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A Wilfrid Laurier UniversityStudent Publication75 University Avenue WestWaterloo, On. N2L 3C5519 884 0710 ext. 2738519 883 0873 (fax)blueprint@wlusp.com

Editor In Chief Mark Ciesluk

Managing Editor Emily Slofstra

Copy Editor Erin Epp

Distribution Manager Jacob Pries

Contributors Sophie Blom, Griffin Car-penter, John Clements, Scott Cowan, Erin Epp, Mike Hillcoat, Sydney Helland, Alejandro Hun-derto, Dan Kellar, Erik Lankin, Janice Lee, Adam Lewis, Andrew Parker, Shagun Randhawa, Joshua Smyth

WLUSP Administration

President Greg Sacks VP Advertising Angela Foster VP Brantford Holly Gibson Chair, BOD Bryn Ossington Vice Chair, BOD Janice Lee Directors Brendan Mcgill, Luay Salmon, Chris Copp, Dennis Watson

Photo Credits

Cover:Sydney Helland w/ Emily Slof-stra

Back:Sydney Helland w/ Emily Slof-stra

Jen Evans, Sydney Helland, Yasa-man Shayangogani

Please send letters tosubmissions@blueprintmagazine.ca

Myth & the art of StorytellingIt’s not just that the stories we hear, remember, and share are ultimately all that we have in this world which hold the permanence denied to our physical possessions – they are indeed our only real chance at immortality – they’re actually all that we are, too. This could be understood in the way that some might see the measure of a man as the respect he has earned from his family and community, or how we measure our self worth against the stories we hold true of our selves and the world, or how we have the ability to fall into !ts of denial and cling more tightly to a comfortable story than a harsh reality, but it is meant more literally than that. We are only the experience of the story of our life as it is being told, only aware of our own story and the people and places and things and thoughts which enter it, and only able to make sense of life’s experiences in the private contexts of our personal world. To walk a mile in another man’s shoes might be an illuminating (or merely injurious) experience, but it will always only be your experience of his experience.

The art of telling a story well, however, transports the listener or reader beyond their surroundings, beyond their problems, beyond the limits of their own life’s story for a time. Being told of great adven-ture is more than just passing time in a !t of fancy – it is literally exercise for the brain and the chance to vicariously undergo a replaying of the emotional and chemical excitements behind the actions and words being depicted. A chill dread down your spine when someone speaks of a terrible accident or warm waves of generous laughter at the expense of another are very real experiences, and the ability of the master storyteller to seamlessly weave the emotions of the listener into the story being told is a fascinating thing to behold at any age.

Camp!res, porches, and water coolers are the natural habitat of the master and amateur storyteller alike – anywhere that unsuspecting ears linger long enough to be bent. Favourite puns, ancient anec-dotes, and jokes older than dirt (Q: What’s brown and sticky? A: A stick) all !nd fresh laughter when they meet new ears, and the bloody details only get gorier (and the !sh longer, the girls more beautiful, and the hangovers worse) with every year they are half-remembered anew and re-retold once again.

Ever hear about the time I met Dave Grohl? What about the one about my buddy the plumber? Remember that night we threw the keg in the back of the Jeep and hit the road?

- Mark Ciesluk, Editor-in-Chief

Andrew Parker ........................................................ADan Kellar..............................................................4-5John Clements..........................................................5Griffin Carpenter....................................................6Sydney Helland........................................................7Janice Lee.....................................................................7Erik Lankin.............................................................8-9Mike Hillcoat..........................................................11Erin Epp......................................................................12Joshua Smyth..........................................................13Alejandro Hunderto...........................................14Scott Cowan............................................................14Adam Lewis................................................................15Sophie Blom..............................................................15Shagun Randhawa................................................15

APPENDIX A

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Blueprint presents

!"##$%Please contact submissions@blueprintmagazine.ca with your proposed ideas for spoofs, parodies, sarcastic

rants and all other humorous articles/poems/photos &cetera by 7 Feb.

Final submissions due 21 Feb.

ADVENTURE 4

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A Giant Cause

COMMENTARY 5

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9#($#;%)*<($;'%)"#%<"*0#%4*55.-&)+%)"#-%&)%&'% &5:*$C)(-)%)*%#-'.$#%)"()%)"#%(4)&7&)&#'%($#%7&#<#;%('%&-7&)&-9%)*%5#5>#$'%*1%)"#%4*55.-&)+%)"()%;*%-*)%(0$#(;+%&;#-)&1+%<&)"%(4)&7&')%9$*.:'@%!"#%1(4)%)"()%-#($0+%#7#$+% 1(4#% &-%)"#%4*-4*.$'#%*-%Q.+%F*)"&-9%R(+%<('%1(5&0&($%)*%)"#%(4)&7&')%4*55.-&)+%'"*.0;%'#$7#%)*%&00.')$()#%J.')%"*<%1($%)"#%(4)&7&')%4*55.-&)+%5.')%9*%)*%).$-%5+)"%&-)*%$#(0C&)+@

