The Nature & Necessity of Marriage.

When God created Adam and Eve, When God created Adam and Eve, He made each one to be unique.He made each one to be unique.

They differed physiologically, They differed physiologically, psychologically, & personally.psychologically, & personally.

The evidence remains today:The evidence remains today: Men and women think and act differently.Men and women think and act differently. They approach problems with differing They approach problems with differing

perspectives.perspectives. Wives and husbands have different Wives and husbands have different

expectations for the marriage expectations for the marriage relationship.relationship.

Differences: “Things Women Want from Men”

A list compiled by Cherly Lavin and A list compiled by Cherly Lavin and published in the Chicago Tribune.published in the Chicago Tribune.

A list of 7A list of 7 ( (there were over 70 in allthere were over 70 in all).). 1. If you ask us what’s wrong and we 1. If you ask us what’s wrong and we

say nothing, ask us again. And this say nothing, ask us again. And this time, look sincere.time, look sincere.

2. When we say something, it’s 2. When we say something, it’s necessary for you to respond. At the necessary for you to respond. At the very minimum, nod your head. very minimum, nod your head.

3. Buy yourself some decent clothes.3. Buy yourself some decent clothes.

Differences: “Things Women Want from Men”

4. We are self-conscious by nature; we 4. We are self-conscious by nature; we can’t help it.can’t help it.

5. Real men run dishwashers and dust.5. Real men run dishwashers and dust. 6. When no one’s home, stand in front 6. When no one’s home, stand in front

of the mirror and practice this until you of the mirror and practice this until you can say it in public, “I was wrong.”can say it in public, “I was wrong.”

7. After you have mastered that, work 7. After you have mastered that, work on, “I’m sorry.”on, “I’m sorry.”

EX: 5 words that make a marriage.EX: 5 words that make a marriage.

Differences: “Men’s Rules for Women”

A list compiled by Cherly Lavin and A list compiled by Cherly Lavin and published in the Chicago Tribune.published in the Chicago Tribune.

A list of 7A list of 7 ( (there were a little less there were a little less than 40 in allthan 40 in all).).

1. When we have to go somewhere, 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.Really.

2. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear 2. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!hints don't work. Just say it!

Differences: “Men’s Rules for Women”

3. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable 3. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.answers to almost every question.

4. No, we don't know what day it is. We 4. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar you know we check.calendar you know we check.

5. Anything we said six months ago is 5. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void comments become null and void after seven days.after seven days.

6. Christopher Columbus didn't 6. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.need directions, and neither do we.

Differences: “Men’s Rules for Women”

7. If something we said can be 7. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.the other one.

Marriage is based in part on an ability Marriage is based in part on an ability to communicate.to communicate.

There will be misunderstandings.There will be misunderstandings. You must choose to work through them You must choose to work through them

to make your marriage stronger. to make your marriage stronger. Today, we will look at Today, we will look at Genesis 2:24-25Genesis 2:24-25 to to

gain more insights on marriage. gain more insights on marriage.

Genesis 2:21-25 (Page 2) 21 21 So the LORD God caused the So the LORD God caused the

man to fall into a deep sleep; and man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. up the place with flesh. 22 22 Then Then the LORD God made a woman the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man, and he brought her to the man. the man.

23 23 The man said, “This is now bone The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; of my bones and flesh of my flesh;

Genesis 2:21-25 she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she shall be called ‘woman,’ for

she was taken out of man.” she was taken out of man.” 24 24 For this reason a man will For this reason a man will

leave his father and mother leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. they will become one flesh.

25 25 The man and his wife were The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no both naked, and they felt no shame.shame. The New International Version, (Grand Rapids, MI: The New International Version, (Grand Rapids, MI:

Zondervan Publishing House) 1984.Zondervan Publishing House) 1984.

The Nature & Necessities for a Strong Marriage:

1. 1. LeavingLeaving – Built Around – Built Around Mutual Sacrifice (Vs. 24a)Mutual Sacrifice (Vs. 24a)

2. 2. CleavingCleaving – Built – Built Around Mutual Around Mutual Commitment (Vs. 24b)Commitment (Vs. 24b)

3. 3. Becoming OneBecoming One – Built – Built Around Mutual Need (Vv. 24c-Around Mutual Need (Vv. 24c-25)25)

The Nature of Marriage: Monogamous:Monogamous:- One man and one woman.- One man and one woman.- NOT polygamy.- NOT polygamy.

