodrama.ApparentlythecrewhadalreadydiscoveredtoitsowndespairthatCoulter'sinhumanordersforscuttlingtheboatshadbeencarriedout,andthatofalltheemergencycraftcarriedbytheWastrel,onlythoseridiculouslyinsufficientoneshangingbytheportandstarboardlightsofthebridgeofferedachanceofescape.Atallevents,theotherboatshungneglectedandunmanned.Thatthewholequestionwasoneofminuteswasanunescapableconclusion.Onecouldalmostfeelthesettlingofthecrazy,rupturedhullasthemomentspassedandeachtimeIturnedmyheadtoglancebackwithafascinatedimpulseatthesmoke-stackIcouldseethatitslinetiltedfurtherfromthevertical.

Heffernanwasinchargeofthestarboardboat,alreadybeginningtorundownitslines,andoverthatontheportside,Coulterhimselfheldcommand.

Itseemedthatwhenthemomentoffinalissuecame,afewoftheforemastmenhadpreferredentrustingtheirchancestoobeyingthecaptain,whoseeffectivenesshadbeenproven,tocastingtheirlotswiththeirmates.Thesewerebusyatthetackle.Onthedecklevelhowledandfoughtthemutineers.Alreadycorpseswereclutteringthespaceatthefootofthesteepladderthatgave--anddenied--accesstothebridge.Probablythe

revolvershotswehadheardaswegropedourwayfromourcabinhadbeenthechiefofficer'sterseresponsetothefirstmadrushforthatstairway.Nowasheawaitedtheloweringaway,Coulterstoodabove,lookingdownonthesickeningconfusionwithagrimexpressionwhichwasalmostamusement.Thefightingwentonbelowwherethefrantic,terror-strickenfellowsswarmedandgrappledandswayedanddisabledeachotherintheefforttogaintheladder.Butwhensomeoneroseoutofthemaelstromandstruggledupwarditwasonlytobeknockedbackbytheax,uponwhich,inthebriefintervalsbetweenassaults,Coulterleanedcontemplatingthebattle-royal.Therevolverhehadputbackinhispocket.Itwasnotneeded,

andhewasconservingitseffectivenessforanothermoment.

Intellingit,thepictureseemsclearenough,butintheseeing,itwasathingofhorribleandtangleddetails,enactedasswiftlyasamoving-picturefilmruntoorapidlyonitsreel.

Therewereshoutsandquickstaccatoorderspiercingtheblendingofterrorizedvoices--anoathsnappedout--ashriek--astrugglingmass--adesperaterunuptheladder--handsstrainingaloft


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topulldowntheclimberandcleartheway--aswiftblowfromabove,athudonthedeckbelow--asickeningvisionofslaughter.Overitallpoundedthehammeringracketfromthedisorganizedengines.Sooncamethestenchofsmokeandoutofoneoftheafterhatchesmountedathintongueoforangeflame,snappingandsputteringvengefullyforamoment,thenleapingupwithasuddenlyaugmentedroar.Thetwinelementsofdestruction,waterandfire,werevyingintheworkofannihilation.

Iturnedmyheadforaninstanttolookbackatthenewmenace,andclutchedMansfield'sarm.Aloofwithfoldedarmsagainsttherail,makingnoefforttoparticipateintheriot,stoodyoungLawrence.Thefast-spreadingflameslituphisface.Hisattitudeandexpressionwerethoseofquietdisgust.Hislipsweresetinscornforthesuperlativeexcitementofhisfellows.Hewasthestoicawaitingtheend,withasmileofwelcomefortheacidtestwhichheld,forhim,nofear.Itwasasthoughtherisingrimofwaterbroughtapromiseofgratefulrest.HesawaheadnothingexceptreleasefromallthewildturmoilandmiserywhichhadspokenitselfwithoutwordsthateveningwhenCoulterhadsilencedtheimprovisa

tionofhisviolin.

