The Leader’s Journey

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The Leader’s Journey

The Leader’s Journey

Accepting the Call to Personal and

Congregational Transformation

Accepting the Call to Personal and

Congregational Transformation

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Beyond the Problem FocusBeyond the Problem Focus• Observing self more• Thinking through

our own principles• Attending to our

needs and interests• Attending to our

own adult relationships

• Seeing the part played by nuclear and extended family systems

• Observing self more• Thinking through

our own principles• Attending to our

needs and interests• Attending to our

own adult relationships

• Seeing the part played by nuclear and extended family systems

• Seeing the part we play in the problem in the organization

• Maintaining positive emotional contact with others

• Working with others around the problem based on facts and thoughtfulness

• Seeing the part we play in the problem in the organization

• Maintaining positive emotional contact with others

• Working with others around the problem based on facts and thoughtfulness

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About TheoryAbout Theory

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How Successful Leaders Think:Organizations are Living SystemsHow Successful Leaders Think:

Organizations are Living Systems

• Concept 1: Triangles• Concept 2: Scale of

Differentiation of Self• Concept 3: Nuclear

Family Emotional System

• Concept 4: Multigenerational Emotional System

• Concept 1: Triangles• Concept 2: Scale of

Differentiation of Self• Concept 3: Nuclear

Family Emotional System

• Concept 4: Multigenerational Emotional System

• Concept 5: Family Projection Process

• Concept 6: Sibling Position

• Concept 7: Cutoff• Concept 8: Societal

Emotional Process• Concept 9: The

Spiritual Journey

• Concept 5: Family Projection Process

• Concept 6: Sibling Position

• Concept 7: Cutoff• Concept 8: Societal

Emotional Process• Concept 9: The

Spiritual Journey

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When one person make some basic changes,

When one person make some basic changes,

the whole system does.

the whole system does.

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Murray Bowen:Murray Bowen:“When any key member of an emotional

system can (1)control his own emotional reactiveness

and(2)accurately observe the functioning of the

system and his part in it, and (3)he can avoid counter-attacking when he

is provoked, and (4)when he can maintain an active

relationship with the other key members without withdrawing or becoming silent, (then)

the entire system will change in a series of predictable steps.”

“When any key member of an emotional system can

(1)control his own emotional reactiveness and

(2)accurately observe the functioning of the system and his part in it, and

(3)he can avoid counter-attacking when he is provoked, and

(4)when he can maintain an active relationship with the other key members without withdrawing or becoming silent, (then)

the entire system will change in a series of predictable steps.”

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A B C =D

Linear ThinkingLinear Thinking

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A

BC DMultiple CausationMultiple Causation

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A

B

C

D

Systems ThinkingSystems Thinking

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Two Variables At Work

Two Variables At Work

1. Level of Emotional Maturity

2. Level of Anxiety and Tension

1. Level of Emotional Maturity

2. Level of Anxiety and Tension

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Emotional ReactivityEmotional Reactivity

The capacity to react without thinking

The capacity to react without thinking

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The Triune BrainThe Triune Brain

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AnxietyAnxiety

Reaction to threat or perceived threat

Reaction to threat or perceived threat

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Acute AnxietyAcute AnxietyReaction to threat that

is REAL and TIME-LIMITED

Reaction to threat that is REAL and TIME-

LIMITED

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Chronic AnxietyChronic AnxietyReaction to threat that is

IMAGINED or EXAGGERATED and NOT

TIME-LIMITED

Reaction to threat that is IMAGINED or

EXAGGERATED and NOT TIME-LIMITED

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Chronic AnxietyChronic Anxiety• Imagined or Exaggerated

• Not time-limited

• Ambient level in a family’s life

• May begin with an acute crisis

• Develops a life of its own

• Requires two poles to function

• Additive

• Contagious (actually, everything is contagious)

• Imagined or Exaggerated

• Not time-limited

• Ambient level in a family’s life

• May begin with an acute crisis

• Develops a life of its own

• Requires two poles to function

• Additive

• Contagious (actually, everything is contagious)

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Characteristics of an Anxious SystemCharacteristics of an Anxious System