Between a man and a woman.Between a man and a woman. - Adam & Eve . . .- Adam & Eve . . . - Not Adam and Steve.- Not Adam and Steve. - Not Eve and Eva.- Not Eve and Eva. A man A man (Ish)(Ish) leaves & cleaves leaves & cleaves

to his wife to his wife (Ishah)(Ishah)

The Necessities of Marriage:

1. 1. It RequiresIt Requires LeavingLeaving (Vs. 24a) (Vs. 24a) Leave = awzab – “to leave, forsake, “to leave, forsake,

abandon, leave behind, let go.”abandon, leave behind, let go.” —Vine's Expository —Vine's Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words

But what must they leave behind?But what must they leave behind? I believe there are at least two areas:I believe there are at least two areas: A. They must leave the A. They must leave the

home in which they grew up.home in which they grew up. You do not abandon your parents You do not abandon your parents

but the relationship with them but the relationship with them changes.changes.

Leaving . . . EX: Father Refuses His DaughterEX: Father Refuses His Daughter Leaving is not easy, but if either the Leaving is not easy, but if either the

man or the woman fail to leave, it will man or the woman fail to leave, it will hamper and hurt the marriage.hamper and hurt the marriage.

I have encountered instances where I have encountered instances where the husband has not left the home the husband has not left the home where he grew up.where he grew up.

I have encountered the same in wives I have encountered the same in wives who have not left their parent’s home.who have not left their parent’s home.

Both man and woman must be willing Both man and woman must be willing to sacrifice for the sake of the to sacrifice for the sake of the marriage.marriage.

Leaving . . . A. They must leave the home in A. They must leave the home in

which they grew up. which they grew up. B. They must leave their life B. They must leave their life

of singleness behind. of singleness behind. EX: Unity CandleEX: Unity Candle It is not two individuals who happen It is not two individuals who happen

to be living together.to be living together. Instead, it is a couple that are in the Instead, it is a couple that are in the

ongoing process of becoming one.ongoing process of becoming one. In your home, are you a couple or two In your home, are you a couple or two

individuals in constant competition?individuals in constant competition?

The Necessities of Marriage:

Requires LEAVING:Requires LEAVING: You must leave so you can You must leave so you can

CLEAVE.CLEAVE. Example of gymnast:Example of gymnast: You must let go You must let go

SO you can catch SO you can catch the next bar.the next bar.

Cleaving . . . Cleave = Cleave = dawbakdawbak - - to cling, stick,

stay close, cleave, keep close, stick to, stick with, follow closely, join to, overtake, catch Enhanced Strong’s Lexicon, (Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Enhanced Strong’s Lexicon, (Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.) 1995.Inc.) 1995.

Exemplified in the movie, Exemplified in the movie, FireproofFireproof, by the supergluing of a , by the supergluing of a salt & pepper shaker together. salt & pepper shaker together.

To pry them apart would not be easy.To pry them apart would not be easy. To pry them apart would also destroy To pry them apart would also destroy

one or both of them.one or both of them.

Cleaving . . . Cleaving requires commitment.Cleaving requires commitment. Cleaving demands that you work on Cleaving demands that you work on

your relationship to make sure you your relationship to make sure you continue to have things in common to continue to have things in common to unite you.unite you.

EX: Marriage needs common ground.EX: Marriage needs common ground. What are you doing as a couple to What are you doing as a couple to

build your marriage?build your marriage? Do you minister together? Do you minister together? Do you continue to date one another?Do you continue to date one another? OR, are you drifting apart?OR, are you drifting apart?

Commitment . . . Results in BECOMING ONE:Results in BECOMING ONE: A Life-long process! Mentioned as a future state,

“the two shall become one.” Repeated in the New

Testament as something for which to strive: Matthew 19:5

Mark 10:8 1 Corinthians 6:16Ephesians 5:31

Becoming One . . . Some of the greatest examples of Some of the greatest examples of

oneness are evidenced in the lives of oneness are evidenced in the lives of couples who have been married many, couples who have been married many, many years.many years.

EX: Couple celebrates 50EX: Couple celebrates 50thth Anniversary. Anniversary. Maybe that wasn’t the best example, Maybe that wasn’t the best example,

but here is one that is . . .but here is one that is . . . EX: The Memory of Love.EX: The Memory of Love. Will your marriage last?Will your marriage last? Are you overcoming or feeling overrun?Are you overcoming or feeling overrun?

For a Marriage to Work: Seek to be a completer . . . Seek to be a completer . . .

not a competitor. not a competitor. Strive to be committed . . . Strive to be committed . . .

not discontented. not discontented. Search for companionship . . . Search for companionship . . .

not conflict. not conflict. Marriages are built around Marriages are built around

mutual sacrifice.mutual sacrifice. Marriages are built around Marriages are built around

mutual commitment.mutual commitment.

A life-long commitment: Marriages are built around Marriages are built around

mutual need.mutual need. Two are better than one.Two are better than one. A cord of three is not quickly broken.A cord of three is not quickly broken. The third strand of a Christian The third strand of a Christian

marriage is God.marriage is God. Perhaps our problem is that we have Perhaps our problem is that we have

foggy ideas on what exactly is love?foggy ideas on what exactly is love? Video: Interview with cupid.Video: Interview with cupid.