ButiftheendwasathingofquietphilosophytoLawrence,itwasnotsotoothers.Theluridflare,whichturnedtheimpassionedpictureinamomentfromasilhouetteofblacksandcobaltstoacrimsonhell,seemedtoinflametogreatermadnessmenalreadymad.Therewasarushfortherails.Wesawfiguresleapingintothesea.Therehadbeensomehitchonthebridge,duenodoubttothemiserableconditionofeverythingaboardthedisheveledtramp.Theboatswerenotyetlaunched,butnowthemenwereembarking.Coulter


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CHAPTERVI

himselfwasthelasttoleapfortheswingingboat,andamomentbeforehedidsoHoakappeared.Hehadmiraculouslymadehiswayaliveoutoftheengine-room'sinferno,andhiscomingwasthatofamaniac.Hishugebody,baretothewaist,sweat-streakedandsoot-blackenedandfire-blistered,wasalsodarkwithblood.Hisvoicewasraisedindementedlaughterandeveryvestigeofreasonhaddesertedeyesthatwerenowagleamonlywithhomicidalmania.Fromthecompanionwaytothebridge,hiscoursewasasswiftandsureasahomingpigeon's.Hebrandishedtheshovelwithwhichhehadbeenshamefullyforcedtofeedthemawsofthefurnaces.Thestrugglingmenfellbackbeforehisonslaught.ButHoakhadnocareforself-preservation.Hissolemissionwasreprisal.

Thefightabouttheladder'sfoothadwaned.Withaleapthatcarriedhimhalf-wayupandanagilitythatknewnothwartingthemadmanmadetheupperlevel.Thetyrannicaldespotofthevessel,standingpoisedforhisswingtotheboatraisedthepistolwhichhadalreadyhaltedothermadrushesdu

ringthelastsanguinaryminutes.AtitsbarkHoakstaggeredtohisknees,butwasupagainandchargingforwardwiththeimpetusofawoundedrhinoceros.Hehadonedeedtodobeforehediedandwouldnotbedenied.Theflyingshovelnarrowlymissedthecaptain'sheadashejumpedfortheboat,buttheseamanwithhislipspartedoverthesnarlofclenchedteethfoughthispainfulwaytothedavit,grippingaknifewhichhehadbroughtinhisbelt.Hiseyesglowedwiththestrangelightthatmadnesslendsandhismusclesweretensedinthebriefexaggeratedstrengthofasupremeeffort.Hehurledhimselftotheout-swungsupportandseizingthestern

linebeganhackingatitstarredtautnessashebellowedghastlylaughterandblasphemies.Coulterfromhisplacebelowsenttwomorebulletsintothegreathulkoffleshthathungtenaciouslyandmenacinglyabovehim,but,asthesecondspatout,therope,nonetoogoodatbest,partedandtheboat,heldonlybyitsbowline,swungdownwithamightysnap,spillingitsoccupantsintothesealikeapplestossedfromanoverturnedplate.Wehadamomentaryglimpseofthecaptainclingingtothegunwale,hislegslashingoutflail-like.Thenhisholdloosenedandhefellwithasplashintothephosphoruswaterwherethesharkswerealreadygathering.Andatthesamemoment,hismissionperformed,Hoakslowlyslidaroundthecurvi

ngdavitanddroppedlimplyafterhim.

YoungMansfield'svoicecamevaguelytomyear."They'veoverlookedthelife-raft,"hesaid."Let'shaveatryatthat.There'snotmuchtimenow."

Thestarboardscupperswerelettinginseawaterandtheflameswerecreepingclose,asweturnedtogether,holdingtotheshadowsofthesuperstructure,andranforward.


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Weweretearingourfingersrawoverstiffenedknotswhenarushoffeetinterruptedus.ThenextinstantIsawmycompanionlashingoutwiththebuttofhispistol,andsurroundedbyaquartetteofassailants.Inthemoonlightheloomedgiganticandheroicofproportion.I,too,wassurroundedandconsciousonlyofawildnewelationandbattle-lust,asIfought.

