The OpenerThe Opener

Ladies and gentsLadies and gents

well, I take no offensewell, I take no offense

I know I’m not who you’reI know I’m not who you’re

here to seehere to see

And it won’t be longAnd it won’t be long

till the headliner’s ontill the headliner’s on

then you’ll bethen you’ll be

done with me done with me

So don’t wrack your brainSo don’t wrack your brain

no you’ve not heard my nameno you’ve not heard my name

or a single song of mineor a single song of mine

And if you need to go pottyAnd if you need to go potty

well it’s out in the lobbywell it’s out in the lobby

better go nowbetter go now

while there’s still timewhile there’s still time

Cause I’m the opening actCause I’m the opening act

don’t get much timedon’t get much time

maybe four tracksmaybe four tracks

or five at bestor five at best

So, I play only songsSo, I play only songs

that I hope make you longthat I hope make you long

to go out and buy the restto go out and buy the rest

And it is okAnd it is ok

if I choose to be shamelessif I choose to be shameless

cause tonightcause tonight

I’m not getting paidI’m not getting paid

So as soon as I’m ableSo as soon as I’m able

I’ll be out by my tableI’ll be out by my table

telling you about my myspacetelling you about my myspace

I wish I could sayI wish I could say

with the truth on my facewith the truth on my face

that the reason I’m here that the reason I’m here

tonighttonight

Is cause they like my songsIs cause they like my songs

and they just can’t go onand they just can’t go on

without the openingwithout the opening

I provide I provide

But the truth is I’m cheapBut the truth is I’m cheap

and I don’t take much spaceand I don’t take much space

cause it’s just me and my cause it’s just me and my

guitarguitar

So when I get to the soloSo when I get to the solo

well I’m up here alone sowell I’m up here alone so

I’ll just have to I’ll just have to

whistle that partwhistle that part

Yeah I’m the opening actYeah I’m the opening act

don’t get much timedon’t get much time

maybe four tracksmaybe four tracks

or five at bestor five at best

So, I play only songsSo, I play only songs

that I hope make you longthat I hope make you long

to go out and buy the restto go out and buy the rest

And it is okAnd it is ok

if I choose to be shamelessif I choose to be shameless

did I mentiondid I mention

I’m not getting paidI’m not getting paid

So as soon as I’m ableSo as soon as I’m able

I’ll be out by my tableI’ll be out by my table

and if you buy a CDand if you buy a CD

well you’re enabling mewell you’re enabling me

To put bread on my plate,To put bread on my plate,

take my wife on a datetake my wife on a date

well I better stop nowwell I better stop now

before you tune me outbefore you tune me out

But don’t forget about But don’t forget about

my myspacemy myspace