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• Heightened Reactivity– Automatic– Instinctive– Interruptions– Thinking for each other– Finishing sentences– Take things personally– Make things personal– Organizes around the

least mature member

• Heightened Reactivity– Automatic– Instinctive– Interruptions– Thinking for each other– Finishing sentences– Take things personally– Make things personal– Organizes around the

least mature member

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• Herding Instinct– Pressure to

conformity– Discouraging

dissent– Peace over

progress– B&W, all-or-

nothing thinking

• Herding Instinct– Pressure to

conformity– Discouraging

dissent– Peace over

progress– B&W, all-or-

nothing thinking

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• Blame Displacement– Looking outward

for explanations rather than inward

– Victim attitude– Diagnosing,

focusing on others– Failure to take

responsibility

• Blame Displacement– Looking outward

for explanations rather than inward

– Victim attitude– Diagnosing,

focusing on others– Failure to take

responsibility

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Genesis 3

The Blame Game

Genesis 3

The Blame Game

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• Quick Fix– Expect others to

solve our problems

– And to do it now– And painlessly– Symptom focused– Recycles anxiety

elsewhere

• Quick Fix– Expect others to

solve our problems

– And to do it now– And painlessly– Symptom focused– Recycles anxiety

elsewhere

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• Poor Leadership– No clear vision– No well-thought-

out principles– The chronically

anxious system is ultimately leaderless

• Poor Leadership– No clear vision– No well-thought-

out principles– The chronically

anxious system is ultimately leaderless

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Concept One: TrianglesConcept One: Triangles

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A

BC

TrianglesTriangles

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A

BC

TrianglesTriangles

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Concept Two: Scale of Differentiation of Self


0

100

Intellectu

al

Emotional

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37

100100

EqualEqual SeparateSeparateOpenOpen

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0

Completely FusedCompletely Fused

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5050

40

2525

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Concept Three: Nuclear Family Emotional System


The Four Human Strategies for Dealing with Anxiety

The Four Human Strategies for Dealing with Anxiety

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ConflictConflict

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DistanceDistance

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Overfuntioning/

Underfunctioning

Overfuntioning/

Underfunctioning

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TrianglingTriangling

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Concept Four: Multigenerational Emotional System

Concept Four: Multigenerational Emotional System

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The Multigenerational Emotional System

The Multigenerational Emotional System

• Each nuclear family is the product of 62 nuclear families in the five generations that precede it, and of over 1000 nuclear families in the nine generations that precede it.

• Each nuclear family is the product of 62 nuclear families in the five generations that precede it, and of over 1000 nuclear families in the nine generations that precede it.

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Understanding the Generations of our Families

Understanding the Generations of our Families

• Will require action on our part

• Will help us see we are part of a long process

• Will require us to take up the role of researcher

• Will help to minimize cutoff as a pattern

• Will require action on our part

• Will help us see we are part of a long process

• Will require us to take up the role of researcher

• Will help to minimize cutoff as a pattern

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35 35

Concept Five: Family Projection ProcessConcept Five: Family Projection Process

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35 35


51

35 35


52

35353535 3535

30


53

3535 3535

4040 3030


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Why Children in the Same Family Turn Out So Differently

Why Children in the Same Family Turn Out So Differently

• Families deal with different amounts of anxiety at different times

• Families deal with different amounts of anxiety at different times

• Families focus on children differently

• Families focus on children differently

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How do Children come to be the focus of family anxiety?How do Children come to be the focus of family anxiety?

• What was taking place at the time of birth or pregnancy

• Same position as another in the family who did not do well

• Sibling position

• What was taking place at the time of birth or pregnancy

• Same position as another in the family who did not do well

• Sibling position

• Birth defect or problem birth

• Anything that makes a child different

• Birth defect or problem birth

• Anything that makes a child different

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Sometimes families are totally unaware of how they are “doing in” some of their family members or how they might be able to handle anxiety differently had they a different way of thinking about relationships and anxiety.

Sometimes families are totally unaware of how they are “doing in” some of their family members or how they might be able to handle anxiety differently had they a different way of thinking about relationships and anxiety.

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And sometimes we even grow anxious over that!And sometimes we even grow anxious over that!

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Parents working from family systems principles do not try to treat each child the same.

Parents working from family systems principles do not try to treat each child the same.

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They will, however, know that an anxious focus on children is detrimental to their development and life course.

They will, however, know that an anxious focus on children is detrimental to their development and life course.

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They try to contain their own anxiety, processing it within the self, with each other, and the extended family system, rather than developing anxious, focused relationships with the children.

They try to contain their own anxiety, processing it within the self, with each other, and the extended family system, rather than developing anxious, focused relationships with the children.

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B. 1978 B. 1981

x x

D. 1985

…………………………………………………………………………..

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B. 1978 B. 1981

x x

D. 1985

…………………………………………………………………………..

B. 1992

1994 Difficulties at work

1995 Clinical Depression

D. 1994

D. 1996

1994 Expelled for

Drug Use

1988 Stroke moved in with

family

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B. 1978 B. 1981

x x

D. 1985

…………………………………………………………………………..