Suddenlytherecameaterrificshock,precededbyawildlyscreaminghissinthebowelsoftheWastrel'shull.Thetornshellquiveredinaninsensatedeath-rattle,andunderadetonationatoncehollowandloudamassoftimbersshotupwardamidships.Theboilershadletgoandwehungwaveringforthefinalplunge,yetitdidnotcomeatonce.ThenIsupposeIwasstruckbyfallingdbris.Withadizzysenseofstarsdancingaslawlesslyasrocketsparksanddyingasquicklyintoblackness,Ilostallholdonconsciousness.


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CHAPTERVII

CHAPTERVII

INSTRANGECIRCUMSTANCES.

Pongeepajamasandarevolverbeltconstitutealightequipmentevenforthetropics,butthatwastheleastpressingofmyconcerns.

HowlongIhadremainedinsensibleIcanonlyestimate,butoftentherecomebacktome,fromthattime,wraith-likeshredsofmemoryinwhichIseemtohavedrifteddownthecenturies.Irecallforonethingastunnedandthrobbingachingbackoftheeyesandahalf-consciousgazingupatrockingstars.

Atallevents,whenrationalunderstandingreturnedtome,thesunwasglaringinsufferablyfromascorchedzenith.IbegantopatchtogetherfragmentsofmemoryandtocallloudlyforMansfield.Therewasnoanswer,andwhenIattemptedtoriseIfoundmyselfroughlylashedtothelife-raftbyseveralturnsofalinesotightly

drawnthatthesensorynervesinmylegsgavenoresponsetomymovements.

Mysupportwasrockinginitslodgmentbetweentwoweed-trailingboulders,stainedlikeverdigrisandlickedsmoothbythelappingofthesea.Offtomyfrontstretchedwaters,soquietthattheyseemedalmosttideless,thoughatadistanceIcouldheartherunningofsurf.Tolookbehindinvolvedapainfultwistingofmyneck,butImadetheeffort,andwasrewardedwiththesightofland.Aquarterofamileawaysmoothreachesofwhitesandmetthewaterinagraciouslyinvitingbeach.Beyonditandmountingupwardfrompalmfringetosnow-caprosetheveryrespectableproportionsofavolcanicisland.Thecoralr

ockswhichhadcaughtmyraftwereoutpostsofmanyothersthatwenttroopingshoreward,breaking,hereandthere,thesurfaceofjade-greenshallows.

Fromthedeepturquoiseoftheouterseatothewhiterimofthesandsranagamutofcolorfulbeauty.Themountain,assymmetricallyconedasFuji-yama,stoodoveritallingravedominance.Offtotheleftsponge-likecliffsbrokesteeplyupwardfromthelevelofthebeachandabouttheircleftscircledendlessflightsofgulls.ThereIknewtherisingtidewouldthunderandbreakitselftopiecesinathousandplumesof

spray.

ButhowhadIreachedthisplaceandwhathadbecomeofMansfield?Itmusthavebeenhewhohadlashedmetotheraft.FromnooneelseontheWastrelcouldIhaveexpectedbettertreatmentthan"acutlassswipeoranounceoflead."Palpably,hehademergedfromthebattlevictor,and,saveformyself,solesurvivor.Iconjecturedthatwhenhehadfloatedtheraftfromthepartlysubmergeddeck,hehadfoundthesparkoflife


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stilllurkinginmypulsesandhadmademefastuponitstimbers.Perhapsanover-trustinhisabilitytoremainafloathadmadehimlesscarefulofhimself.Possiblyhehadlostconsciousnessaswedriftedandhadbeenwashedover-side,tofallpreytotheprowlingsharks.Icouldnothopetoknowwhathisendhadbeen,butIwishedthatImighthaveshareditwithhim.

Ifumbledatthesoakedknotsofmyropewithfingersthathadgrownnumb.When,atlast,Iwasfreeandhadtosomeextentrestoredthecirculationinmystagnantveins,Ibeganthetaskoffreeingmyoarlesscraftfromitswedgedpositionsothattheinsettingtidemightcarrymetotheshore.