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

K)%5(+%>#%;&'&-9#-.*.'%<"#-%K%$#1#$%)*%64(5:.'%(4)&7C&')'8,%)"#%)$.)"%&'%)"()%K%*1)#-%?-;%5+%"*5#%'*5#<"#$#%&-%)"&'%)#$5@%Q.)%K%1##0%')$*-90+%(>*.)%)"#%4"(-9#'%K%<&'"%)*%'##%&-%)"#%<*$0;%(-;%K%<(-)%)*%'##%)"#'#%4"(-9#'%(4C4*5:0&'"#;@%Q#4(.'#%*1%)"&'%K%<*.0;%0*7#%-*)"&-9%>#))#$%)"(-%)"#%(>&0&)+,%()%'*5#%:*&-)%&-%)"#%1.).$#,%)*%:$*40(&5%)"&'%*:#-&-9%')()#5#-)%-*)%('%5+)",%>.)%('%$#(0&)+,%(-;%K%<(-)%+*.%)*%"#0:%5#%5(=#%)"()%1.).$#%-*<@

5&9+':)&;,+<*)$*+

EXPRESSION 76 COMMENTARY

EXPRESSION 7

!"#$%&'()%#*+,%-,%-.'%+/0$(%/(%'./1$2%34%-.'%5*'$1)(6%*12%)#$%($7-12%#*+,%34%-.'%7#/+2'$189%:%;+*'$17$%<*''-=

Peers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

G&'$0-$0)$'($)"048$)"($'&,*%$&+)$)"(,($0-$4&)$012&,)34)6$H&19-$&.(,$)"(,(:$34%$2&.(,)#$&.(,$)"(,($%&(-4A)$13))(,$)&$1(>$;$"3.($4&)"045$)&$%&$'0)"$)"3)$-"0)>$B&4A)$)(**$1($39&+)$)"($'&,*%A-$04<+-)0/(-:$;$<+-)$'34)$)&$,(3%$)"($-2&,)-$-(/)0&4$&83#6$;$%&4A)$'34)$)&$9+,%(4$1#$*0@($'0)"$)"($2,&9*(1-$&@$2(&2*($'3#$&.(,$)"(,(>$H(-0%(-:$;$84&'$4&)"045$39&+)$)"3)$-"0)>$!"(,($)"($"(**$'&+*%$;$-)3,)6$;$'&+*%4A)$9($39*($)&$/&4),09+)($34#'3#>

!"#$%&$'($*()$&+,-(*.(-$9($-"((26$!"#$%&$'($@&**&'$)"($-"(2"(,%-$'"(4$'($%&4A)$(.(4$84&'$'"&$)"($"(**$)"(#$3,(6$!"#$%&$'($"(,%$&+,-(*.(-$%&'4$)"(-($"3**'3#-$04)&$*(/)+,(-:$04)&$)"($9&&8-)&,(:$04)&$(I31-:$',0)($)"($-31($34-'(,-$3-$(.(,#&4($34%$)"048$)"($-31($3-$(.(,#&4(6$;-$)"3)$'"3)$1#$(%+/3)0&4$0-$5())045$1(6$D3+-($;$%&4A)$84&'$39&+)$#&+$9+)$;$'34)$)&$,+4$@,((>

%:%>*1/7$%?$$

STORYTELLING 8

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Whose Story Is This?!"#$%&'()"*%+,$%-(.+%*(/&$%0%&$#)&$&%+,/+%)+%12'3&%

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0+% +22>%<6% .)<<$()"*% 5('.+(/+)2"% :')+$% /%1,)3$% +2%42)3%2E$(%)"+2%+$/(.?%/"&%46%+,/+%+)<$%0%1/.%;(24/436%+,$%2"36%2"$%1,2%($<$<4$($&%+,$%$G#,/"*$9%H,$%E$(6%-(.+%+)<$%0%($<$<4$(% 36)"*% I#/33% )+%<6%<2<$"+%25%'"+('+,J%#/<$% 5(2<%/"%/++$<;+% +2% E/3)&/+$%<6%$<2+)2".% )"% +,$%$6$.%25%H$/#,$(%/"&%5$3321%#3/..</+$.9%K.%,/(&%/.%0%+(6%0%#/""2+%($#/33%1,/+%<6%$G#'.$%1/.?%$G#$;+%52(%+,/+%/.%

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10 ADVERTISEMENT

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COMMENTARY 13

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;%?)+#4&%@8,(#

Childish Things, Stories

14 POETRY

!"#$%&'()%$**'+$',(%()'*-$(%.*$%)#'($%/$%)#-+0%/$%0+'/%1$()%2%.+3%)#$*$4'*$%+$5$*%(6*,)-+-7$%'*%8,$()-'+9:2%;)$<#$+%=.>%?',@3

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POETRY 15

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