"The Interview" and the Effect of Stank Dick on International Relations

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 “The Interview” and the Effect of Stank Dick on International Relations  Jared Choate  Well - I made it. I wanted to wait until morning to celebrate. But I mad e it. I watched “The Interview” at home yesterday - and lived to type about it. I didn’t get my identity stolen, or wake up with a nuclear warhead next to me like Jack Woltz’s horse in “The Godfather.”  The story of the movie’s release tells itself by now. At first set to come out in October, the studio balked at claims of poor testing as the reason behind shifting its release to Christmas. No, a wider opening during the holiday season was the true reason they said. All seemed fair enough.  And then all hell broke loose. Leaks of internal data and threats of retalliation - all due to the affrontery of Seth Rogen and James Franco and their jokes about “stank dick”? Not exactly. It seems North Korea was Kim Jong Un-impressed at the movie’s plot about a bumbling “journalist” and his producer assassinating the allegedly buttholeless Supreme Leader (uses too much energy to have to pee and poop, so he proclaims). I shun to think he received news of its production while in the middle of a heavy roundtable discussion with his allies - the dolphins.  Then the movie was pulled - then not  pulled - then set for release as VOD for in home viewing - then released in theaters again. There was more flip flopping than a presidential election. Who knows the truth anymore? It was just determined - “conclusively” - that North Korea had nothing to do with the cyberattacks - and it may have been an internal leak. It’s all neither here nor there. The real question remains: what happens to Franco’s stank dick? Starting with a celebrity cameo that manages to be funny enough to merit the cliche, the opening also serves to illustrate the bottom of the barrel drek that Dave Skylark (Franco) is known for. “That’s the number one rule in journalism - give the people what they want” he says to producer  Aaron Rapoport (Rogen). “You’re thinking of circuses - or demolition der bies” Rapoport responds. Such is the nature of their relationship. But this is hardly “Network.” Before the satire can become so self-serious as to be an indicting commentary - in comes the rub. It’s learned that Kim is a fan of Dave’s, of Skylark Tonight. When they learn he loves them Jong time, they strike while the ratings are hot, getting Supreme Poopless Leader to acquiesce to a sit down interview with Skylark. Before tape can roll though, the two are visited by CIA’s Agent Lacey (“Masters of Sex” and “Freaks and Geeks” Lizzy Caplan) - in questionable eyewear - to recruit them to assassinate (un-Un?  ) Kim Jong Un with the old ricin strip handshake.

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"The Interview" released theatrically and on VOD Christmas Day 2014.

Transcript of "The Interview" and the Effect of Stank Dick on International Relations

  • The Interview and the Effect of Stank Dick on International Relations Jared Choate

    Well - I made it. I wanted to wait until morning to celebrate. But I made it. I watched The Interview at home yesterday - and lived to type about it. I didnt get my identity stolen, or wake up with a nuclear warhead next to me like Jack Woltzs horse in The Godfather. The story of the movies release tells itself by now. At first set to come out in October, the studio balked at claims of poor testing as the reason behind shifting its release to Christmas. No, a wider opening during the holiday season was the true reason they said. All seemed fair enough. And then all hell broke loose. Leaks of internal data and threats of retalliation - all due to the affrontery of Seth Rogen and James Franco and their jokes about stank dick? Not exactly. It seems North Korea was Kim Jong Un-impressed at the movies plot about a bumbling journalist and his producer assassinating the allegedly buttholeless Supreme Leader (uses too much energy to have to pee and poop, so he proclaims). I shun to think he received news of its production while in the middle of a heavy roundtable discussion with his allies - the dolphins. Then the movie was pulled - then not pulled - then set for release as VOD for in home viewing - then released in theaters again. There was more flip flopping than a presidential election. Who knows the truth anymore? It was just determined - conclusively - that North Korea had nothing to do with the cyberattacks - and it may have been an internal leak. Its all neither here nor there. The real question remains: what happens to Francos stank dick? Starting with a celebrity cameo that manages to be funny enough to merit the cliche, the opening also serves to illustrate the bottom of the barrel drek that Dave Skylark (Franco) is known for. Thats the number one rule in journalism - give the people what they want he says to producer Aaron Rapoport (Rogen). Youre thinking of circuses - or demolition derbies Rapoport responds. Such is the nature of their relationship. But this is hardly Network. Before the satire can become so self-serious as to be an indicting commentary - in comes the rub. Its learned that Kim is a fan of Daves, of Skylark Tonight. When they learn he loves them Jong time, they strike while the ratings are hot, getting Supreme Poopless Leader to acquiesce to a sit down interview with Skylark. Before tape can roll though, the two are visited by CIAs Agent Lacey (Masters of Sex and Freaks and Geeks Lizzy Caplan) - in questionable eyewear - to recruit them to assassinate (un-Un?) Kim Jong Un with the old ricin strip handshake.

  • The screenplay (by former Daily Show and Sarah Silverman Program writer Dan Sterling) sends Skylark and Rapoport to Pyongyang where they meet the dictator (a supreme Randall Park - The Office, Veep) and the head of propaganda - a dynamite Diana Bang, entering to the White Stripes Conquest - and earning every inch of those bagpipes. From there, well, if youve seen the Rogen/Apatow canon - you probably know what to expect. Even when the action is ratcheted - time is made for jokes about Matthew McConaughey fornicating with a goat. And even when they fall flat, its worth commending how well-constructed the other pieces are - from the bouncy soundtrack to the surprisingly deft cinematography - the final product may never quite be greater than the sum of it parts - or deliver any political perspective or ideological truisms - but it doesnt need to. I dare say: it doesnt intend to. As fate would have it, it just may have found itself wedged into that conversation, not by choice, but by virtue of its release - simultanouesly in theaters and on VOD. Could a movie with jokes about alleged McConaughey beastiality also signal a shift into a new era of simultaneous theatrical and digital release? Time and box office will tell. For now: Ive got a few questions for that goat.