Inthepocketofmypajamajacket,soakedwithsaltwaterandalmostreducedtoapulp,IfoundtheletterwhichIstoodchargedtodelivertothegirlinSussex.Ilaughed.IknewthatIwasnotinrealitythesolitarysurvivoroftheWastrel.Iwasmerelythelatestsurvivor.Iwastodiemoreslowlythanmyfellows.Thissun,attheendofmylingering,wouldbeatdownonmybones,whitened,disjointedandperhapsvulture-plucked.Therevolverinmybeltwasalreadycloudingintoredrustunderthewashingofthenight'ssaltwater.I

experimentallyturnedthecylinderandfoundthatthecorrosionhadnotyetattackedthemechanism.Onecartridgecouldcheatmysentenceofslowdeath,yetIdidnotfiretheshot.


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CHAPTERVII

LifehadheretoforebeenathingIwouldhavewillinglysurrendered.Now,Ifoundmyselfstandingprecariouslyonthenarrowandveryslipperyedgeofexistence,andwithDeathadvancingonmeInolongerwishedtodie.Theveryoddsagainstmebroughtadoggeddesiretoclinguntilmyfeetshouldslipandmyfingerscouldnolongerholdtheirlife-grip.MeantimeIshouldprobablygomad,butthatlayhereafter.AtpresentIhadonlytowaitforthetide.SinceIcouldnothurrytheoceanpulse,Imustlietherethinking.

FromtheseaIcouldlookforrescueonlybyamiracle.WhathadbeenCoulter'scourseordestinationhehadnotconfided,butIknewthatwehadfordaysbeeninimperfectlychartedwaterswhereourscrewshadperhapskickedupavirginwake.Wehadpassedatollsmarked,onthechart,P.D.andevenE.D.("positiondoubtful"and"existencedoubtful"),andtohopethatsomeotherwanderermightshortlyfollowwouldbetaxingcoincidencetoofar.

OnlyGodknewwhattypeofhuman,animalandreptilianlifetheislandheld.Icouldviewitacrosstheaccursedlybeautifulwaterwayandspeculateuponitsnature,butIcouldbeatupnoconfidenceinitstreatmentofme.Itsaspectwouldhavebeenmagnificenthaditslushgreenerynotwrappedandsoftenedeverycommandingcragandangle,butitwasalovelinesswhichsuggestedtreacherousmenace;thedeceptivebeautyofthepantherorofthesoft-glidingsnakethatcharmsitspreytodeath.

Isolationherewouldsapmymentalessenceandatrophymybrain,unlesssomedevicecouldbefoundby

whichIcouldside-focusanddivertmytrendofthought.Evenhadtheyounggirl'sdiaryremainedtome,ImightbyithavekeptmyselfremindedoflifeinthosecivilizedspotswhichIcouldhardlyhopetorevisit;andsoImightdiesane.Asinglebookwouldhavehelped.Ihadbeencreditedwithasenseoftheludicroussowhimsicalastobealmostirresponsible.IfnowIcouldinvokethatfacetiousqualitytomysalvationImighthopetoberegardedasaconsistenthumorist.

AtlengthIsawthatthetidewassettingin,carryingmyraftwithit,andrealizedthatIwashungry.WhenIhadoncemoreundermyfeetthefeelofsolidearth,thesunwashangingnearth

esnow-cappedcraterofthevolcano.Ileftforto-morrowallproblemsofexploration,andstrippingtotheskin,ranupanddownthesoftsandofthebeachuntilthebloodwasoncemorepulsingregularlythroughmynakedbody.ThenonhandsandkneesIpursuedanddevourednumbersoftheunpalatablecrabsthatscuttledtohidingunderslimytanglesofseaweed.Mythroatwashotandstickywiththeparchofthirst,butasnightfellthejunglebegantoloomdarkly,aforbiddinghinterland,andnofreshwatercamedowntomybeach.


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Themeltingsnowwasaguaranteeofspringsandamancanendurethreedayswithoutdrinkingifhemust.Istretchedmyselfbetweentwolargerocksjustupwardofthehigh-tideline,cursingstoutCortezandallthoseperniciouslyactivesoulswhoinsistedondiscoveringthePacificOcean.