B. 1992

1994 Difficulties at work

1995 Clinical Depression

D. 1994

D. 1996

1994 Expelled for

Drug Use

1998 Trouble with law

1996-97 Continued Drug Use

D. 1998

1988 Stroke moved in with

family

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Concept Six: Sibling PositionConcept Six: Sibling Position

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Sibling PositionSibling Position

Oldest Brother of BrothersOldest Brother of Brothers

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Youngest Brother of BrothersYoungest Brother of Brothers

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Oldest Brother of SistersOldest Brother of Sisters

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Youngest Brother of SistersYoungest Brother of Sisters

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Male Only ChildMale Only Child

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Oldest Sister of SistersOldest Sister of Sisters

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Youngest Sister of SistersYoungest Sister of Sisters

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Youngest Sister of BrothersYoungest Sister of Brothers

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Female Only ChildFemale Only Child

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Special Sibling Positions


The Middle ChildThe Middle Child

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TwinsTwins

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Resulting RelationshipsResulting RelationshipsPositions Without Rank or

Sex Conflict Positions Without Rank or

Sex Conflict

•Oldest Brother of Sisters and Youngest Sister of Brothers

•Youngest Brother of Sisters and Oldest Sister of Brothers

•Oldest Brother of Sisters and Youngest Sister of Brothers

•Youngest Brother of Sisters and Oldest Sister of Brothers

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Resulting RelationshipsResulting RelationshipsPartial Sex Conflict Partial Sex Conflict

•Oldest Brother of Sisters and Youngest Sister of Sisters

•Youngest Brother of Sisters and Oldest Sister of Sisters

•Oldest Brother of Brothers and Youngest Sister of Brothers

•Youngest Brother of Brothers and Oldest Sister of Brothers

•Oldest Brother of Sisters and Youngest Sister of Sisters

•Youngest Brother of Sisters and Oldest Sister of Sisters

•Oldest Brother of Brothers and Youngest Sister of Brothers

•Youngest Brother of Brothers and Oldest Sister of Brothers

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Resulting RelationshipsResulting RelationshipsRank or Sex Conflict Relationships Rank or Sex Conflict Relationships

•Oldest Brother of Sisters and Oldest Sister of Brothers

•Youngest Brother of Sisters and Youngest Sister of Brothers

•Oldest Brother of Brothers and Youngest Sister of Sisters

•Youngest Brother of Brothers and Oldest Sister of Sisters

•Oldest Brother of Sisters and Oldest Sister of Brothers

•Youngest Brother of Sisters and Youngest Sister of Brothers

•Oldest Brother of Brothers and Youngest Sister of Sisters

•Youngest Brother of Brothers and Oldest Sister of Sisters

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Resulting RelationshipsResulting RelationshipsRank and Partial Sex Conflict

Relationships Rank and Partial Sex Conflict

Relationships •Oldest Brother of Sisters and Oldest Sister of Sisters

•Youngest Brother of Sisters and Youngest Sister of Sisters

•Oldest Brother of Brothers and Oldest Sister of Brothers

•Youngest Brother of Brothers and Youngest Sister of Brothers

•Oldest Brother of Sisters and Oldest Sister of Sisters

•Youngest Brother of Sisters and Youngest Sister of Sisters

•Oldest Brother of Brothers and Oldest Sister of Brothers

•Youngest Brother of Brothers and Youngest Sister of Brothers

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Resulting RelationshipsResulting RelationshipsRank and Sex Conflict Relationships Rank and Sex Conflict Relationships

•Oldest Brother of Brothers and Oldest Sister of Sisters

•Youngest Brother of Brothers and Youngest Sister of Sisters

•Only Children

•Oldest Brother of Brothers and Oldest Sister of Sisters

•Youngest Brother of Brothers and Youngest Sister of Sisters

•Only Children

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Concept Seven: CutoffConcept Seven: Cutoff

Extreme form of distancing

Extreme form of distancing

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Creech Family DiagramCreech Family Diagram

Rosser MartinScottCryerCreech Cocke Culpepper Culpepper

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Concept Eight: Societal Emotional Process

Concept Eight: Societal Emotional Process

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Concept Nine: Spiritual JourneyConcept Nine: Spiritual Journey

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Personal ObediencePersonal ObediencePersonal ObediencePersonal Obedience

A Community of A Community of Grace and TruthGrace and Truth

A Community of A Community of Grace and TruthGrace and Truth

Reflective LivingReflective LivingReflective LivingReflective Living

The Threefold Process of Personal Transformation

Fig. 1.1

The Threefold Process of Personal Transformation

Fig. 1.1

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Engaging New Behaviors

Engaging New Behaviors

ConsciouslyConsciouslyIncompetentIncompetent

UnconsciouslyUnconsciouslyCompetentCompetent

UnconsciouslyUnconsciouslyIncompetentIncompetent

ConsciouslyConsciouslyCompetentCompetent

ConsciouslyConsciouslyCompetentCompetent

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The Triune BrainThe Triune Brain

The Leader’s Journey

Health & Medicine

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