Sleepdidnotatoncecometomyrelief.Isawthestars,closeandlustrous,paradeacrossthenight,andinsteadofplanningwhileIlayawakepracticalthingsforthemorrow,asagoodwoodsmanmighthavedone,Iwasthinkingfutilelyofthepsychologicalfeaturesofmypredicament.Possiblythedoctor'spredictionofinsanityhadlaindormantinsomebraincellfromwhichitwasnowemergingtofrightenme.Ifearedlessforthehungerofmybodythanfortheimpossibilityoffeedingmymind.Itoccurredtomethatkeepingarecordofmyemotionswouldatonceservetofightbackatrophyandleaveaninterestingrecordforthosewhomight,butalmostcertainlywouldnot,comeinafterdaystotheisland.ThenIrecalledthatinmypenlessandpaperlessplightIwasasfarfromthepossibilityofwritingasfromthepowertoringforataxicabanddrivehome.

Yettheideaofadiaryfascinatedme.Iwishedtowriteinfranknesswhatitfeltliketodieatthefootofanundiscoveredvolcano.TherecametomymindanexampleIwishedtoemulate.IhadcomeuponareportmadepublicbytheNavalDepartmentofJapaninwhichwasquotedaletterwrittenbyLieutenantSakuma,fromthebottomofHiroshimaBay,wherehissubmarinehadstruckandfailedtoriseagain.


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CHAPTERVII

Mostofhiscrewlaydeadinthesunkenvessel,andhehimselfwasslowlyandpainfullysuccumbingtostrangulation.HedevotedtoanoteofapologyaddressedtohisEmperorthosehoursspentindying,andexpressedthehopethathismessagemight,infuture,beofvalueintheavoidanceofsimilarfatalities.Hepraisedthegallantryofhissubordinates.

Theletter,readintheMikado'spalaceaweeklater,whenthesubmarinehadbeenraisedwithitsdead,wasinthestoicstyleoftheraceandseverelyofficial.Itculminatedinabrokensentence.

"Itisnow12:30P.M.Mybreathingissodifficultandpainful--IthoughtIcouldblowoutgasolinebutIamintoxicatedwithit--CaptainNakano--itisnow12:40P.M.--I----"

Thereitended.ItseemedtomethatifIcouldbusymyselfinfaintduplicate,withsohumanarecordofapproachingtheferry,Icouldbeinameasureconsoled.ThengazingattheSouthernCross,beforesleep

broughtrespite,IfoundmyselfthinkingoncemoreoftheelusiveladywhohadsooftenescapedmyinquisitiveglanceandwhosefaceIshouldnowneversee.


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CHAPTERVIII

CHAPTERVIII

NATUREINDULGESINSATIRE

ThoughIamnotgivingauthorshiptothisnarrativewithaviewtoitsgeneralperusal,Iamdeterminedsotowriteitthatifothereyesdochanceuponittheymayreadthetruerecordsofaman'semotionsunderthosecircumstances.

IshallneverbeabletocoaxmyselfintoanyillusionofheroisminmyadventuresandIshallsetdownmymostabjectterrorsinequalandimpartialdegreewiththefewoccasionsinwhichtheinstinctofself-preservationenabledmetorisetotheneedandbluffmagnificently.

ThecaseofthesubmarinecommanderofNipponwasdifferent.HewishedtoleavebehindhimsuchamessageasanEmperormightread,andwithexalteddevotiontohisobject,heleftit.Still,hadsomemiraclebroughthisvesseltothesurfacebeforetheend,whoknowsbutthat,inthecon

fessionalofhisownmemory,hemighthaveacknowledgedaverydeliriumofterror?Whoknowsbutthatbetweentheperiodofoneunflinchingparagraphandthecapitalofthenext,theremayhavebeenintervalsofwallowinginthetroughofphysicaldespair?

Atleastwithmethereweremanyfears.Thenightwentbyaroadofnightmareandthirstwhichledtonohavenofrest.Isleptfitfullyandinterror,andawokeatitsendtoafeelingofexhaustion.ForawhileIdreadedtoriseandfacethepossibilitiesofanewday.Itwasonlytheburningtortureofthirstthatfinally

outweighedpanicanddrovemeinsearchofwater.Iheldtimidlytotheshore,distrustingthejungleanddodgingfurtivelyfromrocktorock,withstrainingeyesandears.Climbingamongtheraggedboulderswhichwerestrewnlikefragmentsoffallenmasonryatthefootofthecliff,Ishortlycameuponathreadofclearwater,whereIlayandslakedmythirst.Afterthatcamearenewedfreshnessandasuddenreturnofvigor.Ibeganalsotofeelahealthfulhunger,andwhen,inclamberingtothetopofasteeprock,Ifrightenedashriekinggullfromhernest,Ifellavidlyontheeggssheleftbehind.

Asthesunclimbed,atepidhumidityfreightedtheair,butthetrade-wind,risi

ngsteadilyandfreshly,tempereditandstirredthedelicatefrondsofpalmandfern.

Thecliffwashoneycombedwithsmallirregularcavernsandrifts.Someweremeregrottoes,butotherswentbackintosomberrecessesdeeperthanI,withnomeansoflightingmysteps,caredtoexplore.FormydwellingplaceIselectedonethatbroadenedfromatwistedandnarrowfissuretoacrudechamberlargeenoughforawolf'sden,oratneedaman'srefuge.Afern-fringedbrooklettric


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kledacrosstheopening.

FormydooryardIhadasmallplateauwithasheerwallofcliffatmybackandasteepdropatthefront.Onemustclimbtoreachtheplacewhichisanadvantagewherethetenantmaydesiretorollstonesdownupontheheadsofhisvisitors.

TheWastrelmusthavegonetothebottomnearby,forincomingtidesfromtimetotimedepositedonmyshorestrangeandsatiricalscrapsofflotsam.Thesardonichumoroftheseamockedmebydeliveringonmybeachatatteredfragmentofoldnewspaperandanemptybiscuittin.

ItwastwodaysaftermyarrivalthatIdiscoveredsomebulkythinglodged,asmyrafthadbeen,uponthenear-byrocks.Thetwodayshadtolduponme.Mypajamaswereinribbons;mycanvasshoestorn,andmyfleshbruised.Myfeet,too,werecutandblisteredandmyhandsraw.IhadalreadytiredoftalkingaloudtomyselfandmoreandmoreoftenIcaughtmyselfturningwithasuddenstarttopeerapprehensivelyatthefringeoftheforest.Tomygrowingmorbidnessitseemedthatoverthebeautyoftheplacehungan

impalpablebutcertaincurse.Iwadedouteagerlytothefreshbitofsalvageandfoundaseaman'schestwithquaintlyknottedhandlesoftarredrope.Itwasofstoutworkmanshipanditsheavylocksandhingeshad


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CHAPTERVIII

enduredwithoutinjurythebuffetingofthesea.ThenameofJ.H.Lawrencestilllegibleupononeendbroughtbackwithstartlingvividnessthememoryofamanwaitingwithstoicalamusementthecomingofdeath.LaboriouslyenoughIdraggeditin,haltingoftentopantandwipethesweatoutofmyeyeswithmyforearm.

ThesunwassinkingovertheshoulderofthemountainwhenIatlastarrived,exhaustedbutstilltuggingatmyprize,upontheplateauofmycliffapartment.Ilayalongwhile,myheartpoundingwithexertion,beforeIwasequaltothetaskofattackingitslockwithastoneandmysheathknife,andafterthatitwassomemomentsbeforethelockyieldedandIraisedtheheavylid.Firsttheremetmyeyesascatteredcollectionofsouvenirpostcards,muchdiscoloredandfaded,butsufficientlypreservedtoawakenaclamorofprotestandlonging.ThereweretantalizingpicturesoftheCafdeParisandTrafalgarSquareandthebundatHongKong.

YoungMr.Lawrencemusthavebeenaconfirmedsouvenir-buyer.Icouldtracehisodysseybytrivialthingshehadpickeduphereandthere.Twocurveddaggerswithturquoisesettingsinth

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